Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is that final little sweet, melancholy stretch
of a summer where you have fulllicense to let the wheels
completely come off of your life.
Really, lean in to that personyou're trying not to become,
just become him or her.
All those sort of id, thoseprimal instincts.
(00:21):
I'm not saying torture life,I'm not saying you know, go have
an affair or anything like that.
I'm just saying lean in to thedebauchery that you know you
want, that maybe, just maybe youneed oh man, that's rubbish.
(00:58):
That's rubbish.
If you're listening to this forthe first time, don't worry, you
haven't missed anything.
There's nothing you need to goback for.
There's nothing you need tocatch up on.
What you're about to hear is aman searching for material for
stand-up sets, and the way hesearches is by revealing things
about his life that he findshe's compelled to talk about.
(01:20):
And then, over throughout thatprocess, that process becomes
apparent what might be funny,what might have a lot of
potential for good material.
And so what you've stumbled onand what I hope you'll stick
around for, is just me having anice little chatty mcgillicuddy
(01:41):
with you, scotty McGillicuddywith you, where we almost
together figure out, you know,areas to bring to the greater
world as many laughs as possible.
It's been a tough day, it'sbeen a little depressing, you
know.
I think what I really want totalk about is that for the
middle-aged people out there,there comes a time in your life
(02:04):
where you basically just want tobe a 10-year-old, and so, at
least for me, what I loved to dowhen I was 10 was play tennis,
feel a rush of adrenaline, hangout with my friends and feel
like I was right on the edge ofbreaking the rules.
You know, right on the edge ofmischief that there were stakes,
(02:25):
there was danger in the air.
And if you actually study, likeJoseph Campbell, who wrote A
Hero with a Thousand Faces,profoundly, a profound book, his
level of insight intopsychology, the human condition,
myth, archetypes, is withoutparallel.
(02:46):
The movie Star Wars wouldn'thave been written without Joseph
Campbell.
What I'm trying to say if you'veever heard the expression
follow your bliss, that is aJoseph Campbell, basically one
big idea, and it's exactly athrough line from last week's
episode, which is like what doyou enjoy?
How do I, as a father, as ahouseholder responsible for food
(03:11):
and shelter, muster the energyto do anything other than the
most enjoyable hobbies Tennis,golf, backgammon, hanging with
friends, a new skill.
You know it's funny as I saythis out loud, and this is why
this is so valuable.
I realize that there'ssomething very missing in this.
(03:33):
A hobbied life is nice, butmaybe there's just no huge dream
there.
There's not enough of a quest,there's not enough of a hero's
journey in the kind of pleasurezones we need to be tested more.
The problem is, when I playtennis, for example, I feel
(03:56):
extremely tested.
When I play backgammon, I feellike my whole life is hanging in
the balance.
If I don't roll a five and aone right now, I'm gonna lose $5
.
And it doesn't even matterabout the money.
It's just somehow that $5 feelsso big that I'm getting the
sweats.
That's crazy, that's nuts, ifyou really think about it.
(04:20):
And me and my friend group callthese the tickles.
We're chasing tickles, whichsounds super molesty.
I think that is the themethat's going on right now in
life.
We're just chasing tickles, andthey're super easy tickles.
You know, you could log on toDraftKings right now and bet a
super uncomfortable amount ofmoney on some game that you've
(04:43):
never watched and all of asudden you're going to be
tickled to death for the nexttwo hours.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
Not at all, anyway.
Food for thought.
So, without further ado, todaywe're going to be talking about
the things that happened thisweek that are, well, pretty
unprecedented in my life.
I mean, I'm going to be honestwith you.
I've done enoughhallucinogenics where I think a
(05:05):
doctor, I was already animpressionable person, meaning I
was always suggestible from ayoung age.
I do tell a story.
At one point my sisterconvinced me she was at she had
braces.
At the time she was 15 yearsold.
She convinced me that she was.
She had dentures because I hadfound some denture cleaning
tablets underneath her sink.
(05:26):
And I said why do you havedenture cleaning tablets?
And she said because I havedentures, and without I was 12
years old, said without, withoutskipping a beat, I go, can you
take them out, like?
I fully believed her.
And she was like I can't.
They clean them every threemonths, but because of the
braces on my dentures, like Ihad.
No, there was nothingsuspicious about some a 15 year
(05:50):
old girl with dentures, withbraces on them.
I just believed her, I justbelieved people and I have
always believed people and I'vehad to fight it for so long.
It's sort of a sense of whywould people lie?
Why would you lie?
Why would you lie to me abouthaving dentures?
And the answer is because myolder sister is evil.
(06:11):
Now she's a wonderful,beautiful, beautiful, loving
person, but she too has a littlebit of mischief.
So, anyway, I've always beensomewhat suggestible, and now I
have to stop the tape to go backto why I started talking about
this.
This is where we're at in ourlife so suggestibility.
So, one of my best friends, Imade a mistake last week.
(06:34):
I said a full name.
I got permission to keep thefull name, but we're not going
to do that anymore.
It's none of anyone's businesswho I'm talking about, but I
will say that I have beencircling TRT.
Trt stands for testosteronereplacement therapy.
Now I'm 46.
In my circles, in the actingcircles, in Hollywood circles,
(06:56):
trt is such old news.
I mean, the amount oftestosterone that actors are on
is so beyond.
You know there's a great storyabout like these physiques that
you see on the big screen thatyou enjoy these characters
they're playing, maybe they're,you know, a night security guard
(07:17):
, and then they take their shirtoff and they're super yoked.
It's like their life.
In order to be that, shreddedand yoked is like three hours in
the gym eating fucking chickenand broccoli out of tupperware
every night, like people saythey're method actors.
It's like, come on, man, dude,you're you.
(07:37):
You can't be that yoked and notjust have the most boring
fucking life on earth.
Just so disciplined, no joy atthe dining table, no, fuck it
energy when, when feasting,you're just a little fucking
bitch getting all shredded soyou can look good on the screen
(07:59):
as you, as you starting to.
I'm trying to bring back, kindof bring back a little bit more
of a soft vibe to hollywood.
I'm not saying that, like I'mnot saying that paul newman and
robert redford weren't beautifulmen who were nice and cut back
in the 60s and 70s.
But it's gotten insane.
You know these men's pecs,these titties that are just kind
(08:21):
of like you know, an inch outlike bubble butting, full bubble
butt, titty shredded.
I mean, are we really into this?
There's that whole theory aboutlike trickle down.
You know, like when the musclemags, like arnold.
If you go back to pumping iron,which is crazy I love early
arnold, I mean what a beautifullooking man, I mean really,
really handsome.
(08:41):
But if you watch pumping ironor his early stuff, conan the
barbarian, even hercules um, heis.
He.
By today's standards, he'salmost just like ho-hum.
Like this is ArnoldSchwarzenegger and he's ho-hum
by today's standards.
Like people are fucking losingtheir shit.
Like I'm in the gym, I'm going.
(09:03):
Who finds this shit attractive?
You know like what?
It's cuckoo's nest out there.
And then if you really askpeople, microphone, like hand on
the Bible, like what do youfind attractive in a man?
It's gonna be like a, like alean six foot one.
You know, midfielder forchelsea in the premier league.
You know, just like shredded,strong, fit, nimble, great
(09:27):
haircut.
You know, like this, this whole, like yokeville.
Like who are these people that?
Like this?
It's got to be social media andsomething like just like.
Like even my son and I'm reallyfighting the urge to not spend
this entire episode talkingabout my son, but this is a huge
moment in a man's life mydaughter, like there's a
(09:49):
simplicity there.
I'm like, yep, she's becoming awoman.
You know my job is to just liketreat her, just love on her so
much, you know, make sure shefeels so good about everything,
and then yell at heroccasionally about being a lazy
good for nothing human.
You know what I mean, but mostof the time, be really, really
(10:10):
supportive.
But my son, you know, I'mbecoming my dad, like this
summer, everyone's.
I've got these injuries, okay,and I'm hobbling around.
I've got plantar fasciitis.
I now have tennis elbow.
All I care about is is thesesort of meaningless tournaments
(10:31):
in August and I can't plan themand I'm just fighting off the
demons of depression because Ican't.
You know, I feel like anOlympic athlete that you know is
missing the games because youknow he just just didn't take
care of his body.
You know, but obviously thesearen't the Olympics.
This is, this is a nothingburger, but but what's so fun is
(10:52):
making it, making it not anothing burger, making it just
as big as Wimbledon, and I thinkabout it all the time.
I want it.
I want it so bad.
And now I have to sit thisthing out, and I'm not a spring
chicken, I mean, next year I'mgoing to be 47.
I'm running out of time,running out of time, and so
(11:12):
again I have to go back to whatI was just talking about to get
my train of thought.
Excuse me, that's right, I'mbecoming my dad, and not only
this is going to gross you out,but sometimes you'll lay a fart
and you'll be like that's how mydad smelled and you're like my
GI system is morphing into myfather.
It's's a really, really, reallydark moment in your life and I
(11:34):
know you've been there andanyway.
So I'm looking at my son andI'm going.
He's going to become anabsolute degenerate in about
three years.
He's 11.
But I'm seeing it Like rightnow he's like Dad, I need to
watch Ted.
Somehow.
I let him watch Ted 1.
, then the next night I let himwatch Ted 1.
(11:56):
, then the next night I let himwatch Ted 2.
He's currently watching Ted,the television series.
The amount of and if you haven'tseen it, I mean you know it's
extremely funny, but it's alsojust so dirty and so
expletive-laden and so much drugreference and I'm just like,
(12:16):
why am I letting an 11-year-oldwatch?
A bear like rip, bong hits, youknow, and there's just a creep
coming in in my life of givingless and less fucks.
It's approaching nihilism,that's just a word, but there's
a sense of okay, like, do Ithink forbidding my son to watch
(12:39):
Ted, the tv series or themovies is going to have a
substantive impact on hisjourney through life?
Is it going to mean anything?
Perhaps it will mean everythingbecause you don't know.
You think you're doing theright thing as a parent.
But I've listened to enoughpodcasts and I've read enough
(13:00):
biographies to know whenlightning strikes for people who
find their bliss to bring itback.
And who am I to say that louisisn't gonna watch ted and be
like I am gonna make it my lifemission to bring a teddy bear
back to life kidding, I'm gonnamake it my life mission to write
(13:22):
comedy, uh, to make movies, tostart stalking mark walberg.
You never know, it could be bad, it could be good, but you
don't know.
And there's one guy I follow,incredibly smart, like probably
one of the smartest human beingson the planet, and he is a firm
(13:42):
believer in letting your kidsdo everything they want, always.
And he has, like, if you listen, he has this pretty powerful
argument which I may have todevote some episode time to at a
future date.
But I mean, can you fuckingimagine just no rules, like
(14:05):
maybe they bleed out on theiraddiction to video games?
It's a balls move.
There's some parents doing itLike conscientious parents who
are just going that route.
Anyway, the becoming your fatheris a good subject that I do
think we can milk for materialBecoming your mother.
(14:26):
I mean the amount of times Iwant to say, man, you know, as
people approach me like, yeah,dave, you're, you're walking
just like your dad.
You're really reminding me ofyour dad this summer.
My dad's 85 and is in awheelchair and I also found out
that that I think that genuinelymy wife is, is is not psyched
at how hobbled I am, meaningshe's a very compassionate
(14:48):
person and if I'm ever injuredor I'm ever in a vulnerable
position, I definitely get somelike Florence Nightingale vibes,
almost to the point where Iwant to fake it.
But this time because I'mhobbling so much and I'm wearing
a very baggy pleated khaki.
That's so comfortable, and Iread that pleats are back and
(15:08):
baggies back, so I'm reallyleaning into it.
I look like a prepubescent prepschool kid, you know, who just
can't fill out a khaki, but it'sso comfortable, I'm going to
stick with it all summer.
But my point is it was thefirst time my wife was like all
summer.
But my point is it was thefirst time my wife was like, do
you do you know how pissed youwould be if I was like hobbling
(15:29):
around like an old woman thissummer?
And then she was right, youknow what I mean.
Men want their wives lookinggood.
So, yeah, I'm just gonna getcortisone shots, um, I'm getting
injected with the wolverinestack and some testosterone
replacement therapy All by, Iguess, the next episode, so the
(15:51):
announcement today, and I thinkthere's going to be a nice
beautiful evolution here.
You're going to you've beenlistening either this is your
first episode or many but you'vebeen listening to a guy with
reasonably mid to lowtestosterone numbers.
Within a few weeks, you'regoing to be listening to a
(16:12):
podcast with a guy with 90thpercentile T, high T.
Now, does that mean I'm justgoing to be like beating off the
entire time I'm recording?
I certainly hope not, and I dopromise you that if that ever
happens, I will tell you.
But I think some change isafoot.
(16:33):
I am just going to medicallyexperiment with myself to bring
it back, because I just want toplay in the last tournament of
the season, which is in 10 days.
So I'm currently, for all myinjuries, I'm doing acupuncture,
pt, human growth hormone andtestosterone and I'm doing
everything I can to get back onthe court.
(16:55):
And the last teaser I'll giveyou is that I'm a huge Howard
Stern fan.
He's probably the one celebritythat when he dies or retires,
but really when he dies.
I anticipate when Howard Sterndies, that I will fall, I will
cry and I will fall into aprofound depression that that
(17:16):
light is no longer in the worldto share his brain.
And if you're not a Howard fan,I totally get it.
But for my money nobody touchesthe guy.
Nobody touches him, and it'spart of the reason why I never
listened to any other podcast isbecause you know there's 12
(17:36):
hours of Howard a week that Igot to cover.
So who's got the time?
But Robin Quivers has been hissidekick.
She's an absolutely beautifullyfun, welcoming black woman
who's been with him since thevery earliest days, started as a
newswoman.
He started vibing with her andwe're going to do I'm going to
(17:59):
do a little experiment, becausethere's someone that I've known
my whole life that maybe I don'tthink, realistically speaking,
every episode we could have ithappen, but as someone who, just
you know, will splice up thedroning of my voice over and
over and over, I won't revealwho it is, but I'm just teasing
(18:19):
it and, yeah, I'm excited.
So that's what we got for thisweek.
Once again, I'm just wishingyou a little bit different this
I wish you peace and I wish youlove and I wish you connection.
But I definitely wish you alittle bit more debauchery, a
little more wildness.
Whatever that part of you, thatwolf, that bad wolf, that
(18:41):
mischievous wolf, this is thecouple weeks to throw it a
little piece of meat in the cage.
See you next week.
This is that final little sweet, melancholy stretch
of a summer where you have fulllicense to let the wheels
completely come off of your life.
Really, lean in to that personyou're trying not to become,
just become him or her.
All those sort of id, thoseprimal instincts.
(00:21):
I'm not saying torture life,I'm not saying you know, go have
an affair or anything like that.
I'm just saying lean in to thedebauchery that you know you
want, that maybe, just maybe youneed oh man, that's rubbish.
(00:58):
That's rubbish.
If you're listening to this forthe first time, don't worry, you
haven't missed anything.
There's nothing you need to goback for.
There's nothing you need tocatch up on.
What you're about to hear is aman searching for material for
stand-up sets, and the way hesearches is by revealing things
about his life that he findshe's compelled to talk about.
(01:20):
And then, over throughout thatprocess, that process becomes
apparent what might be funny,what might have a lot of
potential for good material.
And so what you've stumbled onand what I hope you'll stick
around for, is just me having anice little chatty mcgillicuddy
(01:41):
with you, scotty McGillicuddywith you, where we almost
together figure out, you know,areas to bring to the greater
world as many laughs as possible.
It's been a tough day, it'sbeen a little depressing, you
know.
I think what I really want totalk about is that for the
middle-aged people out there,there comes a time in your life
(02:04):
where you basically just want tobe a 10-year-old, and so, at
least for me, what I loved to dowhen I was 10 was play tennis,
feel a rush of adrenaline, hangout with my friends and feel
like I was right on the edge ofbreaking the rules.
You know, right on the edge ofmischief that there were stakes,
(02:25):
there was danger in the air.
And if you actually study, likeJoseph Campbell, who wrote A
Hero with a Thousand Faces,profoundly, a profound book, his
level of insight intopsychology, the human condition,
myth, archetypes, is withoutparallel.
(02:46):
The movie Star Wars wouldn'thave been written without Joseph
Campbell.
What I'm trying to say if you'veever heard the expression
follow your bliss, that is aJoseph Campbell, basically one
big idea, and it's exactly athrough line from last week's
episode, which is like what doyou enjoy?
How do I, as a father, as ahouseholder responsible for food
(03:11):
and shelter, muster the energyto do anything other than the
most enjoyable hobbies Tennis,golf, backgammon, hanging with
friends, a new skill.
You know it's funny as I saythis out loud, and this is why
this is so valuable.
I realize that there'ssomething very missing in this.
(03:33):
A hobbied life is nice, butmaybe there's just no huge dream
there.
There's not enough of a quest,there's not enough of a hero's
journey in the kind of pleasurezones we need to be tested more.
The problem is, when I playtennis, for example, I feel
(03:56):
extremely tested.
When I play backgammon, I feellike my whole life is hanging in
the balance.
If I don't roll a five and aone right now, I'm gonna lose $5
.
And it doesn't even matterabout the money.
It's just somehow that $5 feelsso big that I'm getting the
sweats.
That's crazy, that's nuts, ifyou really think about it.
(04:20):
And me and my friend group callthese the tickles.
We're chasing tickles, whichsounds super molesty.
I think that is the themethat's going on right now in
life.
We're just chasing tickles, andthey're super easy tickles.
You know, you could log on toDraftKings right now and bet a
super uncomfortable amount ofmoney on some game that you've
(04:43):
never watched and all of asudden you're going to be
tickled to death for the nexttwo hours.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
Not at all, anyway.
Food for thought.
So, without further ado, todaywe're going to be talking about
the things that happened thisweek that are, well, pretty
unprecedented in my life.
I mean, I'm going to be honestwith you.
I've done enoughhallucinogenics where I think a
(05:05):
doctor, I was already animpressionable person, meaning I
was always suggestible from ayoung age.
I do tell a story.
At one point my sisterconvinced me she was at she had
braces.
At the time she was 15 yearsold.
She convinced me that she was.
She had dentures because I hadfound some denture cleaning
tablets underneath her sink.
(05:26):
And I said why do you havedenture cleaning tablets?
And she said because I havedentures, and without I was 12
years old, said without, withoutskipping a beat, I go, can you
take them out, like?
I fully believed her.
And she was like I can't.
They clean them every threemonths, but because of the
braces on my dentures, like Ihad.
No, there was nothingsuspicious about some a 15 year
(05:50):
old girl with dentures, withbraces on them.
I just believed her, I justbelieved people and I have
always believed people and I'vehad to fight it for so long.
It's sort of a sense of whywould people lie?
Why would you lie?
Why would you lie to me abouthaving dentures?
And the answer is because myolder sister is evil.
(06:11):
Now she's a wonderful,beautiful, beautiful, loving
person, but she too has a littlebit of mischief.
So, anyway, I've always beensomewhat suggestible, and now I
have to stop the tape to go backto why I started talking about
this.
This is where we're at in ourlife so suggestibility.
So, one of my best friends, Imade a mistake last week.
(06:34):
I said a full name.
I got permission to keep thefull name, but we're not going
to do that anymore.
It's none of anyone's businesswho I'm talking about, but I
will say that I have beencircling TRT.
Trt stands for testosteronereplacement therapy.
Now I'm 46.
In my circles, in the actingcircles, in Hollywood circles,
(06:56):
trt is such old news.
I mean, the amount oftestosterone that actors are on
is so beyond.
You know there's a great storyabout like these physiques that
you see on the big screen thatyou enjoy these characters
they're playing, maybe they're,you know, a night security guard
(07:17):
, and then they take their shirtoff and they're super yoked.
It's like their life.
In order to be that, shreddedand yoked is like three hours in
the gym eating fucking chickenand broccoli out of tupperware
every night, like people saythey're method actors.
It's like, come on, man, dude,you're you.
(07:37):
You can't be that yoked and notjust have the most boring
fucking life on earth.
Just so disciplined, no joy atthe dining table, no, fuck it
energy when, when feasting,you're just a little fucking
bitch getting all shredded soyou can look good on the screen
(07:59):
as you, as you starting to.
I'm trying to bring back, kindof bring back a little bit more
of a soft vibe to hollywood.
I'm not saying that, like I'mnot saying that paul newman and
robert redford weren't beautifulmen who were nice and cut back
in the 60s and 70s.
But it's gotten insane.
You know these men's pecs,these titties that are just kind
(08:21):
of like you know, an inch outlike bubble butting, full bubble
butt, titty shredded.
I mean, are we really into this?
There's that whole theory aboutlike trickle down.
You know, like when the musclemags, like arnold.
If you go back to pumping iron,which is crazy I love early
arnold, I mean what a beautifullooking man, I mean really,
really handsome.
(08:41):
But if you watch pumping ironor his early stuff, conan the
barbarian, even hercules um, heis.
He.
By today's standards, he'salmost just like ho-hum.
Like this is ArnoldSchwarzenegger and he's ho-hum
by today's standards.
Like people are fucking losingtheir shit.
Like I'm in the gym, I'm going.
(09:03):
Who finds this shit attractive?
You know like what?
It's cuckoo's nest out there.
And then if you really askpeople, microphone, like hand on
the Bible, like what do youfind attractive in a man?
It's gonna be like a, like alean six foot one.
You know, midfielder forchelsea in the premier league.
You know, just like shredded,strong, fit, nimble, great
(09:27):
haircut.
You know, like this, this whole, like yokeville.
Like who are these people that?
Like this?
It's got to be social media andsomething like just like.
Like even my son and I'm reallyfighting the urge to not spend
this entire episode talkingabout my son, but this is a huge
moment in a man's life mydaughter, like there's a
(09:49):
simplicity there.
I'm like, yep, she's becoming awoman.
You know my job is to just liketreat her, just love on her so
much, you know, make sure shefeels so good about everything,
and then yell at heroccasionally about being a lazy
good for nothing human.
You know what I mean, but mostof the time, be really, really
(10:10):
supportive.
But my son, you know, I'mbecoming my dad, like this
summer, everyone's.
I've got these injuries, okay,and I'm hobbling around.
I've got plantar fasciitis.
I now have tennis elbow.
All I care about is is thesesort of meaningless tournaments
(10:31):
in August and I can't plan themand I'm just fighting off the
demons of depression because Ican't.
You know, I feel like anOlympic athlete that you know is
missing the games because youknow he just just didn't take
care of his body.
You know, but obviously thesearen't the Olympics.
This is, this is a nothingburger, but but what's so fun is
(10:52):
making it, making it not anothing burger, making it just
as big as Wimbledon, and I thinkabout it all the time.
I want it.
I want it so bad.
And now I have to sit thisthing out, and I'm not a spring
chicken, I mean, next year I'mgoing to be 47.
I'm running out of time,running out of time, and so
(11:12):
again I have to go back to whatI was just talking about to get
my train of thought.
Excuse me, that's right, I'mbecoming my dad, and not only
this is going to gross you out,but sometimes you'll lay a fart
and you'll be like that's how mydad smelled and you're like my
GI system is morphing into myfather.
It's's a really, really, reallydark moment in your life and I
(11:34):
know you've been there andanyway.
So I'm looking at my son andI'm going.
He's going to become anabsolute degenerate in about
three years.
He's 11.
But I'm seeing it Like rightnow he's like Dad, I need to
watch Ted.
Somehow.
I let him watch Ted 1.
, then the next night I let himwatch Ted 1.
(11:56):
, then the next night I let himwatch Ted 2.
He's currently watching Ted,the television series.
The amount of and if you haven'tseen it, I mean you know it's
extremely funny, but it's alsojust so dirty and so
expletive-laden and so much drugreference and I'm just like,
(12:16):
why am I letting an 11-year-oldwatch?
A bear like rip, bong hits, youknow, and there's just a creep
coming in in my life of givingless and less fucks.
It's approaching nihilism,that's just a word, but there's
a sense of okay, like, do Ithink forbidding my son to watch
(12:39):
Ted, the tv series or themovies is going to have a
substantive impact on hisjourney through life?
Is it going to mean anything?
Perhaps it will mean everythingbecause you don't know.
You think you're doing theright thing as a parent.
But I've listened to enoughpodcasts and I've read enough
(13:00):
biographies to know whenlightning strikes for people who
find their bliss to bring itback.
And who am I to say that louisisn't gonna watch ted and be
like I am gonna make it my lifemission to bring a teddy bear
back to life kidding, I'm gonnamake it my life mission to write
(13:22):
comedy, uh, to make movies, tostart stalking mark walberg.
You never know, it could be bad, it could be good, but you
don't know.
And there's one guy I follow,incredibly smart, like probably
one of the smartest human beingson the planet, and he is a firm
(13:42):
believer in letting your kidsdo everything they want, always.
And he has, like, if you listen, he has this pretty powerful
argument which I may have todevote some episode time to at a
future date.
But I mean, can you fuckingimagine just no rules, like
(14:05):
maybe they bleed out on theiraddiction to video games?
It's a balls move.
There's some parents doing itLike conscientious parents who
are just going that route.
Anyway, the becoming your fatheris a good subject that I do
think we can milk for materialBecoming your mother.
(14:26):
I mean the amount of times Iwant to say, man, you know, as
people approach me like, yeah,dave, you're, you're walking
just like your dad.
You're really reminding me ofyour dad this summer.
My dad's 85 and is in awheelchair and I also found out
that that I think that genuinelymy wife is, is is not psyched
at how hobbled I am, meaningshe's a very compassionate
(14:48):
person and if I'm ever injuredor I'm ever in a vulnerable
position, I definitely get somelike Florence Nightingale vibes,
almost to the point where Iwant to fake it.
But this time because I'mhobbling so much and I'm wearing
a very baggy pleated khaki.
That's so comfortable, and Iread that pleats are back and
(15:08):
baggies back, so I'm reallyleaning into it.
I look like a prepubescent prepschool kid, you know, who just
can't fill out a khaki, but it'sso comfortable, I'm going to
stick with it all summer.
But my point is it was thefirst time my wife was like all
summer.
But my point is it was thefirst time my wife was like, do
you do you know how pissed youwould be if I was like hobbling
(15:29):
around like an old woman thissummer?
And then she was right, youknow what I mean.
Men want their wives lookinggood.
So, yeah, I'm just gonna getcortisone shots, um, I'm getting
injected with the wolverinestack and some testosterone
replacement therapy All by, Iguess, the next episode, so the
(15:51):
announcement today, and I thinkthere's going to be a nice
beautiful evolution here.
You're going to you've beenlistening either this is your
first episode or many but you'vebeen listening to a guy with
reasonably mid to lowtestosterone numbers.
Within a few weeks, you'regoing to be listening to a
(16:12):
podcast with a guy with 90thpercentile T, high T.
Now, does that mean I'm justgoing to be like beating off the
entire time I'm recording?
I certainly hope not, and I dopromise you that if that ever
happens, I will tell you.
But I think some change isafoot.
(16:33):
I am just going to medicallyexperiment with myself to bring
it back, because I just want toplay in the last tournament of
the season, which is in 10 days.
So I'm currently, for all myinjuries, I'm doing acupuncture,
pt, human growth hormone andtestosterone and I'm doing
everything I can to get back onthe court.
(16:55):
And the last teaser I'll giveyou is that I'm a huge Howard
Stern fan.
He's probably the one celebritythat when he dies or retires,
but really when he dies.
I anticipate when Howard Sterndies, that I will fall, I will
cry and I will fall into aprofound depression that that
(17:16):
light is no longer in the worldto share his brain.
And if you're not a Howard fan,I totally get it.
But for my money nobody touchesthe guy.
Nobody touches him, and it'spart of the reason why I never
listened to any other podcast isbecause you know there's 12
(17:36):
hours of Howard a week that Igot to cover.
So who's got the time?
But Robin Quivers has been hissidekick.
She's an absolutely beautifullyfun, welcoming black woman
who's been with him since thevery earliest days, started as a
newswoman.
He started vibing with her andwe're going to do I'm going to
(17:59):
do a little experiment, becausethere's someone that I've known
my whole life that maybe I don'tthink, realistically speaking,
every episode we could have ithappen, but as someone who, just
you know, will splice up thedroning of my voice over and
over and over, I won't revealwho it is, but I'm just teasing
(18:19):
it and, yeah, I'm excited.
So that's what we got for thisweek.
Once again, I'm just wishingyou a little bit different this
I wish you peace and I wish youlove and I wish you connection.
But I definitely wish you alittle bit more debauchery, a
little more wildness.
Whatever that part of you, thatwolf, that bad wolf, that
(18:41):
mischievous wolf, this is thecouple weeks to throw it a
little piece of meat in the cage.
See you next week.
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