#41. Part 1. How To Make Friends in the USA as an Expat Woman—What Actually Works

Wondering where to find the kind of female friendships that actually feed your soul?

You’re not wrong for craving more than surface-level connection. We're talking about loneliness, cultural shifts, and the quiet ache of being unknown in a new country.

Forming meaningful friendships can feel like a second full-time job. 

You’ll walk away with:

• Science-backed reasons why female friendships improve mental health, reduce stress, and protect your wellbeing
• A practical first step to identify the kind of friendship you actually need—so you stop wasting energy on groups that don’t nourish you
• Actionable tips and rituals to start building mutual, vulnerable connections in the USA—based on what’s worked for other expat women

Press play for a mini-roadmap to finding and nurturing female friendships in the USA—so you can feel seen, supported, and less alone.

This podcast dives into expat and immigrant stories—women and men who’ve immigrated to the USA, tackling homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Through conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of resilience and tenacity. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas, while emphasizing the importance of strong support systems and wellbeing for women pursuing the American dream.

https://www.instagram.com/theplaces_wecallhome

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Today's episode breaks down thescience behind female
friendships and why these arepowerful antidotes to loneliness
For expat women in the USA andbeyond from brain health to
emotional safety.
We'll explore what makes thesefriendship bonds so vital and
how you can begin building yourstoday.

(00:23):
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming homesickness,embracing cultural differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home.
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, you
know, the pangs of homesicknessand culture shock to the
journeys of reinventingyourself.

(00:44):
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a
foreign adult in a new world.
it is Friday.
On Friday episodes we find tipsand strategies to help you,

(01:06):
expat woman, have a healthyimmigrant experience.
Starting over in the USA isn'tjust about visas and paperwork,
it's also about buildingconnections.
Everybody wants to know how tomake friends.
And for expat women, we're in aculture that doesn't know us

(01:26):
yet.
Authentic friendships is one ofthe most overlooked challenges,
period.
But double the challenge forexpat women, right alongside the
paperwork.
So let's explore why it matters,what worked for me that can also
work for you.

(01:48):
I did a brief research and foundsome very interesting
science-backed benefits, Ididn't know anything about
these, by the way, why we expectwomen should prioritize seeking
out healthy friendships.
The first from an organizationcalled Amen Clinics.

(02:09):
It found that women with strongsocial support networks are less
likely to experience or at leastreduce the effects from
depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
There is a study from theHarvard Study of Adult
Development on Friendship andLongevity.
Yes.
It's a long title and it's beengoing on for a very long time,

(02:31):
since 1939, I believe.
And that study found people withmore social connections live
longer.
They physically healthier andhave better mental acuity,
including better memory and lessbrain function decline..
So according to these multiplestudies, we expect women, once

(02:56):
we have built strong socialsupport networks, we are less
likely to experience or at leastbetter manage depression and
anxiety, for example.
There's another shared benefits,which I'm finding well, there
are so many more benefits.
I won't go through them all.
I'm just picking out the onesthat I find very relevant to us

(03:21):
as expat women.
This one says that.
What does it say?
Oh, this is about digital versusface-to-face connections.
And it goes on to say, whileonline friendships offer
convenience, they often lackin-person interactions, which
are more protective againstloneliness.

(03:42):
I particularly wanted to sharethat because it's easy to go
online and make connections, andthat's often a recommendation.
Personally, I don't think thatit works well for this very same
reason.
Now the Women's Brain HealthInitiative talk about a landmark
UCLA study, and that study founda number of additional benefits

(04:08):
that I want you to hear.
Friendships among women helpreinforce our personal identity,
especially during transitionslike migration.
what does it mean for us?
Our expat life often involvesidentity shifts and cultural
dislocation and emotionalupheaval.

(04:30):
this support is your lifeline.
I won't go on for too muchlonger about these benefits, but
you can see what I'm getting atand this is important because
loneliness can increase yourrisk of certain mental health
disorders.
And finally, the fourth benefitthat I'm sharing with you, I

(04:52):
didn't know anything about anyof these by the way.
I'm wondering why.
But the fourth is strong femalefriendship improves overall
wellbeing.
Women with strong social tiesreport better mental health,
lower blood pressure, as well asimproved immune function.

(05:15):
It means that loneliness is ahealth risk.
That connections literally helpsyou live longer.
Friendship is a protectivefactor against trauma and
stress.
The IE University for health andlongevity goes on to talk about
how we can leverage.

(05:37):
The power of friendships for ourwellbeing, it says, first, we
ought to prioritize timetogether, schedule social time
with your friends as you wouldschedule a work meeting, because
it's just as vital for yourhealth.
Make friendships a ritual.
Have weekly check-ins.

(05:59):
Send your friend a voice messagebecause this can strengthen your
social bond despite being verybusy.
It goes on to encourage us to bevulnerable and open because
suppressant emotions is a riskfactor for stress related
illness.
Sharing personal strugglesactivates oxytocin, enhances

(06:21):
emotional support andresilience.
And last of all, hug our friendsbecause physical affection
counts.
This is relevant to you andimpacts your life greatly.
It's vital to make good choicesin the people we choose to be
friends with.

(06:43):
Every act of investing inbuilding authentic friendships
here in the USA, is a vital formof self care So whether you've
been here for a while or you arenew to the USA, it means
creating a healthy community ofauthentic friends is a lifeline.

(07:04):
It's not a nice to have.
You need to prioritize it forphysical and psychological
growth and to help you build thelife that you dreamed of.
Now that you know the science,let's talk about how we can
apply this in our life abroad.
You need to understand yourfriendship needs, know what you

(07:27):
are looking for.
I learned the hard way that Imust not just look for people,
but look for connections thatare mutually beneficial.
When you meet somebody who seemslike a potential friend and you
are all excited, ask yourself,Hmm, can we support each other?

(07:49):
Can we be vulnerable together?
So if you are ultimately lookingfor that one person or group
that you can build emotionalsupport with, then you need to
know who you are looking for.
If you are looking for people togo running with and nothing
more, you also need to know thattoo.
You need to know what you wantfrom friendships you are trying

(08:11):
to build.
That's the first thing Irecommend you start working on.
Write it down.
Think about the short term andneeds you are likely to have.
Friendship is our lifeline.
We all want to be seen and to beheard.
We as women need more depth andauthenticity in our

(08:32):
relationships.
Someone with whom we can talkabout our emotional wellbeing,
that sister that is not afamily.
We thrive on finding souls andspirits who understand our
stresses.
People who will say, oh yes,that happened to me.
I know exactly what you mean.

(08:53):
That's shared vulnerability.
So here's a recap of yourtakeaways.
First.
Know your friendship needs.
Ask yourself, what kind ofsupport do I want?
What am I ready to give?
Write it down.
Think about your short term andlong term needs, and this

(09:17):
clarity cuts through a lot ofheadache Reframe friendship as
self care.
IE University for health andlongevity calls friendship
medicine for your mind, body andheart.
Treat it with the same intentionyou give to your regular

(09:42):
wellness routine.
That's what they said.
That's it for me today.
Thank you for your time and i'dlove you to reach out, leave a
comment and share with me whatyou did to build the deep
connections that you have as anexpat woman here in the USA and

(10:04):
beyond.
Whatever you do for the rest ofthe day.
Have a great time.
See you on the next episode.