October 9, 2025 • 11 mins
We tell a raw, clear story about early perimenopause, the “dark cloud” weeks that shook our home, and the decision to push for medical help after lifestyle changes weren’t enough. We share how cycle tracking, food choices, and advocacy led to a progesterone-only plan and a commitment to speak up.
• early signs and confusion with anemia
• food triggers, whole foods, and energy stability
• cycle tracking to predict mood shifts
• the breaking-point weekend and recovery
• deciding not to accept only 23 good days
• advocating at the appointment and pressing for care
• starting SLYND (progesterone-only) and supportive steps
• naming hard symptoms: dryness, libido changes, nausea
• inviting partners and kids into the plan
• ending stigma and refusing silent suffering
Make time, prioritize. I will continue to let you know how things are going on my side. I would love for you guys to be with me on this part of the journey because it is something that is so poorly documented and is just not talked about enough.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
This is Still Roses Podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope you are all having agreat week.
Um, I had some pretty excitingnews to share with you guys.
Um, so I I think I've beensharing with you sort of like
the whole perimenopause journey,right, that I've been on and
like how when symptoms startedand like kind of where I'm at.
(00:22):
And I can't remember if I talkedabout these other pieces before,
but I'm gonna just reiterate forthe sake of like giving you the
full background if you'relistening to for the first time
to this.
So I have started to feel what Isuspect was perimenopause
symptoms, probably about 39,right?
I don't have a lot of patience.
I'm only 41 at this point, but Idon't have a lot of patience.
And getting symptoms that Icouldn't really predict and
(00:45):
having things happen that weretotally out of my control is not
an energy that I really everlean into, ever.
So I've done a lot of, I mean,complaining and talking about
it.
But beyond complaining andtalking about it, I also really
wanted to seek out help.
Now, for the most part, I wastrying pretty much every
possible over-the-countermedicine that I could find.
(01:07):
In the in the trajectory of allthis and through the road of
like figuring out theperimenopause stuff, I also
happened to find out that I wasanemic.
So once I got the anemiasemi-under control, I started
focusing more on likeperimenopause because the anemia
symptoms, this is the joy ofbeing a woman.
Anemia symptoms, the fatigue andlike low energy and all that is
(01:28):
also perimenopause symptoms.
And thus it was confusing forme.
Anemia is under control.
I'm making sure that I'm eatingreally clean as much as I can,
low starch as much as I can.
Well, not a ton of starchycarbs.
Um, I think the most carbs thatI consume at this point are
potatoes.
The reason why I'm talking aboutdiet in relation to
perimenopause is actuallybecause there are some
(01:49):
significant through lines towhat you're consuming in your
body, and not justperimenopause, but in general,
as you get older, the thingsyou're consuming in your body
start to build up.
And if you're not having a wholefood healthy diet, predominant
amount of the time, then yourbody will start to react.
And that's where like a lot oflike waking and just, you know,
(02:11):
joint pain and heart problemsand liver problems, stomach
issues.
I mean, if you really go downthe rabbit hole of research of
like what our current foods doto us today, it's horrible.
Like I will never eat a plate ofpasta ever, like ever.
I just won't do it.
I'll eat gluten-free pasta forsure, and I'll eat protein pasta
that has a little bit of thelike wheat semolina in it, but I
(02:35):
won't be able to do full pastaever.
Okay.
Interruptions.
What am I gonna do?
Again, like the reason for thatbeing is because I don't like
how I feel after I eat certainfoods.
My body doesn't like it, andthus I won't do it to myself.
Now, again, when I was younger,like I didn't care and I eat
whatever, but now that I'm olderbecause of the paramenopause,
I'm incredibly mindful.
So there's that thing to know.
(02:57):
Now, the other part of this thatI started to get really like
nervous about was the um themental health part when you go
through menopause.
Now, everyone's different.
Some people remember significantshifts, others don't remember
anything.
Again, I'm still in the very,very early stages of all of
this.
But again, little patients thatI have, I can't wait for it to
(03:18):
become full force and then beliving through pretty much a
nightmare.
So my goal here was to get somerelief because it was getting,
it was freaking me out.
To be per honestly, lack of abetter term, it was really
freaking me out.
So, what was starting to happenwas I was becoming really
careful about sinking my cycles.
I still get my period everysingle month, right?
(03:38):
So every month I startedlooking.
Okay, this week I'm in thisphase of my cycle, the luteal
phase or the follicular phase orwhatever.
So I'm going through each phaseof my cycle, making sure I'm
paying attention.
How am I feeling in this moment?
What am I supposed to befeeling?
Am I matching feelings to whatI'm supposed to be feeling
hormonally?
And then going from there.
So I was tracking it.
And I think I've talked to youguys before about oh, I would
(04:00):
have these dark cloud weekswhere it was really, I was
struggling and I was reallysnapping at the kids and I was
crying all the time.
And it got like to the pointwhere I was just like, all
right, I know what these daysare coming.
So part of my resolve to to findsolution and peace for myself
was like I was telling my familyabout it, including the kids,
making sure they understood,like, this isn't mommy.
Like mommy's going throughsomething and this is kind of
(04:23):
what it is.
I sort of semi-explained it tothem.
And, you know, that way theyknew like if they saw mommy
really getting upset orfrustrated or getting really
angry really fast, it's notreally mommy because I don't
want them to grow up being likemommy's a maniac because you
know she ran out of spaghettiand started screaming about it,
which, you know, if you guys aregoing through this too, you
(04:43):
know, is kind of likely.
So I didn't want to have to dealwith the mood swings.
And then last month was verydifficult.
I had two really, really baddays.
Like very bad.
For me to say this and say thisout loud.
If you knew me personally, youwould know.
If I'm saying it was really bad,it was it was literally like
life-wrenching for my body.
(05:05):
It was bad.
So the sadness dark cloudstarted.
I think it was a Saturday,really light, but it was just
there.
And I was really fighting, likementally fighting to keep it
away.
And then, cause I self-talk, I'mlike, Jenny, you know, this
isn't you.
Keep your head up, go get somesunshine on your face.
You can do this, it'd be handlethis.
And then came Sunday.
(05:25):
And I was like, 'cause this itwas just draining me.
It was dragging me.
And you know, I just didn't feellike myself.
And I've had depression andanxiety before.
I know how deep and scary thatgoes.
And this is how this felt.
Now, logically, I have theability to step out of my body
and think to myself, Jenny,like, you know, this isn't you,
(05:46):
and this isn't really happeningto you right now because this is
your hormones.
There's a shift.
You have to wait for the shiftto end, and then you'll feel
like yourself again.
So I talked myself through it onSunday.
Monday morning comes and I'm awreck.
I'm sobbing at five o'clock inthe morning, trying to get a
hold of myself, freak the hellout of my husband, because for
him to see me fall is probablythe most frightening thing
(06:09):
because I never fall.
Not like that.
Not like that.
So it's scary to see from theother side.
And he didn't even really knowwhat it was.
He didn't understand what wasgoing on.
He thought I was just overoverwhelmed because that
happens.
Sometimes that happens, and hedoes have to like help calm me
down a little bit because I doget overwhelmed.
I have a lot of plate on myplate.
I have a lot of things that I'mworking towards and whatnot.
(06:30):
But this was different.
And I tried to explain it tohim, but it was a little beyond
what his scope of understandingwould be for that.
But he tried his best to be likesupportive and help me out just
to get me through the morning.
By midday, I had shaken a lot ofit off and I was okay.
Right at the end of the day, Ihad shaken almost entirely off.
By Tuesday, I was fine.
(06:50):
But then I started to think tomyself, well, is that it for
this month?
This month it was really tough.
Is it gonna be tough next month?
How am I supposed to prepare forthis?
Do I really want to be walkingaround like waiting for a time
bomb to go off in my bodybecause my hormones are gonna
shift and it's gonna happenevery month?
And what if next month islonger?
You know, what if it's moredays?
(07:11):
Like, I don't want to walkaround not knowing and I don't
want to walk around like that,and I don't want to live my life
like that.
And I started, I've done this alot over the past year, even
where I think about the amountof days in the month, it's 30
days in the month, and I'mfeeling crappy for seven days
out of the month, let's call it,right?
That's only 23 days that I'mfeeling okay.
(07:31):
That's not a lot.
And why am I okay to acceptthat?
I'm not okay accepting that.
I will not accept 23 days amonth that I feel good.
Like that sucks.
That's shitty.
And on the flip, in my mind, Ialways say to myself, if I was a
man, would I accept this?
Would I just lay down and belike, ah, I'm like crapped, you
know, 25% of the month?
Absolutely friggin' not.
I'm not gonna accept that shit.
So why should I accept thatshit?
(07:52):
Like, I have a lot of things todo.
I'm very busy.
I don't want to accept thatseven days out of the month, I'm
gonna be depressed, or I'm gonnahave anxiety so bad that I can't
like, I can't handle anything,or I don't want to feel horrible
that many days in the month.
So I bit the bullet.
I went to the doctor and I said,this is what's happening.
I want to talk to somebody abouthormone um uh hormone
(08:12):
replacement therapy.
Now, I'm only 41.
HRT is probably indicated for aslightly older crowd.
I'm gonna Google it while I'mreporting.
Yeah, it's 45 to 55 years old.
I'm fairly I'm on the young,younger, younger end of the
spectrum.
Now, the nurse practitioner Iwas talking with, you know, she
comes in, she's like, you know,41, that's pretty young.
Why do you want to talk aboutthat now?
(08:32):
And I was like, explain what wasgoing on out of the gate, the
initial initial feedback.
Well, have you tried to talk tosomebody about this?
And I was like, I'm talking toyou right now.
She said, No, no, no, have youtalked to a professional like a
therapist?
And I was like, I don't need atherapist.
I'm all set.
What I need is some medication.
And so she kind of circledaround again and was like, you
know, are you sure like this iswhat it is?
And I was like, look, I'm like,I exactly how I explained it to
(08:55):
you all.
I said, I tracked my cycle.
I know this is what's going on,I know it happens every month
around this time, know what itis.
I can't do this anymore.
You have to put me on something.
It took three tries and oneappointment to get the NP to
agree.
Now she's very kind and she wasvery, she helped me, she did
eventually like help me get whatI wanted.
She in four, I asked questions,we had exchanged.
(09:17):
It was definitely a shareddecision-making moment.
However, I had to press threetimes to be able to get a
prescription.
I am not on HRT because I am onthe younger end of the spectrum.
So they did give me a productcalled SLIND.
It's S-L Y-N-D, in case anybodyis interested in it.
It is an estrogen-freeprogesterone-only birth control.
(09:39):
So it's really justprogesterone.
I've been, I think I'm about aweek now, a little less than a
week in.
I have very high hopes forwhat's going to be coming.
Because let me tell you, like, Ireally hope this works.
But I did want to share with youguys, it took three tries.
It took three bangs on the doorto get the nurse practitioner on
(10:00):
board with helping me out withsomething.
Now, that was just the mentalhealth part of it.
Other things that come alongwith perimenopause, menopause,
there was the mental healthelement to it.
I think nausea, you get vaginaldryness is a really big one.
A lack of low libido is reallybig for women who are going
through menopause,perimenopause.
All these things, like, yes,it's a little uncomfortable to
(10:21):
address it and bring it up.
But if you don't address it, ifyou don't raise your hand and
ask, like, hey, I've been tryingevery over-the-counter thing I
could get my hands on.
Nothing is working.
I need to go medical.
So that's what I did.
So I got my progesterone pill, Igot some cream.
I'm like working my way throughthis because at the end of the
day, are you willing to acceptonly feeling good a certain
(10:42):
amount of time a month?
Are you willing to accept thatyou're not in control of the
situation?
That's a big one for me, to beperfectly honest.
And I am not willing to acceptthat.
So I do want to encourage all ofyou to have the conversations
with your doctors.
Make time, prioritize.
I will continue to let you knowhow things are going on my side.
I would love for you guys to bewith me on this part of the
(11:04):
journey because it is somethingthat is so poorly documented and
is just not talked about enough.
And I think we really need tostart pulling the layers back
and making this commonconversation for people to talk
about.
It is not fair to us that wehave to suffer in silence.
And I'm not doing that anymore.
I appreciate being with me onthis episode.
I hope you found it informative,maybe slightly entertaining
(11:27):
because it's a little sad, s sadfunny, if you will.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
And I will catch you on the nextone.
Take care.
This is Still Roses Podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope you are all having agreat week.
Um, I had some pretty excitingnews to share with you guys.
Um, so I I think I've beensharing with you sort of like
the whole perimenopause journey,right, that I've been on and
like how when symptoms startedand like kind of where I'm at.
(00:22):
And I can't remember if I talkedabout these other pieces before,
but I'm gonna just reiterate forthe sake of like giving you the
full background if you'relistening to for the first time
to this.
So I have started to feel what Isuspect was perimenopause
symptoms, probably about 39,right?
I don't have a lot of patience.
I'm only 41 at this point, but Idon't have a lot of patience.
And getting symptoms that Icouldn't really predict and
(00:45):
having things happen that weretotally out of my control is not
an energy that I really everlean into, ever.
So I've done a lot of, I mean,complaining and talking about
it.
But beyond complaining andtalking about it, I also really
wanted to seek out help.
Now, for the most part, I wastrying pretty much every
possible over-the-countermedicine that I could find.
(01:07):
In the in the trajectory of allthis and through the road of
like figuring out theperimenopause stuff, I also
happened to find out that I wasanemic.
So once I got the anemiasemi-under control, I started
focusing more on likeperimenopause because the anemia
symptoms, this is the joy ofbeing a woman.
Anemia symptoms, the fatigue andlike low energy and all that is
(01:28):
also perimenopause symptoms.
And thus it was confusing forme.
Anemia is under control.
I'm making sure that I'm eatingreally clean as much as I can,
low starch as much as I can.
Well, not a ton of starchycarbs.
Um, I think the most carbs thatI consume at this point are
potatoes.
The reason why I'm talking aboutdiet in relation to
perimenopause is actuallybecause there are some
(01:49):
significant through lines towhat you're consuming in your
body, and not justperimenopause, but in general,
as you get older, the thingsyou're consuming in your body
start to build up.
And if you're not having a wholefood healthy diet, predominant
amount of the time, then yourbody will start to react.
And that's where like a lot oflike waking and just, you know,
(02:11):
joint pain and heart problemsand liver problems, stomach
issues.
I mean, if you really go downthe rabbit hole of research of
like what our current foods doto us today, it's horrible.
Like I will never eat a plate ofpasta ever, like ever.
I just won't do it.
I'll eat gluten-free pasta forsure, and I'll eat protein pasta
that has a little bit of thelike wheat semolina in it, but I
(02:35):
won't be able to do full pastaever.
Okay.
Interruptions.
What am I gonna do?
Again, like the reason for thatbeing is because I don't like
how I feel after I eat certainfoods.
My body doesn't like it, andthus I won't do it to myself.
Now, again, when I was younger,like I didn't care and I eat
whatever, but now that I'm olderbecause of the paramenopause,
I'm incredibly mindful.
So there's that thing to know.
(02:57):
Now, the other part of this thatI started to get really like
nervous about was the um themental health part when you go
through menopause.
Now, everyone's different.
Some people remember significantshifts, others don't remember
anything.
Again, I'm still in the very,very early stages of all of
this.
But again, little patients thatI have, I can't wait for it to
(03:18):
become full force and then beliving through pretty much a
nightmare.
So my goal here was to get somerelief because it was getting,
it was freaking me out.
To be per honestly, lack of abetter term, it was really
freaking me out.
So, what was starting to happenwas I was becoming really
careful about sinking my cycles.
I still get my period everysingle month, right?
(03:38):
So every month I startedlooking.
Okay, this week I'm in thisphase of my cycle, the luteal
phase or the follicular phase orwhatever.
So I'm going through each phaseof my cycle, making sure I'm
paying attention.
How am I feeling in this moment?
What am I supposed to befeeling?
Am I matching feelings to whatI'm supposed to be feeling
hormonally?
And then going from there.
So I was tracking it.
And I think I've talked to youguys before about oh, I would
(04:00):
have these dark cloud weekswhere it was really, I was
struggling and I was reallysnapping at the kids and I was
crying all the time.
And it got like to the pointwhere I was just like, all
right, I know what these daysare coming.
So part of my resolve to to findsolution and peace for myself
was like I was telling my familyabout it, including the kids,
making sure they understood,like, this isn't mommy.
Like mommy's going throughsomething and this is kind of
(04:23):
what it is.
I sort of semi-explained it tothem.
And, you know, that way theyknew like if they saw mommy
really getting upset orfrustrated or getting really
angry really fast, it's notreally mommy because I don't
want them to grow up being likemommy's a maniac because you
know she ran out of spaghettiand started screaming about it,
which, you know, if you guys aregoing through this too, you
(04:43):
know, is kind of likely.
So I didn't want to have to dealwith the mood swings.
And then last month was verydifficult.
I had two really, really baddays.
Like very bad.
For me to say this and say thisout loud.
If you knew me personally, youwould know.
If I'm saying it was really bad,it was it was literally like
life-wrenching for my body.
(05:05):
It was bad.
So the sadness dark cloudstarted.
I think it was a Saturday,really light, but it was just
there.
And I was really fighting, likementally fighting to keep it
away.
And then, cause I self-talk, I'mlike, Jenny, you know, this
isn't you.
Keep your head up, go get somesunshine on your face.
You can do this, it'd be handlethis.
And then came Sunday.
(05:25):
And I was like, 'cause this itwas just draining me.
It was dragging me.
And you know, I just didn't feellike myself.
And I've had depression andanxiety before.
I know how deep and scary thatgoes.
And this is how this felt.
Now, logically, I have theability to step out of my body
and think to myself, Jenny,like, you know, this isn't you,
(05:46):
and this isn't really happeningto you right now because this is
your hormones.
There's a shift.
You have to wait for the shiftto end, and then you'll feel
like yourself again.
So I talked myself through it onSunday.
Monday morning comes and I'm awreck.
I'm sobbing at five o'clock inthe morning, trying to get a
hold of myself, freak the hellout of my husband, because for
him to see me fall is probablythe most frightening thing
(06:09):
because I never fall.
Not like that.
Not like that.
So it's scary to see from theother side.
And he didn't even really knowwhat it was.
He didn't understand what wasgoing on.
He thought I was just overoverwhelmed because that
happens.
Sometimes that happens, and hedoes have to like help calm me
down a little bit because I doget overwhelmed.
I have a lot of plate on myplate.
I have a lot of things that I'mworking towards and whatnot.
(06:30):
But this was different.
And I tried to explain it tohim, but it was a little beyond
what his scope of understandingwould be for that.
But he tried his best to be likesupportive and help me out just
to get me through the morning.
By midday, I had shaken a lot ofit off and I was okay.
Right at the end of the day, Ihad shaken almost entirely off.
By Tuesday, I was fine.
(06:50):
But then I started to think tomyself, well, is that it for
this month?
This month it was really tough.
Is it gonna be tough next month?
How am I supposed to prepare forthis?
Do I really want to be walkingaround like waiting for a time
bomb to go off in my bodybecause my hormones are gonna
shift and it's gonna happenevery month?
And what if next month islonger?
You know, what if it's moredays?
(07:11):
Like, I don't want to walkaround not knowing and I don't
want to walk around like that,and I don't want to live my life
like that.
And I started, I've done this alot over the past year, even
where I think about the amountof days in the month, it's 30
days in the month, and I'mfeeling crappy for seven days
out of the month, let's call it,right?
That's only 23 days that I'mfeeling okay.
(07:31):
That's not a lot.
And why am I okay to acceptthat?
I'm not okay accepting that.
I will not accept 23 days amonth that I feel good.
Like that sucks.
That's shitty.
And on the flip, in my mind, Ialways say to myself, if I was a
man, would I accept this?
Would I just lay down and belike, ah, I'm like crapped, you
know, 25% of the month?
Absolutely friggin' not.
I'm not gonna accept that shit.
So why should I accept thatshit?
(07:52):
Like, I have a lot of things todo.
I'm very busy.
I don't want to accept thatseven days out of the month, I'm
gonna be depressed, or I'm gonnahave anxiety so bad that I can't
like, I can't handle anything,or I don't want to feel horrible
that many days in the month.
So I bit the bullet.
I went to the doctor and I said,this is what's happening.
I want to talk to somebody abouthormone um uh hormone
(08:12):
replacement therapy.
Now, I'm only 41.
HRT is probably indicated for aslightly older crowd.
I'm gonna Google it while I'mreporting.
Yeah, it's 45 to 55 years old.
I'm fairly I'm on the young,younger, younger end of the
spectrum.
Now, the nurse practitioner Iwas talking with, you know, she
comes in, she's like, you know,41, that's pretty young.
Why do you want to talk aboutthat now?
(08:32):
And I was like, explain what wasgoing on out of the gate, the
initial initial feedback.
Well, have you tried to talk tosomebody about this?
And I was like, I'm talking toyou right now.
She said, No, no, no, have youtalked to a professional like a
therapist?
And I was like, I don't need atherapist.
I'm all set.
What I need is some medication.
And so she kind of circledaround again and was like, you
know, are you sure like this iswhat it is?
And I was like, look, I'm like,I exactly how I explained it to
(08:55):
you all.
I said, I tracked my cycle.
I know this is what's going on,I know it happens every month
around this time, know what itis.
I can't do this anymore.
You have to put me on something.
It took three tries and oneappointment to get the NP to
agree.
Now she's very kind and she wasvery, she helped me, she did
eventually like help me get whatI wanted.
She in four, I asked questions,we had exchanged.
(09:17):
It was definitely a shareddecision-making moment.
However, I had to press threetimes to be able to get a
prescription.
I am not on HRT because I am onthe younger end of the spectrum.
So they did give me a productcalled SLIND.
It's S-L Y-N-D, in case anybodyis interested in it.
It is an estrogen-freeprogesterone-only birth control.
(09:39):
So it's really justprogesterone.
I've been, I think I'm about aweek now, a little less than a
week in.
I have very high hopes forwhat's going to be coming.
Because let me tell you, like, Ireally hope this works.
But I did want to share with youguys, it took three tries.
It took three bangs on the doorto get the nurse practitioner on
(10:00):
board with helping me out withsomething.
Now, that was just the mentalhealth part of it.
Other things that come alongwith perimenopause, menopause,
there was the mental healthelement to it.
I think nausea, you get vaginaldryness is a really big one.
A lack of low libido is reallybig for women who are going
through menopause,perimenopause.
All these things, like, yes,it's a little uncomfortable to
(10:21):
address it and bring it up.
But if you don't address it, ifyou don't raise your hand and
ask, like, hey, I've been tryingevery over-the-counter thing I
could get my hands on.
Nothing is working.
I need to go medical.
So that's what I did.
So I got my progesterone pill, Igot some cream.
I'm like working my way throughthis because at the end of the
day, are you willing to acceptonly feeling good a certain
(10:42):
amount of time a month?
Are you willing to accept thatyou're not in control of the
situation?
That's a big one for me, to beperfectly honest.
And I am not willing to acceptthat.
So I do want to encourage all ofyou to have the conversations
with your doctors.
Make time, prioritize.
I will continue to let you knowhow things are going on my side.
I would love for you guys to bewith me on this part of the
(11:04):
journey because it is somethingthat is so poorly documented and
is just not talked about enough.
And I think we really need tostart pulling the layers back
and making this commonconversation for people to talk
about.
It is not fair to us that wehave to suffer in silence.
And I'm not doing that anymore.
I appreciate being with me onthis episode.
I hope you found it informative,maybe slightly entertaining
(11:27):
because it's a little sad, s sadfunny, if you will.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
And I will catch you on the nextone.
Take care.
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