February 13, 2025 • 24 mins
The episode provides a fascinating glimpse into the creative process, showing how raw life experiences transform into structured comedy bits through careful crafting and refinement. David's vulnerability and willingness to expose his inner conflicts offer both entertainment and insight into the therapeutic potential of stand-up comedy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Starting stand-up is what happens when you point a
microphone at a midlife crisis.
Hi, I'm David Walton and after20 years as a TV and film actor,
I'm sharing the messy,uncensored journey of learning
stand-up comedy, from bombing atopen mics to questioning every
life decision that led me here.
It's part comedy workshop, parttherapy session and, most
(00:21):
certainly, career suicide.
Please enjoy oh man, that'srubbish.
(00:46):
That's rubbish.
Here's the update.
We had a great event happenlast week.
We did our first stand-up set.
That really felt like a realstand-up set and got immediately
rewarded, as the hosts of theopen mic invited me to do their
particular shows for a payingaudience.
Of course I will do those.
(01:07):
One of the things that theyasked after is how much material
do I have?
Do you have 10 minutes?
That's sort of a normalstarting point and I don't have
10 minutes.
That last open mic was aboutsix minutes.
I'm working on something.
I'm making a lot of progressreally quickly and it's very
exciting.
What's happened today inparticular is that I realized
(01:30):
that I can't I'm not at thepoint in stand-up where, like
I'll get fulfillment by makingjokes about like airplanes Phase
I'm in of stand-up is stand-upas free therapy where I have
poison.
We all have just poison, and Iuse this to figure out what the
(01:54):
poison is, what I think, get itout, just get it out of me, and
then figure out a way to make itsomething I can perform.
I got sent a video of Ocho Sco,who is an NFL receiver,
beautiful black man, and he's onthe Stephen A Smith podcast
talking about how he was with agirl and she said go deeper.
(02:14):
And his peepee couldn't go anydeeper.
And this, this video, is beyondfunny.
But this man and then he admits, ochoo cinco admits that he got
corrective surgeries because hedoesn't want to be embarrassed
wearing a speedo, but he saidsomething after he goes look I,
I don't have anything to hideand steven, a smith was just
(02:35):
looking at him in abject horrorand shock.
Anyway, ocho cinco's rawhonesty and openness was
jaw-dropping and, frankly,inspiring, and it's inspiring me
, to be honest, not about mydick, that's not the issue,
although if someone knows OchoCinco's doctor, please share the
number.
Something else what the deeperissue is that I'm the poison, if
(02:58):
you will, that that I'mstruggling with in life.
I'm feeling pretty lost in mylife.
This is there, seems to be thislike deep conflict I have
between wanting to like go onmeditation, silent retreats
where I where I've gone and feltprofound peace, just meditating
(03:19):
, letting go, wanting to go onspiritual adventures.
And then there's the other side, which is just the crushing
stress of life and keeping mykids nurtured, educated, fed and
clean, keeping my relationshipswith my wife and my family and
my friends nurtured, keeping myacting career going.
I differentiate between living,which is kind of this act of
(03:40):
just like errands, surviving,like yeah, we're just living,
like all this stuff washingdishes, and then this idea of
life, which I consider this verysacred thing.
It's flippant to say midlifecrisis, but it's a profound and
and common thing, the best way Ican say it.
It's almost like I feel like Iam living the wants and desires
(04:02):
of someone who is no longeraround.
Like, ultimately, I got into, Idecided to become an actor.
It just seemed prettystraightforward.
Like I left Brown for New Yorkand tried to make it.
But now, almost 25 years later,I'm still on that wave.
I'm still out at sea, likepaddling around on the surfboard
, I'm floating and I'm wonderinglike wait, should I be going to
(04:23):
shore?
Not that I even want to stopacting, but the industry has
changed so much.
The money's not what it used tobe, the projects are fewer and
farther between.
So I feel like I'm on theprecipice of this big change,
but I'm still lost.
I'm lost and I really wantstand up to help me work through
that lostness.
One of the things that is apremise that we're going to on
(04:45):
today is is the expo thisprofound draw I have towards
spirituality.
But as much as I study andmeditate and teach, in many ways
I'm just becoming more aware ofwhat a complete and total
degenerate I am and and howflawed I am and how just I don't
(05:05):
have my shit together At themoment.
The placeholder is people thinkmindfulness makes you more
enlightened.
No, it just makes you fullyaware of what a disaster you are
.
And then I'll get into thelaughs.
But let's open up the hood, allright.
So here we are.
Now we kind of have these fourpremises that have been arising
(05:27):
through almost like a therapysession.
I recorded a phone conversationI had with a mentor of mine, an
older wise man, and it's alwaysextremely deep.
He's a very deep man, he has alot to say and I can tell him
kind of anything.
I sometimes avoid conversationswith him because I know they're
going to be heavy, but what'sreally fascinating and has been
(05:52):
swirling around in my mind isthat the deeper something is,
that, the deeper something isthat, the more profound it is to
you and true to you, the morepotential there is for comedy.
I took the transcript of, I gotpermission, I recorded my
conversation, which isessentially a therapy
conversation, and then I pluggedit into my trusty AI.
(06:14):
It's a 40 minute conversation.
There's a lot there and I didall the edits and I got it
really tight so it knows exactlywho was saying what.
And then I asked it to kind ofwell, I originally wanted to
just ask it to help me sortthrough stuff, almost like like
a, like a really good therapistwould like showing you, giving
you insights, distilling some ofyour thoughts, giving you more
(06:37):
clarity, words, framing yourproblems and, in more precise
language.
Actually, actually, it was avery serious conversation.
I said is there anything inhere that has comedic potential?
And it was wild, it was crazywhat it busted out, which I'll
share with you right now.
So there were four premises thatI thought I'm going to explore
that came out of this 40-minuteconversation.
(06:59):
There was one where came out ofthis 40 minute conversation.
There was one where Jim askedme what would I do if I couldn't
act, and I talked about how Iwas sort of envying like the
tree trimmers who just chainsawthe fallen trees around my
neighborhood, or theseelectricians who came in to fix
a socket that had gone out inour house, and I was just like I
(07:19):
was envious of not only likethe nine to five job where
you're like cruising around,you're out in the world, you're,
you're working with thephysical world, you're not up in
your head, and I was.
I was just sort of telling himthat I I wonder sometimes if I'm
just gonna retire to some ruralarea and become an electrician
or something.
And then Claude, the AI waslike your envy of electricians
(07:43):
and trades people is rich comedyterritory.
You could explore the irony ofspending years trying to be
special in hollywood only tofind yourself jealous of guys
who just actually fix things.
The bit could contrast the fakeproblems of entertainment, like
my character's motivation isn'tclear, with real problems, like
Like my house is on literallyon fire.
There's something there.
(08:06):
There's another one which Iended up really exploring, which
is religious experiences inmodern life, and that's the
contrast between having profoundspiritual experiences and then
coming home to take out garbagecans and just losing my shit.
I had a story, which I'llfigure out how to tell this In a
comedic way, but it was asclose as I have come to Jack
(08:29):
Nicholson and the Shining In mysix years in Maine.
It was like pulling my garbagecans A quarter mile through like
heavy snow and just being soangry about it, like totally
unreasonably raging like I was,like I completely lost my mind
and no one was around.
I was just fuming.
(08:50):
And then I get, I get home, I'mtrying to tire the anger out,
like I'm pulling these thingsand I say I'm not gonna stop.
I basically wanted to like dieon the ground after pulling them
.
And then I get inside I stillhave all this rage and I drink a
glass of orange juice and itall goes away.
(09:10):
It's just like perfect moodagain.
So it's like the realizationthat I think I'm having this
existential crisis, but reallyI'm just a fucking toddler that
needed some juice.
I need some juice juice andthat's a rich experience,
because there's so much of thatat this stage of life.
Just like and I think it's oneof the downfalls of of sort of
(09:31):
going into spiritual stuff isthat everything becomes, I don't
know, like, like meaningful,you know, and, and sometimes
your blood sugar just plummetsand you just pissed and that's
it and there's no other nothingelse to it.
Um, anyway, those are a couple.
There was some more that I thatthat might be there, but those
were the two that.
(09:52):
So then I, I put a little pinin the electrician thing.
Um, well, that could be goodmaterial for Maine, you know,
maine centric material.
Um, but then I, then I said Iinstructed the AI to ask me
questions.
I said I want to do this spirit, this trying to figure out this
, the balance between spirituallife and and and this premise of
(10:13):
of there's this battle betweenthe kind of aspirations for
becoming an enlightened beingwho's like just wide open, like
a Dalai Lama, versus the reality, boots on the ground, which is
that I'm a mess and there's noway I'm ever going to become the
Dalai Lama.
And so we leaned into thisshining snow rage moment and the
(10:38):
AI started asking me questions.
It said, when you say you lostit in the snow, what
specifically were you doing?
Were you yelling, throwingthings?
Paint me the physical pictureof what someone would have seen
if they were watching and Iwrote I was screaming like Jack
does in the main at the end ofthe movie Guttural animal
screams cursing myself and mylife.
It was so tiring as it's like aquarter mile trek out to the
(10:58):
street.
But I was.
I was trying to tire out therage as if the rage was a beast
to be slain by pure exhaustion.
And it didn't work.
I got home and I was stillpissed, and then I had some food
and was fine.
It was literally just a sugarcrash like a hungry toddler.
Um, and then.
And then it asks what's thecontrast between this moment and
how you present yourself in themeditation sessions?
What kind of things do youtypically say when leading
(11:21):
meditation?
And I said in meditation Iliterally just try to get people
to open their hearts and lovethemselves and each other and
love every single thing thatarises in them, whether it's
pleasant or unpleasant.
And I'm still and I use a sortof a quiet voice.
And then it asked before thesnow incident, had there been
other moments where yourspiritual persona and your rage?
(11:42):
I love the AI is calling itrage persona, my rage persona
clashed.
Any funny instances of tryingto be Zen and failing miserably.
Um, but it really liked the,the, the computer really liked
the hungry, hungry toddler.
Comparison Um, do you see anyother parallels between your
(12:02):
spiritual journey and toddlerbehavior?
I thought that was a good umquestion.
Yeah, I did a very sort ofnon-comedic thing about anger,
like it's it's not bad orsomething to suppress, it's just
a problem when it's directed atothers and it's when it's used
to harm others, but ultimatelyis very energizing and can bring
you to skillful action, as Isay, and deep realizations about
(12:25):
all sorts of things yourboundaries, your wounds and
ultimately, anger is almostalways a response to being hurt
or being afraid.
And then it really like the.
I had talked about this idea ofum watching my son who this
idea of my son will like bumphis head or his shoulder on a
door frame and like slow playhis revenge.
(12:47):
He'll be like and then he'll goback into the tool closet and
like grab a hammer and then like, come back to the door and
start like talking to the doorand being like threatening the
door and and really just likethis door is alive.
My son is 11.
You know this isn't a tinychild.
He's just like door, you'regonna get fucked.
(13:09):
Now you're, you made yourmistake and obviously the door
has never moved.
This is 100 my son's fault.
And I try not to laugh when Iwatch this and I'm, and I'm,
charmed by it.
I'm sometimes, but I'm lookingat it like, oh, look at this
young child learning how toprocess his anger.
And then, three or four hourslater, I'm like stacking wood,
(13:32):
you know, and a piece of woodfalls on my hand and without
irony and with just awareness ofthe rage, but nothing else, I
take the piece of wood and Istart bashing it against other
wood and I end up taking an axeand being like you're gonna be
kindling bitch and I just liketake out my anger on the wood.
(13:53):
Point.
Being my son and I, there's nodifference, except that I'm it's
way more pathetic because I'm46 and he's 11.
And that's how we kind of foundthis idea of what would my life
be like if I didn't do all thismeditation and stuff.
And you can never answer that,but I, but I think I would.
I think it's helped a lot andbeing a better parent, and I
(14:19):
think it's helped a lot andbeing a better parent and, uh,
friend, husband, just awareness,etc.
Um, but then I was like I don'tknow.
And then we kind of I came upwith this thing like oh yeah,
mindfulness, my the doubt thatmaybe all this awareness is
doesn't mean jack squat, likeall your awareness is getting
you is just being aware of whata dick you are, and that really
like was like a cracking open ofsomething and I got real.
(14:42):
The heart started going pitterpatter and I was like so then we
started getting questions likewhat's the most ridiculous
realization you've had whilebeing mindful, like a moment
where you're fully aware of howabsurd you're being, but you're
still doing it anyway.
And um, and that's where youknow, fully aware of how absurd
you're being, but you're stilldoing it anyway, and that's
(15:04):
where you know.
It was like it sort of burstout all the things that I've
been thinking about, that I evenhave done, like that you can be
mindful while snorting cocaine.
And so we started to use thatidea of like progression and
trying to get things moving,building I did a bunch of
different options for sort ofmindful of dark things.
You know, maybe it's mindfullyplaying powerball, gambling,
(15:26):
playing ripping a cigarette,just any vice really.
That that's true.
To me it's that, it's thatcombination of the sacred and
the profane together, and thenwe kind of figured out like,
okay, let's do this as a, let'sdo this as a meditation, much
like I did mindfulness ofcocaine.
Already that episode, if youhaven't seen that episode,
you'll see it.
Mindfulness of cocaine.
Maybe it's like episode 11.
(15:49):
I did it on christmas, goodlord, but anyway, um so.
So this is basically all thathas led to this, and this is all
in a day, and so I'm I'mexcited, I think there's
something here.
I'm going to test it out in anopen mic, so I'll think it's
funny, I'll go and it probablywon't get that many laughs at
(16:10):
certain times, but somethingwill.
And then we'll keep, we'll keepworking on it, and I think
that's once we have a premisethat's hot.
Let's say that's got the tickle, like we got.
You got to stick with it, yougot to mine it.
You know, you can't, you, you,you gotta, you gotta stick with
what feels the best.
And then, and don't just keepsearching for the next shiny
object, let's, let's wring itdry, and so, um.
(16:34):
So we had a bunch of premises.
Like you know, mindfulnessdoesn't work or all it makes you
is aware of, and then we hadyou know you can be mindful
about anything mindfully badseries, let's call it then, this
sort of inanimate object rage.
Um, there was another thing ofjust like you know, you come
back from a silent retreat forseven days and, like for four
(16:57):
hours you're just like, oh yeah,I'm amazing, I'm so present
with my kids.
This is like magic.
And then, like you know,something happens and you're
like, oh no, and then you goback to being a fucking asshole.
Yeah, so we started playingwith like, we started playing
with how to set it up, you know.
And then I got on my feet and Idid a thing.
A lot of times you write it andthen you're like it's, this
(17:19):
doesn't feel natural coming outof my mouth.
But, um, yeah, we had a thing oflike, we were looking for the
contrast, like what's the mostzen thing I say in a meditation
session and what's the mostunzen thing you do?
That I've done while beingcompletely aware of doing it and
though that's where the that'sthe engine for this particular
(17:41):
bit.
So something I'll say in a, ina meditation I'm leading, is
like, oh, let's, you know,dissolve your awareness into a
cloud of boundaryless space,letting all sensations, thoughts
and feelings arise and fallaway like waves in the ocean.
And then I'll take my son'snunchuck and beat a couch pillow
with it 50 to 60 times, whilepretending the pillow is my mom.
(18:02):
No, I'm just kidding mom, andI've never done that.
I'm just saying, you know,pretending the pillow is, you
know my enemy.
Um, as you breathe in, gentlynote breathing in.
And as you breathe out gentlynote breathing out cover the
breath in this way, with yourattention, mindfully pressing
your boner into your wife's sideto let you know, let her know
that you're ready to party.
(18:27):
So, yeah, so then we basicallybuilt, we tried to do a build up
.
So there were four kind ofsituations that are true and
relatable.
One is like paying attention toyour kids when they're telling
you the plot of a movie.
Pretend you know whiteknuckling, the listening, when
you really, really, really don'talready know the plot.
First of all.
Second of all, they'recompletely torturing the plot
(18:50):
and you're just having to lookat them and act like you
actually care.
So that's a good, it feels likea relatable moment.
And then the moment of liketelling your kids you're doing
work on your phone, but you'rereally like placing a $3 parlay
bed on DraftKings.
That feels like a relatablemoment for parents.
And then, as you build it, youcan maybe go the emotion like
(19:12):
the nunchucks, build that intoit, and then finally, of course,
my favorite, which is this ideaof mindfully doing cocaine.
So, without further ado, hereis my set after all this work,
and then we'll finish up, okay.
Okay, let's find a positionthat's both comfortable and
(19:32):
alert.
Take a few deep, cleansingbreaths, dissolving into a cloud
of boundless awareness, lettingsounds, sensations, thoughts
and feelings arise and fall awaylike waves on the sea.
That's a really lovely way howI start my weekly meditation
sessions, and I think most of myclass would be surprised to
(19:54):
know what I'm actually like inmy house, because I am mindful,
but I'm just mindful of what adisaster I am.
So this is how I bring peacefulawareness to a lot of the
moments of my life.
Life let's bring, david.
(20:22):
Bring loving awareness to thesound of your child's voice
becoming more and more distantas you imagine life without them
and you feel the relief andpeace that emerges with thoughts
of a silent house, as yourchild describes each character
(20:45):
from Moana.
Observe the growing certaintythat you were never meant to be
a parent.
Mindfulness of sports you know,I'm super aware of sports and
my love of it.
Gently notice the excitementarising as you hide your phone
under the dinner table and feelthe pitter-patter of your heart
(21:07):
as you place your seventh $3parlay of the day.
Let awareness rest on thegentle tap-t taparoo of your
finger placing bets and noticehow skillfully you've learned to
nod at your children whilestudying the point spread of the
(21:28):
Celtics-Mavericks game, whilestudying the point spread of
Israeli soccer leagues.
I don't know there's somethingfunnier there Mindfulness of
emotional processing.
Let's bring that's how you know, whenever I feel a deep, you
(21:49):
know painful emotion, I just amaware let's bring gentle
awareness to the satisfyingwhoosh of your son's nunchuck
through the air.
As you hammer the pillow,notice the sophisticated way
your mind transforms thispottery barn.
(22:13):
Throw pillow into the face ofpeople who have wronged you.
Pottery barn, throw pillow intothe face of people who have
wronged you.
And finally, when I'm preppinga party, a really fun party at
the house, I'm mindful theentire time bringing awareness
(22:36):
to the sacred geometry ofcocaine powder.
Let gratitude arise for theColombian farmers who made this
moment possible and notice theever so subtle rationalization
that because you paid for it,you deserve the biggest line.
Hey, we made it to the end ofanother episode.
Yay, honestly, if you're hereat the end, you really are my
(22:57):
comedy buddy and I.
We made it to the end ofanother episode.
Yay, honestly, if you're hereat the end, you really are my
comedy buddy, and I've said itbefore, send me your jokes.
The door is open.
I love it.
I've been collaborating with acouple people.
It's so fun and, you know, I'veintroduced some new premises.
If this sparks some ideas, reachout to me on Instagram, at
startingstanduppod, at gmail ortext me if you've got my number.
(23:18):
I love it.
I love it.
I want more comedy buddies.
I'm so alone.
I'm so alone.
Also, if anyone you think wouldresonate with this material, we
kind of went from soup to nutshere.
We kind of went.
We did a complete episode underthe hood and if you think
someone would find thatfascinating especially if you
(23:39):
know people getting into comedyor people who are maybe thinking
about trying something, uh,maybe they'd find value from
this if you think they'd findvalue, go ahead and share or
rate it, leave a review, dothose sort of things that
everyone asks for like andsubscribe.
Man, good lord, it's likebaby's first words these days.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
(23:59):
I wish you so much love, somuch peace, so much adventure
and, of course, just beautiful,beautiful, life-changing,
earth-shattering venery untilnext thursday.
Bye, thank you.
Starting stand-up is what happens when you point a
microphone at a midlife crisis.
Hi, I'm David Walton and after20 years as a TV and film actor,
I'm sharing the messy,uncensored journey of learning
stand-up comedy, from bombing atopen mics to questioning every
life decision that led me here.
It's part comedy workshop, parttherapy session and, most
(00:21):
certainly, career suicide.
Please enjoy oh man, that'srubbish.
(00:46):
That's rubbish.
Here's the update.
We had a great event happenlast week.
We did our first stand-up set.
That really felt like a realstand-up set and got immediately
rewarded, as the hosts of theopen mic invited me to do their
particular shows for a payingaudience.
Of course I will do those.
(01:07):
One of the things that theyasked after is how much material
do I have?
Do you have 10 minutes?
That's sort of a normalstarting point and I don't have
10 minutes.
That last open mic was aboutsix minutes.
I'm working on something.
I'm making a lot of progressreally quickly and it's very
exciting.
What's happened today inparticular is that I realized
(01:30):
that I can't I'm not at thepoint in stand-up where, like
I'll get fulfillment by makingjokes about like airplanes Phase
I'm in of stand-up is stand-upas free therapy where I have
poison.
We all have just poison, and Iuse this to figure out what the
(01:54):
poison is, what I think, get itout, just get it out of me, and
then figure out a way to make itsomething I can perform.
I got sent a video of Ocho Sco,who is an NFL receiver,
beautiful black man, and he's onthe Stephen A Smith podcast
talking about how he was with agirl and she said go deeper.
(02:14):
And his peepee couldn't go anydeeper.
And this, this video, is beyondfunny.
But this man and then he admits, ochoo cinco admits that he got
corrective surgeries because hedoesn't want to be embarrassed
wearing a speedo, but he saidsomething after he goes look I,
I don't have anything to hideand steven, a smith was just
(02:35):
looking at him in abject horrorand shock.
Anyway, ocho cinco's rawhonesty and openness was
jaw-dropping and, frankly,inspiring, and it's inspiring me
, to be honest, not about mydick, that's not the issue,
although if someone knows OchoCinco's doctor, please share the
number.
Something else what the deeperissue is that I'm the poison, if
(02:58):
you will, that that I'mstruggling with in life.
I'm feeling pretty lost in mylife.
This is there, seems to be thislike deep conflict I have
between wanting to like go onmeditation, silent retreats
where I where I've gone and feltprofound peace, just meditating
(03:19):
, letting go, wanting to go onspiritual adventures.
And then there's the other side, which is just the crushing
stress of life and keeping mykids nurtured, educated, fed and
clean, keeping my relationshipswith my wife and my family and
my friends nurtured, keeping myacting career going.
I differentiate between living,which is kind of this act of
(03:40):
just like errands, surviving,like yeah, we're just living,
like all this stuff washingdishes, and then this idea of
life, which I consider this verysacred thing.
It's flippant to say midlifecrisis, but it's a profound and
and common thing, the best way Ican say it.
It's almost like I feel like Iam living the wants and desires
(04:02):
of someone who is no longeraround.
Like, ultimately, I got into, Idecided to become an actor.
It just seemed prettystraightforward.
Like I left Brown for New Yorkand tried to make it.
But now, almost 25 years later,I'm still on that wave.
I'm still out at sea, likepaddling around on the surfboard
, I'm floating and I'm wonderinglike wait, should I be going to
(04:23):
shore?
Not that I even want to stopacting, but the industry has
changed so much.
The money's not what it used tobe, the projects are fewer and
farther between.
So I feel like I'm on theprecipice of this big change,
but I'm still lost.
I'm lost and I really wantstand up to help me work through
that lostness.
One of the things that is apremise that we're going to on
(04:45):
today is is the expo thisprofound draw I have towards
spirituality.
But as much as I study andmeditate and teach, in many ways
I'm just becoming more aware ofwhat a complete and total
degenerate I am and and howflawed I am and how just I don't
(05:05):
have my shit together At themoment.
The placeholder is people thinkmindfulness makes you more
enlightened.
No, it just makes you fullyaware of what a disaster you are
.
And then I'll get into thelaughs.
But let's open up the hood, allright.
So here we are.
Now we kind of have these fourpremises that have been arising
(05:27):
through almost like a therapysession.
I recorded a phone conversationI had with a mentor of mine, an
older wise man, and it's alwaysextremely deep.
He's a very deep man, he has alot to say and I can tell him
kind of anything.
I sometimes avoid conversationswith him because I know they're
going to be heavy, but what'sreally fascinating and has been
(05:52):
swirling around in my mind isthat the deeper something is,
that, the deeper something isthat, the more profound it is to
you and true to you, the morepotential there is for comedy.
I took the transcript of, I gotpermission, I recorded my
conversation, which isessentially a therapy
conversation, and then I pluggedit into my trusty AI.
(06:14):
It's a 40 minute conversation.
There's a lot there and I didall the edits and I got it
really tight so it knows exactlywho was saying what.
And then I asked it to kind ofwell, I originally wanted to
just ask it to help me sortthrough stuff, almost like like
a, like a really good therapistwould like showing you, giving
you insights, distilling some ofyour thoughts, giving you more
(06:37):
clarity, words, framing yourproblems and, in more precise
language.
Actually, actually, it was avery serious conversation.
I said is there anything inhere that has comedic potential?
And it was wild, it was crazywhat it busted out, which I'll
share with you right now.
So there were four premises thatI thought I'm going to explore
that came out of this 40-minuteconversation.
(06:59):
There was one where came out ofthis 40 minute conversation.
There was one where Jim askedme what would I do if I couldn't
act, and I talked about how Iwas sort of envying like the
tree trimmers who just chainsawthe fallen trees around my
neighborhood, or theseelectricians who came in to fix
a socket that had gone out inour house, and I was just like I
(07:19):
was envious of not only likethe nine to five job where
you're like cruising around,you're out in the world, you're,
you're working with thephysical world, you're not up in
your head, and I was.
I was just sort of telling himthat I I wonder sometimes if I'm
just gonna retire to some ruralarea and become an electrician
or something.
And then Claude, the AI waslike your envy of electricians
(07:43):
and trades people is rich comedyterritory.
You could explore the irony ofspending years trying to be
special in hollywood only tofind yourself jealous of guys
who just actually fix things.
The bit could contrast the fakeproblems of entertainment, like
my character's motivation isn'tclear, with real problems, like
Like my house is on literallyon fire.
There's something there.
(08:06):
There's another one which Iended up really exploring, which
is religious experiences inmodern life, and that's the
contrast between having profoundspiritual experiences and then
coming home to take out garbagecans and just losing my shit.
I had a story, which I'llfigure out how to tell this In a
comedic way, but it was asclose as I have come to Jack
(08:29):
Nicholson and the Shining In mysix years in Maine.
It was like pulling my garbagecans A quarter mile through like
heavy snow and just being soangry about it, like totally
unreasonably raging like I was,like I completely lost my mind
and no one was around.
I was just fuming.
(08:50):
And then I get, I get home, I'mtrying to tire the anger out,
like I'm pulling these thingsand I say I'm not gonna stop.
I basically wanted to like dieon the ground after pulling them
.
And then I get inside I stillhave all this rage and I drink a
glass of orange juice and itall goes away.
(09:10):
It's just like perfect moodagain.
So it's like the realizationthat I think I'm having this
existential crisis, but reallyI'm just a fucking toddler that
needed some juice.
I need some juice juice andthat's a rich experience,
because there's so much of thatat this stage of life.
Just like and I think it's oneof the downfalls of of sort of
(09:31):
going into spiritual stuff isthat everything becomes, I don't
know, like, like meaningful,you know, and, and sometimes
your blood sugar just plummetsand you just pissed and that's
it and there's no other nothingelse to it.
Um, anyway, those are a couple.
There was some more that I thatthat might be there, but those
were the two that.
(09:52):
So then I, I put a little pinin the electrician thing.
Um, well, that could be goodmaterial for Maine, you know,
maine centric material.
Um, but then I, then I said Iinstructed the AI to ask me
questions.
I said I want to do this spirit, this trying to figure out this
, the balance between spirituallife and and and this premise of
(10:13):
of there's this battle betweenthe kind of aspirations for
becoming an enlightened beingwho's like just wide open, like
a Dalai Lama, versus the reality, boots on the ground, which is
that I'm a mess and there's noway I'm ever going to become the
Dalai Lama.
And so we leaned into thisshining snow rage moment and the
(10:38):
AI started asking me questions.
It said, when you say you lostit in the snow, what
specifically were you doing?
Were you yelling, throwingthings?
Paint me the physical pictureof what someone would have seen
if they were watching and Iwrote I was screaming like Jack
does in the main at the end ofthe movie Guttural animal
screams cursing myself and mylife.
It was so tiring as it's like aquarter mile trek out to the
(10:58):
street.
But I was.
I was trying to tire out therage as if the rage was a beast
to be slain by pure exhaustion.
And it didn't work.
I got home and I was stillpissed, and then I had some food
and was fine.
It was literally just a sugarcrash like a hungry toddler.
Um, and then.
And then it asks what's thecontrast between this moment and
how you present yourself in themeditation sessions?
What kind of things do youtypically say when leading
(11:21):
meditation?
And I said in meditation Iliterally just try to get people
to open their hearts and lovethemselves and each other and
love every single thing thatarises in them, whether it's
pleasant or unpleasant.
And I'm still and I use a sortof a quiet voice.
And then it asked before thesnow incident, had there been
other moments where yourspiritual persona and your rage?
(11:42):
I love the AI is calling itrage persona, my rage persona
clashed.
Any funny instances of tryingto be Zen and failing miserably.
Um, but it really liked the,the, the computer really liked
the hungry, hungry toddler.
Comparison Um, do you see anyother parallels between your
(12:02):
spiritual journey and toddlerbehavior?
I thought that was a good umquestion.
Yeah, I did a very sort ofnon-comedic thing about anger,
like it's it's not bad orsomething to suppress, it's just
a problem when it's directed atothers and it's when it's used
to harm others, but ultimatelyis very energizing and can bring
you to skillful action, as Isay, and deep realizations about
(12:25):
all sorts of things yourboundaries, your wounds and
ultimately, anger is almostalways a response to being hurt
or being afraid.
And then it really like the.
I had talked about this idea ofum watching my son who this
idea of my son will like bumphis head or his shoulder on a
door frame and like slow playhis revenge.
(12:47):
He'll be like and then he'll goback into the tool closet and
like grab a hammer and then like, come back to the door and
start like talking to the doorand being like threatening the
door and and really just likethis door is alive.
My son is 11.
You know this isn't a tinychild.
He's just like door, you'regonna get fucked.
(13:09):
Now you're, you made yourmistake and obviously the door
has never moved.
This is 100 my son's fault.
And I try not to laugh when Iwatch this and I'm, and I'm,
charmed by it.
I'm sometimes, but I'm lookingat it like, oh, look at this
young child learning how toprocess his anger.
And then, three or four hourslater, I'm like stacking wood,
(13:32):
you know, and a piece of woodfalls on my hand and without
irony and with just awareness ofthe rage, but nothing else, I
take the piece of wood and Istart bashing it against other
wood and I end up taking an axeand being like you're gonna be
kindling bitch and I just liketake out my anger on the wood.
(13:53):
Point.
Being my son and I, there's nodifference, except that I'm it's
way more pathetic because I'm46 and he's 11.
And that's how we kind of foundthis idea of what would my life
be like if I didn't do all thismeditation and stuff.
And you can never answer that,but I, but I think I would.
I think it's helped a lot andbeing a better parent, and I
(14:19):
think it's helped a lot andbeing a better parent and, uh,
friend, husband, just awareness,etc.
Um, but then I was like I don'tknow.
And then we kind of I came upwith this thing like oh yeah,
mindfulness, my the doubt thatmaybe all this awareness is
doesn't mean jack squat, likeall your awareness is getting
you is just being aware of whata dick you are, and that really
like was like a cracking open ofsomething and I got real.
(14:42):
The heart started going pitterpatter and I was like so then we
started getting questions likewhat's the most ridiculous
realization you've had whilebeing mindful, like a moment
where you're fully aware of howabsurd you're being, but you're
still doing it anyway.
And um, and that's where youknow, fully aware of how absurd
you're being, but you're stilldoing it anyway, and that's
(15:04):
where you know.
It was like it sort of burstout all the things that I've
been thinking about, that I evenhave done, like that you can be
mindful while snorting cocaine.
And so we started to use thatidea of like progression and
trying to get things moving,building I did a bunch of
different options for sort ofmindful of dark things.
You know, maybe it's mindfullyplaying powerball, gambling,
(15:26):
playing ripping a cigarette,just any vice really.
That that's true.
To me it's that, it's thatcombination of the sacred and
the profane together, and thenwe kind of figured out like,
okay, let's do this as a, let'sdo this as a meditation, much
like I did mindfulness ofcocaine.
Already that episode, if youhaven't seen that episode,
you'll see it.
Mindfulness of cocaine.
Maybe it's like episode 11.
(15:49):
I did it on christmas, goodlord, but anyway, um so.
So this is basically all thathas led to this, and this is all
in a day, and so I'm I'mexcited, I think there's
something here.
I'm going to test it out in anopen mic, so I'll think it's
funny, I'll go and it probablywon't get that many laughs at
(16:10):
certain times, but somethingwill.
And then we'll keep, we'll keepworking on it, and I think
that's once we have a premisethat's hot.
Let's say that's got the tickle, like we got.
You got to stick with it, yougot to mine it.
You know, you can't, you, you,you gotta, you gotta stick with
what feels the best.
And then, and don't just keepsearching for the next shiny
object, let's, let's wring itdry, and so, um.
(16:34):
So we had a bunch of premises.
Like you know, mindfulnessdoesn't work or all it makes you
is aware of, and then we hadyou know you can be mindful
about anything mindfully badseries, let's call it then, this
sort of inanimate object rage.
Um, there was another thing ofjust like you know, you come
back from a silent retreat forseven days and, like for four
(16:57):
hours you're just like, oh yeah,I'm amazing, I'm so present
with my kids.
This is like magic.
And then, like you know,something happens and you're
like, oh no, and then you goback to being a fucking asshole.
Yeah, so we started playingwith like, we started playing
with how to set it up, you know.
And then I got on my feet and Idid a thing.
A lot of times you write it andthen you're like it's, this
(17:19):
doesn't feel natural coming outof my mouth.
But, um, yeah, we had a thing oflike, we were looking for the
contrast, like what's the mostzen thing I say in a meditation
session and what's the mostunzen thing you do?
That I've done while beingcompletely aware of doing it and
though that's where the that'sthe engine for this particular
(17:41):
bit.
So something I'll say in a, ina meditation I'm leading, is
like, oh, let's, you know,dissolve your awareness into a
cloud of boundaryless space,letting all sensations, thoughts
and feelings arise and fallaway like waves in the ocean.
And then I'll take my son'snunchuck and beat a couch pillow
with it 50 to 60 times, whilepretending the pillow is my mom.
(18:02):
No, I'm just kidding mom, andI've never done that.
I'm just saying, you know,pretending the pillow is, you
know my enemy.
Um, as you breathe in, gentlynote breathing in.
And as you breathe out gentlynote breathing out cover the
breath in this way, with yourattention, mindfully pressing
your boner into your wife's sideto let you know, let her know
that you're ready to party.
(18:27):
So, yeah, so then we basicallybuilt, we tried to do a build up
.
So there were four kind ofsituations that are true and
relatable.
One is like paying attention toyour kids when they're telling
you the plot of a movie.
Pretend you know whiteknuckling, the listening, when
you really, really, really don'talready know the plot.
First of all.
Second of all, they'recompletely torturing the plot
(18:50):
and you're just having to lookat them and act like you
actually care.
So that's a good, it feels likea relatable moment.
And then the moment of liketelling your kids you're doing
work on your phone, but you'rereally like placing a $3 parlay
bed on DraftKings.
That feels like a relatablemoment for parents.
And then, as you build it, youcan maybe go the emotion like
(19:12):
the nunchucks, build that intoit, and then finally, of course,
my favorite, which is this ideaof mindfully doing cocaine.
So, without further ado, hereis my set after all this work,
and then we'll finish up, okay.
Okay, let's find a positionthat's both comfortable and
(19:32):
alert.
Take a few deep, cleansingbreaths, dissolving into a cloud
of boundless awareness, lettingsounds, sensations, thoughts
and feelings arise and fall awaylike waves on the sea.
That's a really lovely way howI start my weekly meditation
sessions, and I think most of myclass would be surprised to
(19:54):
know what I'm actually like inmy house, because I am mindful,
but I'm just mindful of what adisaster I am.
So this is how I bring peacefulawareness to a lot of the
moments of my life.
Life let's bring, david.
(20:22):
Bring loving awareness to thesound of your child's voice
becoming more and more distantas you imagine life without them
and you feel the relief andpeace that emerges with thoughts
of a silent house, as yourchild describes each character
(20:45):
from Moana.
Observe the growing certaintythat you were never meant to be
a parent.
Mindfulness of sports you know,I'm super aware of sports and
my love of it.
Gently notice the excitementarising as you hide your phone
under the dinner table and feelthe pitter-patter of your heart
(21:07):
as you place your seventh $3parlay of the day.
Let awareness rest on thegentle tap-t taparoo of your
finger placing bets and noticehow skillfully you've learned to
nod at your children whilestudying the point spread of the
(21:28):
Celtics-Mavericks game, whilestudying the point spread of
Israeli soccer leagues.
I don't know there's somethingfunnier there Mindfulness of
emotional processing.
Let's bring that's how you know, whenever I feel a deep, you
(21:49):
know painful emotion, I just amaware let's bring gentle
awareness to the satisfyingwhoosh of your son's nunchuck
through the air.
As you hammer the pillow,notice the sophisticated way
your mind transforms thispottery barn.
(22:13):
Throw pillow into the face ofpeople who have wronged you.
Pottery barn, throw pillow intothe face of people who have
wronged you.
And finally, when I'm preppinga party, a really fun party at
the house, I'm mindful theentire time bringing awareness
(22:36):
to the sacred geometry ofcocaine powder.
Let gratitude arise for theColombian farmers who made this
moment possible and notice theever so subtle rationalization
that because you paid for it,you deserve the biggest line.
Hey, we made it to the end ofanother episode.
Yay, honestly, if you're hereat the end, you really are my
(22:57):
comedy buddy and I.
We made it to the end ofanother episode.
Yay, honestly, if you're hereat the end, you really are my
comedy buddy, and I've said itbefore, send me your jokes.
The door is open.
I love it.
I've been collaborating with acouple people.
It's so fun and, you know, I'veintroduced some new premises.
If this sparks some ideas, reachout to me on Instagram, at
startingstanduppod, at gmail ortext me if you've got my number.
(23:18):
I love it.
I love it.
I want more comedy buddies.
I'm so alone.
I'm so alone.
Also, if anyone you think wouldresonate with this material, we
kind of went from soup to nutshere.
We kind of went.
We did a complete episode underthe hood and if you think
someone would find thatfascinating especially if you
(23:39):
know people getting into comedyor people who are maybe thinking
about trying something, uh,maybe they'd find value from
this if you think they'd findvalue, go ahead and share or
rate it, leave a review, dothose sort of things that
everyone asks for like andsubscribe.
Man, good lord, it's likebaby's first words these days.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
(23:59):
I wish you so much love, somuch peace, so much adventure
and, of course, just beautiful,beautiful, life-changing,
earth-shattering venery untilnext thursday.
Bye, thank you.
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