Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Okay, it's summer, everybody, and the wheels are
off.
Yeah, wheels are completely off, welcome.
Hope everyone is having a greatsummer.
Currently sipping a Diet Cokewith Mount Gay Rum, I'm pretty
sure I've had a beer I don'tknow every day for the last
three weeks At least one beer Idon't know, every day for the
(00:28):
last three weeks, at least one.
My current move is to is to havea few beers around 5 PM before
dinner and then basically crashso hard after dinner.
It's like you want that emptystomach buzz and then you kind
of delay dinner and then you'relike I need to eat something and
then you eat, and then you.
And then you're like I need toeat something and then you eat,
and then you and then you'relike what's the point of
drinking after I eat, right, amI right?
(00:49):
So I'm hoping by the end of thesummer to get to the point
where I don't need dinner and Ican just maybe.
The move is huge lunch, huge,huge lunch straight into into a
walk, nap, then begin drinkingand then just maybe like half a
(01:13):
cup of soup for dinner and cockypoos oh man, that's rubbish.
(01:46):
That's rubbish, I think, theinside of the mind of a summer
Summer alcoholic.
I'm a seasonal alcoholic.
That's what I am Basically,don't drink much at all Fall,
winter, spring, and then I builda deep, deep reservoir and then
I can just absolutely tear allsummer.
Wow, there's an incrediblybeautiful full orange moon
(02:10):
rising above the ocean right now.
I wish you could all see it.
I bet it's about 10 feet offthe ocean.
Huge, I'm going to have to lookup what that kind of moon that
is.
Damn.
I'm going to have to look upwhat kind of moon that is Damn.
I want you to let me know ifthis sound makes you want to
(02:42):
make yourself a drink.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
How are you things?
Nice, you guys working hard.
When are you taking vacation?
Yeah, august is the best.
I mean, those days are gettingshorter, of course, and there's
that sweet melancholy of knowingthe summers are almost over,
but I think august is the timeto take your two weeks.
(03:04):
You know when are you headed.
Oh, cool, yeah, is it crowdedthen?
Yeah, no, I went to thevineyard once when I was 18.
Yeah, my friend had a compound,but then they went broke and
had to sell it.
Yeah, no one could afford it.
You know what I mean?
That sort of multi-generationalloss thing?
(03:25):
Yeah, totally.
I know Things are getting moreexpensive.
All these places are going tobe gone soon, filled with
private equity douchebags, youknow what I mean?
Yeah, no, but we got to protectit.
That's why we don't allow anyJews, black people or lesbians
into the club.
Right, yeah, all right, right,good to see you, ma'am.
(03:49):
Okay, that was my impression ofa racist wasp club man.
Hope you enjoyed that.
Moving on things I've seen thisweek, things that have bothered
me, things that, uh, I'mobserving about the world.
So first, I'm just reallypissed at jerry.
Jerry seinfeld canceled on theinterview again, um, so that's
(04:14):
why it's just me tonight.
I do apologize.
I know a lot of you came to seejerry talk and promote, but I
promise we'll have him on later.
But I think this is going to beeven better.
This is going to be, you know,six or seven minutes of me
verbal diarying in, and that'salways fun.
Number three mouth just going.
(04:34):
Number three from my mouth, noone thing I'm doing.
Cool this week is some, um,manifestation techniques.
Now there's a lot of woo-woo outin the world and some of you
listening may be balls deep inwoo-woo.
And when I say woo-woo I meanW-O-O space.
(04:55):
W-o-o that is slang for thekind of spiritual new age stuff
that is rampant all over media.
If that, if you're into that,or you throw your nose up at it
or you say look at those fuckingwoo woo tools, look how broke
(05:20):
they are, look how they're allrecovering drug addicts, and you
have a cynical view of it all.
By the way, all are valid.
All points of view are valid.
I think I have a unique anglebecause I have one foot in the
(05:41):
ultra douchebag world of highfinance and privilege and prep
school and ivy league educationand extremely wealthy people,
and I have access to all of thatand at the same time and those
(06:01):
people are decidedly not woo wooand at the same time, and those
people are decidedly notwoo-woo and at the same time, I
gravitate very intrinsically,very intuitively, very deep
level to that stuff.
As I probably mentioned before,I would happily, happily, go on
a three-month silent retreatand completely evacuate my
(06:23):
entire life.
Sayonara, goodbye kids, goodbyewife.
Daddy needs some peace and somerest.
However, in the Indian culture,they call this you're a
householder, and what's reallycool about it is I'm going to
mangle this, but fuck it.
You know, in the Easternreligions, in this sort of Hindu
(06:47):
culture in India.
They have these caste systemsright and whatever you're born
into, that's what you're goingto do.
So if you're like a stonecarver, you're just a stone
carver.
You don't have this ambition tobe something more.
And obviously India is changingrapidly and there's this giant
emerging middle class in India.
(07:08):
However, the caste systemcreated a situation where you
basically had wandering sadhus.
They were called sadhus orbasically holy men who were
basically beggars and you justwander around India but you were
(07:29):
a holy man.
So people like took youseriously and they gave you
money, not because, you know,they wanted to feel good about
themselves at a traffic light,uh, with their kids in the back,
but because they believed thatyou know, know you needed.
They wanted to support yourspiritual development.
Now, in India, a sadhu S-A-D-Uwas someone who in general, like
(07:56):
if a sadhu rolled into Americathey would look like a
schizophrenic homeless person,but in India there's a certain
level of respect.
They call it a Kundalini crisis.
Kundalini, for those who don'tknow, is the coiled serpent of
energy that is lying dormant atthe base of your spine.
(08:17):
So if you ever get intomeditation, you ever want to
learn, you know, kind of go allthe way in a lot of the
practices.
There's something calledkundalini yoga, of course, but a
lot of the practices will be tounlock, unleash the dormant
energy that is lying, coiled andready at the base of your spine
(08:41):
.
And when that energy isactually released, people will
report massive states of bliss,joy, oneness with the world,
egoless rapture.
(09:01):
I am taking my gum out on that,I am sorry.
Of course, we could allcategorize this under woo-woo,
w-o-o, w-o-o and I, likePareto's principle, which you
probably are aware of, is that80-20 principle, which is
(09:21):
basically, like you know, youlook at a garden and all the
let's call them pea pods aregrowing and 20% of the pea pods
create 80% of the peas.
Uh, 20% of your clients create80% of the profits.
There is a weird naturalproportion to productivity in
(09:45):
the universe and it's generallyabides by 80-20, 90-10.
It's not exact math, but youget the idea.
Applied to woo-woo in thatwoo-woo world are complete
(10:09):
frauds and jokes and ultimately,if you're going to run into
someone like that, which oddsare you will?
You're going to write it offand you should.
The problem with that is thatyou're going to miss out on the
people who actually are superlegit and I promise you it's
(10:32):
legit.
I promise you most of thecraziest shit you've ever heard
on some level is legit.
So whether it's psychic shit orworld systems, ghosts, you know
what have you All the stuff.
(10:52):
That's so easy because you canjust disprove it by saying I've
never seen it or there's no realhard, concrete scientific
evidence.
It's very easy to be thatperson.
It's extremely easy.
However, I don't believe it.
I just believe it's all goingon.
(11:13):
I mean, the truth is, who arewe?
We with our rudimentary fivesenses Sight, smell, hearing,
touch.
What's the fifth one?
I don't even remember, remember.
All I know is it's rudimentary.
So my point here and I'mrambling, my point really is is
(11:39):
that the woo-woo world I loveand I think I have a unique
angle in which I have one footin the world.
Let's just, for the sake ofsimplicity, call it private
equity, wall Street,douchebaggery, privilege, idiocy
(12:01):
.
I'm very comfortable in thatworld and I actually find the
people in it to be hilarious,even though they are the enemies
of 99% of the world.
I think there's a lot offucking hilariousness in it.
So I have a genuine affectionfor people that would probably
(12:23):
be murdered by the proletariatand, at the same time, I have a
massive affection for the worldof woo-woo and so what I'm
trying to do is figure out, evenjust through stand-up is to
(12:45):
bridge these two disparateworlds, and I don't know how to
do it.
I mean, I think I'm trying.
The answer hasn't revealeditself to me.
I once did a video, I don't knowfive years ago, called like
meditation, a white clawmeditation.
It was about, you know, a brojust meditating on his love for
(13:09):
white claw and actually it wasgreat.
I mean, I'm meaning it was areally fun to do and you know it
was well received.
But my point is only this thishas been a deep through line.
When I did my two yearmeditation training, uh, we
would sit around and we'd talkabout like visions for the
future and talk about visionsfor the future, and what were
(13:30):
you going to do with thistraining?
And there was a deep part of methat wanted me to basically
bring mindfulness to date rapers.
Not that I ever met a dateraper, but like what is the
(13:51):
quintessential stereotypical?
Like college double pop collar,college boy in a fraternity?
For a vast majority of humanbeings it's like that dude is
gonna rape me and he's gonnalike high five, his southern
buddies now, obviously I don't,but I don't see people black and
white and I think, because Ican speak the language of an
(14:15):
idiot frat boy, I think I canget them to chill a little bit.
Chill with the misogyny, chillwith the.
Yeah, any, any inclination togo and do something horrible?
Just chill with the, the machodouchery.
(14:39):
Does that make sense?
I hope it does.
Hey, update on love island.
I just went down to get a drinkhalfway through the recording
and my daughter was watchingLove Island again and alone, and
the girls were screaming eatthat kitty.
(14:59):
While grinding on the couch.
I believe the connection theyreferred to the sex that she
just had as a journey.
She was really pleased with thelevel of connection that she
was having with this beardedgentleman and then everyone was
giddy, and rightly so.
(15:20):
It's very sweet, you know, whenyour friend finally makes love.
It is very exciting andeveryone should rejoice Because
lovemaking, as we all can agree,is the best thing in the world.
But it is interesting to watchextremely scantily clad women
(15:42):
simultaneously singing eat thatkitty while grinding on a couch.
And then you look over andyou're 13.
You just turned.
The 13 year old daughter isjust looking at it, like, like,
like, sheepishly, and you'relike maybe I I really shouldn't
(16:02):
have been a parent and becauseultimately I don't, I cared in
the beginning I was like I, Icannot support the, the watching
of this show.
I mean, this is a show in whichhuman beings walk on onto an
island with six men tied up bytheir hands, blindfolded, and
(16:26):
then these two new womenintroduced just go around hard
making out I mean, justgrotesque French kissing of just
complete strangers who weretied up.
And I really do have a nauseawhen I watch it.
All the makeup caked on the newand it's like the cameras are
(16:52):
rolling.
It's just a way of gettingpeople to know if they're good
kissers.
Then they rate the kissing andyou're just like what is this
doing to my daughter's brain?
And then you text your wife andyou go do you understand what
this show is?
And then she texts back.
I think this is good for someonewho isn't already feeling
(17:15):
sexual you know deep sexualurges to watch because it will
teach her what not to do.
And then you're like, well,maybe or maybe I'm going to walk
in on a house party and all thedudes are going to be tied up
(17:38):
and everyone's going to bestrangers, mimicking Love Island
.
Anyway, evidently little did Iknow back when I was protesting
that this show has swept thenation and that everybody's
watching it and that they'rehaving like parties and bars for
everyone to watch it.
And so look, if my 13 year oldonce gets caught up in the pop
(17:59):
culture summer moment, so be it.
Um, we don't want to get leftbehind.
But man, oh man, it is a verystrange feeling.
So, anyway, eat that kitty.
That's the new song of thesummer.
(18:22):
I think this really points tothe broader problem, which is
that I believe I am turning intoan FCC parent.
You know the ones in the 80s whowere like stop MTV, mtv off the
air.
The older I get, the more Ibelieve that you are programmed
(18:48):
by media.
You know that old saying youare the average of the five
people you hang around with.
The most like who you hang outwith has a huge impact on your
intellect.
What you're into.
There's an alternative versionof that, which is that you are.
You are the result ofeverything you consume, and if
(19:10):
you're mindlessly consumingalgorithmic nonsense, your brain
is going to turn intoalgorithmic nonsense if you're
consuming and studying thegreatest minds on earth or
science, or you're obsessed withsomething like it's just common
sense that you're gonna thinkyou're thinking and what you're
(19:34):
into is gonna, is gonna molditself into what you're
consuming.
So I think the media youconsume is actually way more
important than you think.
I think it's influencing you onobviously conscious but
subconscious levels.
(19:54):
So take a human being who'snever seen a commercial, who's
never watched reality television, who doesn't watch the news,
who simply reads great novels,interacts with those around him,
takes in the best movies andstudies the greatest thinkers
(20:16):
and people of our time, theirthoughts, listens to deep
podcasts, is just constantlyconsuming really, really high
level content.
That human being that sort of,I mean, is going to be, I think,
operating on a whole otherlevel, a level that I think is
(20:38):
well.
I'll say this I would want formy kids If I could design their
life, of course, I would wantkids that are just like
completely bathing in thehighest quality media books,
credible TV shows, the bestmovies, the best novels, the
(20:59):
best spiritual information.
Right, am I wrong?
Is there an argument againstthis?
I mean, look, the truth isreality TV is obviously value
there.
If I'm going to play devil'sadvocate of why Love Island is
amazing is because you're seeingthese young people talk very
(21:27):
openly, vulnerably, about whatthey want, need, their needs,
what's bothering them.
They're kind of tight-lipped.
Everything's fine, sweetheart,no, everything's great.
I'm not mad.
That is out the window, window.
There's none of that which Ithink is good.
And while I I counted in theone minute I watched tonight the
(21:52):
dudes being like dude, I'm sohappy for you, bro, they said.
Bro, it was like 30 bros withina 60 second span.
For the, the positive I see,besides the making out and the
hypersexualized and everybodyjust like, with incredible
bodies and just there does seemto be a genuine desire for love
(22:12):
and connection.
This isn't just like oh, Idon't fucking get fucked, I'll
move on like.
These are people who want to bein love and man is a beautiful
thing.
So all the power to them.
I wish them well.
I raise my glass.
I hope you all find love.
And that's what's cool aboutthe show too.
I think the competition it'snot really like there's one
(22:34):
winner, I believe.
I believe that there can bemany winners If you find enough
of a connection to last thewhole way.
All right, that's my take.
I got to get a co-host.
Let's be honest guys.
(22:54):
I got to get a co-host.
I need someone to talk to.
I mean, we'll see.
I think I'm committing Remember, I said I'd do this podcast for
one year um, redoing it.
I'm committing to 20 years?
Um, nope, that's wrong.
18 years.
I'm not.
I don't want to do this whenI'm 65.
(23:14):
18 years is a long time.
That's a lot of episodes.
We'll see how it goes.
No promises and finally,because I don't want this
episode to be all completenonsense without you learning a
single fact, so we're going toend this very special episode
(23:37):
with what we promised in thebeginning.
This full moon that I saw risingtonight is called the full buck
moon.
Now, we obviously name moonsfor all sorts of reasons that
I'm not going to get into, butwe also know, as everyone knows,
the moon cycle is exactly likethe menstrual cycle, and so
(24:03):
let's just relax theanti-woo-woo.
You think that's coincidence?
You think your wife's menstrualcycle is the exact same thing
as the moon cycle, bycoincidence, or do you think
there's something connected?
Do you think your wife is awerewolf?
That's what I thought.
(24:24):
Fuck dude, why is a fuckingcrazy dude my wife's going crazy
, my wife's out of her fuckingmind.
Dude, how many times you heardthat.
All right, everybody.
Uh, the january moon we'vealready experienced this.
You know I'm not going to gothrough all of them, but here
(24:45):
let's get a couple that you likeready.
So the may moon, uh, is calledthe milk moon.
The june moon uh, full, it wasthis full strawberry moon, and
we know that because thestrawberries definitely are good
in june.
The full buck moon is what wejust enjoyed tonight and this is
(25:07):
where it gets good.
August 9th, that peak, sweetmelancholy of summer, hopefully
when you're taking your twoweeks.
That's the sturgeon moon, andthe sturgeon that's when this
large fish that looks like adinosaur was in the Great Lakes
and other major bodies of water,like Lake Champlain, is most
readily caught.
And then we get into September,and of course that's the corn
(25:31):
moon, because we know that thesweet island corn in September.
There's nothing better thancorn in September.
But October, and this is themost famous moon, the harvest
moon.
On this harvest moon, neilyoung, we know it, the moon
(25:53):
seems to rise on the harvestmoon at nearly the same time
each night, just 25 to 30minutes later across the us and
only 10 to 20 minutes later formuch of Canada and Europe Corn
and pumpkin, squash beans andwild rice.
They're now ready for gathering.
And now my personal favorite,this is my favorite moon.
It's a November moon, okay, andit's the full beaver moon.
(26:17):
And if anyone says half beaver,quarter beaver, shaved beaver,
I hate that.
You need to always say I lovethe full, full beaver, full
beaver moon, nothing better.
And then December, of course,because you've worshipped the
(26:38):
full beaver moon, you've doneall your rituals, you've emptied
the tank on full beaver moon.
You've done all your rituals.
You've emptied the tank on fullbeaver moon.
By December you're going to getthe full cold moon, and it's
never.
You know, you've got to wait awhole year for another beaver
moon.
And this is really the problemwith winter is that you kind of
(27:02):
you get this giant, giantflooding of of lunar beaver
energy and then it's just overfor the next year, and that's
always been my main struggle.
So to me, november is peak andit's always where I'm happiest.
And I suspect that thecontestants of Love Island would
(27:23):
agree the full beaver moon istheir favorite as well, and
perhaps we should all gettogether and create a ritual
where we sing songs Eat thatkitty, eat that kitty as we
dance under the shadows of thefull kitty moon.
(27:45):
It's time to go to bed,wouldn't you say.
Lots of love, wishing you somuch joy, peace, adventure, fun,
loving kindness.
Bye for now.
Okay, it's summer, everybody, and the wheels are
off.
Yeah, wheels are completely off, welcome.
Hope everyone is having a greatsummer.
Currently sipping a Diet Cokewith Mount Gay Rum, I'm pretty
sure I've had a beer I don'tknow every day for the last
three weeks At least one beer Idon't know, every day for the
(00:28):
last three weeks, at least one.
My current move is to is to havea few beers around 5 PM before
dinner and then basically crashso hard after dinner.
It's like you want that emptystomach buzz and then you kind
of delay dinner and then you'relike I need to eat something and
then you eat, and then you.
And then you're like I need toeat something and then you eat,
and then you and then you'relike what's the point of
drinking after I eat, right, amI right?
(00:49):
So I'm hoping by the end of thesummer to get to the point
where I don't need dinner and Ican just maybe.
The move is huge lunch, huge,huge lunch straight into into a
walk, nap, then begin drinkingand then just maybe like half a
(01:13):
cup of soup for dinner and cockypoos oh man, that's rubbish.
(01:46):
That's rubbish, I think, theinside of the mind of a summer
Summer alcoholic.
I'm a seasonal alcoholic.
That's what I am Basically,don't drink much at all Fall,
winter, spring, and then I builda deep, deep reservoir and then
I can just absolutely tear allsummer.
Wow, there's an incrediblybeautiful full orange moon
(02:10):
rising above the ocean right now.
I wish you could all see it.
I bet it's about 10 feet offthe ocean.
Huge, I'm going to have to lookup what that kind of moon that
is.
Damn.
I'm going to have to look upwhat kind of moon that is Damn.
I want you to let me know ifthis sound makes you want to
(02:42):
make yourself a drink.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
How are you things?
Nice, you guys working hard.
When are you taking vacation?
Yeah, august is the best.
I mean, those days are gettingshorter, of course, and there's
that sweet melancholy of knowingthe summers are almost over,
but I think august is the timeto take your two weeks.
(03:04):
You know when are you headed.
Oh, cool, yeah, is it crowdedthen?
Yeah, no, I went to thevineyard once when I was 18.
Yeah, my friend had a compound,but then they went broke and
had to sell it.
Yeah, no one could afford it.
You know what I mean?
That sort of multi-generationalloss thing?
(03:25):
Yeah, totally.
I know Things are getting moreexpensive.
All these places are going tobe gone soon, filled with
private equity douchebags, youknow what I mean?
Yeah, no, but we got to protectit.
That's why we don't allow anyJews, black people or lesbians
into the club.
Right, yeah, all right, right,good to see you, ma'am.
(03:49):
Okay, that was my impression ofa racist wasp club man.
Hope you enjoyed that.
Moving on things I've seen thisweek, things that have bothered
me, things that, uh, I'mobserving about the world.
So first, I'm just reallypissed at jerry.
Jerry seinfeld canceled on theinterview again, um, so that's
(04:14):
why it's just me tonight.
I do apologize.
I know a lot of you came to seejerry talk and promote, but I
promise we'll have him on later.
But I think this is going to beeven better.
This is going to be, you know,six or seven minutes of me
verbal diarying in, and that'salways fun.
Number three mouth just going.
(04:34):
Number three from my mouth, noone thing I'm doing.
Cool this week is some, um,manifestation techniques.
Now there's a lot of woo-woo outin the world and some of you
listening may be balls deep inwoo-woo.
And when I say woo-woo I meanW-O-O space.
(04:55):
W-o-o that is slang for thekind of spiritual new age stuff
that is rampant all over media.
If that, if you're into that,or you throw your nose up at it
or you say look at those fuckingwoo woo tools, look how broke
(05:20):
they are, look how they're allrecovering drug addicts, and you
have a cynical view of it all.
By the way, all are valid.
All points of view are valid.
I think I have a unique anglebecause I have one foot in the
(05:41):
ultra douchebag world of highfinance and privilege and prep
school and ivy league educationand extremely wealthy people,
and I have access to all of thatand at the same time and those
(06:01):
people are decidedly not woo wooand at the same time, and those
people are decidedly notwoo-woo and at the same time, I
gravitate very intrinsically,very intuitively, very deep
level to that stuff.
As I probably mentioned before,I would happily, happily, go on
a three-month silent retreatand completely evacuate my
(06:23):
entire life.
Sayonara, goodbye kids, goodbyewife.
Daddy needs some peace and somerest.
However, in the Indian culture,they call this you're a
householder, and what's reallycool about it is I'm going to
mangle this, but fuck it.
You know, in the Easternreligions, in this sort of Hindu
(06:47):
culture in India.
They have these caste systemsright and whatever you're born
into, that's what you're goingto do.
So if you're like a stonecarver, you're just a stone
carver.
You don't have this ambition tobe something more.
And obviously India is changingrapidly and there's this giant
emerging middle class in India.
(07:08):
However, the caste systemcreated a situation where you
basically had wandering sadhus.
They were called sadhus orbasically holy men who were
basically beggars and you justwander around India but you were
(07:29):
a holy man.
So people like took youseriously and they gave you
money, not because, you know,they wanted to feel good about
themselves at a traffic light,uh, with their kids in the back,
but because they believed thatyou know, know you needed.
They wanted to support yourspiritual development.
Now, in India, a sadhu S-A-D-Uwas someone who in general, like
(07:56):
if a sadhu rolled into Americathey would look like a
schizophrenic homeless person,but in India there's a certain
level of respect.
They call it a Kundalini crisis.
Kundalini, for those who don'tknow, is the coiled serpent of
energy that is lying dormant atthe base of your spine.
(08:17):
So if you ever get intomeditation, you ever want to
learn, you know, kind of go allthe way in a lot of the
practices.
There's something calledkundalini yoga, of course, but a
lot of the practices will be tounlock, unleash the dormant
energy that is lying, coiled andready at the base of your spine
(08:41):
.
And when that energy isactually released, people will
report massive states of bliss,joy, oneness with the world,
egoless rapture.
(09:01):
I am taking my gum out on that,I am sorry.
Of course, we could allcategorize this under woo-woo,
w-o-o, w-o-o and I, likePareto's principle, which you
probably are aware of, is that80-20 principle, which is
(09:21):
basically, like you know, youlook at a garden and all the
let's call them pea pods aregrowing and 20% of the pea pods
create 80% of the peas.
Uh, 20% of your clients create80% of the profits.
There is a weird naturalproportion to productivity in
(09:45):
the universe and it's generallyabides by 80-20, 90-10.
It's not exact math, but youget the idea.
Applied to woo-woo in thatwoo-woo world are complete
(10:09):
frauds and jokes and ultimately,if you're going to run into
someone like that, which oddsare you will?
You're going to write it offand you should.
The problem with that is thatyou're going to miss out on the
people who actually are superlegit and I promise you it's
(10:32):
legit.
I promise you most of thecraziest shit you've ever heard
on some level is legit.
So whether it's psychic shit orworld systems, ghosts, you know
what have you All the stuff.
(10:52):
That's so easy because you canjust disprove it by saying I've
never seen it or there's no realhard, concrete scientific
evidence.
It's very easy to be thatperson.
It's extremely easy.
However, I don't believe it.
I just believe it's all goingon.
(11:13):
I mean, the truth is, who arewe?
We with our rudimentary fivesenses Sight, smell, hearing,
touch.
What's the fifth one?
I don't even remember, remember.
All I know is it's rudimentary.
So my point here and I'mrambling, my point really is is
(11:39):
that the woo-woo world I loveand I think I have a unique
angle in which I have one footin the world.
Let's just, for the sake ofsimplicity, call it private
equity, wall Street,douchebaggery, privilege, idiocy
(12:01):
.
I'm very comfortable in thatworld and I actually find the
people in it to be hilarious,even though they are the enemies
of 99% of the world.
I think there's a lot offucking hilariousness in it.
So I have a genuine affectionfor people that would probably
(12:23):
be murdered by the proletariatand, at the same time, I have a
massive affection for the worldof woo-woo and so what I'm
trying to do is figure out, evenjust through stand-up is to
(12:45):
bridge these two disparateworlds, and I don't know how to
do it.
I mean, I think I'm trying.
The answer hasn't revealeditself to me.
I once did a video, I don't knowfive years ago, called like
meditation, a white clawmeditation.
It was about, you know, a brojust meditating on his love for
(13:09):
white claw and actually it wasgreat.
I mean, I'm meaning it was areally fun to do and you know it
was well received.
But my point is only this thishas been a deep through line.
When I did my two yearmeditation training, uh, we
would sit around and we'd talkabout like visions for the
future and talk about visionsfor the future, and what were
(13:30):
you going to do with thistraining?
And there was a deep part of methat wanted me to basically
bring mindfulness to date rapers.
Not that I ever met a dateraper, but like what is the
(13:51):
quintessential stereotypical?
Like college double pop collar,college boy in a fraternity?
For a vast majority of humanbeings it's like that dude is
gonna rape me and he's gonnalike high five, his southern
buddies now, obviously I don't,but I don't see people black and
white and I think, because Ican speak the language of an
(14:15):
idiot frat boy, I think I canget them to chill a little bit.
Chill with the misogyny, chillwith the.
Yeah, any, any inclination togo and do something horrible?
Just chill with the, the machodouchery.
(14:39):
Does that make sense?
I hope it does.
Hey, update on love island.
I just went down to get a drinkhalfway through the recording
and my daughter was watchingLove Island again and alone, and
the girls were screaming eatthat kitty.
(14:59):
While grinding on the couch.
I believe the connection theyreferred to the sex that she
just had as a journey.
She was really pleased with thelevel of connection that she
was having with this beardedgentleman and then everyone was
giddy, and rightly so.
(15:20):
It's very sweet, you know, whenyour friend finally makes love.
It is very exciting andeveryone should rejoice Because
lovemaking, as we all can agree,is the best thing in the world.
But it is interesting to watchextremely scantily clad women
(15:42):
simultaneously singing eat thatkitty while grinding on a couch.
And then you look over andyou're 13.
You just turned.
The 13 year old daughter isjust looking at it, like, like,
like, sheepishly, and you'relike maybe I I really shouldn't
(16:02):
have been a parent and becauseultimately I don't, I cared in
the beginning I was like I, Icannot support the, the watching
of this show.
I mean, this is a show in whichhuman beings walk on onto an
island with six men tied up bytheir hands, blindfolded, and
(16:26):
then these two new womenintroduced just go around hard
making out I mean, justgrotesque French kissing of just
complete strangers who weretied up.
And I really do have a nauseawhen I watch it.
All the makeup caked on the newand it's like the cameras are
(16:52):
rolling.
It's just a way of gettingpeople to know if they're good
kissers.
Then they rate the kissing andyou're just like what is this
doing to my daughter's brain?
And then you text your wife andyou go do you understand what
this show is?
And then she texts back.
I think this is good for someonewho isn't already feeling
(17:15):
sexual you know deep sexualurges to watch because it will
teach her what not to do.
And then you're like, well,maybe or maybe I'm going to walk
in on a house party and all thedudes are going to be tied up
(17:38):
and everyone's going to bestrangers, mimicking Love Island
.
Anyway, evidently little did Iknow back when I was protesting
that this show has swept thenation and that everybody's
watching it and that they'rehaving like parties and bars for
everyone to watch it.
And so look, if my 13 year oldonce gets caught up in the pop
(17:59):
culture summer moment, so be it.
Um, we don't want to get leftbehind.
But man, oh man, it is a verystrange feeling.
So, anyway, eat that kitty.
That's the new song of thesummer.
(18:22):
I think this really points tothe broader problem, which is
that I believe I am turning intoan FCC parent.
You know the ones in the 80s whowere like stop MTV, mtv off the
air.
The older I get, the more Ibelieve that you are programmed
(18:48):
by media.
You know that old saying youare the average of the five
people you hang around with.
The most like who you hang outwith has a huge impact on your
intellect.
What you're into.
There's an alternative versionof that, which is that you are.
You are the result ofeverything you consume, and if
(19:10):
you're mindlessly consumingalgorithmic nonsense, your brain
is going to turn intoalgorithmic nonsense if you're
consuming and studying thegreatest minds on earth or
science, or you're obsessed withsomething like it's just common
sense that you're gonna thinkyou're thinking and what you're
(19:34):
into is gonna, is gonna molditself into what you're
consuming.
So I think the media youconsume is actually way more
important than you think.
I think it's influencing you onobviously conscious but
subconscious levels.
(19:54):
So take a human being who'snever seen a commercial, who's
never watched reality television, who doesn't watch the news,
who simply reads great novels,interacts with those around him,
takes in the best movies andstudies the greatest thinkers
(20:16):
and people of our time, theirthoughts, listens to deep
podcasts, is just constantlyconsuming really, really high
level content.
That human being that sort of,I mean, is going to be, I think,
operating on a whole otherlevel, a level that I think is
(20:38):
well.
I'll say this I would want formy kids If I could design their
life, of course, I would wantkids that are just like
completely bathing in thehighest quality media books,
credible TV shows, the bestmovies, the best novels, the
(20:59):
best spiritual information.
Right, am I wrong?
Is there an argument againstthis?
I mean, look, the truth isreality TV is obviously value
there.
If I'm going to play devil'sadvocate of why Love Island is
amazing is because you're seeingthese young people talk very
(21:27):
openly, vulnerably, about whatthey want, need, their needs,
what's bothering them.
They're kind of tight-lipped.
Everything's fine, sweetheart,no, everything's great.
I'm not mad.
That is out the window, window.
There's none of that which Ithink is good.
And while I I counted in theone minute I watched tonight the
(21:52):
dudes being like dude, I'm sohappy for you, bro, they said.
Bro, it was like 30 bros withina 60 second span.
For the, the positive I see,besides the making out and the
hypersexualized and everybodyjust like, with incredible
bodies and just there does seemto be a genuine desire for love
(22:12):
and connection.
This isn't just like oh, Idon't fucking get fucked, I'll
move on like.
These are people who want to bein love and man is a beautiful
thing.
So all the power to them.
I wish them well.
I raise my glass.
I hope you all find love.
And that's what's cool aboutthe show too.
I think the competition it'snot really like there's one
(22:34):
winner, I believe.
I believe that there can bemany winners If you find enough
of a connection to last thewhole way.
All right, that's my take.
I got to get a co-host.
Let's be honest guys.
(22:54):
I got to get a co-host.
I need someone to talk to.
I mean, we'll see.
I think I'm committing Remember, I said I'd do this podcast for
one year um, redoing it.
I'm committing to 20 years?
Um, nope, that's wrong.
18 years.
I'm not.
I don't want to do this whenI'm 65.
(23:14):
18 years is a long time.
That's a lot of episodes.
We'll see how it goes.
No promises and finally,because I don't want this
episode to be all completenonsense without you learning a
single fact, so we're going toend this very special episode
(23:37):
with what we promised in thebeginning.
This full moon that I saw risingtonight is called the full buck
moon.
Now, we obviously name moonsfor all sorts of reasons that
I'm not going to get into, butwe also know, as everyone knows,
the moon cycle is exactly likethe menstrual cycle, and so
(24:03):
let's just relax theanti-woo-woo.
You think that's coincidence?
You think your wife's menstrualcycle is the exact same thing
as the moon cycle, bycoincidence, or do you think
there's something connected?
Do you think your wife is awerewolf?
That's what I thought.
(24:24):
Fuck dude, why is a fuckingcrazy dude my wife's going crazy
, my wife's out of her fuckingmind.
Dude, how many times you heardthat.
All right, everybody.
Uh, the january moon we'vealready experienced this.
You know I'm not going to gothrough all of them, but here
(24:45):
let's get a couple that you likeready.
So the may moon, uh, is calledthe milk moon.
The june moon uh, full, it wasthis full strawberry moon, and
we know that because thestrawberries definitely are good
in june.
The full buck moon is what wejust enjoyed tonight and this is
(25:07):
where it gets good.
August 9th, that peak, sweetmelancholy of summer, hopefully
when you're taking your twoweeks.
That's the sturgeon moon, andthe sturgeon that's when this
large fish that looks like adinosaur was in the Great Lakes
and other major bodies of water,like Lake Champlain, is most
readily caught.
And then we get into September,and of course that's the corn
(25:31):
moon, because we know that thesweet island corn in September.
There's nothing better thancorn in September.
But October, and this is themost famous moon, the harvest
moon.
On this harvest moon, neilyoung, we know it, the moon
(25:53):
seems to rise on the harvestmoon at nearly the same time
each night, just 25 to 30minutes later across the us and
only 10 to 20 minutes later formuch of Canada and Europe Corn
and pumpkin, squash beans andwild rice.
They're now ready for gathering.
And now my personal favorite,this is my favorite moon.
It's a November moon, okay, andit's the full beaver moon.
(26:17):
And if anyone says half beaver,quarter beaver, shaved beaver,
I hate that.
You need to always say I lovethe full, full beaver, full
beaver moon, nothing better.
And then December, of course,because you've worshipped the
(26:38):
full beaver moon, you've doneall your rituals, you've emptied
the tank on full beaver moon.
You've done all your rituals.
You've emptied the tank on fullbeaver moon.
By December you're going to getthe full cold moon, and it's
never.
You know, you've got to wait awhole year for another beaver
moon.
And this is really the problemwith winter is that you kind of
(27:02):
you get this giant, giantflooding of of lunar beaver
energy and then it's just overfor the next year, and that's
always been my main struggle.
So to me, november is peak andit's always where I'm happiest.
And I suspect that thecontestants of Love Island would
(27:23):
agree the full beaver moon istheir favorite as well, and
perhaps we should all gettogether and create a ritual
where we sing songs Eat thatkitty, eat that kitty as we
dance under the shadows of thefull kitty moon.
(27:45):
It's time to go to bed,wouldn't you say.
Lots of love, wishing you somuch joy, peace, adventure, fun,
loving kindness.
Bye for now.
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