#43- The Coldplay Scandal

Mindfulness of Adultery

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, I'm very excited about this episode.
It's short, it's sweet, but Igot a text message from a dear,
dear friend of mine We'll justcall him Austin that is actually
his name, but I've learned notto do last names but he was
listening to some shows andwe've been talking about this.
We've been talking comedy sincewe went to high school together

(00:20):
, so this is 25, 30 years.
We went to high school together, so this is 25, 30 years.
But, as longtime listeners willknow, I have done a number of
meditations for degenerates,whether it's someone mindfully
doing cocaine, mindfully beingjust obscenely and offensively

(00:42):
rich we had talked about for awhile.
This is a rich area, there's alot of possibility here, and you
know I get scatterbrained.
I'm a scatterbrained person.
I never kind of remember what Iwas excited about, and so it
takes good friends to kind ofbring me back.

(01:03):
And so Austin told me about, hereminded me essentially that
there's something very fertilehere, and so it's really a.
It's sort of a, if you had tomacro it, it's like meditations
for degenerates.
You know really obscene, absurdsituations.
You know really obscene, absurdsituations.

(01:29):
My first idea which is just too, I think, dark for this but may
happen was just like meditationfor, like, a closeted gay man
who goes to thailand to fuck manboys, that's a little extreme,
uh, to begin so, we're going tostart with something that's, you
know, very of topic, and thisis a meditation for people
having work affairs, which wasall due all credit, was an

(01:54):
Austin idea and is an Austinidea, but we then, kind of, I
had been thinking a lot aboutthis insane situation of the
Boston CEO getting busted at theColdplay concert, and so it
felt like something we couldmerge a little bit.
So we're in the weeds here,you're behind the scenes, but

(02:18):
this is a meditation for peopleabout to have a work affair and
ruin their life.
Please enjoy.
I'm not coming back after themeditation.
It's deep August and we allhave a lot to do, and so I hope
you'll forgive me, but I'llpreempt by saying it's so fun to

(02:42):
be here with you, I love youand I really, really am so
appreciative that you'relistening and, um, take a moment
, close your eyes and and justmeditate on an extramarital
affair with a work colleague.
Please enjoy.
Oh man, that's rubbish.

(03:22):
That's rubbish.
Alright, thank you for joiningus.
Meditation for those about tohave a work affair and go to a
Coldplay concert.
I just want everyone to justtake a deep breath and settle

(03:43):
into your ergonomic Hampton Inndesk chair and I appreciate that
this desk chair from HamptonInn has witnessed a hundred,
maybe a thousand otherjustifications just like yours

(04:11):
justifications just like yoursand feel and appreciate the
synthetic fabric against yourskin as artificial as your.
That's a really great point,brad.
During his to our presentationon synergy, let your awareness

(04:36):
just rest on your breath in andout, noticing how it quickens
every time you get a text fromyour spouse back home and simply
observe those guilt feelingsarise, just energy in your gut,
and then mindfully release theminto the $24 airport Toblerone
you've already categorized asclient entertainment.

(04:57):
And now we're gonna bringattention to just any tension in
your body.
Notice the residual tightnessin your core from sucking in
your gut during the mandatoryfun run and feel the weight of
your wedding ring, which canalways be mindfully transferred

(05:23):
to your laptop bag.
After all, the Buddha taught usthat attachment to metal
objects leads to suffering.
And now scan your body for justany anxious thoughts that are
arising.
Perhaps it's.
If it happens in central time,does it affect karma in Eastern

(05:48):
Time?
Is it technically cheating ifwe're both crying about Q3
projections.

(06:09):
Simply observe these thoughtswithout judgment, like you'll
observe yourself mass-deletingTeams messages at 6am.
And now let's feel into thepresent moment.
You're just.
You're just a CEO and an HRgirl who found unexpected

(06:37):
connection during the fallbackward into adultery.
Trust, exercise and notice howthe just the harsh fluorescent
lighting of the conferencecenter makes the wedding ring
practically invisible.
And as we deepen into thispractice, set an intention for

(07:00):
your evening at Coldplay.
Maybe it's to explore thatspark you felt during the
Building Better Boundariesworkshop.
Or perhaps it's to convinceyourself that what happens at
the Holiday Inn Express stays asa tax write-off.

(07:22):
And when you're ready, slowlyopen your eyes, returning to
this moment of perfect clarity.
And with eyes open, just takeone final mindful breath, as

(07:45):
Chris Martin himself points outyour desperate duck for cover to
20,000 people, and then expressgratitude for tik-tok as it
does what tik-tok does best.
Perhaps this is what the Buddhameant by all things are
temporary, especially your, yourmarriage and your job and your

(08:10):
ability to ever listen to.
Fix you by Coldplay again,without shitting yourself, thank
you.