#46. 5 Signs You’re Outgrowing the Expat Life — & How To Transition Smoothly”?

Expat woman, ever wondered if resilience means holding on… or knowing when to let go of a life that no longer fits?

Pushing through homesickness, cultural differences, and corporate challenges becomes second nature. But sometimes resilience isn’t about enduring — it’s about choosing a new chapter, even if that means returning home.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize the emotional and practical signs that your expat journey may be complete, why redefining resilience can release you from guilt and pressure, and what it looks like to honor your values and family without seeing it as “giving up.”

Listen now. Explore moment when resilience shifts from surviving abroad to creating a life that finally feels like home.

This compelling podcast dives into expat and immigrant stories—women and men who’ve immigrated to the USA, tackling the struggles of homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Through conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of women’s tenacity and the resilience of expats in the USA. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas, while emphasizing the importance of a strong support system and wellbeing for women in pursuit of the American dream.

https://www.instagram.com/theplaces_wecallhome

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
what if resilience isn't justabout pushing through, but about
knowing when it is time tochoose a different kind of life.
In today's episode, we are goingto explore that turning point,
and I'm not referring to movingto the USA, I am talking about
when it time return to yourcountry of origin.

(00:26):
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming homesickness,embracing cultural differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home.
On this podcast, we talk aboutleaving behind the familiar, the
pangs of homesickness andculture shock to the journeys of
reinventing yourself.

(00:47):
I'm Yolanda Reshemah.
And after relocating six times,I know firsthand what it's like
to start from scratch, feelinglike both a foreign child and a
foreign adult in a new world.
Hello, expat woman.
Today I am going to share aconversation I had with another

(01:10):
expat woman who after 20 yearsabroad realized that true
courage isn't only aboutsurviving corporate battles or
proving herself in a foreigncountry like the USA, but it's
about honoring the family,reclaiming belonging, redefining
success on her own terms.

(01:30):
In this episode, I am invitingyou to reflect on what
resilience really means to youand how to recognize when it's
time to pivot yourself towards alife that is more in tune to
your evolving values.

(01:52):
A couple of days ago I phoned afriend of mine I've met in the
last three years through amutual friend, it was lovely to
speak with her since I've beenback in the US and said, oh, hi.
She shall remain nameless ofcourse, let's meet up on Sunday.
But she said, oh, I can't onSunday.

(02:14):
Because i'm going back toEngland after 20 years.
That's it.
I think I'm done.
I'm finished.
I've done Napa, the whole winecountry.
I've done everything I needed todo.
And now it's time for me to goback home.

(02:34):
I wasn't expecting that.
I was expecting to chat with myfriend and arrange a date for
dinner at my house.
Put the world to right.
And here we are.
She's about to go back home.
I said to her, why are you goingback?
What's happened?
What have I missed since I'vebeen away?

(02:56):
She went on to share that mymom's been sick.
I need to be there for thatprocess.
I want to be around my family.
I want to be able to cook Sundayroast and have my family come
over.
I want to roam around town on adouble decker bus and take the

(03:18):
tube and have the differentfoods in the culture.
I want to be somewhere where I'monly one hour away from another
country, I wanna be able to, ifI choose, go to the south of
France for the winter months toget away from the Great Clouds
of England and just chill out.
I want the other choices, butmost of all, it's time for me to

(03:39):
give back to my family.
I've been here in the US for 20years, she said.
So I'm going back, I'm going tospend Christmas over there.
Then I'll come back and I'mpacking up the house and we are
off.
I couldn't argue with that, wehaven't known each other very

(04:01):
long, but I'm gonna miss her.
The other thing she went on tosay was corporate America is not
for the faint-hearted.
She's an excellent woman, veryclassy, highly educated, but she
said corporate America is notfor the faint hearted.

(04:25):
There's always somebody pointingout how different you are and
why you shouldn't be there,regardless of what race you
might be or the differentlanguages you speak.
But the thing is, it's not a sadstory because for the past 20
years, this excellent expatwoman has worked around it,

(04:48):
stepped over it, and conqueredit.
Now she has decided there's farmore to life than just
contending with these people.
I don't need to be an expat forthe rest of my life.
And it just reminded me that forus expat women, we are often

(05:15):
required to be so incrediblyresilient and I applaud her for
her resilience.
I love it.
I have a great deal of respectfor her choice.
She can stand up and say, i'vehad enough.
I've filled my cup.

(05:37):
I have built the house.
And now I'm going to move on.
I'm going to have a differentquality of life that suits me.
I am going to downsize and livea more minimalistic lifestyle.
I'm going to travel more andcarry less.
What I want now in life issomething new, something

(06:00):
different, I don't wanna saythat she's brave because I think
it's far more than that.
It's about honor, it's aboutduty, to give up much of what
you've acquired in the last 20years.
She's taken the essentials andher husband is with her, and

(06:21):
that's all that matters.
Here's the takeaway.
Resilience is absolutelyessential, right?
But resilience isn't just aboutenduring, it's also about
recognizing when it's time tolet go time to redefine success

(06:42):
for that next chapter of ourlives.
Knowing when it is time to stopstriving and intentionally
choose a life that honors familyculture and personal wellbeing
is absolutely priceless.
My friend is choosing to belongto her roots.
She's choosing quality overaccumulation.

(07:07):
I am using my friend'sexperience as an example of five
signs that showed up in her lifethat indicated it was time for
her to go home.
The first is an insatiablelonging for your family
connections.
You wanna be present for youraging parents, but you also miss

(07:29):
Sunday meals together with thefamily and you are looking
forward to new everyday ritualsin your original country.
The second is that cultural pulldown to the point of missing
your transport system.
If that isn't an indicator, thenI don't know what is.

(07:51):
Third is feeling done with yourlife here in the USA, a sense of
completion?
I've built the house, my cup isfilled, just like my friend
said.
Realizing that navigating yourworkplace biases and all the
other issues, it's just mentallydraining.
It can never, and will never behealthy for you.

(08:14):
Wanting simplicity, travelinglighter, valuing experiences
with your family more than youvalue accumulation.
I've got a couple of tips abouttransitioning smoothly.
The first is about planningintentionally setting yourself a
timeline.
My friend gave herself fourweeks to check out England, be

(08:37):
with the family, figure outwhere she'd want to be, and then
come back and pack things up.
There is some structure to herthinking.
The other tip is letting go ofwhat no longer serves you for
your next chapter.
And seeing this transition, notas a loss or failure, but an act

(08:59):
of duty, honor, or self respect.
For us, expat women who haveimmigrated, we spend a lot of
our time figuring out how tojump through the hoops of

(09:21):
culture shock and homesickness.
Cultural differences,experiences of loneliness and
isolation, finding the tools andstrategies to go through those
things.
The other realization for me isthat I'm going to miss somebody
that I had hoped to spend moretime with.

(09:44):
I want my friend to be happy,but I'm going to miss her.
And so there is a line ofsadness already, even though it
hasn't yet happened.
I'm already anticipating beingin the US without her presence.

(10:06):
Would you agree that resilienceis also about recognizing what
it's time to let go, what do youthink?
Drop me a comment, I would loveto hear your thoughts.
Enjoy the rest of your daybye-bye.