August 25, 2025 • 42 mins
What if everything you've been told about your fertility challenges is incomplete? When Erica Hoke was given a devastating prognosis—less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally and told IVF wouldn't work for her case—she refused to accept it as her final answer.
After suffering through excruciating menstrual cycles for twelve years before receiving a diagnosis of stage four endometriosis, Erica found herself at 35 with seven different fertility-inhibiting conditions. Rather than surrendering to medical protocols that offered no hope, she embarked on a journey that would not only transform her own fertility outcome but eventually help countless other women facing similar struggles.
In this deeply personal conversation, Erica reveals how conventional reproductive medicine often fails to address the root causes of fertility challenges. She shares how toxin exposure, nutrition, stress management, and emotional processing can dramatically impact fertility—factors frequently dismissed by doctors who tell patients "diet doesn't matter" and "you can't change the health of your eggs."
Most powerfully, Erica challenges the notion that fertility issues are simply "bad genes" or inevitable hereditary conditions. "It's not bad genes causing this," she explains. "It's how your body handles your environment." This perspective opens new possibilities for women who've been told their family history dictates their fertility fate.
The discussion also highlights the normalization of dysfunction in women's health—how severe menstrual symptoms are often dismissed by both families and medical professionals, leading to delayed diagnosis and treatment for conditions like endometriosis, which takes an average of 12 years to diagnose.
For women feeling hopeless about their fertility prospects, Erica's story offers a different path. Through her three-month "egg rehab" program and Infertility Success book series, she provides personalized support addressing the physical, emotional, and environmental factors that conventional medicine often overlooks.
Whether you're currently navigating fertility challenges or supporting someone who is, this episode will transform how you think about reproductive health and the possibilities that exist beyond standard medical protocols. Connect with Erica through her website to discover how her holistic approach might support your unique fertility journey.
Infertility Success to Postpartum Mess: The Truth No One Tells You
https://amzn.to/4oPwZqt
Infertility Success Stories of Faith and Miracles: Hope, Healing, and Triumph over Infertility Through God's Grace
https://amzn.to/4oRtboE
Infertility Success, MORE Stories of Help and Hope For Your Journey
https://amzn.to/45PTYci
Infertility Success: Stories of Help and Hope for Your Journey
https://amzn.to/45Hxk7f
https://ericahoke.com/
Love this content? Check out our links below for more!
Linktr.ee Content
Instagram
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everybody, this is Steel Roses podcast.
This podcast was created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I am very excited to introduceeverybody today to our guest,
erica Hope.
She is a natural fertilitycoach who has guided countless
women through infertility withcompassion, expertise and proven
strategies.
Erica combines her deepunderstanding of how toxins
(00:21):
impact fertility health withinsights into often overlooked
medical tests, targetednutritional changes and powerful
stress management tools.
Her holistic fertility coachingfocuses on the physical, mental
, emotional and environmentalfactors that can make all the
difference when you're trying toconceive.
Whether you want to conceivenaturally or improve your IVF
success rates, erica'spersonalized approach will help
you feel informed, empowered andsupported every step of the way
(00:44):
.
Erica, welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for having me.
So I know that I know I said alot, but I wanted to I wanted
the listeners to reallyunderstand, like where you were
coming from.
I would love for you to shareyour story with the listeners,
how you ended up with this focus, and then we'll kind of just
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Okay, yeah, thanks for having me on, jenny.
Well, I guess the best place tostart is the beginning, and
that is with my cycles, you know, as a teenager.
Shortly after I started gettingmy period, they just got
progressively worse and whatthat looked like was vomiting on
the first day of my cycle,terrible pain, uncontrollable
(01:22):
bleeding.
And then it just kind ofprogressed from there for 12
years.
12 years to get my firstdiagnosis.
So that was stage four,endometriosis.
So all in all I ended up withseven different what I say is
like infertility or fertilityinhibiting diagnosis.
So by the age of 35, I hadaccumulated most of these, I had
(01:46):
gotten married.
I knew that.
I knew that I was going to havechallenges, right Like I had a
history of all of these problems.
But I kind of felt, likeeverybody does, that IVF would
be my backup plan, right, likeI've got all these things going
on, but IVF is going to be mybackup plan.
And then it wasn't.
Then my plan B did not work outand I was told at the age of 35
(02:12):
that I couldn't do IVF, that Iwould need donor eggs and that I
had a less than 1% chance ofconceiving on my own Well.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So from the beginning you had mentioned, like in the
beginning, your cycles werereally awful.
So I actually have a questionhere for you, because I think
this happens quite a bit and Iknow I have endometriosis as
well, so I know that you knowit's something that's hereditary
, it's passed down and what endsup happening is that within
families, because all the womenhave it, they don't realize that
(02:45):
this is not actually supposedto be happening.
You're not supposed to bevomiting during your period.
And actually, what a blanketstatement is for everyone who's
listening.
If you, when you have yourcycle, have incredibly heavy
flow to the point where you haveto use a tampon, a pad, and
you're still going all the waythrough, that's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yep, yeah, and it's totally the normalizing of
dysfunction right On a lot ofdifferent levels.
Like you mentioned, familial,you know, it's like well, that's
how my cycle is, and so it'snormalized, especially in
previous generations wherepeople really just didn't even
talk about their periods, right,you know, they had nothing to
compare it to.
(03:23):
At least now we're having theconversation, but back then they
were like I don't know, I'm notgoing to ask anybody about that
, so it was just normalized.
But then also in the medicalcommunity, that level of
dysfunction and distress in apatient, it does not raise a red
flag, necessarily no doctor, apatient it does not raise a red
(03:47):
flag necessarily Like no doctor,unless you push for additional
testing or you push for ananswer, is going to send you for
anything.
And so in my case, endometriosis, as you probably know, I don't
know how long it took you, but12 years is about the average to
get a diagnosis.
But the thing that alwayssticks in my mind is I wanted
them so badly to tell me that Ihad endometriosis without going
through surgery.
And I want your listeners tounderstand they cannot do that,
(04:10):
they are not allowed to do that.
They will not diagnose youwithout surgery.
And so by the time that I gotto the point where I'm like I
don't know do the surgery.
I'm I'm like a hot mess overhere, I'm like not functional.
Then it was stage four and it'sso incredibly frustrating.
Now there are blood tests.
(04:32):
I will say that, like in thepast few years, there are some
blood tests that have come upthat you can get at least some
screening and give you a betteridea of whether or not you have
endometriosis without havinglaparoscopic surgery.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
So the blood test and I just want to the reference
medical person in me wants to belike.
So the blood test that Erica isreferring to, it's called the
CA-125 test and it's sometimesused to indicate the possibility
of the condition.
But they will still likedefinitively say yeah, like
they'll definitively say doc.
the healthcare community willsay, like we really don't know,
(05:09):
we have to go inside and look.
My diagnosis was by accidentbecause I was getting.
I vaguely remember, you know,my early years of my cycle and
it being painful, but again mymom said oh yeah, your aunts
were like that too, you know,and you know, I didn't even
(05:30):
realize it until, like I was anadult, but my mom had uterine
fibroids.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
She didn't know that that's what it was.
You know, like she had fibroidsand endometriosis probably, but
she didn't know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And she and she still to this day, like I said, I had
endometriosis and she still waslike, oh you know, they're all
on menopause, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
They're like, oh well , Well, and they just had
hysterectomies.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
That was the solution back then they just yanked
everything out.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yep, they just yanked it out.
We can't fix you.
You've got this problem.
We'll just solve it withsurgery.
So I think it's not bad genesthat is causing this.
It is the fact that this is howyour body handles your
(06:12):
environment.
Because of a methylation issue,because of whatever.
It's not an inevitable thing.
It's a response to your foodand your environment and your
toxins and things like that.
You can break that, but youhave to do something different
than your family and how youwere raised.
(06:33):
You have to address itdifferently.
You can't just keep doing thesame thing.
So in my case, taking theNSAIDs and stuff was actually
making everything so much worsebecause I have a methylation
problems.
That's a long rabbit hole thatI don't even know that I can
unwind right this second.
(06:53):
But what I'm saying is it'sflows and families.
Because your mom treated it acertain way, she's telling you
to treat it the same way or youknow your exposure is the same,
not necessarily because it isquote unquote hereditary.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So listeners outside of the discussion with Erica, I
wholeheartedly believe that, yes, while they'll say exactly what
Erica just said, this is acrossall disease States, and I want
to get back to Erica's story.
But I want to just make thisstatement because it's in line
with, I think, what she's goingto talk about Across disease
states.
You will be told this ishereditary, I've been told.
You have, your family has ahistory of diabetes, a history
(07:36):
of high blood pressure and ahistory of heart disease.
You're going to get it.
It's going to happen.
You have to be careful and Iactually I'm a vegetarian.
I chose to go vegetarian exactlyfor I think a lot, for a lot of
what Erica's about to talkabout, because of toxins and
things that are in our foodsthat we don't, we're not aware
of as much and we don't control,and there's pesticides and all
(07:57):
kinds of things that are goinginto our food supply.
That is affecting us on acellular level and because we're
being exposed our entire livesto them, it is affecting
everything.
Now, an example really is, likeyou know, of young people going
through puberty much earlier.
Well, it's because there's somuch hormones being injected
into the foods that it iscausing young people to get
(08:19):
their period sooner.
Like I had to take my kids tothe urgent care the other day
for ear infections and it was mytwins, my twin girls, and the
doctor was like, have theystarted menstruating yet?
They're eight.
I was like what?
Yeah, so I want to, I want tocircle back.
So you basically were told likeIVF is not going to work for you
.
Yeah, you know, you knew youhad endometriosis.
(08:42):
So you get based.
You're told you have a 1%chance of conceiving.
You're basically saying you'renot going to have kids, it's not
going to happen by you, right?
Well, your response in thatmoment, at this point, you're
probably like a research expert,because that's what you have to
do.
You have to advocate foryourself.
What was, what did you do atthis point?
What was your reaction?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Well, I think that a couple things happened before I
got to that point that I was.
My eyes were starting to beopened and I don't want to skip
over that.
So, like I said, I had sevendiagnosis.
So endometriosis was just oneof them.
I also had uterine fibroids,which you mentioned you had also
.
So it took me two failedlaparoscopic surgeries, and what
I mean by failed is they didlaparoscopy, they went in, they
said we don't see any fibroidsthat we could remove.
(09:29):
At that point I had to advocatewith my OBGYN and my
reproductive endocrinologist todo a third, different type of
surgery so that I could get somerelief.
I could get some relief.
Pregnancy was secondary to that, because I was having such
uncontrollable pain and flowthat I needed to address that
(09:50):
for my own health, aside frompregnancy.
But nobody was coming to me andsaying, well, we didn't find
this and you still aresymptomatic for that, so let's
do this.
No, I had to be like there'ssomething else.
You've got to be able to dosomething else for me.
What can we do next?
And it wasn't, it wasn't didn'tcome easy, right.
(10:10):
And so that was an eye openerfor me, because when they did
that surgery for the fibroids.
They did a saline infusedlaparoscopy, where they fill
your uterus with saline, andwhat happened with my particular
fibroids is that they were kindof embedded in the uterine wall
, so they float out instead ofretract.
Without going into a lot moredetail, yeah, yeah, and so they
(10:33):
took so many fibroids out.
It looked like a handful ofaquarium gravel.
So at that point I was like, wow, what if?
What if I didn't push?
No one was there telling methis is something that you can
do.
I had to push.
So when I got to the pointwhere they told me, listen,
you're hyper ovulating.
Because I want to, I want toflush this out a little bit too.
(10:56):
You're hyper ovulating and wecan't stimulate you for an egg
retrieval.
And oh, by the way, you havediminished ovarian reserves and
you don't have enough eggs forus to do a retrieval anyway, and
you're going to need donor eggsin order for you to get
pregnant.
That seed was already plantedin my mind that, okay, what else
(11:16):
aren't they telling me?
What else can I do?
So it was incredibly.
I don't want to gloss over thefact that it was incredibly
devastating.
It was traumatic.
It was a really hard thing tohear, because that is getting
the rug pulled out fromunderneath you, right?
Whether it's a diagnosis likemine or some other diagnosis
which totally takes your hopeand your choices away.
(11:37):
It was devastating.
So I sat in that for a minuteand I was like, well, okay,
we're not going to go the donoregg route until I exhaust all
other options and I don't knowwhat those options are, but I'm
going to find out what affectsfertility and I'm going to go
(11:58):
full in on that and see what Ican do to improve my chances of
getting pregnant naturally.
And it was things likeacupuncture for fertility.
It was things like personalizedtesting which, again, as a
consumer, so many of my clientscome to me and they will say to
me you hear all the time in theinfertility world, I've been
(12:19):
tested for everything.
I am a pin cushion, there isn'tone single task possible.
And I will tell you that is acomplete and utter lie.
I've not met one client or asingle person of my authors in
the infertility success seriesthat that was actually true.
It is a lie.
Everybody is a consumer and I'mgetting soapboxy this morning,
(12:42):
but everybody everybody, as aconsumer, thinks that when they
go into the reproductiveendocrinologist that they are
going to do a deep dive intotheir history and they're going
to look at all their labs andthey're going to figure out why
they have unexplainedinfertility or why they have
infertility.
And that is not what happens atall.
(13:03):
They do a protocol, which isit's a lab procedure, right,
they're doing lab process inorder to get you to conceive.
So I've said a lot, so I'lltake a breath there.
But that that's kind of whatlaunched my advocate myself
advocacy and kind of got theball rolling for me about making
(13:26):
the changes and toxins andsupplements and diet and all of
those things that I found weretrue, truly impacted fertility,
even though the medicalcommunity will tell you diet
doesn't matter, supplementsdon't matter, you can't change
the health of your eggs.
All of those things, they'reall complete lies.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It's interesting.
So you mentioned protocol and Iwant to clarify for the
listeners essentially whathappens every year, annually.
There's organizations in theUnited States that will release
their trusted organizations.
You can't see it If you'relistening to the podcast.
I just did a quote.
Air quote, air quoteustedorganizations that are meant to
(14:07):
be top of the top.
These are the top experts inthe field, across all disease
states.
This is true and theseorganizations will come through
and say you know, these are therules of care that we're
releasing this year.
We've updated them.
This is the standard of careand all doctors in these
(14:28):
particular disease states andagain it's across all of them
fall in line with what theprotocols were that were just
released and then they willfollow them to a T.
Now sometimes you get doctorsthat will follow it but then
also expand on it, and those arewonderful doctors, like really,
really great doctors.
But not everybody does that.
As Erica just said, a lot offolks will just look down the
(14:50):
list, check, check, check.
You know what you have allthese things not gonna be
possible for you.
We tried everything.
This is your lot in life.
What Erica is saying here isthis doesn't have to be.
You can continue to try and youactually can make changes.
And I will say this, like Imentioned earlier, that I've
been told like, oh, you're goingto have all these diseases,
it's going to happen to you.
I'm the only one in my familywho doesn't have high blood
pressure the only person andit's because of how I choose to
(15:12):
live my life and how I what Iconsume, and I know that, and
they're out of consuming there'sa lot of other things
holistically that I do.
So, erica, you're told, you'rebasically told there's no hope.
You have to advocate foryourself.
So you started to go down thisrabbit hole of research.
Now, when you were goingthrough this and I want to
highlight this how often bymedical professionals were you
(15:35):
told like this isn't real, thisdoesn't make sense what you're
saying?
Or you got pushed back, or theywere telling you like well, you
know, I'm the physician here.
There's a lot of women that areintimidated, and even myself
included.
I get intimidated by thedoctors too, even though I know
what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
They throw things out there and I'm like, well
they're.
You know, my family very muchis like, oh well, that's the
medical professional.
We have to do what they say.
They said it and that's notnecessarily the case, and I
think that's what you found here, Like you were able to do more
for yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah.
So a lot of tabs open in myhead right now.
So I guess what I want to startoff by saying is, if you don't
fix these foundational things,nothing that you do is going to
be as successful as it could be.
I'm not anti-medicine.
I consider what I do as abridge between holistic care and
the medical community.
(16:24):
Because here is the breakdownthey are not holistic, they are
not whole person minded, theyare not root cause minded.
Okay, so let's just, let's justcategorize it as that is, that,
accept that for what it is.
You know that it doesn't makethem wrong.
It's just not what they do.
It's not what they were trainedto do.
It's not what they were trainedto do.
(16:45):
It's not how they were trainedto do it.
So if you want someone who'sgoing to take a holistic
approach, you have to providethat care for yourself.
You either have to find, youhave to find those resources
yourself.
So whether it's like youmentioned, whether it's
infertility or whether it'sanother you know, hereditary
disease.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So I and it's okay because there's I think you know
there's so much to say aboutthis topic that it's it's very
hard to even like hone it in andlike pick the certain elements.
One thing I want to touch on,because I don't want to discount
this, was the emotional elementof what you were going through.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
So we're cause, we're very we're talking very like
statistically of like this is it?
And this is how you know, makesure you advocate for yourself.
But I, I haven't experienced itat all, but I do have relatives
that had gone through verytraumatic infertility
experiences and had to, and, andyou know, everyone has kids now
happy and healthy.
(17:46):
Everyone had to go down theirown paths for it.
You know, and so I am.
I don't know if you're going tobe able to answer this, but how
did you find the strengthwithin to say, like I'm not
going to accept the diagnosisthat you're telling me.
I am going to continue to lookat this Like how did you find it
in yourself to continue to godown that path?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I would say I found it outside of myself because in
my own strength, I would havefelt I relied heavily on my
faith.
In my own strength, I wouldhave felt I relied heavily on my
faith.
As a matter of fact, I'mlooking here at a sticker that I
used to say to myself, like alittle verse from the Bible that
I used to say myself, which iscounted all as joy, and what
that means to me and what thatmeant to me, is that this is for
(18:29):
a purpose, and the purpose isis that I would be a much sicker
mother.
Maybe I would have never been amother, but I would be a sicker
mother if I had managed to getpregnant on my own without
making these changes.
I don't think that I would have.
And also generationally, whichcircles us way back to the
beginning of the conversation Iam now able to help my kids and
(18:51):
say to them hey, you can't liveyour life like this, because
this is the health pattern thatwe need to put into place so
that you will be healthy.
I'm going to answer circle backto the first question that we
were talking about, which isself-advocacy, and then also
emotional support.
How do you go aboutself-advocacy in the medical
(19:13):
community.
I think that you just have toknow intuitively that you live
in your body.
You're the expert in your body.
So even if they have a degreein a white coat, nobody knows
your body like yourself.
You don't need to Google thatright.
So just standing up foryourself and not letting someone
dismiss your symptoms, dismisshow you're feeling, that can
(19:36):
just be the first step.
It is something that I coach myclients through all the time is
having those conversations andwhy it's important to have that
self-belief.
But let's just say, if I wasgetting giving a tip of the day
in that area, that is what Iwould say to start with, because
you can't be intimidated ortalk down to about you know,
your Google, research orwhatever when you're talking
(19:58):
about your symptoms, how youfeel and things like that.
Just honor yourself and honorwhat's going on in your body and
approach it from that direction.
You know, if somebody takesoffense of that, maybe you do
need another doctor.
But the emotional part issomething that is so important.
The emotional key is not justemotional, because if you can't
(20:20):
cope, you can't continue.
That's just flat out the bottomline.
You have to put some copingmechanisms in place so that you
can make it through thisinfertility journey.
So what that looked like for mewas it was talk therapy it was
using the resources of my faith.
But there are also.
What that looked like for mewas it was talk therapy, it was
using the resources of my faith,but there are also things that
I've learned that I share withmy clients now, which is things
(20:41):
like tapping TRE method.
Tapping where you connect withthe emotion that you're feeling,
and if you're not familiar withthat, it's something.
The reason that I love it isbecause what I call it my pocket
.
Actually, I have a practitionerthat provides all this
information in my program andshe's the expert in that.
(21:01):
But you identify the emotionand then you process it and you
have these things that you can.
You know, when you get yournegative pregnancy test or you
get that call from the IVFclinic that your you know
embryos didn't make it, you cango to your car, you can go in
the bathroom and, instead ofstuffing those feelings down,
you can process them in themoment and then go on with your
(21:22):
day, which is so importantbecause this is a 30-day cycle
or 28-day cycle process, and ifyou are constantly stuffing your
emotions down.
Then, once you do get pregnant,once you do bring that baby
home, once you do take thepressure off and release that
pressure off the valve, so tospeak, then a whole lot of stuff
(21:44):
is going to come out and it'snot going to be pretty.
So we don't want that to happen.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You know.
I want to highlight what you'retalking about here because this
is like a personal practice andsomething I'm teaching my kids
like.
If you said, like now that Iknow what I know, yeah, I
started teaching these guyssince they've been little like
how to process their emotions.
What I don't think a lot ofpeople realize, and maybe they
just think it's dumb for lack ofa better word yeah, um, is when
(22:11):
you don't acknowledgeemotionally what you're going
through.
You don't acknowledgeemotionally what you're going
through, you don't acknowledgethe feeling and you, like Erica
said, stuff it back in.
That actually continues to eataway at you and, energetically,
your vibrational energy, and I'mgoing to get a little like it's
going to sound woo-woo, butlet's just before you even go
there.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
This is all rooted in science, thank you, I was going
to say that next it's allphysiological rooted, so you're
probably going to talk about thefrequency and the energy part
of it, but this is all.
Converts into cortisol levelsand hormone levels and your
body's ability to process thatwhat.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Eric is talking about .
There is actual scientificresearch and data.
This is not total BS, and Iwill say and let me just make
this statement I work in science, I work in research, I work
with pharmaceutical companies.
That is what I do for a living.
So I am very much.
(23:11):
Even though Erica mentioned ablood test earlier, I went right
away to look it up to make sureI had a good reference.
I am a reference person.
If there is not something toback it up, then I'm going to be
like all right, I can't reallytake this at its word.
What we're talking about hereis actual backed up by science,
but it's just science that's notpromoted out there because
nobody wants.
They don't want to take awaythe monies, right.
So this is all real legitimatestuff.
(23:32):
Now, outside of the, you knowyour energy level, which I know
some people can't.
It's hard for a lot of folks towrap their head around that.
You know your vibrationalenergy is incredibly important
to your whole well being.
So that's one thing like makingsure that you're maintaining
your emotional energy and not,you know, having any toxic like
energy in you Physically.
I'm curious did you shift yourdiet and what you were consuming
(23:55):
in this?
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, and the literal translation of what you're
talking about.
And what I'm talking about isinflammation.
That's the little translationin your body.
So, yeah, I made, I made dietchanges.
You know, if you had asked meat the time, I would have been
like oh, I eat, I eat salads,I'm healthy, you know.
But I was really eating astandard American diet and not a
lot of organics, which meantthat I was consuming a lot of
(24:21):
pesticide, a lot of hormones inthe meats and things like that.
And so making those changes,because I didn't know at the
time that I had a methylationproblem.
I'm not going to do a deep diveinto this, but I had MTHFR,
which I didn't really even learnuntil after I had given birth
(24:42):
to all of my kids.
But all the things that I wasdoing in order to help my body
was basically linked to that.
So removing the toxins,changing and improving my diet,
but then also the acupuncture,contributes to all that too, at
a cellular level, at an organlevel, and so all that, all
those things that I, all thosethings that I put in place to
(25:03):
support myself, were because ofthat methylation problem which,
I was told, up to 80% of thepopulation is a carrier of at
least one of that.
One of the geneticists told usthat, so I wouldn't be surprised
I.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I had my one of my sister-in-laws she, she went
through just the hoops she hadto jump through to conceive and
then my niece ended up beingborn.
She was about two months earlier, so she was yeah, she's healthy
, happy now, but it was veryscary in that moment.
She didn't quite my.
My sister-in-law didn't findout until later on that she had
a gene mutation uh, incrediblyrare um, that caused infertility
(25:41):
.
So her daughter, quiteliterally, cause she didn't know
about this, her daughter, quiteliterally, is a miracle.
It's a miracle that she's evenhere because, based on her
medical like state, based onscience, she should have never
conceived.
But I will say this she went to, she didn't go through medical,
traditional medical, she wentthrough holistic and homeopathic
(26:02):
.
She and and that's how she wasable to conceive.
Yeah, it took a lot, it tookher years to be able to get
there, but she was eventuallyable to do it.
Um, there's so many things totouch on, so I'm trying, I'm
trying to like everything forthe listeners.
Yeah, so we talked about youknow you get this, this 1%
basically diagnosis, like it'snot going to happen for you
(26:24):
Emotionally.
You started addressing the youknow the emotions making sure
you're addressing the cortisolso that way you're not having
that inflammation.
You did have some dietarychanges I'm going to assume you
know, because obviously wetalked about that and then you
had the will and the strength tocontinue on.
So once, at what point did youknow I'd like to use this to
help other people.
I've gone through this, otherpeople must be going through
(26:45):
this.
At what point did you start tothink to yourself I think I can
help other people.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, I think it was just I started telling people my
story and I, you know, I hadthree children under three years
old, so I had, you know, myoldest really close together.
So kind of.
When I was able to come up forair and I started participating
again in the Facebookcommunities, the trying to
conceive communities, and kindof sharing my story, kind of
(27:16):
sharing my story, I realizedthat there's so many women out
there that just don't have anyhope and they don't know
anything else to do except forIVF.
And like we've talked about youknow you can go on one of the
dot govs and it will say make itless likely to conceive,
hormone and endocrine disruptors, make it less likely to
conceive naturally and make itharder for your IVF to work.
(27:36):
Like that's on thegov.
They know that that's out therebut nobody is telling these
women.
And there's a woman out thereand I often say when I do
podcasts like I'm really talkingto that one woman out there who
is just can't do IVF.
Maybe she can't afford IVF,let's be real about that and she
just feels devastated becausenobody's talking about what else
(28:01):
you can do, how you canactually help yourself a lot to
be successful and conceive,naturally outside of IVF.
So I really do this as amission to help that one person,
that one woman who just feelsutterly hopeless, like there is
nothing that she can do outsideof reproductive medicine to get
pregnant.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You know I've thought about that quite a bit, because
IVF is not that it's notcovered by insurance.
Right Like this is notsomething that's like yeah, it's
that it's so much to go throughand then to be trying to
continue to bang on that wallwhen it's like truly is a wall.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
There are people that are mortgaging their house.
There are people that once theydo get pregnant and conceive,
they have six figures worth ofbills that they can't.
You know.
They have very little maternityleave.
Now they have kids, but nowthey have the expenses of child
care.
They can't quit their job.
It's really.
It's really a mess, and it isgetting better.
The insurance companies arecovering, you know, more
(28:58):
procedures.
There is more help out therethan when I was going through it
, but there is this huge gapwhere there's not accessibility
and care to a huge number ofpeople, and so they just feel
hopeless and they they've beentold nothing, that nothing that
you do is going to changeanything and let me just zero in
(29:18):
on that for a second, because Isee this all the time too is
that people really don't give itlong enough, like dietary
changes, supplements and thingslike that, and I know why.
I know why that is is becausethey're not sure that it's
working.
So if you love coffee and youwatch a reel of somebody saying
you should give up coffee andthey don't really, you don't
really understand why you shouldgive up coffee to get pregnant.
(29:41):
You're not going to last verylong because you are now not
getting pregnant, and that thingthat you're, that is a comfort
to you, is now gone.
And so it's this vicious cycleof shame and failure and
frustration and not knowing whatto do.
And that's kind of where I stepin and I say, hey, you know,
(30:01):
just like you, here's all theresearch about leaky gut and
microtoxins and mold and coffee,and you know, I'm not telling
you you can't have coffee, butmaybe we should just adjust when
you have your coffee.
Let's put these things in placeinstead, things like that.
And so I think it's just anincredibly frustrating process
(30:21):
for women who are not gettingsupport from a coach and knowing
exactly what they're doing iseffective.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
It's a lot to.
It's like a full-time job andI've actually talked with my
sister-in-law about this.
At when she you know, when shewent through it, we weren't as
close.
And then post, like she, shestarted the process again.
I sit there.
I was like she was telling melike the things she had to do
and the appointments and goingall these places, and I was like
I could never, I couldn't.
(30:51):
I was actually just telling youright before we hopped on to
record that I'm not signing mykids up for activities this year
because I'm like I can't do it,like I can't imagine doing that
.
And I'll even say this, like,even like for my current health
issues.
Like you know, I haveendometriosis that never
technically doesn't right.
Wait, hold on.
You're going to like thistechnically never goes away.
They tell you there's nothingyou can do.
You have to have a hysterectomy.
(31:12):
That's what I was told last.
I was having incredible painlast year and they were like
hysterectomy sounds like it'sgoing to be right for you,
you're done having kids anyway.
And I was.
I was freaked out because I'mlike I work in this space.
I know it's okay.
I was scared, like to beperfectly frank, I was scared so
I didn't at the time.
I couldn't afford it because ofthe agency I was with.
(31:34):
The insurance was really awfuland I didn't have any.
I didn't have enough time offto cover the.
You know all the stuff Right?
Well, you'll appreciate this.
This is actually a little bitfunny.
I have that in the back of mymind.
I have this endometriosissituation and then I also I'm in
my early forties, so I'm goingthrough perimenopause at the
same time and I'm like I'mfeeling sluggish, I feel like
(31:56):
crap.
I also find out at the sametime that I'm anemic.
So I'm trying to like figureall these things out.
And I have read I started doingresearch on, as we just said,
got to advocate for yourself.
So I started doing research onsupplements like what can I do
here?
So iron, obviously I'm takingiron supplements, like I have to
do that.
Iron supplements, like I haveto do that.
And I think you know that'spart and parcel because I'm
(32:16):
vegetarian, like I need tobalance myself.
So then, for the perimenopause,I'm like I had read magnesium
glycinate, like this is this iswhat you need, jen, you're
probably deficient, start takingthat.
So I started taking it and then, like three months later or so
I noticed my cycles are not aspainful and I was like, well,
that's kind of odd.
Like all of a sudden, myendometriosis is not bothering
(32:37):
me anymore, like I wonder whathappened here.
Well then I looked it up.
Magnesium glycinate isincredibly helpful if you have
endometriosis, and I had no ideaand now I'm like super excited.
I just recommended it tosomebody.
I'm like this is amazing.
So the reason I'm telling thatlittle story there is because
you have to really push ityourself, like, and you might
(33:01):
stumble upon something, and thenit just works for you.
Everyone's case is alsodifferent, so I want to say that
too.
Yeah, I flashed Erica's website.
I'm going to push it againCause I would like you guys to
visit her website, because ifyou reach out to her and you
start engaging with Erica, oneof the first things is like
everyone's story is different,everyone's journey is different.
(33:21):
Like what she said earlier, thedoctors are not deep, diving
into the personal, the wholehistory they only have and I'm
going to share this.
I don't think everybody isaware of this Physicians usually
only have an allotted amount oftime that they're allowed to
spend per patient, per insuranceregulations.
Not a lot of people are awareof that and they're like why
(33:43):
does my doctor run out of theroom?
I only get a couple of minuteswith them.
That's actually why you're onlygiven 10 minutes time slots, so
they race in and out.
So it's really going to be a lotmore discussion.
And this is where Erica comesin.
Yeah, like, let's pull thethreads.
What is your story and how arewe going to make something
(34:04):
that's customized for you, thatis going to support you in this
journey?
And, eric, I talked for youthere a bunch, but that's what I
was thinking the entire timeyou were talking.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah, well, the way and I want to talk about about
protocol, if you don't mind,because it was like I want to
kind of circle back to that.
But the way that it kind ofworks is, you know, I want to
make sure that I can help you.
I don't want to waste anybody'stime, so I do a 15 minute call,
I make sure that I can help you, ask you a few questions and
then I send out a form and it'sa pretty extensive form of 30
(34:35):
questions about your testing,about your diet and lifestyle
changes and about basically thegaps that I can see.
You know, to point you to anext step.
You know whether that'sadditional testing or what have
you, and that's all completelyfree.
And then it's what systems canwe put in place to support you?
And that's where the programcomes in.
(34:57):
So it's like a three month eggrehab program is what I call it.
It's the Nurture Path FertilityIncubator.
So that is going to walk youthrough and handhold you step by
step.
It's just short little videos,because everyone's super busy,
you know of how to make and havethose diet and lifestyle
changes and the why behind it,and it tracks with you, with
(35:19):
your cycle, because there's ahuge emotional component.
So we address that during yourmenstrual cycle when you're
upset, angry, frustrated,because now you've gotten your
period again, you're notpregnant again.
So we can kind of go into thenext cycle with a clean slate
instead of stuffing all of thoseemotions down.
But that's kind of how it works.
(35:39):
It's a little bit of adetective work and then just
knowing, like I talked aboutbefore, that what you're doing
is the right step to supportyour body, to improve your egg
quality, to make the changes andthe why behind it, and then
coping tools, 100% coping tools.
But when you were talking aboutprotocols, yes, there is that
(36:00):
oversight where everybody getsthe protocol.
But I just realized this abouta year ago I had partnered with
a reproductive endocrinologistand he was telling me that now
there's only three or four,there's hardly any independent
reproductive medicine offices.
They're they're corporatelyowned by conglomerate groups.
(36:24):
So they might be branded asdifferent air quotes, different
offices, but they're owned byconglomerate groups and they
control the protocol based on,you know, numbers and stats and
things like that.
And it's really hard to go gooff that path.
The doctors get in trouble forgoing off that path.
(36:45):
They really have to push backagainst their own system and
their own employers to givepersonalized care.
So just keep that in mind.
Like, sometimes, the doctor isnot just being a jerk.
You know, when you ask for atest, you have to have a doctor
that's willing to stick his neckout for you.
This doctor in Tampa, on theWest Coast of Florida, he works
(37:07):
for Shady Grove, but he is that.
He is that doctor that'swilling to go to bat for you,
change your protocol and thingslike that in order to get you.
You know he takes all the toughcases in order to get you where
you, where you need to be, andnot just keep doing the same
protocol over and over again,which is literally the
definition of insanity, right,I'm glad you said that, because
(37:28):
that that's that I.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I have a respect for our medical professionals.
I need them, we do.
We need them.
But you're right, like they aresometimes like put into a
position where, like they'rejust not allowed to and they
they might even get in troubleto guide you outside, like,
because then it's also openingthem up for like a lawsuit and
this, and that, like there's somany levels of complication,
(37:50):
unfortunately to our system,that it prevents the patient
from being like the top of mind.
One other thing I want to touchon with you too is your book
series.
So Erica has a book series.
So if you're not quite ready toreach out directly and if
you're nervous about it, ericaactually has a really wonderful
(38:10):
book series available on Amazon.
I have the link up now and I'llpush it again.
We talked a little bit about itin the beginning, where I said,
like how did you know?
Or in the middle there, how didyou know you wanted to start
putting things into books.
So the books, how you haveabout what?
Four books is it?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, the infertility success book series is a four
part series and the first twobooks deal exclusively with
infertility stories and bookthree is about a postpartum
journey after infertility.
And then book four is a faithjourney during and after
(38:46):
infertility, kind of shining alight in those dark places where
people feel shame and theycan't really have these
conversations openly about thosetopics.
So they're all told from thelens, though, not just like hey,
let me tell you my story as amemoir.
No, the authors really pouredthemselves into these chapters
and said not just like hey, letme tell you my story as a memoir
.
No, the authors really pouredthemselves into these chapters
and said at this point man, Iwish someone had told me to ask
(39:06):
this question right now, beforeI had this procedure or this
test, so I wouldn't make thismistake because the outcome was
not good.
You know there were people thatdid all the stories.
Some was not good.
You know there were people thatdid all the stories.
It's a compilation, so thestories are, you know, really
varied.
Each author had their own path,as you mentioned.
Some of them were reproductivemedicine, some of them were raw
(39:28):
food diet, some of them were,you know, iui, secondary
infertility.
My own story is there, you knowwhere I couldn't do IVF.
So there's just a variety ofstories so that each author
could connect with somebodybased on kind of what they're
(39:49):
going through, you know, getsome help.
And they're really great toofor understanding, you know, for
family members to understandwhat the mindset is of someone
going through the infertilityprocess, because I think people
would be shocked to hear someonegoing through infertility or
their family member say I toldmy husband that he should
divorce me and just go findsomebody else that can give him
a family, because I can't givehim the family that he deserves.
(40:12):
That's the level of deepdespair and shame that these
women vulnerably share theirstories and I just think that
it's a really great way forpeople to understand, you know,
what somebody in their familymight be going through.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
You know that that's a good segue.
I have one final question foryou, as somebody who hasn't had
to experience this.
If, what is it that someonefrom the outside can do or say
when they know they have afamily member or a friend who's
struggling with infertility?
Because this is an area wherethere is a tremendous amount of
shame and I think, because wealso don't know how to react,
(40:51):
that that's part of the problem,and I want to ask the question
what could I say or what could Ido, to just say like I'm here
for you, I don't understand whatyou're going through, and what
is it that somebody on theoutside looking in could do?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Yeah, instead of you know, trying to figure out the
right thing to say, I would justoffer your support.
Hey, I know that you have aprocedure coming up.
Is there anything that I can doto support you?
Can I bring you a meal thatnight?
Can I drive you to the office,you know, is there anything that
I can do to support you?
And just let them kind of takethe lead on that, because so
(41:27):
often people go inward, becauseyou know people try to.
You know it's the toxicpositivity, right, and everybody
means well.
But if you don't understand thementality of someone that would
tell their husband that theylove to divorce them or that,
you know people say things likeyou know, they just dismiss the
(41:50):
feeling, right.
So I would just say anythingthat you do, don't dismiss their
feelings about it, don't glossover the feelings.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Identify that.
This is ridiculously hard andyou can't imagine what they're
going through.
And just if you're listening tothis on podcasts, you can watch
the full interview on YouTube.
It'll be featured there as well, with all of Erica's links.
Erica, thank you so much forjoining me today and to sharing
your story and for what you'redoing to help women.
It's a huge, huge thing.
(42:31):
So thank you for what you'redoing.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Thank you for being available for me to get my
message out.
I hope that there are somewomen out there listening that
this was exactly what theyneeded today.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I hope so too, so listeners, reach out to Erica if
you're looking for support.
Thank you so much for beinghere with us today, and we will
catch you on the next one.
Take care.
Hello everybody, this is Steel Roses podcast.
This podcast was created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I am very excited to introduceeverybody today to our guest,
erica Hope.
She is a natural fertilitycoach who has guided countless
women through infertility withcompassion, expertise and proven
strategies.
Erica combines her deepunderstanding of how toxins
(00:21):
impact fertility health withinsights into often overlooked
medical tests, targetednutritional changes and powerful
stress management tools.
Her holistic fertility coachingfocuses on the physical, mental
, emotional and environmentalfactors that can make all the
difference when you're trying toconceive.
Whether you want to conceivenaturally or improve your IVF
success rates, erica'spersonalized approach will help
you feel informed, empowered andsupported every step of the way
(00:44):
.
Erica, welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for having me.
So I know that I know I said alot, but I wanted to I wanted
the listeners to reallyunderstand, like where you were
coming from.
I would love for you to shareyour story with the listeners,
how you ended up with this focus, and then we'll kind of just
take it from there.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Okay, yeah, thanks for having me on, jenny.
Well, I guess the best place tostart is the beginning, and
that is with my cycles, you know, as a teenager.
Shortly after I started gettingmy period, they just got
progressively worse and whatthat looked like was vomiting on
the first day of my cycle,terrible pain, uncontrollable
(01:22):
bleeding.
And then it just kind ofprogressed from there for 12
years.
12 years to get my firstdiagnosis.
So that was stage four,endometriosis.
So all in all I ended up withseven different what I say is
like infertility or fertilityinhibiting diagnosis.
So by the age of 35, I hadaccumulated most of these, I had
(01:46):
gotten married.
I knew that.
I knew that I was going to havechallenges, right Like I had a
history of all of these problems.
But I kind of felt, likeeverybody does, that IVF would
be my backup plan, right, likeI've got all these things going
on, but IVF is going to be mybackup plan.
And then it wasn't.
Then my plan B did not work outand I was told at the age of 35
(02:12):
that I couldn't do IVF, that Iwould need donor eggs and that I
had a less than 1% chance ofconceiving on my own Well.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So from the beginning you had mentioned, like in the
beginning, your cycles werereally awful.
So I actually have a questionhere for you, because I think
this happens quite a bit and Iknow I have endometriosis as
well, so I know that you knowit's something that's hereditary
, it's passed down and what endsup happening is that within
families, because all the womenhave it, they don't realize that
(02:45):
this is not actually supposedto be happening.
You're not supposed to bevomiting during your period.
And actually, what a blanketstatement is for everyone who's
listening.
If you, when you have yourcycle, have incredibly heavy
flow to the point where you haveto use a tampon, a pad, and
you're still going all the waythrough, that's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yep, yeah, and it's totally the normalizing of
dysfunction right On a lot ofdifferent levels.
Like you mentioned, familial,you know, it's like well, that's
how my cycle is, and so it'snormalized, especially in
previous generations wherepeople really just didn't even
talk about their periods, right,you know, they had nothing to
compare it to.
(03:23):
At least now we're having theconversation, but back then they
were like I don't know, I'm notgoing to ask anybody about that
, so it was just normalized.
But then also in the medicalcommunity, that level of
dysfunction and distress in apatient, it does not raise a red
flag, necessarily no doctor, apatient it does not raise a red
(03:47):
flag necessarily Like no doctor,unless you push for additional
testing or you push for ananswer, is going to send you for
anything.
And so in my case, endometriosis, as you probably know, I don't
know how long it took you, but12 years is about the average to
get a diagnosis.
But the thing that alwayssticks in my mind is I wanted
them so badly to tell me that Ihad endometriosis without going
through surgery.
And I want your listeners tounderstand they cannot do that,
(04:10):
they are not allowed to do that.
They will not diagnose youwithout surgery.
And so by the time that I gotto the point where I'm like I
don't know do the surgery.
I'm I'm like a hot mess overhere, I'm like not functional.
Then it was stage four and it'sso incredibly frustrating.
Now there are blood tests.
(04:32):
I will say that, like in thepast few years, there are some
blood tests that have come upthat you can get at least some
screening and give you a betteridea of whether or not you have
endometriosis without havinglaparoscopic surgery.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
So the blood test and I just want to the reference
medical person in me wants to belike.
So the blood test that Erica isreferring to, it's called the
CA-125 test and it's sometimesused to indicate the possibility
of the condition.
But they will still likedefinitively say yeah, like
they'll definitively say doc.
the healthcare community willsay, like we really don't know,
(05:09):
we have to go inside and look.
My diagnosis was by accidentbecause I was getting.
I vaguely remember, you know,my early years of my cycle and
it being painful, but again mymom said oh yeah, your aunts
were like that too, you know,and you know, I didn't even
(05:30):
realize it until, like I was anadult, but my mom had uterine
fibroids.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
She didn't know that that's what it was.
You know, like she had fibroidsand endometriosis probably, but
she didn't know.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
And she and she still to this day, like I said, I had
endometriosis and she still waslike, oh you know, they're all
on menopause, Like.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
They're like, oh well , Well, and they just had
hysterectomies.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
That was the solution back then they just yanked
everything out.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yep, they just yanked it out.
We can't fix you.
You've got this problem.
We'll just solve it withsurgery.
So I think it's not bad genesthat is causing this.
It is the fact that this is howyour body handles your
(06:12):
environment.
Because of a methylation issue,because of whatever.
It's not an inevitable thing.
It's a response to your foodand your environment and your
toxins and things like that.
You can break that, but youhave to do something different
than your family and how youwere raised.
(06:33):
You have to address itdifferently.
You can't just keep doing thesame thing.
So in my case, taking theNSAIDs and stuff was actually
making everything so much worsebecause I have a methylation
problems.
That's a long rabbit hole thatI don't even know that I can
unwind right this second.
(06:53):
But what I'm saying is it'sflows and families.
Because your mom treated it acertain way, she's telling you
to treat it the same way or youknow your exposure is the same,
not necessarily because it isquote unquote hereditary.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So listeners outside of the discussion with Erica, I
wholeheartedly believe that, yes, while they'll say exactly what
Erica just said, this is acrossall disease States, and I want
to get back to Erica's story.
But I want to just make thisstatement because it's in line
with, I think, what she's goingto talk about Across disease
states.
You will be told this ishereditary, I've been told.
You have, your family has ahistory of diabetes, a history
(07:36):
of high blood pressure and ahistory of heart disease.
You're going to get it.
It's going to happen.
You have to be careful and Iactually I'm a vegetarian.
I chose to go vegetarian exactlyfor I think a lot, for a lot of
what Erica's about to talkabout, because of toxins and
things that are in our foodsthat we don't, we're not aware
of as much and we don't control,and there's pesticides and all
(07:57):
kinds of things that are goinginto our food supply.
That is affecting us on acellular level and because we're
being exposed our entire livesto them, it is affecting
everything.
Now, an example really is, likeyou know, of young people going
through puberty much earlier.
Well, it's because there's somuch hormones being injected
into the foods that it iscausing young people to get
(08:19):
their period sooner.
Like I had to take my kids tothe urgent care the other day
for ear infections and it was mytwins, my twin girls, and the
doctor was like, have theystarted menstruating yet?
They're eight.
I was like what?
Yeah, so I want to, I want tocircle back.
So you basically were told likeIVF is not going to work for you
.
Yeah, you know, you knew youhad endometriosis.
(08:42):
So you get based.
You're told you have a 1%chance of conceiving.
You're basically saying you'renot going to have kids, it's not
going to happen by you, right?
Well, your response in thatmoment, at this point, you're
probably like a research expert,because that's what you have to
do.
You have to advocate foryourself.
What was, what did you do atthis point?
What was your reaction?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Well, I think that a couple things happened before I
got to that point that I was.
My eyes were starting to beopened and I don't want to skip
over that.
So, like I said, I had sevendiagnosis.
So endometriosis was just oneof them.
I also had uterine fibroids,which you mentioned you had also
.
So it took me two failedlaparoscopic surgeries, and what
I mean by failed is they didlaparoscopy, they went in, they
said we don't see any fibroidsthat we could remove.
(09:29):
At that point I had to advocatewith my OBGYN and my
reproductive endocrinologist todo a third, different type of
surgery so that I could get somerelief.
I could get some relief.
Pregnancy was secondary to that, because I was having such
uncontrollable pain and flowthat I needed to address that
(09:50):
for my own health, aside frompregnancy.
But nobody was coming to me andsaying, well, we didn't find
this and you still aresymptomatic for that, so let's
do this.
No, I had to be like there'ssomething else.
You've got to be able to dosomething else for me.
What can we do next?
And it wasn't, it wasn't didn'tcome easy, right.
(10:10):
And so that was an eye openerfor me, because when they did
that surgery for the fibroids.
They did a saline infusedlaparoscopy, where they fill
your uterus with saline, andwhat happened with my particular
fibroids is that they were kindof embedded in the uterine wall
, so they float out instead ofretract.
Without going into a lot moredetail, yeah, yeah, and so they
(10:33):
took so many fibroids out.
It looked like a handful ofaquarium gravel.
So at that point I was like, wow, what if?
What if I didn't push?
No one was there telling methis is something that you can
do.
I had to push.
So when I got to the pointwhere they told me, listen,
you're hyper ovulating.
Because I want to, I want toflush this out a little bit too.
(10:56):
You're hyper ovulating and wecan't stimulate you for an egg
retrieval.
And oh, by the way, you havediminished ovarian reserves and
you don't have enough eggs forus to do a retrieval anyway, and
you're going to need donor eggsin order for you to get
pregnant.
That seed was already plantedin my mind that, okay, what else
(11:16):
aren't they telling me?
What else can I do?
So it was incredibly.
I don't want to gloss over thefact that it was incredibly
devastating.
It was traumatic.
It was a really hard thing tohear, because that is getting
the rug pulled out fromunderneath you, right?
Whether it's a diagnosis likemine or some other diagnosis
which totally takes your hopeand your choices away.
(11:37):
It was devastating.
So I sat in that for a minuteand I was like, well, okay,
we're not going to go the donoregg route until I exhaust all
other options and I don't knowwhat those options are, but I'm
going to find out what affectsfertility and I'm going to go
(11:58):
full in on that and see what Ican do to improve my chances of
getting pregnant naturally.
And it was things likeacupuncture for fertility.
It was things like personalizedtesting which, again, as a
consumer, so many of my clientscome to me and they will say to
me you hear all the time in theinfertility world, I've been
(12:19):
tested for everything.
I am a pin cushion, there isn'tone single task possible.
And I will tell you that is acomplete and utter lie.
I've not met one client or asingle person of my authors in
the infertility success seriesthat that was actually true.
It is a lie.
Everybody is a consumer and I'mgetting soapboxy this morning,
(12:42):
but everybody everybody, as aconsumer, thinks that when they
go into the reproductiveendocrinologist that they are
going to do a deep dive intotheir history and they're going
to look at all their labs andthey're going to figure out why
they have unexplainedinfertility or why they have
infertility.
And that is not what happens atall.
(13:03):
They do a protocol, which isit's a lab procedure, right,
they're doing lab process inorder to get you to conceive.
So I've said a lot, so I'lltake a breath there.
But that that's kind of whatlaunched my advocate myself
advocacy and kind of got theball rolling for me about making
(13:26):
the changes and toxins andsupplements and diet and all of
those things that I found weretrue, truly impacted fertility,
even though the medicalcommunity will tell you diet
doesn't matter, supplementsdon't matter, you can't change
the health of your eggs.
All of those things, they'reall complete lies.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It's interesting.
So you mentioned protocol and Iwant to clarify for the
listeners essentially whathappens every year, annually.
There's organizations in theUnited States that will release
their trusted organizations.
You can't see it If you'relistening to the podcast.
I just did a quote.
Air quote, air quoteustedorganizations that are meant to
(14:07):
be top of the top.
These are the top experts inthe field, across all disease
states.
This is true and theseorganizations will come through
and say you know, these are therules of care that we're
releasing this year.
We've updated them.
This is the standard of careand all doctors in these
(14:28):
particular disease states andagain it's across all of them
fall in line with what theprotocols were that were just
released and then they willfollow them to a T.
Now sometimes you get doctorsthat will follow it but then
also expand on it, and those arewonderful doctors, like really,
really great doctors.
But not everybody does that.
As Erica just said, a lot offolks will just look down the
(14:50):
list, check, check, check.
You know what you have allthese things not gonna be
possible for you.
We tried everything.
This is your lot in life.
What Erica is saying here isthis doesn't have to be.
You can continue to try and youactually can make changes.
And I will say this, like Imentioned earlier, that I've
been told like, oh, you're goingto have all these diseases,
it's going to happen to you.
I'm the only one in my familywho doesn't have high blood
pressure the only person andit's because of how I choose to
(15:12):
live my life and how I what Iconsume, and I know that, and
they're out of consuming there'sa lot of other things
holistically that I do.
So, erica, you're told, you'rebasically told there's no hope.
You have to advocate foryourself.
So you started to go down thisrabbit hole of research.
Now, when you were goingthrough this and I want to
highlight this how often bymedical professionals were you
(15:35):
told like this isn't real, thisdoesn't make sense what you're
saying?
Or you got pushed back, or theywere telling you like well, you
know, I'm the physician here.
There's a lot of women that areintimidated, and even myself
included.
I get intimidated by thedoctors too, even though I know
what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
They throw things out there and I'm like, well
they're.
You know, my family very muchis like, oh well, that's the
medical professional.
We have to do what they say.
They said it and that's notnecessarily the case, and I
think that's what you found here, Like you were able to do more
for yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah.
So a lot of tabs open in myhead right now.
So I guess what I want to startoff by saying is, if you don't
fix these foundational things,nothing that you do is going to
be as successful as it could be.
I'm not anti-medicine.
I consider what I do as abridge between holistic care and
the medical community.
(16:24):
Because here is the breakdownthey are not holistic, they are
not whole person minded, theyare not root cause minded.
Okay, so let's just, let's justcategorize it as that is, that,
accept that for what it is.
You know that it doesn't makethem wrong.
It's just not what they do.
It's not what they were trainedto do.
It's not what they were trainedto do.
(16:45):
It's not how they were trainedto do it.
So if you want someone who'sgoing to take a holistic
approach, you have to providethat care for yourself.
You either have to find, youhave to find those resources
yourself.
So whether it's like youmentioned, whether it's
infertility or whether it'sanother you know, hereditary
disease.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So I and it's okay because there's I think you know
there's so much to say aboutthis topic that it's it's very
hard to even like hone it in andlike pick the certain elements.
One thing I want to touch on,because I don't want to discount
this, was the emotional elementof what you were going through.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
So we're cause, we're very we're talking very like
statistically of like this is it?
And this is how you know, makesure you advocate for yourself.
But I, I haven't experienced itat all, but I do have relatives
that had gone through verytraumatic infertility
experiences and had to, and, andyou know, everyone has kids now
happy and healthy.
(17:46):
Everyone had to go down theirown paths for it.
You know, and so I am.
I don't know if you're going tobe able to answer this, but how
did you find the strengthwithin to say, like I'm not
going to accept the diagnosisthat you're telling me.
I am going to continue to lookat this Like how did you find it
in yourself to continue to godown that path?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I would say I found it outside of myself because in
my own strength, I would havefelt I relied heavily on my
faith.
In my own strength, I wouldhave felt I relied heavily on my
faith.
As a matter of fact, I'mlooking here at a sticker that I
used to say to myself, like alittle verse from the Bible that
I used to say myself, which iscounted all as joy, and what
that means to me and what thatmeant to me, is that this is for
(18:29):
a purpose, and the purpose isis that I would be a much sicker
mother.
Maybe I would have never been amother, but I would be a sicker
mother if I had managed to getpregnant on my own without
making these changes.
I don't think that I would have.
And also generationally, whichcircles us way back to the
beginning of the conversation Iam now able to help my kids and
(18:51):
say to them hey, you can't liveyour life like this, because
this is the health pattern thatwe need to put into place so
that you will be healthy.
I'm going to answer circle backto the first question that we
were talking about, which isself-advocacy, and then also
emotional support.
How do you go aboutself-advocacy in the medical
(19:13):
community.
I think that you just have toknow intuitively that you live
in your body.
You're the expert in your body.
So even if they have a degreein a white coat, nobody knows
your body like yourself.
You don't need to Google thatright.
So just standing up foryourself and not letting someone
dismiss your symptoms, dismisshow you're feeling, that can
(19:36):
just be the first step.
It is something that I coach myclients through all the time is
having those conversations andwhy it's important to have that
self-belief.
But let's just say, if I wasgetting giving a tip of the day
in that area, that is what Iwould say to start with, because
you can't be intimidated ortalk down to about you know,
your Google, research orwhatever when you're talking
(19:58):
about your symptoms, how youfeel and things like that.
Just honor yourself and honorwhat's going on in your body and
approach it from that direction.
You know, if somebody takesoffense of that, maybe you do
need another doctor.
But the emotional part issomething that is so important.
The emotional key is not justemotional, because if you can't
(20:20):
cope, you can't continue.
That's just flat out the bottomline.
You have to put some copingmechanisms in place so that you
can make it through thisinfertility journey.
So what that looked like for mewas it was talk therapy it was
using the resources of my faith.
But there are also.
What that looked like for mewas it was talk therapy, it was
using the resources of my faith,but there are also things that
I've learned that I share withmy clients now, which is things
(20:41):
like tapping TRE method.
Tapping where you connect withthe emotion that you're feeling,
and if you're not familiar withthat, it's something.
The reason that I love it isbecause what I call it my pocket
.
Actually, I have a practitionerthat provides all this
information in my program andshe's the expert in that.
(21:01):
But you identify the emotionand then you process it and you
have these things that you can.
You know, when you get yournegative pregnancy test or you
get that call from the IVFclinic that your you know
embryos didn't make it, you cango to your car, you can go in
the bathroom and, instead ofstuffing those feelings down,
you can process them in themoment and then go on with your
(21:22):
day, which is so importantbecause this is a 30-day cycle
or 28-day cycle process, and ifyou are constantly stuffing your
emotions down.
Then, once you do get pregnant,once you do bring that baby
home, once you do take thepressure off and release that
pressure off the valve, so tospeak, then a whole lot of stuff
(21:44):
is going to come out and it'snot going to be pretty.
So we don't want that to happen.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You know.
I want to highlight what you'retalking about here because this
is like a personal practice andsomething I'm teaching my kids
like.
If you said, like now that Iknow what I know, yeah, I
started teaching these guyssince they've been little like
how to process their emotions.
What I don't think a lot ofpeople realize, and maybe they
just think it's dumb for lack ofa better word yeah, um, is when
(22:11):
you don't acknowledgeemotionally what you're going
through.
You don't acknowledgeemotionally what you're going
through, you don't acknowledgethe feeling and you, like Erica
said, stuff it back in.
That actually continues to eataway at you and, energetically,
your vibrational energy, and I'mgoing to get a little like it's
going to sound woo-woo, butlet's just before you even go
there.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
This is all rooted in science, thank you, I was going
to say that next it's allphysiological rooted, so you're
probably going to talk about thefrequency and the energy part
of it, but this is all.
Converts into cortisol levelsand hormone levels and your
body's ability to process thatwhat.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Eric is talking about .
There is actual scientificresearch and data.
This is not total BS, and Iwill say and let me just make
this statement I work in science, I work in research, I work
with pharmaceutical companies.
That is what I do for a living.
So I am very much.
(23:11):
Even though Erica mentioned ablood test earlier, I went right
away to look it up to make sureI had a good reference.
I am a reference person.
If there is not something toback it up, then I'm going to be
like all right, I can't reallytake this at its word.
What we're talking about hereis actual backed up by science,
but it's just science that's notpromoted out there because
nobody wants.
They don't want to take awaythe monies, right.
So this is all real legitimatestuff.
(23:32):
Now, outside of the, you knowyour energy level, which I know
some people can't.
It's hard for a lot of folks towrap their head around that.
You know your vibrationalenergy is incredibly important
to your whole well being.
So that's one thing like makingsure that you're maintaining
your emotional energy and not,you know, having any toxic like
energy in you Physically.
I'm curious did you shift yourdiet and what you were consuming
(23:55):
in this?
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, and the literal translation of what you're
talking about.
And what I'm talking about isinflammation.
That's the little translationin your body.
So, yeah, I made, I made dietchanges.
You know, if you had asked meat the time, I would have been
like oh, I eat, I eat salads,I'm healthy, you know.
But I was really eating astandard American diet and not a
lot of organics, which meantthat I was consuming a lot of
(24:21):
pesticide, a lot of hormones inthe meats and things like that.
And so making those changes,because I didn't know at the
time that I had a methylationproblem.
I'm not going to do a deep diveinto this, but I had MTHFR,
which I didn't really even learnuntil after I had given birth
(24:42):
to all of my kids.
But all the things that I wasdoing in order to help my body
was basically linked to that.
So removing the toxins,changing and improving my diet,
but then also the acupuncture,contributes to all that too, at
a cellular level, at an organlevel, and so all that, all
those things that I, all thosethings that I put in place to
(25:03):
support myself, were because ofthat methylation problem which,
I was told, up to 80% of thepopulation is a carrier of at
least one of that.
One of the geneticists told usthat, so I wouldn't be surprised
I.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I had my one of my sister-in-laws she, she went
through just the hoops she hadto jump through to conceive and
then my niece ended up beingborn.
She was about two months earlier, so she was yeah, she's healthy
, happy now, but it was veryscary in that moment.
She didn't quite my.
My sister-in-law didn't findout until later on that she had
a gene mutation uh, incrediblyrare um, that caused infertility
(25:41):
.
So her daughter, quiteliterally, cause she didn't know
about this, her daughter, quiteliterally, is a miracle.
It's a miracle that she's evenhere because, based on her
medical like state, based onscience, she should have never
conceived.
But I will say this she went to, she didn't go through medical,
traditional medical, she wentthrough holistic and homeopathic
(26:02):
.
She and and that's how she wasable to conceive.
Yeah, it took a lot, it tookher years to be able to get
there, but she was eventuallyable to do it.
Um, there's so many things totouch on, so I'm trying, I'm
trying to like everything forthe listeners.
Yeah, so we talked about youknow you get this, this 1%
basically diagnosis, like it'snot going to happen for you
(26:24):
Emotionally.
You started addressing the youknow the emotions making sure
you're addressing the cortisolso that way you're not having
that inflammation.
You did have some dietarychanges I'm going to assume you
know, because obviously wetalked about that and then you
had the will and the strength tocontinue on.
So once, at what point did youknow I'd like to use this to
help other people.
I've gone through this, otherpeople must be going through
(26:45):
this.
At what point did you start tothink to yourself I think I can
help other people.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, I think it was just I started telling people my
story and I, you know, I hadthree children under three years
old, so I had, you know, myoldest really close together.
So kind of.
When I was able to come up forair and I started participating
again in the Facebookcommunities, the trying to
conceive communities, and kindof sharing my story, kind of
(27:16):
sharing my story, I realizedthat there's so many women out
there that just don't have anyhope and they don't know
anything else to do except forIVF.
And like we've talked about youknow you can go on one of the
dot govs and it will say make itless likely to conceive,
hormone and endocrine disruptors, make it less likely to
conceive naturally and make itharder for your IVF to work.
(27:36):
Like that's on thegov.
They know that that's out therebut nobody is telling these
women.
And there's a woman out thereand I often say when I do
podcasts like I'm really talkingto that one woman out there who
is just can't do IVF.
Maybe she can't afford IVF,let's be real about that and she
just feels devastated becausenobody's talking about what else
(28:01):
you can do, how you canactually help yourself a lot to
be successful and conceive,naturally outside of IVF.
So I really do this as amission to help that one person,
that one woman who just feelsutterly hopeless, like there is
nothing that she can do outsideof reproductive medicine to get
pregnant.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
You know I've thought about that quite a bit, because
IVF is not that it's notcovered by insurance.
Right Like this is notsomething that's like yeah, it's
that it's so much to go throughand then to be trying to
continue to bang on that wallwhen it's like truly is a wall.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
There are people that are mortgaging their house.
There are people that once theydo get pregnant and conceive,
they have six figures worth ofbills that they can't.
You know.
They have very little maternityleave.
Now they have kids, but nowthey have the expenses of child
care.
They can't quit their job.
It's really.
It's really a mess, and it isgetting better.
The insurance companies arecovering, you know, more
(28:58):
procedures.
There is more help out therethan when I was going through it
, but there is this huge gapwhere there's not accessibility
and care to a huge number ofpeople, and so they just feel
hopeless and they they've beentold nothing, that nothing that
you do is going to changeanything and let me just zero in
(29:18):
on that for a second, because Isee this all the time too is
that people really don't give itlong enough, like dietary
changes, supplements and thingslike that, and I know why.
I know why that is is becausethey're not sure that it's
working.
So if you love coffee and youwatch a reel of somebody saying
you should give up coffee andthey don't really, you don't
really understand why you shouldgive up coffee to get pregnant.
(29:41):
You're not going to last verylong because you are now not
getting pregnant, and that thingthat you're, that is a comfort
to you, is now gone.
And so it's this vicious cycleof shame and failure and
frustration and not knowing whatto do.
And that's kind of where I stepin and I say, hey, you know,
(30:01):
just like you, here's all theresearch about leaky gut and
microtoxins and mold and coffee,and you know, I'm not telling
you you can't have coffee, butmaybe we should just adjust when
you have your coffee.
Let's put these things in placeinstead, things like that.
And so I think it's just anincredibly frustrating process
(30:21):
for women who are not gettingsupport from a coach and knowing
exactly what they're doing iseffective.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
It's a lot to.
It's like a full-time job andI've actually talked with my
sister-in-law about this.
At when she you know, when shewent through it, we weren't as
close.
And then post, like she, shestarted the process again.
I sit there.
I was like she was telling melike the things she had to do
and the appointments and goingall these places, and I was like
I could never, I couldn't.
(30:51):
I was actually just telling youright before we hopped on to
record that I'm not signing mykids up for activities this year
because I'm like I can't do it,like I can't imagine doing that
.
And I'll even say this, like,even like for my current health
issues.
Like you know, I haveendometriosis that never
technically doesn't right.
Wait, hold on.
You're going to like thistechnically never goes away.
They tell you there's nothingyou can do.
You have to have a hysterectomy.
(31:12):
That's what I was told last.
I was having incredible painlast year and they were like
hysterectomy sounds like it'sgoing to be right for you,
you're done having kids anyway.
And I was.
I was freaked out because I'mlike I work in this space.
I know it's okay.
I was scared, like to beperfectly frank, I was scared so
I didn't at the time.
I couldn't afford it because ofthe agency I was with.
(31:34):
The insurance was really awfuland I didn't have any.
I didn't have enough time offto cover the.
You know all the stuff Right?
Well, you'll appreciate this.
This is actually a little bitfunny.
I have that in the back of mymind.
I have this endometriosissituation and then I also I'm in
my early forties, so I'm goingthrough perimenopause at the
same time and I'm like I'mfeeling sluggish, I feel like
(31:56):
crap.
I also find out at the sametime that I'm anemic.
So I'm trying to like figureall these things out.
And I have read I started doingresearch on, as we just said,
got to advocate for yourself.
So I started doing research onsupplements like what can I do
here?
So iron, obviously I'm takingiron supplements, like I have to
do that.
Iron supplements, like I haveto do that.
And I think you know that'spart and parcel because I'm
(32:16):
vegetarian, like I need tobalance myself.
So then, for the perimenopause,I'm like I had read magnesium
glycinate, like this is this iswhat you need, jen, you're
probably deficient, start takingthat.
So I started taking it and then, like three months later or so
I noticed my cycles are not aspainful and I was like, well,
that's kind of odd.
Like all of a sudden, myendometriosis is not bothering
(32:37):
me anymore, like I wonder whathappened here.
Well then I looked it up.
Magnesium glycinate isincredibly helpful if you have
endometriosis, and I had no ideaand now I'm like super excited.
I just recommended it tosomebody.
I'm like this is amazing.
So the reason I'm telling thatlittle story there is because
you have to really push ityourself, like, and you might
(33:01):
stumble upon something, and thenit just works for you.
Everyone's case is alsodifferent, so I want to say that
too.
Yeah, I flashed Erica's website.
I'm going to push it againCause I would like you guys to
visit her website, because ifyou reach out to her and you
start engaging with Erica, oneof the first things is like
everyone's story is different,everyone's journey is different.
(33:21):
Like what she said earlier, thedoctors are not deep, diving
into the personal, the wholehistory they only have and I'm
going to share this.
I don't think everybody isaware of this Physicians usually
only have an allotted amount oftime that they're allowed to
spend per patient, per insuranceregulations.
Not a lot of people are awareof that and they're like why
(33:43):
does my doctor run out of theroom?
I only get a couple of minuteswith them.
That's actually why you're onlygiven 10 minutes time slots, so
they race in and out.
So it's really going to be a lotmore discussion.
And this is where Erica comesin.
Yeah, like, let's pull thethreads.
What is your story and how arewe going to make something
(34:04):
that's customized for you, thatis going to support you in this
journey?
And, eric, I talked for youthere a bunch, but that's what I
was thinking the entire timeyou were talking.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah, well, the way and I want to talk about about
protocol, if you don't mind,because it was like I want to
kind of circle back to that.
But the way that it kind ofworks is, you know, I want to
make sure that I can help you.
I don't want to waste anybody'stime, so I do a 15 minute call,
I make sure that I can help you, ask you a few questions and
then I send out a form and it'sa pretty extensive form of 30
(34:35):
questions about your testing,about your diet and lifestyle
changes and about basically thegaps that I can see.
You know, to point you to anext step.
You know whether that'sadditional testing or what have
you, and that's all completelyfree.
And then it's what systems canwe put in place to support you?
And that's where the programcomes in.
(34:57):
So it's like a three month eggrehab program is what I call it.
It's the Nurture Path FertilityIncubator.
So that is going to walk youthrough and handhold you step by
step.
It's just short little videos,because everyone's super busy,
you know of how to make and havethose diet and lifestyle
changes and the why behind it,and it tracks with you, with
(35:19):
your cycle, because there's ahuge emotional component.
So we address that during yourmenstrual cycle when you're
upset, angry, frustrated,because now you've gotten your
period again, you're notpregnant again.
So we can kind of go into thenext cycle with a clean slate
instead of stuffing all of thoseemotions down.
But that's kind of how it works.
(35:39):
It's a little bit of adetective work and then just
knowing, like I talked aboutbefore, that what you're doing
is the right step to supportyour body, to improve your egg
quality, to make the changes andthe why behind it, and then
coping tools, 100% coping tools.
But when you were talking aboutprotocols, yes, there is that
(36:00):
oversight where everybody getsthe protocol.
But I just realized this abouta year ago I had partnered with
a reproductive endocrinologistand he was telling me that now
there's only three or four,there's hardly any independent
reproductive medicine offices.
They're they're corporatelyowned by conglomerate groups.
(36:24):
So they might be branded asdifferent air quotes, different
offices, but they're owned byconglomerate groups and they
control the protocol based on,you know, numbers and stats and
things like that.
And it's really hard to go gooff that path.
The doctors get in trouble forgoing off that path.
(36:45):
They really have to push backagainst their own system and
their own employers to givepersonalized care.
So just keep that in mind.
Like, sometimes, the doctor isnot just being a jerk.
You know, when you ask for atest, you have to have a doctor
that's willing to stick his neckout for you.
This doctor in Tampa, on theWest Coast of Florida, he works
(37:07):
for Shady Grove, but he is that.
He is that doctor that'swilling to go to bat for you,
change your protocol and thingslike that in order to get you.
You know he takes all the toughcases in order to get you where
you, where you need to be, andnot just keep doing the same
protocol over and over again,which is literally the
definition of insanity, right,I'm glad you said that, because
(37:28):
that that's that I.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I have a respect for our medical professionals.
I need them, we do.
We need them.
But you're right, like they aresometimes like put into a
position where, like they'rejust not allowed to and they
they might even get in troubleto guide you outside, like,
because then it's also openingthem up for like a lawsuit and
this, and that, like there's somany levels of complication,
(37:50):
unfortunately to our system,that it prevents the patient
from being like the top of mind.
One other thing I want to touchon with you too is your book
series.
So Erica has a book series.
So if you're not quite ready toreach out directly and if
you're nervous about it, ericaactually has a really wonderful
(38:10):
book series available on Amazon.
I have the link up now and I'llpush it again.
We talked a little bit about itin the beginning, where I said,
like how did you know?
Or in the middle there, how didyou know you wanted to start
putting things into books.
So the books, how you haveabout what?
Four books is it?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, the infertility success book series is a four
part series and the first twobooks deal exclusively with
infertility stories and bookthree is about a postpartum
journey after infertility.
And then book four is a faithjourney during and after
(38:46):
infertility, kind of shining alight in those dark places where
people feel shame and theycan't really have these
conversations openly about thosetopics.
So they're all told from thelens, though, not just like hey,
let me tell you my story as amemoir.
No, the authors really pouredthemselves into these chapters
and said not just like hey, letme tell you my story as a memoir
.
No, the authors really pouredthemselves into these chapters
and said at this point man, Iwish someone had told me to ask
(39:06):
this question right now, beforeI had this procedure or this
test, so I wouldn't make thismistake because the outcome was
not good.
You know there were people thatdid all the stories.
Some was not good.
You know there were people thatdid all the stories.
It's a compilation, so thestories are, you know, really
varied.
Each author had their own path,as you mentioned.
Some of them were reproductivemedicine, some of them were raw
(39:28):
food diet, some of them were,you know, iui, secondary
infertility.
My own story is there, you knowwhere I couldn't do IVF.
So there's just a variety ofstories so that each author
could connect with somebodybased on kind of what they're
(39:49):
going through, you know, getsome help.
And they're really great toofor understanding, you know, for
family members to understandwhat the mindset is of someone
going through the infertilityprocess, because I think people
would be shocked to hear someonegoing through infertility or
their family member say I toldmy husband that he should
divorce me and just go findsomebody else that can give him
a family, because I can't givehim the family that he deserves.
(40:12):
That's the level of deepdespair and shame that these
women vulnerably share theirstories and I just think that
it's a really great way forpeople to understand, you know,
what somebody in their familymight be going through.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
You know that that's a good segue.
I have one final question foryou, as somebody who hasn't had
to experience this.
If, what is it that someonefrom the outside can do or say
when they know they have afamily member or a friend who's
struggling with infertility?
Because this is an area wherethere is a tremendous amount of
shame and I think, because wealso don't know how to react,
(40:51):
that that's part of the problem,and I want to ask the question
what could I say or what could Ido, to just say like I'm here
for you, I don't understand whatyou're going through, and what
is it that somebody on theoutside looking in could do?
Speaker 2 (41:05):
Yeah, instead of you know, trying to figure out the
right thing to say, I would justoffer your support.
Hey, I know that you have aprocedure coming up.
Is there anything that I can doto support you?
Can I bring you a meal thatnight?
Can I drive you to the office,you know, is there anything that
I can do to support you?
And just let them kind of takethe lead on that, because so
(41:27):
often people go inward, becauseyou know people try to.
You know it's the toxicpositivity, right, and everybody
means well.
But if you don't understand thementality of someone that would
tell their husband that theylove to divorce them or that,
you know people say things likeyou know, they just dismiss the
(41:50):
feeling, right.
So I would just say anythingthat you do, don't dismiss their
feelings about it, don't glossover the feelings.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Identify that.
This is ridiculously hard andyou can't imagine what they're
going through.
And just if you're listening tothis on podcasts, you can watch
the full interview on YouTube.
It'll be featured there as well, with all of Erica's links.
Erica, thank you so much forjoining me today and to sharing
your story and for what you'redoing to help women.
It's a huge, huge thing.
(42:31):
So thank you for what you'redoing.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Thank you for being available for me to get my
message out.
I hope that there are somewomen out there listening that
this was exactly what theyneeded today.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I hope so too, so listeners, reach out to Erica if
you're looking for support.
Thank you so much for beinghere with us today, and we will
catch you on the next one.
Take care.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.