June 30, 2025 • 16 mins
Summer brings changes to the podcast schedule with mini-episodes replacing the weekly Sunday format, allowing for more flexible content delivery throughout the week.
• First-ever family cruise vacation with husband, three children, stepchildren and their families
• Reality of family vacation differed dramatically from expectations of being "fun mom" without responsibilities
• Breaking routine proved challenging—no morning meditation, limited personal time, confined spaces, restricted internet access
• Emotional breakdown on day two after children complained despite all the preparation work
• First excursion disappointments including misleading descriptions and limited food options
• Cocoa Beach Club excursion marked a turning point in enjoyment
• Unexpected realization that coming home was more meaningful than the vacation itself
• Profound gratitude for home, family, stable job, and the life built with her husband
• Meditation recommended as a path to recognizing and appreciating your current life
I encourage everyone to start meditating—it's truly life-changing. If you're new to meditation, check out Kathy Heller's guided meditations at kathyheller.com, where I started my journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everybody.
This is Steel Rose's podcast.
This podcast was created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I had a bit of a break, as youall know, in between my episodes
.
Normally new episodes dropevery single Sunday, but now
there's going to be a bit of ashift, so I want to give you an
update there first.
There first.
(00:27):
We are now in our summer series.
So in the summer series,instead of one long episode
every Sunday, you'll get liketwo or three short mini-sodes
from me throughout the week andprobably on the weekends too.
It's really going to bedependent on, like, when I'm
able to do it.
You know my flow is always doit messy, do what's right for
you.
So that's going to be a littlebit of a change in schedule.
However, I think it's going tobe good.
I'm honestly looking forward toit.
So that's number one.
(00:48):
Number two there was a bet inmy episodes airing.
So I was away on vacation and Iwas going to try and record an
episode before I left so that Icould have something airing
while I was gone, and I it justdidn't work out that way and you
(01:09):
know when you're preparing.
So this is the first time I waspreparing for a full family
vacation with my husband and mykids.
We haven't gone on a vacationtogether ever.
As you all know, I have threekids very close in age.
They were born in 2016 and thenthe twins in 2017.
And it's been nothing butmayhem and madness, which now
we're so used to it.
It feels odd when there isn'tmayhem and madness, but in any
case, you know, preparing to goaway for a trip of the caliber
(01:29):
that we did took a lot of doingand a lot of preparation on my
part, so I had to give myselfsome grace, and there were some
things that I wasn't able to getto before we left.
Those things was the podcast,so now I just want to give
everyone an update there Now.
So now, I just wanted to giveeveryone an update there.
(01:50):
Now, the big thing that I dowant to talk about here is.
The big thing that I want totalk about here is what I did
for vacation.
We decided we meaning myself,my stepkids, my whole family we
all decided that we were goingto do a cruise this year.
We've never all gone awaytogether before, and so this was
really exciting year.
We've never all gone awaytogether before, and so this was
really exciting.
And then part of it on thelogic behind going away was for
my husband's 50th birthday.
(02:10):
So it was like a twofold kindof thing.
Again, we're all super excitedabout it.
Now, complications we all haveyoung kids.
My stepdaughter has two youngboys.
We have ours, we have the twinswho for eight, and the son from
his nine.
So I was expecting somechallenges, but there was some
rosy part of me which is neverthe case, by the way, because
(02:33):
you know I'm not, I'm more of arealist but there was a rosy
part of me that really thoughtthat somehow, miraculously,
while away, no one wouldcomplain.
I'll give you a minute to laughat me.
I've sincerely thought we'regoing to be on this amazing
vacation.
No one's going to complain,everyone's going to be so
excited, in such a good moodthat I'm going to be able to
(02:57):
just be fun, mom.
The entire time.
And I kept saying that I can'twait to be fun, mommy, I can't
wait to not have to beresponsible, I can't wait.
And then we got on the cruiseand it turns out that, yes, we
were in a different location.
However, my responsibilitieswere still intact.
(03:17):
My husband and my kids all keptlooking to me to say is next,
what do we do?
Where do we go for these things?
What's for food?
Where is the food?
And it got so stressful thefirst and second day because I
didn't know either and I wasalso learning where was
everything and what we weresupposed to be doing.
A few moments of tension forlack of better word during the
(03:39):
trip.
That, you know, kind of is whatit was, what it was like.
You know, there was nothing Ican do about it.
The part that really threw meoff more was I guess I was
expecting the kids to just behappy the whole time.
And then the reality of itreally was and you know I'm
going to keep it real with you,I'm not going to give you the
rosy glow pictures the realityof it was was that we were way
(04:02):
out of their routine and theircomfort level.
We're very regimented here atour house because you know we
have kids and we need to makesure that they stay on track.
We need to make sure that we dothings in a pretty particular
schedule.
So now we're in a differentplace.
I wasn't getting my morningmeditation and I normally have
an hour to myself in the morningfor coffee and, you know, just
(04:22):
waking up and getting myselftogether, that wasn't happening
at all.
My husband usually gets to stepout to go to the gym.
You know, like there werecertain things that just weren't
.
One of the bigger things, toothat we also didn't have access
to was internet.
So we did have an internetpackage, but we only had one.
So we were all kind of kickingit around between us.
But again, before we left I waslike why do we need internet?
(04:43):
I'm not going to waste money ona package for that.
We're on vacation.
I don't want anyone on a devicethat meant I had to engage the
whole time, which I also am notused to, and I'm going to be the
first one to raise my hand here.
I know what some people will sayand the judgment is very real
for moms like myself that do usetechnology with their kids.
But I do.
I need a minute, I need toclean, I need to cook.
(05:06):
I'm not going to be like amonkey dancing for my children.
And before any of the naysayerskind of come in here with a
judgment, I just want to pointout that like, yes, they can
play on their own, and they do.
They have games, they have allkinds of things.
They play, pretend, my kids doall kinds of stuff, but, yes,
when they're settling down andresting and what have you, they
(05:29):
will use their device to relaxand just hang out.
We didn't have that on this trip.
We also, because it was acruise, which I don't think I
mentioned, but because it was acruise, the rooms were really
small so you really couldn'thang out in the room.
You had to leave the room,which I was expecting.
(05:50):
But again, I wasn't expectingthe fallout.
So I was a little surprised andit was, and it was honestly
kind of devastating, becausemaybe devastating is too strong
of a word, but it feltdevastating in the moment
because I had worked so hard forthis moment to pull the details
together, to make sure I hadeverything set up, to make sure
everyone's bags were were packed, to make sure that, you know,
we got there on time, to makesure I understood and knew all
the details as much as I could.
So then to have everyone turnaround and just be totally out
(06:13):
of their heads the first twodays because nobody knew what to
do, what to eat, where to go,was really I, it was.
It was hard for me, in theeffort of transparency which I'd
like to give you all the time.
I broke down on day two andstarted crying and I said to my
kids my husband was at the gymbecause you know we had started
(06:34):
to work out a schedule where hewould get to have some time to
himself in the morning to gowork out with the other guys
that were in our group.
Um, and I just kind of snapped,and not like screaming snapped,
I just started crying.
I went into the bathroom andjust let it loose because the
buildup to that moment was sostressful.
And then to have my kidscomplaining about the food
(06:55):
because it clearly wasn't pizza,bagels and chicken nuggets was
just so deflating and so hard.
Even thinking about it now.
I was really struggling.
So I just started crying and Ilet them see it and they were
like what's wrong?
What happened?
And I told them I'm like look,exactly what I just said to you
guys.
I'm like I worked really hardfor us to be here To have you
(07:18):
guys complaining and fightingand being rude is hurtful.
And I explained it to them andthey kind of got it.
They're kids, you know, theyare who they are.
But thankfully, when we got toexcursion number two, which was,
I think, on the fourth day.
It was such a beautiful momentthat it made up for more than
made up for the three days priorthat were really really tough
(07:42):
and really hard for us to adjustto.
And then after that, everyonestill was who they were and you
know kids are going to fightwith each other and they're
going to complain.
But we started to find our paceand find a rhythm and it
started to settle things down.
Now, a couple of things I didwant to say, just note.
We went on a Royal Caribbeancruise down to the Bahamas
Gorgeous, something I wanted tonote.
(08:03):
Complaint number one Firstexcursion that we went out on.
The description was, I mean,over the top, as you can imagine
, and it was very much like oh,you know, you're going to be
taken on a boat through likehistoric, you know, bahamas, and
then you get to the Blue LagoonIsland and you'll have a
bohemian lunch and you know it'ssupposed to be this like big,
(08:24):
beautiful package.
So we all go on this excursionand it was incredibly stressful
getting off the boat,disembarking, and then we were
waiting in line for about 45minutes in the hot, blazing sun.
I thought everyone was going tostart passing out.
We finally get onto this boat.
We're all in this little boatthing together, which was fine,
(08:44):
we knew that was coming.
We get off the boat, get to thelagoon and you know immediately
I'm like this is great, this isit, this is gorgeous.
But I looked at my watch andthey said we need to be back to
the boat by six.
Well, it was three o'clock whenwe got there, so that meant,
instead of getting five hours,which is what I thought we were
going to have, we were onlygetting three.
So I'm like all right, I'llswallow it, it's fine, we'll go.
(09:07):
So we're there, we're having agood time.
And then I'm like, you know, wewere there for about two hours
or so and lunch was supposed tobe included in the package.
So we go to have the lunch andI think I've mentioned it a
bunch of times, but I'm avegetarian, so I'm like a
bohemian inspired lunch, likethere's going to be something
vegetarian friendly there.
First of all, it wasn't abohemian lunch unless bohemians
(09:31):
eat hamburgers and hot dogs,which I sincerely doubt but that
was the menu.
It was hamburgers and hot dogsand and oh excuse me and chicken
, barbecue chicken, like this.
This was the lunch.
I'm like this is the mostAmerican lunch I've ever seen in
my life.
And then at the far, far sideof the lunch because at first I
didn't see it vegetarian patties.
Like that's what it was, thesecold vegetarian patties.
(09:52):
So again, let's make the mostof this.
Everyone just ate what we could, because nobody wanted to have
a migraine.
Everyone was just like we'rejust going to eat this even
though it's horrible.
My sandwich was terrible, itwas cold and just you know.
And then we had to head back tothe boat.
So, all in all, first excursionwas kind of a bleh experience.
It was gorgeous, the water wasbeautiful, but, again, not ideal
(10:13):
.
Excursion number two, as Imentioned, made up for
everything else Because it wasdepart at your leisure.
There was much more space.
We purchased the Cocoa BeachClub package.
If you ever go on a RoyalCaribbean cruise to the Bahamas,
the Cocoa Beach Club package.
If you don't get any otherexcursion, do that one.
It was the most amazingexperience For the first day
(10:34):
that we were in the Bahamas.
I do regret that we even went onan excursion at all, but they
don't tell you that there's allthese free things you can do as
soon as you get off the boat,like walk through the shop area
and you can get, you know,souvenirs and you can kind of
just explore on your own.
They don't really, they don'tadvertise that.
So that was kind of afrustration point for me too,
cause I'm like I felt like wecould have had a better time.
(10:55):
But you know, it is what it is.
But, as I said, like afterexcursion number two, things
kind of turned around and wemade more use of the onboard
kids club than we had the firstcouple of days and it just
really made things a lot easier.
So, all in all, overallincredibly grateful.
I was even able to go on avacation and at the end everyone
was happy and like excited togo on another one, and I said,
(11:17):
well, not for several years,right, because Lord knows how
the economy is right now.
A surprising thing that I wantedto share with all of you after
the vacation was the outcome.
Now I sincerely thought thatbeing on this vacation somehow
was going to trigger moregratefulness on my part and I'm
(11:37):
trying to articulate this as I'mrolling it in my head, so just
bear with me if it doesn't makesense right away but I thought
being on that vacation was goingto be the moment that this big
moment of gratefulness from meto the universe because I
finally on a dream vacation withmy entire family my husband, my
kids, my stepkids, my grandkids, my stepdaughter's fiance like
(11:57):
this was my dream for years.
To be able to do something likethis with my family, to be able
to afford something like thatis a massive privilege, and I
don't think people realize howbig of a privilege it is to be
able to do this kind of stuff,and so I was incredibly grateful
to be able to even providesomething like this.
So there's that, you know.
But again, I thought somehowthere would be this moment, this
(12:19):
aha moment of oh, this is themoment, this is the gorgeous
moment that you were waiting for.
But that's not when it happened.
Oddly enough, the trip itselfmade me more and more grateful
than I ever have been in myentire life for my home and my
family and what we have builthere.
Going away was a dream.
(12:39):
Coming home was a dream come tolife.
The night after we came home,my husband and I sat outside in
our yard.
We're, you know, overlookingour backyard, and we're in New
Jersey.
So you know, it's not that it'snot.
You know, it's not vast becausewe're on the Jersey shore.
It's not like this vast rollingacres, but it's big enough and
(13:02):
we're sitting there and we'resitting on one of the loungers
and just quiet.
And I just looked over at himand it's one of those moments
that's a subtle light, privilegeand honor, in my opinion, to
have this beautiful, stable,calm place of peace that I'm
building with somebody who Idreamed of building this with,
(13:26):
and I'm talking about my husband.
I dreamed of building this lifewith him and now I'm living
that dream and the waves ofemotion that have been like I've
been experiencing are just allconsuming.
I cannot even express to youhow honored and grateful I am to
be able to sit here and tellyou this, to you, and to be
(13:48):
living this and to be able tohave this podcast, communicate
and connect with all of you andI'm having like a.
It's like the craziest,craziest epiphany and I almost
had to leave it to know howdeeply important this all was or
all is to me and it's like Iwas grateful before.
I mean, you all have heard mesay it, but something about this
(14:08):
has totally shifted my fullperspective and I can't even
begin to tell you how honored Iam and honored I'm not even sure
is the right word, but I am.
It's a tremendous, tremendousthing.
And even you know somethingelse I've even been very
grateful for, as I've been offof work for about a week and a
half.
I still have two days left ofmy vacation time.
(14:30):
The peace of mind I have, evenfor my job, is a dream come true
.
You know, sometimes in myindustry when you leave for
vacation, people throw you underthe bus really hard while
you're gone and it's like toxic.
And you come back and you don'teven know if you're gonna have
a job.
You know people are gonna betalking trash about you.
(14:51):
Like it's just uncomfortable.
And to know that I work withsuch an amazing group of people
that all I'm thinking about isthat I'm excited to see
everybody on Wednesday.
Like that I've missed everyone.
I want to see what's going onand how can I help.
Like it's it's out of thisworld.
It really is.
So I put it to all of you Thankyou so much for being here with
me on this journey.
I encourage everybody as you'reunfolding things, as you're
(15:16):
finding time in your day, startmeditating, please.
I'm begging you to start,because if you don't, it will
continue on as you are.
Kathy Heller has an amazingmonthly meditation.
If you don't know what the hellyou're doing, go to
kathyhellercom Check out herguided meditations.
That's where I started and I'mtelling you.
It is life changing.
(15:36):
You will get your dream life.
You just have to start doingthis.
So I thank you all for beinghere with me.
I'm excited for the summerseries.
I love doing these littlethought starters and things with
all of you, so I'm reallylooking forward to that and
let's see where this journeytakes us.
I hope you enjoyed this episode, even though I rambled a bit,
(15:59):
and I will catch you on the nextone, take care.
Hello everybody.
This is Steel Rose's podcast.
This podcast was created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I had a bit of a break, as youall know, in between my episodes
.
Normally new episodes dropevery single Sunday, but now
there's going to be a bit of ashift, so I want to give you an
update there first.
There first.
(00:27):
We are now in our summer series.
So in the summer series,instead of one long episode
every Sunday, you'll get liketwo or three short mini-sodes
from me throughout the week andprobably on the weekends too.
It's really going to bedependent on, like, when I'm
able to do it.
You know my flow is always doit messy, do what's right for
you.
So that's going to be a littlebit of a change in schedule.
However, I think it's going tobe good.
I'm honestly looking forward toit.
So that's number one.
(00:48):
Number two there was a bet inmy episodes airing.
So I was away on vacation and Iwas going to try and record an
episode before I left so that Icould have something airing
while I was gone, and I it justdidn't work out that way and you
(01:09):
know when you're preparing.
So this is the first time I waspreparing for a full family
vacation with my husband and mykids.
We haven't gone on a vacationtogether ever.
As you all know, I have threekids very close in age.
They were born in 2016 and thenthe twins in 2017.
And it's been nothing butmayhem and madness, which now
we're so used to it.
It feels odd when there isn'tmayhem and madness, but in any
case, you know, preparing to goaway for a trip of the caliber
(01:29):
that we did took a lot of doingand a lot of preparation on my
part, so I had to give myselfsome grace, and there were some
things that I wasn't able to getto before we left.
Those things was the podcast,so now I just want to give
everyone an update there Now.
So now, I just wanted to giveeveryone an update there.
(01:50):
Now, the big thing that I dowant to talk about here is.
The big thing that I want totalk about here is what I did
for vacation.
We decided we meaning myself,my stepkids, my whole family we
all decided that we were goingto do a cruise this year.
We've never all gone awaytogether before, and so this was
really exciting year.
We've never all gone awaytogether before, and so this was
really exciting.
And then part of it on thelogic behind going away was for
my husband's 50th birthday.
(02:10):
So it was like a twofold kindof thing.
Again, we're all super excitedabout it.
Now, complications we all haveyoung kids.
My stepdaughter has two youngboys.
We have ours, we have the twinswho for eight, and the son from
his nine.
So I was expecting somechallenges, but there was some
rosy part of me which is neverthe case, by the way, because
(02:33):
you know I'm not, I'm more of arealist but there was a rosy
part of me that really thoughtthat somehow, miraculously,
while away, no one wouldcomplain.
I'll give you a minute to laughat me.
I've sincerely thought we'regoing to be on this amazing
vacation.
No one's going to complain,everyone's going to be so
excited, in such a good moodthat I'm going to be able to
(02:57):
just be fun, mom.
The entire time.
And I kept saying that I can'twait to be fun, mommy, I can't
wait to not have to beresponsible, I can't wait.
And then we got on the cruiseand it turns out that, yes, we
were in a different location.
However, my responsibilitieswere still intact.
(03:17):
My husband and my kids all keptlooking to me to say is next,
what do we do?
Where do we go for these things?
What's for food?
Where is the food?
And it got so stressful thefirst and second day because I
didn't know either and I wasalso learning where was
everything and what we weresupposed to be doing.
A few moments of tension forlack of better word during the
(03:39):
trip.
That, you know, kind of is whatit was, what it was like.
You know, there was nothing Ican do about it.
The part that really threw meoff more was I guess I was
expecting the kids to just behappy the whole time.
And then the reality of itreally was and you know I'm
going to keep it real with you,I'm not going to give you the
rosy glow pictures the realityof it was was that we were way
(04:02):
out of their routine and theircomfort level.
We're very regimented here atour house because you know we
have kids and we need to makesure that they stay on track.
We need to make sure that we dothings in a pretty particular
schedule.
So now we're in a differentplace.
I wasn't getting my morningmeditation and I normally have
an hour to myself in the morningfor coffee and, you know, just
(04:22):
waking up and getting myselftogether, that wasn't happening
at all.
My husband usually gets to stepout to go to the gym.
You know, like there werecertain things that just weren't
.
One of the bigger things, toothat we also didn't have access
to was internet.
So we did have an internetpackage, but we only had one.
So we were all kind of kickingit around between us.
But again, before we left I waslike why do we need internet?
(04:43):
I'm not going to waste money ona package for that.
We're on vacation.
I don't want anyone on a devicethat meant I had to engage the
whole time, which I also am notused to, and I'm going to be the
first one to raise my hand here.
I know what some people will sayand the judgment is very real
for moms like myself that do usetechnology with their kids.
But I do.
I need a minute, I need toclean, I need to cook.
(05:06):
I'm not going to be like amonkey dancing for my children.
And before any of the naysayerskind of come in here with a
judgment, I just want to pointout that like, yes, they can
play on their own, and they do.
They have games, they have allkinds of things.
They play, pretend, my kids doall kinds of stuff, but, yes,
when they're settling down andresting and what have you, they
(05:29):
will use their device to relaxand just hang out.
We didn't have that on this trip.
We also, because it was acruise, which I don't think I
mentioned, but because it was acruise, the rooms were really
small so you really couldn'thang out in the room.
You had to leave the room,which I was expecting.
(05:50):
But again, I wasn't expectingthe fallout.
So I was a little surprised andit was, and it was honestly
kind of devastating, becausemaybe devastating is too strong
of a word, but it feltdevastating in the moment
because I had worked so hard forthis moment to pull the details
together, to make sure I hadeverything set up, to make sure
everyone's bags were were packed, to make sure that, you know,
we got there on time, to makesure I understood and knew all
the details as much as I could.
So then to have everyone turnaround and just be totally out
(06:13):
of their heads the first twodays because nobody knew what to
do, what to eat, where to go,was really I, it was.
It was hard for me, in theeffort of transparency which I'd
like to give you all the time.
I broke down on day two andstarted crying and I said to my
kids my husband was at the gymbecause you know we had started
(06:34):
to work out a schedule where hewould get to have some time to
himself in the morning to gowork out with the other guys
that were in our group.
Um, and I just kind of snapped,and not like screaming snapped,
I just started crying.
I went into the bathroom andjust let it loose because the
buildup to that moment was sostressful.
And then to have my kidscomplaining about the food
(06:55):
because it clearly wasn't pizza,bagels and chicken nuggets was
just so deflating and so hard.
Even thinking about it now.
I was really struggling.
So I just started crying and Ilet them see it and they were
like what's wrong?
What happened?
And I told them I'm like look,exactly what I just said to you
guys.
I'm like I worked really hardfor us to be here To have you
(07:18):
guys complaining and fightingand being rude is hurtful.
And I explained it to them andthey kind of got it.
They're kids, you know, theyare who they are.
But thankfully, when we got toexcursion number two, which was,
I think, on the fourth day.
It was such a beautiful momentthat it made up for more than
made up for the three days priorthat were really really tough
(07:42):
and really hard for us to adjustto.
And then after that, everyonestill was who they were and you
know kids are going to fightwith each other and they're
going to complain.
But we started to find our paceand find a rhythm and it
started to settle things down.
Now, a couple of things I didwant to say, just note.
We went on a Royal Caribbeancruise down to the Bahamas
Gorgeous, something I wanted tonote.
(08:03):
Complaint number one Firstexcursion that we went out on.
The description was, I mean,over the top, as you can imagine
, and it was very much like oh,you know, you're going to be
taken on a boat through likehistoric, you know, bahamas, and
then you get to the Blue LagoonIsland and you'll have a
bohemian lunch and you know it'ssupposed to be this like big,
(08:24):
beautiful package.
So we all go on this excursionand it was incredibly stressful
getting off the boat,disembarking, and then we were
waiting in line for about 45minutes in the hot, blazing sun.
I thought everyone was going tostart passing out.
We finally get onto this boat.
We're all in this little boatthing together, which was fine,
(08:44):
we knew that was coming.
We get off the boat, get to thelagoon and you know immediately
I'm like this is great, this isit, this is gorgeous.
But I looked at my watch andthey said we need to be back to
the boat by six.
Well, it was three o'clock whenwe got there, so that meant,
instead of getting five hours,which is what I thought we were
going to have, we were onlygetting three.
So I'm like all right, I'llswallow it, it's fine, we'll go.
(09:07):
So we're there, we're having agood time.
And then I'm like, you know, wewere there for about two hours
or so and lunch was supposed tobe included in the package.
So we go to have the lunch andI think I've mentioned it a
bunch of times, but I'm avegetarian, so I'm like a
bohemian inspired lunch, likethere's going to be something
vegetarian friendly there.
First of all, it wasn't abohemian lunch unless bohemians
(09:31):
eat hamburgers and hot dogs,which I sincerely doubt but that
was the menu.
It was hamburgers and hot dogsand and oh excuse me and chicken
, barbecue chicken, like this.
This was the lunch.
I'm like this is the mostAmerican lunch I've ever seen in
my life.
And then at the far, far sideof the lunch because at first I
didn't see it vegetarian patties.
Like that's what it was, thesecold vegetarian patties.
(09:52):
So again, let's make the mostof this.
Everyone just ate what we could, because nobody wanted to have
a migraine.
Everyone was just like we'rejust going to eat this even
though it's horrible.
My sandwich was terrible, itwas cold and just you know.
And then we had to head back tothe boat.
So, all in all, first excursionwas kind of a bleh experience.
It was gorgeous, the water wasbeautiful, but, again, not ideal
(10:13):
.
Excursion number two, as Imentioned, made up for
everything else Because it wasdepart at your leisure.
There was much more space.
We purchased the Cocoa BeachClub package.
If you ever go on a RoyalCaribbean cruise to the Bahamas,
the Cocoa Beach Club package.
If you don't get any otherexcursion, do that one.
It was the most amazingexperience For the first day
(10:34):
that we were in the Bahamas.
I do regret that we even went onan excursion at all, but they
don't tell you that there's allthese free things you can do as
soon as you get off the boat,like walk through the shop area
and you can get, you know,souvenirs and you can kind of
just explore on your own.
They don't really, they don'tadvertise that.
So that was kind of afrustration point for me too,
cause I'm like I felt like wecould have had a better time.
(10:55):
But you know, it is what it is.
But, as I said, like afterexcursion number two, things
kind of turned around and wemade more use of the onboard
kids club than we had the firstcouple of days and it just
really made things a lot easier.
So, all in all, overallincredibly grateful.
I was even able to go on avacation and at the end everyone
was happy and like excited togo on another one, and I said,
(11:17):
well, not for several years,right, because Lord knows how
the economy is right now.
A surprising thing that I wantedto share with all of you after
the vacation was the outcome.
Now I sincerely thought thatbeing on this vacation somehow
was going to trigger moregratefulness on my part and I'm
(11:37):
trying to articulate this as I'mrolling it in my head, so just
bear with me if it doesn't makesense right away but I thought
being on that vacation was goingto be the moment that this big
moment of gratefulness from meto the universe because I
finally on a dream vacation withmy entire family my husband, my
kids, my stepkids, my grandkids, my stepdaughter's fiance like
(11:57):
this was my dream for years.
To be able to do something likethis with my family, to be able
to afford something like thatis a massive privilege, and I
don't think people realize howbig of a privilege it is to be
able to do this kind of stuff,and so I was incredibly grateful
to be able to even providesomething like this.
So there's that, you know.
But again, I thought somehowthere would be this moment, this
(12:19):
aha moment of oh, this is themoment, this is the gorgeous
moment that you were waiting for.
But that's not when it happened.
Oddly enough, the trip itselfmade me more and more grateful
than I ever have been in myentire life for my home and my
family and what we have builthere.
Going away was a dream.
(12:39):
Coming home was a dream come tolife.
The night after we came home,my husband and I sat outside in
our yard.
We're, you know, overlookingour backyard, and we're in New
Jersey.
So you know, it's not that it'snot.
You know, it's not vast becausewe're on the Jersey shore.
It's not like this vast rollingacres, but it's big enough and
(13:02):
we're sitting there and we'resitting on one of the loungers
and just quiet.
And I just looked over at himand it's one of those moments
that's a subtle light, privilegeand honor, in my opinion, to
have this beautiful, stable,calm place of peace that I'm
building with somebody who Idreamed of building this with,
(13:26):
and I'm talking about my husband.
I dreamed of building this lifewith him and now I'm living
that dream and the waves ofemotion that have been like I've
been experiencing are just allconsuming.
I cannot even express to youhow honored and grateful I am to
be able to sit here and tellyou this, to you, and to be
(13:48):
living this and to be able tohave this podcast, communicate
and connect with all of you andI'm having like a.
It's like the craziest,craziest epiphany and I almost
had to leave it to know howdeeply important this all was or
all is to me and it's like Iwas grateful before.
I mean, you all have heard mesay it, but something about this
(14:08):
has totally shifted my fullperspective and I can't even
begin to tell you how honored Iam and honored I'm not even sure
is the right word, but I am.
It's a tremendous, tremendousthing.
And even you know somethingelse I've even been very
grateful for, as I've been offof work for about a week and a
half.
I still have two days left ofmy vacation time.
(14:30):
The peace of mind I have, evenfor my job, is a dream come true
.
You know, sometimes in myindustry when you leave for
vacation, people throw you underthe bus really hard while
you're gone and it's like toxic.
And you come back and you don'teven know if you're gonna have
a job.
You know people are gonna betalking trash about you.
(14:51):
Like it's just uncomfortable.
And to know that I work withsuch an amazing group of people
that all I'm thinking about isthat I'm excited to see
everybody on Wednesday.
Like that I've missed everyone.
I want to see what's going onand how can I help.
Like it's it's out of thisworld.
It really is.
So I put it to all of you Thankyou so much for being here with
me on this journey.
I encourage everybody as you'reunfolding things, as you're
(15:16):
finding time in your day, startmeditating, please.
I'm begging you to start,because if you don't, it will
continue on as you are.
Kathy Heller has an amazingmonthly meditation.
If you don't know what the hellyou're doing, go to
kathyhellercom Check out herguided meditations.
That's where I started and I'mtelling you.
It is life changing.
(15:36):
You will get your dream life.
You just have to start doingthis.
So I thank you all for beinghere with me.
I'm excited for the summerseries.
I love doing these littlethought starters and things with
all of you, so I'm reallylooking forward to that and
let's see where this journeytakes us.
I hope you enjoyed this episode, even though I rambled a bit,
(15:59):
and I will catch you on the nextone, take care.
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