November 19, 2025 • 12 mins
Forget the myth that leadership means being the loudest voice in the room. We share a raw, funny, and practical journey from crash-and-burn manager to a leader who lifts, protects, and empowers. If you’ve ever had a boss who dumped everything on your desk at 5 p.m., you’ll recognize the old model—and you’ll get a blueprint for doing the opposite.
We start with early missteps: mistaking a title for freedom, delegating without accountability, and learning what happens when you disappear on your team. Then we pivot to a new model built on service with standards: learning your team’s jobs well enough to backfill them, defending quality under pressure, and turning skepticism into trust with consistent action. Expect concrete examples of covering vacations, safeguarding clients, and translating values into daily behaviors that actually scale.
Career growth is a thread throughout. We lay out a simple three-year cadence: master your role in year one, expand your impact in year two, and advocate for title and pay in year three. You’ll hear how to build receipts—revenue influenced, projects delivered, risk mitigated—and how to spot red flags like goalposts that move, gaslighting, or surveillance disguised as feedback. When the answer is always “not now,” we explain how to exit with clarity and momentum. This is a playbook for women navigating agencies and beyond, blending candid stories with tactics you can use tomorrow.
If you’re ready to lead without fear, grow on purpose, and find rooms that value your talent, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a push, and leave a review with the best leadership lesson you’ve learned. Your story might help someone else step up.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello everyone, this is Steele Roses Podcast.
This podcast crew is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
And I hope you're all having awonderful week so far.
Thank you for checking in withme today.
Today I want to talk a littlebit about something that I've
talked about before, but I wantto revisit it as a topic because
I do think it's prettyimportant.
And that is what it is.
What is it to be a leader?
Now, this is something that Iknow professionally applies, but
(00:22):
I do think personally it appliesas well.
Because when you're astay-at-home mom, you very much
are leading.
So there are social thingsacross that you can really pull
through.
But I'm gonna discuss personalexperience professionally.
So when I was very young in theindustry, you know, the examples
that I had that I was exposed towere really women who were, you
(00:42):
know, kind to your face,cutthroat behind your back kind
of people, right?
And then I had media examples inmovies like The Devil Wears
Prada, right?
And if you've seen it, I knowI'm dating myself a little bit.
It was still to this day one ofmy favorite movies, I think
mostly because of the fashion.
But something that also hadcaught my eye was the cutthroat,
(01:03):
you know, big boss Miranda, whowould clomp around the office
and everybody would scatter andhide because they were afraid of
her.
That's what was given to me aslike an example as a leader,
right?
Now, the very first time I waspromoted and given the
opportunity to lead, um, Icrashed and burned so friggin'
badly, I almost got fired.
I tell this story today at myjob and I tell it to my
(01:26):
colleagues now and my team thatI manage now.
And everyone thinks it'shilarious because they can't see
me being as mean as the personthat I describe.
Jenny, early 20s, mid-20s, was acompletely different person.
Now, when I was given thisresponsibility to lead, I took
it as, well, I don't have to doanything.
I'm gonna tell people what to doand I'm gonna take off and I'm
(01:47):
not gonna come in, I'm gonnashow up late, or I'm gonna leave
early, and I'm not gonna reallydo anything.
And, you know, I that's how Ilooked at it.
And so that worked for a coupleof weeks and then promptly,
promptly blew up in my face.
I learned the hard way, as myparents would say, I usually did
throughout my entire life.
It's the Jenny way, apparently.
(02:08):
But it took me a while torecognize what went wrong there.
And I don't even think in themoment when I I did not get
fired, by the way.
I gutted out the uncomfortablesituation that I was in because
I was being this person that Ithought I had to be, a lot of
people hated me because of it.
Interns were frightened.
And this is what I was toldlater on.
(02:29):
I had to work through that,which was incredibly
uncomfortable.
If you've ever worked in aprofessional setting, and this
is back when you were requiredto be in office all the time, it
is very awkward and difficult tobe in a place where nobody likes
you, but I had brought that onmyself.
So I kept my head high, I suckedit up, and I figured it out and
(02:49):
I stayed still for another yearor two, I believe.
And I still made it out in goodform.
Now, I learned a lot from thatinitial situation, but I didn't
quite know still how to managepeople.
Now, with every single positionthat I held at every company
that I was at, I remember beingin instances where I would have
majority not good bosses.
(03:11):
Actually, majority of the bosseswere pretty awful.
I think we all saw the sameexample.
It was the really beat-you-downexample.
It's the toxic, toxic example,it's the boss that dumps
everything on your desk as theyleave to go have dinner at home.
You know, like those are theexamples.
And this is what I consistentlyexperienced every single time,
time and again.
(03:32):
And with every experience likethat, I remember thinking to
myself, if you're ever given achance to lead again, you have
to do differently.
You can't let people feel thisway.
You have to do better than this.
So I'm fortunate enough that mycareer has been has gone well
enough where I was given thatopportunity again to lead.
And that time that I had it, itwas a few years back, was the
(03:53):
next opportunity that I had tolead.
I with gusto embraced the wholething.
And I showed up and I said,Well, why don't you all?
It was my first day at thisagency.
And I said, Well, why don't youguys show me what to do?
Show me what it is you're doing.
I need to learn the ropes withyou because I need to be able to
backfill you.
Backfill is basically somebodygoes out sick because I was the
leader in my mind.
(04:14):
That meant that I had to stepin.
Now, I know a lot of the peopleat that one company sort of took
it for a gr as a for as for agrain of salt at first, right?
They were like, Well, yeah,sure, we'll we'll teach you.
But nobody really expectedanything because again, they had
only been exposed to people alsothat just dumped on them.
So I come along the first timesomebody's out for vacation, I
said, Well, don't you show meeverything you need, tell me
(04:36):
what needs to happen, we'regonna get it done while you're
gone.
Skeptical.
Because again, I'm an anomalynow.
Everybody, the week goes by,this person was out, I took care
of everything.
I am not the kind of person thatis going to let an account or a
client suffer that is not in mygenetics.
I am a very much, we're all inthis together.
That is a leader.
A leader is not someone who'sgoing to just pass the buck.
(04:58):
A leader is not someone who'sgoing to just dump work on your
desk, not give you properguidance, not give you proper
support, not tell you clearlywhat needs to happen.
A leader is not going to do allthose things.
A leader is going to show up foryou.
They are going to make sure thatyou have what you need to
succeed.
Because a true leader is asuccessful leader if their team
is succeeding.
(05:19):
If your team is gettingpromoted, if your team is
climbing up that ladder, that isbecause you are a good leader
and you've shown them the way.
But that can only happen with agood leader.
Now, when I was at that oneparticular agency, when the week
ended, everybody was shockedthat I had lifted a finger.
I came to find out why later on,because my predecessor and
people around me in the sameposition and role refused to
(05:42):
help, refused to lift a finger,pushed it off on everyone else.
They were quote unquote too busyto help.
But the fact of the matter is,you cannot be too busy, you
cannot be too busy to helpbecause that is why we're here.
We're here to help.
So flash forward to now.
Now, I take this still veryseriously.
If I have to work every singlenight after work, that's because
(06:03):
I'm in meetings all day makingsure I'm supporting people.
I'm making sure everyone elsehas what they need to succeed.
And then I will get to thethings that I need to get to.
But the first and foremost jobthat I have is to make sure that
the people around me aresucceeding.
I've seen quotes recently onLinkedIn that support this.
And I've reposted them becauseto me, I'm like, this is really
(06:26):
the finest example that someonecan have of what it is to be a
leader.
I'm gonna read the quotes to youbecause I this is actually what
triggered me to want to recordthis for you.
The most powerful woman in theroom isn't the loudest or the
most intimidating.
She's the one who lifts othersup, who believes in the success
of those around her, and whoknows that true leadership is
(06:47):
about empowerment, not controlor competition.
That's the biggest thing here.
I have experienced time overtime that when I showed up as my
best self, the managers that Ihad at prior places would
immediately begin to try to tearme down.
Now, you might be saying, Jenny,you sound a little full of
yourself because I am full ofmyself, because I work very
(07:09):
hard.
I work very hard, as I'm sureyou do at your job.
I know my strengths, I know myweaknesses, and I know what I
readily admit.
I make mistakes all the time.
It happens.
I'm a human being, but so is myteam.
And so, in order to really bethe leader that everybody needs,
you have to empower others toknow that what they're doing is
right.
They know what they're doing isright because they feel
(07:31):
comfortable because you havegiven them that comfort level,
because you've encouraged themand helped them grow.
A quote that somebody in myagency recently said was, I will
grow wherever I am planted,meaning wherever I land, I'm
going to learn everything aroundme and then I'm gonna grow from
there.
That I love that quote so much.
That's something that I havefelt many times throughout the
(07:52):
years, and I was never able toarticulate it quite so nicely as
that.
But it's it's a fair, it's afair thing to say.
Now, if you're in an environmentthat is really bad around you,
the growth isn't gonna happen,but you are gonna learn things.
And in those instances, you'regonna learn what not to do.
Every opportunity, everysituation is a growth
(08:14):
opportunity.
Some of them let you growupward, but others let you grow
inward because you arerecognizing things that you
would never want to do tosomeone else.
And you'll make sure that whenyou get to your leadership
position, you're gonna make sureyour people don't feel as badly
as you did in that moment.
The key here is to learn fromevery scenario, turn it around
(08:35):
and make it so that you'velearned from that and you will
make sure that other people donot have to experience that too.
It's very much entangled, butit's it's really, it's really
all there.
This whole framework of beatingpeople down professionally to
let just a few rise to the topis, in my hope, on its way out
the door.
I know this is a little bit ofan odd one.
(08:57):
I don't really usually focusthis heavily on professional
thing, but it was somethingthat's really been in my mind.
So I wanted to share it with allof you.
For those women out there thatare working through your career
and trying to make your way upthe ladder.
I hear you, I feel you.
As long as you keep your head upand you just keep doing your
job, you will get there.
And, you know, you do have to bestrategic in some senses.
(09:18):
Make sure that you don't staytoo long in a role that you
think is not serving you.
If you look at my trajectory,you will see that every three
and a half years, I have movedfrom agency to agency.
That was does that was astrategic choice.
I did that on purpose because Ihad a basic formula for Jenny
getting promoted.
You give yourself one full yearfrom the start of a new job to
(09:41):
learn everything about that joband get really confident.
You need a year.
It's three months to learn toget your bearings, and then it's
a full year to really own andlearn everything.
After that first year, then yougo into growth.
So year two is when you'restarting to grow.
You've now mastered everythingabout your role that you need to
know.
What can you do else?
What is extra that you can do?
(10:03):
That's year two is that growthperiod.
Year three is when you startknocking on the door of a
promotion.
I'm ready to go.
I'm strong in my role.
I know more than my role now, Ican support more than my role.
What do I do?
You have to knock on that door.
You have to speak up.
If you do not open your mouth,you will not get a promotion.
That is not being pessimistic.
That is real.
You will not just be recognizedfor your work just because
(10:26):
that's not a thing.
You have to knock on the door,you have to open your mouth.
Year three, if you'recontinuously pushed to the side,
if you feel like your boss isgaslighting you, if you're flat
out told, well, you're good inyour role that you're you're in.
So we're gonna keep you there,which I say it like that because
I was told that at one agency.
I also was told once, um, I waslaughed at.
(10:46):
I put together a full PowerPointpresentation about how much
money I was bringing in and theamount of projects that I was
managing was far exceedingeveryone else's book of
business.
And my manager laughed.
He laughed when he saw thepresentation and he said, We'll,
we'll talk about it.
It went nowhere and I wassubdued quite a bit.
Instead of actually gettingelevated, he um he enlisted some
(11:11):
coworkers to spy on me and letthem know, let him know if I
missed any emails.
And so when I did bring to himmy request for a promotion and
brought him all of these quotesfrom clients and all of this
actual metric data, he said,Well, you didn't reply to this
one email within 24 hours.
And so, you know, we're notgonna do this right now.
That's when I know it's time togo.
(11:32):
If you're not being recognizedand you really don't have, if
you're not given that branchthat's saying yes, we're gonna
do this and you're not seeinganything happen, then you need
to leave.
Do not let yourself getcomfortable.
If you truly want to grow yourcareer, then you have to be
aggressive.
And I'm not lying, if you lookat my resume on LinkedIn, you
will see every three and a halfyears, I left.
Because if I am told no, thenthere's someone else out there
(11:55):
that is gonna see some talent inme.
And I'll make sure I keep goinguntil I find them, which is why
I am where I am, because thetalent is recognized and they're
wonderful people.
I am always here for thoselooking for professional
guidance, and I am always hereto help.
If you ever feel that you wantan ear, if you want to run a
scenario past, I love it.
I'm here for it.
You can email, you can messageon LinkedIn, Instagram, wherever
(12:17):
you want to find me.
I hope you found this episodeinformative.
I appreciate you being with me,and I will catch you on the next
one.
Take care.
Hello everyone, this is Steele Roses Podcast.
This podcast crew is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
And I hope you're all having awonderful week so far.
Thank you for checking in withme today.
Today I want to talk a littlebit about something that I've
talked about before, but I wantto revisit it as a topic because
I do think it's prettyimportant.
And that is what it is.
What is it to be a leader?
Now, this is something that Iknow professionally applies, but
(00:22):
I do think personally it appliesas well.
Because when you're astay-at-home mom, you very much
are leading.
So there are social thingsacross that you can really pull
through.
But I'm gonna discuss personalexperience professionally.
So when I was very young in theindustry, you know, the examples
that I had that I was exposed towere really women who were, you
(00:42):
know, kind to your face,cutthroat behind your back kind
of people, right?
And then I had media examples inmovies like The Devil Wears
Prada, right?
And if you've seen it, I knowI'm dating myself a little bit.
It was still to this day one ofmy favorite movies, I think
mostly because of the fashion.
But something that also hadcaught my eye was the cutthroat,
(01:03):
you know, big boss Miranda, whowould clomp around the office
and everybody would scatter andhide because they were afraid of
her.
That's what was given to me aslike an example as a leader,
right?
Now, the very first time I waspromoted and given the
opportunity to lead, um, Icrashed and burned so friggin'
badly, I almost got fired.
I tell this story today at myjob and I tell it to my
(01:26):
colleagues now and my team thatI manage now.
And everyone thinks it'shilarious because they can't see
me being as mean as the personthat I describe.
Jenny, early 20s, mid-20s, was acompletely different person.
Now, when I was given thisresponsibility to lead, I took
it as, well, I don't have to doanything.
I'm gonna tell people what to doand I'm gonna take off and I'm
(01:47):
not gonna come in, I'm gonnashow up late, or I'm gonna leave
early, and I'm not gonna reallydo anything.
And, you know, I that's how Ilooked at it.
And so that worked for a coupleof weeks and then promptly,
promptly blew up in my face.
I learned the hard way, as myparents would say, I usually did
throughout my entire life.
It's the Jenny way, apparently.
(02:08):
But it took me a while torecognize what went wrong there.
And I don't even think in themoment when I I did not get
fired, by the way.
I gutted out the uncomfortablesituation that I was in because
I was being this person that Ithought I had to be, a lot of
people hated me because of it.
Interns were frightened.
And this is what I was toldlater on.
(02:29):
I had to work through that,which was incredibly
uncomfortable.
If you've ever worked in aprofessional setting, and this
is back when you were requiredto be in office all the time, it
is very awkward and difficult tobe in a place where nobody likes
you, but I had brought that onmyself.
So I kept my head high, I suckedit up, and I figured it out and
(02:49):
I stayed still for another yearor two, I believe.
And I still made it out in goodform.
Now, I learned a lot from thatinitial situation, but I didn't
quite know still how to managepeople.
Now, with every single positionthat I held at every company
that I was at, I remember beingin instances where I would have
majority not good bosses.
(03:11):
Actually, majority of the bosseswere pretty awful.
I think we all saw the sameexample.
It was the really beat-you-downexample.
It's the toxic, toxic example,it's the boss that dumps
everything on your desk as theyleave to go have dinner at home.
You know, like those are theexamples.
And this is what I consistentlyexperienced every single time,
time and again.
(03:32):
And with every experience likethat, I remember thinking to
myself, if you're ever given achance to lead again, you have
to do differently.
You can't let people feel thisway.
You have to do better than this.
So I'm fortunate enough that mycareer has been has gone well
enough where I was given thatopportunity again to lead.
And that time that I had it, itwas a few years back, was the
(03:53):
next opportunity that I had tolead.
I with gusto embraced the wholething.
And I showed up and I said,Well, why don't you all?
It was my first day at thisagency.
And I said, Well, why don't youguys show me what to do?
Show me what it is you're doing.
I need to learn the ropes withyou because I need to be able to
backfill you.
Backfill is basically somebodygoes out sick because I was the
leader in my mind.
(04:14):
That meant that I had to stepin.
Now, I know a lot of the peopleat that one company sort of took
it for a gr as a for as for agrain of salt at first, right?
They were like, Well, yeah,sure, we'll we'll teach you.
But nobody really expectedanything because again, they had
only been exposed to people alsothat just dumped on them.
So I come along the first timesomebody's out for vacation, I
said, Well, don't you show meeverything you need, tell me
(04:36):
what needs to happen, we'regonna get it done while you're
gone.
Skeptical.
Because again, I'm an anomalynow.
Everybody, the week goes by,this person was out, I took care
of everything.
I am not the kind of person thatis going to let an account or a
client suffer that is not in mygenetics.
I am a very much, we're all inthis together.
That is a leader.
A leader is not someone who'sgoing to just pass the buck.
(04:58):
A leader is not someone who'sgoing to just dump work on your
desk, not give you properguidance, not give you proper
support, not tell you clearlywhat needs to happen.
A leader is not going to do allthose things.
A leader is going to show up foryou.
They are going to make sure thatyou have what you need to
succeed.
Because a true leader is asuccessful leader if their team
is succeeding.
(05:19):
If your team is gettingpromoted, if your team is
climbing up that ladder, that isbecause you are a good leader
and you've shown them the way.
But that can only happen with agood leader.
Now, when I was at that oneparticular agency, when the week
ended, everybody was shockedthat I had lifted a finger.
I came to find out why later on,because my predecessor and
people around me in the sameposition and role refused to
(05:42):
help, refused to lift a finger,pushed it off on everyone else.
They were quote unquote too busyto help.
But the fact of the matter is,you cannot be too busy, you
cannot be too busy to helpbecause that is why we're here.
We're here to help.
So flash forward to now.
Now, I take this still veryseriously.
If I have to work every singlenight after work, that's because
(06:03):
I'm in meetings all day makingsure I'm supporting people.
I'm making sure everyone elsehas what they need to succeed.
And then I will get to thethings that I need to get to.
But the first and foremost jobthat I have is to make sure that
the people around me aresucceeding.
I've seen quotes recently onLinkedIn that support this.
And I've reposted them becauseto me, I'm like, this is really
(06:26):
the finest example that someonecan have of what it is to be a
leader.
I'm gonna read the quotes to youbecause I this is actually what
triggered me to want to recordthis for you.
The most powerful woman in theroom isn't the loudest or the
most intimidating.
She's the one who lifts othersup, who believes in the success
of those around her, and whoknows that true leadership is
(06:47):
about empowerment, not controlor competition.
That's the biggest thing here.
I have experienced time overtime that when I showed up as my
best self, the managers that Ihad at prior places would
immediately begin to try to tearme down.
Now, you might be saying, Jenny,you sound a little full of
yourself because I am full ofmyself, because I work very
(07:09):
hard.
I work very hard, as I'm sureyou do at your job.
I know my strengths, I know myweaknesses, and I know what I
readily admit.
I make mistakes all the time.
It happens.
I'm a human being, but so is myteam.
And so, in order to really bethe leader that everybody needs,
you have to empower others toknow that what they're doing is
right.
They know what they're doing isright because they feel
(07:31):
comfortable because you havegiven them that comfort level,
because you've encouraged themand helped them grow.
A quote that somebody in myagency recently said was, I will
grow wherever I am planted,meaning wherever I land, I'm
going to learn everything aroundme and then I'm gonna grow from
there.
That I love that quote so much.
That's something that I havefelt many times throughout the
(07:52):
years, and I was never able toarticulate it quite so nicely as
that.
But it's it's a fair, it's afair thing to say.
Now, if you're in an environmentthat is really bad around you,
the growth isn't gonna happen,but you are gonna learn things.
And in those instances, you'regonna learn what not to do.
Every opportunity, everysituation is a growth
(08:14):
opportunity.
Some of them let you growupward, but others let you grow
inward because you arerecognizing things that you
would never want to do tosomeone else.
And you'll make sure that whenyou get to your leadership
position, you're gonna make sureyour people don't feel as badly
as you did in that moment.
The key here is to learn fromevery scenario, turn it around
(08:35):
and make it so that you'velearned from that and you will
make sure that other people donot have to experience that too.
It's very much entangled, butit's it's really, it's really
all there.
This whole framework of beatingpeople down professionally to
let just a few rise to the topis, in my hope, on its way out
the door.
I know this is a little bit ofan odd one.
(08:57):
I don't really usually focusthis heavily on professional
thing, but it was somethingthat's really been in my mind.
So I wanted to share it with allof you.
For those women out there thatare working through your career
and trying to make your way upthe ladder.
I hear you, I feel you.
As long as you keep your head upand you just keep doing your
job, you will get there.
And, you know, you do have to bestrategic in some senses.
(09:18):
Make sure that you don't staytoo long in a role that you
think is not serving you.
If you look at my trajectory,you will see that every three
and a half years, I have movedfrom agency to agency.
That was does that was astrategic choice.
I did that on purpose because Ihad a basic formula for Jenny
getting promoted.
You give yourself one full yearfrom the start of a new job to
(09:41):
learn everything about that joband get really confident.
You need a year.
It's three months to learn toget your bearings, and then it's
a full year to really own andlearn everything.
After that first year, then yougo into growth.
So year two is when you'restarting to grow.
You've now mastered everythingabout your role that you need to
know.
What can you do else?
What is extra that you can do?
(10:03):
That's year two is that growthperiod.
Year three is when you startknocking on the door of a
promotion.
I'm ready to go.
I'm strong in my role.
I know more than my role now, Ican support more than my role.
What do I do?
You have to knock on that door.
You have to speak up.
If you do not open your mouth,you will not get a promotion.
That is not being pessimistic.
That is real.
You will not just be recognizedfor your work just because
(10:26):
that's not a thing.
You have to knock on the door,you have to open your mouth.
Year three, if you'recontinuously pushed to the side,
if you feel like your boss isgaslighting you, if you're flat
out told, well, you're good inyour role that you're you're in.
So we're gonna keep you there,which I say it like that because
I was told that at one agency.
I also was told once, um, I waslaughed at.
(10:46):
I put together a full PowerPointpresentation about how much
money I was bringing in and theamount of projects that I was
managing was far exceedingeveryone else's book of
business.
And my manager laughed.
He laughed when he saw thepresentation and he said, We'll,
we'll talk about it.
It went nowhere and I wassubdued quite a bit.
Instead of actually gettingelevated, he um he enlisted some
(11:11):
coworkers to spy on me and letthem know, let him know if I
missed any emails.
And so when I did bring to himmy request for a promotion and
brought him all of these quotesfrom clients and all of this
actual metric data, he said,Well, you didn't reply to this
one email within 24 hours.
And so, you know, we're notgonna do this right now.
That's when I know it's time togo.
(11:32):
If you're not being recognizedand you really don't have, if
you're not given that branchthat's saying yes, we're gonna
do this and you're not seeinganything happen, then you need
to leave.
Do not let yourself getcomfortable.
If you truly want to grow yourcareer, then you have to be
aggressive.
And I'm not lying, if you lookat my resume on LinkedIn, you
will see every three and a halfyears, I left.
Because if I am told no, thenthere's someone else out there
(11:55):
that is gonna see some talent inme.
And I'll make sure I keep goinguntil I find them, which is why
I am where I am, because thetalent is recognized and they're
wonderful people.
I am always here for thoselooking for professional
guidance, and I am always hereto help.
If you ever feel that you wantan ear, if you want to run a
scenario past, I love it.
I'm here for it.
You can email, you can messageon LinkedIn, Instagram, wherever
(12:17):
you want to find me.
I hope you found this episodeinformative.
I appreciate you being with me,and I will catch you on the next
one.
Take care.
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