March 19, 2025 • 24 mins
What does “home” mean when you’ve lived in three countries, speak multiple languages, and carry your identity across borders . . . especially in a world where immigration is more than just politics, it’s deeply personal?
In this heartfelt episode, follow a journey from the U.K. to Italy and finally to America.
In this heartfelt episode, expat, wife and mother Suzanne retells her journey from the U.K. to Italy and finally to America—revealing how migration shaped her identity, resilience, and sense of belonging. Whether you're facing culture shock, homesickness, or the challenge of holding onto your heritage, her story offers hope, honesty, and inspiration for finding joy in your own path.
By listening, you’ll discover:
- How embracing multiple cultures can enrich your identity without losing your roots.
- The importance of building authentic friendships and finding your community, no matter where you land.
- Why contentment, adaptability, and celebrating small joys are keys to thriving as an immigrant woman today.
Press play now to hear a story that will remind you—you don’t have to choose between where you’re from and where you’ve arrived; you can belong to all your homes.
To share your own migration story or feedback email guest@Theplaceswecallhome.com
This compelling podcast dives into Expat and immigrant women (and men) stories. Those who immigrate to the USA, tackling the struggles of homesickness, identity crisis, and culture shock in the USA while adjusting to expat life and navigating cultural differences. Through conversations on starting over, reinventing yourself, and finding purpose, it highlights success stories of women's tenacity, and the resilience of expats in the USA. It offers insights into bicultural identity, language barriers, and the challenges of living overseas. The podcast emphasizes the importance of a strong support system and wellbeing for women in pursuit of the American dream.
https://www.instagram.com/theplaces_wecallhome
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming Homesickness,embracing cultural Differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home when we move, we
(00:24):
broaden our perspectives, engagewith new traditions and
languages, and of course itchallenges and changes our
lives.
Today we have a heartwarming andinspiring story to share with
you.
My guest is Suzanne Putnam andSuzanne is going to take us on a
journey through her life as shemoved from the UK to Italy and
(00:45):
finally settling in the UnitedStates.
And her story is a beautifultestament to the resilience and
adaptability that many of usimmigrants around the world
embody.
I was born in the UK, I was bornin Reading, near London, and
(01:08):
when I was three years old, mydad worked for a clothing
business, Simon Ackerman, and hegot transferred to Italy.
So we ended up living in Italyfor twelve years.
So we grew up in Italy, inTuscany.
It was beautiful.
We lived five minutes away fromthe beach, walking distance.
And my dad was only supposed tobe there for two years, but it
(01:28):
ended up being twelve years welived there.
And my little sister Jane, shewas born actually in Italy, in
Tuscany, in Carrara, where allthe marble comes from.
How old were you when you camehere?
I was four.
You moved straight into highschool?
Yes.
Yes, I moved straight into highschool.
Yes.
What was that like?
In the 70s?
It was very difficult.
(01:48):
Because when you've lived in acountry for so many years, and
then you move out of thecountry, you don't know anybody.
I had all my friends and mypeers, and so when I moved here,
I didn't know one person.
So it was quite hard moving toAmerica because we were from
Italy to the United States andwe always went to Italian
(02:10):
school.
My sisters and I taughtourselves how to read and write
English.
My mom homeschooled us.
Oh, really?
So we taught ourselves how toread and write.
Speaking Italian when you camehere.
Yes.
Were you completely fluent anddid you have any English
beforehand?
Yes, we spoke Italian with ourfriends in school and then we
spoke English in the home.
We were fluent in both languagesbecause I was so young when I
(02:33):
moved there.
From England to Italy.
When you say you taught yourselfEnglish, when you mean, what do
you mean?
To read.
We taught ourselves how to readand write.
You were speaking it, but youwere not reading it.
Exactly.
You were not writing it.
Yeah, so my mom would read usbedtime stories every night.
And we would always want toknow, Oh, what's going to happen
next?
So we would just pick up thebook and just put the words
(02:53):
together.
We were like five and six.
So that's how we learned how to,we learned how to read and write
ourselves.
Basically.
So your dad's job brought thefamily here.
Was it a happy move?
What was the feeling like whenyou heard, we got to move to
America?
It was the expectation.
It was exciting.
And my dad promised that hewould get us a pony.
(03:14):
So we like, there's a lot ofopportunity in America.
That's what my dad kept tellingus.
It's going to be much betterwhen we moved to America because
my grandparents would live herealso.
And we were, so we were reallyexcited because it was the land
of opportunity.
You have a lot more opportunityto grow for your careers and the
schooling is better in the U.
S.
That's why my dad wanted us tomove here, that's he made the
(03:36):
move.
But we were very excited and weknew America was beautiful,
especially Marin County, becausewe would come here as kids on
vacation and then go to MillValley.
So then we knew that we're goingto be moving to this beautiful
place close to the beach and thestill close to Tahoe.
It was an exciting time for us.
Also a little scary, because wedidn't know anybody.
But you already knew the, thearea?
(03:57):
We knew more Southern Marin MillValley where my grandparents
lived.
My dad bought a house in Novato,but we knew a little bit about
the area.
And you had all theseexpectations and these
excitements.
Yes.
It's so beautiful here.
It's such a beautiful countryand I've made so many wonderful
friends.
I've had so many opportunitiesto grow and the relationships
that I've built living here.
(04:18):
Like I said, there's so muchculture here.
You go to San Francisco, you cango to Tahoe.
There's so much to do, but, andjust meeting all our friends in
the neighborhood and the schoolthat we went to in Novato.
Our expectations were good, whatwe wanted.
So you've settled in well?
Yes.
You've not had any hiccups?
No, we did in a little bit inthe beginning just because we
didn't have any friends, but wemade friends so quickly just
(04:40):
going to school.
The neighborhood kids all downthe street.
Our house was the house that allthe kids used to come over.
We had a fun house, all the kidswould come over and have tea and
Lorna Doons.
Yes, and explain to ourlisteners what Lorna Doons is.
Lorna Doons are cooking Britishcookies that almost taste like
shortbread.
(05:01):
A little bit shortbread y, butoh, they're so good.
And we used to dip them in tea.
And all my American friends.
Love Lorna Doones.
My mom couldn't keep enoughLorna Doones.
Our house was the Lorna Doonehouse.
It sounds like life was prettyideal and the transition was
fairly straightforward for you.
(05:21):
Yes.
What would you say?
It was fairly straightforward.
It was It was a little bit nervewracking going to the school as
16 years old, not knowinganybody.
Do you think you were wellreceived?
Yes, I felt all the kids reallywelcomed us in the classroom.
Because that's so important,right?
Because it makes the experienceso much easier and it helps you
to assimilate.
(05:41):
So how would you describe lifenow?
Because I'm sure It's changedquite a lot from the 70s, not
just Marin itself, but yourplace in it.
What's that been like?
Life's good.
I've lost both my parents sincewe moved here, so it's been a
lot harder.
(06:02):
Yes.
But, um.
I've met so many wonderfulpeople here, and I'm still
friends with a lot of the highschool friends that we grew up
with in the neighborhood.
So we all keep in contact, andthere's just so many
opportunities here, so manythings to do.
So I feel like do you think thisis home or do you still think of
(06:24):
the UK as home or Italy?
I feel that it's a little bit ofboth because even though I've
lived here most of my life I'mstill so partial to England like
my blood is English blood.
Oh, and I just love the Englishculture I'm a little torn but My
goal is when I retire is I wantto travel a lot more to Europe
and maybe even spend a fewmonths in England just to live
(06:46):
that English culture because nowthat I'm an adult, I'll be able
to do that.
My son's grown, but I feel likeI have three homes, the UK and
then Italy.
And then the US when there's afascinating.
Yeah.
If there's a soccer match andit's us and Italy or UK and
Italy, it's really hard for meto you're torn.
Yes.
I'm torn, but whoever wins, I'mhappy for it.
(07:12):
So you still have family back inthe UK?
Yes.
I still have my mom's sister, myauntie topsy and her.
Husband, David, and my twonieces, and then some aunts and
uncles on my dad's side, innorthern England, in Leeds.
Because my dad was from Leeds,my mom was from Reading.
I haven't been back in a fewyears.
Oh, how long?
If you don't mind me asking.
(07:32):
It's 2004.
Okay.
Yeah, it's been a while.
When I do go on holidays, I tendto go to Italy.
A lot of my childhood memoriesare from Italy, growing up,
playing out in the streets onthe bicycles, and my best friend
Franca, we still keep incontact, and the little
neighbors from the neighborhoodthat we lived in, but it's been
(07:52):
a while, but I'm, I'm, I need, Ifeel like I need to go back to
England, like my next trip isgoing to be definitely England.
that anticipation, thatexcitement that makes you think,
Oh, my next trip has got to bebetter.
Yeah.
The first thing I want to do isgo to my great grandmother's
house in Woodley.
It's near Reading because I havefond memories of playing.
She had this beautiful home withthis beautiful rose garden and
(08:15):
the garden outdoors.
It had got rhubarb, big rhubarb,rhubarb and the leaves were huge
and we used to take the leavesand put them on his clothes.
So I really want to go see it.
Town that I grew up in as when Iwent there on holidays in my old
home that I grew up in where mysister was born My sister went
(08:35):
back to England a couple yearsago And she went to see the
house that we lived on thelakeside And then I want to go
to northern England where my dadwas from to explore I've never
been to northern England theLeeds.
Mm hmm, but definitely want togo see where my dad is from I've
never been to Leeds either.
Yeah, I've missed a lot ofnorthern England There's still a
lot for me to discover there aswell.
(08:55):
But going back to your lifehere, you're rooted here.
I'm rooted here, yes.
And you do see it as a home.
Definitely.
Yeah.
What do you think it is aboutAmerica that's kept you here?
I just love the beauty of it.
I feel like we live in abeautiful place.
And there's so much opportunityand just, my friends, I've met
(09:16):
so many good people here.
I think that why I like thisarea so much, it's because it
really reminds me a lot ofEurope.
Not England, more Italy, becauseof the lakes, Lake Tahoe, you
have the snow, because we liveclose to the Alps, so we go
skiing, but it's I feel his Butthe relationships that I've
built throughout the years,that's what keeps you, yeah,
(09:37):
people just having my son andyou meet so many people from
schools and all the sports thatyou're in.
And so you've met somebody fromAmerica.
You had a family.
You did everything here.
You were never tempted to goback to either Italy or England
or?
No, actually, no, I never.
I just was here and I just lovedit so much.
(09:59):
I didn't feel like I reallywanted to go back.
Now I feel, now as I'm older, Ifeel like I want to go back
more.
Is it because you think you'vemissed out on some stuff?
No, because I just love England.
I think I just love the Englishculture.
I love the food.
I love the people.
And when I moved here, my accentwas really strong, and I trained
(10:19):
myself to speak like Americans.
Like, I used to say, water,potato, tomato, and I'd be all,
water, water.
Like, I'd practice, because Ididn't want to be Oh, I don't
want to talk with an accent.
You didn't want to stand out.
Yeah, I didn't want to standout, so I tried to train myself
to speak more American.
Well, the funny thing is, it'sonly now, even speaking now to
(10:40):
you, I can hear a little bit ofthe twang, just a little bit,
but I hear primarily yourEnglish accent.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Maybe it's coming back to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a completely Britishaccent.
Yeah.
Let's take a little break and wewill come back with PG tips and
(11:01):
hobnob biscuits.
Okay, great.
Have you tried these?
I have not.
They look very delicious.
They're hobnob snack bars.
I've never seen them.
Oh, I haven't tried those.
Oh, they're delicious.
I love, I keep getting the samethings.
I keep the gestas andchocolates.
(11:21):
Oh, the digestives.
Yeah.
I love digestive cookies.
Yes.
I love those.
They're so good.
Do you like rich tea biscuits?
Yes.
Yes.
I love it.
Okay.
So let's get back to life inAmerica.
I get the impressions thatAmerica is the land of
opportunities and there's somuch to gain here.
If your family had stayed in theUK, it's a little bit
(11:42):
existential.
Do you think your life wouldhave?
I think about that myselfsometimes.
But I think, well, I never wouldhave met my husband, and I never
would have had the son that Ihave today, because it would
have been somebody else.
Who knows?
Maybe I may not have met anybodyin England.
But I wonder about that.
I think, as far as mypersonality, I'm the same person
(12:03):
that I would be, even inEngland.
I'd still be social, to do funthings.
Yes, I don't think that wouldmake a difference.
I think I'm the person who I amtoday because I believe in what
I believe and that's just theway I'm wired.
So I think I would still be thesame person.
I guess I'm trying to seewhether, for example, here it's
(12:24):
so much easier to go hikingbecause we have the weather for
it and we have the outdoorscenery for it.
It's so much easier to gowindsurfing.
It's easy to go surfing.
Sailing.
We have the bay.
We've got the weather for it.
Yes.
And these things are availableto A lot of people, not
everyone, I think it's moredifficult to enjoy those sort of
(12:46):
experiences that you would haveto make do with something else.
Well, with me, like I mentionedearlier that I'm a breast cancer
survivor.
So when I turned 50,congratulations, thank you.
When I was in, so 10 years agowhen I got diagnosed, I always
wondered if I was in Italy orEngland would, would I have been
diagnosed so quickly because Oh,the technology, the medical
(13:09):
advancement, the health care, isit, would it be the same there?
Would I be, luckily I got minedetected early, so I was able to
overcome it, but it's still onceyou have it.
So I always wondered if I wouldlive in England or Italy, would
I be alive today?
Would I have gone for mymammograms every year?
Would this have happened?
I don't know.
But so I think it was a blessingthat we came here.
(13:32):
I feel like I'm lucky to havebeen here when this happened to
me in America.
I feel It was meant to be thisway because my grandfather
originally moved here.
Yeah.
From England.
But he moved here because hisbrother in, had a heart
condition in England and theonly hospital that was doing
these surgeries was Stanford,and they had these pig valves
(13:53):
that they were replacing, and itwas the only place that were
doing these pig valve surgeryfor his surgery.
They flew him here in the US toStanford, and he had the surgery
that.
That's really how it allstarted, like from my
grandfather's brother movinghere because of his health
condition.
So being here in the U.
S.
saved his life.
I'm sure healthcare is great inEngland and Italy, but I don't
(14:16):
know, I always wonder that.
Maybe I wouldn't even be alivetoday.
Maybe I'd be really sick or so.
It's hard to say, but I'mcertainly glad that you move.
Yeah you work out a lot.
I also have a lot of fat to mychum chum.
But we've earned the right.
Yes, exactly.
The right.
I call it my kangaroo pout.
We have my son.
(14:37):
How old is your son?
He's 25.
See, we've earned the right.
We've earned the right to fillit.
We don't owe anybody.
Skinny.
I do feel old.
Exercise is so important foreverybody and it's a big part of
my life.
And it's so easy to do here.
Yes, it is.
The reason why I work out hardis also because they say the
reoccurring of cancer, itminimizes the reoccurrence when
you work out.
(14:57):
So the healthier you keep yourbody, obviously.
Yeah, the chances of cancerreoccurring.
Yes.
So, on a typical weekend, Whatdoes that look like?
Do you have a typical weekend?
What do you do with your time ona Saturday, on a Sunday?
How do you relax?
Where do you go to findexcitement?
Do you have a favorite thing todo, a favorite spot to go to?
(15:19):
That you would care to sharewith us.
Sure.
I always look forward toFridays.
I love Fridays and I love Fridayevenings because I love to go
home and just relax outside ofmy deck and have a glass of
wine.
I look forward to Friday.
You're in wine country.
Yes.
And yes, that's another.
So my typical weekend is Fridaysare like my favorite because
(15:42):
it's the next day Saturday and Idon't have to go to work.
Again, my husband and I willbarbecue, have dinner, or go out
to dinner.
Where do you go?
Do you have a spot?
We like to go to D'Angelo's inMill Valley.
Oh yes! Yes, we go there.
I do like it there.
We like to go to the Buckeye.
The Buckeye.
In Mill Valley.
Oh, that's just of the one.
(16:03):
Yes.
I've never been there.
Oh, it's so good.
Oh, really?
They're the best.
Oysters bingo.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Never tried them.
Do you like oysters?
Never tried them.
Oh, they're so good.
These are baked with spinach andcheese.
Oh, that I would try.
Oh, they're so delicious.
Yes.
Down the hatch.
Wobbly.
Oh yeah.
I, I do like raw oysters too,but the oysters bingo.
(16:24):
Okay.
But we like to, my husbanddoesn't like to, like I say,
drive over the bridge.
It's too far.
'cause what does San Francisco?
Yes, because then who's gonna bethe dd?
'cause he likes to have hislittle martini also mean who's
one of us can't drink becauseit's, you just never know.
And plus it's safety.
So we always we're very, uh,responsible in that way.
Nice cocktail.
Have dinner, hang out, relax.
(16:47):
Yeah.
Dolores Park or any other park.
Yeah.
Do you ever get, get up to thewine country?
I do, with my girlfriends.
We go to Healdsburg, go toRamsgate.
Ramsgate is in Sonoma, it'sanother winery, it's beautiful.
Oh, okay.
I haven't been there.
Oh, it's so nice.
Oh, I'm gonna have to go.
Yeah.
Towards Cloverdale.
Uh huh.
In that area.
So I go to a lot of wineries,love to go to wineries.
(17:10):
That's the pleasure, right?
Yes.
Do you have a wine club that yougo to?
I belong just to one wine club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, the wine's reallygood, but it's in downtown
Sonoma.
Oh, that's fine.
It's called Corner 103.
Oh.
So I get my wine therequarterly.
Oh, lovely.
But yeah.
But it's typical weekend also welove to entertain so we always
have people over for barbecue orI always have people over So my
(17:34):
sister, I'm really close to mysister Jacqueline and her
husband So we do a lot ofentertaining and go to people's
houses on He's the thing Becausethat sounds beautiful and it's
really idyllic and it'senjoyable and so it should be
right.
Life should be fully enjoyedwherever you are, but that's not
(17:55):
always possible.
No.
In so many regions andlocations, it's just not how
life is, unfortunately.
Do you try to keep anything ofyour Italian or British culture
at all?
What, what do you find yourselfdoing that's quintessentially
(18:16):
British or even perhaps Italian?
It would be through my cooking.
I make a lot of Italian food,lasagna, and sputanesca, like I
make a lot of Italian dishes.
Oh, do you now?
riso, which comes from my littletown, it's a special little tort
that you only make it in thattown.
So I think, and of course thewine, but I think that's how I,
(18:38):
and even my British culture, Itry to like, through food, like
my shepherd's pie, or I was, Ihave everything British in the
house, all the other littlethings.
WEA bakes and the Ready brickand all that.
Yeah.
Those porridges for ourlisteners.
I relate it to food.
Mm-hmm So I always eat withItalian.
It's one of my favorite foods.
(18:58):
Italian mine too.
Thai and Pasta.
Oh, and Japanese.
Yes.
Mexican friend.
Yes.
I haven't gotten into Mexicanfood.
Consider where I live.
Oh yeah.
Mexican too.
That's really odd consideringwhere I live.
I haven't got any Mexican foodyet.
Have you, do you like, do youeat it or have you just don't?
I've tried a few things but Ididn't really go for it.
(19:27):
If you could go back and do itall again, would you change
anything?
Would you change this decisionto come to America?
Would you change staying thislong in America?
I don't think I would.
Oh, I love that.
I don't think I would becauseI'm happy with my life.
(19:49):
I'm happy with my family.
Like I said, if I would haveleft, I wouldn't have met my
husband.
But if there's one thing that Iwould have changed, being
younger, I would have traveledmore.
I feel like I haven't traveledenough.
My husband doesn't really liketraveling much.
I would go to Europe every year.
Summer, every, any chance I canget.
But now that I'm older, a lot ofmy friends, our kids are in
(20:10):
college and they want to travelmore, so now we're starting to
travel more.
So, my thing is, if you don'tgo, I'm going.
Pack the bag, I'll see you intwo weeks.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's your place to go to inthe U.
S.?
Do you have one?
I like Hawaii.
I like Hawaii.
Where in Hawaii?
I like Maui a lot.
Maui and Kauai I like.
I tend to gravitate to countriesor places with beaches.
(20:34):
Because I think it's from mychildhood.
I love the sun.
I love being out and outside.
And I love beaches.
It's like my happy place.
The beach.
I do like to be, but then againI like New York.
I love going for the history andthe good restaurants and all the
fashion.
I have never, and I want totravel more in the U.
S.
Like I have never been to NewOrleans.
I've been other parts of the U.
S.
but it's just There's so much tosee here.
(20:56):
It's so vast.
It's so different.
Not just the geographics of it,the culture, the style, the
mentality from one region toanother.
It really is.
It is fascinating.
I haven't been to Yellowstone.
I've been to Yosemite.
I've been to New York.
New York reminds me a little bitof London, but I prefer London.
(21:18):
I have to say.
I've been to New Orleans.
I would love to go back.
I haven't been to Nashville.
Oh, yes.
I've been there, yes.
Have you?
Yes, it was that like?
Yeah, it was really fun.
Ah.
Yeah, a lot of, yeah, it's justfun, fun city, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I loved it there.
So, you are home.
This is home turf for you,whilst you're here.
(21:39):
Yes, yes.
Once I retire, home's gonna bein, in England and Italy too.
Yeah.
Those are my two other, my, mydream is to have a, VRBO for
three months in Italy and thenone year and then come back here
and do a house switch homes Ilove it exchange.
That's my ideal as well.
Yeah, and then Englanddefinitely I want to live I want
(22:02):
to live in England as an adultand just Soak it up.
Yeah, so good my mom really mymom if you would have been doing
this interview with my mom Shewanted to go back to England.
That was her place.
She always wanted to go back toEngland.
But to live, she yearned forEngland.
Yeah, I know she was happy here,but her heart, she really wanted
to be back in England.
That was her dream.
(22:22):
She missed England.
Because she was a lot older toowhen she moved, but she was in
her thirties.
So England to her, that was, shewould have said on the beat, go
back to England.
Yeah.
So I want to experience what mymom experiences growing up as a
young woman.
I want to experience thatculture.
Plus my Auntie Topsy's there.
Auntie Topsy.
She's like hilarious.
(22:42):
She's so much fun and energetic.
And people say, is that her realname?
Topsy.
I thought the same thing whenyou said it first.
Yeah, see, that's my mom'ssister's real name.
Oh, bless you.
So much Suzanne.
It's been fun and the time hasgone.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for giving me theopportunity.
Anytime.
(23:02):
I have had the best timerecording with my guests today
and Suzanne, I loved hearingabout your corner of the U.
S.
and for our trip down memorylane.
Before I sign off, I have fivetakeaways to share with you,
suzanne did this perfectly.
Yes, there were challenges, butthat's inevitable.
It comes with the, the, theterritory, doesn't it?
(23:26):
It's not always a hard luckstory for our kids as well as
us.
She expressed satisfaction withher decisions.
There's acceptance andcontentment, right?
Migration has and will continueto be a fundamental part of
human existence, and it changeslives.
(23:47):
We don't have to give up who weare at heart.
That we can hold on to thethings that remind us of home
and the things that connect usto our heritage, wherever we're
from.
Finding and maintaining strongcommunity connections and
authentic relationships easesthe process of being able to
(24:07):
settle in, of being able to saythat we can really truly make a
life.
I'm also thinking about the factThat where we live deeply
influences our opportunities andthe quality of life, as well as
personal and professionalgrowth.
That's a given.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
(24:28):
And if you love this episode,share the link with your friends
and leave a positive review.
Okay.
Have a nice day.
Welcome to starting over in theUSA, the Expat Woman's Guide to
overcoming Homesickness,embracing cultural Differences,
and creating a new home awayfrom home when we move, we
(00:24):
broaden our perspectives, engagewith new traditions and
languages, and of course itchallenges and changes our
lives.
Today we have a heartwarming andinspiring story to share with
you.
My guest is Suzanne Putnam andSuzanne is going to take us on a
journey through her life as shemoved from the UK to Italy and
(00:45):
finally settling in the UnitedStates.
And her story is a beautifultestament to the resilience and
adaptability that many of usimmigrants around the world
embody.
I was born in the UK, I was bornin Reading, near London, and
(01:08):
when I was three years old, mydad worked for a clothing
business, Simon Ackerman, and hegot transferred to Italy.
So we ended up living in Italyfor twelve years.
So we grew up in Italy, inTuscany.
It was beautiful.
We lived five minutes away fromthe beach, walking distance.
And my dad was only supposed tobe there for two years, but it
(01:28):
ended up being twelve years welived there.
And my little sister Jane, shewas born actually in Italy, in
Tuscany, in Carrara, where allthe marble comes from.
How old were you when you camehere?
I was four.
You moved straight into highschool?
Yes.
Yes, I moved straight into highschool.
Yes.
What was that like?
In the 70s?
It was very difficult.
(01:48):
Because when you've lived in acountry for so many years, and
then you move out of thecountry, you don't know anybody.
I had all my friends and mypeers, and so when I moved here,
I didn't know one person.
So it was quite hard moving toAmerica because we were from
Italy to the United States andwe always went to Italian
(02:10):
school.
My sisters and I taughtourselves how to read and write
English.
My mom homeschooled us.
Oh, really?
So we taught ourselves how toread and write.
Speaking Italian when you camehere.
Yes.
Were you completely fluent anddid you have any English
beforehand?
Yes, we spoke Italian with ourfriends in school and then we
spoke English in the home.
We were fluent in both languagesbecause I was so young when I
(02:33):
moved there.
From England to Italy.
When you say you taught yourselfEnglish, when you mean, what do
you mean?
To read.
We taught ourselves how to readand write.
You were speaking it, but youwere not reading it.
Exactly.
You were not writing it.
Yeah, so my mom would read usbedtime stories every night.
And we would always want toknow, Oh, what's going to happen
next?
So we would just pick up thebook and just put the words
(02:53):
together.
We were like five and six.
So that's how we learned how to,we learned how to read and write
ourselves.
Basically.
So your dad's job brought thefamily here.
Was it a happy move?
What was the feeling like whenyou heard, we got to move to
America?
It was the expectation.
It was exciting.
And my dad promised that hewould get us a pony.
(03:14):
So we like, there's a lot ofopportunity in America.
That's what my dad kept tellingus.
It's going to be much betterwhen we moved to America because
my grandparents would live herealso.
And we were, so we were reallyexcited because it was the land
of opportunity.
You have a lot more opportunityto grow for your careers and the
schooling is better in the U.
S.
That's why my dad wanted us tomove here, that's he made the
(03:36):
move.
But we were very excited and weknew America was beautiful,
especially Marin County, becausewe would come here as kids on
vacation and then go to MillValley.
So then we knew that we're goingto be moving to this beautiful
place close to the beach and thestill close to Tahoe.
It was an exciting time for us.
Also a little scary, because wedidn't know anybody.
But you already knew the, thearea?
(03:57):
We knew more Southern Marin MillValley where my grandparents
lived.
My dad bought a house in Novato,but we knew a little bit about
the area.
And you had all theseexpectations and these
excitements.
Yes.
It's so beautiful here.
It's such a beautiful countryand I've made so many wonderful
friends.
I've had so many opportunitiesto grow and the relationships
that I've built living here.
(04:18):
Like I said, there's so muchculture here.
You go to San Francisco, you cango to Tahoe.
There's so much to do, but, andjust meeting all our friends in
the neighborhood and the schoolthat we went to in Novato.
Our expectations were good, whatwe wanted.
So you've settled in well?
Yes.
You've not had any hiccups?
No, we did in a little bit inthe beginning just because we
didn't have any friends, but wemade friends so quickly just
(04:40):
going to school.
The neighborhood kids all downthe street.
Our house was the house that allthe kids used to come over.
We had a fun house, all the kidswould come over and have tea and
Lorna Doons.
Yes, and explain to ourlisteners what Lorna Doons is.
Lorna Doons are cooking Britishcookies that almost taste like
shortbread.
(05:01):
A little bit shortbread y, butoh, they're so good.
And we used to dip them in tea.
And all my American friends.
Love Lorna Doones.
My mom couldn't keep enoughLorna Doones.
Our house was the Lorna Doonehouse.
It sounds like life was prettyideal and the transition was
fairly straightforward for you.
(05:21):
Yes.
What would you say?
It was fairly straightforward.
It was It was a little bit nervewracking going to the school as
16 years old, not knowinganybody.
Do you think you were wellreceived?
Yes, I felt all the kids reallywelcomed us in the classroom.
Because that's so important,right?
Because it makes the experienceso much easier and it helps you
to assimilate.
(05:41):
So how would you describe lifenow?
Because I'm sure It's changedquite a lot from the 70s, not
just Marin itself, but yourplace in it.
What's that been like?
Life's good.
I've lost both my parents sincewe moved here, so it's been a
lot harder.
(06:02):
Yes.
But, um.
I've met so many wonderfulpeople here, and I'm still
friends with a lot of the highschool friends that we grew up
with in the neighborhood.
So we all keep in contact, andthere's just so many
opportunities here, so manythings to do.
So I feel like do you think thisis home or do you still think of
(06:24):
the UK as home or Italy?
I feel that it's a little bit ofboth because even though I've
lived here most of my life I'mstill so partial to England like
my blood is English blood.
Oh, and I just love the Englishculture I'm a little torn but My
goal is when I retire is I wantto travel a lot more to Europe
and maybe even spend a fewmonths in England just to live
(06:46):
that English culture because nowthat I'm an adult, I'll be able
to do that.
My son's grown, but I feel likeI have three homes, the UK and
then Italy.
And then the US when there's afascinating.
Yeah.
If there's a soccer match andit's us and Italy or UK and
Italy, it's really hard for meto you're torn.
Yes.
I'm torn, but whoever wins, I'mhappy for it.
(07:12):
So you still have family back inthe UK?
Yes.
I still have my mom's sister, myauntie topsy and her.
Husband, David, and my twonieces, and then some aunts and
uncles on my dad's side, innorthern England, in Leeds.
Because my dad was from Leeds,my mom was from Reading.
I haven't been back in a fewyears.
Oh, how long?
If you don't mind me asking.
(07:32):
It's 2004.
Okay.
Yeah, it's been a while.
When I do go on holidays, I tendto go to Italy.
A lot of my childhood memoriesare from Italy, growing up,
playing out in the streets onthe bicycles, and my best friend
Franca, we still keep incontact, and the little
neighbors from the neighborhoodthat we lived in, but it's been
(07:52):
a while, but I'm, I'm, I need, Ifeel like I need to go back to
England, like my next trip isgoing to be definitely England.
that anticipation, thatexcitement that makes you think,
Oh, my next trip has got to bebetter.
Yeah.
The first thing I want to do isgo to my great grandmother's
house in Woodley.
It's near Reading because I havefond memories of playing.
She had this beautiful home withthis beautiful rose garden and
(08:15):
the garden outdoors.
It had got rhubarb, big rhubarb,rhubarb and the leaves were huge
and we used to take the leavesand put them on his clothes.
So I really want to go see it.
Town that I grew up in as when Iwent there on holidays in my old
home that I grew up in where mysister was born My sister went
(08:35):
back to England a couple yearsago And she went to see the
house that we lived on thelakeside And then I want to go
to northern England where my dadwas from to explore I've never
been to northern England theLeeds.
Mm hmm, but definitely want togo see where my dad is from I've
never been to Leeds either.
Yeah, I've missed a lot ofnorthern England There's still a
lot for me to discover there aswell.
(08:55):
But going back to your lifehere, you're rooted here.
I'm rooted here, yes.
And you do see it as a home.
Definitely.
Yeah.
What do you think it is aboutAmerica that's kept you here?
I just love the beauty of it.
I feel like we live in abeautiful place.
And there's so much opportunityand just, my friends, I've met
(09:16):
so many good people here.
I think that why I like thisarea so much, it's because it
really reminds me a lot ofEurope.
Not England, more Italy, becauseof the lakes, Lake Tahoe, you
have the snow, because we liveclose to the Alps, so we go
skiing, but it's I feel his Butthe relationships that I've
built throughout the years,that's what keeps you, yeah,
(09:37):
people just having my son andyou meet so many people from
schools and all the sports thatyou're in.
And so you've met somebody fromAmerica.
You had a family.
You did everything here.
You were never tempted to goback to either Italy or England
or?
No, actually, no, I never.
I just was here and I just lovedit so much.
(09:59):
I didn't feel like I reallywanted to go back.
Now I feel, now as I'm older, Ifeel like I want to go back
more.
Is it because you think you'vemissed out on some stuff?
No, because I just love England.
I think I just love the Englishculture.
I love the food.
I love the people.
And when I moved here, my accentwas really strong, and I trained
(10:19):
myself to speak like Americans.
Like, I used to say, water,potato, tomato, and I'd be all,
water, water.
Like, I'd practice, because Ididn't want to be Oh, I don't
want to talk with an accent.
You didn't want to stand out.
Yeah, I didn't want to standout, so I tried to train myself
to speak more American.
Well, the funny thing is, it'sonly now, even speaking now to
(10:40):
you, I can hear a little bit ofthe twang, just a little bit,
but I hear primarily yourEnglish accent.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Maybe it's coming back to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a completely Britishaccent.
Yeah.
Let's take a little break and wewill come back with PG tips and
(11:01):
hobnob biscuits.
Okay, great.
Have you tried these?
I have not.
They look very delicious.
They're hobnob snack bars.
I've never seen them.
Oh, I haven't tried those.
Oh, they're delicious.
I love, I keep getting the samethings.
I keep the gestas andchocolates.
(11:21):
Oh, the digestives.
Yeah.
I love digestive cookies.
Yes.
I love those.
They're so good.
Do you like rich tea biscuits?
Yes.
Yes.
I love it.
Okay.
So let's get back to life inAmerica.
I get the impressions thatAmerica is the land of
opportunities and there's somuch to gain here.
If your family had stayed in theUK, it's a little bit
(11:42):
existential.
Do you think your life wouldhave?
I think about that myselfsometimes.
But I think, well, I never wouldhave met my husband, and I never
would have had the son that Ihave today, because it would
have been somebody else.
Who knows?
Maybe I may not have met anybodyin England.
But I wonder about that.
I think, as far as mypersonality, I'm the same person
(12:03):
that I would be, even inEngland.
I'd still be social, to do funthings.
Yes, I don't think that wouldmake a difference.
I think I'm the person who I amtoday because I believe in what
I believe and that's just theway I'm wired.
So I think I would still be thesame person.
I guess I'm trying to seewhether, for example, here it's
(12:24):
so much easier to go hikingbecause we have the weather for
it and we have the outdoorscenery for it.
It's so much easier to gowindsurfing.
It's easy to go surfing.
Sailing.
We have the bay.
We've got the weather for it.
Yes.
And these things are availableto A lot of people, not
everyone, I think it's moredifficult to enjoy those sort of
(12:46):
experiences that you would haveto make do with something else.
Well, with me, like I mentionedearlier that I'm a breast cancer
survivor.
So when I turned 50,congratulations, thank you.
When I was in, so 10 years agowhen I got diagnosed, I always
wondered if I was in Italy orEngland would, would I have been
diagnosed so quickly because Oh,the technology, the medical
(13:09):
advancement, the health care, isit, would it be the same there?
Would I be, luckily I got minedetected early, so I was able to
overcome it, but it's still onceyou have it.
So I always wondered if I wouldlive in England or Italy, would
I be alive today?
Would I have gone for mymammograms every year?
Would this have happened?
I don't know.
But so I think it was a blessingthat we came here.
(13:32):
I feel like I'm lucky to havebeen here when this happened to
me in America.
I feel It was meant to be thisway because my grandfather
originally moved here.
Yeah.
From England.
But he moved here because hisbrother in, had a heart
condition in England and theonly hospital that was doing
these surgeries was Stanford,and they had these pig valves
(13:53):
that they were replacing, and itwas the only place that were
doing these pig valve surgeryfor his surgery.
They flew him here in the US toStanford, and he had the surgery
that.
That's really how it allstarted, like from my
grandfather's brother movinghere because of his health
condition.
So being here in the U.
S.
saved his life.
I'm sure healthcare is great inEngland and Italy, but I don't
(14:16):
know, I always wonder that.
Maybe I wouldn't even be alivetoday.
Maybe I'd be really sick or so.
It's hard to say, but I'mcertainly glad that you move.
Yeah you work out a lot.
I also have a lot of fat to mychum chum.
But we've earned the right.
Yes, exactly.
The right.
I call it my kangaroo pout.
We have my son.
(14:37):
How old is your son?
He's 25.
See, we've earned the right.
We've earned the right to fillit.
We don't owe anybody.
Skinny.
I do feel old.
Exercise is so important foreverybody and it's a big part of
my life.
And it's so easy to do here.
Yes, it is.
The reason why I work out hardis also because they say the
reoccurring of cancer, itminimizes the reoccurrence when
you work out.
(14:57):
So the healthier you keep yourbody, obviously.
Yeah, the chances of cancerreoccurring.
Yes.
So, on a typical weekend, Whatdoes that look like?
Do you have a typical weekend?
What do you do with your time ona Saturday, on a Sunday?
How do you relax?
Where do you go to findexcitement?
Do you have a favorite thing todo, a favorite spot to go to?
(15:19):
That you would care to sharewith us.
Sure.
I always look forward toFridays.
I love Fridays and I love Fridayevenings because I love to go
home and just relax outside ofmy deck and have a glass of
wine.
I look forward to Friday.
You're in wine country.
Yes.
And yes, that's another.
So my typical weekend is Fridaysare like my favorite because
(15:42):
it's the next day Saturday and Idon't have to go to work.
Again, my husband and I willbarbecue, have dinner, or go out
to dinner.
Where do you go?
Do you have a spot?
We like to go to D'Angelo's inMill Valley.
Oh yes! Yes, we go there.
I do like it there.
We like to go to the Buckeye.
The Buckeye.
In Mill Valley.
Oh, that's just of the one.
(16:03):
Yes.
I've never been there.
Oh, it's so good.
Oh, really?
They're the best.
Oysters bingo.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Never tried them.
Do you like oysters?
Never tried them.
Oh, they're so good.
These are baked with spinach andcheese.
Oh, that I would try.
Oh, they're so delicious.
Yes.
Down the hatch.
Wobbly.
Oh yeah.
I, I do like raw oysters too,but the oysters bingo.
(16:24):
Okay.
But we like to, my husbanddoesn't like to, like I say,
drive over the bridge.
It's too far.
'cause what does San Francisco?
Yes, because then who's gonna bethe dd?
'cause he likes to have hislittle martini also mean who's
one of us can't drink becauseit's, you just never know.
And plus it's safety.
So we always we're very, uh,responsible in that way.
Nice cocktail.
Have dinner, hang out, relax.
(16:47):
Yeah.
Dolores Park or any other park.
Yeah.
Do you ever get, get up to thewine country?
I do, with my girlfriends.
We go to Healdsburg, go toRamsgate.
Ramsgate is in Sonoma, it'sanother winery, it's beautiful.
Oh, okay.
I haven't been there.
Oh, it's so nice.
Oh, I'm gonna have to go.
Yeah.
Towards Cloverdale.
Uh huh.
In that area.
So I go to a lot of wineries,love to go to wineries.
(17:10):
That's the pleasure, right?
Yes.
Do you have a wine club that yougo to?
I belong just to one wine club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, the wine's reallygood, but it's in downtown
Sonoma.
Oh, that's fine.
It's called Corner 103.
Oh.
So I get my wine therequarterly.
Oh, lovely.
But yeah.
But it's typical weekend also welove to entertain so we always
have people over for barbecue orI always have people over So my
(17:34):
sister, I'm really close to mysister Jacqueline and her
husband So we do a lot ofentertaining and go to people's
houses on He's the thing Becausethat sounds beautiful and it's
really idyllic and it'senjoyable and so it should be
right.
Life should be fully enjoyedwherever you are, but that's not
(17:55):
always possible.
No.
In so many regions andlocations, it's just not how
life is, unfortunately.
Do you try to keep anything ofyour Italian or British culture
at all?
What, what do you find yourselfdoing that's quintessentially
(18:16):
British or even perhaps Italian?
It would be through my cooking.
I make a lot of Italian food,lasagna, and sputanesca, like I
make a lot of Italian dishes.
Oh, do you now?
riso, which comes from my littletown, it's a special little tort
that you only make it in thattown.
So I think, and of course thewine, but I think that's how I,
(18:38):
and even my British culture, Itry to like, through food, like
my shepherd's pie, or I was, Ihave everything British in the
house, all the other littlethings.
WEA bakes and the Ready brickand all that.
Yeah.
Those porridges for ourlisteners.
I relate it to food.
Mm-hmm So I always eat withItalian.
It's one of my favorite foods.
(18:58):
Italian mine too.
Thai and Pasta.
Oh, and Japanese.
Yes.
Mexican friend.
Yes.
I haven't gotten into Mexicanfood.
Consider where I live.
Oh yeah.
Mexican too.
That's really odd consideringwhere I live.
I haven't got any Mexican foodyet.
Have you, do you like, do youeat it or have you just don't?
I've tried a few things but Ididn't really go for it.
(19:27):
If you could go back and do itall again, would you change
anything?
Would you change this decisionto come to America?
Would you change staying thislong in America?
I don't think I would.
Oh, I love that.
I don't think I would becauseI'm happy with my life.
(19:49):
I'm happy with my family.
Like I said, if I would haveleft, I wouldn't have met my
husband.
But if there's one thing that Iwould have changed, being
younger, I would have traveledmore.
I feel like I haven't traveledenough.
My husband doesn't really liketraveling much.
I would go to Europe every year.
Summer, every, any chance I canget.
But now that I'm older, a lot ofmy friends, our kids are in
(20:10):
college and they want to travelmore, so now we're starting to
travel more.
So, my thing is, if you don'tgo, I'm going.
Pack the bag, I'll see you intwo weeks.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's your place to go to inthe U.
S.?
Do you have one?
I like Hawaii.
I like Hawaii.
Where in Hawaii?
I like Maui a lot.
Maui and Kauai I like.
I tend to gravitate to countriesor places with beaches.
(20:34):
Because I think it's from mychildhood.
I love the sun.
I love being out and outside.
And I love beaches.
It's like my happy place.
The beach.
I do like to be, but then againI like New York.
I love going for the history andthe good restaurants and all the
fashion.
I have never, and I want totravel more in the U.
S.
Like I have never been to NewOrleans.
I've been other parts of the U.
S.
but it's just There's so much tosee here.
(20:56):
It's so vast.
It's so different.
Not just the geographics of it,the culture, the style, the
mentality from one region toanother.
It really is.
It is fascinating.
I haven't been to Yellowstone.
I've been to Yosemite.
I've been to New York.
New York reminds me a little bitof London, but I prefer London.
(21:18):
I have to say.
I've been to New Orleans.
I would love to go back.
I haven't been to Nashville.
Oh, yes.
I've been there, yes.
Have you?
Yes, it was that like?
Yeah, it was really fun.
Ah.
Yeah, a lot of, yeah, it's justfun, fun city, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I loved it there.
So, you are home.
This is home turf for you,whilst you're here.
(21:39):
Yes, yes.
Once I retire, home's gonna bein, in England and Italy too.
Yeah.
Those are my two other, my, mydream is to have a, VRBO for
three months in Italy and thenone year and then come back here
and do a house switch homes Ilove it exchange.
That's my ideal as well.
Yeah, and then Englanddefinitely I want to live I want
(22:02):
to live in England as an adultand just Soak it up.
Yeah, so good my mom really mymom if you would have been doing
this interview with my mom Shewanted to go back to England.
That was her place.
She always wanted to go back toEngland.
But to live, she yearned forEngland.
Yeah, I know she was happy here,but her heart, she really wanted
to be back in England.
That was her dream.
(22:22):
She missed England.
Because she was a lot older toowhen she moved, but she was in
her thirties.
So England to her, that was, shewould have said on the beat, go
back to England.
Yeah.
So I want to experience what mymom experiences growing up as a
young woman.
I want to experience thatculture.
Plus my Auntie Topsy's there.
Auntie Topsy.
She's like hilarious.
(22:42):
She's so much fun and energetic.
And people say, is that her realname?
Topsy.
I thought the same thing whenyou said it first.
Yeah, see, that's my mom'ssister's real name.
Oh, bless you.
So much Suzanne.
It's been fun and the time hasgone.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for giving me theopportunity.
Anytime.
(23:02):
I have had the best timerecording with my guests today
and Suzanne, I loved hearingabout your corner of the U.
S.
and for our trip down memorylane.
Before I sign off, I have fivetakeaways to share with you,
suzanne did this perfectly.
Yes, there were challenges, butthat's inevitable.
It comes with the, the, theterritory, doesn't it?
(23:26):
It's not always a hard luckstory for our kids as well as
us.
She expressed satisfaction withher decisions.
There's acceptance andcontentment, right?
Migration has and will continueto be a fundamental part of
human existence, and it changeslives.
(23:47):
We don't have to give up who weare at heart.
That we can hold on to thethings that remind us of home
and the things that connect usto our heritage, wherever we're
from.
Finding and maintaining strongcommunity connections and
authentic relationships easesthe process of being able to
(24:07):
settle in, of being able to saythat we can really truly make a
life.
I'm also thinking about the factThat where we live deeply
influences our opportunities andthe quality of life, as well as
personal and professionalgrowth.
That's a given.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
(24:28):
And if you love this episode,share the link with your friends
and leave a positive review.
Okay.
Have a nice day.
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