#28 Kevin Christy Interview

Kevin Christy is not only a world class stand up comedian but he is also more interesting than the Dos Equis man. Imagine if the Dos Equis man loved snow globes, stickers, and Disneyland and hated beer. Then listen to this interview.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
uh, this is the most I.
I'm gonna say it right now.
This is episode 28.
This is the most specialepisode for me because I am
interviewing the man who and Ieven had a unpopped popcorn
kernel of this idea of doing ashow about my efforts to become

(00:27):
good at stand-up.
This man was such wind in mysails and after this interview,
I realized that this may be oneof the longest pranks of all
time.
I think this sick fuck knewwhat I was getting into and was
just sending me down a river ofpain.

(00:52):
I love Kevin Christie.
You're about to learn aboutKevin Christie and it makes me
more happy than I think.
Even don't tell my childrenthis, but like it rivals their
birth, because there's so fewpeople who know about this man

(01:14):
who I find to have one of themost fascinating brains of all
time, and he just happens to bethe favorite stand-up of so many
of the most famous stand-upcomedians in the world.
He also is a pillar of thecomedy seller uh, the company

(01:39):
store, sorry in out in losangeles.
He's been doing stand-up for 20years.
He's toured for people likeWhitney Cummings and Marc Marons
.
We met in 2008 on a show whichyou're going to hear about my
friend Kevin Christie for thenext hour and 45 minutes is

(02:02):
going to blow your hair cleanback, please enjoy.

(02:30):
For those that have beenlistening, this is episode 28.
So, yeah, thanks.
Thanks for listening, kevin.
You're the reason I'm doingthis podcast.
You gave me the wind in thesails, and everyone knows this.
You were lying to me, knowsthis.
You were lying to me, or areyou?
And al were lying to me aboutwhat?
About whether this would be aworthwhile endeavor?

(02:50):
It's not worthwhile, no.
So, kevin, christie and I let'sstart, because the name of the
podcast is starting.
Stand up, yeah, and I wouldlike to start with our start.
Okay.
So, kevin, by the way, wouldyou mind, before we even start
with our start?

Speaker 2 (03:14):
just, do you mind bragging?
I'm shit at it, but I can tryPlease brag to me.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Pretend that I've got a gun to your head and you just
have to brag about yourself.
Okay, okay.
So you're 20 years in, I'm 20years into stand-up, right, and
you are a pillar at the comedystore.
I wouldn't say a pillar.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm one of the support beams.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
But yeah, I started at the comedy store.
I've been a regular at thecomedy store for like 17 years
and you've toured with who Markcomedy store for like 17 years
and you've toured with who?

Speaker 1 (03:50):
uh, mark maron, bobby lee, uh, whitney cummings.
Mostly you and whitney are, areyou?

Speaker 2 (03:52):
my sense from watching you at the comedy store
is that every incredibly famouscomedian likes talking to you
and likes hanging out with you I, I if I'm, I'm relatively
well-liked, I guess, if I verysuccessful, hilarious comedians

(04:17):
like me and respect me, that'skind of the best I can give you
as far as a brag.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Okay, so last time I was with you and the people who.
Anyone who's listened to allthese episodes knows that I had
a disastrous open mic at thecomedy store where I told one
joke at the top about Germanshitting and then proceeded to
just talk about shitting.
And then in hindsight Irealized that I think you had
punked me because you told me tojust talk about shitting.

(04:45):
And then in hindsight Irealized that I think you had
punked me because you told methat to to just talk about
shitting.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, here's the truth.
When someone's like I'm goingto do the open mic of the comedy
store for the first time, Ionly want to make sure it's hard
on them, because that's whatyou deserve and it is I.
There is a you're, you're from,you know a part of the world
where males like to haze eachother.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, you grew up in that environment.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yes, yes, there is a certain amount of, especially.
I wouldn't do this to like afemale comedian.
But when a guy's like, hey, Iwant to do the open mic at the
comedy store, I'm like, oh, letme help.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Like, for instance, max Greenfield.
Actor Max Greenfield From NewGirl Years and years ago wanted
to do stand-up at the open mic.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
And you're good buddies with him, yeah and I
said, oh, I'll help you.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
And so I got him a spot.
I was like, hey, you're goingto put my friend up.
And there was a comic namedMack Lindsey who at the time he
was just a real aggressive,angry, screaming type of guy.
Would you do this bit abouthaving to fillet Jesus Christ
and just slam his face againstthe microphone as hard as he
could, While being like sayinghow profane is your podcast?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Very.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
He would just yell suck the cock of Christ and slam
the mic into his mouth and goyell and I go.
And I made sure that Mac wentbefore Max and I said, mac, my
friend max is going after you.
He's never done stand-up before.
I want you to just go up thereand have as much fun as you
possibly can and then max.
Similar to you, had one bitabout buying khakis at the gap

(06:19):
and bombed just as hard.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, good and that is all design.
That's a beautiful hazingritual.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, I mean no one should do well their first time.
Like my first time in thecomedy store with the open mic,
I did like okay and the nextnight I bombed my nuts off.
Yeah, like pure silence forthree straight minutes, and it's
a part of learning to dostand-up that is absolutely
crucial.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yes, you have to bomb , yes, you have to bomb a
hundred times.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
A hundred times At least, because if you don't, you
don't know how to just standthere and believe in your jokes
and be a person.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
You'll be too rattled .
I don't think there are manyhard and fast rules about
stand-up, but I know a crowddoes not like to see a comedian
look desperate and scared unlessthat's their whole trip.
But if they're like, hey, I'm anormal comedian and all of a
sudden you see the fear in theireyes you are fucked, You're
fucked, it's a wrap on you.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
I just had that happen to me.
And I went up 10 seconds.
The Portland Press-Herald did apiece on me.
I was like the front page ofthe Sunday audience and they
invited them to the show and Idid this thing about my dad and
I just lost it and I wasterrified.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
And it was really humiliating.
But I think it was actuallygood for what I I'm doing, which
is basically trying to get Imean, the truth is stand up for
most of the so I've been doingit 20 years.
I'd say the first seven yearswere only humiliating.
First seven I was shitty at it.
Yeah, you don't get good forit's just.
You don't have enough jokedensity to be good, yeah, and
you don't have enough jokedensity to be good, yeah, and
you don't have.
You haven't worked outnecessarily your presence

(08:06):
standing there.
So you mostly aren't that greatand it's pretty humiliating
because it's all you.
You're just like these are myideas and the crowd's like, well
, they're garbage, yeah, andthen you eat shit.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Okay, so we're going to get it.
We're going to put a pin inthis right here, because I love
it.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
But we have to go back to our start because people
want to know.
We met on a sparsely watchedweb series that premiered on NBC
, mostly because there was agiant strike.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Now what I find interesting.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I know I lived in an apartment, so that was before
2000.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
And you played kind of an odd duck and I like yeah,
contrast to my normal casting, Iplayed a dork.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
They really took a leap over there.
You're gonna see a picture ofkevin you.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
You recognize him from how many, what would you
say?
The number of commercials thatyou've been in in your life?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
I don't really count anymore, but I know it's over 90
you've been in over 90commercials.
Yeah, uh, your income streamsare stand-up commercials
stand-up commercials, uh, fineart and some commercial artwork
and some acting.
Yeah, you, I were in somewriting.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I have invaded, uh, kevin personal space and I'm
currently in his studio andthere's beautiful art.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
The studio is French for garage.
Is that, this is a garage.
One of the greatest Simpsonsjokes ever.
He goes, ooh, garage.
You speak French, he goes.
What do you call it?
He goes car hole.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
A car hole.
What I found when I was drivingover here.
I was like I was thinking aboutour first moments together in
life and we were play these bestfriends on the show quarter
life.
And then you started datingthis girl named mahondra delfino
as a character, our charactersstarted dating on the show and
then I was playing this guynamed danny, yeah, and I I got

(10:07):
with her.
She was pretty slutty on theshow, right, didn't she tear
through like three dudes?
No, no, no, just you, no no, no, no she.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
We went on like a date, I think, on the show and
then she was like he's realizedI was weird.
I don't know who she datedafter that she dated me.
Dude, your characters yeah, westarted dating now and then you
got really upset at me that waswhen we shot it in that room in
vegas and it was a complete shitshow yes, so what?
are you borderline?

(10:35):
Started directing the episode.
I remember this vividly whereyou were, like I don't know,
maybe we should start over thereand turn the camera around
there was was like great, it wasweird.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
I just sometimes think people say, how did you
and your wife meet?
And I'm like I had to make outwith her on a TV show.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
And then I never stopped.
It was pretty cute.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
It was cute.
But sometimes I look at my kidsnow I'm like you only exist
because of quarter life.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
it's oddly beautiful, yeah so kevin and my wife
adores kevin, I'm a huge fan ofyour wife.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
I would give anything if you guys would move back I,
I feel, it, I, I.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
When I come back to la, it feels like home in a lot
of ways.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Well, all the people I love, since la completely
burned, there's kind of a new.
You know I live in LA so I willuse the word vibe as often as I
want and I'm from here, butthere's been what the kids would
call a vibe shift, what's thevibe shift.
I just think people realize thatLA is a gnarly place.

(11:42):
It is gnarly and it's not foreveryone.
So a lot of people are like Ican't take this.
And then those of us that arestaying, who are lifers, are
just like yeah, man, this iswhere we live, this is the vibe.
Yes, it's gnarly, we'veaccepted it and you can't get
rid of us because we're dirtmerchants.
So just let us be and like Ithink it's kind of like yeah,

(12:03):
this place is for weird gutterpeople, weirdos, and it kind of.
I was watching this documentarycalled the west uh-huh that ken
burns produced for oh, yeah,yeah, it's beautiful and they're
talking about like one of thefirst missions I think it was
san juan capistrano, maybe I.
Maybe we're saying no, the sangabriel mission is near here and
they were like, just over thehill from the San Gabriel

(12:25):
mission, a new towns.
A new town sprouted up that wasknown for men who like to
gamble, chase women and weregenerally unruly.
It was called Los Angeles andyou're like, yeah, dude, it's a,
it is a dirty place.
Dirty Full of dirty people, andthat's the way it's always been.
It's going to stay that way.
Any place where you can getrich quick is always going to

(12:46):
attract a certain kind of human.
Now there's those of us thataren't like that, but we're also
really comfortable around totalweirdos.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
So I think, in wake of this, basically a huge swath
of the city burning to theground, the people that aren't
scared of kind of life gettingthat terrifying are who's left
and it's kind of a vibe.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
And that's a good vibe, honestly, because you're
just like we're all in ittogether now.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
This is there's a more, there's a.
It's surprising there's more ofa community sensibility.
Now a little bit beautiful andI kind of I love it.
I mean, I'm a big, I love la,I'm an la proponent, I love it.
Yeah, you were born and raised.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'm born and raised here, this is where I live and
that's rare.
When I came out as an Eastcoaster, I was like who the fuck
is?
Born and raised here?
And you were like my firstperson and and I it's hard to
know what a listener is going toget off of you, because Kevin
is like one of the mostinteresting people in the world
because he's got so manydifferent interests.
You know, I would say, thecoolest elements of like popular

(13:48):
culture, like you're kind of ais there a term for what you are
as like a cultural I mean, I amlike a culture vulture yes I'm
just obsessed.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I'm obsessed with culture.
I'm obsessed with subcultures.
I just want to know about any.
I grew up in a very boringsuburb and I think it made me
want to find interesting shitculturally anywhere I can.
So what are you?

Speaker 1 (14:11):
take me through what you're into, that is, I know
you're into fucking snow globes,not fucking them, sorry.
Yeah, snow.
Well, you collect snow globesif the snow globe is wet enough,
I'll fuck a snow globe.
I'll fuck it in its mouth.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
I'll tell you one snow globe story.
So I bought at Disneyland areally fancy Haunted Mansion.
Snow globe music box.
Okay, it was 70 bucks.
This is like 20 years ago.
I used to have an annual pass.
I went all the time.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
He's wearing a Disneyland sweatshirt right now.
I am, I love, I love look, I'ma Disney adult.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
If you have a problem with that, you can suck my
Mickey cock.
How about that?
So I buy this Haunted Mansionmusic box.
I take it out of the box, Ijust put it on a shelf.
I have it for about three weeks.
One night, at 4 am, it juststarts playing by itself, dog.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
It's terrifying.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Terrifying, Terrifying.
I wake up, I hear it, I take it, I pick it up, I throw it away
immediately.
But then I think to myself, ifthey did that on purpose, if
they just had like the, you knowthey were like if they told the
employees hey, when you sellone of these, just randomly wind
it and give it back to thecustomer, It'll play when they

(15:24):
don't expect it, in two weeksthey'll think it's haunted.
It's one of the more brilliantpieces of marketing.
It scared the shit out of meMiddle of the night Dude, it was
4 am.
The woman I was with at thetime.
We both woke up and I was likewhat do I do?
She goes throw it away.
I threw it away immediately.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Gonzo.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Never seen again.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Never to be seen again oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
I only buy snow globes that aren't Unhaunted.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, so not possessed by a sinister energy.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
For real.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
So what other things are you into?
These days, the main thing I'minto is stickers, stickers, I
collect.
How many stickers do you have?
Thousands, what about stickersdo you like?

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Well, I mainly collect old skateboard stickers
from when I was a kid, like 80sskateboard stickers.
They're all the stickers Iwanted as a youth and didn't
have so you're honoring yourinner child they're also what
made me want to like learn howto draw yeah, and he's in it.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
By the way you're, he's an incredible drawer, uh
painter, that his art is supercool.
You sold how many pieces, wouldyou say, in your life?
I don't know A lot, a lot, yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I'm lucky in that my art sometimes finds a pretty
decent audience Amazing.
Okay.
So my main hobby is collectingvintage stickers.
What would you pay for asticker?
The most I've paid for asticker is $200.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
That's the title of your memoir.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
Yes, Now here's the thing it's a giant sticker and
it's a masterpiece, really.
Okay, see that deck on the wallwith the clock.
Yeah, it's a Klaus Grabke deck.
Yeah, they for some reason inthe 80s made stickers that were
probably half that size but hugelike.
They're like 20 inches tall,and it was being sold by a very
famous skateboarder from the 80snamed lance mountain, who's a

(17:10):
legend, and he has this insanehorde that no, that is like it's
the stuff of legend, andoccasionally he sells stuff.
So he put one of these up forsale and I wanted to buy it.
So I was like 200 bucks andthey were like yeah it's
probably only worth 80, but Iwanted it immediately.
I didn't, I just wanted it, so Ioverpaid for it.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Where did?
Where did it come on the market?
Is there a sticker on hisinstagram?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
he just has an instagram account called lance
mountain shop and he'lloccasionally sell stuff from his
insane skateboarding historyhorde did your heartbeat go up
when you saw it go?
Yeah, I got really scared.
I wasn't gonna get it.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah panicking about not getting the
stick.
Well then, I bought another one, like I my, my.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I mean I have that disorder where, like, if I see
something, I buy it.
I'm like because I want, then Iget scared that it'll get like
discontinued so I have to buy asecond one for safety, which is
stupid okay, so, so and then.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
So is it like you get excited, you get the feeling of
peace that you bought one.
Then you get a little tickle oflike I need to make this safer.
Yeah, you buy the second one,and then you have self-loathing
no, I never regret having moreof a sticker.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I like because I sit there, it's like I I really
think, think that like I don'tknow if you have Costco where
you live.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
They just opened one in Scarborough, Maine, and I'm
obsessed.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well, it's like rich people behavior for the middle
class.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Because you're just like see how many paper towels I
have.
So I feel the same way aboutlike collecting sort of cheap
things like stickers, where I'mjust like I put them all in a
photo album and I'll turn to apage and say there's like
there's a small version of thatclock graphic right, yeah, I
have like 25 and I really lovethat I have 25 of them yeah,
they come in two colors, red andblue, and I just have a page of

(18:55):
them and I'm just like I haveso many of them because, I love
it.
It's my favorite skate graphic,so just the more I have.
If I like a sticker and I canhave so many of them, I just
look.
I don't even feel the slightestpinch of regret.
I look at it and I just think Ihave so many are there animals
in your garage?
No, that's my.
That would be a workman that my.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Should we bring him on the pod?
He's on it anyways, doc, he'son it if you hear us, hey guys,
we're gonna take a moment.
Uh, this episode is brought toyou by kevin's neighbor.
Seems to be sawing or sandinghandyman.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
My neighbor, I'm convinced, hires handyman to
have people to talk to.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Oh, god bless her that makes me sad, it's old age
is incredibly sad it is indeed.
Yeah, it's good.
That's my stand-up.
Is all about my dad going yeah,Anyway.
So yeah, my opening line isanyone else's dad about to die?
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Your dad hasn't died yet you pussy.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
I know, Kevin, we're not going to go there.
We're not going to go there.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Are you going to know where the body is right away?
That's cool.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Kevin is not kidding.
His dad went missing and wedidn't know where the body was.
And I remember driving up withMahondra.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Hungover.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
She put me in the trunk of her car and I was so
hungover that's how I knew youguys were dating, because I
didn't know you guys, it wasstill a secret.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
And she drove.
Need to bring him to this.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
Yeah Well, she was telling me what was important in
life, Cause I woke up with araging nausea headache and she
was like he's Kevin, your friend.
I was like a hundred percent, Ilove Kevin.
He's like then get in thefucking trunk and take a nap.
We're driving to his poorfather's funeral.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
You understand why I I love your wife.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
She is a legend.
She is a legend.
She is as loyal as they come.
Yeah, okay, so we weredistracted, but I was.
Oh, so the stickers.
So there's another thing thatyou're known for is watches.
I do love a wristwatch, and mysense is that a lot of these
stand-ups who are completelyloaded love talking to you about
what watch they should buy.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
They do come to me.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Tell me who some of the people that you've advised
on their watch purchases?

Speaker 2 (21:09):
I have mostly advised Tom Segura.

Speaker 1 (21:12):
Segura.
For those who, this is one ofthe most famous stand-ups in the
world.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, Tom.
Well, I'm really close friendswith this comic named Dean Del
Rey, who I met because ofwatches.
Okay, he was at the comedy storeand he noticed my watch and I
noticed his.
But Segura is the guy who textsme the most about watches he
wants to get and he's myfavorite because he buys them.
He loves a watch.
I get a lot of guys who arelike, hey, I think I want to get

(21:36):
this watch, and then I tellthem where to go.
I send it to a guy and theydon't buy it.
The beauty of tom is I can sendhim something almost as a joke
because it's so expensive, andthen he'll be like I got it.
Fuck.
Yeah, dude, how many watches doyou own?
I don't have many now.
I only have like five you do,you sell them yeah you got it?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
yeah, because my dog needed surgery oh my dog needed
much a lot of health, that's whywatches, especially for those
who are listening like I thinkyou could run a watch consulting
business there's a lot of thoseand they are.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah, and I'll be.
The truth is I like watches alot, but I mostly the reason
I'll like a watch, or I'll picka watch, is because usually I'll
see someone I really admire orrespect wearing it.
Like, the reason I alwayswanted a Rolex was because it's
what Robert Redford wears in.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
All the President's Men.
Yes, and I was like what kindof watch was that?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
It's a 1976-ish or maybe before that.
It's a Submariner 1680.
Okay, it's a great.
It's just a really straight up,normal dive watch of the time.
Probably wasn't even terriblyexpensive, but I love that.
It's my favorite movie probably.
Oh, all the president's men.
Yeah, I love that movie so much.

(22:51):
I've seen it 200 times really,I'm obsessed with it.
I haven't seen it once.
Oh, dude, it's perfect.
You love it so much you won'tbe able to handle it.
Okay, and he wears that watch.
So that's like paul newman, youknow like a watch like he wore,
like francis bacon wore a rolex.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
So same with hunter thompson uh-huh, and that's what
did hunter he wore a coke gmt,a coke gmt, coke, bezel gmt.
So the bezels red and black oh,I've seen that I was obsessed
with gabberduth has a pepsi.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
What your friend?

Speaker 1 (23:19):
gabber new gabberduth david canuth, yeah, he wore
gabberdine pants, so we startedcalling him Gabbard-nooth.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, gabbard-nooth, that's amazing.
He has a Pepsi GMT, so the Cokeis red and black.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Do you have a photographic memory with
people's watches that?

Speaker 2 (23:34):
they wear.
I tend to notice.
I'm always looking at whatpeople wear.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
You have an incredible memory, right?
Do you forget?
Things forget things.
I don't.
Yeah, I mean I, for I don'tremember most of my childhood,
most most of my memories.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
You're basically completely repressed you're.
Who knows who touched me?
Who knows?
I could have been a real openmanhole for those early years.
Wait, so let's let's.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Let's switch into the darkness, the reputation of
comedians as being just likesoulless, dark and fucked up,
which I don't think is true.
It's mostly true.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
You think so, you know so.
It's a lot of digestion ofdamage.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, but doesn't, because I remember Al Madrigal
is a mutual friend and Al isanother very accomplished
stand-up.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
And Al said One of the greatest.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
No, that was you who said it.
It's like getting the poisonout.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
That was you who said it.
It's like getting the poisonout.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, and I've used that line.
Let's talk about that.
Somebody my friend, ClaudiaLano said something where she
said stand-ups want to controlthe way they're made fun of.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
So you're talking about a person that is made fun
of, Like I was.
As a young person, I was madefun of constantly.
What were you made fun?

Speaker 1 (24:43):
of for.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Just for being nerdy and weird.
Was it like 80s villaindouchebags?
Yeah, just classic 80s.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Like push you over in the back, like whack your books
down dude, yeah, totally.
And what did you feel thatbreaks my fucking heart, dude, I
mean I felt the worst.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
You know, you feel what everyone feels.
You feel like just thispowerless weakness and you're
like, how can I get this to stop?
And if you become the funny guy, I got out of it in two ways.
I'm lucky in that I was able toget out of it in two ways.
What high school was thiscrescent valley high school?

Speaker 1 (25:14):
burn it to the ground burn it to the fucking ground.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I actually still exist yeah, it's actually a
great high school now okay butwhen I was there, I hated it
more than how many kids probably.
It was a relatively decent size, one like I don't know 500,
something like that, 600 oh, itwasn't that huge.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
No, no, I don't, I actually don't know.
Okay, you, you don't rememberyour childhood.
I know there were two things.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
I recently did a bit where I only did it a few times,
where?
Because I recently got invitedto my 30th high school
graduation and I didn't reply tothe email because I never do.
But I wrote a letter and readit on stage and I I just was so
confused because the woman whodoes it, who organizes it I
remember her from high school,she was really nice.
Do you have the letter?
Could you read it?
Uh, no, it's in the house butit was mostly just like I don't

(25:57):
understand.
I was worried that she has likeactual stockholm syndrome, that
why would you identify withpeople like help them plan a
party to show off theiralcoholism?

Speaker 1 (26:07):
These people were such assholes.
The high school was just filledwith assholes.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
It was just a classic 80s douchebag kind of situation
.
Just a white suburb full ofdickheads.
Where?
What town?
La Crescenta?

Speaker 1 (26:20):
La Crescenta.
It's a lovely town.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Yeah, my dad was a school teacher there.
It was a lovely town, but itwas that top-down dickhead
mentality.
It was basically liketrickle-down cruelty, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Dad sucked.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah, just like I mean, if you wanted to cure
mental health in America, youshould just ban football at
every high school in the country, because it's just like they
just let those people run wildyeah and torture anyone who's
not like them.
Oh, and because you know, Idon't know how much money a high
school football team makes peryear probably about forty
thousand dollars, but so it'sjust.

(26:56):
It's a part of the culture ofamerica and so all the athletes
just get to treat everyone likethey're absolute garbage and
it's awful.
It's awful.
So the way that I got around itwas by being funny.
I could make everybody laughand then I got out of it by
drawing shit for assholes youmean they would be like hey, man
, will you draw my girlfriendfor me like a?

(27:17):
bunch of guys on the footballteam were volunteer firemen and
so I drew some t-shirt design oflike a bear in a fireman's
outfit breaking through a wall.
You know, like shit like that.
I did stuff like that to getthem to kind of leave me alone
more, so I didn't get it nearlyas bad as a lot of people Did
you have a friend group of likequote unquote nerds.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Well, steve Howie.
Steve Howie is an actor.
If you don't know him, he wason Reba.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
He was on Shameless.
You're currently testingagainst him for a part.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, he's a competitor of mine.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, you guys are both tall and very handsome and
funny.
But also he got insanely yoked,yeah, although it's calmed down
now oh yeah, he calmed it backdown Because he was so jacked up
that it was like, besidesplaying a wrestler, are we gonna
do?

Speaker 1 (28:04):
here.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Steve howie got so incredibly yoked I was worried
about him yeah, he was jacked up, yeah so, but now he's a little
, now he's just in incredibleshape okay uh, so he was my, but
he was.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
He was a nerd, he wasn't a football player he was
like you, he hung, he likednerds his dad was my acting
teacher for a little bit exactlyso steve?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
steve was like a weirdo who just didn't look like
one uh-huh like he hung outwith me, our armenian friend
pedro, and this vietnamese kidnamed tron and could have been
cool and didn't.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
What about my dentist assistant?
Doesn't he remember?

Speaker 2 (28:39):
remember uh oh, justin horn.
Yeah, justin horn was like acouple grades behind us but yeah
, justin horn was around later,but he, justin horn, steve moved
to colorado and I becamefriends with justin horn like
when I was like a senior andthen just out of high school
because we all started hangingaround our friend's band, eve
six.
Eve six was your friend's band.

(29:01):
Yeah, my very first.
What's their most famous songinside out?
So my very first art job.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Inside Out they were like a real.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
I mean essentially Eve Six is why I get to be an
actor and become a comic.
Tell me more.
Because my very first ever jobI got paid to draw anything was
a t-shirt for them.
When they were called Yakku.
They drew a baby pointing a gunat the viewer and with a flag
that said their name stickingout of the gun.
Can you find that?
Google it and find that.

(29:31):
My friend.
Maybe my friend, probably notokay, that sucks they made 20
and they paid me 20 and it wasamazing because kids at school
wore it and everyone thought itwas cool so they that, yeah,
what's the name of that band?

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yak something.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Well, they were called Yakku and their record
label made them change theirname to EVE6.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Were they like high school stars?

Speaker 2 (29:50):
They were well, kinda Again.
This high school was so full ofidiots they didn't get that
this really cool band washappening.
Some of us did, but then theygot a record record deal when
they were still in high schoolit was amazing.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Adam levine was just talking.
He was similar.
It was sort of like high schoolseven.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Well he adam levine grew up in like beverly hills
and a rich a and r guy livednext door do you have hatred?
They were called kara's flowersand I remember seeing them
before they were maroon fivethere.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
It's very surprising to me and I think to a lot of
people who don't know la, howmany famous people actually grew
up here yeah, a lot.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
And how many movie stars were child actors Almost
all of them, I think, to becomeI will say, I think, to become a
genuinely big star, you kind ofhave to start really early,
Really early, because in a weirdway you need like Leonardo
Dirio was started when he waslike 10- 10 growing pains I

(30:47):
remember he came on and I godamn that kid's good that.
But also I think it's like it'salmost like a business reality
where that's a bankable personwho stood the test of time like
a brand in a weird way.
So, scarlett johansson, yes,scarlett johansson, toby mcguire
, they were all.
They all started very, very,very young very young and I
think and I think there's just a.

(31:07):
There's a track record ofexecution where it's like that
kid knows how to show up to workand do their job.
We don't have to worry aboutthem.
Yeah, and they're bringingalong a fan base over time yeah,
who played batman?

Speaker 1 (31:19):
he's?
He was in the last emperor.
Yeah, christian bale was inchristianies or some shit.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
He was like eight.
No, he's yeah, so there issomething to that.
I know like you know I don'tknow how I feel about kid acting
all the time, but there issomething to the fact that, like
a lot of those actors have beendoing it well since Raven
Simonyi was one of the bestsitcom actors of all time when
she was like 14.

(31:45):
all time when she was like 14,that's so raven mahondra was on
that show with her.
Because mahondra I remembermahondra called me was like I'm
getting my ass kicked so hard byher.
Just tell me what to do, justso I don't look like an idiot
and I was like just yell allyour jokes and I remember the
next day she was like, oh my god, it's working, I go yeah you're
not gonna beat raven, she'sgonna kick your ass, that's fine
, she's one of the greats, butyou can still do well, so just

(32:06):
yell all your jokes.
It's unbelievable.
Um, yeah, there's those peoplethat are just, you know, uh, uh,
that are just these phenoms.
They're, they're essentiallyjust acting prodigies you know
what's completely?

Speaker 1 (32:20):
this is what I know.
It's completely useless.
It strikes me for acting iscollege.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Yeah, no, you're just wasting the years when you're
kind of the hottest yeah it'strue.
You can go to college later,like Natalie Portman did later,
but that stretch if I hadstarted acting when I was like
21,.
If I had started when I was 17,I have a totally different
career because I'm in the roomcompeting for, like all those

(32:50):
early 2000s teen movies.
I may have kicked some of thoseguys's ass, you never know yeah
I was rail thin and had glasseslike I may have worked my way
into, like she's all that ahundred percent could have been
like I may have had a little bitof a different career.
If you really really reallywant to act, you should start as
soon as you can.
Yeah, I agree, I mean, I don'tknow about.

(33:11):
Well now, the truth is, if youreally really want to act, you
should start a tiktok as soon asyou can a tiktok as soon as you
can well now the.
I think the way executives thinkand the way agents think is
completely different they areexpecting you to kind of bring
along your own career.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
They don't want to build people on their own
anymore.
No, that whole game is over.
Where you work your way up, youbuild up your quote and you
build a career.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
They're looking for self-starters who bring a
following with them now.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Yeah, and they're just making their movies or
making their content, and thenthey'll be like oh, we can put
them in something.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah, you need to be like a walking commercial for
yourself it sucks, it is what itis.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
I know you don't like .
I don't like it because I likedwhen there was a giant gate and
there were gatekeepers and allyou had to do was convince them
that you were worthy I will sayI.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
The difference I notice is a lot of these, a lot
of the people that maybe getfamous a bit quicker now and
aren't as tested and haven'tbeen around as long.
They tend to fail.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
They tend to be like one and done flash in the plant,
in the pan, or it's just likethis person has a big following.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
They put them in a big thing.
They suck, and then you're like, well, now what then?
They just trickle down and andthen three years later, you're
competing against them for aguest star yeah, okay, so we
here's.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
The problem is that you have so many interests yeah,
as do I sure, and this is astand-up thing, so let's just go
right into what would you?
What would you advise?
Is stand-up the same as acting?
Just start, at any age, withstand-up, yeah, just start.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Stand-up is a numbers game and I will say stand-up.
It is to me and I, me and meand Neil Brennan were talking
about this years ago.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Neil Brennan, very famous comedian, one of the
greatest joke writers of alltime.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Truly one of the great stand-ups.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
His three thing, where he did that power, the
three mics was unbelievable.
Neil is one of the greats.
Go watch it.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Straight up.
Neil's joke ability is shocking.
Shout out to Neil, he's abrilliant dude.
Shocking, shout out to neil, abrilliant dude.
And uh um, we were saying thatstand-up is maybe the fairest
area of show business there areunfair elements to it, but the
best joke writers, the bestcomedians tend to do the best

(35:18):
yes, right there are anomalies,obviously, but chris rock isn't
accidentally as great as he is.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
He's right.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
He's one of the best comedians.
He's top five.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
You know yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
It is like Mulaney, guys like that Neal, who are
voracious joke writers.
Seinfeld a voracious jokewriter Sam Morrell.
Voracious joke writer Likesomeone like, or someone who's
just a wildly funny, brilliantperformer like Leslie Jones.
They are as big as they are fora reason because they are

(35:49):
tremendous and when you see themlive you're just like the room
shakes.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
The room shakes.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, and there are people that may not be household
names, like Earthquake orsomeone like that.
Earthquake crushes so hard youdon't know what to do.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
I have no idea who that is Exactly.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
you don't know who Earthquake is Earthquake crush.
You don't know what to do.
I have no idea who that isexactly.
You don't know who earthquakeearthquake crushes so hard and
if you had to go after him,you'd run home like I would.
If I had to follow earthquake,I'd be like fucking god damn
same with leslie.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
I've had to follow leslie.
I'm just like god damn it, Idon't know leslie's work, leslie
jones.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
She's on.
She was on snl, she is.
Neil said about her.
Leslie jones brings a towel onstage because she uses it Like
she crushes so hard.
You can't believe it.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, I mean literally the room.
What is the towel joke?
I don't get that.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
She's so physical that she sweats.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Oh, oh, Like she needs a towel.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
She's very physical, yeah she just murders so hard.
The room heats up.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Ah, people are laughing so hard the room heats
up from their fucking breath.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
You don't like watching stand-ups.
No, I hate it.
It's awful mostly so.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
How do you know that leslie's I'll watch leslie
you'll watch the best.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Oh well, someone like that.
You're like you can't.
Why wouldn't you want to watch?
Okay, okay, so there areexceptions, like I think you and
I both probably fall victim toa Roger Federer warming up
YouTube video I go, I watched,I've watched thousands yeah.
He'll just just to watch himwarm up.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, it's like so in slow-mo.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
If I'm at the store and Leslie's on the lineup, I'll
watch Leslie, or something youknow anyone like that Cause
you're like you're going to seefor they can't breathe, and

(37:38):
you're like this person's goingto remember this the rest of
their life.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
You're so right about .
I got to go back to thatcomment.
It's like a direct line ofeffort and creativity.
Yeah, there's just no middleman, no you have to like last night
.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
I do a show sometimes with Neil Brennan.
It's a new material show andlast night we both did fine.
But there are portions of Neildid great.
There are portions of my actorI was just eating my own ass up
there because I was doing newjokes.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
And they're not good yet.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Tell me a new joke.
That wasn't good.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
I was doing something about my age, where I was like
I'm old, yes, we're old, we'reold.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
And someone asked me are you going to dye your beard?
And I said no, because I'm nota fucking liar, yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
And also I don't want people to think I'm younger
than I am, because I don't wantyou to invite me to your young
shit.
Yeah, I don't want like firstof all, if you're like hair
meeting for drinks at 9 45, no,no, no, kevin, tight, it's nine
night time.
I have an old dog on steroidswho it makes him drink a lot of
water, so he wakes.
Wakes me up.
It's 635 am, otherwise I got tomop up a river of piss which I

(38:49):
don't want to do yeah.
So, like I'm not, how old areyou?
Fifty, forty, eight.
So I don't want to stay up.
I don't want to go to youryoung people shit.
Also, I don't want to ruin yourhang.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
You're having the time of your life on goofballs
at coachella.
You turn around and a guy lookslike your dad's accountant
sitting there like what are wedoing?
We vibing, where are we goingafter?
I don't belong there.
And so you say this run and isit is it kind of laugh.
I get like spikes of laughterhere and there, but it's
disorganized the way I did itjust now sounded slightly more
organized than it did last night, okay, but here's what I I've
noticed like I was watching, uh,mark norman, I paid like two
bucks for this video and he wasjust working on a joke and it
was just like a 12 minutedocumentary as he tried to make

(39:31):
this joke work and of course mymemory is terrible so I don't
know what the joke was, but itstruck me he's like it wasn't
working.
It wasn't working every singletime he did the joke that wasn't
working was a bigger laugh thanI've ever gotten sure, so so
your sensitivity to laughs onceyou get good in your
professional must be differentthan mine.
Like it's like he's gettinglaughs but he says it's not

(39:53):
working.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
There's a neil calls them earners okay when a joke's
good, it's an earner.
Like you know, it's gonna dowell every time, whereas
sometimes the energy of thecrowd can give you a false laugh
for a joke.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
That's not actually that great and you know that in
the moment?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
yeah, because I can tell based on how the other
jokes do uh-huh so a joke.
You can kind of get joke.
You've done a number of times.
You can gauge how a new joke isdoing based on how that joke
does.
So if that joke, if a tried andtrue joke, murders really
really hard, you're maybe goingto get some grace on a newer
thing.
That's not actually that greatyet I see.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
So if you get a normal middle laugh on a very
reliable joke, then there's moreintegrity for the rest of the
new stuff.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
Yeah they're not giving you anything you don't
deserve Right, and then you knowif a new joke does.
Also, there's a lot of juicebehind a new joke.
When you do it, your eyes are alot more present.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
When I'm telling a joke.
I've done 50 times.
I've got to be careful not togo completely dead.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
But your vibe on stage when I saw you on the
Comedy Store and Kevin wasfantastic, but it was so.
Talk about jokes per minute,talk about joke density.
I try to not give the audienceany room no room and and you
didn't, um, but it was so clean.
Uh, but you have a kind of Imean your persona.

(41:20):
I would say there is a sort ofsizzling rage underneath.
Yeah, there's a, there's like aremember that movie falling
down yes, michael douglas, I'vealways really identified with
that yeah, but you're thesweetest, nicest kindness, like

(41:41):
very loyal, caring friend who'salso.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
I'm your neighbor, you're also like have a nihilism
.
I'm your next door neighbor andyou just didn't see the murder
coming.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
You're a sweetheart, but you're, yeah, you obviously
have a dark sense of humor.
Do all stand-ups have a darksense of humor In my experience?
Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
I've met very few.
There's a few that are justvery optimistic and they're
light because of whatever Idon't know, but most comics.
The reason I love being aroundcomics is you can say something
insanely dark.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
And no one's like hey , what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (42:24):
They're just like yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
No one gets rattled no one gets rattled.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
No one gets rattled.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
You can say insane things to each other who is who
would be surprising as someonewho is in funnier in person than
they are on stage.
Does anyone?
Uh does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (42:38):
I'd be careful to say that because it makes it seem
like they're not good on stage.
Yeah, I'd be careful to saythat because it makes it seem
like they're not good on stage.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
But I will say Bobby Lee, who murders, by the way.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
Bobby Lee, I saw, hasn't changed his act in how
many years.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Oh, I don't know, I haven't watched his act in
detail in a long time.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
He's got new stuff now, oh, he does.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
But Bobby murders harder than almost anyone.
Bobby is a fucking greatcomedian.
I will say off stage, though,he's a much more esoteric
thinker than you would maybeguess by watching his stand-up
stand-up is a lot about him andhis family and things like that.
But bobby is a genuineeccentric and he, he really

(43:17):
there's a bird in your garage.
I have these.
These birds have built nests inhere and I'm really into it.
You love it.
Oh, he can't get out.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Hold on you're their friend one sec, yeah.
By the way, I'm not editingthis interview, so it's just
gonna all be in.
Oh, he's trying to get out, butyeah, he'll get.
I opened the door for you.
Fly free, little bird get outmy friend.
I love you we love you.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yeah, they build nests in here, and I'm so into
it yeah, it's great, it's nice,my grandfather oh he's out had
this giant bird cage that hecould like walk into in his
backyard, yeah and he hadfinches and he would just walk
in there and feed them every dayand they would just flutter
around them.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
They're just flutter around your uncle, my
grandfather, oh, no way yeah um,anyways shout out to kevin's
grandfather shout out to gordonchristie.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Gordon christie dead like everyone else so.
But Bobby's a real like.
Bobby has probably as broad akind of menu of interest as I do
.
He's into all kinds of amazingshit Like he'll turn me on to a
kind of music on.
He's turned me on to this genremusic called cozy synth.
It's like it's like synthesizermusic but like feel like you're

(44:24):
all wrapped in a blanket.
Oh, really it literally calmsyou down and makes you feel cute
, like you're in a cottage Willyou send me a link.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
I'll play a little right at this moment it's called

(45:00):
.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
Some people call it cottagecore it's's rad, it
sounds like the background musicof a Japanese video game where
you just build a farm.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a friend who's addicted to
the farming video game.
Yeah, it got Marcel through.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
COVID oh yeah, just build a farm.
She just built a garden,whatever it was called.
Animal Crossing, oh, animalCrossing, yeah, amazing, and, by
the way, I could just watch herplay it.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
It was so soothing the watching a video game thing
I criticized so deep with my son.
And then I just stand there for10 minutes watching someone
play minecraft and I'm like whatam I doing?
Look, it sucks you in.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
That's why I can't play them.
They're too good.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
No, it's all too good I stay away.
I do too.
I don't know how I right nowand we can talk about this
because we both love tennis yeah, I just put ATP 250 tournaments
on, like early rounds.
Yeah, just two kids, you don't,I'll watch a.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Stanford match.
I'll watch a Stanford matchwith almost no spectators and
these two kids are absolutely.
There's something about collegewhere they play maniacally
because there's like nothing tolose.
They only have to gain, yeah,and they're only going to get
win and get noticed if they areplaying there's no like I,

(46:14):
better play it safe these kidsare playing a hundred thousand
percent and screaming the entiretime and there's no one there.
There's no one there,absolutely.
And they're cheating.
Yeah, they're just lying,calling foot faults and when I
was in high, I was on the tennisteam in high school and I we I
played doubles because we were avery bad team so you took all.

(46:35):
You just were devoted they weredevoted to doubles.
It was the only way we couldmaybe win yeah, my my partner
one time called a foot faultfrom the baseline on the other
team and I was like dude, comeon he was 80 feet away, full 80
feet away, called a fucking footfault in the middle of a match.
We were losing by a mile and Iwas like homie yeah, tennis

(47:02):
brings out.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
It's my one knock on the beautiful sport.
Is it just bring like peoplefucking cheat?

Speaker 2 (47:07):
oh, that's why I never play for points If you're
playing tennis with me we'regoing to rally for an hour and
go home because I'll startcheating.
I'm the least competitiveperson I know and I'm like I'll
fucking lie about a serve.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
I'll lie about a serve in a game.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I'm losing by a lot.
There's something about it.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
It's like the original room of the comedy
store.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
You're in the dark, so you can be your worst version
.
The reason my act is so tightis because I hate dealing with
hecklers.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
So I just don't give them any space.
Yeah, you hate hecklers when.

Speaker 2 (47:38):
I first started at the store.
It was a free-for-all so I hadto deal with a lot of hecklers.
I had a shitty act so I'd havethese gaps with no laughs that
just begged people to yell outat me.
You know you're fucking awfulor whatever, and so that's why.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
I developed this.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
And I heard Rock say it.
He's like the tighter my actgets, the less I deal with
people talking.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
So how long are you when you say you and Neil do a
weekly new joke?

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Well, he moved he doesn't live in California.
Why he moved to Hawaii?
For sanity, if you could.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
So he's not part of the LA vibe shift, not as much.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
I mean, he comes here a lot, though he does, yeah,
but he's here now and so we doit.
It's more like every couplemonths.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Are you going to the comedy store tonight?
No, I'll be there saturday andsunday.
Saturday, sunday yeah, saturdaynight, it's a good show.
Yeah, that's the all the tours.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Friday set yeah friday, saturday I mean to be
honest most nights the comedystore good yeah, it's all the
toys like the most famous.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
What are the two most famous in la the improv?
Uh, the improv, the comedystore?
Yeah, and they still are.
Is that the best now?
I've been hanging out at thecomedy cellar in new york, yeah,
and hanging out seeing so manyshows, what is?
Is there a rivalry?

Speaker 2 (48:55):
la new york no, I mean, here's the truth.
Uh, for some reason, I don'tknow why, comics who aren't in
la love to talk about la lacomics.
We never talk about otherplaces, we just don't and.
I've cross-referenced this withevery comic I know.
Here.
We just it's not a thing wethink about.
You can call us a bunch ofnarcissistic, up our own asses

(49:18):
comics.
Fine, I don't.
I'm not.
I know a lot of comics in NewYork I'm interested in, like
hearing about how great someoneis.
I don't give a shit.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
We never talk about it.
I never sit there.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
I'll see podcast after podcast with comics from
other places.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
LA comics are like this.
First of all, none of them arefrom here.
You're talking about a bunch ofguys who moved here from
Chicago or some shit.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
I never sit and talk about other clubs outside of LA
with comics.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
Who are the la comics ?

Speaker 2 (49:51):
that's what I mean that's the thing is there really
aren't la comics.
I mean what?
Like marin mark marin, likeneil marin, bill burr bill burr
is boston, not really.
He's been here forever and hewas in new york longer than that
.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, like he's an la guy, he's a store guy it's
basically you're that whereveryou live is where you're the
comic.
Yeah, so every new comic, Ifeel no rivalry for other cities
.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
I don't.
I like good comedians I don'tlike, I'm not like oh, they're
better than I don't care I don'tgive a shit like it's not a
thing I think about, like I'mreally only concerned with how
my act is doing and how my jokesare doing.
The truth is, most comics aretrash.
So as long as I'm decent, Idon't have to worry about other

(50:38):
comics.
There's spots for you if you'rea decent comic.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
So when a New York?

Speaker 2 (50:42):
comic comes here and they're great.
I'm like great hi.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
This was the thing that's always been confusing to
me about you, because when youwere doing stand-up during
quarter-life days, yeah, I'mlike what the fuck is he doing?
Like?
This seems miserable to likethree times a week, have to like
put yourself out there and liketry to be funny, like I didn't
understand it at all and I wasjust like you felt like an alien

(51:07):
to me.
I couldn't.
Well, I try like a masochist.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
I always thought of jokes and then I or not always I
started thinking of jokes whenI was about 18, okay but they
were like popsicle stick jokes,things like that and so I just
started thinking of jokes, forsome reason.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
What's a popsicle stick like uh?

Speaker 2 (51:25):
the first joke I ever thought of in my life.
I was actually.
I was at Max Collins, the leadsinger of Eve Six's house.
I was 18.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
You're just dropping so much Eve Six.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
It literally is the crux of why I got to be in show
business.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Oh yeah, actually you said you were stand-up because
of Eve, of eve six.
Well, okay, never.
The reason is they.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
They were shooting a video for teach, a movie called
teaching mrs tingle, which katieholmes was in, and I wanted to
see katie holmes in real lifeattaboy, yeah, and so I went to
the video shoot.
She was so I was joking withfriends like I'm gonna talk to
katie holmes.
She was so stunning and tall inreal life I was like I'm
definitely not talking, I'mgonna stay over here so I just
hung out by the cameras and wasmaking people laugh because I'm

(52:07):
annoying, and their manager waslike what are you?

Speaker 1 (52:10):
who are you?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
who are you?
And I was like my name is Kevinand then they're like oh, kevin
does a lot of commercials andhe's like what?

Speaker 1 (52:16):
do you?

Speaker 2 (52:16):
mean he goes.
How many commercials have youdone?
I was like 10 and he goes, andhow much time.
I was like six months he goes.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Can you come to my office on Monday?
Maybe?
Actually I wasn't 18, I waslike 20 when the okay thing
happened and he goes just come.
Can you come to my office onMonday?
Actually I wasn't 18.
I was like 20 when the thinghappened and he goes.
Can you come to my office onMonday and?

Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was like okay, I'll come sure Because.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
I'd gotten into commercials from art school it
doesn't matter, and so he got mean agent, and that's how I
started working as an actor, Isee.
So it was the serendipity ofbeing on News 6.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
serendipity of being on it was.
It was basically making myfriends laugh near their manager
, a guy named stew sobel whounfortunately isn't with us
anymore, but he was this amazingdude shout out manager stew was
the best.
He was such a sweetheart and hejust I think he literally
thought it was funny.
I'm gonna make this skinny nerd.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
I'm gonna get this skinny dork on television and
how quickly after uh you signedwith him, did things start
happening.
I got the first four jobs.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
I auditioned for.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Wow, Because I was, I had no there were no stakes for
me.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
I was still in art school, so I was just like this
is cool.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
I'll just go try it, were they commercials.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
No, I mean, I was already doing commercials at
that point.
Oh, right, right Ten.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
But like my first three jobs I got because I was
just kind of this new kid?

Speaker 2 (53:30):
were they guest stars ?
They were guest stars.
There were two guest stars in amovie and I was.
Again, actors are sometimes alittle behind on style, so I was
the only skinny hipster kidwith the glass like big kind of
buddy holly glass you were onthe tip of the spear of like the
nerd, the nerd, the kind ofcool nerd yeah, so like I want
you remain there.
Sure, it's the.
That's all I got.
And so and I walked in and theywere just like, oh, perfect,

(53:53):
like I.
It was a kind of right place atright time thing and I was
funny enough and they were small, smallish parts and I looked
perfect and I was kind of I kindof just got hired to be myself.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
You were just a booking machine, yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
I got hired to be myself for like a decade.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
It was really easy.
And when did you start doingstand-up?

Speaker 2 (54:10):
When I was like there was like 25-ish, there was a
strike and I was like well, oh,the big writer's strike.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
No, it was an actor's strike.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Oh, okay, and so there just wasn't a lot to do
and I didn't like sitting aroundand doing nothing and I just
started at the same time.
Randomly I'd bought one ofthose like voice recorders at
Radio Shack.
Yeah, with the cassette tapes.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
And I would just walk around saying things into it.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Really.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Yeah, and I had done a commercial with Bobby Lee,
like when I was like 22.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Oh, you met him that early and he hadn't made it.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
No, he hadn't, he wasn't even on Mad TV yet.
And then I ran, ran into him atamoeba and I was like I think I
want to try amoeba musicrecords, yeah, records, and I
was like I've been recordingjokes in this thing, I want to
try stand-up.
And he was like okay, and wemet at a coffee shop and he said
come to the comedy store thismonday and tuesday and I'll get
you on the open mic wait, bobbylee was already doing.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
He was already a regular there.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Oh wow, well that actually we did the commercial
and he was like I'm a stand-up.
And I was like, oh, can I comecheck it out.
So I went to see him on athursday in the original room
and he fucking lit the room onfire yeah, he, he, he's
incredibly, he's a he's a hemelts rooms, when bobby's
crushing his hardest, it's it'sreally something.
Yeah, and he just made, hecrushed so hard and I'm sitting
in the back of the original roomwhere you did the open mic and

(55:23):
I was like I have to, I have tofigure out how to do that.
Oh yeah, because I saw it and Iwas just like, okay, I met him,
I know that person.
Yeah, I want to know what itfeels like to do that to this
room.
So bad, I will do whatever Ihave to to learn how to do it
yeah, you caught a sickness sothat's to answer your question
like how, why is he doing this?

(55:45):
why would he put himself throughthis?
Because I needed to know whatit was like to murder a hundred,
whatever people, 100 people,300 people.
I wanted to know what it waslike to write jokes, come up
with an idea and then see if it,and then have it do well
basically, when and when do youhave a show that was your best
show ever or like, do you have a?
Uh, I don't really rememberthem have you accomplished that?

(56:09):
yeah, totally yeah, like I,there have been nights where
that room's packed and I'vedefinitely just decimated the
place, decimated them yeah, likethat and you know, like in in
the main room, the bigger room,like there have been, when the
crowd is good and and I'm at mybest, like I've completely
destroyed them.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Do you know why some nights you destroy and some
nights you don't?

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Yeah, there's a looseness if you're relaxed.
Yes, because I know if my jokesare where they should be, I
don't have to worry about myjokes.
So there's just an added.
I've never done cocaine, butit's what people describe.
It's that little bit of a pushcocaine gives you it's that like
confidence.
It's a looseness, it's just a ayou're, you're relaxed up there

(56:54):
, so it almost make it feel likeyou're coming up with the
things off the top of your head,even though they're jokes.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
You've done 50, 60 times yeah, it really feels in
the moment it is an element ofthe crowd.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
If the crowd's listening, if they're really
there, they really just want tolaugh that they have the right
kind of attitude and presence,you can catch it.
It takes all.
It's an alchemy thing yeah, ittakes all those things and you
can just catch a great set andyou're just absolutely murder a
lot of the best sets I've had.
Have been on the road withwhitney because they're so
excited to see her or her, yeah,and you'll do what?

(57:24):
15, 2020 minutes, 25 minutesand they can be really easy
because they're so hyped to seeher and they're just like that's
her friend, she loves him.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
You can really crush some of those.
Is that fun touring withWhitney?
What do you guys do?

Speaker 2 (57:42):
what's touring like.
The reason we tour together isbecause during the day, we don't
like to do anything.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
We like to sleep.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
You just sleep all day, yeah, just as much sleep as
you can get, and then we dolike one activity maybe, and
then go do the show Like youlike, go in a swan boat or
something, or just go buystickers Antique store.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Yeah, yeah, you'll noodle around.
You're super fun to noodlethrough cultural areas.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
If there's a junk store.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
I'm there, you go to a junk store and you're in
heaven.
Oh, it's the best.
So you also have thisfascination with the Cheesecake
Factory.
It's a great restaurant.
I'm not saying it's bad, I justthe way it's the fabric of our
country.
You also have this obsessionwith malls.
I love a mall, well.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
well, I was raised at the mall glendale galleria I've
been going to since I was 13,which gallery glendale?
The glendale galleria.
I've been going there for 35years, but the glendale galleria
, the grove you're talking aboutthe americana, which is across
the street, yes, okay, okay, sowhich is also a great mall.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Yeah, go to the movies all the time yeah, it's
actually less crowded than thegrove, right?
Yeah, no, it depends, okay,anyway.
So we were on a heater and Ijust I derailed it by getting
into that because, oh, you'retalking about touring with
whitney.
Yeah, yeah, I just want to hearabout it because I'm always I.
I went and saw a lot of bigcomics come into portland, maine
.
Yeah, now this is I'veperformed in portland, maine.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
They hated me Some opera house.
It was me and Whitney and holyshit, they hated me.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Really.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
They hated both of us what.
It was one of the rare.
I mean Whitney always murders,but it was like if she usually
is a 10, it was like an 8.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
And she was like what the fuck is this?

Speaker 2 (59:22):
Like Maine, there's New England.
There's something wrong there.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
I love that you're saying this, I'll be honest.
I don't love performing inMaine.
That is amazing for those.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Maine comics.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
Have you performed at the Empire Comedy Club?

Speaker 2 (59:37):
no, because Whitney does mostly theaters so this was
like an opera house, but themain problem was it's like one
of those subscriber places, sothe people that have tickets
don't necessarily buy ticketsfor that show for her.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
They get tickets for all the shows and they're just
like the first three rows werepeople in their 80s.
Oh and whitney, if you guyshaven't heard, if you haven't.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
She's a brash lady, she's extremely dirty?

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
no, she's not extremely dirty, she's not, but
she can be dirty, okay, and but,were just like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
I think we were both a little.
I was a little dark.
I'm a little too death heavyfor people that close to a
graveyard.
Yes and Whitney was maybe a bittoo brash for some of the older
men.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Yeah, yeah, men can find Whitney a bit threatening.
Well, I've been.
I went to the cross insurancearena.
I've seen bill burr there, Isaw theo vaughn there, yeah, and
I just I'm looking at theseguys, especially now that I've
like tried this thing myfavorite, theo vaughn story yeah
, please, we're we're doing thetuesday show.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
It was me and neil it was years ago and theo's doing
the show.
I've been with theo forever andwe're just sitting there.
It's dead quiet because we'reall kind of looking at our jokes
and Theo just goes.
I got a lot of problems, man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
And me and Neil both look up and we're like really he
goes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
yeah, man, and like I don't know if I got enough
years to fix all of them.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
And we're like.
I was like Theo, you're like 30.
A lot of time he goes.
I got a lot of problems.
Man, it's so funny.
My brother came into town in2017 into la I was living here
and, uh, I had just met, I'mwhere I'm repped at gersh agency
, shadow gersh, and I had uh andshout out for dropping me oh,

(01:01:25):
awkward, um no, so I, I, I raninto the stand-up guy, gersh,
yeah, and he's like you don'twant tickets anywhere.
And I was like I would love togo to the comedy store.
Yeah, I sent him an email.
I found it because I was justtyping in in the search bar,
gersh.
I was like what is that email?
And I go hey john, hey jim,thank you so much, it was super

(01:01:45):
fun.
One standout amazing was thisguy named Theo Vaughn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
This is in 2017.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
I had no recollection that I'd ever seen him, even
after going to him in Portland.
Theo's really funny and BobbyLee and him have this insane
relationship right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Well, you can't really have anormal relationship with Theo.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
He's a real deal, authentically just.
Again you want to talk aboutlike an eccentric.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
Yeah, he's a genuine he's genuinely eccentric and a
genuine esoteric abstractthinker in his own way and when
you talk to him are yourconversations wild.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
I haven't seen him in a long time.
He's not in la that much.
But no, he did want somebodygoes.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
I think you're too smart for this business.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
But yeah, he'll say, he is just an interesting dude.
But he's also just kind of anormal nice guy too.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
Yeah, he seems a big hearted guy.
I think a lot of.
I look at his podcast.
I get a lot of clips in myalgorithm.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Well, I kind of think you and him are not dissimilar.
There's a type of guy SteveHowie, you, theo Vince Vaughn
where you're all we're luckyfrom the standpoint of your
aesthetic looks, but forwhatever reason, you all of you

(01:03:11):
kind of gravitate towards thefreaks and kind of maybe the
less popular, the less belovedmembers of society Like you're
not're not terribly interestedin.
Well, you're interested inpeople in general, but you're
like you kind of in a weird way.
I think you have the instinctto want to protect us, the dorks
, uh-huh, and like maybe youkind of, because you understand,
you're like, okay, between thetop of my head and the top of
your head lives thisneighborhood of which you're
allowed to maybe protect us alittle from bullies or keep us

(01:03:32):
like, oh, I like that guy and itmaybe takes some of the heat
off of us when we're kids, yeah,yeah, yeah.
As adults it's a littledifferent and the culture has
shifted to where nerds havebecome these maniacal
psychopaths, quite literallyruining society At hyper speed,
just speeding up society, justcomplete destruction.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
At a rate.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
That is so wild.
You wonder if they Just arenecrophiliacs that jerk off To
poverty.
Anyways so, but like VinceVaughn's talked about it, and
Steve's like that too, I didn'tknow Vince was a, a, a protector
of there.
He was, he had to be.
There was something about likehe had to be in like a special

(01:04:14):
ed class or something when hewas young.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
Cause he was dyslexic .
Oh, okay, something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
There's so many dyslexic people who are
incredibly successful, and so Ideveloped this friend group of
kind of kids that were maybe alittle different, and so he
developed this kind of I thinkit's part of why he's so funny
and why he gravitates towardscomedy people.
Because the comedy people areusually a bunch of ugly freaks.
Yeah, you know, we're notcomedy is like punk music, Like

(01:04:40):
you probably shouldn't be hotfor the most part, there are
exceptions no offense.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Billy Idol, henry Rollins.

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
So you know, but for the most part it's the kind of
it's the the lower below thecool kids group that has time to
sit at home and write jokesbecause no one invites one of
the seminal moments of my life.
I'm in high school.
I'm drawing in my sketchbook.
A very pretty girl sitting nextto me in science class sees one

(01:05:08):
of my drawings, asks to use itfor a flyer for a party at her
house.
I of course say yes, becauseshe's a girl.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
She uses it.
Then the next time I see her ona Monday, she gives me the
flyer, I'm like, oh cool.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
I look and I notice the party had already happened.
So I was good enough to drawthe flyer, not good enough to go
to the party?

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
oh, and I thought to myself this is what your life's
probably going to be dog, oh getused to her oh dude, yeah, no,
it's funny you say that, becauseI I really love strange people.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
Yeah, I just want to be around people who are just
into something yeah, I mean, Ijust find so many things
fascinating because I was justkind of like an alone kid.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
I'm jealous.
I mean, I think in a weird way,there's just so much out there.
I remember when we startedhanging out I go, oh my God, I
think I need more of a fun hog.
I need, like you know, whetherit's at a certain phase it was
substances.
Let's just add substances tothis and we're going to have
even more fun.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Well, I was always afraid of drugs, because you
never drink.
I was afraid of alcohol.
I was surrounded by so many baddrugs.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
I see In my high school.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
The drunk kids were the worst bullies.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
Have you ever had a drink?
Yeah, yeah, I've gotten.
Yeah, yeah, I've gotten drunk.
Okay, I just don't love it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
I kind of like edibles, but again they make me
eat too much.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Yeah, yeah, so I've kind of stopped that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
And I never got into real hard drugs.
I didn't know, but all myfriends were doing cocaine.
They just didn't tell me orinvite me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Again, so cool.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
Which is like nice, but also like come on bro yeah,
they're, like kevin's, annoyingenough.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
We don't want to add an eight ball to this.
Can you imagine?

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
how much he's going to talk about snow globes.
It will be relentless, like canyou imagine me on a blow.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
Oh, I love it.
And then ken burns to thisother documentary I wish I could
just lay out a gagger right nowfor you let's get this fentanyl
in it.
Stop this train finally.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Yeah, finally, but like so I just you know I had a
lot of spare brain space andfree time to just get into it.
Also, when you're into art andyou're an artist, you just the
great thing about art Fran.
Lebowitz says this in thatgreat Netflix documentary
artistic talent is one of thefew things that's distributed
pretty randomly and equally.
You know you can't reallyinherit it?

(01:07:31):
really it's.
It's a thing that just happensto you, yeah, but when you're so
, because of that, there's atalented artistic person from
every type of human on the earthyes, so it forces you to be
into lots of things that aredifferent than you, and you just
get exposed to all kinds ofstuff yeah, you, you have
probably the most diverse amountof interests and people in your
life.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
I would say, especially you live in LA.
Like there is my selling point.
To people in LA anyone askswhat it's like, I say you can
have quite literally any lifeyou want.
You can be a triathlete, sure.
You can be a little leaguecoach yeah.
You can smear feces on a loftdowntown, yeah.
You can live in Burbank in avan.

(01:08:13):
I love that Burbank.
I went there.
I got off the plane from NewZealand.
I was 32 hours without sleep.
This is yesterday.
I drove you flew to Burbank.
No, sorry, I landed in LAX.
And no, sorry, I landed in LAXand my whatever my job hunting
was at Universal.
I was like I just want to staynear there.
And so I just drove to Burbank.

(01:08:36):
And at 7 am, burbank it was sofucking dark, dude, the misery
that I was like it was like thecreatures.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
To me, Burbank is a paradise.
First of all, Toluca Lake isthe Beverly Hills of the Valley.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Yes, it is.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
And those homes are beautiful, but Burbank in
general it's flat and quiet.
Yes, and it's all the peoplethat were like technicians in
the industry, so there's anamazing model train culture
there.
Oh my God, One of the bestmodel train stores in America is
in Burbank, on Magnolia, Ibelieve no it's on Buena Vista

(01:09:12):
and Magnolia.
Also one of the most amazingthings I've ever been to.
My teacher at Art Center, jasonHawley, told me there's a bunch
of people that would gettogether once a month in a gym
in Burbank to fly their rubberband planes around the gym.
These are to fly their rubberband planes around the gym.
Oh these are balsa wood rubberband planes that are so

(01:09:32):
lightweight the propeller moveslike this fast, whoosh, whoosh,
because they're so light yeah,they have contests.
They go to their practice andyou just, I went there and I sat
in a gym and I watched a bunchof adult men in their 50s who,
working like aeronautics, flythese masterpieces around a gym
and it was one of the greatestthings I've ever seen you're
loving.

(01:09:52):
and then they have a radiocontrol time so all the people
take, they stop with the rubberband ones and these guys fly
their radio controlled ones.
There's a giant fishing pole incase one gets caught in the
ceiling, which happens.
And I remember the next time Iwas in class and I was like dude
, dude, that was so amazing,someone should do a documentary.
And I remember my teacher goes,or maybe we should just leave
him alone, and I was like, yeah,leave him alone, because you're

(01:10:16):
probably going to findsomething you didn't want to
find.

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
Eventually.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
Talking about an adult man that goes to a gym
once a month to fly a plane.
There's something there.
I don't know if it's going tobe that bad, but there's
something.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
So the love letter to Burbank is real.
I mean, I have to say I wasjust so raw because I do love
the dirtiness of LA Bob's Big.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Boy.
On a Friday, all the guys bringtheir old cars.
When David Lynch died, the BigBoy statue at the Toluca Lake
Bob's Big Boy turned into an adhoc David Lynch tribute shrine.
Like Boz Big Boy turned into anad hoc David Lynch like tribute
shrine and all these peoplejust notes and gifts and pie.
It was amazing Because he usedto go there for seven years.
He would go sit at the counterat Boz Big Boy and get a cup of

(01:10:58):
coffee and a chocolate milkshakewhile he was like working on
whatever he was working on andthat was his break.

Speaker 1 (01:11:02):
And then he said he read the ingredients to the
milkshake and he never wentagain.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
He goes ingredients to the milkshake and he never
went.

Speaker 1 (01:11:11):
Again he goes.
I read the ingredients.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
There was not a natural thing in that fucker he
stopped going black coffee and amilkshake, so.

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
So this was my thing with you, though.
When we started hanging outquarter life days with mahander
and stuff, I was like I wasjealous because I was 27 and I
was just like I want everythingin my system.
And I was like but this man canjust wander through the Grove
mall for hours and be like, arewe hungry?

(01:11:38):
And it's like, and then we'regoing to just mosey on over to
the cheesecake factory.
Well, you get the buzzer,because the wait's usually an
hour.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Yeah, it's an hour, so then you cruise the mall.

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
Yeah, and you cruise the mall.
Yeah, and you cruise the mallwhile you wait for your
cheesecake.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
I love looking at people and how they behave so
the grove is a real I've been inthe grove in years too crowded.
But you go to a mall you get tosee a real cross-section of
society yes, you do.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
What do you ever do?
Do you have a mall set a mallbits or stuff?
Not anymore, anymore, I know Ihave, I've tried to wrap.

Speaker 2 (01:12:11):
To be honest, I kind of can't wrap my head around it
because in my mind it lives insuch a large place in my heart.
I'd have to do a special.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Maybe you would do a heart thing Like the Neil
Brennan thing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
I love malls.
I love a mall.
I love the mall A lot Becausewhen I was a kid that's where
you went.
That was the only place youcould find cool shit In.
You know, locker Center onlyhad one good clothing store,
miller's Outpost, and all thatwas to get TNC surf shirts and
Maui and Sun shirts.
But once you had those you hadto go to Glendale Galleria to

(01:12:50):
try to find a cool hoodie orbaggy jeans.
Although what we did was we'dgo to Ross, buy 42 waist pants,
cut the bottom off.
Then Tron, our Vietnamesefriend, would cut the seam on
the inner and the inside seam ofthe pants and sew in a triangle
so they'd be flared all the waydown, because flared jeans cost
$100 in 1996.
Or no, 1992, sorry, and wecouldn't afford that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
No, but Tron could sew like a motherfucker Very
stereotypical, incredible seweryeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
His brother Min, was one of the best dancers in all
of LA.

Speaker 1 (01:13:21):
I remember when I first saw you dance I couldn't
fucking believe it's a shocker.
Because you hadn't moved.
No, no, you wouldn't a finger.
Like, yeah, you guys don't knowthis, because there's this
audio like kevin doesn't movelike he just like will stand
there in the mall and just likestand, I'm a, I'm a still person
, so still.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
And then you started doing hip hop get me at a
wedding, I will burn that shit.
What's?

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
that thing.
It makes me cry laugh watching.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
You do very good hip hop, I mean I really love.
The first culture that I wasever into was graffiti culture,
like B-boy breakdancing culture.

Speaker 1 (01:13:59):
Because I was.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
I don't know how old I was I was probably about five
or six years old and I saw themovie Beat Street and it
exploded my brain.
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe A how coolgraffiti was and how cool
breakdancing was.

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
I couldn't handle it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:16):
I immediately begged my parents to buy me fat laces
and like.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
What are fat laces?
They're thicker shoelaces thatyou put.
Oh, literally fat laces.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Fat laces for, and I wanted suede pumas, just like
the guys in the movie.
I couldn't understand howeveryone at school wasn't
talking about Beat Street.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
How annoying were your parents by your obsessions.
Were they into them?
Would they honor them?
I was generally ignored by them, generally ignored by your
parents.
They were busy people, busy,hardworking.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
I was a latchkey kid you were a total latchkey, yeah
so like they were, they were,they would buy me what I asked
for, because they didn't ask fora ton uh-huh and long well,
also once your parents getdivorced oh yeah, you get a lot
more shit.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Yeah, yeah, because it gets a little competitive.
Yeah, yeah, but so they were.
They were generally encouragingthat stuff okay, I also didn't
ask for much to be honest.
Thank God, this just poppedinto my head.
Where is the world goingculture-wise?
What are the things that you'renoticing now?
I remember when we were bothlike are we ever going to work

(01:15:20):
again?
And you were like they'restarting to like white men again
.

Speaker 2 (01:15:25):
Well, I don't know that they're starting to like us
, but demographically, the whitedollar has reared its angry
head again.
Yes, I mean, if you look,there's definitely been a shift
in popular stand-up towards amore how you would say edgy
white dude, yeah, yeah.
Some call them edgelords.

(01:15:45):
I don't really fall into thatcategory but it's definitely
popular with a lot of my friendswho are.

Speaker 1 (01:15:50):
Would Shane Gillis be in that?

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
You know, I think Shane Gillis gets painted with
that brush in the wrong way.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
I think he's.

Speaker 2 (01:15:57):
Shane Gillis.
I find the bits I've seen ofhis I haven't seen his whole act
or anything they're really Ifind the way he thinks really
fascinating.
He's really smart.
Yeah, he seems really reallysmart and I really let his takes
on things I find really kind ofmeasured and interesting and
surprising yeah and I kind ofreally like the fact that they
kind of come through thisathletic kind of I hate the word

(01:16:21):
bro but like he's definitely aguy that enjoys sports and and
football and beer.
Yeah, he's like, he's like a.
He's like an athleticphilosopher in a weird way.
I find his takes on thingsreally interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:16:32):
I agree, but again I think that similar to you is.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
He has this exposure to people that suffer from
autism.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
And Down Syndrome in the family.
Sorry Down Syndrome.

Speaker 2 (01:16:43):
So he has this worldview that may be different,
of a guy who obviously isinterested in people that are at
the peak of like physicalability, but he's also seen the
complete, maybe the opposite ofthat, with someone who, out of
no fault of their own, has beensaddled with a physical reality
that keeps them from achievingcertain things or being able to
do certain things.
So it's this real interestingdichotomy of his worldview yeah

(01:17:05):
so I don't really put it.
I he's definitely.
He lives in Austin and performsat the Mothership with all the
other dudes that I know from thestore, but I don't really find
him that right wing.

Speaker 1 (01:17:14):
Well, the edgelord that I think I saw in person,
that I found incrediblyoff-putting and I didn't like
him, was that dude who hosts thebiggest oh Tony.
Yeah, tony Hainsworth.
Who hosts the biggest oh Tony?
Yeah, tony Henscliff.

Speaker 2 (01:17:28):
Yeah, Tony's polarizing Again, I've known.

Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
Tony, you like Tony?

Speaker 2 (01:17:31):
I've known Tony 20 years.
I don't know that we agree oneverything, but I will say this
when it comes to joke-writingability on a roast joke, Tony's
a fucking beast.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
Yeah, he can roast.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
And Tony Henscliff.
A lot of comics say like, saylike, I make fun about it tony
doesn't kill.
Tony is the show tony doesn'tgive a shit about anything but
the quality of a joke uh-huh,tony is a slave to jokes.
Yeah, all he cares about, in myopinion, is jokes, and how good
the joke is, he does not give afuck who it offends, who it's

(01:18:01):
for.
That kid cares about jokes andjoke writing, and that is that's
why a lot of stand-ups don'thave a problem with them.

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
Is that really the ultimate respect that the
high-level people have?

Speaker 2 (01:18:14):
It's just like If you're a great joke writer.
I don't necessarily, becausethe truth is that's how you can
tell an offensive joke and haveit not really bother people.

Speaker 1 (01:18:24):
If the joke is good.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
Bill Burr does this all the time Because Bill Burr
is one of the greatest jokewriters of all time Jezelnik
does this all the time?
If you ask any stand-up, isanything off-limits?
The truth is no, but it has tobe funny enough.
It's off-limits if you write ashitty joke.
Because then you're justtrading on the offensive part of
it.
You're not actually coming upwith a good take on it, whereas

(01:18:46):
if you're a great joke writer,like Jeselnik or Neil or someone
like that, you can tell a jokethat or Chappelle someone like
that.
You can get into a subject thatwould normally be offensive and
find a way to find humor in itin a way that doesn't bother
people.
That's the thing.
So when Shane tells a jokeabout Down Syndrome or he has,

(01:19:07):
the joke I really liked was hewas talking about like the
taliban and how he related tothem, because when they would
blow something up they'd be likestoked he's like that's how I
would react.

Speaker 1 (01:19:17):
He's like I'd be so surprised.
I did it right and he's like.

Speaker 2 (01:19:20):
He's like you watch marines.
They're just like they blow upa whole town and they're just
like uh, roger, and they're justlike.

Speaker 1 (01:19:25):
It's fucking terrifying they're just like uh
target like it's so much scarierand I was like that's a really
good take, it's a reallyinteresting take on blowing
people to smithereens whichshould be the ultimate third
rail.

Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so I.
It's fascinating I you knowalso, we live in a culture where
I hate the term.
The term cancel culture issilly because it also doesn't
exist, if you and I got canceledtomorrow.
We'd have better stand upcareers the next day.
But you have to remember thatoutrage is monetized, so what

(01:19:58):
you're seeing isn't essentiallynecessarily people being really
angry and upset and hurt.
You can get more attention fromsomeone being upset than you
can from something goodhappening yes, that's why the,
the.
The heartwarming story on thenews is the end, when no one
gives a shit no, they're done,those shows those shows that
that sell.

Speaker 1 (01:20:18):
I love pbs a lot but the ratings are low, very
because people don't.

Speaker 2 (01:20:22):
People want to watch stuff that scares them or they
want to be aware of the stuffthey should be scared of yes so
you're?
Wow.
It seems like everyone's soangry and offended when you go
into do stand-up in the country.
It's not really like that,because that's mostly just giant
media conglomerates sellingclicks and that they can

(01:20:43):
monetize by selling those clicksto advertisers that's what
you're seeing, yeah and sothat's why there's that culture
of this stand-up.
This stand-up's mad at thisstand-up.
These people are mad.
They're just selling views.
The internet has made it so themost valuable thing to
advertisers is our behaviors,and so they're just trying to

(01:21:06):
track behaviors and then try tosell you.
If, if you click on an articlethat's tony henchcliffe's an
offensive comedian, then theyknow that maybe send you tickets
to a female comedian who'spopular on the coast yeah, it's
just that, yeah, and once yourealize, it's just marketing.
It kind of takes the teeth outof a lot of it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:24):
It does I when it comes to writing roast jokes.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
Fine, there are few people as good as tony yeah,
yeah he's, he's dark.
He was so dark and he was soangry and it was so lethal yeah
you know, and there was well hisjokes are genuinely
mean-spirited yeah, they're mean, but when a mean, when a truly
mean-spirited joke is good yeahyou get a laugh that comes from

(01:21:47):
the worst memories, it's some ofthe worst memories in your life
come ripping out of youresophagus and now there's a
little bit less of them thatlive inside your heart oh,
that's an interesting takethere's something therapy when
you laugh at.
Okay, one day god forbid,hopefully in a long time your
dad's gonna die.
Yeah, right, then you're gonnahear a dead dad joke that's
going to make you laugh so hardit's going to take some of the

(01:22:08):
sting out of your dad being dead.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
Yes, Like that is.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
It's cliche that laughter is the best medicine,
but being able to laugh atsomething that is so horrific,
it takes the edge off.
I agree, and it connects you toall the other people that have
been through it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:23):
Yeah, all of us have bodies.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
You know what I mean All of us have bodies.
You know what I mean Meat suits.
Everybody's got a bunch of deadbodies in their brain because
of all the people that have died, and when you can relate to
that, like Whitney's parents aredead, so are mine, and some
will just be like look at thisasshole with an alive mom, like,
oh, your life's hard with youralive mom.
You don't know anything Untilyou've watched your mom take her

(01:22:45):
last breath.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
Don't talk to me about how much my car financing
should be buddy, you and Whitneyon the road, yeah, just like.
Oh, that's so cute yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:22:55):
I mean Whitney's, one of the darkest people ever.

Speaker 1 (01:22:59):
I know I am feeling a dream.
We played a married couple onsome like improv-y show together
and she was an I, just I didn'teven talk.
Oh, whitney's a beast.
Oh, show together.
And she was an I just I didn'teven talk.
Oh, whitney's a beast.
Oh, my god, she improvised so,so hard.

Speaker 2 (01:23:13):
I was just like I'm gonna be the silent husband
people need to.
I don't know that peopleunderstand how hard that lady
murders.
And you want to talk about avoracious.
When I've worked on roasts withher dude, that lady can.
Her joke writing ability ismind-boggling.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
Yeah, Just hammers I'm doing.
You know I'm six months intothis podcast and six months into
a college try on stand-up, youknow, and I was going to show
you my best set that I've done,but we don't have time.

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (01:23:45):
I knew that was going to be the response.
I can just watch a kid tripdown some stairs but um, yeah,
no, and I, but I, I, I'm like myexistential crisis truly is
just like my brain doesn't writejokes like it.
Just you have to train it.
I know, I am, I'm trying, dude,I'm trying to train it months

(01:24:06):
it took me.

Speaker 2 (01:24:07):
I didn't get good at writing jokes till like an hour
ago like it's very hard.

Speaker 1 (01:24:12):
Where is your stand-up going?
Like, where do you, do you have?

Speaker 2 (01:24:17):
no goals, you have no goals.
My goal in stand-up is to make,is to make people laugh with
jokes I write.
I'm very interested in justtrying to see if my the ideas I
think will be funny will befunny to other people.

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
And so when you go to the new stuff with Neil Neil's
not here, but when you guys dothose nights on new stuff, is
that the most exciting thing youdo.
It's also the most torture.
Because, I know it's probablynot going to work.
So you're nervous before?
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
That's the most nervous I get is those shows,
because we used to do them onSundays and then Neil goes.
We have to pick a different day.
This is ruining my weekends.
Does.

Speaker 1 (01:24:52):
Neil get nervous.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
I mean, I wouldn't call it nervous, but you just
know.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
How many people are there I?

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
don't know, 60?
It's a small place.
Okay, so you know most of it.
I'm about to go out there andeat my own ass and I'm a grown
man.
I'm 20 years grown I'm dying,like I'm closer to a senior
discount than I am.
Like much farther from the ageyou need to rent a car.
You know what I mean, like I'mold you're old and you're still

(01:25:19):
up there just fucking eatingyour ass with an idea you
thought of on the shitter.
Like it's weird.
It is so weird there's an onyx,there's more, I would say 10 of
the time, when I'm about to goon stage and someone says, give
it up for this next guy, kevinchrissy, I think to myself, why
would you say that name?

Speaker 1 (01:25:39):
why is?

Speaker 2 (01:25:39):
that human being going.
If you know me and you know, ifyou saw me as a kid, you'd be
like why did he say kevin?

Speaker 1 (01:25:45):
it's baffling.
Why did?

Speaker 2 (01:25:46):
kevin start doing stand-up.
I'll be on stage and I'll thinkwhy is Kevin doing stand-up?
While I'm saying a joke, Imostly think about my outfit and
how I regret it.
But, there'll be moments whereI've done a joke.
I've done so many times thatI'm thinking about other things.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
And I'll think why is Kevin here?

Speaker 2 (01:26:05):
Why is Kevin Christie a stand-up comedian?

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
It's so weird.
That's what I'm running into.
I don't like saying the samething again.

Speaker 2 (01:26:17):
There are lots of stand-ups, like you.

Speaker 1 (01:26:20):
What do I?

Speaker 2 (01:26:20):
do, you could get really good at crowd work.
There's a comic named RickIngram who I think, pound for
pound is maybe the funniestperson at the comedy store.
Rick is so funny.
It's a comic named Rick Ingramwho I think, pound for pound, is
maybe the funniest person atthe comedy store.

Speaker 1 (01:26:29):
Okay, rick is so funny, it's shocking.

Speaker 2 (01:26:32):
And he, when he first started he shut the store and
he was trying to materialize.
He just hated it.
He hated his material, he hateddoing it over and over.
So he started doing crowd workand he's one of the best crowd
work comics in the world.
Really Like he, it's just he.

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
Does he have a file for every single situation that
can rise?
Kind of he's kind, but he alsohe does.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
he comes up with genuinely new shit all the time,
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:26:54):
Reactions to people yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:26:55):
And but.
I mean, I remember when hefirst started doing it he would
murder so hard.
There was this booker namedTommy, the old booker, tommy
would go.
I'm going to put you after rickbecause you calm them back down
that's not nice.

Speaker 1 (01:27:08):
Rick would kill so hard.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
You would look like such a boring comedy robot with
your old okay, so what if Idon't want to do crowd work?
Uh, then you I mean dude to donew jokes a lot yeah, you're
just gonna bomb.

Speaker 1 (01:27:20):
Your bomb all the time, or you?
Just get so good at writingjokes that I'd say neil's new
jokes do better than mostpeople's regular jokes did you
ever read a joke writing book?
No, never have.
I don't know that there's agood one.
I hear there are, but it's likedoes that, does that?

Speaker 2 (01:27:37):
structure apply to your heart because, dude, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:27:40):
So what do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:27:40):
the key to the joke writing is what is the word
economy, word, economy wordeconomy and understanding how
you come across, and don't everexpect the audience to see
something in you that you don'tshow them.
That's true of acting, tooright you need to sell the joke,

(01:28:01):
tell the joke, sell the jokeand get your words right what is
sell the joke?
Sell it with your eyes and yourface Act.

Speaker 1 (01:28:10):
Yeah, act Acting.

Speaker 2 (01:28:11):
Or don't act.
Actually feel it, yeah, say thewords, think thoughts.

Speaker 1 (01:28:16):
Live it, live it, it's acting.

Speaker 2 (01:28:17):
Try to get as close yeah, try to get as close to the
feeling of the thing.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
This is the first time saying it, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
Try to get to how you actually feel about the thing
you're saying and they'll feelit with you humans have these
tuning forks in their heart.

Speaker 1 (01:28:31):
That's the book I read and this is.
I've seen it when I listen back.
When you're in, when you'reconnected to the stuff, whether
you're in disgust or whetheryou're excited or you're just
like this is so weird or stupidand you're feeling those things
yeah, that's what sells it.
Otherwise, you're just a robot.
Yeah, you're just.

Speaker 2 (01:28:49):
This is why I you know obviously.
You asked me where I thinksociety is going and everyone's
thinking about artificialintelligence is.
I don't worry about it as muchas I maybe did, because I think
it will force people, especiallyyoung people, to trust human
connection and trust humaninteraction.

Speaker 1 (01:29:08):
Old people go to the human connection and trust human
interaction.

Speaker 2 (01:29:09):
Old people go to the bank to do things because they
don't trust the Internet.
Right, Right, Imagine howuntrustworthy the Internet's
about to get.
I may drive to like San Diegoto pay my mortgage in person
every night, Because how do Ifucking know?
Ai didn't hack the website.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
I'm sending that money to somewhere else Latvia
right You're talking about.
That's a cool take there'sgoing to be an internet that's
going to be so convincing you'renot going to want to trust it
at all.

Speaker 1 (01:29:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:29:36):
And there's going to be a kind of show business
that's like that too.
That's going to be made bycomputers.
Yeah, that I think the nicething about young people is they
grew up with a lot of tech.
They're so savvy they can smellmarketing a mile away.
Yeah, so they're a lot of.
Them are just going to checkout and the way a 25 year old
looks at facebook now, I thinkis the way a lot of people are

(01:29:57):
going to uh view the some of theai economy that's aimed at
entertaining us yes they'regonna be like that's some
bullshit, robot crap.
Yeah, I'm gonna go to a liveperformance of humans to be
around.
It's like dude.
When the Kindle came out theywere like, oh, close every
bookstore.
Every bookstore didn't need toclose the giant Barnes Noble

(01:30:17):
that for some reason sold icecream and tires did but now
they're reopening.
They're just smaller becausehumans need to go be around
other humans.
Yeah, we do.
I almost think AI if you wantto get mystical AI was sent by
the universe to kill tech work,because tech work is inherently
soulless.
Aha, People don't feel goodabout designing an app.
They just want the money whenit sells.

Speaker 1 (01:30:38):
Yes, I see tech.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
People around my neighborhood walking with their
children.
They look like shells.
Miserable.
They just have this emptinessto them.
So perhaps AI is killing thesoul of this work of being a
online marketing synergisticconsultant.
What the fuck is that?
What do you have to say aboutyourself in 40 years, when you
retire?
What did you do?
You're like, I don't know.
I answered 75 emails a day andI cc'd 17,000 people, and then I

(01:31:04):
went to a meeting about ameeting.
So I think it may force humanbeings back into doing things.
If you want to know whereAmerica's going, look at Japan.
Because they have some of thesame tech problems and work,
cultural problems we do and apopulation problem Smaller scale
.
A lot of young people are goingfrom the cities in small groups

(01:31:25):
but back to like theseabandoned small towns in japan.
You you're probably aware ofthis.
There's this huge populationproblem where there's eight
million vacant homes in japanwow, you can get one for free
wow, and these small towns?
everyone left to go work in thecity so they work.
A lot of people are going backand they're starting these
little companies that do thingslike make tea or stuff like that

(01:31:46):
and just simple.
They're not trying to get rich,they're just trying to have a
life and do like substantialwork that feels like something
that matters to a area wherethey appreciate it and that's
your life, community andphysical objects.
It's, it's it's america 150years ago yeah local like local.
This lady.
I watched a tiktok.
This lady asked chat gbt topredict what america is going to

(01:32:07):
be like in 15 years orsomething it was like people are
going to have to go back tosmall community connective
businesses and groups becausethere's going to be this bizarre
, you think conglomerates arebig.
Now, when you completelyautomate them, they're just
going to be selling shit to eachother like who knows what it'll
be like?

(01:32:28):
and we may not be even involved,so it's gonna be this local
thing.
We're like you don't want to goto the robot market no because
the robot market sometimessteals your card number and
there's no one to call yeah, soyou're gonna want to.
Even if cash is even a thing,you maybe go trade a guy.

Speaker 1 (01:32:45):
I may trade a painting for tomatoes.
I mean like we don't know, butit'll have to be human to human.
I I hope so, and I I mean Idon't, who knows?
And chat gbt may be right andand obviously we're going to be
surprised, no matter what, bythe future on some level.
Um, but I think stand up to towrap it up is completely ai

(01:33:06):
proof, even though I find ithelpful.
I'll do a rant and AI will belike is there anything in here
that's worthy of something?
And it'll be like this is acool premise.
I'm like you're right, that iskind of a cool premise, think of
it as scissors.
Scissors.

Speaker 2 (01:33:18):
That's how my friend when I graduated art school he
was kind of my last mentor thisbrilliant art director named
Brett.
Shout out Brett mentor, thisbrilliant art director named
brett shut up.

Speaker 1 (01:33:28):
Brett brett no longer alive proudest human ever,
raddest human ever uh designedthe old, dirty bastard welfare
card album cover all the kingsof leon covers, all the strokes
covers.

Speaker 2 (01:33:35):
He was fucking brilliant and a genius.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
He was the best human alive but I was like should I
learn?

Speaker 2 (01:33:41):
photoshop and he goes .
No, I go.
Why, I guess because everyone'sgoing to use it as a shortcut
and you'll be one of the guyswho doesn't use it and it's just
scissors, and I was likescissors.

Speaker 1 (01:33:50):
You're right, these things are just tools.

Speaker 2 (01:33:52):
Granted this one coming towards us right now is
the scariest tool we've everseen.

Speaker 1 (01:33:56):
So who knows, because it is wild, the level of
sophistication of it is wild.

Speaker 2 (01:34:01):
But, it's mostly going to be used by corporations
, and corporations are foreveryone.
Look at the people to buy vinyl.
Look at the people to buy oldbooks.
La clothing stickers at newclothing stores are fucked.
In Los Angeles, people justwant to buy used clothes.
Oh, oh everyone because it'scheaper and it's a little bit
more unique and you get theactivity of hunting it down yeah

(01:34:23):
, the problem with tech peopleis they mostly spent all their
time with tech people.
Those are some extreme insidekids and you're hearing this
from a dork Like.
Those are people that don'tnecessarily like to go out in
the world and relate to otherhumans.
They think that what everyonewants is to sit in the perfectly
manicured apartment andeverything's mechanized and it's
this perfect, like technicalsituation where you don't have

(01:34:45):
to think about anything and doanything.

Speaker 1 (01:34:53):
They forget that there's swaths of humans that
love doing stuff and goingoutside.
Think of the state of coloradofor instance.

Speaker 2 (01:34:56):
Yes, those people love to hike and then sew a
thing.
And sew a patch on their shirtand then talk about it and sit
outside and be around otherhumans on mushrooms yeah, god
bless, there's a lot of peoplelike that.
Yeah, and those people aren'tgoing to want to live in the
robot world.
They're going to find it scaryand insulting, and so there may
be a whole new entertainmentindustry.
That's like fucking vaudeville.
Yeah, I was watching the stageplay of Oklahoma the other day.

(01:35:19):
Hugh Jackman's in it, by theway, that motherfucker is so
mint.

Speaker 1 (01:35:26):
He was born like a royal straight flush.

Speaker 2 (01:35:28):
He was born to perform.
He can sing, dance.
He's a brilliant actor.

Speaker 1 (01:35:32):
He's beautiful, he's tall.

Speaker 2 (01:35:35):
He's ripped enough to play fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:35:37):
Wolverine so.

Speaker 2 (01:35:40):
I'm watching Oklahoma .
He's amazing, but I was likethis may be what show business
is like.
Because AI is going to be ableto build every prop in every
environment, people are stillprobably gonna want to watch
human actors, because part ofcelebrity is you like watching a
human become famous and rich.
it inspires you to maybe try todo something in your own life,
right I think, there's apossibility that actors, if you

(01:36:00):
want to be an actor, you'regonna have to train to be on a
television show, like it's aplay, where you do two weeks of
rehearsal and everyone comes inand fucking hammers it in two
days because the stage is stillten thousand dollars a day, it's
green room and then you, you doyour performance like a play,
you leave and then a bunch of aispecialists build the entire
thing around you after the factall the cars, all the sets, all

(01:36:23):
the worlds, all the everything.
You just come in wardrobe andyou act like you're in a green
screen yeah in a green room orwhatever an AI room is going to
look like, and then everythingis built around you.
Oh, that's interesting, butyou'll still have to be good
actors who can honestly memorizetheir performances like a play.
That would be cool.

Speaker 1 (01:36:41):
Yeah, I'd be super down for that.

Speaker 2 (01:36:49):
It'd.

Speaker 1 (01:36:49):
You are on no caffeine right now.
Right, I had coffee thismorning, but again, my dog woke
me up at 6.30.

Speaker 2 (01:36:52):
But you just went on a 15-minute absolute heater and
you are not on any.
I don't get talked to orlistened to in a way that you'd
hope.

Speaker 1 (01:36:58):
Are you getting the attention you need?
You're a married man.

Speaker 2 (01:37:01):
I've been with a woman a long time, marcel.
Marcel Shout out, marcel, she'sa queen.

Speaker 1 (01:37:05):
Absolute, marcel.

Speaker 2 (01:37:05):
Shout out, marcel, she's a queen, absolutely the
queen, queen, marcel, she's thebest, but as you know, as an
entertaining man You're a veryfunny guy.

Speaker 1 (01:37:13):
We both are funny people.

Speaker 2 (01:37:14):
Eventually, you just stop making him laugh.
Marcel's not laughing at you,she makes me laugh More than I
make her laugh.
Yeah, at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:37:24):
Yeah, it's true, mahander's just not that charmed
by me anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
Yeah, we more become a guy who works there, and so if
I start going, if I startedgoing on this rant in the same
room as her, she's going to haveto stop me, just for the sake
of the health of ourrelationship.
Yeah, she'd probably leaveshe'd walk out, she'd be like,
keep going the minute youstarted talking about vaudeville

(01:37:49):
.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
She was out.

Speaker 2 (01:37:50):
Yeah, I say a lot of words.
People are like, oh boy, that'snot a closer, he's starting a
new thing.

Speaker 1 (01:37:56):
No, but I find I love your brain.
It's a beautiful brain, thankyou.
You have a beautiful soul and Ithink ultimately, if we were to
wrap it all up, you are deeplyconnected to soul level
activities and tech and all thatstuff is just feels very
soulless and there's so much inthe world that people are doing.

(01:38:16):
I have a bit that I'm workingon where I see a little infant
baby and I'm like you, beautifulsoul, are going to be the
executive assistant for somedegenerate, like that's going to
be your life's purpose.

Speaker 2 (01:38:32):
How do we get a USB in your ass?

Speaker 1 (01:38:34):
Yeah, it's basically just like it's a dark look at
what humans are doing.

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
That's what I mean.
Like maybe AI is just going totake that out of society.
Like I, when you walked up Itold you I'd bought a chainsaw,
right yeah, you were psyched onthat and I trimmed some trees in
my yard.
Feels good.
Let me tell you about thefeeling it gives you yeah, that
kind of work with your hands orI've been going down a rabbit
hole recently of japanesebakeries and this one lady it's

(01:39:01):
her, her grandfather built itfor it's like 40 square feet,
it's just her and she makesenough pastries for this small
town every day.
Everyone fucking loves it.
What a beautiful life.

Speaker 1 (01:39:13):
What a beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:39:15):
That's what I think.
That's where I think work isgoing.
I think, people are going tofind things they do, even being
like plumbers, electricians,things like that.
Where you're like I help peoplewith their house, that's like
very valid work.

Speaker 1 (01:39:30):
I had an electrician show up and I talked to them for
30 minutes because I was like Ithink I want my kids like to
not go to college and justbecome electricians.
What are you?

Speaker 2 (01:39:39):
unless if you want to go to college for art school, I
think I think art school isvalid totally, even though you
can learn.
There's everything out there,but other artists helping you it
speeds up the process likecrazy.

Speaker 1 (01:39:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:39:51):
Being a musician, things like that.
Outside of the arts, businesslike business is going to change
at a pace we can't actuallyimagine Medicine.

Speaker 1 (01:39:59):
Obviously Doctors need to go to college Surgeons
but as far as diagnostic doctors, that's a wrap dog.

Speaker 2 (01:40:06):
That's a wrap, you get a full-body CAT scan and
throw it in the AI machine.
They'll tell you which surgeonto go to.

Speaker 1 (01:40:12):
I think nurses and stuff.
You should be able to go workin a hospital when you're 14, 15
.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
Nurses will still be a thing, because when you're in
a hospital, you'll need a humanto administer shit.

Speaker 1 (01:40:21):
No, yeah, but what I'm saying is the training.
If you know, you want to be anurse, like Well as I'm an
artist, right.
If I had been born 300 yearsago at about age six?

Speaker 2 (01:40:32):
someone would have realized I could draw really
well and I would have gone intoan apprenticeship with another
artist.
I would have mixed their paint,I would have cleaned brushes
and then, after two years, Iwould have been allowed to learn
to draw a foot.

Speaker 1 (01:40:43):
That's what I want to go back to.
It may get there.

Speaker 2 (01:40:47):
I hope so Because, especially if this tariff
situation sticks and we become anation that is trying to
subsist on its own manufacturing.
The prices of things are goingto go up, which is what it was
like maybe 100 years ago, in the1800s, where you bought one
pair of very well-made pants andthose were your pants, by the

(01:41:08):
way—.
And you took care of them.
Youmade pants and those wereyour pants, by the way and you
took care of them.
You had a jacket, you had asuit.
You didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:41:13):
Chelsea Peretti said something.

Speaker 2 (01:41:14):
Chelsea Peretti, by the way, one of the funniest
humans on the planet Shout outChelsea Peretti, One of the best
comedy writers ever, but shewas like a T-shirt shouldn't
cost $2.
If your t-shirt costs $2,that's bad, Really bad.
That's really bad for someonenot here in front of you, but in
another country.
That's really bad for someone.
And we got used to this reallycheap goods, really cheap food,

(01:41:38):
really cheap everything exceptgas.
And it's not.
I think that's what will be.
You don't need okay.
When I was about 28 years old,I cleaned out a closet.
My now ex-wife cleaned out acloset.

Speaker 1 (01:41:50):
She goes do you know how many black t-shirts you have
?
I go.
No, she goes.
You have 57.

Speaker 2 (01:41:55):
I was like you're joking, I have 57 black
skateboards, she goes.
Yeah, I made friends with a guywho had a skate shop.
I'd walk in and be like, dude,we're going to sell shit today
and I'd buy you I didn't need.

Speaker 1 (01:42:06):
You don't need that stuff no, and you you really
don't need stuff you know howgood you feel when you clean out
your closet.

Speaker 2 (01:42:11):
Oh yeah, like a 20 pound shit dude, it's because
you don't need you don't need.
It's all holding us down, sothere may be a fundamental
intellectual vibe shift in howwe relate to objects and
products and things we need Ihope so, and as someone with
kids, emotional layaway dog.

Speaker 1 (01:42:28):
The education system needs a giant retooling the
trade school stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:42:32):
I think my guilt is that I'm just sending my kids
it's free babysitting the firstfive years of your education
should be teaching kids how tobe good people and treat other
people with respect.

Speaker 1 (01:42:41):
They do that pretty well After that should be
compound interest.

Speaker 2 (01:42:44):
How to do your taxes, understanding interest.
How to do your taxesunderstanding finance, realizing
what the how, how, like money,and then figuring out what you
like doing to then make moneythat you then do the right thing
with yeah how credit card debtfucks you like things like that,
yeah, yeah god bless learningabout mesopotamia.
You don't find it interestinguntil you're in your mid-40s,

(01:43:04):
like if you're like hey, this isa mesopotamia documentary.
Like sign me up, where's thepopcorn?
I'm old and sad, but theyhammer you with that shit in
eighth grade.

Speaker 1 (01:43:16):
It's awful.
I was an eighth gradersurrounded by eighth grade girls
.

Speaker 2 (01:43:20):
You want me to think about cuneiform, Are you
ridiculous dude?

Speaker 1 (01:43:24):
It's so stupid.
Will you come back on the podanytime?
I won't go to maine, yeah, yeah, but we'll just do it over the
internet you got all thisequipment, dude, you're locked
and loaded I'm not gonna do apodcast.

Speaker 2 (01:43:36):
This is it I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:43:38):
I'm gonna restart my sticker show, but okay, okay,
you do a sticker show, but Iwant to bring you back on
because we could talk forever,sure, um, but I love you I love
you too.

Speaker 2 (01:43:47):
it was so nice to see you.
Can you guys move back?
Is that a thing?
Is it possible?
If you get this job?

Speaker 1 (01:43:51):
Yeah, but guess where this job shoots Vancouver,
Atlanta, Dude.
One final thing the vibe shiftin LA.
Can you imagine if all thepeople left that couldn't handle
it, and now you have the peoplewho are in the grit, and then
all production came back andthis place could be the sexy
Hollywood place.
We'd all take pay cuts.

Speaker 2 (01:44:13):
Hey, if you're listening, industry we'd all
work for less if you just let uswork.

Speaker 1 (01:44:18):
Come back to.

Speaker 2 (01:44:19):
LA.
The secret to every actor inthe world is all we really want
to do is work.
We want to be on a set becauseagain it's a communal team
experience 100%.

Speaker 1 (01:44:28):
You want to be on a set because, again, it's a
communal team experience 100.

Speaker 2 (01:44:29):
You're high-fiving the camera guy when you get,
when it's a difficult shot andyou get your line right and the
camera moves right and it lookscool.
You're, you're a part of it.
You just scored a touchdown.

Speaker 1 (01:44:37):
Special team score the oldest, the older I get
because I've been working.
We both work.
20 years, yeah, or over 20years.
The every time I'm on set, theolder I I get my mood.
I'm like manic, I'm so happy, Irealize.

Speaker 2 (01:44:51):
I used to notice that with older actors.
All they wanted to do wasfucking nail it.

Speaker 1 (01:44:56):
Nail it hang.

Speaker 2 (01:44:58):
None of the complaining, just to kick it and
doing your job well.

Speaker 1 (01:45:01):
Doing your job well.

Speaker 2 (01:45:02):
Quality.
I love you.
I think there'll be a somethingI think, something will thing I
love you.

Speaker 1 (01:45:08):
I think there'll be a something.
Whatever Be a what, I thinksomething will change.
I hope Come back, please.
Just for those who don't know,there is nothing shooting in LA
for now.

Speaker 2 (01:45:16):
There is, but it's quite small, matlock 50%.

Speaker 1 (01:45:19):
Matlock is shooting here Because Kathy Bates made
that her in her contract.
All right book boy.
All In her contract, all rightbook boy, all the Ryan Murphy
shows.
By the way, it is Wednesday,april 30th and this podcast will
be coming out in six hours andwill function as my suicide note
.
Bye, thank you.