July 31, 2025 • 31 mins
I just discovered one of my to-do lists from 8 years ago. Fascinating what gets done, and what doesn't. Does this ever happen to you? Let's explore why we do things, and why we don't together in this week's episode.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh boy, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Good evening, by the way.
Very happy salutations.
I hope this finds you well.
Love and insincere platitude.
How are you, oh good?
Oh, I'm late because my sonjust got injured.
(00:28):
Now it's a special kind ofshame when your wife leaves for
four days and you go.
Sweetheart, I got it.
You just enjoy yourself.
Enjoy your press for your moviein Los Angeles, don't worry
about a thing.
And within nine hours your sonface plants into the big green
(00:50):
egg grill undercarriage, slicinghis ear wide open.
Blood everywhere.
Let me rewind.
I was grilling.
We had a new door.
There's a new grill locationSorry, a door we never use.
(01:11):
It has like five stairs, maybeit's hovering.
The porch is hovering four feetabove the ground, five stairs
down.
One of the stairs was loose.
The second stair my daughtergoes while I'm grilling.
Dad, this stare is loose.
I go, don't you worry about it?
And then, within five seconds,I hear a scream and my son is
(01:31):
fully contorted face just eatingthe undercarriage of the grill,
the big grill, the second grill, the grill I don't use which is
inexplicably at the base of thestairs.
Anyway, I panic.
Well, I don't panic because hestands up and he's clearly not
going to die.
But any parent will relate tothis.
(01:52):
You're like, am I going tourgent care?
And you're just like my son'salive, that's all I really care
about.
But how much is this nightgoing to suck?
Like three hours in a summernight, you know where every kid
is being an idiot and justinjured, broken arms and just
lacerations.
(02:13):
You know summer fun.
And you just immediately thinklike how fucked is this night?
And I examine the ear there wasa cut there but it wasn't so
bad.
But it starts dripping blood.
(02:39):
So he's scream, crying, andthen the blood starts coming out
and like splattering on thestones and that's not a good
feeling for a kid.
So he just wigs.
Interesting, my reaction to myown fear.
I'm being very cavalier but Iwas concerned and my friend who
was there was way more concernedthan me, which was wigging me
out.
But he ran to my son and I didsomething kind of inexplicable
(03:03):
that I'm going to have to talkto a therapist about.
But I started just yelling atmy oldest child, taking out my
fear on my child, and I was likehow could you let him do this?
You just said that the stairwas loose.
How did you let Louis step onit, and of course this poor girl
(03:24):
wasn't even looking, you know,and it's not her responsibility,
it's a hundred percent.
The whole thing is a hundredpercent my fault.
A man should take care of hishouse and he should have his
stairs secured, especiallystairs that his children are
using, and a board like acartoon should not fly up and
fling their son three feet downand just eat big green egg
(03:50):
undercarriage.
And so I feel lucky that he gotaway with just a laceration.
That, and you know, look, earsare great, aren't ears good,
they don don't bend.
So you know it didn't need abutterfly, but even if it did,
it's like it's not a knee or anelbow which is going to
(04:10):
constantly open.
That ear is just going to befine, and he kind of looks like
a fighter now.
So anyway, that's why I'm late.
But all is well that ends well.
But there was definitely alittle adrenaline in the house
tonight and just a lot of shame,a lot of tail between the legs,
just having to call your wifeafter just like looking her dead
(04:32):
in the eyes and being like Igot this, everything's going to
be great, and within like eightand a half hours you're like
your son is face planted andwants to talk to you Because
he's scared and wants his mama.
It's all good, she was cool,it's all.
It's all great, it's all good.
Could have been a lot worse,anyway.
(04:53):
So here I am and, uh, what,what an exciting episode.
I'm, I'm very excited.
I haven't recorded anything.
We're doing, uh, uh,occasionally, especially in
these summer nights, we'regiving ourselves just a time
constraint.
You know, creativity lovesconstraints.
You know that old saying.
So I've given myself a one hourtime constraint and I'm just
(05:15):
going to record and then that'sit.
And what we have in tonight isa to-do list from 2017 that
weirdly just popped up on mynotes app.
I accidentally typed in KR andyou know the notes app is
(05:38):
getting so good at findingthings.
So KR brought up Krav Maga andit was a to-do list from 2017.
And one of the many items onthe to-do list was begin Krav
Maga K-R-A-V space M-A-G-A.
Krav Maga is an Israeliself-defense style.
(06:02):
I would say that I've studied alittle bit of Kung Fu and the
biggest difference between sortof the Asian martial arts and
Krav Maga is that the Kung Fu,qigong, tai Chi they all involve
like deep, philosophical,energetic practices that get you
(06:25):
doing like magical, weirdpowers with your punches and
stuff.
Krav maga is basically like,how do I fuck you up so hard and
so fast that you're that I canrun away?
So if you get like attack, kravMaga is like you're going to
(06:46):
find a way to press your thumbinto that man's eye socket or
any soft spot on his body.
You're going to take his nuts.
You're going to just you could,if you can, chew on them, like
bite them and rip them off withyour mouth.
It's basically, there are norules.
This is not something you don'tdo like Krav Maga competitions
(07:09):
that I know of, by the way, Iknow nothing, but I'm pretty
sure Krav Maga is just strictlyself-defense and that's why I
loved it, because, as you'll seein 2017, I had one thing on my
mind and that was protecting mychildren, which obviously has
slipped a whole lot.
Anyway, please enjoy.
(07:30):
We're going to review a 2017.
Eight years ago, my to-do listthat I just discovered that kind
of blew my mind because I didso little of it.
Okay, please enjoy.
Oh man, that's rubbish.
(08:05):
That's rubbish.
Okay, let's begin the firstitem on my to-do list from May
4th 2017.
So this is spring.
I was living in Los Angeles.
I had a six-year-old and afour-year-old and I was 38.
(08:30):
Okay, so the first item, whichis checked off, buy into and
manifest the inevitability of myastonishing success.
Astonishing success.
So if you've ever studied like,uh, ester hicks and
(08:50):
manifestation, there is a sortof will it.
I'm not gonna even get into.
I honestly we've got too littletime.
I just think it's hilariousthat I checked, checked off, buy
into and manifest theinevitability of my astonishing
success.
And eight years later, I wantyou all to know that my
(09:14):
astonishing success is yet tocome.
So it is inevitable, but we'restill waiting.
Okay, real edits.
Clearly, this is something todo with instagram.
Unchecked, I will say that Ihave probably thought about
(09:35):
doing a real uh, a million timesand never done them.
I have a profound resistance tosocial media that I'm not even.
It bores me to death to evenget into.
Okay, so unchecked.
Do real edits.
Not even sure what this is for?
Okay, this is where it getsinteresting.
(09:56):
I have little subjects, so theto-do list was separated into
acting, and that was the buy-into and manifest the
inevitability of my astonishingsuccess.
Do real edits was something todo with acting.
Didn't do it.
Next section of the to-do listwas body, mind, health, and the
(10:21):
first one was tennis with Actor,which sounds absurdly vague,
but I know exactly what this was.
I was on a show called Mastersof Sex, season four really fun,
probably in six episodes.
It was the final season ofMasters of Sex and it was on
(10:43):
Showtime final season of mastersof sex.
Um, and it was on showtime andI got the.
The quick storyline was I wasthis lawyer and the main guy's
wife, uh, played by caitlinfitzgerald.
She was divorced, she wasrecovering from realizing that
(11:06):
her son was a creep, that herhusband was a creep and she was
starting to get that summer oflove hippie energy going.
And we go to a nudist colony inthis episode, which was really
probably the funniest situationI'd ever been in, where you show
up for work and I'm not kiddingopen field, 130 yards, actors
(11:34):
buck naked.
Now I'm in a suit, I'm a lawyer, so we're the only two people
dressed and I think it wastrying to mimic the Esalen spa
in Northern California.
But long story short uh, the guywho's the voice of the NFL on
Fox.
Who's like the NFL on Fox.
(11:55):
He had an incredible voiceComing up, deion Sanders.
Fuck, I am so bad at that shit.
Anyway, this fellow nicest guyin the world and I are chatting
about.
Somehow it comes up that welove tennis.
Now I just want you to knowthat as we're chatting about all
this, he is, his cock isswinging in the breeze.
(12:18):
I mean just, and look, you knowit's a special, you know, in
between takes like, you're justlike hey, you know, it's just.
Stuff comes up and it turns outthis guy ah, fuck, I mean the
idea that he would somehow findthis podcast and be listening.
(12:41):
I don't even remember his name.
I remember we got along greatand it wasn't just and he loved
tennis as much as I did.
He had his own court and thisis what you realize.
He was playing a minor role inthis show.
He has a voiceover studio inhis palatial estate in the hills
(13:02):
of hollywood, because his voiceis so fucking good that his job
is to basically wake up, have acup of coffee, stay in his
pajamas and go into a smalllittle cubicle for 45 minutes
and bust out the daily promo forthe nfl on Fox and just print
seven figures every fucking yearfor like a decade.
So he had his own tennis court,he, and he was just like hey, I
(13:24):
have tennis games all the time.
I bring up D one, people Ibring up like celebrities that
come play tennis.
So I, on this thing, I was liketennis with actor.
I should have said tennis withactor with a good size cock, uh,
voiceover Fox, because maybe itwas too vague.
But anyway, unchecked, I nevercalled this guy, I don't know
why.
(13:44):
I would love to have playedtennis with him.
I wish he could go back andspeak some sense to myself.
Okay, number two on mind-bodyhealth.
And, if you're listening, actorwith a good cock who is great
at tennis and does thevoiceovers on Fox.
Uh, my number.
Uh, no, I'm not going to dothat, but please just hit me up.
Um, all right, yeah, so numbertwo, krav Maga.
(14:09):
I've mentioned Krav Maga.
Now the story with this is, uh,I was on this show, new girl
and Jake Johnson and I Jakeplayed Nick on New Girl.
Great, I really love Jake,really interesting guy, love his
brain and, you know, an openkind of guy.
I think I got him intomeditation and at one point we
(14:34):
bonded over our need to defendour children and you'll see how
this is a theme today.
But uh, we were like the.
I don't want to like spend 10years learning how to like
develop my chi.
Let's do krav maga together.
And so I looked up a krav magainstructor and we texted back
(14:55):
and forth and somehow it justdidn't work out.
All to say that eventually wejust went to my kung fu teacher,
who was so out there, uh, thathe was like do you know how much
, do you know how much storedenergy and power you have in
your, in your gank plate?
(15:18):
Uh, also known as your perineum, your grundle, so basically
between the balls and the anus,is this very, very fascinating
area called the perineum is thescientific but slang grundle, or
gank plate is not used a lot,but I always like gank plate.
(15:39):
Anyway, in martial arts and inmeditation and spiritual
practice, this is extremelypowerful energy, a lot of shit's
going on down there.
And so this Kung Fu teacher hadus lying on our backs and at
one point he like put his fingerlike in jake's perineum not in
(16:05):
it, but like on it and I thinkjake I needless to say, jake
never took another lesson withmy, my teacher for me.
I was at that point used to himmolesting me, so I was fine
with it.
No, I, this guy is amazing andhe's not a creep and but just
Jake, it was a little too outthere.
(16:25):
So I think I think it's stillon the to-do list.
Krav Maga and uh, look, I'm notnot saying we may need to check
this off at some point, clearly,uh, another actor my next to at
some point.
Clearly another actor.
My next to-do list was JonathanTucker.
Another actor, very talentedactor, good friend, muay Thai.
(16:46):
He was on a show called Kingdomand he was saying that,
basically, if you want to start,if you're going to learn one
martial art, learn Muay Thai,because you're just going to be
able to kick people to fuckingsmithereens.
And so that was on my mind.
I wanted to be able to defendmy children, my young, innocent
(17:09):
children.
So Krav Maga and Muay Thai wereon my mind once again.
Neither of them done.
And then the fourth one wasorganized notes, which is
unchecked, so I never organizedthe notes, obviously.
Now, family was the nextsubject and that has no to-dos.
(17:30):
Nothing was ever written, sonot sure what that's about.
Finance is the next one.
So not sure what that's about.
Finance is the next one.
Take off, lever your businesscharge.
Okay, that was just likeremoving a charge.
It was checked.
Tesla rebate Yep, well, we usedto have one of those, so, okay,
(17:52):
that's not interesting.
Now it gets good Friends Justone friends.
And there's just one to-do listand it says dan paduano,
mescalum.
And this just makes me so happybecause, uh, dan paduano and I
(18:14):
went to college, I went to brown, to Brown together.
Dan is a farmer near Santa Cruzand on this beautiful property
he has he grows all sorts offruits and avocados and has all
this land.
He gives it to the CSA.
(18:35):
He's a proper farmer, no daysoff kind of guy, but he has
these giant San Pedro cactuses.
Now, for those of you who don'tknow about hallucinogenics,
obviously we've all at thispoint have heard odd nauseam
about magic mushrooms.
(18:56):
Psilocybin oh yeah.
Microd, yeah, microdosing.
I do 50mg, 500mg.
I'm on the protocol four dayson, three days off.
Oh my god, it's amazing I'mdrinking so much less.
I actually did a stand-up bitabout how annoyed I am and how
mainstream psychedelics I'vebecome.
I think, deep down, if I'mbeing perfectly honest, I'm
(19:19):
always going to find a way tolook down on people who are
doing drugs in a lame way.
I find the whole thing so lame.
Anyway, dan Padawano has thesegiant fucking cacti, san Pedro.
They, when you chop them, meltthem down, boil them, do the
(19:41):
whole thing.
It's not that hard.
You get mescaline.
The San Pedro cactus that's thepsilocybin is to mushroom magic
mushrooms, as mescaline is tothe San Pedro cactus Fascinating
, fascinating hallucinogenic.
Fascinating, fascinatinghallucinogenic, wildly
(20:01):
interested in it.
So I believe this to-do listwas Dan, send me a giant San
Pedro cactus and let me takemescaline from your garden.
And I think what happened wasbecause it's unchecked.
Dan continues to this day,eight years later, to send me
pictures of his incrediblecactuses growing.
(20:22):
And I always say when are yougoing to send it to me?
And I think he just doesn'twant to get arrested, or maybe I
just need to be more persistent, but anyway, okay, so that's a
fun one, unchecked.
And then Creative Pursuit.
This says phone call recordingequipment.
I'm not sure what that was.
If I had to guess, I was havingsome great phone calls and I
(20:44):
just wanted to be able to recordthem for because I thought they
were very entertaining.
And I now do that.
Actually, the iPhone has madeit easy, like, if I'm calling'm
calling someone I know we'regonna have a heater of a
conversation, I'll be like, hey,man, can we record this,
especially if it's advice.
If I'm calling like kind of amentor type person, I'll be like
(21:06):
, can I record this?
And?
And we can, and you can just onyour iphone do it and you get
the whole thing and then it'simmediately transcribed and then
you just upload that baby intochat, gpt, and you tell me,
organize this into all thepoints I need to remember, while
maintaining the actualtranscription, and then you can
do all sorts of things with it.
(21:27):
So I encourage everyone to dothat.
Okay, oh yeah, dreams.
Next one is dreams, and this wasmotorcycle trip, unchecked.
Now I do have a motorcycle.
I did buy one, so I thinkwriting this down did somehow
influence me to buy a motorcycle.
But uh, it's a.
I have a 1984 Honda Nighthawk450, uh, bought on the side of
(21:50):
the road here in Maine, put acouple grand into it and now
it's just awesome.
Top speed that I'm comfortablewith is like 55, 60.
You probably go faster thanthat, but you know it's over 40
years old, so we're just goingto relax.
But anyway, my dream is to haveyou know whoever's down, good
(22:13):
friends, and go motorcycle tripthrough Alaska.
I don't know if Alaska is theright thing, but I just don't
like traffic.
But definitely a bucket list,so hit me up if that's something
you would love to do.
And then this is to finish itoff.
I lived on this street calledLas Palmas, so this was my to-do
(22:40):
list for Las Palmas Gun forself-defense, earthquake drill
disaster kit and modem.
Well, the modem isn't, but what?
What ended up happening with mewith Krav Maga, with Muay Thai,
with gun for self-defense, withearth cake drill disaster kit?
(23:02):
There was a moment in my lifewhere and I was talking to a
bunch of dads in theneighborhood about this we would
go out to dinner and all we allhad kids around the same age
four, five, six years old and wewould kind of distill our life.
We'll be like we're useless.
You know, I don't think ourwives really like us, we don't
(23:26):
really love what we're doing.
What is our purpose?
What as a, as a man, what?
What the fuck are we doing onearth?
And we would have theseexistential questions and it
would inevitably just come downto look, being a parent in many
ways is great, in many ways justsuck shit.
(23:46):
We feel emasculated.
We're having, or no, no one'sable to go on motorcycle trips
to alaska.
You know we're.
We're spending more times withour kids than than women did
with their kids in the 1970s.
It's just.
It's just a weird world nowwhere parents are just always
(24:07):
with their kids and the kids areuseless.
They're not.
You know, like, like back in theday, six, seven year olds were
helping out.
I mean, they were functioningto keep shit going, shit.
(24:31):
They were feeding the chickens,you know, loading guns,
whatever it was like.
They were on board with whathad to get done to survive.
But now we're all such fuckingspoiled little just whining
pricks that kids.
It's just like.
What are you?
You spend 14 years just havingas much fun as possible and
(24:51):
learning bullshit in school.
Oh, anyway.
So I, we, we had this sort ofshared frustration and what we
ended up doing is just havingthese dinners and figuring out
ways to everything we needed todo to not fail at the ultimate
(25:15):
level, which was to have yourkids to not be prepared for
natural disasters and homeinvasions.
And so it was just like oh, Ifound this guy who can, like
take chlorinated pool water andturn it into potable drinkable
water.
You just throw this in so whenArmageddon happens, like you've
(25:36):
got pool water.
You know, you can drink thatfor a few weeks.
It's like, yeah, I'm thinkingabout getting some gold bars,
you know, because when theapocalypse happens, you know
money's going to.
Uh, you know money's gonna bebullshit, but gold's been around
for thousands of years and thatwould inevitably lead to like
oh yeah, well, I just got ahundred gallon drum of petroleum
(25:58):
like 87 octane because that'sgonna be the most valuable shit
so you can get the fuck out oftown.
Um, we're talking about like notnecessarily like all of society
crumbling because of like afascist dictator, more just like
giant fucking 8.8 earthquakefires and just got to get out.
(26:22):
You know, you just got to getthe fuck out of los angeles and
I was like you do not have timeto fill up the tank again, you
got to get the fuck out, so it's.
And I was like you do not havetime to fill up the tank again,
you got to get the fuck out.
So it's like guys would be likeyeah, I just stashed three
grand hard cash in, like thisweird brick that comes out of my
wall.
We were just all becoming weirdpreppers and it didn't make any
(26:44):
sense.
I mean, these, these guys, noneof us were tough, none of us
knew how to change a tire, but Ithink it made us feel better
that we were thinking aboutthese sort of things.
So, oh, and then I forgot aboutthe final thing.
So I actually think I may usethis again.
(27:06):
But it was all about plans and Ihad split up my life into all
these different plans.
Two of them are checked offdiet plan, workout plan and I
believe in 2017, I was prettyfucking tight.
I think I was in into ketogenicdiets.
You know, I was eating a ton offat, ton of some good protein,
(27:29):
no carbs, and I was just likefasting, like I was doing
three-day fasts and I wasgetting as shredded as I've been
and I was doing squats, likebig compound lifts, and I was
feeling good those.
So diet and workout plan werechecked.
This is what was uncheckedLifestyle plan, spirit plan,
(27:53):
acting plan, hobby plan, martialart plan, new skill plan, fun
plan All unchecked and inhindsight, I don't think any of
that was necessarily unchecked.
Obviously, I did things inthose areas.
I just stopped writing themdown.
But I would like to pull backand finish this episode by
(28:13):
saying that my initial reactionto seeing lists where I have
said I'm going to do somethingand I don't do it.
My initial reaction most of mylife is to beat myself up.
I've been like you don't followthrough on your commitments to
(28:35):
yourself.
You have no.
I'll start tearing myself toshreds and I want to just state
that I don't do that anymore andI don't think that that is a
good.
I don't think that's the rightstrategy.
I don't think lashing yourselfactually works.
(28:56):
I think this is what I'm saying.
I used to look at theseunchecked to-do lists and almost
like go into a depression, likegosh, how pathetic are you that
you can't even do X?
And I will say that I now lookat it with just a humor.
(29:18):
There is so much that our mindsdream up of doing.
I think it's fascinating tolook back and say what did I
actually do?
Of all the things on this listthat are unchecked, the ones
(29:38):
that I actually feel like aregoing to happen are well, tennis
with Actor, if he calls me, butDan Padawano, mescaline
motorcycle trip.
Yeah, tennis, mescalinemotorcycle.
Those are the only things thatstill excite me.
(29:59):
I mean lifestyle plan, spiritplan, acting plan, hobby plan.
Those things are already.
I don't need a plan for them,those are just flowing.
I think as the older I get, themore it's like why are you, why
are you doing things that youdon't enjoy?
Now, there are certain thingslike working out, like lifting.
(30:20):
You know you gotta hack a wayto enjoy it.
Maybe it's just like doing onemore rep a day gives you that
sort of progress that you enjoy.
There's places that you knoware good for you and you want to
delay gratification and getsomething good.
But for all the other stuff,why on earth aren't you
(30:41):
following your intuitive senseof enjoyment?
What you enjoy is exactly whatGod for lack of a better word
made you to enjoy.
Denying your enjoyment isdenying God.
All right, that's all I'm goingto say about that.
Please enjoy.
(31:01):
Now I will say that this hasbeen a really, really very, very
fun episode for me.
I wish you a week full offollowing your true enjoyment,
your true bliss.
For me, that clearly is tennis,mescaline and motorcycles.
(31:22):
God bless you and I'll see younext week.
Oh boy, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Good evening, by the way.
Very happy salutations.
I hope this finds you well.
Love and insincere platitude.
How are you, oh good?
Oh, I'm late because my sonjust got injured.
(00:28):
Now it's a special kind ofshame when your wife leaves for
four days and you go.
Sweetheart, I got it.
You just enjoy yourself.
Enjoy your press for your moviein Los Angeles, don't worry
about a thing.
And within nine hours your sonface plants into the big green
(00:50):
egg grill undercarriage, slicinghis ear wide open.
Blood everywhere.
Let me rewind.
I was grilling.
We had a new door.
There's a new grill locationSorry, a door we never use.
(01:11):
It has like five stairs, maybeit's hovering.
The porch is hovering four feetabove the ground, five stairs
down.
One of the stairs was loose.
The second stair my daughtergoes while I'm grilling.
Dad, this stare is loose.
I go, don't you worry about it?
And then, within five seconds,I hear a scream and my son is
(01:31):
fully contorted face just eatingthe undercarriage of the grill,
the big grill, the second grill, the grill I don't use which is
inexplicably at the base of thestairs.
Anyway, I panic.
Well, I don't panic because hestands up and he's clearly not
going to die.
But any parent will relate tothis.
(01:52):
You're like, am I going tourgent care?
And you're just like my son'salive, that's all I really care
about.
But how much is this nightgoing to suck?
Like three hours in a summernight, you know where every kid
is being an idiot and justinjured, broken arms and just
lacerations.
(02:13):
You know summer fun.
And you just immediately thinklike how fucked is this night?
And I examine the ear there wasa cut there but it wasn't so
bad.
But it starts dripping blood.
(02:39):
So he's scream, crying, andthen the blood starts coming out
and like splattering on thestones and that's not a good
feeling for a kid.
So he just wigs.
Interesting, my reaction to myown fear.
I'm being very cavalier but Iwas concerned and my friend who
was there was way more concernedthan me, which was wigging me
out.
But he ran to my son and I didsomething kind of inexplicable
(03:03):
that I'm going to have to talkto a therapist about.
But I started just yelling atmy oldest child, taking out my
fear on my child, and I was likehow could you let him do this?
You just said that the stairwas loose.
How did you let Louis step onit, and of course this poor girl
(03:24):
wasn't even looking, you know,and it's not her responsibility,
it's a hundred percent.
The whole thing is a hundredpercent my fault.
A man should take care of hishouse and he should have his
stairs secured, especiallystairs that his children are
using, and a board like acartoon should not fly up and
fling their son three feet downand just eat big green egg
(03:50):
undercarriage.
And so I feel lucky that he gotaway with just a laceration.
That, and you know, look, earsare great, aren't ears good,
they don don't bend.
So you know it didn't need abutterfly, but even if it did,
it's like it's not a knee or anelbow which is going to
(04:10):
constantly open.
That ear is just going to befine, and he kind of looks like
a fighter now.
So anyway, that's why I'm late.
But all is well that ends well.
But there was definitely alittle adrenaline in the house
tonight and just a lot of shame,a lot of tail between the legs,
just having to call your wifeafter just like looking her dead
(04:32):
in the eyes and being like Igot this, everything's going to
be great, and within like eightand a half hours you're like
your son is face planted andwants to talk to you Because
he's scared and wants his mama.
It's all good, she was cool,it's all.
It's all great, it's all good.
Could have been a lot worse,anyway.
(04:53):
So here I am and, uh, what,what an exciting episode.
I'm, I'm very excited.
I haven't recorded anything.
We're doing, uh, uh,occasionally, especially in
these summer nights, we'regiving ourselves just a time
constraint.
You know, creativity lovesconstraints.
You know that old saying.
So I've given myself a one hourtime constraint and I'm just
(05:15):
going to record and then that'sit.
And what we have in tonight isa to-do list from 2017 that
weirdly just popped up on mynotes app.
I accidentally typed in KR andyou know the notes app is
(05:38):
getting so good at findingthings.
So KR brought up Krav Maga andit was a to-do list from 2017.
And one of the many items onthe to-do list was begin Krav
Maga K-R-A-V space M-A-G-A.
Krav Maga is an Israeliself-defense style.
(06:02):
I would say that I've studied alittle bit of Kung Fu and the
biggest difference between sortof the Asian martial arts and
Krav Maga is that the Kung Fu,qigong, tai Chi they all involve
like deep, philosophical,energetic practices that get you
(06:25):
doing like magical, weirdpowers with your punches and
stuff.
Krav maga is basically like,how do I fuck you up so hard and
so fast that you're that I canrun away?
So if you get like attack, kravMaga is like you're going to
(06:46):
find a way to press your thumbinto that man's eye socket or
any soft spot on his body.
You're going to take his nuts.
You're going to just you could,if you can, chew on them, like
bite them and rip them off withyour mouth.
It's basically, there are norules.
This is not something you don'tdo like Krav Maga competitions
(07:09):
that I know of, by the way, Iknow nothing, but I'm pretty
sure Krav Maga is just strictlyself-defense and that's why I
loved it, because, as you'll seein 2017, I had one thing on my
mind and that was protecting mychildren, which obviously has
slipped a whole lot.
Anyway, please enjoy.
(07:30):
We're going to review a 2017.
Eight years ago, my to-do listthat I just discovered that kind
of blew my mind because I didso little of it.
Okay, please enjoy.
Oh man, that's rubbish.
(08:05):
That's rubbish.
Okay, let's begin the firstitem on my to-do list from May
4th 2017.
So this is spring.
I was living in Los Angeles.
I had a six-year-old and afour-year-old and I was 38.
(08:30):
Okay, so the first item, whichis checked off, buy into and
manifest the inevitability of myastonishing success.
Astonishing success.
So if you've ever studied like,uh, ester hicks and
(08:50):
manifestation, there is a sortof will it.
I'm not gonna even get into.
I honestly we've got too littletime.
I just think it's hilariousthat I checked, checked off, buy
into and manifest theinevitability of my astonishing
success.
And eight years later, I wantyou all to know that my
(09:14):
astonishing success is yet tocome.
So it is inevitable, but we'restill waiting.
Okay, real edits.
Clearly, this is something todo with instagram.
Unchecked, I will say that Ihave probably thought about
(09:35):
doing a real uh, a million timesand never done them.
I have a profound resistance tosocial media that I'm not even.
It bores me to death to evenget into.
Okay, so unchecked.
Do real edits.
Not even sure what this is for?
Okay, this is where it getsinteresting.
(09:56):
I have little subjects, so theto-do list was separated into
acting, and that was the buy-into and manifest the
inevitability of my astonishingsuccess.
Do real edits was something todo with acting.
Didn't do it.
Next section of the to-do listwas body, mind, health, and the
(10:21):
first one was tennis with Actor,which sounds absurdly vague,
but I know exactly what this was.
I was on a show called Mastersof Sex, season four really fun,
probably in six episodes.
It was the final season ofMasters of Sex and it was on
(10:43):
Showtime final season of mastersof sex.
Um, and it was on showtime andI got the.
The quick storyline was I wasthis lawyer and the main guy's
wife, uh, played by caitlinfitzgerald.
She was divorced, she wasrecovering from realizing that
(11:06):
her son was a creep, that herhusband was a creep and she was
starting to get that summer oflove hippie energy going.
And we go to a nudist colony inthis episode, which was really
probably the funniest situationI'd ever been in, where you show
up for work and I'm not kiddingopen field, 130 yards, actors
(11:34):
buck naked.
Now I'm in a suit, I'm a lawyer, so we're the only two people
dressed and I think it wastrying to mimic the Esalen spa
in Northern California.
But long story short uh, the guywho's the voice of the NFL on
Fox.
Who's like the NFL on Fox.
(11:55):
He had an incredible voiceComing up, deion Sanders.
Fuck, I am so bad at that shit.
Anyway, this fellow nicest guyin the world and I are chatting
about.
Somehow it comes up that welove tennis.
Now I just want you to knowthat as we're chatting about all
this, he is, his cock isswinging in the breeze.
(12:18):
I mean just, and look, you knowit's a special, you know, in
between takes like, you're justlike hey, you know, it's just.
Stuff comes up and it turns outthis guy ah, fuck, I mean the
idea that he would somehow findthis podcast and be listening.
(12:41):
I don't even remember his name.
I remember we got along greatand it wasn't just and he loved
tennis as much as I did.
He had his own court and thisis what you realize.
He was playing a minor role inthis show.
He has a voiceover studio inhis palatial estate in the hills
(13:02):
of hollywood, because his voiceis so fucking good that his job
is to basically wake up, have acup of coffee, stay in his
pajamas and go into a smalllittle cubicle for 45 minutes
and bust out the daily promo forthe nfl on Fox and just print
seven figures every fucking yearfor like a decade.
So he had his own tennis court,he, and he was just like hey, I
(13:24):
have tennis games all the time.
I bring up D one, people Ibring up like celebrities that
come play tennis.
So I, on this thing, I was liketennis with actor.
I should have said tennis withactor with a good size cock, uh,
voiceover Fox, because maybe itwas too vague.
But anyway, unchecked, I nevercalled this guy, I don't know
why.
(13:44):
I would love to have playedtennis with him.
I wish he could go back andspeak some sense to myself.
Okay, number two on mind-bodyhealth.
And, if you're listening, actorwith a good cock who is great
at tennis and does thevoiceovers on Fox.
Uh, my number.
Uh, no, I'm not going to dothat, but please just hit me up.
Um, all right, yeah, so numbertwo, krav Maga.
(14:09):
I've mentioned Krav Maga.
Now the story with this is, uh,I was on this show, new girl
and Jake Johnson and I Jakeplayed Nick on New Girl.
Great, I really love Jake,really interesting guy, love his
brain and, you know, an openkind of guy.
I think I got him intomeditation and at one point we
(14:34):
bonded over our need to defendour children and you'll see how
this is a theme today.
But uh, we were like the.
I don't want to like spend 10years learning how to like
develop my chi.
Let's do krav maga together.
And so I looked up a krav magainstructor and we texted back
(14:55):
and forth and somehow it justdidn't work out.
All to say that eventually wejust went to my kung fu teacher,
who was so out there, uh, thathe was like do you know how much
, do you know how much storedenergy and power you have in
your, in your gank plate?
(15:18):
Uh, also known as your perineum, your grundle, so basically
between the balls and the anus,is this very, very fascinating
area called the perineum is thescientific but slang grundle, or
gank plate is not used a lot,but I always like gank plate.
(15:39):
Anyway, in martial arts and inmeditation and spiritual
practice, this is extremelypowerful energy, a lot of shit's
going on down there.
And so this Kung Fu teacher hadus lying on our backs and at
one point he like put his fingerlike in jake's perineum not in
(16:05):
it, but like on it and I thinkjake I needless to say, jake
never took another lesson withmy, my teacher for me.
I was at that point used to himmolesting me, so I was fine
with it.
No, I, this guy is amazing andhe's not a creep and but just
Jake, it was a little too outthere.
(16:25):
So I think I think it's stillon the to-do list.
Krav Maga and uh, look, I'm notnot saying we may need to check
this off at some point, clearly,uh, another actor my next to at
some point.
Clearly another actor.
My next to-do list was JonathanTucker.
Another actor, very talentedactor, good friend, muay Thai.
(16:46):
He was on a show called Kingdomand he was saying that,
basically, if you want to start,if you're going to learn one
martial art, learn Muay Thai,because you're just going to be
able to kick people to fuckingsmithereens.
And so that was on my mind.
I wanted to be able to defendmy children, my young, innocent
(17:09):
children.
So Krav Maga and Muay Thai wereon my mind once again.
Neither of them done.
And then the fourth one wasorganized notes, which is
unchecked, so I never organizedthe notes, obviously.
Now, family was the nextsubject and that has no to-dos.
(17:30):
Nothing was ever written, sonot sure what that's about.
Finance is the next one.
So not sure what that's about.
Finance is the next one.
Take off, lever your businesscharge.
Okay, that was just likeremoving a charge.
It was checked.
Tesla rebate Yep, well, we usedto have one of those, so, okay,
(17:52):
that's not interesting.
Now it gets good Friends Justone friends.
And there's just one to-do listand it says dan paduano,
mescalum.
And this just makes me so happybecause, uh, dan paduano and I
(18:14):
went to college, I went to brown, to Brown together.
Dan is a farmer near Santa Cruzand on this beautiful property
he has he grows all sorts offruits and avocados and has all
this land.
He gives it to the CSA.
(18:35):
He's a proper farmer, no daysoff kind of guy, but he has
these giant San Pedro cactuses.
Now, for those of you who don'tknow about hallucinogenics,
obviously we've all at thispoint have heard odd nauseam
about magic mushrooms.
(18:56):
Psilocybin oh yeah.
Microd, yeah, microdosing.
I do 50mg, 500mg.
I'm on the protocol four dayson, three days off.
Oh my god, it's amazing I'mdrinking so much less.
I actually did a stand-up bitabout how annoyed I am and how
mainstream psychedelics I'vebecome.
I think, deep down, if I'mbeing perfectly honest, I'm
(19:19):
always going to find a way tolook down on people who are
doing drugs in a lame way.
I find the whole thing so lame.
Anyway, dan Padawano has thesegiant fucking cacti, san Pedro.
They, when you chop them, meltthem down, boil them, do the
(19:41):
whole thing.
It's not that hard.
You get mescaline.
The San Pedro cactus that's thepsilocybin is to mushroom magic
mushrooms, as mescaline is tothe San Pedro cactus Fascinating
, fascinating hallucinogenic.
Fascinating, fascinatinghallucinogenic, wildly
(20:01):
interested in it.
So I believe this to-do listwas Dan, send me a giant San
Pedro cactus and let me takemescaline from your garden.
And I think what happened wasbecause it's unchecked.
Dan continues to this day,eight years later, to send me
pictures of his incrediblecactuses growing.
(20:22):
And I always say when are yougoing to send it to me?
And I think he just doesn'twant to get arrested, or maybe I
just need to be more persistent, but anyway, okay, so that's a
fun one, unchecked.
And then Creative Pursuit.
This says phone call recordingequipment.
I'm not sure what that was.
If I had to guess, I was havingsome great phone calls and I
(20:44):
just wanted to be able to recordthem for because I thought they
were very entertaining.
And I now do that.
Actually, the iPhone has madeit easy, like, if I'm calling'm
calling someone I know we'regonna have a heater of a
conversation, I'll be like, hey,man, can we record this,
especially if it's advice.
If I'm calling like kind of amentor type person, I'll be like
(21:06):
, can I record this?
And?
And we can, and you can just onyour iphone do it and you get
the whole thing and then it'simmediately transcribed and then
you just upload that baby intochat, gpt, and you tell me,
organize this into all thepoints I need to remember, while
maintaining the actualtranscription, and then you can
do all sorts of things with it.
(21:27):
So I encourage everyone to dothat.
Okay, oh yeah, dreams.
Next one is dreams, and this wasmotorcycle trip, unchecked.
Now I do have a motorcycle.
I did buy one, so I thinkwriting this down did somehow
influence me to buy a motorcycle.
But uh, it's a.
I have a 1984 Honda Nighthawk450, uh, bought on the side of
(21:50):
the road here in Maine, put acouple grand into it and now
it's just awesome.
Top speed that I'm comfortablewith is like 55, 60.
You probably go faster thanthat, but you know it's over 40
years old, so we're just goingto relax.
But anyway, my dream is to haveyou know whoever's down, good
(22:13):
friends, and go motorcycle tripthrough Alaska.
I don't know if Alaska is theright thing, but I just don't
like traffic.
But definitely a bucket list,so hit me up if that's something
you would love to do.
And then this is to finish itoff.
I lived on this street calledLas Palmas, so this was my to-do
(22:40):
list for Las Palmas Gun forself-defense, earthquake drill
disaster kit and modem.
Well, the modem isn't, but what?
What ended up happening with mewith Krav Maga, with Muay Thai,
with gun for self-defense, withearth cake drill disaster kit?
(23:02):
There was a moment in my lifewhere and I was talking to a
bunch of dads in theneighborhood about this we would
go out to dinner and all we allhad kids around the same age
four, five, six years old and wewould kind of distill our life.
We'll be like we're useless.
You know, I don't think ourwives really like us, we don't
(23:26):
really love what we're doing.
What is our purpose?
What as a, as a man, what?
What the fuck are we doing onearth?
And we would have theseexistential questions and it
would inevitably just come downto look, being a parent in many
ways is great, in many ways justsuck shit.
(23:46):
We feel emasculated.
We're having, or no, no one'sable to go on motorcycle trips
to alaska.
You know we're.
We're spending more times withour kids than than women did
with their kids in the 1970s.
It's just.
It's just a weird world nowwhere parents are just always
(24:07):
with their kids and the kids areuseless.
They're not.
You know, like, like back in theday, six, seven year olds were
helping out.
I mean, they were functioningto keep shit going, shit.
(24:31):
They were feeding the chickens,you know, loading guns,
whatever it was like.
They were on board with whathad to get done to survive.
But now we're all such fuckingspoiled little just whining
pricks that kids.
It's just like.
What are you?
You spend 14 years just havingas much fun as possible and
(24:51):
learning bullshit in school.
Oh, anyway.
So I, we, we had this sort ofshared frustration and what we
ended up doing is just havingthese dinners and figuring out
ways to everything we needed todo to not fail at the ultimate
(25:15):
level, which was to have yourkids to not be prepared for
natural disasters and homeinvasions.
And so it was just like oh, Ifound this guy who can, like
take chlorinated pool water andturn it into potable drinkable
water.
You just throw this in so whenArmageddon happens, like you've
(25:36):
got pool water.
You know, you can drink thatfor a few weeks.
It's like, yeah, I'm thinkingabout getting some gold bars,
you know, because when theapocalypse happens, you know
money's going to.
Uh, you know money's gonna bebullshit, but gold's been around
for thousands of years and thatwould inevitably lead to like
oh yeah, well, I just got ahundred gallon drum of petroleum
(25:58):
like 87 octane because that'sgonna be the most valuable shit
so you can get the fuck out oftown.
Um, we're talking about like notnecessarily like all of society
crumbling because of like afascist dictator, more just like
giant fucking 8.8 earthquakefires and just got to get out.
(26:22):
You know, you just got to getthe fuck out of los angeles and
I was like you do not have timeto fill up the tank again, you
got to get the fuck out, so it's.
And I was like you do not havetime to fill up the tank again,
you got to get the fuck out.
So it's like guys would be likeyeah, I just stashed three
grand hard cash in, like thisweird brick that comes out of my
wall.
We were just all becoming weirdpreppers and it didn't make any
(26:44):
sense.
I mean, these, these guys, noneof us were tough, none of us
knew how to change a tire, but Ithink it made us feel better
that we were thinking aboutthese sort of things.
So, oh, and then I forgot aboutthe final thing.
So I actually think I may usethis again.
(27:06):
But it was all about plans and Ihad split up my life into all
these different plans.
Two of them are checked offdiet plan, workout plan and I
believe in 2017, I was prettyfucking tight.
I think I was in into ketogenicdiets.
You know, I was eating a ton offat, ton of some good protein,
(27:29):
no carbs, and I was just likefasting, like I was doing
three-day fasts and I wasgetting as shredded as I've been
and I was doing squats, likebig compound lifts, and I was
feeling good those.
So diet and workout plan werechecked.
This is what was uncheckedLifestyle plan, spirit plan,
(27:53):
acting plan, hobby plan, martialart plan, new skill plan, fun
plan All unchecked and inhindsight, I don't think any of
that was necessarily unchecked.
Obviously, I did things inthose areas.
I just stopped writing themdown.
But I would like to pull backand finish this episode by
(28:13):
saying that my initial reactionto seeing lists where I have
said I'm going to do somethingand I don't do it.
My initial reaction most of mylife is to beat myself up.
I've been like you don't followthrough on your commitments to
(28:35):
yourself.
You have no.
I'll start tearing myself toshreds and I want to just state
that I don't do that anymore andI don't think that that is a
good.
I don't think that's the rightstrategy.
I don't think lashing yourselfactually works.
(28:56):
I think this is what I'm saying.
I used to look at theseunchecked to-do lists and almost
like go into a depression, likegosh, how pathetic are you that
you can't even do X?
And I will say that I now lookat it with just a humor.
(29:18):
There is so much that our mindsdream up of doing.
I think it's fascinating tolook back and say what did I
actually do?
Of all the things on this listthat are unchecked, the ones
(29:38):
that I actually feel like aregoing to happen are well, tennis
with Actor, if he calls me, butDan Padawano, mescaline
motorcycle trip.
Yeah, tennis, mescalinemotorcycle.
Those are the only things thatstill excite me.
(29:59):
I mean lifestyle plan, spiritplan, acting plan, hobby plan.
Those things are already.
I don't need a plan for them,those are just flowing.
I think as the older I get, themore it's like why are you, why
are you doing things that youdon't enjoy?
Now, there are certain thingslike working out, like lifting.
(30:20):
You know you gotta hack a wayto enjoy it.
Maybe it's just like doing onemore rep a day gives you that
sort of progress that you enjoy.
There's places that you knoware good for you and you want to
delay gratification and getsomething good.
But for all the other stuff,why on earth aren't you
(30:41):
following your intuitive senseof enjoyment?
What you enjoy is exactly whatGod for lack of a better word
made you to enjoy.
Denying your enjoyment isdenying God.
All right, that's all I'm goingto say about that.
Please enjoy.
(31:01):
Now I will say that this hasbeen a really, really very, very
fun episode for me.
I wish you a week full offollowing your true enjoyment,
your true bliss.
For me, that clearly is tennis,mescaline and motorcycles.
(31:22):
God bless you and I'll see younext week.
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