September 29, 2025 • 10 mins
I reflect on two major parenting regrets that have had significant consequences in our family: allowing excessive screen time and catering to picky eaters. These seemingly small concessions made during overwhelming parenting moments have created lasting challenges as my children have grown older.
• Started giving my son a tablet around age three despite knowing the potential harm
• Now seeing addiction-like behaviors when devices are taken away
• Children abandon social interaction when electronic devices are available
• Digital devices create dopamine releases that affect brain development
• Strongly advise parents of young children to avoid or severely limit screen time
• Catering to picky eating has resulted in extremely limited food preferences
• Found myself making multiple meals to accommodate different preferences
• Wish I had insisted children eat what was prepared for the whole family
• The "path of least resistance" created more difficult problems later
• Successfully prioritized open communication and age-appropriate explanations
• Use adult vocabulary and don't sugarcoat difficult conversations with children
• Important to give yourself grace while learning from mistakes
If you have young children, please learn from my experience - limit screen time and stand firm on family meals.
Love this content? Check out our links below for more!
Linktr.ee Content
Instagram
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
This is Dill Roses Podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope you are all having agreat week thus far, although
this is being posted on aMonday.
But I hope you all had a greatweekend.
What I wanted to think abouttoday for an episode is um it
actually kind of sparked basedon my weekend and and my
(00:22):
visitors today.
I started reflecting a littlebit on things that I didn't do
well enough or didn't do betterwhen my kids were little and how
the repercussions are kind ofhitting me now.
And by kind of I mean how therepercussions are hitting me
now.
When my kids were little, I canmake all the excuses in the
world for it, but and I canrationalize away why I did
(00:44):
everything that I did.
But I will just like kind offlat out tell you guys because
at this point doesn't evenmatter.
I used to let the kids usetablets when they were little.
And it started with my son whenhe was probably three.
Um he didn't have it all thetime, but every once in a while,
I remember I actually distinctlyremember the first time we gave
it to him.
And it was like, I don't know,just one of those nights where
(01:04):
everything was alwaysoverwhelming.
Again, I don't want to relax,rationalize it, but we gave him
the phone.
I got the other kids to bed, andhe was so quiet on the phone
that, you know, kind of just lethim be.
And I went about my business,cleaning up this, that, and the
next thing.
He was zoned out.
I didn't really think anythingof it.
And I was all I was to beperfectly clear frank with you
guys, I was grateful for theopportunity to be able to do
(01:25):
other things and get things donebecause he was distracted.
Now, at the time, I knew thatthere was literature that said
digital, digital devices forkids was not good.
I did.
I was well aware of it.
But I thought, you know, once ina while, not a big deal.
Even TV, not a big deal.
They need something.
I cannot be in their faces allthe time.
It's not possible for me to dothat.
(01:46):
I have to have some reprieve.
So it started about when he wasthree.
Now, it didn't really pick upuntil he was a little bit older,
the device use.
And of course, at that point,sisters started doing it too.
After a certain point, I didknow that it was not doing them
any favors.
Like, and it was actuallyharmful for them to be using
(02:07):
their electronic devices.
So, you know, they would havelimited time, or it was only at
certain times they were allowedto use it.
But again, I do realize, and I'mgonna admit this up front, I
know that what happened here andme letting them use it because I
needed a little bit of areprieve did them no favors.
And it and it really was harmfulfor them.
And now that they're older, therepercussions of this have been
(02:30):
pretty significant becausethey're so attached to having a
device that taking it away fromthem is almost like watching um
a drug addict detox.
And I know that sounds kind ofsevere, but I'm sure a lot of
mothers are kind of noddingalong at this point, like, yeah,
that's how my kid is too.
You'll know if your kid isbasically addicted to the their
(02:52):
device, if they get reallyviolent and aggressive and if
they are really acting out andget really like depressed and
stuff when they don't have it.
When you take it away initially,and there's this moment of like
they're coming down from thishigh, that is actually what it
is.
They're coming down from a high.
And the the dopamine andserotonin that it's being
released into their brains whenthey're using these devices is
(03:15):
really bad for them because nowthey're in a situation where
they don't know how to regulatethemselves.
They don't know how to do it,and they've been exposed to
these devices, and now we havethis problem.
So even now, as I sit here, youknow, we had a small problem
today.
We had visitors over at thehouse, and the kids all found
out about some update havinghappening to one of their
(03:35):
favorite games.
All of them dropped what theywere doing and ran for their
devices and were trying to justplay with their devices.
And, you know, our relativesthat were visiting, our my
little grandson kind of camewalking over and he was like, I
don't have anything to do,please.
There's nothing for me to do.
And we had to go and takeeveryone's devices and, you
know, put our foot down.
The reaction was fine, butagain, my son is always a little
(03:57):
extra in that area.
He reacts much moreaggressively.
And so I can see it on him.
And I spoke to my stepdaughterand her fiance today, and I
said, you know, if there's onething that I would say to
anybody who has young children,I do understand.
I understand the attraction forparents to use digital devices
(04:18):
to help occupy their kid becauseit's overwhelming.
And being a parent isoverwhelming.
But I'm here to say that that isone of my bigger regrets is that
we did expose them to it andthat it has caused a ripple in
their lives and how their brainsdeveloped.
And it has caused, you know,problems for us now.
And it's it's an issue.
(04:38):
We try to course correct and wedo like actively make it a point
to get them out of the house,get them off the devices.
Like we do, we keep them active.
I mean, you guys have heard metalk about it before.
We make them walk out, we dothings with them, but there's
always that crawl right back tothe device.
And so it's been incrediblydifficult.
And we have seen the negativeside effects of it.
So we're trying to coursecorrect, but we never really had
(05:00):
to be here.
And if it was at all possibleand if it's possible for you to
not have to go down this path, Ihighly encourage you not to.
Don't buy them a device, don'tbuy them a tablet.
If you let them use your phone,let it be very limited.
Don't just hand them the phone.
I mean, that's a huge problem inour house that my phone
disappears at four o'clock wheneveryone gets home from school.
I don't see it again until nineo'clock.
(05:22):
Granted, sometimes they'recalling their friends or they're
doing little, which that I don'tmind.
But again, there's other things.
So that's one parenting regret Iwanted to share with you all,
which I don't know if I saidthat was what was on my mind
today, but it was things thatI've thought of about being a
parent that I could have justdone better.
So that's one of them.
Now, this other one is becomingsuch an issue that I want to
(05:42):
talk to all of you about it.
The other thing I wish I haddone better when the kids were
younger is making them just eatthe food that I cooked.
Again, I would never call myselflazy, but I will say that there
was a period of time where itwas path of least resistance.
Again, I can rationalize why Idid everything I've done.
(06:04):
I know why I did what I did, butI am feeling the repercussions
now.
So, most notably my son, whoalso happens to be my firstborn.
So I don't know, put two and twotogether.
Clearly, I was inexperienced.
I'm figuring stuff out.
But I want to help people dobetter than I did.
When he was little, he waspicky.
You know, he didn't like certainthings, he would give a hard
(06:24):
time.
I let it slide because, again,in the interest of my sanity, I
was like, oh, fine, you justwant chicken nuggets, fine.
I'll just give you chickennuggets.
You know, I'll buy the nicechicken nuggets.
Like I would cave quite a bit onthe food because I just wanted
him to eat.
So I would let him just fine,you just want a piece of bread
with butter?
Okay, no problem.
You don't want to eat the riceand beans and the food that I
made.
Okay, fine.
What do you want?
(06:44):
You want one of these littlekids' meals?
Fine, I don't care.
It was such a rush, and I'vecomplained about that to you
guys before, it was such a blurand such a rush that I caved on
a lot of things and related tofood.
And now he's older and it's aproblem because now his palate
is still limited.
And I've let him get away withit for far too long with just
(07:06):
wanting to eat certain foods.
I'm not sure if there's also achange happening in him right
now.
I think that there is.
Where he is in his age, I thinkhe's in a nice milestone
development right now that'saffecting him.
But nevertheless, he is down tolike six foods that he will find
acceptable.
And it depends on his mood inthe moment.
And that's the part that reallygets me because I certain, you
(07:28):
know, I know the things that mykids eat and how they like them
prepared.
But the fact that it's like,well, I'm not in the mood for
that today, that's my fault.
That is my fault.
And it, I solely, holy, holy,holy take responsibility for
that horrible habit that I usedto make like three different
dinners.
And I know I was in the habit ofit anyway because of me and how
my eating habits are.
But now I'm in this position of,well, I cook food that I know my
(07:51):
husband will eat and I think thegirls might eat, but then I
always have to make somethingextra because I know he's not
going to eat it.
And chances are one of the twinsmight not eat it.
And so I've made it a habit of,oh, well, I'll just make this
extra dish.
Well, now I'm screwed becauseone of the nights that I'm super
tired or I'm down on low ongroceries and I have to just use
what's in the house.
(08:13):
I have people now here that arelike, well, mom, I don't
understand.
You know, maybe what I want, Idon't want to eat this.
I'm just not gonna eat.
I'll just eat crackers.
This is a problem.
I'm trying to deal with thisnow.
And it is a problem because Imade it a problem.
I let this happen.
Had I put my foot down when theywere younger and just forced
them to eat it and say, like,look, this is dinner.
You don't eat this, you don'tget anything, I wouldn't be in
(08:34):
this position.
I could not hold out on thatone.
I failed there.
Don't fail there.
Stick to your guns is really thekey takeaway here.
I want you to do better than meon this.
So, in terms of electronicdevices, if you can avoid it,
avoid it at all costs.
It is terrible for our children,horrible for their brains, and
it is highly addictive.
Food, make them try or make themeat everything that you cook
(08:58):
because their palates are sorestricted.
And if you don't expand it,you're also gonna be in a bad
situation where they will noteat food and it will be painful
even taking them out to eatbecause they're not gonna want
to eat anything on the menu.
It's gonna be a problem.
So I'll leave you with those twoones.
One thing positive, not onething positive, but one of the
(09:20):
major things that I posit thatmy husband and I positively did
with our children, and I'vetalked to you guys about that
before, is the communicationfactor.
We are highly communicative withthe kids.
We do not dumb anything down forthem.
We explain it to them.
I use my regular language that Iuse every single day at my job
and with adults, I use it withmy kids.
(09:40):
I don't sugarcoat anything, Idon't distill it down.
The only thing I've distilleddown is when they've asked me
about how do babies get into mybelly.
That I distill down.
But for the most part, I shoot,shoot them straight.
You ask me a question, I'm gonnaask you how detailed you want me
to go, and I'm gonna give youthe full answer.
When they get in trouble, weexplain to them why they're in
(10:01):
trouble.
They get punished, but weexplain it to them and make them
understand like you have tounderstand the logic here.
I need you to hear me on this.
Getting them to understand adifferent perspective and a
different way of viewing things,highly critical.
So there's certain things likethat that I leaned in really
hard for.
And now I have these otherthings that I didn't.
So, you know, I do give myselfgrace.
I don't beat myself up too muchabout it.
(10:21):
It just right now I'm in a kindof a slump with the food because
it's been a big problem lately.
I'm sure there'll be other bigproblems later on down the road.
But I wanted to share thesethings with you today.
This is what was on my mind.
I felt like it was important toshare with all of you.
I hope you find it helpful.
Thank you for being here with metoday, and I will catch you on
the next one.
Take care.
This is Dill Roses Podcast.
This podcast is created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope you are all having agreat week thus far, although
this is being posted on aMonday.
But I hope you all had a greatweekend.
What I wanted to think abouttoday for an episode is um it
actually kind of sparked basedon my weekend and and my
(00:22):
visitors today.
I started reflecting a littlebit on things that I didn't do
well enough or didn't do betterwhen my kids were little and how
the repercussions are kind ofhitting me now.
And by kind of I mean how therepercussions are hitting me
now.
When my kids were little, I canmake all the excuses in the
world for it, but and I canrationalize away why I did
(00:44):
everything that I did.
But I will just like kind offlat out tell you guys because
at this point doesn't evenmatter.
I used to let the kids usetablets when they were little.
And it started with my son whenhe was probably three.
Um he didn't have it all thetime, but every once in a while,
I remember I actually distinctlyremember the first time we gave
it to him.
And it was like, I don't know,just one of those nights where
(01:04):
everything was alwaysoverwhelming.
Again, I don't want to relax,rationalize it, but we gave him
the phone.
I got the other kids to bed, andhe was so quiet on the phone
that, you know, kind of just lethim be.
And I went about my business,cleaning up this, that, and the
next thing.
He was zoned out.
I didn't really think anythingof it.
And I was all I was to beperfectly clear frank with you
guys, I was grateful for theopportunity to be able to do
(01:25):
other things and get things donebecause he was distracted.
Now, at the time, I knew thatthere was literature that said
digital, digital devices forkids was not good.
I did.
I was well aware of it.
But I thought, you know, once ina while, not a big deal.
Even TV, not a big deal.
They need something.
I cannot be in their faces allthe time.
It's not possible for me to dothat.
(01:46):
I have to have some reprieve.
So it started about when he wasthree.
Now, it didn't really pick upuntil he was a little bit older,
the device use.
And of course, at that point,sisters started doing it too.
After a certain point, I didknow that it was not doing them
any favors.
Like, and it was actuallyharmful for them to be using
(02:07):
their electronic devices.
So, you know, they would havelimited time, or it was only at
certain times they were allowedto use it.
But again, I do realize, and I'mgonna admit this up front, I
know that what happened here andme letting them use it because I
needed a little bit of areprieve did them no favors.
And it and it really was harmfulfor them.
And now that they're older, therepercussions of this have been
(02:30):
pretty significant becausethey're so attached to having a
device that taking it away fromthem is almost like watching um
a drug addict detox.
And I know that sounds kind ofsevere, but I'm sure a lot of
mothers are kind of noddingalong at this point, like, yeah,
that's how my kid is too.
You'll know if your kid isbasically addicted to the their
(02:52):
device, if they get reallyviolent and aggressive and if
they are really acting out andget really like depressed and
stuff when they don't have it.
When you take it away initially,and there's this moment of like
they're coming down from thishigh, that is actually what it
is.
They're coming down from a high.
And the the dopamine andserotonin that it's being
released into their brains whenthey're using these devices is
(03:15):
really bad for them because nowthey're in a situation where
they don't know how to regulatethemselves.
They don't know how to do it,and they've been exposed to
these devices, and now we havethis problem.
So even now, as I sit here, youknow, we had a small problem
today.
We had visitors over at thehouse, and the kids all found
out about some update havinghappening to one of their
(03:35):
favorite games.
All of them dropped what theywere doing and ran for their
devices and were trying to justplay with their devices.
And, you know, our relativesthat were visiting, our my
little grandson kind of camewalking over and he was like, I
don't have anything to do,please.
There's nothing for me to do.
And we had to go and takeeveryone's devices and, you
know, put our foot down.
The reaction was fine, butagain, my son is always a little
(03:57):
extra in that area.
He reacts much moreaggressively.
And so I can see it on him.
And I spoke to my stepdaughterand her fiance today, and I
said, you know, if there's onething that I would say to
anybody who has young children,I do understand.
I understand the attraction forparents to use digital devices
(04:18):
to help occupy their kid becauseit's overwhelming.
And being a parent isoverwhelming.
But I'm here to say that that isone of my bigger regrets is that
we did expose them to it andthat it has caused a ripple in
their lives and how their brainsdeveloped.
And it has caused, you know,problems for us now.
And it's it's an issue.
(04:38):
We try to course correct and wedo like actively make it a point
to get them out of the house,get them off the devices.
Like we do, we keep them active.
I mean, you guys have heard metalk about it before.
We make them walk out, we dothings with them, but there's
always that crawl right back tothe device.
And so it's been incrediblydifficult.
And we have seen the negativeside effects of it.
So we're trying to coursecorrect, but we never really had
(05:00):
to be here.
And if it was at all possibleand if it's possible for you to
not have to go down this path, Ihighly encourage you not to.
Don't buy them a device, don'tbuy them a tablet.
If you let them use your phone,let it be very limited.
Don't just hand them the phone.
I mean, that's a huge problem inour house that my phone
disappears at four o'clock wheneveryone gets home from school.
I don't see it again until nineo'clock.
(05:22):
Granted, sometimes they'recalling their friends or they're
doing little, which that I don'tmind.
But again, there's other things.
So that's one parenting regret Iwanted to share with you all,
which I don't know if I saidthat was what was on my mind
today, but it was things thatI've thought of about being a
parent that I could have justdone better.
So that's one of them.
Now, this other one is becomingsuch an issue that I want to
(05:42):
talk to all of you about it.
The other thing I wish I haddone better when the kids were
younger is making them just eatthe food that I cooked.
Again, I would never call myselflazy, but I will say that there
was a period of time where itwas path of least resistance.
Again, I can rationalize why Idid everything I've done.
(06:04):
I know why I did what I did, butI am feeling the repercussions
now.
So, most notably my son, whoalso happens to be my firstborn.
So I don't know, put two and twotogether.
Clearly, I was inexperienced.
I'm figuring stuff out.
But I want to help people dobetter than I did.
When he was little, he waspicky.
You know, he didn't like certainthings, he would give a hard
(06:24):
time.
I let it slide because, again,in the interest of my sanity, I
was like, oh, fine, you justwant chicken nuggets, fine.
I'll just give you chickennuggets.
You know, I'll buy the nicechicken nuggets.
Like I would cave quite a bit onthe food because I just wanted
him to eat.
So I would let him just fine,you just want a piece of bread
with butter?
Okay, no problem.
You don't want to eat the riceand beans and the food that I
made.
Okay, fine.
What do you want?
(06:44):
You want one of these littlekids' meals?
Fine, I don't care.
It was such a rush, and I'vecomplained about that to you
guys before, it was such a blurand such a rush that I caved on
a lot of things and related tofood.
And now he's older and it's aproblem because now his palate
is still limited.
And I've let him get away withit for far too long with just
(07:06):
wanting to eat certain foods.
I'm not sure if there's also achange happening in him right
now.
I think that there is.
Where he is in his age, I thinkhe's in a nice milestone
development right now that'saffecting him.
But nevertheless, he is down tolike six foods that he will find
acceptable.
And it depends on his mood inthe moment.
And that's the part that reallygets me because I certain, you
(07:28):
know, I know the things that mykids eat and how they like them
prepared.
But the fact that it's like,well, I'm not in the mood for
that today, that's my fault.
That is my fault.
And it, I solely, holy, holy,holy take responsibility for
that horrible habit that I usedto make like three different
dinners.
And I know I was in the habit ofit anyway because of me and how
my eating habits are.
But now I'm in this position of,well, I cook food that I know my
(07:51):
husband will eat and I think thegirls might eat, but then I
always have to make somethingextra because I know he's not
going to eat it.
And chances are one of the twinsmight not eat it.
And so I've made it a habit of,oh, well, I'll just make this
extra dish.
Well, now I'm screwed becauseone of the nights that I'm super
tired or I'm down on low ongroceries and I have to just use
what's in the house.
(08:13):
I have people now here that arelike, well, mom, I don't
understand.
You know, maybe what I want, Idon't want to eat this.
I'm just not gonna eat.
I'll just eat crackers.
This is a problem.
I'm trying to deal with thisnow.
And it is a problem because Imade it a problem.
I let this happen.
Had I put my foot down when theywere younger and just forced
them to eat it and say, like,look, this is dinner.
You don't eat this, you don'tget anything, I wouldn't be in
(08:34):
this position.
I could not hold out on thatone.
I failed there.
Don't fail there.
Stick to your guns is really thekey takeaway here.
I want you to do better than meon this.
So, in terms of electronicdevices, if you can avoid it,
avoid it at all costs.
It is terrible for our children,horrible for their brains, and
it is highly addictive.
Food, make them try or make themeat everything that you cook
(08:58):
because their palates are sorestricted.
And if you don't expand it,you're also gonna be in a bad
situation where they will noteat food and it will be painful
even taking them out to eatbecause they're not gonna want
to eat anything on the menu.
It's gonna be a problem.
So I'll leave you with those twoones.
One thing positive, not onething positive, but one of the
(09:20):
major things that I posit thatmy husband and I positively did
with our children, and I'vetalked to you guys about that
before, is the communicationfactor.
We are highly communicative withthe kids.
We do not dumb anything down forthem.
We explain it to them.
I use my regular language that Iuse every single day at my job
and with adults, I use it withmy kids.
(09:40):
I don't sugarcoat anything, Idon't distill it down.
The only thing I've distilleddown is when they've asked me
about how do babies get into mybelly.
That I distill down.
But for the most part, I shoot,shoot them straight.
You ask me a question, I'm gonnaask you how detailed you want me
to go, and I'm gonna give youthe full answer.
When they get in trouble, weexplain to them why they're in
(10:01):
trouble.
They get punished, but weexplain it to them and make them
understand like you have tounderstand the logic here.
I need you to hear me on this.
Getting them to understand adifferent perspective and a
different way of viewing things,highly critical.
So there's certain things likethat that I leaned in really
hard for.
And now I have these otherthings that I didn't.
So, you know, I do give myselfgrace.
I don't beat myself up too muchabout it.
(10:21):
It just right now I'm in a kindof a slump with the food because
it's been a big problem lately.
I'm sure there'll be other bigproblems later on down the road.
But I wanted to share thesethings with you today.
This is what was on my mind.
I felt like it was important toshare with all of you.
I hope you find it helpful.
Thank you for being here with metoday, and I will catch you on
the next one.
Take care.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.