January 9, 2025 • 10 mins
A comedian's job is to be funny - even when their hometown is on fire. In this raw episode, David copes with the LA fires by sharing a recent stand-up set about his emotionally reserved father, complete with generational observations about hugging, shame, and yes, bathroom mishaps. It's a love letter to both LA and David's dad.
https://www.instagram.com/startingstandup
https://www.instagram.com/davidwalton
https://x.com/davidwalton
Email List
https://forms.gle/Xyd7Y2sLkbr5dey16
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, so I had a great show planned but I've spent the
last couple days tethered to myphone watching my beloved
former city burn, los Angeles.
I'm counting seven now, friendswho've lost their homes and
undoubtedly going to rise, andit's so sad to me.
(00:23):
Me, I do believe houses areliving things.
A lot of people respond, youknow, when you say sorry, like
it's just stuff, and I get thatsentiment.
But I very much believe thatthe walls of wherever you raise
kids and live and love in absorband they, they're kind of alive
.
And I'm just so sorry that, uh,my friends, some of them have
(00:46):
lost this member of the family,a place where they created all
these incredible memories andbeauty, and, uh, it just makes
me very sad.
So what do you do?
What do you do when you're sad?
But you got to be funny andit's a great question, because
that's what being a professionalstand-up is.
You go on tour you so manytimes and I've listened to these
(01:06):
guys talk about it when theyare not feeling it and they got
to get up on stage and entertainthe crowd because that's your
job and you got to do things,you got to pursue excellence,
and so I thought well, you knowI've got an open mic.
That was a dedication to, to myfather.
It was on his birthday in Mayit's 84th and I listened to it
(01:28):
and I like it and it's it'ssomething that made me feel good
.
It made me feel connected to mydad, who is uh, you know,
probably doesn't have a wholelot longer to live and is about
to move into an old folks homenext week, and so what better
way than a son to get on stageand rip on their own father to
(01:49):
get laughs?
No, it's not, it's not exactlylike that, but this is a
stand-up set I did as an ode tomy dad.
His name is Jay Walton and Ihope you enjoy it.
I hope it's somewhatheartwarming.
I think it was appropriate.
I hope it's appropriate, as somuch destruction and pain and
(02:11):
suffering gets unleashed on thiscity that I love.
So this episode is 100%, 1000%,dedicated to all the people in
LA who are suffering right now.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's rubbish.
Coming up to the mic is DavidWalton.
Let's give it up for DavidWalton.
Thank you everybody, good to behere.
This is a special performance.
My dad is turning 84 tomorrow,so this is a note to him.
This one's for you, dad.
(03:06):
I don't know why I just didthat.
He's not dead, but we're goinggonna keep it going.
Does anyone here have a dad whohates hugging, who finds hugging
to be very awkward?
Anyone?
Yeah, oh good, yeah, yeah, soyou get it.
Yeah, it's like a completelydifferent generation, like he's
born in 1940, it's allhandshakes.
(03:27):
It's like the generation whereyou're a boy and they're telling
you that your mom died andthey're like put your hands on
you.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
You're a good woman.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Now go play with some sticks in the woods.
You're a good kid, you knowthat kind of thing.
And so my dad really he gets soawkward, like when I was going
off to college.
My mom's a huge hugger and shewas like I don't think she'd
ever seen his hug and so she wasnot going to let him get away
with it.
When I was going off to collegeshe was watching as like a hawk
(03:57):
and it was just like.
One of the most awkward momentsof my life is you sort of inch
in with this bear of a man andhe's like and you could just see
him just going oh, we've got toget this thing over with.
And he came and we gave a bigbear hug and he just ended up
giving me the weirdest advice.
He was just like whatever youdo, don't get caught.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
And I was like all right, and then I thought about
it.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I was like that's actually pretty good advice.
I didn't get caught a lot, butit's still good advice.
I got caught a lot, yeah.
so my wife and I are like overcorrecting on the hugging thing,
we have a 10 and 11 year oldand we're over hugging.
We're hugging a ton.
My son is just like.
We call it Oreo cookies.
(04:40):
We're the cookies.
He's the sweet cream filling.
We're jumping in the milk.
It's just over the top.
And we even like double spoonthem in bed, which is which is a
problem, because they say, likekids, whatever they get used to
, they're going to want, youknow, when they're adults.
So like the vaguest odds thatmy son at age 30 turns into like
(05:03):
a of Mormon, polygamous is high, it's high, it's like 67%.
And I got a pamphlet aboutpolygamy and if you read it
carefully it does make a lot ofsense.
It really does.
Actually for multiple husbands,but I don't have enough time to
get into that.
That's going to be my next set,but I know my wife would like
(05:25):
multiple husbands.
So what else we got here?
Oh yeah, so my dad carries alot of shame and we're all
stand-ups here, so we have atremendous amount of shame as
well, and so, but I think thekids' generation, these days
they don't have enough shame.
(05:47):
It's a seesaw.
They need a little bit moreshame.
Like I came from seven kidsright, I had six siblings and
like if I did something shameful, like, let's say, I sharted or
something I would never, evertell anyone, right, I would run
to the bathroom, I would panic,you know, wash my underwear
(06:07):
Because, honestly, if any of mysiblings found out that I had
sharted, like I was Sharkboy forat least a year and a half, you
know, and being introduced tofriends and family as Sharkboy
and like, nowadays it's justvery different, like something
is happening, like the other daymy daughter is on the couch,
she's eating granola and she'slike hey dad, can you get some
(06:29):
new underwear?
I just sharted and I'm likewait, what?
What are you?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
talking about what do you mean you sharted.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
She's like I thought it was a fart, what?
Just give me my underwear.
I'm watching some super weirdanime and I'm like, no, I'm not
your fucking servant.
And then I realized, you know,because, unfortunately, like I
do know a lot about sharding,and so the key with sharding
(06:56):
really is to mimic a statue,Like you want to wait for help,
you know, and you don't want tomove.
So I went and got her theunderwear.
But it's just like you know, wereally do need more shame for
these kids.
So I started to spank them whenthey shart.
(07:16):
I'm just kidding, I don't spankthem, I don't spank them, I
really don't.
But, like I will say, like thewhole family there's four of us
we do need to gamble less.
My generation we call shardingtaking the gamble and losing and
, um, we're losing a lot in thehouse so so we need to change
that.
Um, anyway, my dad's my dad'sname's jay he's 84 tomorrow and
(07:41):
he, he definitely, like, myheart breaks from.
He needs less shame.
Like he, uh like he's way toohard on himself whenever he
sharts.
He's like, uh, you know, he'sjust like, god damn it.
God damn it, and he just walkedwaddles away.
He's like why didn't you justhold the goddamn farting idiot?
(08:02):
You know that kind of guy.
I love him to death.
Dad, this one was for you, it'syour birthday uh, if you guys
could do me a favor on the countof three, can you just say
happy birthday Jack Ready.
One, two, three.
Happy birthday Jack.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Thank you so much, Appreciateit.
Let's keep it going.
(08:25):
Keep it going.
Happy birthday to your old man.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's funny listening back to that.
There's some stuff I'm gonnatry again.
I like the not enough shame, Ithink I can expand on that.
I like that, though I think Ican make a better joke, so I
can't resist to do a littleanalysis.
I can make a better joke, uh,with the, the generation where
they tell you that your mom diedand then just tell you to go
play with a stick immediatelyafter.
I think that can be punched up.
I'll find better jokes there,but I like that bit.
(08:57):
I like talking about my dad.
I realized I did it for hisbirthday, but then you listen to
stand up and it's all.
So much of it is about yourfamily of origin, so I think
I'll expand on that.
You know, my dad is, uh, he's ahe's a funny character, so I
should be able to find some morestuff.
And then, of course, I thinkI'm batting a thousand for
(09:18):
bringing up feces in all thesefirst seven open mics.
Uh, that clearly is my passion,a fecal filiac, and maybe I
should just launch a podcastabout feces Because clearly it
needs to come out.
And then, but the shame notenough shame in children is
definitely an area that I have alot to say on.
(09:39):
And so I think I'll work onexpanding that.
And yeah, so I'm happy it wasnice to hear laughs.
It's weird when you're up thereI don't really hear them, they
don't necessarily feel like Idid well, and then I guess
that's why you record, becauseyou really get a sense that, oh,
there was, there was someenjoyment there, there was some
like genuine laughter, which isa nice feeling.
(10:03):
Thank you for being here.
I hope that made you chuckle alittle bit.
I hope that everyone stays safeand, just like the over-hugging
that I'm doing with my childrenin response to the
under-hugging I got from myfather, I do hope everybody,
rather than Veneri this week, Ihope it's just really overdo the
(10:24):
hugging.
That's it, lots of love.
Thank you for listening and Ihope to see you next week.
Bye.
Hey, so I had a great show planned but I've spent the
last couple days tethered to myphone watching my beloved
former city burn, los Angeles.
I'm counting seven now, friendswho've lost their homes and
undoubtedly going to rise, andit's so sad to me.
(00:23):
Me, I do believe houses areliving things.
A lot of people respond, youknow, when you say sorry, like
it's just stuff, and I get thatsentiment.
But I very much believe thatthe walls of wherever you raise
kids and live and love in absorband they, they're kind of alive
.
And I'm just so sorry that, uh,my friends, some of them have
(00:46):
lost this member of the family,a place where they created all
these incredible memories andbeauty, and, uh, it just makes
me very sad.
So what do you do?
What do you do when you're sad?
But you got to be funny andit's a great question, because
that's what being a professionalstand-up is.
You go on tour you so manytimes and I've listened to these
(01:06):
guys talk about it when theyare not feeling it and they got
to get up on stage and entertainthe crowd because that's your
job and you got to do things,you got to pursue excellence,
and so I thought well, you knowI've got an open mic.
That was a dedication to, to myfather.
It was on his birthday in Mayit's 84th and I listened to it
(01:28):
and I like it and it's it'ssomething that made me feel good
.
It made me feel connected to mydad, who is uh, you know,
probably doesn't have a wholelot longer to live and is about
to move into an old folks homenext week, and so what better
way than a son to get on stageand rip on their own father to
(01:49):
get laughs?
No, it's not, it's not exactlylike that, but this is a
stand-up set I did as an ode tomy dad.
His name is Jay Walton and Ihope you enjoy it.
I hope it's somewhatheartwarming.
I think it was appropriate.
I hope it's appropriate, as somuch destruction and pain and
(02:11):
suffering gets unleashed on thiscity that I love.
So this episode is 100%, 1000%,dedicated to all the people in
LA who are suffering right now.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's rubbish.
Coming up to the mic is DavidWalton.
Let's give it up for DavidWalton.
Thank you everybody, good to behere.
This is a special performance.
My dad is turning 84 tomorrow,so this is a note to him.
This one's for you, dad.
(03:06):
I don't know why I just didthat.
He's not dead, but we're goinggonna keep it going.
Does anyone here have a dad whohates hugging, who finds hugging
to be very awkward?
Anyone?
Yeah, oh good, yeah, yeah, soyou get it.
Yeah, it's like a completelydifferent generation, like he's
born in 1940, it's allhandshakes.
(03:27):
It's like the generation whereyou're a boy and they're telling
you that your mom died andthey're like put your hands on
you.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
You're a good woman.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Now go play with some sticks in the woods.
You're a good kid, you knowthat kind of thing.
And so my dad really he gets soawkward, like when I was going
off to college.
My mom's a huge hugger and shewas like I don't think she'd
ever seen his hug and so she wasnot going to let him get away
with it.
When I was going off to collegeshe was watching as like a hawk
(03:57):
and it was just like.
One of the most awkward momentsof my life is you sort of inch
in with this bear of a man andhe's like and you could just see
him just going oh, we've got toget this thing over with.
And he came and we gave a bigbear hug and he just ended up
giving me the weirdest advice.
He was just like whatever youdo, don't get caught.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
And I was like all right, and then I thought about
it.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I was like that's actually pretty good advice.
I didn't get caught a lot, butit's still good advice.
I got caught a lot, yeah.
so my wife and I are like overcorrecting on the hugging thing,
we have a 10 and 11 year oldand we're over hugging.
We're hugging a ton.
My son is just like.
We call it Oreo cookies.
(04:40):
We're the cookies.
He's the sweet cream filling.
We're jumping in the milk.
It's just over the top.
And we even like double spoonthem in bed, which is which is a
problem, because they say, likekids, whatever they get used to
, they're going to want, youknow, when they're adults.
So like the vaguest odds thatmy son at age 30 turns into like
(05:03):
a of Mormon, polygamous is high, it's high, it's like 67%.
And I got a pamphlet aboutpolygamy and if you read it
carefully it does make a lot ofsense.
It really does.
Actually for multiple husbands,but I don't have enough time to
get into that.
That's going to be my next set,but I know my wife would like
(05:25):
multiple husbands.
So what else we got here?
Oh yeah, so my dad carries alot of shame and we're all
stand-ups here, so we have atremendous amount of shame as
well, and so, but I think thekids' generation, these days
they don't have enough shame.
(05:47):
It's a seesaw.
They need a little bit moreshame.
Like I came from seven kidsright, I had six siblings and
like if I did something shameful, like, let's say, I sharted or
something I would never, evertell anyone, right, I would run
to the bathroom, I would panic,you know, wash my underwear
(06:07):
Because, honestly, if any of mysiblings found out that I had
sharted, like I was Sharkboy forat least a year and a half, you
know, and being introduced tofriends and family as Sharkboy
and like, nowadays it's justvery different, like something
is happening, like the other daymy daughter is on the couch,
she's eating granola and she'slike hey dad, can you get some
(06:29):
new underwear?
I just sharted and I'm likewait, what?
What are you?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
talking about what do you mean you sharted.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
She's like I thought it was a fart, what?
Just give me my underwear.
I'm watching some super weirdanime and I'm like, no, I'm not
your fucking servant.
And then I realized, you know,because, unfortunately, like I
do know a lot about sharding,and so the key with sharding
(06:56):
really is to mimic a statue,Like you want to wait for help,
you know, and you don't want tomove.
So I went and got her theunderwear.
But it's just like you know, wereally do need more shame for
these kids.
So I started to spank them whenthey shart.
(07:16):
I'm just kidding, I don't spankthem, I don't spank them, I
really don't.
But, like I will say, like thewhole family there's four of us
we do need to gamble less.
My generation we call shardingtaking the gamble and losing and
, um, we're losing a lot in thehouse so so we need to change
that.
Um, anyway, my dad's my dad'sname's jay he's 84 tomorrow and
(07:41):
he, he definitely, like, myheart breaks from.
He needs less shame.
Like he, uh like he's way toohard on himself whenever he
sharts.
He's like, uh, you know, he'sjust like, god damn it.
God damn it, and he just walkedwaddles away.
He's like why didn't you justhold the goddamn farting idiot?
(08:02):
You know that kind of guy.
I love him to death.
Dad, this one was for you, it'syour birthday uh, if you guys
could do me a favor on the countof three, can you just say
happy birthday Jack Ready.
One, two, three.
Happy birthday Jack.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Thank you so much, Appreciateit.
Let's keep it going.
(08:25):
Keep it going.
Happy birthday to your old man.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's funny listening back to that.
There's some stuff I'm gonnatry again.
I like the not enough shame, Ithink I can expand on that.
I like that, though I think Ican make a better joke, so I
can't resist to do a littleanalysis.
I can make a better joke, uh,with the, the generation where
they tell you that your mom diedand then just tell you to go
play with a stick immediatelyafter.
I think that can be punched up.
I'll find better jokes there,but I like that bit.
(08:57):
I like talking about my dad.
I realized I did it for hisbirthday, but then you listen to
stand up and it's all.
So much of it is about yourfamily of origin, so I think
I'll expand on that.
You know, my dad is, uh, he's ahe's a funny character, so I
should be able to find some morestuff.
And then, of course, I thinkI'm batting a thousand for
(09:18):
bringing up feces in all thesefirst seven open mics.
Uh, that clearly is my passion,a fecal filiac, and maybe I
should just launch a podcastabout feces Because clearly it
needs to come out.
And then, but the shame notenough shame in children is
definitely an area that I have alot to say on.
(09:39):
And so I think I'll work onexpanding that.
And yeah, so I'm happy it wasnice to hear laughs.
It's weird when you're up thereI don't really hear them, they
don't necessarily feel like Idid well, and then I guess
that's why you record, becauseyou really get a sense that, oh,
there was, there was someenjoyment there, there was some
like genuine laughter, which isa nice feeling.
(10:03):
Thank you for being here.
I hope that made you chuckle alittle bit.
I hope that everyone stays safeand, just like the over-hugging
that I'm doing with my childrenin response to the
under-hugging I got from myfather, I do hope everybody,
rather than Veneri this week, Ihope it's just really overdo the
(10:24):
hugging.
That's it, lots of love.
Thank you for listening and Ihope to see you next week.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com