September 11, 2025 • 34 mins
I rewatched A Star Is Born and had to eat my words: for years I thought “I could’ve played those roles,” then Cooper drops a triple-threat and I’m like—nope. We get into why acting drunk is hard, Vince Vaughn worship, and my delusional Hangover-era confidence.
Meanwhile, a frank TRT update: more energy, weird cravings, and yes—titties. DIM, white mushrooms, carrot salad, Florida peptides, headaches, and how “not giving a f*ck” can quietly torpedo your life if you let it.
Also: Trader Joe’s culty checkout vibes, boarding school apps, the kid monoculture, accents I should retire, and a quick riff on gratitude/God.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
A Star is Born twice I saw I hadn't seen it since it
came out.
For those haven't seen it.
Um, that stars Lady Gaga andBradley Cooper.
He wrote and directed it, or hedirected it and as a co-writing
credit and I loved it.
I mean it's just an excellentmovie.
(00:43):
Lady Gaga's wonderful Cooper,again, again, is just kind of
doing the thing.
If you were to pull any actorgrowing up in the 90s what their
dream career would be, they'relying if they didn't say it's
Bradley Cooper's, because theguy, you know he was sort of a
heartthrob guy but then and out.
(01:03):
You know I think he had afailed pilot for fox, called
kitchen confidential I think itwas based on the book and then
he did, uh, wedding crashers andclearly he got to the point
where his intelligence and theseriousness of his pursuit and
his acting abilities werestarting to get known.
(01:23):
And when he did the Jenniferthis is why I need someone when
he did Silver Linings playbook,that's when I go, oh fuck, he's
doing what I want and you thinkhe's just going to be like one
of these actors who's reallygood, he just loves acting.
And then then he busts out Staris Born.
And I was mad when he was inthe Hangover I was like because
(01:45):
we were sort of a similar typewhere I was like I felt like
this is, I'm perfectly capableof being roasted for this, but I
felt like I could have done abetter job in the Hangover,
being sort of funny in that role.
I didn't think Cooper was veryfunny.
I think he's a good actor, butI remember watching the Hangover
and being upset that I couldn'twatch Vince Vaughn in that role
(02:06):
.
Being Vince Vaughn who, just asa sidebar, I think Vince Vaughn
is the genius of our day.
When he's doing his thing, Idon't think there's anyone who
can touch him.
As far as original comedy, I'mmy.
My favorite modern day comicactors are Vince and Ben Stiller
.
They just get me.
They just fucking crush me andbut Vince, when Swingers came
(02:29):
out, there was such a sort ofbuzz among my generation because
it was this low budget moviethat was obviously pulled off.
It was so good and we were incollege about.
You know, in the actor circlesyou were like starting to be
like, okay, what's the next stepfor me?
Am I going to go be an actor?
And then swingers comes out andyou're like, fuck, yeah, I'm
going to be an actor, I'm goingto make swingers.
(02:51):
Um, but Vince Vaughn was, was aforce of nature in swingers.
I mean, no one had ever seenanything like that.
There was no character likethat, the fast talking, just
total original phrasing, greatenergy, lunatic.
There.
I had never seen anything likeit.
It was mesmerizing.
So anyway, we go, and so sortof Bradley Cooper comes along
(03:15):
and you kind of catch sight ofhim in Wedding Crashers and
you're like, yeah, he's prettygood douchebag, but I could be a
better douchebag than him.
And then, and then hangovercomes out and you're like, yeah,
I could have done better thanhim, fuck.
And then silver liningsplaybook comes out and you're
like, fuck man, that movie is sogood and he does a great job.
(03:38):
And you're like I think I couldhave done that.
I think I could have been youknow, amazing script, amazing
director.
Yeah, yeah, I could have donethat.
And then star is born andyou're amazing script, amazing
director, yeah, yeah, I couldhave done that.
And then star is born and you'relike I can't, I couldn't have
done that.
It's written, directed andstarred in kind of playing off
this alcoholic and he's reallyyeah, he's just very good at
being drunk.
You know really hard to do actdrunk.
(04:00):
I remember in acting school noone can pull off, you know
everyone.
It's no one.
You don't.
You never buy it and it may beeasier on film but yeah, just
that there was never.
There wasn't a false note andit probably helps that you know
he's a recovering alcoholic.
Bradley is so you, you know hehad some good sense memory there
.
But yeah, I mean he crushes itand the directing is fantastic
(04:23):
and the I screened it for my 13year old daughter.
I was like, oh shit, she hasn'tseen this she's going to love.
A star is born and sure enoughshe did.
She just did.
She did start drawing andprocreate with the movie in a
little bubble on her ipad duringthe second act and I actually
it's kind of interesting as atest audience because yeah,
there's a little bit of a drag,like when he's at rehab.
(04:44):
She's just like, and then shewas still drawing when he's
about to commit suicide.
Oh, spoiler alert.
But I was like cecilia, stopdrawing, yeah.
And then she's like he's deadand you're like jesus christ, I
think, my kid.
You know it's hard not to havethe standards, uh, to lower your
standards for your kids, like Ithink I was a pretty dumb 13
(05:07):
year old.
You know, like I didn't.
I didn't not that this is dumb,but I didn't know what sushi
was.
I never even heard of it.
I didn't.
I didn't know what sushi wasuntil I went to brown and you
know this is late.
This is 2000 and I didn't knowwhat sushi was and never had it
growing up.
Boston big family, I thinkthere was just so many kids, we
never many kids.
The only place we went out toeat was this place, charlie's or
Seven Star Mandarin.
(05:27):
So we would go to this sort ofpub in the mall named Charlie's
Not there anymore.
We would go to Seven StarMandarin where they would kick
people out when they saw uscoming because we were table for
nine.
My big family, we kick peopleout for you.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We kick people out for you, oh, mr Walton.
We kick my big family.
We kick people out for you.
We kick people out for you, oh,mr walton.
We kick people out for you.
One minute table ready, extraduck saw I mean that sounds
racist.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But that's literally what he sounded like, literally
just doing an impersonation, andyou can ask any of my friends.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
That's exactly what it sounded like oh, mr walton,
welcome, welcome, we love you,we kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right, this way it's nine people just fucking
destroying poopoo bladders, ducksauce flying around, my dad
just quiet adding up the bills,just anticipating the shitty
chinese food.
It going to cost them about$380.
So much fucking duck sauce.
You know it's just a mechanismto get more duck sauce in your
(06:31):
system.
Just the blue flames for thepoo-poo platters.
I miss those.
You don't see many of thoseanymore.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, I mean it's.
I didn't know sushi Becauseit's like when do you go for
table for nine for sushi?
I mean sushi, when did sushireally start taking off?
Yeah, but that I'm going tohave, I'm going to put an
imaginary co-host here.
I couldn't get in touch withTegan I'm.
When did sushi come big for you?
2005.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
2005, yeah, that's what Ithought.
(07:03):
Yeah, right, when it hit mylips that soy sauce and a nice
little shrimp tempura roll, thatwas my first sushi ever and I
was hooked.
That was my favorite food On adeserted island.
For lunch, I'm having sushi andfor dinner you know what I'm
having.
I'm having probably Indian food, maybe not Cheeseburgers,
(07:23):
probably cheeseburgers.
I get sick of that after awhile.
Feels starts to feel heavy.
Yeah, probably stick withjapanese food.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah we kick people out for you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I do, uh, I do love an asian accent.
I mean that sounds super.
I just sort of like a badneither chinese or japanese
Japanese.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
What's up, bro?
How you doing, man.
Hey, what's your favoriteyou're on?
If you're on a deserted island,what food would you want?
What's up, man?
How you doing, brother.
What food would you like on theisland?
What food?
What food would you like on theisland?
Oh, what food would you like onisland?
Oh, what food would you like onisland?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I'm not your babysitter 18.
What's your favorite number?
That's the only thing I can saywith an Aussie accent.
Hey, what's your favoritenumber?
18.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
What other accents?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
are there?
Yeah, was he a funny lookingfella?
Uh-huh, sure, yeah, you got it.
Uh, oh yeah, we've been playingpond hockey for some time now.
We usually have a couple coldones and then play a little bit
on the pond and then, oh, theother day, my buddy bobby uh,
caught a puck right under hisvisor.
He's got a shiner there.
Yeah, cut him up real bad heyman, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
what's your name?
Boy boy, how you doing, boy,hey boy, if you can't listen,
you can feel it's a nice abusivesouthern man.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Now what else can I do?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
yeah, that's, that's gut.
Would you like me to shit onyour chest?
Would you like to?
Would you like?
Would you?
What is your name?
And would you like me to shiton your chest?
Sprechen Sie an der Chest,would you like me?
Would you like me to sh tospreche an der Chest Und spreche
(09:23):
Und feces Und love the fecesand give me feces or give me
that.
Viva la Mexico the machine isthe la moira.
What's your name, daddy?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
is he rich?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
is he rich like me?
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What do you think I should do?
Where do you want this podcastto go?
I'm looking for listenerfeedback.
Finally, I gotta send out asurvey, or do I just do
something that I enjoy?
You know what would I enjoy?
I feel this resistance totalking to people.
I want it to all be about me.
You know, let's look at an oldjournal.
(10:24):
Oh wow, this is my oldcharacter stuff.
I'm so disappointed.
I think I know what's weirdlyhappened.
I just want to talk a littlebit.
Who's that?
My daughter interrupted.
We're filling out applicationswhere she's considering going to
(10:45):
boarding school like her oldman, and so we're going to go
this fall.
And we're filling outapplications where she's
considering going to boardingschool like her old man, and so
we're going to go this fall andwe're going to look at places
and she's going to fill outapplications and stuff.
And because of the nature ofpublic school education in Maine
, I'm actually really, whethershe goes to boarding school or
not, I'm really excited aboutthe process because it's just
hard and she's going to have toreally reflect, figure out who
(11:07):
she is, what she really likes.
She's going to have to douncomfortable things like go to
interviews.
She's going to experience newplaces.
She's going to imagine herselfand she's going to learn things
about herself and she may learnthat she doesn't want to go, but
she's going to have to studyand take the SSAT she's going to
.
You know, if she gets a shittyscore, she's just going to have
(11:27):
to eat it Like, oh shit, I justI suck at standardized tests.
There's so much almost coddlingnowadays.
You know grade inflation, etcetera.
I just want my kids to get justas cold water in the face.
You know, just be like on paperyou are 100% mediocre, maybe
(11:50):
even below that, I don't, andmaybe not, maybe she'll, maybe
she'll crush the SSATs.
I don't know she's.
She is pretty book smart,street smart, really dumb, but
book smart you.
You know she's doing well inschool, but some of the shit she
says I I can't even say it outhere.
(12:10):
I I won't, I won't say it, butjust yeah, just no understanding
of the world.
You know both my kids.
It's sort of like maine is thisincredible place because there's
a there's sort of a simple,pure life here, but then again,
with all this online stuff andwhat's available to kids, now
there's sort of this monoculturefor middle school kids or any
(12:33):
age kids, like everyone'swatching the same psychotic
youtube videos, the samealgorithmic brain melt.
You know they all now know howto do makeup and how to look
good in the fashion styles.
It's like it used to be.
You could go to like NewHampshire in the nineties and
just see teased out bangs andjust like a completely different
(12:56):
operation.
And now it seems like everybodyjust knows they can still
choose a group, you can stillhave goth and you can still have
not giving a fuck kids.
There's just so much more ofthe knowledge of fashion and the
sharing that it seems almostmore of a monoculture now than
it ever was.
(13:17):
Like you talk to a nail personwho's been doing nails for 30
years and have them tell you howmany more you know.
Fifth, sixth, seventh gradegirls are getting regular
manicures in blue-collar towns.
Like what?
When did this happen?
Am I just an idiot, dad?
(13:38):
This is nuts.
And don't even get me startedon the skincare industrial
complex.
I mean, is anyone going to saysomething that if you just
lollied up a $4 jar of coconutoil on your face every day,
instead of the thousands ofdollars over the course of a
(13:58):
given year or two, that yourskin would look exactly the same
, maybe even better justlollying up some coconut oil
three dollars on the on theaisle at trader trader yos,
trader mings I love how traderjoe's will will change the
second name for whatever cuisineit is.
(14:19):
I love that.
I should probably do some thingsabout Trader Joe's.
I haven't been there in a while.
I used to love it.
But I will say the checkoutpeople at Trader Joe's are
annoying.
I mean, they're just so cheeryand they're just.
It feels like you're in a cultor something.
There's something off there,like way too positive, way too
enthusiastic about what I'mbuying.
(14:39):
Anyway, take a couple aspirin.
I should give you an update.
I should give an update on mytestosterone and Wolverine stack
.
I'm injecting myself nightly thelast three weeks or so,
definitely feeling a difference.
(14:59):
There's a bit, there's moreenergy.
I'm noticing do you ever get?
You know, when you're hungoverand you haven't slept much and
you give so many less fucksabout what you put in your body
and you're just kind of thiscraving machine where you're
almost considering having a beerat 8 in the morning or you just
want to keep it going.
(15:20):
There's sort of a craving formore.
That's what I'm noticing on thetea.
I'm just craving things.
I am starting to get a littlebit healthier.
We're getting back in gear,which is my normal rhythm of
fall.
I sort of find a new dietaryphilosophy and I just go all in
on it Done carnivore, vegan,rapy I did the all sugar.
(15:41):
As you know, that's nottechnically what it is, but I'm
circling a couple ideas rightnow.
You drink your own urine andwhat you eat is based on your
own feces.
So you take pictures of yourfeces and then you upload it and
then this app will tell youwhat to eat is based on your own
feces.
So you take pictures of yourfeces and then you upload it and
then this app will tell youwhat to eat next.
(16:02):
That is all false.
I'm just riffing here.
I got you, did I get you?
No, I'm not drinking my ownurine, but you know whole foods
and not stressing too much.
But it's time to get my ass ingear.
I will say, because of my elbowinjury and because of my foot, I
(16:22):
have not been lifting weightsand so whatever pectoral gains I
had, you know where you hadsome pecs going and I was
starting to bench more than Iever had in my life.
You know, getting up into the195 five times kind of range,
which is a lot and probablycontributed to my elbow Getting
up into the 195 five times kindof range, which is a lot and
(16:43):
probably contributed to my elbow.
But I did notice about a weekor two into my tea that my pecs
were starting to really turninto titties and like B cup
titties, to the point where myson goes, dad, you have boobs.
And I was like, haha, you're afunny boy, get out of this bed,
you're not welcome here everagain.
But no, I said, yeah, no, I do.
And then I was like, no, no,whoa, I do.
(17:05):
And then I looked it up and itturns out that because you're
jacking yourself full ofhormones and these are moderate
amounts, 100 milligrams a week,250 milligram doses, just sort
of a slow buildup of tea, oftestosterone replacement therapy
, I looked it up and sure enoughyour body kind of is like I
(17:28):
don't know what this tea is,maybe I should make more
estrogen and then you can growtitties, and I don't like that.
If a close Howard Stern fanwould know what I was saying
there I was imitating.
I don't like that.
A close Howard Stern fan wouldknow what I was saying there I
was imitating.
I don't like titties, and sowhat I ended up doing was
starting to take this stuffcalled DIM, which is cruciferous
(17:48):
vegetables.
This is like a pill form whereit's basically the equivalent of
eating like 40 pounds ofcruciferous vegetables, because
that can ease your estrogen.
And I do have a bunch of othermechanisms for easing off the
estrogen.
White button mushrooms,evidently, are helpful for that.
Carrot salad with coconut oiland salt can also have some
(18:10):
anti-estrogenic effects.
This is not a dietary podcast,but it's certainly turning into
one, and I thank you for beinghere Now.
So the titties are there.
The titties are real, I'm notgoing to lie.
So it's time to get back in thegym and to try to.
You know, at least if you'regoing to have fat titties, you
(18:31):
better have muscle too.
And you know those guys who'vegot big pecs but they've got a
lot of fat around them, and Imay just have to be that guy.
You know what I mean.
I may, just that's going to bewho I am, so that's good.
The other thing is I'minjecting myself every night
with the Wolverine peptide stack, which is a sort of gray area.
You get it from a compoundingpharmacy in Florida.
(18:53):
Need I say anymore?
And this stuff a couple weeksin and not noticing much except
kind of a persistent headache,which could be the tea as well.
But I got to get.
I got to find out what that is.
Evidently, some of thesepeptides create new blood
vessels and stuff.
They help just heal by gettingmore blood flow going everywhere
(19:16):
, and so maybe that's, I'mgetting more blood vessels, so
I'm getting more pressure in myhead.
Anyway, this is all to say.
The testosterone there's lessenergy dipping.
It's not some magical elixirwhere I feel like a new person,
but yeah, there's definitely asense of I'm actually calmer,
(19:37):
I'm able to handle stressfulsituations better, and so I'm
into it.
We'll see how it goes.
But yeah, I just wanted to giveyou the update that we're and
TRT, I would say four to eightweeks in is when you really
start to evidently feel theeffects.
So we'll keep our eye on that.
Anyway, but what I really wantedto talk about is this idea of
(19:58):
not giving fucks, and in a weirdway, for my whole life I've
given very many fucks about whatpeople think of me, and that
can be helpful because you're intune, I'm generally a people
pleaser.
I like to make people happy.
I don't like bad energy beingthrown in my way.
I don't like it when peoplehate me, so that's why I'm like
(20:22):
kind of mesmerized by someonelike Donald Trump, who can just
like sit in the pocket and beloathed by millions of people
and just not give a fuck.
There's something there.
He's obviously getting adoredby many people, but I think we
can all agree that people whoseem to just spit it out and not
(20:42):
care about the vitriol that'sbeing thrown their way is a
pretty mesmerizing thing towatch and there's probably some
envy there, because we all ormost people, I know just want
more of giving less fucks.
We feel like it's getting inthe way of either pursuing a
dream because we don't want tobe ridiculed or we won't be
deemed as bad, or feelingimportant.
(21:03):
Of course, a lot of resistance.
When I was doing this podcastinitially, I just opened my
journal and it's like I'm justwigging out about how to launch
this thing just profoundresistance, and you can see it
in these first episodes like I'mjust like ah.
And then you do it and yourealize like jesus man, you were
overthinking this thing.
(21:24):
First of all, no one gives afuck.
And second, uh it, whatever youdo, it's not going to be what
you thought it was going to be.
I mean, look look at this, thiswhole episode, what the hell am
I even doing?
This isn't about stand-up rightnow, but in a weird way it is
because, like I said when I,when I speak this way to you and
(21:45):
I feel like we've created thisrelationship uh, things come out
that wouldn't normally come outand play conversation or even
with anyone I know.
So you're like, you're like mysecret friend that I can talk
about things with, and thatopens up the gateways for areas
for the stand-up stage.
So, anyway, the thing I againwant to talk about is this thing
(22:06):
of not giving any fucks, and Ican feel it.
I can feel myself giving lessfucks about what people think.
I think this podcast helpsbecause you realize you don't
really care anymore.
You care less.
You've said all this stuff thatyou think gives you a tickle of
like I don't know if I shouldhave said that and then you're
(22:26):
met with just a deafeningsilence, and so you're like well
, obviously I'm just talking tomyself in my office, like no one
cares.
So there's almost a momentum,like a snowball rolling down a
mountain, where you start sayingwhat's on your mind a little
bit more.
No one cares, and then soyou're like, oh, I guess I don't
(22:46):
care as much about what peoplethink, and then, but that can
lead and basically it'sdangerous is what I'm trying to
say.
It's being, I feel, I feel likeI'm in a dangerous place where
it's bleeding into just notcaring about looks or
presentation.
I mean I just went to a school,6th grade open house, and I
(23:07):
think I looked homeless.
I mean my hair was a completedisaster Overly tight tee with
my titties, like I should haveworn a bra.
Tight tee with my titties, likeI should have worn a bra.
I think my midriff, my, my, myspare tire was hanging out and I
was wearing a work jacket.
That that was a wrap gift frompower.
(23:27):
Ghost star.
Show that no one in scarboroughis no one has seen, but it kind
of looked like.
I just looked like a weirdtennis player who's like also a
tree trimmer or like a forester,and then I'm wearing these
absurd you know the shoes, andmy friend Max had pitched this
as a stand-up bit.
(23:47):
But just like the fact thatit's now becoming the norm for
everyone to look like they'rethe pimp, and I'm going to get
you sucka With the size of thefucking soles on these running
shoes like the hokas, and I gota pair of these for my plantar
fasciitis and it's making melike six, seven.
I'm so tall now I'm justtowering over people and I'm not
(24:09):
a, you know, I'm not like Shaq,so I look like I don't think
it's a good look.
And again, don't give a fuck.
And so I guess you know there'sthat famous book, the subtle
art of not giving a fuck, byMark Manson, which is a great
book, and I would add, thefollow-up is like the subtle art
of not giving a fuck can leadto the subtle, subtle art of
(24:33):
torpedoing your entire lifebecause you don't give a fuck.
And so the the darkness startsto creep out.
The bad wolf no, I don't thinkany of this makes sense that's
what I thought.
Sorry, sorry about that.
Anyway, maybe giving fucks isimportant.
(24:55):
I mean, really, what it is iswe're trying to give fucks for
the thing, the right things.
You want to give a fuck Aboutyour kids.
You want to give a fuck aboutyour friends and your family.
You want to give a fuck aboutyour community and you want to
give a fuck about your countryand the planet.
What you don't want to give afuck about is what people are
judging you for, what people arecriticizing you for.
(25:18):
Well, even that, you want totake the criticism, you want to
know what's going on, but youdon't want to give a fuck of
basically what people think ofyou.
And that's really my point is,now that I'm giving less fucks
about what people think of me,I'm becoming a disgusting slob,
titty fat.
Disgusting slob who's justgoing to have raging tea and
(25:39):
like you know what if all of asudden smash cut in a year?
I'm just like beating off in amovie theater parking lot for
like a matinee showing of, likea cartoon.
I'm just off the rails.
There's so much tea that I haveto beat off five, six times a
day just to maintain any kind ofsanity.
(26:00):
We'll keep you guys up to date.
Make sure we stay on top ofthat.
You guys want to see some of myjournal notes Just give you an
idea.
So we're like 48 episodes in andthis was my steps to do this.
Stand up.
Step one create trailer.
(26:22):
What is the show?
Work on it, spend one weekwriting, rewriting, then record
and get it right, and I rememberdoing this.
I labored so much over thetrailer of this how to make it
short or how to make it succinct.
I got to re-record it becausethe trailer should be what it
actually is.
I think I need to re-record itbecause the trailer should be
what it actually is.
I think I need to re-record thefirst episode.
The Start here episode, which isInsider Trading, is the number
(26:45):
one most listened to episode.
People still so people willdiscover the show and most
people when they start a podcastare like I don't know what I've
missed.
I don't want to.
There's a resistance to comingin in the middle of something.
There's an episode called starthere and they'll play it, and
so that's the one that getsplayed consistently and the the
whole episode, I think, is medoing a voice with a with the
(27:08):
box cart box car child and thentalking about a kind of a
rambling story about me wantingto me hiding the clown to get
laid, and while that was true atthe time and I felt like I was
really speaking my truth, if I'mbeing honest, that's my.
That's not the truth anymore.
I'm not I'm not really being aclown, I'm not being I'm not
(27:30):
being clowny.
Maybe it was that.
I just wanted to figure out you.
You just want to figure out whoyou are, who you are really,
and have the freedom to have anart form where you can just
speak and you don't have toworry about anyone else and
speak whatever truth you are.
In that moment, those truthschange and the truth now is fuck
(27:51):
, I got no idea what's coming.
This box of chocolates, lifeman, very, very exciting, scary.
I'm going to end with somethinga little different.
I found this on Twitter, nowknown as X.
It was retweeted by Joe Hudson,who's Sam Altman, the founder
(28:14):
of OpenAI, so very famousbillionaire.
It's his executive coach, joeHudson.
I did a course with him thatwas all about kind of emotional
intelligence.
It's called Art ofAccomplishment.
It was Joe Hudson's kind ofprinciples of how to be a leader
and how to function in theworld and how to lead with love
was essentially what you findout that Joe's all about in
(28:38):
every setting, so in workenvironments, etc.
And joe retweeted this and it'sa.
It's based on this idea of like,loving god, right.
So I I always have hated theword god.
I hate it less.
Now I don't hate it.
I'm meaning I felt awkwardsaying it because I'm not a
never been a believer in like awhite bearded guy in the sky.
(29:04):
God always has felt like.
You know this profound mystery.
We all talk about it.
We all make fun of footballplayers when they like recover a
fumble and they're like I justwant to thank Jesus for you know
, giving, helping me recoverthat football.
And you're like you think Jesusgives a fuck about you and your
football dude.
And you know, we've all beenthere, made fun of those
(29:27):
speeches probably, but in aweird way, as I get older, I'm
starting to understand them more, not just more like I
completely understand what thesepeople are coming from.
Now you know there's people whoJesus is God and I get it.
That's not my bag.
However, I think Jesus was anincredibly lit man with an
amazing message and most likelyhas been wildly misinterpreted.
(29:49):
If you're a fucking asshole whois intolerant.
If you have any intolerance,even the slightest vibration of
intolerance, for other religionsor other humans, race, creed,
anything, anything, then you'refucking it up.
But anyway, I'm gonna endstarting stand up with a new
this thing that I think willhelp.
(30:10):
It really answered the questionthat I've very, very I've
pondered for an incredibly longtime is if the purpose of life
is to find and love god,whatever that may may be,
whatever you define it as, howdo you do?
that.
How do you do that if you don'teven know what God is?
And this is what this man,Jesse Poojee, on X, shared and
(30:32):
I'll share it with you.
Right now he's at J-S-Poo-Gwith two J's J-S-P-U-J-J-I.
On Twitter he goes what does itmean to love God?
I would say, Jesse, thank you.
I've thought about this a lotand I don't know what it means.
Please tell me.
(30:52):
Well, in Sikhism, we believeeverything is one and God is
this formless energy, with nofear and no hate, that permeates
and pervades all things.
So God is your wife, the grass,even the breath you take.
It is life itself, the lifeenergy, the consciousness that
(31:13):
allows each of us to be alive.
So what does it mean to loveGod?
I think it's the same as lovelife.
What would happen if youtreated your spouse, nature,
your breath, like the divine?
This is why gratitude is sopowerful.
Whether you believe it or not,it's energy and attention
towards appreciating life.
(31:34):
So gratitude is the act ofloving God.
On that note, I would like tothank you for being here.
I really appreciate your earsand your loyalty to this podcast
.
I also want to thank thecreators of Twisted Wave, my
audio software that makes makingthis podcast so simple.
(32:00):
I also want to thank Buzzsproutmaking this podcast so simple.
I also want to thank Buzzsprout, where I post this podcast, and
I want to thank just tonighteveryone who has ever made me
laugh, including all the famouscomedians, my friends, family
and the birds, the chickens andhow they just look so stupid
with their heads bobbing up anddown.
(32:20):
I am a huge fan of chickens andducks, how ducks just cruise
around, Especially white ducksJust waddling around.
They are hilarious.
I want to give my thanks tothose and we'll see you next
week.
If you enjoyed this podcast,Found it useful or found it
horrifying or fun, the way youcan support it Is by keeping it
a secret.
Don't say anything, Don't heart.
It can support it is by keepingit a secret.
(32:41):
Don't say anything, don't heartit, don't subscribe, don't
share it with any friends,because then it will never make
money and it will never grow.
A Star is Born twice I saw I hadn't seen it since it
came out.
For those haven't seen it.
Um, that stars Lady Gaga andBradley Cooper.
He wrote and directed it, or hedirected it and as a co-writing
credit and I loved it.
I mean it's just an excellentmovie.
(00:43):
Lady Gaga's wonderful Cooper,again, again, is just kind of
doing the thing.
If you were to pull any actorgrowing up in the 90s what their
dream career would be, they'relying if they didn't say it's
Bradley Cooper's, because theguy, you know he was sort of a
heartthrob guy but then and out.
(01:03):
You know I think he had afailed pilot for fox, called
kitchen confidential I think itwas based on the book and then
he did, uh, wedding crashers andclearly he got to the point
where his intelligence and theseriousness of his pursuit and
his acting abilities werestarting to get known.
(01:23):
And when he did the Jenniferthis is why I need someone when
he did Silver Linings playbook,that's when I go, oh fuck, he's
doing what I want and you thinkhe's just going to be like one
of these actors who's reallygood, he just loves acting.
And then then he busts out Staris Born.
And I was mad when he was inthe Hangover I was like because
(01:45):
we were sort of a similar typewhere I was like I felt like
this is, I'm perfectly capableof being roasted for this, but I
felt like I could have done abetter job in the Hangover,
being sort of funny in that role.
I didn't think Cooper was veryfunny.
I think he's a good actor, butI remember watching the Hangover
and being upset that I couldn'twatch Vince Vaughn in that role
(02:06):
.
Being Vince Vaughn who, just asa sidebar, I think Vince Vaughn
is the genius of our day.
When he's doing his thing, Idon't think there's anyone who
can touch him.
As far as original comedy, I'mmy.
My favorite modern day comicactors are Vince and Ben Stiller
.
They just get me.
They just fucking crush me andbut Vince, when Swingers came
(02:29):
out, there was such a sort ofbuzz among my generation because
it was this low budget moviethat was obviously pulled off.
It was so good and we were incollege about.
You know, in the actor circlesyou were like starting to be
like, okay, what's the next stepfor me?
Am I going to go be an actor?
And then swingers comes out andyou're like, fuck, yeah, I'm
going to be an actor, I'm goingto make swingers.
(02:51):
Um, but Vince Vaughn was, was aforce of nature in swingers.
I mean, no one had ever seenanything like that.
There was no character likethat, the fast talking, just
total original phrasing, greatenergy, lunatic.
There.
I had never seen anything likeit.
It was mesmerizing.
So anyway, we go, and so sortof Bradley Cooper comes along
(03:15):
and you kind of catch sight ofhim in Wedding Crashers and
you're like, yeah, he's prettygood douchebag, but I could be a
better douchebag than him.
And then, and then hangovercomes out and you're like, yeah,
I could have done better thanhim, fuck.
And then silver liningsplaybook comes out and you're
like, fuck man, that movie is sogood and he does a great job.
(03:38):
And you're like I think I couldhave done that.
I think I could have been youknow, amazing script, amazing
director.
Yeah, yeah, I could have donethat.
And then star is born andyou're amazing script, amazing
director, yeah, yeah, I couldhave done that.
And then star is born and you'relike I can't, I couldn't have
done that.
It's written, directed andstarred in kind of playing off
this alcoholic and he's reallyyeah, he's just very good at
being drunk.
You know really hard to do actdrunk.
(04:00):
I remember in acting school noone can pull off, you know
everyone.
It's no one.
You don't.
You never buy it and it may beeasier on film but yeah, just
that there was never.
There wasn't a false note andit probably helps that you know
he's a recovering alcoholic.
Bradley is so you, you know hehad some good sense memory there
.
But yeah, I mean he crushes itand the directing is fantastic
(04:23):
and the I screened it for my 13year old daughter.
I was like, oh shit, she hasn'tseen this she's going to love.
A star is born and sure enoughshe did.
She just did.
She did start drawing andprocreate with the movie in a
little bubble on her ipad duringthe second act and I actually
it's kind of interesting as atest audience because yeah,
there's a little bit of a drag,like when he's at rehab.
(04:44):
She's just like, and then shewas still drawing when he's
about to commit suicide.
Oh, spoiler alert.
But I was like cecilia, stopdrawing, yeah.
And then she's like he's deadand you're like jesus christ, I
think, my kid.
You know it's hard not to havethe standards, uh, to lower your
standards for your kids, like Ithink I was a pretty dumb 13
(05:07):
year old.
You know, like I didn't.
I didn't not that this is dumb,but I didn't know what sushi
was.
I never even heard of it.
I didn't.
I didn't know what sushi wasuntil I went to brown and you
know this is late.
This is 2000 and I didn't knowwhat sushi was and never had it
growing up.
Boston big family, I thinkthere was just so many kids, we
never many kids.
The only place we went out toeat was this place, charlie's or
Seven Star Mandarin.
(05:27):
So we would go to this sort ofpub in the mall named Charlie's
Not there anymore.
We would go to Seven StarMandarin where they would kick
people out when they saw uscoming because we were table for
nine.
My big family, we kick peopleout for you.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
We kick people out for you, oh, mr Walton.
We kick my big family.
We kick people out for you.
We kick people out for you, oh,mr walton.
We kick people out for you.
One minute table ready, extraduck saw I mean that sounds
racist.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
But that's literally what he sounded like, literally
just doing an impersonation, andyou can ask any of my friends.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
That's exactly what it sounded like oh, mr walton,
welcome, welcome, we love you,we kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right, this way it's nine people just fucking
destroying poopoo bladders, ducksauce flying around, my dad
just quiet adding up the bills,just anticipating the shitty
chinese food.
It going to cost them about$380.
So much fucking duck sauce.
You know it's just a mechanismto get more duck sauce in your
(06:31):
system.
Just the blue flames for thepoo-poo platters.
I miss those.
You don't see many of thoseanymore.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
We kick a people out for you.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, I mean it's.
I didn't know sushi Becauseit's like when do you go for
table for nine for sushi?
I mean sushi, when did sushireally start taking off?
Yeah, but that I'm going tohave, I'm going to put an
imaginary co-host here.
I couldn't get in touch withTegan I'm.
When did sushi come big for you?
2005.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
2005, yeah, that's what Ithought.
(07:03):
Yeah, right, when it hit mylips that soy sauce and a nice
little shrimp tempura roll, thatwas my first sushi ever and I
was hooked.
That was my favorite food On adeserted island.
For lunch, I'm having sushi andfor dinner you know what I'm
having.
I'm having probably Indian food, maybe not Cheeseburgers,
(07:23):
probably cheeseburgers.
I get sick of that after awhile.
Feels starts to feel heavy.
Yeah, probably stick withjapanese food.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah we kick people out for you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I do, uh, I do love an asian accent.
I mean that sounds super.
I just sort of like a badneither chinese or japanese
Japanese.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
What's up, bro?
How you doing, man.
Hey, what's your favoriteyou're on?
If you're on a deserted island,what food would you want?
What's up, man?
How you doing, brother.
What food would you like on theisland?
What food?
What food would you like on theisland?
Oh, what food would you like onisland?
Oh, what food would you like onisland?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I'm not your babysitter 18.
What's your favorite number?
That's the only thing I can saywith an Aussie accent.
Hey, what's your favoritenumber?
18.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
What other accents?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
are there?
Yeah, was he a funny lookingfella?
Uh-huh, sure, yeah, you got it.
Uh, oh yeah, we've been playingpond hockey for some time now.
We usually have a couple coldones and then play a little bit
on the pond and then, oh, theother day, my buddy bobby uh,
caught a puck right under hisvisor.
He's got a shiner there.
Yeah, cut him up real bad heyman, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
what's your name?
Boy boy, how you doing, boy,hey boy, if you can't listen,
you can feel it's a nice abusivesouthern man.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Now what else can I do?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
yeah, that's, that's gut.
Would you like me to shit onyour chest?
Would you like to?
Would you like?
Would you?
What is your name?
And would you like me to shiton your chest?
Sprechen Sie an der Chest,would you like me?
Would you like me to sh tospreche an der Chest Und spreche
(09:23):
Und feces Und love the fecesand give me feces or give me
that.
Viva la Mexico the machine isthe la moira.
What's your name, daddy?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
is he rich?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
is he rich like me?
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What do you think I should do?
Where do you want this podcastto go?
I'm looking for listenerfeedback.
Finally, I gotta send out asurvey, or do I just do
something that I enjoy?
You know what would I enjoy?
I feel this resistance totalking to people.
I want it to all be about me.
You know, let's look at an oldjournal.
(10:24):
Oh wow, this is my oldcharacter stuff.
I'm so disappointed.
I think I know what's weirdlyhappened.
I just want to talk a littlebit.
Who's that?
My daughter interrupted.
We're filling out applicationswhere she's considering going to
(10:45):
boarding school like her oldman, and so we're going to go
this fall.
And we're filling outapplications where she's
considering going to boardingschool like her old man, and so
we're going to go this fall andwe're going to look at places
and she's going to fill outapplications and stuff.
And because of the nature ofpublic school education in Maine
, I'm actually really, whethershe goes to boarding school or
not, I'm really excited aboutthe process because it's just
hard and she's going to have toreally reflect, figure out who
(11:07):
she is, what she really likes.
She's going to have to douncomfortable things like go to
interviews.
She's going to experience newplaces.
She's going to imagine herselfand she's going to learn things
about herself and she may learnthat she doesn't want to go, but
she's going to have to studyand take the SSAT she's going to
.
You know, if she gets a shittyscore, she's just going to have
(11:27):
to eat it Like, oh shit, I justI suck at standardized tests.
There's so much almost coddlingnowadays.
You know grade inflation, etcetera.
I just want my kids to get justas cold water in the face.
You know, just be like on paperyou are 100% mediocre, maybe
(11:50):
even below that, I don't, andmaybe not, maybe she'll, maybe
she'll crush the SSATs.
I don't know she's.
She is pretty book smart,street smart, really dumb, but
book smart you.
You know she's doing well inschool, but some of the shit she
says I I can't even say it outhere.
(12:10):
I I won't, I won't say it, butjust yeah, just no understanding
of the world.
You know both my kids.
It's sort of like maine is thisincredible place because there's
a there's sort of a simple,pure life here, but then again,
with all this online stuff andwhat's available to kids, now
there's sort of this monoculturefor middle school kids or any
(12:33):
age kids, like everyone'swatching the same psychotic
youtube videos, the samealgorithmic brain melt.
You know they all now know howto do makeup and how to look
good in the fashion styles.
It's like it used to be.
You could go to like NewHampshire in the nineties and
just see teased out bangs andjust like a completely different
(12:56):
operation.
And now it seems like everybodyjust knows they can still
choose a group, you can stillhave goth and you can still have
not giving a fuck kids.
There's just so much more ofthe knowledge of fashion and the
sharing that it seems almostmore of a monoculture now than
it ever was.
(13:17):
Like you talk to a nail personwho's been doing nails for 30
years and have them tell you howmany more you know.
Fifth, sixth, seventh gradegirls are getting regular
manicures in blue-collar towns.
Like what?
When did this happen?
Am I just an idiot, dad?
(13:38):
This is nuts.
And don't even get me startedon the skincare industrial
complex.
I mean, is anyone going to saysomething that if you just
lollied up a $4 jar of coconutoil on your face every day,
instead of the thousands ofdollars over the course of a
(13:58):
given year or two, that yourskin would look exactly the same
, maybe even better justlollying up some coconut oil
three dollars on the on theaisle at trader trader yos,
trader mings I love how traderjoe's will will change the
second name for whatever cuisineit is.
(14:19):
I love that.
I should probably do some thingsabout Trader Joe's.
I haven't been there in a while.
I used to love it.
But I will say the checkoutpeople at Trader Joe's are
annoying.
I mean, they're just so cheeryand they're just.
It feels like you're in a cultor something.
There's something off there,like way too positive, way too
enthusiastic about what I'mbuying.
(14:39):
Anyway, take a couple aspirin.
I should give you an update.
I should give an update on mytestosterone and Wolverine stack
.
I'm injecting myself nightly thelast three weeks or so,
definitely feeling a difference.
(14:59):
There's a bit, there's moreenergy.
I'm noticing do you ever get?
You know, when you're hungoverand you haven't slept much and
you give so many less fucksabout what you put in your body
and you're just kind of thiscraving machine where you're
almost considering having a beerat 8 in the morning or you just
want to keep it going.
(15:20):
There's sort of a craving formore.
That's what I'm noticing on thetea.
I'm just craving things.
I am starting to get a littlebit healthier.
We're getting back in gear,which is my normal rhythm of
fall.
I sort of find a new dietaryphilosophy and I just go all in
on it Done carnivore, vegan,rapy I did the all sugar.
(15:41):
As you know, that's nottechnically what it is, but I'm
circling a couple ideas rightnow.
You drink your own urine andwhat you eat is based on your
own feces.
So you take pictures of yourfeces and then you upload it and
then this app will tell youwhat to eat is based on your own
feces.
So you take pictures of yourfeces and then you upload it and
then this app will tell youwhat to eat next.
(16:02):
That is all false.
I'm just riffing here.
I got you, did I get you?
No, I'm not drinking my ownurine, but you know whole foods
and not stressing too much.
But it's time to get my ass ingear.
I will say, because of my elbowinjury and because of my foot, I
(16:22):
have not been lifting weightsand so whatever pectoral gains I
had, you know where you hadsome pecs going and I was
starting to bench more than Iever had in my life.
You know, getting up into the195 five times kind of range,
which is a lot and probablycontributed to my elbow Getting
up into the 195 five times kindof range, which is a lot and
(16:43):
probably contributed to my elbow.
But I did notice about a weekor two into my tea that my pecs
were starting to really turninto titties and like B cup
titties, to the point where myson goes, dad, you have boobs.
And I was like, haha, you're afunny boy, get out of this bed,
you're not welcome here everagain.
But no, I said, yeah, no, I do.
And then I was like, no, no,whoa, I do.
(17:05):
And then I looked it up and itturns out that because you're
jacking yourself full ofhormones and these are moderate
amounts, 100 milligrams a week,250 milligram doses, just sort
of a slow buildup of tea, oftestosterone replacement therapy
, I looked it up and sure enoughyour body kind of is like I
(17:28):
don't know what this tea is,maybe I should make more
estrogen and then you can growtitties, and I don't like that.
If a close Howard Stern fanwould know what I was saying
there I was imitating.
I don't like that.
A close Howard Stern fan wouldknow what I was saying there I
was imitating.
I don't like titties, and sowhat I ended up doing was
starting to take this stuffcalled DIM, which is cruciferous
(17:48):
vegetables.
This is like a pill form whereit's basically the equivalent of
eating like 40 pounds ofcruciferous vegetables, because
that can ease your estrogen.
And I do have a bunch of othermechanisms for easing off the
estrogen.
White button mushrooms,evidently, are helpful for that.
Carrot salad with coconut oiland salt can also have some
(18:10):
anti-estrogenic effects.
This is not a dietary podcast,but it's certainly turning into
one, and I thank you for beinghere Now.
So the titties are there.
The titties are real, I'm notgoing to lie.
So it's time to get back in thegym and to try to.
You know, at least if you'regoing to have fat titties, you
(18:31):
better have muscle too.
And you know those guys who'vegot big pecs but they've got a
lot of fat around them, and Imay just have to be that guy.
You know what I mean.
I may, just that's going to bewho I am, so that's good.
The other thing is I'minjecting myself every night
with the Wolverine peptide stack, which is a sort of gray area.
You get it from a compoundingpharmacy in Florida.
(18:53):
Need I say anymore?
And this stuff a couple weeksin and not noticing much except
kind of a persistent headache,which could be the tea as well.
But I got to get.
I got to find out what that is.
Evidently, some of thesepeptides create new blood
vessels and stuff.
They help just heal by gettingmore blood flow going everywhere
(19:16):
, and so maybe that's, I'mgetting more blood vessels, so
I'm getting more pressure in myhead.
Anyway, this is all to say.
The testosterone there's lessenergy dipping.
It's not some magical elixirwhere I feel like a new person,
but yeah, there's definitely asense of I'm actually calmer,
(19:37):
I'm able to handle stressfulsituations better, and so I'm
into it.
We'll see how it goes.
But yeah, I just wanted to giveyou the update that we're and
TRT, I would say four to eightweeks in is when you really
start to evidently feel theeffects.
So we'll keep our eye on that.
Anyway, but what I really wantedto talk about is this idea of
(19:58):
not giving fucks, and in a weirdway, for my whole life I've
given very many fucks about whatpeople think of me, and that
can be helpful because you're intune, I'm generally a people
pleaser.
I like to make people happy.
I don't like bad energy beingthrown in my way.
I don't like it when peoplehate me, so that's why I'm like
(20:22):
kind of mesmerized by someonelike Donald Trump, who can just
like sit in the pocket and beloathed by millions of people
and just not give a fuck.
There's something there.
He's obviously getting adoredby many people, but I think we
can all agree that people whoseem to just spit it out and not
(20:42):
care about the vitriol that'sbeing thrown their way is a
pretty mesmerizing thing towatch and there's probably some
envy there, because we all ormost people, I know just want
more of giving less fucks.
We feel like it's getting inthe way of either pursuing a
dream because we don't want tobe ridiculed or we won't be
deemed as bad, or feelingimportant.
(21:03):
Of course, a lot of resistance.
When I was doing this podcastinitially, I just opened my
journal and it's like I'm justwigging out about how to launch
this thing just profoundresistance, and you can see it
in these first episodes like I'mjust like ah.
And then you do it and yourealize like jesus man, you were
overthinking this thing.
(21:24):
First of all, no one gives afuck.
And second, uh it, whatever youdo, it's not going to be what
you thought it was going to be.
I mean, look look at this, thiswhole episode, what the hell am
I even doing?
This isn't about stand-up rightnow, but in a weird way it is
because, like I said when I,when I speak this way to you and
(21:45):
I feel like we've created thisrelationship uh, things come out
that wouldn't normally come outand play conversation or even
with anyone I know.
So you're like, you're like mysecret friend that I can talk
about things with, and thatopens up the gateways for areas
for the stand-up stage.
So, anyway, the thing I againwant to talk about is this thing
(22:06):
of not giving any fucks, and Ican feel it.
I can feel myself giving lessfucks about what people think.
I think this podcast helpsbecause you realize you don't
really care anymore.
You care less.
You've said all this stuff thatyou think gives you a tickle of
like I don't know if I shouldhave said that and then you're
(22:26):
met with just a deafeningsilence, and so you're like well
, obviously I'm just talking tomyself in my office, like no one
cares.
So there's almost a momentum,like a snowball rolling down a
mountain, where you start sayingwhat's on your mind a little
bit more.
No one cares, and then soyou're like, oh, I guess I don't
(22:46):
care as much about what peoplethink, and then, but that can
lead and basically it'sdangerous is what I'm trying to
say.
It's being, I feel, I feel likeI'm in a dangerous place where
it's bleeding into just notcaring about looks or
presentation.
I mean I just went to a school,6th grade open house, and I
(23:07):
think I looked homeless.
I mean my hair was a completedisaster Overly tight tee with
my titties, like I should haveworn a bra.
Tight tee with my titties, likeI should have worn a bra.
I think my midriff, my, my, myspare tire was hanging out and I
was wearing a work jacket.
That that was a wrap gift frompower.
(23:27):
Ghost star.
Show that no one in scarboroughis no one has seen, but it kind
of looked like.
I just looked like a weirdtennis player who's like also a
tree trimmer or like a forester,and then I'm wearing these
absurd you know the shoes, andmy friend Max had pitched this
as a stand-up bit.
(23:47):
But just like the fact thatit's now becoming the norm for
everyone to look like they'rethe pimp, and I'm going to get
you sucka With the size of thefucking soles on these running
shoes like the hokas, and I gota pair of these for my plantar
fasciitis and it's making melike six, seven.
I'm so tall now I'm justtowering over people and I'm not
(24:09):
a, you know, I'm not like Shaq,so I look like I don't think
it's a good look.
And again, don't give a fuck.
And so I guess you know there'sthat famous book, the subtle
art of not giving a fuck, byMark Manson, which is a great
book, and I would add, thefollow-up is like the subtle art
of not giving a fuck can leadto the subtle, subtle art of
(24:33):
torpedoing your entire lifebecause you don't give a fuck.
And so the the darkness startsto creep out.
The bad wolf no, I don't thinkany of this makes sense that's
what I thought.
Sorry, sorry about that.
Anyway, maybe giving fucks isimportant.
(24:55):
I mean, really, what it is iswe're trying to give fucks for
the thing, the right things.
You want to give a fuck Aboutyour kids.
You want to give a fuck aboutyour friends and your family.
You want to give a fuck aboutyour community and you want to
give a fuck about your countryand the planet.
What you don't want to give afuck about is what people are
judging you for, what people arecriticizing you for.
(25:18):
Well, even that, you want totake the criticism, you want to
know what's going on, but youdon't want to give a fuck of
basically what people think ofyou.
And that's really my point is,now that I'm giving less fucks
about what people think of me,I'm becoming a disgusting slob,
titty fat.
Disgusting slob who's justgoing to have raging tea and
(25:39):
like you know what if all of asudden smash cut in a year?
I'm just like beating off in amovie theater parking lot for
like a matinee showing of, likea cartoon.
I'm just off the rails.
There's so much tea that I haveto beat off five, six times a
day just to maintain any kind ofsanity.
(26:00):
We'll keep you guys up to date.
Make sure we stay on top ofthat.
You guys want to see some of myjournal notes Just give you an
idea.
So we're like 48 episodes in andthis was my steps to do this.
Stand up.
Step one create trailer.
(26:22):
What is the show?
Work on it, spend one weekwriting, rewriting, then record
and get it right, and I rememberdoing this.
I labored so much over thetrailer of this how to make it
short or how to make it succinct.
I got to re-record it becausethe trailer should be what it
actually is.
I think I need to re-record itbecause the trailer should be
what it actually is.
I think I need to re-record thefirst episode.
The Start here episode, which isInsider Trading, is the number
(26:45):
one most listened to episode.
People still so people willdiscover the show and most
people when they start a podcastare like I don't know what I've
missed.
I don't want to.
There's a resistance to comingin in the middle of something.
There's an episode called starthere and they'll play it, and
so that's the one that getsplayed consistently and the the
whole episode, I think, is medoing a voice with a with the
(27:08):
box cart box car child and thentalking about a kind of a
rambling story about me wantingto me hiding the clown to get
laid, and while that was true atthe time and I felt like I was
really speaking my truth, if I'mbeing honest, that's my.
That's not the truth anymore.
I'm not I'm not really being aclown, I'm not being I'm not
(27:30):
being clowny.
Maybe it was that.
I just wanted to figure out you.
You just want to figure out whoyou are, who you are really,
and have the freedom to have anart form where you can just
speak and you don't have toworry about anyone else and
speak whatever truth you are.
In that moment, those truthschange and the truth now is fuck
(27:51):
, I got no idea what's coming.
This box of chocolates, lifeman, very, very exciting, scary.
I'm going to end with somethinga little different.
I found this on Twitter, nowknown as X.
It was retweeted by Joe Hudson,who's Sam Altman, the founder
(28:14):
of OpenAI, so very famousbillionaire.
It's his executive coach, joeHudson.
I did a course with him thatwas all about kind of emotional
intelligence.
It's called Art ofAccomplishment.
It was Joe Hudson's kind ofprinciples of how to be a leader
and how to function in theworld and how to lead with love
was essentially what you findout that Joe's all about in
(28:38):
every setting, so in workenvironments, etc.
And joe retweeted this and it'sa.
It's based on this idea of like,loving god, right.
So I I always have hated theword god.
I hate it less.
Now I don't hate it.
I'm meaning I felt awkwardsaying it because I'm not a
never been a believer in like awhite bearded guy in the sky.
(29:04):
God always has felt like.
You know this profound mystery.
We all talk about it.
We all make fun of footballplayers when they like recover a
fumble and they're like I justwant to thank Jesus for you know
, giving, helping me recoverthat football.
And you're like you think Jesusgives a fuck about you and your
football dude.
And you know, we've all beenthere, made fun of those
(29:27):
speeches probably, but in aweird way, as I get older, I'm
starting to understand them more, not just more like I
completely understand what thesepeople are coming from.
Now you know there's people whoJesus is God and I get it.
That's not my bag.
However, I think Jesus was anincredibly lit man with an
amazing message and most likelyhas been wildly misinterpreted.
(29:49):
If you're a fucking asshole whois intolerant.
If you have any intolerance,even the slightest vibration of
intolerance, for other religionsor other humans, race, creed,
anything, anything, then you'refucking it up.
But anyway, I'm gonna endstarting stand up with a new
this thing that I think willhelp.
(30:10):
It really answered the questionthat I've very, very I've
pondered for an incredibly longtime is if the purpose of life
is to find and love god,whatever that may may be,
whatever you define it as, howdo you do?
that.
How do you do that if you don'teven know what God is?
And this is what this man,Jesse Poojee, on X, shared and
(30:32):
I'll share it with you.
Right now he's at J-S-Poo-Gwith two J's J-S-P-U-J-J-I.
On Twitter he goes what does itmean to love God?
I would say, Jesse, thank you.
I've thought about this a lotand I don't know what it means.
Please tell me.
(30:52):
Well, in Sikhism, we believeeverything is one and God is
this formless energy, with nofear and no hate, that permeates
and pervades all things.
So God is your wife, the grass,even the breath you take.
It is life itself, the lifeenergy, the consciousness that
(31:13):
allows each of us to be alive.
So what does it mean to loveGod?
I think it's the same as lovelife.
What would happen if youtreated your spouse, nature,
your breath, like the divine?
This is why gratitude is sopowerful.
Whether you believe it or not,it's energy and attention
towards appreciating life.
(31:34):
So gratitude is the act ofloving God.
On that note, I would like tothank you for being here.
I really appreciate your earsand your loyalty to this podcast
.
I also want to thank thecreators of Twisted Wave, my
audio software that makes makingthis podcast so simple.
(32:00):
I also want to thank Buzzsproutmaking this podcast so simple.
I also want to thank Buzzsprout, where I post this podcast, and
I want to thank just tonighteveryone who has ever made me
laugh, including all the famouscomedians, my friends, family
and the birds, the chickens andhow they just look so stupid
with their heads bobbing up anddown.
(32:20):
I am a huge fan of chickens andducks, how ducks just cruise
around, Especially white ducksJust waddling around.
They are hilarious.
I want to give my thanks tothose and we'll see you next
week.
If you enjoyed this podcast,Found it useful or found it
horrifying or fun, the way youcan support it Is by keeping it
a secret.
Don't say anything, Don't heart.
It can support it is by keepingit a secret.
(32:41):
Don't say anything, don't heartit, don't subscribe, don't
share it with any friends,because then it will never make
money and it will never grow.
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