August 29, 2025 • 39 mins
Rebecca Lyons' path to creating Her-Say began with a story too many women know intimately. For eight years, she experienced debilitating symptoms—extreme fatigue, heavy bleeding, and IBS-like issues—only to have medical professionals dismiss her concerns when initial tests came back normal. This invalidation led her to doubt her own body's signals until a life-changing encounter with a nurse practitioner who finally took her seriously, resulting in a diagnosis of stage four endometriosis.
"I finally had an answer," Rebecca shares with palpable relief. "You don't feel crazy anymore. It's not in your head." This validation became the spark for Her-Say, an AI-powered platform helping women prepare for medical appointments and advocate effectively for themselves.
The conversation delves into the compounding pressures women face—Rebecca recounts leading global sales teams while experiencing burnout, pushing through multiple miscarriages and family losses without adequate support. When her daughter was finally conceived after these hardships, she recognized the need for profound change in her life and career.
Both Rebecca and host Jenny candidly discuss their struggles with postpartum anxiety and the resistance many women feel toward seeking help. "For no reason, I was opposed to being on medication," Rebecca admits. "I would never have judged any of my friends for it." This double standard women often apply to themselves versus others highlights a critical aspect of self-advocacy.
What makes this episode particularly powerful are the practical strategies shared for healthcare appointments. Rebecca emphasizes the importance of detailed symptom tracking, clearly communicating impact on daily life, and explicitly stating desired outcomes. "You are allowed to push. You are allowed to ask for a second opinion. You are allowed to disagree with your treatment plan," she asserts, challenging the tendency many women have to shrink in medical settings.
The wisdom shared here extends beyond healthcare into life balance. As Rebecca now builds Her-Say while raising her daughter, she's implementing lessons learned from burnout. "My time with her at the stages she goes through as she grows—that time is so short," she reflects, echoing Jenny's husband's wisdom: "You're the ship. If the ship goes down, we're all going down with you."
Ready to transform your healthcare experience? Listen now and discover how to advocate effectively for your health and wellbeing.
https://www.rebeccalynnlyons.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everybody, this is Still Rose's podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I am very excited to introduceyou to our guest this evening.
We have Rebecca Lyons with us.
She is the visionary founderand CEO of Hersey, an AI-powered
women's health advocatedesigned to help women walk into
medical appointments prepared,self-assured and fully in charge
(00:21):
.
After leading global salesoperations teams, rebecca
experienced severe burnout and,despite years of being dismissed
and gas-wiped by the healthcaresystem, she was finally
diagnosed with stage fourendometriosis.
Out of that experience, shebuilt what didn't exist a
platform that empowers women tostop minimizing their symptoms
and start owning their voice,transforming how women advocate
(00:42):
for their health and navigatetheir care.
Rebecca, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Thanks so much for having me, Jenny.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Women's healthcare is a real hot topic for me.
I could talk about it for hourson end.
So before I start ranting andrambling, I would love for you
to share more of your story withthe listeners and let them know
more of the details around howyou got through what you got
through and then really how youlaunched Hercex.
(01:09):
I think this is an amazingplatform.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Absolutely I.
Oh gosh, there's so much toshare when it comes to sort of
the journey and I'll try to keepit concise.
But when I initiallyexperienced some endometriosis
symptoms, my doctor did help melook into some of what was going
on.
You know I was experiencingpretty extreme fatigue.
I had IBS-like symptoms, wassort of having heavy bleeding
(01:36):
and other things, and so when wetook a look, you know that
looked like a referral for asleep study, some blood panels
right, they check your iron,they check your thyroid, all of
those fun things.
And when all of my labs cameback clear, the answer was sort
of a shoulder shrug I guesseverything's all right, so
there's nothing going on withyou.
(01:56):
And not only was that reallyinvalidating of my experience, I
believed it.
I thought, oh my gosh, like Imustn't be experiencing this
then.
So that was about a little overeight years ago.
I ended up working with anaturopathic doctor for some
time who really helped me a lotwith supplementation, modifying
(02:20):
my diet, kind of working withanti-inflammatory.
She sort of without diagnosingwe didn't know that it was endo
but figured it might be aninflammatory thing.
So turns out endo is a very soyeah, we treated sort of just as
a general inflammatory thing,and and it helped Right, um.
So from here, sorry, myelectronic lines close at a
(02:42):
certain time of the day.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I like it, though I'm going to ask you about it after
we're done recording, by theway.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Absolutely yeah.
So yes, from there, when wesort of fast forward a few years
, I started having thesesymptoms again after sort of
like it was a flare up after arecent health episode and when
that happened I was like oh mygosh, this exact same big flare
up happened to me like eightyears ago and at that time we
(03:09):
did all these tests and nothinghappened.
Now my family doctor hadretired and I am working with a
nurse practitioner-led clinic.
Now my nurse practitioner iswonderful and when I came to her
with these symptoms I had sortof alluded to like maybe this
could be like endometriosis Iknow a few people have it Like
what are your thoughts?
And instead of like brushing itoff and saying oh no, like
(03:30):
you're young, you're healthy, itwas actually like let's dig
into that.
There's a lot of evidenceshowing now that you know one in
10 women has this.
It's a possibility.
So she ordered some tests.
So an ultrasound ideally woulddiagnose not having
endometriosis, because ittypically doesn't present on
there right, it's not like someother disorders, but because I
(03:54):
was so advanced in stage, I havedeep infiltrating endometriosis
and a chocolate cyst.
Bindi Irwin is someone who'sbeen very vocal about her
experience very similarcondition.
It did show up on thatultrasound and I because I
finally had an answer.
And it's like these, thesesymptoms.
You know I've had symptoms foreight years.
(04:15):
It's not like working with thenaturopath was just a magic wand
, solution right, and it wasincredibly validating and I feel
so fortunate to have had thecare now that I've had.
There's unfortunately no cureat this time for endometriosis.
You can manage your symptoms invarious ways, but simply having
(04:37):
the answer of what's going onis like wow, finally.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Like you don't feel crazy anymore, basically Like oh
, I really was feeling this.
It's not in my head.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yes, exactly.
So from this experience, thisvery validating experience with
my nurse practitioner, I thought, wow, it's taken 30 something
years to finally feel believedin a medical setting.
This is crazy.
How can we help more women havethis experience right, Because
I can't be the only one.
And it turns out when we wentto the market, we went to go ask
(05:10):
our network, ask other women tochat with us about their
experiences.
Unfortunately, so many of themhave had these experiences where
they're feeling very gaslit,where they're feeling like
they're not heard, not believed,like they're diminished.
Their experience isn't taken inthe same way that they expect
going into that appointment.
(05:31):
So, yeah, I was a little bitastounded by this really strong
response and all of the feedbackthat we got from these women is
what helped us build Her.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Say.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So it really is much like your podcast is by women
for women, this product verymuch is.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, you know it's unfortunate because that the
gaslighting happened so much.
Now I know that there's a lotof shared decision making,
medical tools that are beingproduced and pushed out and
there is a lot more awareness.
So I have hope that eventually,when my daughters get to a
(06:14):
point where they have their ownOBs and everything, that it will
be a different scenario andthat they won't have the same
kind of situation.
But I mean, I've even had, youknow, and and I feel like a lot
of folks think, or a lot ofwomen think, well, if I have a
female doctor it will bedifferent.
But it's actually not.
I had, I had a situation, um, toto.
(06:35):
I want to say like two yearsago or so.
Um, cortisol levels wereextremely high for me about two
years ago and I'm not sure ifthat had something to do with
the inflammation, but I feellike it's.
You know, it's all tiedtogether and so I was having
really, really awful pain and Itold the doctor I was like you
know, I have endometriosis, I'vealready been diagnosed, and it
(06:55):
was very frustrating.
She was like oh no, well, youstill have to go get the
ultrasounds done.
We still have to do all theseultrasounds to check all these
boxes off.
And I said I was like, well,actually, you know, I'd really
like to have the surgery wherethey just clean it out, like
that worked well last time.
She was like, no, let's not dothat, let's do a full
hysterectomy.
And I was like, well, not thatI'm having I'm not having any
more kids or anything like thatbut that's such a major surgery
(07:16):
in my insurance couldn't coverit properly.
You know all the reasons whywomen wouldn't go for surgery.
It was like insurance wasn'tcovering it all the way.
The finances on my side for myjob, like they couldn't cover me
being out of the office, all ofthese reasons like stacked up.
(07:38):
But what really stands out fromthe whole scenario was the way
that my OB handled the situationwith me and was almost like I
was having all this pain.
So we're having the whole likehysterectomy conversation.
But I was also feeling immenselyfatigued.
I just, I just was not feelingwell and the doctor made like
(07:59):
this snide remark about havingto do blood work for me because
I wouldn't stop complaining andI was like I don't feel well,
like I'm in a hormonal rage allthe time.
I'm fatigued, you know, and Iwas like trying to just grasp
that something tangible, to saylike something's, something's
wrong, like this is it Like?
Now I know what to do?
And in the discussion she pullsmy blood work out after she
(08:23):
makes this snide remark and shegoes oh, you're anemic and I was
like you know, are you going tosit there and point a finger at
me and punish me and make mefeel bad for pushing to have
blood work done when you did infact find something and now I
can deal with it?
So that happens so much and I'mwell enough informed to know
like to push back on certainareas, but a lot of people
(08:45):
aren't.
And it's very frustrating tohear like women in my family
saying like oh yeah, I went tothe doctor and he just said this
.
So I went home and I just tookthe medicine and I'm like but
you didn't ask, you know X, yand Z, and they're like well, no
, the doctor said it, so it's,you know it's.
That whole scenario is veryfrustrating.
It can be very frustrating, Ithink, across the board.
So I think it's really trulyamazing that you're doing this
(09:08):
service, really bored from whatyou experience.
So I think it's stage fourendometriosis, and obviously I
have endometriosis too, so I dounderstand that element of it.
So, outside of your diagnosisand developing Herce prior to
that, I know that you I thinkyou were in corporate, you were
in sales and you had noted thatyou had experienced pretty
(09:33):
severe burnout.
I talked about it in your bio.
Do you think, because of theposition that you were in, you
were less likely to raise a handand say like I feel bad, I
don't feel well and I need toget help?
You know, like I feel like it'salmost all intertwined and I
wanted to get your thoughts onthat.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Absolutely.
I think there's a lot that wetake on as women from a
burdensome standpoint.
I really pushed through when Iwas suffering, not just, you
know, physically, but mentally.
I was struggling really a lotwith burnout, and I was always
the person to say yes to takingon that extra project, taking on
(10:13):
that extra team, when my teamended up kind of becoming the
team that, when no one elsecould figure out how to do
something or no one else wantedto do something, we ended up,
you know, kind of taking that on, so we figured it out.
I'm a very solutions orientedperson, took on sort of a lot of
wonderful digitaltransformation project that was
nowhere within the scope of myrole, but really enjoyed that
(10:36):
process and sort of the more Itook on though, I felt fulfilled
in the skills that I waslearning, in how I was growing
in my career.
Of course, the more you take on, the more your plate gets full
and eventually you can'tactually handle more on your
plate and it's going to overflow.
There was a time where I hadgone through multiple
(10:58):
miscarriages my dog passed away,my grandmother passed away four
months in a row.
My husband literally called me.
I was about to get on stage atthis huge company meeting, in
this merger acquisition scenariothat had happened.
It was the first time all ofthe teams were together.
He calls me at five minutes dueon stage and says we need to
(11:20):
make a decision about the dog.
We need to either put her downor have a surgery.
Like it was a terriblesituation and I told him I can't
make this decision right now.
I'm going on stage in fiveminutes, I'm up the phone, did
my thing, didn't tell anybodyand then called him after to
make this decision.
Like it's just crazy, thethings that we need to do to
(11:42):
push forward Right, the thingsthat we need to do to push
forward right.
It was really incredibly likestressful, dealing with all of
these things, on top of beingthat top performer at work, on
top of keeping the home togetherright, on top of being the
friend and the family member.
It was I don't even know how Idid it and how I coped and when
(12:05):
I got pregnant with my daughter.
So I had that four month ofcrap and then, finally, that
fifth month, she was conceivedand I was like, oh my God, this
is what I need, this is going towork, this is going to be great
and I had a wonderful pregnancy.
Towards sort of that end, Iknew I needed to start to think
(12:27):
about what change might looklike in my life.
I really wanted to have time tospend with her and I didn't
want to be this burnt out shellof a person because I didn't
think I would be able to show upas her mom the right way, right
.
So, yeah, that's part of what Iwould say inspired the
(12:47):
entrepreneurial journey as wellJust trying to build something
that will make the world abetter place, not just for
myself, for my daughter, for myfriends, for my family.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
You know, I really I like what you said there
self-reflection around you had apause moment.
You went through all thesemonths of, like, really bad
things and things just reallytraumatic, and going through all
that emotion and emotions andthen you finally conceive and,
especially in your scenario, ifyou had difficulty conceiving
and keeping the pregnancy, thatmust have been such a major
(13:21):
moment for you to be like holdon, I'm getting this blessing.
I need to step back and I needto really take care of this
beautiful blessing because it islike a miracle when things like
that happen.
It really is, and it's almost amiracle when it came into play.
You have all these losses andthen you have this win here.
That's like I'm going to bethis light in your life now,
(13:42):
which is such a beautiful, sucha beautiful thing.
I reflect a lot on when I waspregnant with my kids and when
they were little.
I remember, in the moment,feeling jealous of other women
who were having pregnancies andhaving their babies and where
they were solely focused ontheir baby and being in the
(14:02):
moment and enjoying all thelittle milestones, because I
know I did it to myself, sothere is really no one to blame
but me, but I felt very muchlike I rushed through the entire
thing, like I was always tryingto get to the next thing.
What's the next thing, what'sthe next thing that I have to do
?
Once I get that done, then I'llbe able to relax.
And that time never came.
(14:23):
And now, like I look back, myhusband will get like, not mad
at me, but he's like, please,jenny, don't do this.
Tonight We'll all start lookingat videos and I'm like, oh, do
you remember?
And they were this small, and Idon't remember I was in such a
rush.
And my kids my son was born in2016.
I had twins in 2017.
So, from 2017 on, it was.
(14:46):
It was very much a whirlwindand I remember watching, you
know, my family members thatwere having babies and they were
so, like you know, excitedabout the baby and excited about
the moment, and I was justtrying to survive.
It felt like the entire time.
So I'm I want to acknowledgewhat you did there, because,
prior to her coming, you're likeI'm going to be ready for that,
(15:07):
I'm going to be emotionallyprepared and I'm going to pull
this burnout out, because thatwas.
The other element as well thatI'll share is that, when they
were infants.
I felt like I had to doubletime it.
Like that's like the normalcorporate woman response you
have a child and you feel likeyou have to apologize for having
a child.
Absolutely, you must have seenthat all the like you have to
(15:27):
apologize for having a child.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Absolutely no-transcript.
Yeah, absolutely.
There is a definite feeling ofgratitude the entire time.
I'm very fortunate to have hada very, very easy pregnancy.
I loved being pregnant, it wasgreat.
I did have a little bit of that.
You know, everyone goes throughthat period of matrescence and
trying to figure out who thisnew person is, not just the baby
(15:52):
, but yourself.
Right, and it wasn't smoothsailing by any means it never is
, especially with a newborn.
And I really struggled with myidentity as a person.
Having been that overachiever,I was so attached to my identity
, being where I was in my careerand how I was moving up in my
career, and now all of a suddenit felt like that no longer
(16:13):
mattered, like this mattered somuch more.
But I didn't know how to be muchlike yourself, like kind of
chasing the next thing wasn't mychallenge, it was more figuring
out how to be a mom and feelconfident as a mom.
It was the confidence piecethat was lacking for many, many
months, I would say until abouteight months along.
(16:35):
That was when I started to feellike okay, I think I've kind of
got the hang of this and now,at a year and a half, like we're
smooth sailing, I feel likeright, yes, exactly, but the
entire time, though, things didget really, really hard.
I was always just so grateful tobe there in the first place
because of that experience thatI'd had, and so it was never
(16:58):
there was never an issue withwith managing through.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Did you?
I'm curious about this because Iwas just reading something
about this for, for women whohave trouble conceiving, that
quite often after after thebirth, quite often after after
the birth, um, they do havepostpartum.
(17:21):
And then it's almost even worsebecause people look at them and
are like you tried so hard toget pregnant.
What are you talking about?
Like, like they all like, and Ihave to.
Part of the reason why my headgoes here is because I had that
exact reaction.
Many, many years ago, before Ihad kids, before I met my
husband, a friend had had a babyand she explains to me like she
was going through postpartum.
I had no idea about what thisreally entailed and I remember
(17:46):
in my head thinking to myselflike oh, you're just looking for
attention.
And now I feel like sick, evensaying admitting that, because
I'm like Holy Holy garbage, holyholy garbage, like I.
I, when I was a person who didthis, like I was a person who
permeated the problem, so I wascurious if you experienced
anything like that after you hadyour daughter absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I struggled with severe postpartum anxiety and, I
think, part of that identitycrisis, coupled with lack of
sleep.
We had a lot of feeding issuestoo.
My daughter hardly slept, Ithink, because we figured out
later on she's probably hungryall the time.
So there was a lot going on.
Like I said, it was not smoothsailing and holding on to that
(18:29):
thread of like just thatgratitude is really what got me
through.
So I am very lucky to have awonderful support system, right
like I.
I have not done this by myself.
I have a supportive husband, mymom, my in-laws, my dad people
are all around and they're very,very helpful.
So, um, I don't know what Iwould have done if I didn't have
(18:52):
their support and I did aroundthat eight month mark.
You know, things might havegotten easier because that was
when I started to go on an emptyor an SSRI, like for anxiety,
right, so it took.
That was a massive hurdle for me.
I was really for no reasonopposed to being on medication.
If any of my friends would haveasked me or you know needed, I
(19:14):
never would have judged them forit.
I would have said you need todo what you need to do.
There's no issue with that, butfor myself I had such, it was
such a roadblock.
I don't I can't tell you why,but I finally sort of realized I
needed to do somethingdifferent and the therapy wasn't
working.
And all of the meditation andall of the diet change and all
(19:35):
it like it was I've tried asmuch as I possibly could.
So when I decided to make thatchange and I decided to try the
medication, all of a sudden, youknow, a couple of weeks along,
when you're going on that, wow,I don't have all of these
nagging thoughts in the back ofmy mind all the time.
Wow, I can take a minute tobreathe.
Wow, I can enjoy my day with mybaby.
(19:58):
It's not so stressful.
And so that was also, I think,a bit of a life changer in I had
been so hard on myself and Ididn't give myself the support
that I needed to get through notjust this hard time.
I probably should have, like,looked at this many years ago,
(20:18):
dealing with all of the griefand all that, right, like.
So I feel now a lot moregracious.
I give myself more grace, right, I feel like, wow, whatever you
need to make yourself feel welland feel whole, do it right,
right, like why do we, why don'twe do this to ourselves?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
You know, said like you weren't.
You were like I don't know whyI didn't want to go on medicine,
even though you would have beensupportive of someone else.
I don't know why I didn't wantto do it.
You know, I've I've had thatscenario like many, many times
over and I've had to have to tapinto it and go for medication
in times when it was like really, really bad.
(21:02):
And the most recent time waslast year.
I was just bottoming out, Iwould, my anxiety was through
the roof, like just to the pointwhere it was unbearable and I
just couldn't.
I just couldn't be myself, Icould not function as a mom and
every I was.
I felt so badly for my kidsbecause my anxiety was so awful
that I would be screaming atthem and it was really hurting
me because, like I don't wantthem to grow up and be like, oh
(21:26):
yeah, mom was nuts, she wasalways screaming at us and, and
so that's always what pushed meto it.
But there, I think there's likethere's a lot of stigma in that
and people are like I.
You know, I don't want to feellike a failure, I don't want to
feel like I need help, I think Ican do this myself.
But I took the same path as you.
Like I tried vitamins.
You know, meditation is a bigdeal for me, like that hands
down, like I love it, but likein that moment when things were
(22:01):
so bad, I was like I'm going tohave to do it.
It is what it is and thankfullyI didn't have to be on it for
very long because I was able tochange the situation that was
causing the stress, but you knowin that moment it helped it
basically saved me.
Yeah, so you go through thisperiod of time.
You know you have thegaslighting with the
endometriosis.
Then you also, I'm sure, whenyou're pregnant there's also.
There's also conversations thathappen when you're pregnant and
there's scenarios that happeneven when you're in the hospital
giving birth.
That I know me personally.
(22:22):
There was some situations when Iwas in the hospital.
I had two C-sections, and thefirst one it was fine and I was
okay.
But the second one there wasvery distinct moments of I feel
like I'm being mishandled, Ifeel like no one's listening to
me and I feel like what I'msaying?
One nurse scoffed at me.
She did one of those and I waslike I'm trying to get two
(22:45):
people out of my body.
Just cut me some slack.
So self-advocacy is a hugetopic for me and, I know, for
you, for someone who is beatingdown a door and they're feeling
like I'm not getting answers,like what does that look like
for you?
You know we have her say andwe'll be able to obviously tap
into that once it's fullydeveloped.
But you know what doesself-advocacy mean to you?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think self-advocacy is reallyabout making sure that you're
feeling confident and likeyou're in control in every
moment, right?
So when it comes to our health,there's a little bit of this
narrative that we tell ourselveswhere we put the onus on the
doctor to be in charge of ourcare, and as much as they are,
(23:31):
that's their job and we alsohave a part to play in that
scenario, and it is reallyimportant for us to be not only
in tune with our body and howwe're feeling.
We need to be able tocommunicate that effectively.
Yes, the expectation should bethat on the receiving end, we
are respected, right.
But it needs to sort of startwith the patient, right.
(23:55):
So, patient first.
I'm really sorry to hear thatyou went through that experience
, and giving birth is never aneasy situation.
It's always high stress foreverybody who's involved and I
think we don't give women thecredit that they deserve in,
like you said, when you'rebringing life into the world,
that's a pretty big deal, it'svery strenuous, it is a
(24:18):
potentially life or deathsituation, and we need to make
sure that we're very respectfulof what the mother needs in the
moment, right.
Sometimes that is more on theemotional support side than
anything right.
I would say that there's manyscenarios where you know, like
(24:43):
her say, can help only so muchin a moment where you're needing
to make a critical decision,right, but throughout the
appointment schedule, that wouldcertainly be where we could
support.
So if we come to ourappointments really prepared and
what I mean by prepared isyou're not going to sit down and
tell your doctor I've been kindof tired lately.
You're going to keep a detailedlog of how you've been feeling
over time and when you sit downwith them, you're going to tell
(25:05):
them the Coles notes of that.
You only have a handful ofminutes in your appointment.
They probably don't have timeto go through your entire, you
know.
But what you can say is I'vebeen tracking my symptoms and
I've noticed that over the pastfew months I've been moderately
to extremely fatigued more oftenthan not, like 90% of the time.
(25:26):
How does this impact my life?
I can't get out of bed in themorning or I'm going to bed at 7
pm when everybody else is goingat 9 or 10 or 11, right, I like
.
What is the impact on your life?
How severe?
What's the impact on your lifeFrom there if you are hoping for
(25:47):
an outcome from thatappointment.
Communicating that to yourdoctor is very helpful.
I would like to work out adiagnosis.
I would like a treatment planto help with my symptoms, right?
Because, again, as much as thedoctor, you know they have their
protocol they need to gothrough.
They're going to try to, basedon your symptoms, sum up what
they're thinking, maybeprescribe you additional
(26:09):
diagnostics or treatment,depending on where you're at in.
You know they're seeinghundreds of people a day.
You've been experiencing thisfor some time.
You can tell them I'm hoping toget a treatment for my symptoms
.
I want to dig into this further.
What else can we do to sort offigure out what's going on?
Right?
Making sure that there'salignment is really important,
and I think sometimes we setourselves up for a little bit of
(26:31):
disappointment because we'renot going in there asking for
what we want.
We're kind of expecting them tobe a mind reader, and that's
not fair, right?
I haven't met any doctor orheard of a doctor who's gotten
into practicing medicine not tohelp people, right?
They're there to help you.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
You know, coming prepared is something that I
think you know, and I'm faultyof this too were exactly what
you just said.
I don't go into the detail.
So the first and there's been,so there was a few different
appointments that led up toeventually my OB cracking and
just being like I'm just goingto let you get your blood work
done and then we'll just go fromthere.
But I also, you know, hadconversations with my primary
(27:10):
care physician at the same time.
Like I was kind of hit in bothbecause I'm like I don't know
what's going on.
But, to your point, I didn't gointo those initial appointments
with a very specific list.
I said I've been very fatiguedlately and I did say I was like
it feels like my body's, likeI'm dragging a dead body around.
That's what it felt like to me.
And I was like I you know I'mhaving really bad brain fog.
(27:33):
I can't function Taking naps atlike two o'clock in the
afternoon.
Like that's not me, Like that,none of this is me.
I'm not the person to do that.
I'm not the person to like laydown I almost took a nap today,
but it's an entirely differentscenario Like yeah, I'm, but I'm
truly not the person that'salways like oh, like I'm almost
always doing something.
So that to me was like a bigred flag.
(27:54):
But the first time I said it tothe doctor they're like oh well
, you know, you're getting older.
And I was like, all right, likeno, but I think this is
something they're like well,let's wait and see at your next
appointment.
And the wait and see part isalways really frustrating to me.
So I'm like I get it, cause Ido understand protocols, like my
line of work, like I get allthat.
(28:15):
But it's just incrediblyfrustrating from, like, the
patient perspective.
Our health care system ingeneral is very complex in terms
in in us being able to get care.
The complexities and the hoopjumping I think is such a
barrier because, like myself,for example, I had this whole
big thing where I was tryingreally hard to get answers on
(28:36):
the fatigue and on the pain,eventually was able to figure
out the fatigue mostly, and Ican.
I've been cycle thinking, soI'm keeping an eye on my cycle
to say I'm like, oh, this makessense of fatigue this week, that
week, whatever.
So a lot of it is me figuringit out and lately talking to
doctors about it because I feltlike I wasn't really getting
really direct feedback andguidance.
(28:56):
So I've gotten some sense oflike I understand my body and my
hormones and like what I'mgoing through but on a larger
scale, like a more major issue.
If you're younger, you know, orif you're having like actual
major problems and you go to thedoctor and they're just like,
well, let's wait and see whathappens, you're going to end up,
you're not going to go andyou're going to miss
appointments and then yourhealth is at risk because of
(29:18):
this.
So I'm glad that you are usingwhat you went through to really
address something that's apretty large barrier for women
all over the place.
That's, it's a pretty big deal.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Absolutely, and I really hope the listeners are
sort of hearing your story ofbeing persistent, because that
is a part of it.
I'm not going to say that hersay is the be all and end all
and it's going to get you allyour answers, because it does
depend on the practitioner.
And you are allowed to push.
You are allowed to ask for asecond opinion.
You're allowed to ask foradditional diagnostics.
(29:52):
You're allowed to disagree.
You're allowed to disagree withyour treatment plan.
Like all of these things, wetend to sort of shrink in those
moments and just take what theysay at face value, even when we
don't agree with it.
And when it comes to yourhealth, you are the only person
who knows yourself and how youfeel.
You're the only person whounderstands your actual baseline
(30:14):
.
And just because somethingdoesn't come up on the labs that
were run doesn't mean theymight not come up on a different
panel, or it doesn't mean thatit's related to something to do
that with a blood work right,like endometriosis doesn't show
up on blood work, right.
So I think there's, there's.
You want to understand thatthere's validity in your feeling
(30:36):
and you're allowed to push.
You're allowed to ask.
Have as many appointments asyou need until you get answers,
and don't take no for an answerif you know that there's
something going on.
There are too many women whohave had worse outcomes because
they're not listening either totheir bodies or they're not
pushing back when theyunfortunately need to, and
(30:58):
there's no reason in 2025 thatwe should be in this position.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, honestly, 100%.
You know, when I had myendometriosis diagnosis well one
, I didn't realize what I wasbeing diagnosed with.
There's that.
But it was by mistake, becausethey thought my uterus, my
abdominal pain, was somethingelse and they went in to get
that something else and itturned out it was endometriosis
the entire time.
So it's unless you push, you'rereally, really not going to get
(31:25):
an answer.
And I've said that, you know,on many, many episodes like you
really have to be your ownadvocate.
And in the position of a womanwho has children, you also are
your kids advocates too.
So it's time to really pony up,like, as hard as you would
fight for your child, you haveto fight for yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
And honestly, even saying it out loud, like I also
want to admit, I quite oftendidn't fight for myself, until
like recently, because me beinga priority wasn't a big deal.
So it's taken me many, manyyears to get to a point where
I'm like I am a priority, I'mimportant here.
My husband will say to me andhe, because he pushes me more to
take care of myself than likeanybody else, and he's like you
(32:05):
don't understand, because hemakes this scenario he says
you're the ship.
If the ship goes down, we'reall going down with you.
You have to take care ofyourself.
You have to step back and helpyourself out.
At my age I'm in my early 40she's like you know, I need to
start building muscle mass, Ineed to think about bone density
, like there's all these otherthings that like come into play
(32:26):
into your 40s and into your 50sthat you have to be mindful of,
because you don't get younger.
Your body starts to.
Everything that you did in your20s starts to come out in your
40s and then you have to dealwith it.
I had a table dropped on myfoot in my early 50s and I just
kept going because my kids werelittle and I had to get them to
daycare, and I had to get towork, and I had all these things
(32:47):
, and I apparently have nervedamage in my foot and I can't
feel part of my foot, but Inever got it taken care of.
So now, in my forties though,I'm having problems now with my
foot because I did this thingand I never acknowledged it.
So I want to just share thatfor a minute, because I was very
much a person that was like oh,it'll be fine, I'll heal, it'll
be okay, and I didn't payattention.
(33:09):
And now there's things that arehappening that I'm like oh my
God, I know why this ishappening.
I should have gotten helpsooner.
I should have done something.
So I do want to take a beat totell the listeners, like please
be mindful of your health.
And the sooner that you starttaking care of your body and
paying attention to what's goingon, the more it will be better
for you later on.
That's an old person thing tosay, but it's so true.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
It's very true.
Yeah, absolutely, and I thinkthere's so much that, as women,
we tend to push off.
We're the caregivers.
We have so much on our plate,no matter who you are right,
there's a lot, and you do reallyneed to put yourself first
because, yeah, you are the ship.
So I like that analogy.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
He says that to me all the time he's like you need
to do it.
I'm like, all right, take iteasy.
So one more thing I have foryou that I'd like you to talk
about a little bit.
Being the position that you arein, you're developing this.
It's an app, right Per se.
It's going to be an app.
All right, me enough, Okay.
So you're developing this appfor women to download that we
can use to help us advocate forourselves.
That's, that's like a big dealto me in itself.
(34:13):
You had this high poweredposition that caused this
tremendous burnout.
How, how have you changed howyou're showing up as an
entrepreneur in your workplaceand leading almost by example,
because you're going to beleading through your daughter
and showing her like?
How have you shifted as aperson based on all these
experiences that you have?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I am still very much a highcaliber person.
I must say I do still tend totake maybe too much on, but I am
enjoying every minute ofeverything I'm doing and I think
I do need to constantly remindmyself to take that step back
(34:54):
and spend the time with mydaughter while she's young, so
that I enjoy the moment that Iget out with my husband and we
have a social life right, like Ido sometimes need to.
But a lot of that comes fromjust scheduling it in the
calendar and sticking by theschedule.
If I'm taking meetings within acertain amount of time, don't
(35:14):
budge on that.
Don't add a few because, yeah,I did that by accident.
One week ended up with a weekfull of meetings all over again
and they didn't all need to getdone that week.
I just overextended myselfagain.
So I'm not perfect in taking myown advice, but I am trying.
I really think my daughter hasgrounded me a lot in like that
(35:37):
time is so short.
My time with her right at thestages that she goes through as
she grows, that time is so short.
My time here as an entrepreneurand a mom with a young baby
like this is all.
It's very temporary and that's.
It's great when you're lookingat the things that maybe you
(35:57):
don't really want to deal with.
That's temporary too, right?
When I was dealing with thenewborn stage, I knew that that
was temporary and that's how Igot through it, right.
But you really want to hold onto those moments that are
temporary and fleeting.
And, yeah, I think putting theperspective of, like, enjoying
your time while you're herebecause you don't even know how
(36:19):
long you've got here right,that's really what helps me,
helps me keep balance.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I like that because you're you're rewiring yourself
basically.
Yeah, I like that becauseyou're rewiring yourself
basically.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
To show up differently and you're
recognizing like in this moment,I have to be present in this
moment and you will falter.
I have missteps all the time.
I was just explaining to one ofthe other guests this weekend
that I basically revampedeverything that I do with the
podcast to make it fit betterinto my life so that it wasn't,
(36:52):
you know, like I was explainingto you how I used to overextend
myself quite a bit and I'm likeI don't want to do that.
I want to maintain the podcastand make it fit into my life,
not vice versa, like I'm nottrying to fit into the podcast.
So it takes a lot of practiceand you will falter, but like
that's part of the process oflike standing back up and saying
you know what.
No, like I'm going to do thisthe way it's supposed to be done
and how I want to be doing it.
(37:13):
I have moments all the timewhere I'm like I have to take a
step back.
I took a hiatus from thepodcast earlier this year for
like six weeks.
Like there's sometimes thingsyou have to do to reset.
So I want to acknowledge thatfor you, even if you're not
acknowledging it for yourselfhow important it is that you're
doing that right now and howmuch of an impact that's going
to have on your daughter's lifethat you're actually showing up
(37:35):
and being present.
That's such a big deal.
I have to say I'm super excitedabout this app, like I really
truly am.
This is such a big deal andit's such a huge resource for
women.
So thank you for putting thetime and effort there to develop
that.
Listeners, I'm going to linkright now on screen Rebecca's
website If you want to go andcheck it out.
(37:56):
There's lots of resources onhere testimonials You're able to
reach out directly.
You can work with Rebecca.
If you're looking for a speaker.
She's available for that.
Rebecca, anything you want tosay about it, I'm like talking
on your behalf on your website.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah.
So my personal website there.
So I am sort of doing manyspeaking engagements and all
that.
But outside of that, I'd loveto sort of just mention her say
we're launching our public betashortly, so it's coming within
the next couple of weeks.
We did a private beta for thepast few and we're very excited
(38:29):
to be published on the App Storeand the Google Play Store soon.
So please go on our website.
You can find that through mypersonal website or wwwherseyca,
you can sign up for ourwaitlist so you're the first to
know when it's ready, I'm goingto listeners.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I'll link directly to the Hersey website in the
description of the episode soyou can check that out, and then
, once it's released, I'm goingto ask Rebecca to ping me so
that I can also push it to youguys on my socials as well, just
in case.
Rebecca, thank you so much forjoining me today.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Thanks so much, and listeners.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Thank you so much for hanging out with us today.
We will catch you on the nextone.
Take care.
Hello everybody, this is Still Rose's podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I am very excited to introduceyou to our guest this evening.
We have Rebecca Lyons with us.
She is the visionary founderand CEO of Hersey, an AI-powered
women's health advocatedesigned to help women walk into
medical appointments prepared,self-assured and fully in charge
(00:21):
.
After leading global salesoperations teams, rebecca
experienced severe burnout and,despite years of being dismissed
and gas-wiped by the healthcaresystem, she was finally
diagnosed with stage fourendometriosis.
Out of that experience, shebuilt what didn't exist a
platform that empowers women tostop minimizing their symptoms
and start owning their voice,transforming how women advocate
(00:42):
for their health and navigatetheir care.
Rebecca, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Thanks so much for having me, Jenny.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Women's healthcare is a real hot topic for me.
I could talk about it for hourson end.
So before I start ranting andrambling, I would love for you
to share more of your story withthe listeners and let them know
more of the details around howyou got through what you got
through and then really how youlaunched Hercex.
(01:09):
I think this is an amazingplatform.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Absolutely I.
Oh gosh, there's so much toshare when it comes to sort of
the journey and I'll try to keepit concise.
But when I initiallyexperienced some endometriosis
symptoms, my doctor did help melook into some of what was going
on.
You know I was experiencingpretty extreme fatigue.
I had IBS-like symptoms, wassort of having heavy bleeding
(01:36):
and other things, and so when wetook a look, you know that
looked like a referral for asleep study, some blood panels
right, they check your iron,they check your thyroid, all of
those fun things.
And when all of my labs cameback clear, the answer was sort
of a shoulder shrug I guesseverything's all right, so
there's nothing going on withyou.
(01:56):
And not only was that reallyinvalidating of my experience, I
believed it.
I thought, oh my gosh, like Imustn't be experiencing this
then.
So that was about a little overeight years ago.
I ended up working with anaturopathic doctor for some
time who really helped me a lotwith supplementation, modifying
(02:20):
my diet, kind of working withanti-inflammatory.
She sort of without diagnosingwe didn't know that it was endo
but figured it might be aninflammatory thing.
So turns out endo is a very soyeah, we treated sort of just as
a general inflammatory thing,and and it helped Right, um.
So from here, sorry, myelectronic lines close at a
(02:42):
certain time of the day.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I like it, though I'm going to ask you about it after
we're done recording, by theway.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Absolutely yeah.
So yes, from there, when wesort of fast forward a few years
, I started having thesesymptoms again after sort of
like it was a flare up after arecent health episode and when
that happened I was like oh mygosh, this exact same big flare
up happened to me like eightyears ago and at that time we
(03:09):
did all these tests and nothinghappened.
Now my family doctor hadretired and I am working with a
nurse practitioner-led clinic.
Now my nurse practitioner iswonderful and when I came to her
with these symptoms I had sortof alluded to like maybe this
could be like endometriosis Iknow a few people have it Like
what are your thoughts?
And instead of like brushing itoff and saying oh no, like
(03:30):
you're young, you're healthy, itwas actually like let's dig
into that.
There's a lot of evidenceshowing now that you know one in
10 women has this.
It's a possibility.
So she ordered some tests.
So an ultrasound ideally woulddiagnose not having
endometriosis, because ittypically doesn't present on
there right, it's not like someother disorders, but because I
(03:54):
was so advanced in stage, I havedeep infiltrating endometriosis
and a chocolate cyst.
Bindi Irwin is someone who'sbeen very vocal about her
experience very similarcondition.
It did show up on thatultrasound and I because I
finally had an answer.
And it's like these, thesesymptoms.
You know I've had symptoms foreight years.
(04:15):
It's not like working with thenaturopath was just a magic wand
, solution right, and it wasincredibly validating and I feel
so fortunate to have had thecare now that I've had.
There's unfortunately no cureat this time for endometriosis.
You can manage your symptoms invarious ways, but simply having
(04:37):
the answer of what's going onis like wow, finally.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Like you don't feel crazy anymore, basically Like oh
, I really was feeling this.
It's not in my head.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yes, exactly.
So from this experience, thisvery validating experience with
my nurse practitioner, I thought, wow, it's taken 30 something
years to finally feel believedin a medical setting.
This is crazy.
How can we help more women havethis experience right, Because
I can't be the only one.
And it turns out when we wentto the market, we went to go ask
(05:10):
our network, ask other women tochat with us about their
experiences.
Unfortunately, so many of themhave had these experiences where
they're feeling very gaslit,where they're feeling like
they're not heard, not believed,like they're diminished.
Their experience isn't taken inthe same way that they expect
going into that appointment.
(05:31):
So, yeah, I was a little bitastounded by this really strong
response and all of the feedbackthat we got from these women is
what helped us build Her.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Say.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So it really is much like your podcast is by women
for women, this product verymuch is.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, you know it's unfortunate because that the
gaslighting happened so much.
Now I know that there's a lotof shared decision making,
medical tools that are beingproduced and pushed out and
there is a lot more awareness.
So I have hope that eventually,when my daughters get to a
(06:14):
point where they have their ownOBs and everything, that it will
be a different scenario andthat they won't have the same
kind of situation.
But I mean, I've even had, youknow, and and I feel like a lot
of folks think, or a lot ofwomen think, well, if I have a
female doctor it will bedifferent.
But it's actually not.
I had, I had a situation, um, toto.
(06:35):
I want to say like two yearsago or so.
Um, cortisol levels wereextremely high for me about two
years ago and I'm not sure ifthat had something to do with
the inflammation, but I feellike it's.
You know, it's all tiedtogether and so I was having
really, really awful pain and Itold the doctor I was like you
know, I have endometriosis, I'vealready been diagnosed, and it
(06:55):
was very frustrating.
She was like oh no, well, youstill have to go get the
ultrasounds done.
We still have to do all theseultrasounds to check all these
boxes off.
And I said I was like, well,actually, you know, I'd really
like to have the surgery wherethey just clean it out, like
that worked well last time.
She was like, no, let's not dothat, let's do a full
hysterectomy.
And I was like, well, not thatI'm having I'm not having any
more kids or anything like thatbut that's such a major surgery
(07:16):
in my insurance couldn't coverit properly.
You know all the reasons whywomen wouldn't go for surgery.
It was like insurance wasn'tcovering it all the way.
The finances on my side for myjob, like they couldn't cover me
being out of the office, all ofthese reasons like stacked up.
(07:38):
But what really stands out fromthe whole scenario was the way
that my OB handled the situationwith me and was almost like I
was having all this pain.
So we're having the whole likehysterectomy conversation.
But I was also feeling immenselyfatigued.
I just, I just was not feelingwell and the doctor made like
(07:59):
this snide remark about havingto do blood work for me because
I wouldn't stop complaining andI was like I don't feel well,
like I'm in a hormonal rage allthe time.
I'm fatigued, you know, and Iwas like trying to just grasp
that something tangible, to saylike something's, something's
wrong, like this is it Like?
Now I know what to do?
And in the discussion she pullsmy blood work out after she
(08:23):
makes this snide remark and shegoes oh, you're anemic and I was
like you know, are you going tosit there and point a finger at
me and punish me and make mefeel bad for pushing to have
blood work done when you did infact find something and now I
can deal with it?
So that happens so much and I'mwell enough informed to know
like to push back on certainareas, but a lot of people
(08:45):
aren't.
And it's very frustrating tohear like women in my family
saying like oh yeah, I went tothe doctor and he just said this
.
So I went home and I just tookthe medicine and I'm like but
you didn't ask, you know X, yand Z, and they're like well, no
, the doctor said it, so it's,you know it's.
That whole scenario is veryfrustrating.
It can be very frustrating, Ithink, across the board.
So I think it's really trulyamazing that you're doing this
(09:08):
service, really bored from whatyou experience.
So I think it's stage fourendometriosis, and obviously I
have endometriosis too, so I dounderstand that element of it.
So, outside of your diagnosisand developing Herce prior to
that, I know that you I thinkyou were in corporate, you were
in sales and you had noted thatyou had experienced pretty
(09:33):
severe burnout.
I talked about it in your bio.
Do you think, because of theposition that you were in, you
were less likely to raise a handand say like I feel bad, I
don't feel well and I need toget help?
You know, like I feel like it'salmost all intertwined and I
wanted to get your thoughts onthat.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Absolutely.
I think there's a lot that wetake on as women from a
burdensome standpoint.
I really pushed through when Iwas suffering, not just, you
know, physically, but mentally.
I was struggling really a lotwith burnout, and I was always
the person to say yes to takingon that extra project, taking on
(10:13):
that extra team, when my teamended up kind of becoming the
team that, when no one elsecould figure out how to do
something or no one else wantedto do something, we ended up,
you know, kind of taking that on, so we figured it out.
I'm a very solutions orientedperson, took on sort of a lot of
wonderful digitaltransformation project that was
nowhere within the scope of myrole, but really enjoyed that
(10:36):
process and sort of the more Itook on though, I felt fulfilled
in the skills that I waslearning, in how I was growing
in my career.
Of course, the more you take on, the more your plate gets full
and eventually you can'tactually handle more on your
plate and it's going to overflow.
There was a time where I hadgone through multiple
(10:58):
miscarriages my dog passed away,my grandmother passed away four
months in a row.
My husband literally called me.
I was about to get on stage atthis huge company meeting, in
this merger acquisition scenariothat had happened.
It was the first time all ofthe teams were together.
He calls me at five minutes dueon stage and says we need to
(11:20):
make a decision about the dog.
We need to either put her downor have a surgery.
Like it was a terriblesituation and I told him I can't
make this decision right now.
I'm going on stage in fiveminutes, I'm up the phone, did
my thing, didn't tell anybodyand then called him after to
make this decision.
Like it's just crazy, thethings that we need to do to
(11:42):
push forward Right, the thingsthat we need to do to push
forward right.
It was really incredibly likestressful, dealing with all of
these things, on top of beingthat top performer at work, on
top of keeping the home togetherright, on top of being the
friend and the family member.
It was I don't even know how Idid it and how I coped and when
(12:05):
I got pregnant with my daughter.
So I had that four month ofcrap and then, finally, that
fifth month, she was conceivedand I was like, oh my God, this
is what I need, this is going towork, this is going to be great
and I had a wonderful pregnancy.
Towards sort of that end, Iknew I needed to start to think
(12:27):
about what change might looklike in my life.
I really wanted to have time tospend with her and I didn't
want to be this burnt out shellof a person because I didn't
think I would be able to show upas her mom the right way, right
.
So, yeah, that's part of what Iwould say inspired the
(12:47):
entrepreneurial journey as wellJust trying to build something
that will make the world abetter place, not just for
myself, for my daughter, for myfriends, for my family.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
You know, I really I like what you said there
self-reflection around you had apause moment.
You went through all thesemonths of, like, really bad
things and things just reallytraumatic, and going through all
that emotion and emotions andthen you finally conceive and,
especially in your scenario, ifyou had difficulty conceiving
and keeping the pregnancy, thatmust have been such a major
(13:21):
moment for you to be like holdon, I'm getting this blessing.
I need to step back and I needto really take care of this
beautiful blessing because it islike a miracle when things like
that happen.
It really is, and it's almost amiracle when it came into play.
You have all these losses andthen you have this win here.
That's like I'm going to bethis light in your life now,
(13:42):
which is such a beautiful, sucha beautiful thing.
I reflect a lot on when I waspregnant with my kids and when
they were little.
I remember, in the moment,feeling jealous of other women
who were having pregnancies andhaving their babies and where
they were solely focused ontheir baby and being in the
(14:02):
moment and enjoying all thelittle milestones, because I
know I did it to myself, sothere is really no one to blame
but me, but I felt very muchlike I rushed through the entire
thing, like I was always tryingto get to the next thing.
What's the next thing, what'sthe next thing that I have to do
?
Once I get that done, then I'llbe able to relax.
And that time never came.
(14:23):
And now, like I look back, myhusband will get like, not mad
at me, but he's like, please,jenny, don't do this.
Tonight We'll all start lookingat videos and I'm like, oh, do
you remember?
And they were this small, and Idon't remember I was in such a
rush.
And my kids my son was born in2016.
I had twins in 2017.
So, from 2017 on, it was.
(14:46):
It was very much a whirlwindand I remember watching, you
know, my family members thatwere having babies and they were
so, like you know, excitedabout the baby and excited about
the moment, and I was justtrying to survive.
It felt like the entire time.
So I'm I want to acknowledgewhat you did there, because,
prior to her coming, you're likeI'm going to be ready for that,
(15:07):
I'm going to be emotionallyprepared and I'm going to pull
this burnout out, because thatwas.
The other element as well thatI'll share is that, when they
were infants.
I felt like I had to doubletime it.
Like that's like the normalcorporate woman response you
have a child and you feel likeyou have to apologize for having
a child.
Absolutely, you must have seenthat all the like you have to
(15:27):
apologize for having a child.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Absolutely no-transcript.
Yeah, absolutely.
There is a definite feeling ofgratitude the entire time.
I'm very fortunate to have hada very, very easy pregnancy.
I loved being pregnant, it wasgreat.
I did have a little bit of that.
You know, everyone goes throughthat period of matrescence and
trying to figure out who thisnew person is, not just the baby
(15:52):
, but yourself.
Right, and it wasn't smoothsailing by any means it never is
, especially with a newborn.
And I really struggled with myidentity as a person.
Having been that overachiever,I was so attached to my identity
, being where I was in my careerand how I was moving up in my
career, and now all of a suddenit felt like that no longer
(16:13):
mattered, like this mattered somuch more.
But I didn't know how to be muchlike yourself, like kind of
chasing the next thing wasn't mychallenge, it was more figuring
out how to be a mom and feelconfident as a mom.
It was the confidence piecethat was lacking for many, many
months, I would say until abouteight months along.
(16:35):
That was when I started to feellike okay, I think I've kind of
got the hang of this and now,at a year and a half, like we're
smooth sailing, I feel likeright, yes, exactly, but the
entire time, though, things didget really, really hard.
I was always just so grateful tobe there in the first place
because of that experience thatI'd had, and so it was never
(16:58):
there was never an issue withwith managing through.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Did you?
I'm curious about this because Iwas just reading something
about this for, for women whohave trouble conceiving, that
quite often after after thebirth, quite often after after
the birth, um, they do havepostpartum.
(17:21):
And then it's almost even worsebecause people look at them and
are like you tried so hard toget pregnant.
What are you talking about?
Like, like they all like, and Ihave to.
Part of the reason why my headgoes here is because I had that
exact reaction.
Many, many years ago, before Ihad kids, before I met my
husband, a friend had had a babyand she explains to me like she
was going through postpartum.
I had no idea about what thisreally entailed and I remember
(17:46):
in my head thinking to myselflike oh, you're just looking for
attention.
And now I feel like sick, evensaying admitting that, because
I'm like Holy Holy garbage, holyholy garbage, like I.
I, when I was a person who didthis, like I was a person who
permeated the problem, so I wascurious if you experienced
anything like that after you hadyour daughter absolutely.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I struggled with severe postpartum anxiety and, I
think, part of that identitycrisis, coupled with lack of
sleep.
We had a lot of feeding issuestoo.
My daughter hardly slept, Ithink, because we figured out
later on she's probably hungryall the time.
So there was a lot going on.
Like I said, it was not smoothsailing and holding on to that
(18:29):
thread of like just thatgratitude is really what got me
through.
So I am very lucky to have awonderful support system, right
like I.
I have not done this by myself.
I have a supportive husband, mymom, my in-laws, my dad people
are all around and they're very,very helpful.
So, um, I don't know what Iwould have done if I didn't have
(18:52):
their support and I did aroundthat eight month mark.
You know, things might havegotten easier because that was
when I started to go on an emptyor an SSRI, like for anxiety,
right, so it took.
That was a massive hurdle for me.
I was really for no reasonopposed to being on medication.
If any of my friends would haveasked me or you know needed, I
(19:14):
never would have judged them forit.
I would have said you need todo what you need to do.
There's no issue with that, butfor myself I had such, it was
such a roadblock.
I don't I can't tell you why,but I finally sort of realized I
needed to do somethingdifferent and the therapy wasn't
working.
And all of the meditation andall of the diet change and all
(19:35):
it like it was I've tried asmuch as I possibly could.
So when I decided to make thatchange and I decided to try the
medication, all of a sudden, youknow, a couple of weeks along,
when you're going on that, wow,I don't have all of these
nagging thoughts in the back ofmy mind all the time.
Wow, I can take a minute tobreathe.
Wow, I can enjoy my day with mybaby.
(19:58):
It's not so stressful.
And so that was also, I think,a bit of a life changer in I had
been so hard on myself and Ididn't give myself the support
that I needed to get through notjust this hard time.
I probably should have, like,looked at this many years ago,
(20:18):
dealing with all of the griefand all that, right, like.
So I feel now a lot moregracious.
I give myself more grace, right, I feel like, wow, whatever you
need to make yourself feel welland feel whole, do it right,
right, like why do we, why don'twe do this to ourselves?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
You know, said like you weren't.
You were like I don't know whyI didn't want to go on medicine,
even though you would have beensupportive of someone else.
I don't know why I didn't wantto do it.
You know, I've I've had thatscenario like many, many times
over and I've had to have to tapinto it and go for medication
in times when it was like really, really bad.
(21:02):
And the most recent time waslast year.
I was just bottoming out, Iwould, my anxiety was through
the roof, like just to the pointwhere it was unbearable and I
just couldn't.
I just couldn't be myself, Icould not function as a mom and
every I was.
I felt so badly for my kidsbecause my anxiety was so awful
that I would be screaming atthem and it was really hurting
me because, like I don't wantthem to grow up and be like, oh
(21:26):
yeah, mom was nuts, she wasalways screaming at us and, and
so that's always what pushed meto it.
But there, I think there's likethere's a lot of stigma in that
and people are like I.
You know, I don't want to feellike a failure, I don't want to
feel like I need help, I think Ican do this myself.
But I took the same path as you.
Like I tried vitamins.
You know, meditation is a bigdeal for me, like that hands
down, like I love it, but likein that moment when things were
(22:01):
so bad, I was like I'm going tohave to do it.
It is what it is and thankfullyI didn't have to be on it for
very long because I was able tochange the situation that was
causing the stress, but you knowin that moment it helped it
basically saved me.
Yeah, so you go through thisperiod of time.
You know you have thegaslighting with the
endometriosis.
Then you also, I'm sure, whenyou're pregnant there's also.
There's also conversations thathappen when you're pregnant and
there's scenarios that happeneven when you're in the hospital
giving birth.
That I know me personally.
(22:22):
There was some situations when Iwas in the hospital.
I had two C-sections, and thefirst one it was fine and I was
okay.
But the second one there wasvery distinct moments of I feel
like I'm being mishandled, Ifeel like no one's listening to
me and I feel like what I'msaying?
One nurse scoffed at me.
She did one of those and I waslike I'm trying to get two
(22:45):
people out of my body.
Just cut me some slack.
So self-advocacy is a hugetopic for me and, I know, for
you, for someone who is beatingdown a door and they're feeling
like I'm not getting answers,like what does that look like
for you?
You know we have her say andwe'll be able to obviously tap
into that once it's fullydeveloped.
But you know what doesself-advocacy mean to you?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think self-advocacy is reallyabout making sure that you're
feeling confident and likeyou're in control in every
moment, right?
So when it comes to our health,there's a little bit of this
narrative that we tell ourselveswhere we put the onus on the
doctor to be in charge of ourcare, and as much as they are,
(23:31):
that's their job and we alsohave a part to play in that
scenario, and it is reallyimportant for us to be not only
in tune with our body and howwe're feeling.
We need to be able tocommunicate that effectively.
Yes, the expectation should bethat on the receiving end, we
are respected, right.
But it needs to sort of startwith the patient, right.
(23:55):
So, patient first.
I'm really sorry to hear thatyou went through that experience
, and giving birth is never aneasy situation.
It's always high stress foreverybody who's involved and I
think we don't give women thecredit that they deserve in,
like you said, when you'rebringing life into the world,
that's a pretty big deal, it'svery strenuous, it is a
(24:18):
potentially life or deathsituation, and we need to make
sure that we're very respectfulof what the mother needs in the
moment, right.
Sometimes that is more on theemotional support side than
anything right.
I would say that there's manyscenarios where you know, like
(24:43):
her say, can help only so muchin a moment where you're needing
to make a critical decision,right, but throughout the
appointment schedule, that wouldcertainly be where we could
support.
So if we come to ourappointments really prepared and
what I mean by prepared isyou're not going to sit down and
tell your doctor I've been kindof tired lately.
You're going to keep a detailedlog of how you've been feeling
over time and when you sit downwith them, you're going to tell
(25:05):
them the Coles notes of that.
You only have a handful ofminutes in your appointment.
They probably don't have timeto go through your entire, you
know.
But what you can say is I'vebeen tracking my symptoms and
I've noticed that over the pastfew months I've been moderately
to extremely fatigued more oftenthan not, like 90% of the time.
(25:26):
How does this impact my life?
I can't get out of bed in themorning or I'm going to bed at 7
pm when everybody else is goingat 9 or 10 or 11, right, I like
.
What is the impact on your life?
How severe?
What's the impact on your lifeFrom there if you are hoping for
(25:47):
an outcome from thatappointment.
Communicating that to yourdoctor is very helpful.
I would like to work out adiagnosis.
I would like a treatment planto help with my symptoms, right?
Because, again, as much as thedoctor, you know they have their
protocol they need to gothrough.
They're going to try to, basedon your symptoms, sum up what
they're thinking, maybeprescribe you additional
(26:09):
diagnostics or treatment,depending on where you're at in.
You know they're seeinghundreds of people a day.
You've been experiencing thisfor some time.
You can tell them I'm hoping toget a treatment for my symptoms
.
I want to dig into this further.
What else can we do to sort offigure out what's going on?
Right?
Making sure that there'salignment is really important,
and I think sometimes we setourselves up for a little bit of
(26:31):
disappointment because we'renot going in there asking for
what we want.
We're kind of expecting them tobe a mind reader, and that's
not fair, right?
I haven't met any doctor orheard of a doctor who's gotten
into practicing medicine not tohelp people, right?
They're there to help you.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
You know, coming prepared is something that I
think you know, and I'm faultyof this too were exactly what
you just said.
I don't go into the detail.
So the first and there's been,so there was a few different
appointments that led up toeventually my OB cracking and
just being like I'm just goingto let you get your blood work
done and then we'll just go fromthere.
But I also, you know, hadconversations with my primary
(27:10):
care physician at the same time.
Like I was kind of hit in bothbecause I'm like I don't know
what's going on.
But, to your point, I didn't gointo those initial appointments
with a very specific list.
I said I've been very fatiguedlately and I did say I was like
it feels like my body's, likeI'm dragging a dead body around.
That's what it felt like to me.
And I was like I you know I'mhaving really bad brain fog.
(27:33):
I can't function Taking naps atlike two o'clock in the
afternoon.
Like that's not me, Like that,none of this is me.
I'm not the person to do that.
I'm not the person to like laydown I almost took a nap today,
but it's an entirely differentscenario Like yeah, I'm, but I'm
truly not the person that'salways like oh, like I'm almost
always doing something.
So that to me was like a bigred flag.
(27:54):
But the first time I said it tothe doctor they're like oh well
, you know, you're getting older.
And I was like, all right, likeno, but I think this is
something they're like well,let's wait and see at your next
appointment.
And the wait and see part isalways really frustrating to me.
So I'm like I get it, cause Ido understand protocols, like my
line of work, like I get allthat.
(28:15):
But it's just incrediblyfrustrating from, like, the
patient perspective.
Our health care system ingeneral is very complex in terms
in in us being able to get care.
The complexities and the hoopjumping I think is such a
barrier because, like myself,for example, I had this whole
big thing where I was tryingreally hard to get answers on
(28:36):
the fatigue and on the pain,eventually was able to figure
out the fatigue mostly, and Ican.
I've been cycle thinking, soI'm keeping an eye on my cycle
to say I'm like, oh, this makessense of fatigue this week, that
week, whatever.
So a lot of it is me figuringit out and lately talking to
doctors about it because I feltlike I wasn't really getting
really direct feedback andguidance.
(28:56):
So I've gotten some sense oflike I understand my body and my
hormones and like what I'mgoing through but on a larger
scale, like a more major issue.
If you're younger, you know, orif you're having like actual
major problems and you go to thedoctor and they're just like,
well, let's wait and see whathappens, you're going to end up,
you're not going to go andyou're going to miss
appointments and then yourhealth is at risk because of
(29:18):
this.
So I'm glad that you are usingwhat you went through to really
address something that's apretty large barrier for women
all over the place.
That's, it's a pretty big deal.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Absolutely, and I really hope the listeners are
sort of hearing your story ofbeing persistent, because that
is a part of it.
I'm not going to say that hersay is the be all and end all
and it's going to get you allyour answers, because it does
depend on the practitioner.
And you are allowed to push.
You are allowed to ask for asecond opinion.
You're allowed to ask foradditional diagnostics.
(29:52):
You're allowed to disagree.
You're allowed to disagree withyour treatment plan.
Like all of these things, wetend to sort of shrink in those
moments and just take what theysay at face value, even when we
don't agree with it.
And when it comes to yourhealth, you are the only person
who knows yourself and how youfeel.
You're the only person whounderstands your actual baseline
(30:14):
.
And just because somethingdoesn't come up on the labs that
were run doesn't mean theymight not come up on a different
panel, or it doesn't mean thatit's related to something to do
that with a blood work right,like endometriosis doesn't show
up on blood work, right.
So I think there's, there's.
You want to understand thatthere's validity in your feeling
(30:36):
and you're allowed to push.
You're allowed to ask.
Have as many appointments asyou need until you get answers,
and don't take no for an answerif you know that there's
something going on.
There are too many women whohave had worse outcomes because
they're not listening either totheir bodies or they're not
pushing back when theyunfortunately need to, and
(30:58):
there's no reason in 2025 thatwe should be in this position.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, honestly, 100%.
You know, when I had myendometriosis diagnosis well one
, I didn't realize what I wasbeing diagnosed with.
There's that.
But it was by mistake, becausethey thought my uterus, my
abdominal pain, was somethingelse and they went in to get
that something else and itturned out it was endometriosis
the entire time.
So it's unless you push, you'rereally, really not going to get
(31:25):
an answer.
And I've said that, you know,on many, many episodes like you
really have to be your ownadvocate.
And in the position of a womanwho has children, you also are
your kids advocates too.
So it's time to really pony up,like, as hard as you would
fight for your child, you haveto fight for yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
And honestly, even saying it out loud, like I also
want to admit, I quite oftendidn't fight for myself, until
like recently, because me beinga priority wasn't a big deal.
So it's taken me many, manyyears to get to a point where
I'm like I am a priority, I'mimportant here.
My husband will say to me andhe, because he pushes me more to
take care of myself than likeanybody else, and he's like you
(32:05):
don't understand, because hemakes this scenario he says
you're the ship.
If the ship goes down, we'reall going down with you.
You have to take care ofyourself.
You have to step back and helpyourself out.
At my age I'm in my early 40she's like you know, I need to
start building muscle mass, Ineed to think about bone density
, like there's all these otherthings that like come into play
(32:26):
into your 40s and into your 50sthat you have to be mindful of,
because you don't get younger.
Your body starts to.
Everything that you did in your20s starts to come out in your
40s and then you have to dealwith it.
I had a table dropped on myfoot in my early 50s and I just
kept going because my kids werelittle and I had to get them to
daycare, and I had to get towork, and I had all these things
(32:47):
, and I apparently have nervedamage in my foot and I can't
feel part of my foot, but Inever got it taken care of.
So now, in my forties though,I'm having problems now with my
foot because I did this thingand I never acknowledged it.
So I want to just share thatfor a minute, because I was very
much a person that was like oh,it'll be fine, I'll heal, it'll
be okay, and I didn't payattention.
(33:09):
And now there's things that arehappening that I'm like oh my
God, I know why this ishappening.
I should have gotten helpsooner.
I should have done something.
So I do want to take a beat totell the listeners, like please
be mindful of your health.
And the sooner that you starttaking care of your body and
paying attention to what's goingon, the more it will be better
for you later on.
That's an old person thing tosay, but it's so true.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
It's very true.
Yeah, absolutely, and I thinkthere's so much that, as women,
we tend to push off.
We're the caregivers.
We have so much on our plate,no matter who you are right,
there's a lot, and you do reallyneed to put yourself first
because, yeah, you are the ship.
So I like that analogy.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
He says that to me all the time he's like you need
to do it.
I'm like, all right, take iteasy.
So one more thing I have foryou that I'd like you to talk
about a little bit.
Being the position that you arein, you're developing this.
It's an app, right Per se.
It's going to be an app.
All right, me enough, Okay.
So you're developing this appfor women to download that we
can use to help us advocate forourselves.
That's, that's like a big dealto me in itself.
(34:13):
You had this high poweredposition that caused this
tremendous burnout.
How, how have you changed howyou're showing up as an
entrepreneur in your workplaceand leading almost by example,
because you're going to beleading through your daughter
and showing her like?
How have you shifted as aperson based on all these
experiences that you have?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I am still very much a highcaliber person.
I must say I do still tend totake maybe too much on, but I am
enjoying every minute ofeverything I'm doing and I think
I do need to constantly remindmyself to take that step back
(34:54):
and spend the time with mydaughter while she's young, so
that I enjoy the moment that Iget out with my husband and we
have a social life right, like Ido sometimes need to.
But a lot of that comes fromjust scheduling it in the
calendar and sticking by theschedule.
If I'm taking meetings within acertain amount of time, don't
(35:14):
budge on that.
Don't add a few because, yeah,I did that by accident.
One week ended up with a weekfull of meetings all over again
and they didn't all need to getdone that week.
I just overextended myselfagain.
So I'm not perfect in taking myown advice, but I am trying.
I really think my daughter hasgrounded me a lot in like that
(35:37):
time is so short.
My time with her right at thestages that she goes through as
she grows, that time is so short.
My time here as an entrepreneurand a mom with a young baby
like this is all.
It's very temporary and that's.
It's great when you're lookingat the things that maybe you
(35:57):
don't really want to deal with.
That's temporary too, right?
When I was dealing with thenewborn stage, I knew that that
was temporary and that's how Igot through it, right.
But you really want to hold onto those moments that are
temporary and fleeting.
And, yeah, I think putting theperspective of, like, enjoying
your time while you're herebecause you don't even know how
(36:19):
long you've got here right,that's really what helps me,
helps me keep balance.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I like that because you're you're rewiring yourself
basically.
Yeah, I like that becauseyou're rewiring yourself
basically.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
To show up differently and you're
recognizing like in this moment,I have to be present in this
moment and you will falter.
I have missteps all the time.
I was just explaining to one ofthe other guests this weekend
that I basically revampedeverything that I do with the
podcast to make it fit betterinto my life so that it wasn't,
(36:52):
you know, like I was explainingto you how I used to overextend
myself quite a bit and I'm likeI don't want to do that.
I want to maintain the podcastand make it fit into my life,
not vice versa, like I'm nottrying to fit into the podcast.
So it takes a lot of practiceand you will falter, but like
that's part of the process oflike standing back up and saying
you know what.
No, like I'm going to do thisthe way it's supposed to be done
and how I want to be doing it.
(37:13):
I have moments all the timewhere I'm like I have to take a
step back.
I took a hiatus from thepodcast earlier this year for
like six weeks.
Like there's sometimes thingsyou have to do to reset.
So I want to acknowledge thatfor you, even if you're not
acknowledging it for yourselfhow important it is that you're
doing that right now and howmuch of an impact that's going
to have on your daughter's lifethat you're actually showing up
(37:35):
and being present.
That's such a big deal.
I have to say I'm super excitedabout this app, like I really
truly am.
This is such a big deal andit's such a huge resource for
women.
So thank you for putting thetime and effort there to develop
that.
Listeners, I'm going to linkright now on screen Rebecca's
website If you want to go andcheck it out.
(37:56):
There's lots of resources onhere testimonials You're able to
reach out directly.
You can work with Rebecca.
If you're looking for a speaker.
She's available for that.
Rebecca, anything you want tosay about it, I'm like talking
on your behalf on your website.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah.
So my personal website there.
So I am sort of doing manyspeaking engagements and all
that.
But outside of that, I'd loveto sort of just mention her say
we're launching our public betashortly, so it's coming within
the next couple of weeks.
We did a private beta for thepast few and we're very excited
(38:29):
to be published on the App Storeand the Google Play Store soon.
So please go on our website.
You can find that through mypersonal website or wwwherseyca,
you can sign up for ourwaitlist so you're the first to
know when it's ready, I'm goingto listeners.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I'll link directly to the Hersey website in the
description of the episode soyou can check that out, and then
, once it's released, I'm goingto ask Rebecca to ping me so
that I can also push it to youguys on my socials as well, just
in case.
Rebecca, thank you so much forjoining me today.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Thanks so much, and listeners.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Thank you so much for hanging out with us today.
We will catch you on the nextone.
Take care.
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