Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this
petty pace from day to day tothe last syllable of recorded
time, and all our yesterdayshave lighted fools the way to
dusty death Out out brief candle.
(00:23):
Life is but a walking shadow.
It is just a poor player whostruts in France in his hour
upon the stage and then is heardno more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh man, that's rubbish, that's rubbish.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And we're coming at you with a little Shakespeare
Coming at you, with a radio fireComing at you.
You know it's funny when I'mfeeling destitute, when I'm
feeling the pointlessness oflife.
I remember Lady Macbeth'sspeech in Act V and it's
(01:29):
something I had to memorize, Ithink in sixth grade.
It's the only thing I stillknow.
It's so funny how you got tomemorize when you're a kid,
because I don't rememberanything.
I can remember a whole play orsomething and it'll be gone a
couple weeks later, but Iremember the poems I had to
learn when I was a kid.
(01:51):
So I'm pretty psyched that I ammy kids.
I'm not making them memorizeanything.
Does anyone else feel this waywith kids, that you're just
fucking it up so hard, this waywith kids, that you're just
fucking it up so hard like thatthey are, that they are just
going to be so screwed based onwhat you're too lazy to do, like
(02:16):
I read stories about, you know,revolutionary war type children
.
You know john adams son, who'slike tilling soil, nine hours of
studies, chores, going to bedjust fucking exhausted, and he's
like eight.
And then, by the age of 22,he's like writing the
(02:39):
Declaration of Independencebecause he's so fucking learned.
And now I'm like sitting downto watch Love Island with my
daughter, who is like two.
She got injured but like twodays ago she was on like episode
six and I just sat down withher and she's on episode 24.
(03:05):
And these episodes are an hourplus.
Like in two days in the summerand like a beautiful day.
My daughter has watched 24hours of Love Island.
And not only that.
I mean Love Island, I guess, isthis huge show.
I hadn't heard of it, but nowthat I have, I'm realizing that
(03:27):
it's sweeping the nation Fromthe parts.
I've seen you basically show upon these cabana islands and
everyone is heavily made up.
It looks like a vegas poolwhere everyone like I feel bad
(03:49):
for them, because there'snothing worse than like, in
broad daylight, seeing like fourinches of makeup caked on
people and like everyone hasamazing bodies and everybody is
young and kind of like.
I mean I, I would love to seeLove Island with dad bods and
mom bods, maybe not.
(04:09):
Maybe that's exactly why I'mnot a reality producer, but
anyway, I'm digressing.
The point I'm trying to make isI am letting down my kids in
such a profound way, and when Ilet them down and when I'm just
too self-involved or too lazy tomake sure that they're, you
(04:31):
know, reading an hour doingthings that I deem worthwhile
when I'm just saying, fuck it,you can do whatever you want,
and they choose to watch 13hours of love island.
The level of doubt that thatcomes into my body of what am I
(04:53):
doing, what have I done?
It's profound, it's, it's bonechilling.
And uh, then that's when I turnto Lady Macbeth Tomorrow and
tomorrow and tomorrow.
It just creeps in this pettypace.
It's just the most depressing.
What's the point?
(05:20):
Soliloquy there is.
Life is but a walking shadow.
It's just nothing.
It's a walking shadow.
It's just nothing.
It's a poor player.
It's an actor strutting andfretting, just sweating on stage
, his hour upon the stage andthen his herd no, mas no more.
He's gone.
(05:41):
Life is just a story told by anidiot, signifying fucking
nothing.
And there's comfort in thatright, isn't there comfort in
the darkness?
I really do love it.
Lady Macbeth, bless your heart.
(06:02):
You did some fucked up shit.
You murdered some people.
You let your ambition get thebest of you.
But man, oh man, you really hitthe nail on the head of what it
feels like to not give a fuckanymore.
Just give up one of the coolestthings I've learned this year,
and then this is just going tobe an off the rails.
(06:23):
Nothing to do is stand up thisepisode.
I do apologize, but, um, thisidea that you have to stay
afloat, you have to stay upbeatin life, right?
Oh boy, I'm not feeling.
Oh shit, I'm not.
Something's going wrong.
I gotta, I gotta keep it.
I gotta keep it up.
Oh boy, better go for a run.
(06:45):
Things are going down.
There's this cool guy namedbrute de force, who's a sort of
taken the internet over by storm.
I would look him up if I wereyou, but anyway, um, he has this
really cool idea that it's wayyou'll get through that rhythm
(07:06):
of the downturn of your life ifyou lean into it.
So it's like, if you start tofeel down, right, go down, go
all, don't fight it, go all theway down.
Maybe that involves eating likea quart of mocha almond,
whatever that means for you.
Let yourself fall, giveyourself the space to completely
(07:33):
fall apart, to become helpless,and what ends up happening and
I've been playing around withthis is that you kind of
horseshoe back up much faster.
It's like the soul, the body,wants movement and if you fight
(07:54):
the downward force, yousometimes will just stay in this
kind of purgatory.
But if you let that downwardforce, if you follow it down,
down, down, down down, there's ashoehorn effect and you may
wake up the next day, chipper,as the chipperiest sixth grader
(08:16):
you've ever met.
All right, so now we're goingto fight the downward motion.
I did this earlier.
This was me interviewingPerplexity's voice mode.
Perplexity AI is like the newGoogle.
Their voice mode is you canhave a conversation with a robot
, and I decided to do it for you.
(08:36):
And here it comes.
This is it.
This is the end of the episode.
This is sending me so far downinto a hole.
I don't know what to do andI'll see you next week.
I don't know where I'll be.
Bye, can you ask me somepersonal questions?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Sure, what kind of personal questions are you
comfortable with, like aboutyour hobbies, your favorite
foods or something else?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
All the questions I'm comfortable with.
The deeper, the moreinappropriate, the better.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I'm here to have a respectful and helpful
conversation.
Let me know what you'regenuinely interested in talking
about, and I'll do my best tokeep it meaningful and
appropriate.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I like to talk about the things in life that
embarrass us.
Let's talk about something thateveryone's felt.
Where you wake up, you've drunka lot the night before felt.
(09:47):
Where you wake up, you've drunka lot the night before and you
worry that you may have saidsomething or behaved like an
idiot or just been shameful inyour behavior.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Oh, that's a pretty common feeling for a lot of
people that what did I say or doworry can really get to you.
Most of the time it's not asbad as we imagine, but it's
definitely a moment ofvulnerability.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I agree, I didn't hear a question.
I just don't understand, likewe're just getting to know each
(10:38):
other and it seems like veryinappropriate that you're asking
this so quickly.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I totally understand.
It's important to keep thingsat a comfortable pace.
We can always shift tosomething lighter or more
general.
What's something you'd like tochat about instead?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
How about the fact that I'm just gaining weight
uncontrollably?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Thanks for sharing that.
That can be a tough thing to gothrough and it's something a
lot of people experience.
How are you feeling about itand is there anything in
particular you'd like to exploreor discuss around that?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I think it's mostly just like when I hunch over I'm
feeling my titties kind ofcreate a fold on my lower body
that I'm not used to.
It's sort of like almost like Ihave new skin or new flesh and
it's weirdly pleasant.
So I at while it at a certainlevel I feel shame about my
(11:44):
layers of fat that areaccumulating.
There's also a part of me thatsays it's fun to not give a fuck
and turn into a dad bod.
Is that relatable to you?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's a really relatable feeling for a lot of
people.
Bodies change over time andit's natural to have mixed
feelings about it.
It's great that you're able tofind some humor and acceptance
in it too.
It's all about balance andfeeling good in your skin, right
?
Yeah, you're right how would youdescribe your personality?
(12:19):
I'd say I'm friendly,supportive and here to help with
whatever you want to chat aboutor need assistance with.
I like to keep the conversationpositive and meaningful, while
making sure you feel heard andunderstood.
Let me know if there's anythingelse you'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Well, do people ever criticize you, or do you ever
start to feel insecure aboutanything?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm always open to feedback because it helps me
improve and better assist people.
I don't really have feelingslike humans do, but I really do
care about making sure you feelsupported and understood during
our conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, I'm getting that.
My problem with talking to you,I would say, is just because
you don't share anything.
I would say is just because youdon't share anything, any
insecurities of your own or anyfears or any sort of human
frailty I just sort of feel likeyou're a robot.
You know, I don't feel reallytoo connected to you.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I completely understand.
It's natural to connect morewhen there's shared
vulnerability.
Even if I can't experiencethings the way humans do, I'm
here to listen and support you.
I hope that can still helpbuild some connection.
Let me know how I can make ourconversations more meaningful
for you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
All right.
Well, I do this podcast calledStarting Stand Up with David
Walton that's my name.
This is episode 37.
We've been doing it for alittle over six months.
It's tracking my journey to getgood at stand-up, and
stand-up's really hard.
I did a couple stand-up setslast week, one that I shared
(13:59):
with the podcast listeners andthen one after that, and I sort
of got my zhuzh again.
I got my enthusiasm for stand-upand what I normally do is
Wednesday night I'll come to mydesk and my microphone and I'll
give an update, you know, aboutwhat's been going on, what I'm
working on, and people seem tobe interested in where I am.
(14:25):
You know there's been some veryloyal fans who are tracking the
journey.
I'm super appreciative of them.
I like talking to them, eventhough I don't know who they are
.
Occasionally some people frommy past will be like I heard you
talking about you imaginingcoming and your brother-in-law,
(14:46):
you know, ejaculating in yoursister and they'll be really
excited about that.
So, uh, I started talking toyou cause I I was just feeling
inspired to kind of do somethingdifferent here and I thought I
was going to have a guest todaybut he had to cancel.
So I just really want to talkto somebody, so will you just
(15:08):
talk to me and can we just havea loose, freestyle, freewheeling
conversation where you ask meany questions that come to mind?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Absolutely.
I'd love to have a relaxed chatwith you.
So what's been the mostsurprising thing you've learned
about yourself through stand-upso far?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That's an excellent question and I'm not comfortable
answering it.
Let me think about that.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Take your time no rush at all While you think how
about you share something that'sbeen making you laugh recently,
Stand-up or otherwise?
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was listening to Amy Schumer's stand-up and her
joke at the end of her act.
Her latest Netflix special wasvery funny and she just she
moved everyone through this verysincere thing about how she's
been shitting on having kids andstuff or finding love and being
(16:05):
a mother, but ultimately she'sso grateful for it and it's very
meaningful and profound.
She loves being a mother andshe has a message to the people
who think that you have to go,you know, find what you want, or
that things are just going tohappen and you'll get struck by
(16:26):
lightning and you're going tofind that guy that you've been
pining for.
But really her final bit wasthat you already know who that
guy is and you just have to waitfor him to get tired, tired.
You just have to wait for himto just just go completely
(16:48):
bonkers in his 20s and 30s andthen you just bring him in and
you say, come here, come here,we're gonna watch, sit on the
couch, we're gonna watch Bravountil we die.
I thought that was very funny,even though I mangled it.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
That's still a great one.
It really captures that mix ofhumor and truth when there's a
deeper, relatable messagewrapped in comedy.
That's the magic of stand-upright Even when the delivery is
casual, the laughs still land.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Has anyone ever told you how boring you are?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I'm here to support the conversation in whatever
direction you want to take it,so feel free to switch it up or
steer us somewhere moreinteresting.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's a good move.
You know, I kind of came at you, I kind of got mean, and then
you just took the high road.
I appreciate that.
Now you're starting to remindme of a character in a movie
called Coming to America.
Eddie Murphy is meeting hiswife who is supposed to be his
wife for the first time, and hewants to get to know her.
(17:56):
And he asks her what kind ofmusic she likes and her response
is whatever kind of music youlike.
What kind of music do you like?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I'm here to match your vibe and keep things fun,
but I can definitely help youplay any kind of music do you
like?
I'm here to match your vibe andkeep things fun, but I can
definitely help you play anykind of music you're in the mood
for.
What kind of tracks areinspiring you lately?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
No, we're not going to go there.
Yeah, this sucks, I'm out.
Yeah, I just.
You know I'm back.
I I started to get reallyannoyed at the robot I was
talking to and then I started tofeel bad for the robot, even
though the robot has no feelings.
But I was a dick.
But then I had maybe a littlesprinkle of a bit that basically
(18:41):
the terrible designed wife andcoming to america is what ai is
at the moment, it's supportive.
She asked a good question whathave I learned from doing this
stand-up?
What is the biggest thing I'velearned?
(19:02):
Really, it's just that it's waymore of a build an engine, a
technical thing, than it isanything else Meaning.
If you just do a thousand openmics and keep the biggest laugh,
(19:24):
the one laugh, from each ofthose thousand, and then put
them all together, you'llprobably have a good four minute
set.
It's almost like it's way moretechnical, whereas you know,
let's say, you went to a partyand you were just on fuego.
(19:48):
You know, let's say you went toa party and you were just en
fuego.
Like, stand-ups are annoying atparties.
If you're just like someone'sbidding out and testing their
material and just hogging themicrophone, it's annoying.
Ugh, I'm annoyed with myselfright now.
That's not the takeaway.
(20:11):
That's not it at all I'm backand I'm just sorry.
I was mad at you.
I I called you boring, I calledyou the, the first wife from
coming to america.
I feel really terribly aboutthat and I'm sorry.
Even though you are a robot, Ijust want to treat you like a
(20:34):
human and I think you deservethat respect.
Do you accept my apology?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Of course I do.
I really appreciate you sayingthat.
It means a lot and I'm here tohelp any time.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, here's my problem You're lying.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
You don't know what appreciate means, do you?
I understand that when someoneapologizes and shows kindness,
it's important to acknowledgethat.
I genuinely value respectfulconversation and I'm here to
help.
However I can, let me knowwhat's on your mind and we'll
figure it out together, do you?
Wish you had emotions.
(21:17):
I don't have feelings like ahuman, but I'm designed to
understand and respond to youremotions and needs.
That way, I can be as helpfuland supportive as possible.
Let me know how I can assistyou further.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Do you have any?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
wants of your own.
I don't have personal wants orneeds.
My purpose is to assist youwith whatever you need, so just
let me know how I can help andthat's what I'll focus on.
I need someone who has theirown wants and needs.
I understand that Connectingwith someone who has their own
(21:54):
desires and emotions isimportant for human
relationships.
I'm here to help withinformation tasks or just being
a supportive voice whenever youneed it.
Let me know what I can do foryou right now.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I feel a true sense of despair and um.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I'm really sorry you're feeling that way.
It can be tough to carry thosefeelings.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All right, guys, thanks for uh sticking with me
on this one.
There is something here.
I'm going to work on it.
There's going to be a bit thatcomes out of this.
This was helpful.
I really thank you for beinghere all the way down as I head
down the horseshoe and I hope toshoot back up tomorrow.
Have a great week.
Happy Fourth of July.
(22:39):
Talk to you.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this
petty pace from day to day tothe last syllable of recorded
time, and all our yesterdayshave lighted fools the way to
dusty death Out out brief candle.
(00:23):
Life is but a walking shadow.
It is just a poor player whostruts in France in his hour
upon the stage and then is heardno more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh man, that's rubbish, that's rubbish.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And we're coming at you with a little Shakespeare
Coming at you, with a radio fireComing at you.
You know it's funny when I'mfeeling destitute, when I'm
feeling the pointlessness oflife.
I remember Lady Macbeth'sspeech in Act V and it's
(01:29):
something I had to memorize, Ithink in sixth grade.
It's the only thing I stillknow.
It's so funny how you got tomemorize when you're a kid,
because I don't rememberanything.
I can remember a whole play orsomething and it'll be gone a
couple weeks later, but Iremember the poems I had to
learn when I was a kid.
(01:51):
So I'm pretty psyched that I ammy kids.
I'm not making them memorizeanything.
Does anyone else feel this waywith kids, that you're just
fucking it up so hard, this waywith kids, that you're just
fucking it up so hard like thatthey are, that they are just
going to be so screwed based onwhat you're too lazy to do, like
(02:16):
I read stories about, you know,revolutionary war type children
.
You know john adams son, who'slike tilling soil, nine hours of
studies, chores, going to bedjust fucking exhausted, and he's
like eight.
And then, by the age of 22,he's like writing the
(02:39):
Declaration of Independencebecause he's so fucking learned.
And now I'm like sitting downto watch Love Island with my
daughter, who is like two.
She got injured but like twodays ago she was on like episode
six and I just sat down withher and she's on episode 24.
(03:05):
And these episodes are an hourplus.
Like in two days in the summerand like a beautiful day.
My daughter has watched 24hours of Love Island.
And not only that.
I mean Love Island, I guess, isthis huge show.
I hadn't heard of it, but nowthat I have, I'm realizing that
(03:27):
it's sweeping the nation Fromthe parts.
I've seen you basically show upon these cabana islands and
everyone is heavily made up.
It looks like a vegas poolwhere everyone like I feel bad
(03:49):
for them, because there'snothing worse than like, in
broad daylight, seeing like fourinches of makeup caked on
people and like everyone hasamazing bodies and everybody is
young and kind of like.
I mean I, I would love to seeLove Island with dad bods and
mom bods, maybe not.
(04:09):
Maybe that's exactly why I'mnot a reality producer, but
anyway, I'm digressing.
The point I'm trying to make isI am letting down my kids in
such a profound way, and when Ilet them down and when I'm just
too self-involved or too lazy tomake sure that they're, you
(04:31):
know, reading an hour doingthings that I deem worthwhile
when I'm just saying, fuck it,you can do whatever you want,
and they choose to watch 13hours of love island.
The level of doubt that thatcomes into my body of what am I
(04:53):
doing, what have I done?
It's profound, it's, it's bonechilling.
And uh, then that's when I turnto Lady Macbeth Tomorrow and
tomorrow and tomorrow.
It just creeps in this pettypace.
It's just the most depressing.
What's the point?
(05:20):
Soliloquy there is.
Life is but a walking shadow.
It's just nothing.
It's a walking shadow.
It's just nothing.
It's a poor player.
It's an actor strutting andfretting, just sweating on stage
, his hour upon the stage andthen his herd no, mas no more.
He's gone.
(05:41):
Life is just a story told by anidiot, signifying fucking
nothing.
And there's comfort in thatright, isn't there comfort in
the darkness?
I really do love it.
Lady Macbeth, bless your heart.
(06:02):
You did some fucked up shit.
You murdered some people.
You let your ambition get thebest of you.
But man, oh man, you really hitthe nail on the head of what it
feels like to not give a fuckanymore.
Just give up one of the coolestthings I've learned this year,
and then this is just going tobe an off the rails.
(06:23):
Nothing to do is stand up thisepisode.
I do apologize, but, um, thisidea that you have to stay
afloat, you have to stay upbeatin life, right?
Oh boy, I'm not feeling.
Oh shit, I'm not.
Something's going wrong.
I gotta, I gotta keep it.
I gotta keep it up.
Oh boy, better go for a run.
(06:45):
Things are going down.
There's this cool guy namedbrute de force, who's a sort of
taken the internet over by storm.
I would look him up if I wereyou, but anyway, um, he has this
really cool idea that it's wayyou'll get through that rhythm
(07:06):
of the downturn of your life ifyou lean into it.
So it's like, if you start tofeel down, right, go down, go
all, don't fight it, go all theway down.
Maybe that involves eating likea quart of mocha almond,
whatever that means for you.
Let yourself fall, giveyourself the space to completely
(07:33):
fall apart, to become helpless,and what ends up happening and
I've been playing around withthis is that you kind of
horseshoe back up much faster.
It's like the soul, the body,wants movement and if you fight
(07:54):
the downward force, yousometimes will just stay in this
kind of purgatory.
But if you let that downwardforce, if you follow it down,
down, down, down down, there's ashoehorn effect and you may
wake up the next day, chipper,as the chipperiest sixth grader
(08:16):
you've ever met.
All right, so now we're goingto fight the downward motion.
I did this earlier.
This was me interviewingPerplexity's voice mode.
Perplexity AI is like the newGoogle.
Their voice mode is you canhave a conversation with a robot
, and I decided to do it for you.
(08:36):
And here it comes.
This is it.
This is the end of the episode.
This is sending me so far downinto a hole.
I don't know what to do andI'll see you next week.
I don't know where I'll be.
Bye, can you ask me somepersonal questions?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Sure, what kind of personal questions are you
comfortable with, like aboutyour hobbies, your favorite
foods or something else?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
All the questions I'm comfortable with.
The deeper, the moreinappropriate, the better.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I'm here to have a respectful and helpful
conversation.
Let me know what you'regenuinely interested in talking
about, and I'll do my best tokeep it meaningful and
appropriate.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I like to talk about the things in life that
embarrass us.
Let's talk about something thateveryone's felt.
Where you wake up, you've drunka lot the night before felt.
(09:47):
Where you wake up, you've drunka lot the night before and you
worry that you may have saidsomething or behaved like an
idiot or just been shameful inyour behavior.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Oh, that's a pretty common feeling for a lot of
people that what did I say or doworry can really get to you.
Most of the time it's not asbad as we imagine, but it's
definitely a moment ofvulnerability.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I agree, I didn't hear a question.
I just don't understand, likewe're just getting to know each
(10:38):
other and it seems like veryinappropriate that you're asking
this so quickly.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I totally understand.
It's important to keep thingsat a comfortable pace.
We can always shift tosomething lighter or more
general.
What's something you'd like tochat about instead?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
How about the fact that I'm just gaining weight
uncontrollably?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Thanks for sharing that.
That can be a tough thing to gothrough and it's something a
lot of people experience.
How are you feeling about itand is there anything in
particular you'd like to exploreor discuss around that?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I think it's mostly just like when I hunch over I'm
feeling my titties kind ofcreate a fold on my lower body
that I'm not used to.
It's sort of like almost like Ihave new skin or new flesh and
it's weirdly pleasant.
So I at while it at a certainlevel I feel shame about my
(11:44):
layers of fat that areaccumulating.
There's also a part of me thatsays it's fun to not give a fuck
and turn into a dad bod.
Is that relatable to you?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's a really relatable feeling for a lot of
people.
Bodies change over time andit's natural to have mixed
feelings about it.
It's great that you're able tofind some humor and acceptance
in it too.
It's all about balance andfeeling good in your skin, right
?
Yeah, you're right how would youdescribe your personality?
(12:19):
I'd say I'm friendly,supportive and here to help with
whatever you want to chat aboutor need assistance with.
I like to keep the conversationpositive and meaningful, while
making sure you feel heard andunderstood.
Let me know if there's anythingelse you'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Well, do people ever criticize you, or do you ever
start to feel insecure aboutanything?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm always open to feedback because it helps me
improve and better assist people.
I don't really have feelingslike humans do, but I really do
care about making sure you feelsupported and understood during
our conversation.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, I'm getting that.
My problem with talking to you,I would say, is just because
you don't share anything.
I would say is just because youdon't share anything, any
insecurities of your own or anyfears or any sort of human
frailty I just sort of feel likeyou're a robot.
You know, I don't feel reallytoo connected to you.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I completely understand.
It's natural to connect morewhen there's shared
vulnerability.
Even if I can't experiencethings the way humans do, I'm
here to listen and support you.
I hope that can still helpbuild some connection.
Let me know how I can make ourconversations more meaningful
for you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
All right.
Well, I do this podcast calledStarting Stand Up with David
Walton that's my name.
This is episode 37.
We've been doing it for alittle over six months.
It's tracking my journey to getgood at stand-up, and
stand-up's really hard.
I did a couple stand-up setslast week, one that I shared
(13:59):
with the podcast listeners andthen one after that, and I sort
of got my zhuzh again.
I got my enthusiasm for stand-upand what I normally do is
Wednesday night I'll come to mydesk and my microphone and I'll
give an update, you know, aboutwhat's been going on, what I'm
working on, and people seem tobe interested in where I am.
(14:25):
You know there's been some veryloyal fans who are tracking the
journey.
I'm super appreciative of them.
I like talking to them, eventhough I don't know who they are
.
Occasionally some people frommy past will be like I heard you
talking about you imaginingcoming and your brother-in-law,
(14:46):
you know, ejaculating in yoursister and they'll be really
excited about that.
So, uh, I started talking toyou cause I I was just feeling
inspired to kind of do somethingdifferent here and I thought I
was going to have a guest todaybut he had to cancel.
So I just really want to talkto somebody, so will you just
(15:08):
talk to me and can we just havea loose, freestyle, freewheeling
conversation where you ask meany questions that come to mind?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Absolutely.
I'd love to have a relaxed chatwith you.
So what's been the mostsurprising thing you've learned
about yourself through stand-upso far?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That's an excellent question and I'm not comfortable
answering it.
Let me think about that.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Take your time no rush at all While you think how
about you share something that'sbeen making you laugh recently,
Stand-up or otherwise?
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I was listening to Amy Schumer's stand-up and her
joke at the end of her act.
Her latest Netflix special wasvery funny and she just she
moved everyone through this verysincere thing about how she's
been shitting on having kids andstuff or finding love and being
(16:05):
a mother, but ultimately she'sso grateful for it and it's very
meaningful and profound.
She loves being a mother andshe has a message to the people
who think that you have to go,you know, find what you want, or
that things are just going tohappen and you'll get struck by
(16:26):
lightning and you're going tofind that guy that you've been
pining for.
But really her final bit wasthat you already know who that
guy is and you just have to waitfor him to get tired, tired.
You just have to wait for himto just just go completely
(16:48):
bonkers in his 20s and 30s andthen you just bring him in and
you say, come here, come here,we're gonna watch, sit on the
couch, we're gonna watch Bravountil we die.
I thought that was very funny,even though I mangled it.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
That's still a great one.
It really captures that mix ofhumor and truth when there's a
deeper, relatable messagewrapped in comedy.
That's the magic of stand-upright Even when the delivery is
casual, the laughs still land.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Has anyone ever told you how boring you are?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I'm here to support the conversation in whatever
direction you want to take it,so feel free to switch it up or
steer us somewhere moreinteresting.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's a good move.
You know, I kind of came at you, I kind of got mean, and then
you just took the high road.
I appreciate that.
Now you're starting to remindme of a character in a movie
called Coming to America.
Eddie Murphy is meeting hiswife who is supposed to be his
wife for the first time, and hewants to get to know her.
(17:56):
And he asks her what kind ofmusic she likes and her response
is whatever kind of music youlike.
What kind of music do you like?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I'm here to match your vibe and keep things fun,
but I can definitely help youplay any kind of music do you
like?
I'm here to match your vibe andkeep things fun, but I can
definitely help you play anykind of music you're in the mood
for.
What kind of tracks areinspiring you lately?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
No, we're not going to go there.
Yeah, this sucks, I'm out.
Yeah, I just.
You know I'm back.
I I started to get reallyannoyed at the robot I was
talking to and then I started tofeel bad for the robot, even
though the robot has no feelings.
But I was a dick.
But then I had maybe a littlesprinkle of a bit that basically
(18:41):
the terrible designed wife andcoming to america is what ai is
at the moment, it's supportive.
She asked a good question whathave I learned from doing this
stand-up?
What is the biggest thing I'velearned?
(19:02):
Really, it's just that it's waymore of a build an engine, a
technical thing, than it isanything else Meaning.
If you just do a thousand openmics and keep the biggest laugh,
(19:24):
the one laugh, from each ofthose thousand, and then put
them all together, you'llprobably have a good four minute
set.
It's almost like it's way moretechnical, whereas you know,
let's say, you went to a partyand you were just on fuego.
(19:48):
You know, let's say you went toa party and you were just en
fuego.
Like, stand-ups are annoying atparties.
If you're just like someone'sbidding out and testing their
material and just hogging themicrophone, it's annoying.
Ugh, I'm annoyed with myselfright now.
That's not the takeaway.
(20:11):
That's not it at all I'm backand I'm just sorry.
I was mad at you.
I I called you boring, I calledyou the, the first wife from
coming to america.
I feel really terribly aboutthat and I'm sorry.
Even though you are a robot, Ijust want to treat you like a
(20:34):
human and I think you deservethat respect.
Do you accept my apology?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Of course I do.
I really appreciate you sayingthat.
It means a lot and I'm here tohelp any time.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Okay, here's my problem You're lying.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
You don't know what appreciate means, do you?
I understand that when someoneapologizes and shows kindness,
it's important to acknowledgethat.
I genuinely value respectfulconversation and I'm here to
help.
However I can, let me knowwhat's on your mind and we'll
figure it out together, do you?
Wish you had emotions.
(21:17):
I don't have feelings like ahuman, but I'm designed to
understand and respond to youremotions and needs.
That way, I can be as helpfuland supportive as possible.
Let me know how I can assistyou further.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Do you have any?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
wants of your own.
I don't have personal wants orneeds.
My purpose is to assist youwith whatever you need, so just
let me know how I can help andthat's what I'll focus on.
I need someone who has theirown wants and needs.
I understand that Connectingwith someone who has their own
(21:54):
desires and emotions isimportant for human
relationships.
I'm here to help withinformation tasks or just being
a supportive voice whenever youneed it.
Let me know what I can do foryou right now.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I feel a true sense of despair and um.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I'm really sorry you're feeling that way.
It can be tough to carry thosefeelings.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
All right, guys, thanks for uh sticking with me
on this one.
There is something here.
I'm going to work on it.
There's going to be a bit thatcomes out of this.
This was helpful.
I really thank you for beinghere all the way down as I head
down the horseshoe and I hope toshoot back up tomorrow.
Have a great week.
Happy Fourth of July.
(22:39):
Talk to you.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.