March 26, 2025 • 50 mins
Alexandria Morgans, a certified personal trainer and nutritionist, shares her journey from professional ballet dancer to fitness coach after overcoming a three-year battle with an eating disorder. Her painful experience became the foundation for her coaching business focused on helping women heal their relationship with food and their bodies without restrictive dieting.
• Started ballet at 18 months old and pursued it professionally until realizing the industry's unhealthy expectations were damaging her health
• Developed an eating disorder when trying to fit the "ballet body" stereotype despite dancing 45 hours weekly
• Found her turning point through weightlifting when she couldn't lift 10 pounds despite being a professional dancer
• Created FitLex Coaching to help women overcome restrictive eating patterns and achieve sustainable results
• Emphasizes the importance of loving your body throughout the journey rather than hating yourself to your goal
• Discusses long-term health consequences of eating disorders including anemia and gastritis
• Introduces her "Fear Food Friday" approach where clients try one former fear food weekly
• Warns against fad diets that simply create calorie deficits by eliminating food groups
• Highlights how many diet studies don't include women, making their results less applicable to female bodies
Connect with Alexandria on Instagram or visit her website to learn more about her Mind Body Mastery program designed specifically for women recovering from restrictive eating patterns.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandria-morgans-b22256262/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi everybody, this is Steel Rose's podcast.
This podcast has been createdfor women, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I'm very excited to introduceour guest today, alexandria
Morgans.
She is a certified personaltrainer and nutritionist who
found her passion for health andfitness through her career as a
professional ballet dancer.
Unfortunately, in an industrythat pushes unhealthy eating
(00:23):
habits, she did succumb to thepressure and developed an eating
disorder for three years.
She overcame her eatingdisorder and found her passion
in a career focused on healthand fitness as an online coach.
Alexandria, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hi, thank you so much for having me having me.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Um, I, I.
At first I want to commend youbecause, uh, having personal
experience overcoming an eatingdisorder, I do want to commend
you for that, because that is noeasy undertaking.
Um, it is a lot of work and alot of mental work.
Um, on my end, it was a lot ofmental work that I had to go
through.
Um, it's very difficult to beatthat kind of thing.
So I want to commend you onthat first before I say anything
(01:10):
else.
So congratulations to you onthat and for refocusing and
rechanneling your energy.
I'm thrilled that you did that.
But I would love for you tointroduce yourself to the
listeners and tell them aboutyour journey and how you came
through and how you got to whereyou are today.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
And thank you, yeah, I hatehaving to relate to somebody
who's had an eating disorder,because it's never a good thing.
But yeah, I mean I was prettymuch put in ballet as soon as I
could walk.
My parents like to say theyjust needed something to do with
me because I was dancing aroundthe house.
So ballet seemed like the rightchoice and I started when I was
(01:53):
18 months old.
I mean, ballet was everythingto me.
We are a military family and soballet was kind of the only
thing that was a good constantfor me when everything was
changing.
And I think what reallyjump-started my whole eating
(02:14):
disorder and that rabbit holegoing down into was when I
started getting into the moreprofessional world.
Because, to be completelyhonest, until I was a teenager I
had no idea you could make acareer out of ballet, didn't
know that existed.
And then I went to thisperforming art school in
Virginia and I got there and Irealized just how behind I was.
(02:36):
At every single studio I'd beento before.
It was always an activity forme to do and sounds like I'm
bragging, I promise I'm not, butI was always considered at the
top to do and sounds like I'mbragging.
I promise I'm not.
But I was always considered atthe top of my class and then I
got to this performing artsschool and I was at the very
bottom.
I was placed in the lowerclasses and I was completely
(02:57):
shocked because I'd never beenexposed to a lot of people who
were better than me and you knowthat pretty much just fed into
me, going from 10 hours ofdancing a week to 45.
And I was around 13 or 14 whenI started doing that and then,
when that didn't seem to begetting me any more roles or
(03:18):
things like that, it fell into.
Well, I know I look a lotdifferent than everybody else
does in this room, so that mustbe the issue that's there.
So that was a very longfour-year journey.
Took a long time to recover,because when you're in an
industry that doesn't want tolet you recover, it's really
hard to change your mentalityand get out of that, especially
(03:42):
because I mean I jumped straightfrom the pre-professional world
into two different companiesand I lived in Virginia for
another year after that withCharlottesville Ballet and they
were a very like, inclusivecompany.
I never felt any pressure fromthem.
But when I went to the secondprofessional company that I
worked with in California.
(04:03):
It was very much like they hadthe motto of being inclusive but
they did not at all practice it.
So the fact that I was someonecoming in who now had allowed
myself to heal partly I'm goingto be completely honest, and I'd
done that because I got intoweightlifting it was three years
(04:25):
into my eating disorder and mybrother was kind of I mean,
everyone was catching on.
I thought I was pretty sneaky.
No one knew, but even people Ididn't know knew what was going
on and he told me well, the bestway to be happy with your body,
or he was just trying he wastwo years younger than me, just
(04:46):
trying to get me to stop liketold me to get into
weightlifting and when I startedI was absolutely shocked
because I couldn't lift so muchas 10 pounds over my head oh,
wow because I had guns.
I was dancing 45 hours a weekand not even eating enough that
would what most would considerone meal.
So that kind of pulled itpulled me out of it because it
(05:09):
was.
It's very shocking to seeyourself and get to that point
and have the physical evidence.
And that was also the year thatI started my very first fitness
Instagram account to holdmyself accountable for my
recovery.
So then I came to this companyin California and I felt like
I'd healed, but then I was kindof hitting the same roadblocks,
(05:29):
like everyone in the room lookeddifferent than me.
I was definitely the only onewho did not have the
stereotypical ballet body, andthey may have had that motto of
being inclusive, but theydefinitely did not practice it.
And I heard my fair share ofcomments throughout my first
year, and that was also the yearthat I started going to college
(05:51):
full-time to be a dietician andspecialize in eating disorder
treatment.
So it was the first time in mylife where I took, like, the
real steps to recovery, like notthe ones that I took in the
beginning, where it was let meheal but not heal in the way,
where I gained the weight back,and that time around.
I was like no, you know, I'mready to heal, like I'm done
(06:14):
with this.
And you know that year went byand things were okay.
Things were fine, honestly, andmy second year at the company I
went back into it, just notloving it anymore.
I'd gone further into thefitness industry and I got my
personal training certification.
I started as a personal trainerat Gold's Gym and, honestly,
(06:39):
the days were just brutal.
I would go to work from 4 to 9amam and then I would dance for
eight hours and then I'd go backto work and then I would still
have around six hours ofschoolwork to complete every
night.
And you know, after two monthsof that I really had to sit down
with myself and be like, okay,this cannot continue.
(07:17):
Yeah, wow, I decided to retireand it was heartbreaking because
I was so mad at myself for notrealizing I hadn't been happy in
a long time, probably since Ientered the professional world,
and so it really kind of put asour taste in my mouth for my
(07:39):
last performance, like my lasthurrah to this career that was
supposed to be a lifelong thingfor me, because I didn't even
enjoy it, because I was just somad at myself for not realizing
how unhappy I'd been for thepast three years.
And then, after I retired fromdance, I spent a couple months
at Gold's and once againrealized that I wasn't happy.
(08:01):
I was like you know.
I'm not letting this happenagain.
I'm not letting myself stay inthis situation.
So from there, I quit gold, putin my two weeks and I started
my company, fitlex Coaching, andI've been running on this
platform of helping womenovercome past restrictive eating
.
And we're not just focusing onbody goals here, because, yes, I
(08:24):
want to help women achievetheir dream body, but I'm not
going to do it in a way that'sgoing to sacrifice your life,
your mental state.
I'm going to teach you how tolove your body while chasing
your dream one, because nothingthat you hate doing in the
process is going to be somethingthat's sustainable.
So right now, I'm really justfocused on helping other women
(08:46):
heal their relationship withfood, their bodies and get out
of the restrictive dietingmindset that ballet put me in
for so long and wouldn't let meout of, you know you've said.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You said a couple things that I want to touch on
here.
So one I think that it'swonderful that you took
something.
It's and it sounds like it wasalmost always there like this,
like fitness, interest infitness, you know, like it was
basically like almost alwayspresent from from what it sounds
like, from what you told us,and I think it's a fantastic
(09:22):
that you have taken something,that you went down this path of
you know the eating disorder andhaving to go through that, and
now you've turned something thatreally can take a lot of us out
and you know it's somethingthat a lot of women can't ever
escape, and you've been able tochannel yourself and your energy
(09:43):
into well, I've gone throughthis.
I'm going to help other womenreally truly understand how to
not, you know, obviously youwant to be healthy, but to love
who you are as you're doing it,because there is no this.
This isn't meant to be like ashameful thing.
We've gotten very society hastwisted quite a bit the whole
(10:04):
concept of women's health andeven down to.
I don't think I've shared Ishared this story with you, but
one of my little girls she wasfive and she was giving her a
bath and she was looking at herstomach and she was pressing on
her belly and I was like, ohhoney, what are you doing?
And she was like, oh, I'm fat.
(10:26):
And I was like what?
And like I was like, what areyou talking about?
And she was like my belly isn'tflat like the other girls at
school.
And I had to pause for a minutebecause I'm like, okay, she's
five, but I don't want, I don'twant to disregard her feelings
and be like no, no, no.
(10:47):
So I was like, well, I was like, oh well, who are you talking
about, you know?
And I just kind of talked itthrough with her and then I just
, you know, said like everyone'sbodies are different, everybody
looks different.
I was like are you, are youhealthy?
And she was like yeah.
I was like can you go joggingwith Bobby?
And she's like yeah, I'm likethat's it.
I'm like you're fine.
Um, we've been, because of mystruggles and because of what I
(11:10):
went through, we're very, youknow, specific with the kids
about that kind of stuff.
So we can, we can talk aboutlike that in a minute.
What I wanted to also talk aboutwith you is um, I know you
mentioned that you were mad thatyou didn't realize that you
hadn't been happy in a reallylong time.
And it's very interestingbecause I found myself in that
(11:33):
scenario and it's almost likewhen you come out of it.
It's like coming out of a hazeand you're like what was what
was I thinking this whole time?
Like who am I, you know're likewhat was I thinking this whole
time?
Like who am I, you know?
Like why didn't I see thissooner?
And I want you to hear this toothat's not just you, that's
(11:56):
almost all women, because wehave this very definitive should
I should do something.
So I'm gonna do it, regardlessof whether I like it or not, and
it sounds like you were doing alot of shoulds.
I should look like these othergirls.
I should be better than this.
And I want you to hear that,because hear this that, like you
(12:17):
, you were following the shouldsand not what you really wanted,
and now you're following whatyou really want, so you're able
to actually be happy foryourself because you're finding
the passion that you have yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, my reasons for continuing when I didn't love it
, like ballet instills in youthis perfectionism, and I mean I
always compared it especiallyto the end of being like a dog
wanting a bone from its master.
We would dance for eight hoursa day.
It didn't matter if we werebleeding.
(12:52):
I danced through three injuriesthat could have ended my career
and I just kept going becauseeverything was worth it if I got
a compliment from the teacher,if they even looked at me like
anything was worth the smallestbit of recognition.
And so my reasons forcontinuing were that I wanted to
(13:13):
break the glass ceiling ofballet, because I feel like
we've made a lot of improvementsin acting and the arts and
modeling, where weightinclusivity has gotten better,
like we're not perfect, ofcourse, but it's a lot better
than it used to be.
But ballet has never gottenthere, and I thought that if
(13:33):
someone was just willing to pushfor it, it would happen.
And then part of me was alsocontinuing, because it's a
performing arts, you hear a lotmore no's than you hear yes's.
And part of me was continuingbecause I wanted to prove
everybody wrong who told me Icouldn't do it.
And then I also wanted to provethe people who did believe in
(13:57):
me right.
I felt like I was letting peopledown if I didn't make it.
I felt like I was lettingeverybody.
I told I was going to be aprofessional ballet dancer.
I thought I was letting themdown if I didn't make it.
I felt like I was lettingeverybody.
I told I was going to be aprofessional ballet dancer.
I thought it was letting themdown if I didn't make it happen.
Um, and that was the biggeststruggle was just feeling like
I'd let my family down, feelinglike I'd let my friends down,
like because my whole identityjust came crashing down.
(14:18):
It didn't matter if I wasn'thappy.
It was that like that's what Iwas supposed to be.
For 19 years I was a balletdancer and now I'm not anymore
and that was a big.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
It was a big shift the weight lift though, the
weight off your shoulders fromcarrying other people's like
hopes for you must have beensuch a relief, because and I say
this because not exact samescenario, but I think a lot of
(14:52):
women will relate to again doingthings because they don't want
to disappoint someone else.
I think this is categorically afemale problem.
This is categorically a femaleproblem.
I don't really know any guysthat go through this and there's
(15:14):
.
So, I mean, I remember and thisis a little it's different than
what we're specifically talkingabout but even you know, when I
was in my mid-20s, I rememberwhen I started to change as a
person and I was trying tobetter myself and do things
better for myself and I started,you know, meditating, doing,
and the reactions were so severefrom people for just because I
(15:36):
was trying to better myself, andit was like the most negative
outpouring and I was like, oh, Iwas like what?
I'm just trying to do thingsbetter.
And then what?
Eventually, alexandra,eventually, what happened?
I started losing people in mylife Because it was, it was
(15:56):
almost like them showing theirreal face and I was like, well,
if you want me to just stay put,because it makes you
comfortable, like that's notokay either.
I need to be able to be who Iam and be happy with who I am
and I'm, I'm.
I'm happy you're in thebeginnings of your journey for
that and that you're startingdown that path and it's going to
(16:18):
.
It's going to bring you so muchmore of a light into your life
because you're doing somethingthat you actually really are
passionate about and you enjoy.
So that alone is like a hugeleap forward for you and you
will see, like, in the next fewyears, if you maintain that
focus which I think you will youwill see a tremendous amount of
(16:41):
growth because people will findyou, people who are do you know
what I'm saying Like and I knowthat sounds very like woo, woo,
but the fact of the matter islike, when you're putting that
energy out there and you'reputting the energy out that you
have this positive vibe and youreally want to help people, and
that's the energy you're puttingon the table, they are that the
people who need to hear you andthe people who need to partner
(17:04):
with you are going to come andfind you.
It's just going to start fallinglike dominoes and when that
happens, that's it.
Like you're, I mean, you'regoing to be off to the races.
So and it will happen for youbecause you have this passion
Now in the work that you've donethus far for your and even just
in your studies in general forwomen who are looking to be
(17:31):
healthier.
I've always heard I mean, I'veheard mixed things, but I want
to ask you like diet versusexercise, I've always heard that
start, it starts in the kitchenwhen you're trying to be
healthier.
Is that along the same lines aswhat you heard not heard, but
what you know from youreducation?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, it definitely starts with your diet.
I don't love this phrase, but Ithink it does make a lot of
sense.
You can't out-train a bad diet.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, that's fair, that's right.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
You can work out all you want, but most like even if
we're going further into likenutritional deficiencies, health
efficiencies all of that comesfrom your diet.
Pretty much everything healthrelated comes from your diet, so
starting there is going to beyour best bet.
I always suggest diet first andthen exercise later, if it's,
because it's really alloverwhelming when you start at
(18:26):
once, and I feel like I startedwith both and went down that
really bad path, because I meanmost people when they start they
go from zero to 100 becausethey think that's what they have
to do.
Yeah, but even just those smallchanges to your diet can make
such a difference.
And one thing that I've learneda lot with college and my
(18:47):
studies to be a dietitian isjust how many, how many physical
manifestations of nutritionaldeficiencies there are and like
things that people think arenormal are like actually a sign
of what you're lacking in yournutrition.
And then people think, well,supplements, I just need
supplements.
Like no, supplements are notthere to replace your diet.
(19:10):
You got to start with thenutrition and then you can add
supplements if you're superdeficient.
But you can't out train a baddiet.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I have two things there.
One I'm actually kind ofembarrassed to admit this.
This was like, oh my gosh, like13 or 14 years ago.
It was when my husband and Ifirst started dating.
We were first living together,I wasn't working and I used to
go to the gym every single day,and so I was about 27 ish when
(19:41):
this was going on.
Um, and I would walk like amile and a half up to the gym.
I would work out for like anhour and I would do cardio and
weight lifting, and then I wouldwalk a mile and a half back
home and one would think that ifI was doing that every single
day, I would have been in peakphysical condition.
However, as we just discussed,diet will supersede what you're
(20:03):
doing at the gym and I wouldcome home and just eat crap and
just junk and just snacks, and Iwasn't mindful of what I was
putting in my body because Ireally never had that kind of
education.
I had no idea any nutritionalvalue of what I was doing and I
(20:23):
think I was like heavily carbsand it's like you know.
I was basically wasting allthat time at the gym because I'm
like what's the point?
I was probably just keepingmyself from going way, way out
of control at that point.
(20:45):
Flash forward to now, I'm stilllearning how to do this and how
to really maintain myself and,as I think I had mentioned it a
little bit earlier in ourrecording, a little bit of a
slippery slope when, once you'vehad an eating disorder.
It is a slippery slope becausethose habits are always kind of
there.
So the last I want to say,three or four months I had
started doing intermittentfasting because I'm I'm turning
(21:07):
41.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Wait, when this airs it'll beway past.
But tomorrow, as we'rerecording this, today, is my
birthday and so I'm turning 41.
And you know, in your 40s it'sharder for women to lose weight.
And somebody had told meintermittent fasting, check it
out.
So I'm trying it out.
And I started out really welland it was doing very good with
(21:29):
eating nutritional food.
And then somewhere over timethat shifted and I was like,
okay, I'm just gonna grab aprotein bar or I'm just going to
grab something quick, or I havethese macro bars.
And I was feeling, I think inthe past five or six months,
really fatigued, brain fog, justreally crappy.
(21:52):
I was having all these terriblesymptoms.
I said to, there was many timesduring the month where I'd be
like I feel like I'm dragging adead body around, eventually got
myself to the doctor and turnsout now I'm anemic because I
haven't been feeding myself.
So it's exactly what you werejust saying, and I'm like oh, it
(22:12):
starts back in the kitchen.
So I've had to yet again do areset and go back to okay, jenny
, even though you're avegetarian, we need to get you
back in shape.
So you're going to eat two eggsin the morning now and I'm like
all right, eggs in the morning,yes, I can do this.
I'm eating spinach at lunch yes, I can do it, and it's one of
those things that it never trulystops.
(22:35):
You have to focus on thehealthy diet.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, with my eating disorder I'm also anemic.
I have not been able to buildthat back up, unfortunately,
because as a woman, once you'reanemic, you're pretty much
anemic, You're just anemic.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, because with our periods, every month there's
no way to catch up, like I know, that's what was going on the
week before.
I was like it was terrible,alexandria.
I was like a dead body, likeyou couldn't even move me no, so
there's, there's no way tocatch up.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
And then, um, you know, personally, with my
nutrition, things got reallycomplicated because it's very
common for women, specificallywith eating disorders, to come
out of it and then havegastrointestinal issues, which I
also have, yeah, so I wasn'teven diagnosed until last summer
(23:31):
because, well, as soon asdoctors hear you had an eating
disorder, like they pretty muchdon't care.
I'm being honest, like I saw alot of doctors.
None of them cared and then theones who did didn't believe my
symptoms because I was too youngto be having them was their
excuse, like there's no way,you're 20 years old and you're
having these issues.
Um, yeah, same go ahead threeyears after my recovery and
(23:57):
having this horrible pain likemy stomach would swell up to the
size of a balloon and nothingwas working like.
I tried gluten-free, dairy-free, um, no meat like, tried
everything and then last summerI was diagnosed with severe
gastritis.
And because I was so severewith my eating disorder and then
(24:18):
doctors weren't listening to me, it got to the point where my
stomach was bleeding Like it wasreally bad.
And now I have all theserestrictions to my diet because
I'm never going to be able toheal the gastritis because of
the point it got it to.
I'm always going to have these.
The same thing with beinganemic, like always going to be
(24:39):
anemic.
Once you get to that pointbecause you just can't bounce
back and because of thegastritis like I had to take,
the biggest thing that wasshocking was I had to go way
down on my protein intake.
Oh, interesting, yeah, Becauseprotein is.
Protein is one of the reasonswhy when you're on a fitness
(25:00):
journey or just trying to behealthier is people tell you to
bump up your protein becausethat is the hardest
macronutrient for your body todigest, so it takes more energy,
it takes more calories fromyour body to digest a gram of
protein versus carbs.
So because I have gastritis, Ihave delayed gastric emptying,
(25:23):
which means it takes me probablytwice as long as it takes a
normal person to digest a meal.
So with the amount of proteinthat I was taking in, it was
taking me around eight to 10hours to digest breakfast.
Wow, so you were like warmhungry then?
No, I wasn't hungry for anothereight to 10 hours to digest
breakfast.
Wow, yeah.
So you were like warm hungrythen no, I wasn't hungry for
another eight to 10 hours afterbreakfast.
Oh gosh.
So I mean now I can't have morethan 90 grams of protein a day.
(25:47):
And I did see, I did see somemuscle loss because I was, I
mean, last summer looking backlike I was pretty jacked, yeah,
and now like I have a lot moreleaner muscle because I just
can't have that kind of proteinanymore Because I can't do what
I was doing before.
It caused me to have now lowtestosterone.
Now I'm trying to build thatback up.
(26:08):
There's so many things thathappen to you because of an
eating disorder.
In the moment, you don't thinkabout the lifelong consequences
that you're going to deal with.
No, you really don't.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It.
Never.
I didn't have it.
I think I was only about a yearof a full.
I want to say it was about afull year, maybe 18 months, of
going through it before I, oh, Iwas in a class.
I was like what triggered me?
I'm just trying to remember,I'm sorry, I was having a senior
moment there.
(26:41):
I was in a class and, um, I wasa psych major originally before
I switched to communications andI'm in a psychology class and
this person gets up I think itwas the professor, was like
giving this talk and he saidthat women he was using he I
don't know how, if he just wentbroad, but he was like women who
(27:02):
have had abusive relationships,women who have eating disorders
, and he named a third thing.
He was like the likelihood ofthem being able to stop the
cycle is like x percent and itwas so low that it like shocked
me, because I was sitting therein the moment in both of those
scenarios abusive relationshipand eating disorder and I was
(27:26):
like I was like, oh man, likedid he just?
Did he say that?
I remember like I wrote thestat down and I'm like sitting
there looking at it and for meit was a pivotal moment of okay,
this isn't going to beat me,I'm going to be the person who
is in that margin that walksaway from this and is okay.
(27:47):
And within like a week, I think, I called a doctor myself.
I got my own therapist.
I started rolling.
I brought my parents in.
I was like look, I want you toknow this is what I've been
going through, this is what I'mgoing to do.
I want you on board with it.
And I kind of just startedrolling with it because I was
like I can't let this be therest of my life.
I was like I have so much morethings to do and it was very
(28:10):
difficult to get through and tobreak a lot of habits.
Even to this day, there's, youknow, habits that I have that
I'm like it's almost like secondnature and I have to catch
myself and I'm like no, jenny,this is okay.
Like you can, you can have thisfood.
Like you're okay, like this isfine.
(28:32):
And it's like self-talkingmyself every single day.
I also I will say this becauseI have daughters I'm also very
mindful of like I'm carefulabout how I talk about things
and I'm careful we're verycareful.
My husband and I had thisconversation when the kids were
born.
I have twin girls and twingirls and a little boy, and he
(28:54):
knows my struggles with weightand he knows that I've been up
and down and all over the place.
When I was pregnant I wasincredibly heavy and that like
messed with me mentally and youknow so because he watched me go
through so much.
I told him I was like I don't,I don't want the girls to have
the same outlook.
I don't want them to look atfood and weight and everything
the same way as me.
(29:15):
So we all work out together asa family.
Everybody works out.
I make sure, even though I don'treally want to, that they see
me working out and they seemommy being healthy and that's
really the line there.
As we always tell them, it'sabout being healthy and it
sounds like that's also yourmotto now at this point.
(29:36):
This is about being healthy.
This it sounds like that'sthat's like also like your motto
now at this point like this isabout being healthy.
This is not about a particularlook.
This isn't about like, oh, I'mjust trying to lose weight to
get to this dress.
Like this is a lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, that's what I'm really trying to get women to
understand.
And the hardest thing withrestrictive eating is that I I
was there I know exactly whatyou're feeling but, like some of
them don't, they're not readyto recover yet.
Yeah, they, they've reached thepoint where they want things to
change.
They don't want to be scared offood, they don't want to
(30:07):
experience the guilt and anxietyand shame, but they're not
really ready to take the stepsto get out of it because they're
not willing to accept theunknown of like oh well, am I
going to gain on the weight backand then I have to lose it all
again, like they're not readyfor that.
And that was my biggest hang upwith my eating disorder, because
(30:30):
I knew that there was no way Iwas going to recover without
gaining everything I had lost.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So that's what I'm reallytrying to get across.
Is that like it's scary, butyou don't have to be stuck in
this cycle for the rest of yourlife?
Like you can get out of it?
Yes, it's going to take work,it's going to take longer than
you expect, but it's going to bea lot better for you in the end
.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
So are there for you, and this is like a little pop
quiz off the top of your head.
For women who are looking forlike nutrient dense foods that
are like this is a great go tojust for daily or even whatever
every other day.
Like this should be kind of astaple.
(31:18):
Like just start eating it,because it's really going to
give you a boost.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, I would honestly say that varies from
person to person.
One thing that I have most womenstart doing is and I do this
once a week too is I take my oldfear foods or I also had a
binge eating disorder.
So I take my old binge foodsand I do a fear food Friday and
you know, I showed them likethis is something I used to be
(31:44):
terrified of.
And now this is me, four yearslater, being able to eat it Like
, please, don't take the fouryear path I had to take, let's
do it the right way.
But so one thing I've starteddoing with my clients is having
them write a list of their fearfoods and then they have to try
one a week.
Having them write a list oftheir fear foods and then they
have to try one a week, I thinkthat is the biggest way.
(32:07):
Even if it's not nutrient dense, even if it's not even going to
give you a boost physically, Ithink that's the best way to do
it mentally is to start even ifall they can stomach is a small
bite, still going to give you aboost mentally to get yourself
out of that situation.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Right, because it's showing you you can eat this and
you're going to be okay, likeyou don't have to be.
And you know, I have to tellyou, getting the anemic
diagnosed, that kind of it kindof shocked me a little.
Not shocked me, but it shook meand I was like damn, like I,
you know.
So now it's funny that you dothat on Fridays, cause now on
Saturdays I'm like all know.
So now it's funny that you dothat on Fridays, because now on
(32:41):
Saturdays I'm like all right,jenny, you don't have to do the
intermittent fasting every day.
I've done my research betternow and I'm like you can do this
every Saturday.
It could be like your day, likethis weekend it's my birthday
weekend.
I'm like you know what, jenny,it's okay, you can have treats,
you're okay, it's going to befine.
(33:08):
And I think that's where a lotof us go for the restrictive
eating, because immediately inour heads we're told don't eat,
you're going to lose weight.
Even my husband, who's healthand fitness all the way, I mean,
this guy works out a couplehours a day.
He loves it, he's in greatshape, he's going to be 50.
He looks like he's 35.
It drives me crazy because Ilook 40.
So you know, like, but even him, he was like we'll just eat
less and I was like, yeah, butno, like that's not really how.
(33:30):
That's not the best way to goabout doing things.
Like, just, you know, noteating isn't the way to go.
Like, start cycling andhealthier food options.
Make your plate more, you know,vegetables and protein versus
like carbs.
That was the biggest.
I think the biggest biggestthing for me was to start
stepping away from carbs and notjust like not all carbs, the
(33:55):
white, starchy carbs.
You know, like it was justtaking those steps like that and
being more mindful.
Like, okay, did I eat anyvegetables today?
Like now I'm all about you knowthe dark, leafy greens, because
I'm trying to, even though Iknow what we just talked about
not ever really beating anemia.
I'm like I'm gonna do what Ican here.
I think it's things like thatthat women want that quick drop.
(34:23):
And realistically, it's likeeven if you don't eat for a week
and you do, you know a crazyfad diet and you lose five
pounds, you're going to gainthat weight back the next week.
Like it's not sustainable.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah, that's the biggest thing I run into when I
I'm talking to people is thatlike they don't understand why
it didn't work.
They're like right being solittle like I don't understand
why I'm not losing anything.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I'm like, okay, well it's not your body storing it
yeah, I'm like now.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
your metabolism is super low and damaged and it's
going to be a longer process andyou're going to hate this, but
you're going to have to gainweight back and we're going to
have to do it the right way andstart all over again.
And that was really painful forme too.
I mean, I had to take myselfthrough a lot of reverse diets
to get myself back out of it andnow I really run my platform on
(35:16):
, like emphasizing that you cando all this.
You can achieve your dream bodywithout tracking your calories,
because that was the biggestthing for me.
Like, even when I wasrecovering, I wasn't willing to
let go of tracking calories.
Yeah, I would have a fullanxiety attack if I wasn't able
to track it or if I wasn't ableto plan a meal out.
(35:36):
No one could cook my meals.
I had to cook them because Icouldn't tell what they were
putting into it.
So that's the biggest thing.
I think tracking calories is areally.
It can be either a really goodtool for some people or it can
be like one really bad slipperyslope and you just don't stop
falling.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I don't track them at all, I don't do it at all
anymore and agreed.
I think we have the samemindset there.
I will say my journey withweight has been so up and down
and, as I just mentioned, likewhen I had my kids.
I had my son in 2016.
And then I got pregnant with mytwins right away and they came
(36:15):
in 2017.
2017 and then 2017.
After I had them, 2018 into2019.
I was the heaviest I ever havebeen, ever and I was falling
into all of the fad diet, everyfad diet and probably every
product over the counter thatyou could get your hands on.
(36:38):
I would, would try it out and Iwent with.
I even tried the.
Yeah, I can say this.
I even tried Weight Watchersand I was doing it with my
sister -in-law where I was like,oh, let's do it together.
You know she was heavy too andI'm like, let's do this.
She was losing weight.
I wasn't losing anything.
Nothing I was doing was working.
Now, in retrospect, I thinkI've heard Weight Watchers is a
(37:02):
great tool to use and a lot ofpeople have had great success.
I think that because I wasn'treally aware of the nutrient
level and like what I wasactually doing.
I would be like, oh well, thisis only one point, and I would
gorge on the one point thing andthen I wouldn't actually eat
anything healthy for myself.
So I continued, even in thatmoment, to still have that
problem Only in 2019, it was thebeginning of 2019.
(37:25):
I want to say, like January,february, I started working with
a nutritionist and it wasincredibly eye-opening because
she had me doing journaling,like food journaling, and I
started looking at the list ofthings and I was like, oh my God
, I'm eating really awfully,like this is really terrible.
And so I was trying to eathealthier and I was really
(37:46):
really proud of myself and Iwent into her and I was like, oh
my God, I had the healthiestbreakfast.
You'll be so proud of me.
And she was like, oh, what didyou have?
And I was like, oh, I had.
I was like it was like oatmeal,a banana, and then it was like
a third thing, but it wasliterally all carb, like it was.
(38:06):
There was no, like it wasn't avariety of what I was really
supposed to be doing.
She was like well, listen, I'mglad you're eating better, but I
want you to realize everythingyou ate was very starchy.
And I was like what I thoughtit was healthy.
She was like, technically,individually, they are, but if
you combine them like that, andthen that's what you're putting
in your body like that's superstarchy, that's not going to
(38:28):
help you lose weight, and it wasan incredible reeducation for
me.
So I do want to say that anyonelistening that's you know
having a similar struggle andsaying to themselves like, oh,
I've tried all these diets, likenothing works for me.
You might not be doing exactlyhow it's supposed to be done.
You may be over doing oneportion of it versus another and
(38:49):
working with somebody I mean,I'll say it like I worked with a
nutritionist and that's how Iwas able to, to be able to get
myself back into a normal likefor me, state, and people like
Alexandria are here that havethis experience, that have the
education that can help guideyou through this, because it is
(39:10):
not something easily done.
You know you're flooded withall these Instagram images of
things that you don't reallyunderstand or you know, or
everything's Photoshopped andedited and this, and that you
really do need to work withsomeone that is going to look
out for your best interests andmake sure that you're staying in
like a good path, and that'swhere Alexandria comes in.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, and I think the biggest thing with those diets
and with Instagram is that, like, yes, all these new diets come
out, all these new methods andthis is my biggest pet peeve as
a coach is seeing other coachescome up with names for their
method and different, like juststrategic ways of explaining it
(39:55):
to make it sound like this brandnew thing that's going to
change your life.
And it just boils down to acalorie deficit, like that's
what it is.
And I mean I'm going to admitlike, did I name my process for
women going through likerestricted dieting?
Yes, I did.
It's called the mind bodymastery, but I'm not
(40:17):
sugarcoating it.
I'm telling you right now it's areverse diet.
We're going to raise yourcalories.
That's what it is.
I just gave it a nice namebecause I want you to understand
what it's going to do for you.
It's going to allow you tomaster both your mind and your
body.
It's not a four to 11 method orwhatever an influencer is
calling it.
I'm going to tell you what itactually does and what the
(40:38):
actual name for it is, becauseeven down to like the stupid
diets like keto that weren'teven built for weight loss, they
were built for epilepticchildren.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, and they're not built for women either.
They're not sustainable forwomen.
I just spoke to somebody elseabout that.
Go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
But even that boils down to you're in a calorie
deficit.
They're just having you takeout a whole food group to get
into a calorie deficit.
Like awful it's.
So I I was keto or keto myentire eating I did the same
thing.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I was keto too girl.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
It started off as carb cycling.
I did high, low and then theyall turned low.
I know it's technically 50,it's like 20 or 50 grams of
carbs a day.
That's all you can have.
I was having two.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I wasn't even keto, oh yeah, I was the same way.
I think I was staying under 15,but most of the time I was
under 10.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Yeah, I wouldn't even have fruit, it was oh, me
neither.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
It was so bad and now it's.
It's crazy I would.
So this uh, there's anotherperson that's going to be in the
same series as you and, um, shewas telling me she was like you
know, for especially for my agegroup, um, she's like we
actually need carbs duringcertain parts of the month
because of our cycle and that'slike a lot of women like we
(42:08):
actually need it, and the ketodiet like, yes, it'll have, you
know, quick effects.
It's not good for women.
This is just not something ourbody is going to really be good
with.
And that's something else Iwant to just mention too.
Is that a lot of these, you know, quote unquote science based
like diets or what have you likethey're not actually built for
us Because women are not part ofand I think I might have said
this on almost every episode,because it pisses me off so much
(42:29):
but women are not part ofclinical studies for the most
part.
So when they release studyinformation and study design and
say, hey, we did a study and xamount of people had success on
this diet, those people were men.
And I mean, like, most of thetime we're not represented
because our hormones are toounpredictable, so kind of just
keep that in your mind andthat's why, like, I do really
(42:51):
strongly recommend, like, ifyou're listening this and you're
, like I, have been struggling,I would really like to just have
a touch point.
Like people like Alexandria andI'm going to link all of
Alexandria's information in thedescription she's a huge
resource to you because she'llbe able to help guide you.
You know the struggle she'sbeen through so she can
recognize in you the same thingand the same through lines.
(43:13):
I'm sitting here saying I'vegone through the same things,
alexandria, by the way, I I Imean I have come out, I think,
mostly successful here.
So I do want you to know, likeI mean you can get all the way
through and, like, continue on.
And, for those of you listening, if you're in that struggle
right now, look at Alexandria.
I mean, she went through it tothe umpteenth, especially in the
(43:36):
industry which she was in andwas able to get out.
The other side, if you are in ascenario where you are you know
, quote unquote restrictivedieting, or if you are having a
sense that, like your, your bodyis just starting to shut down,
which it will if you go, you gotoo far this is the time to act.
You don't have to continue likethat.
Sorry, alexandra, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I get very passionate about those things.
I get passionate about it too,and I would probably just say
the same thing.
Like, I feel like so manypeople are unwilling to work
with somebody just because it.
I mean, it's hard to open up tosomebody about that, like about
your struggles and everything.
And I mean, even when I had acoach.
I had a coach when I was goinginto my first season as a
(44:20):
professional dancer andauditioning right after COVID
died down and things were likeback in person again and I had
her strictly for the sense thatI didn't want to fall back into
my old patterns again and that'sI completely lied to her our
entire three month journeybecause I was so ashamed of what
I was falling back into.
(44:41):
And in the end, even though Ididn't get out of it what I
wanted originally, itkickstarted me getting out of it
for myself, because I was like,wow, I've gotten to the point
where I can't even tell, like myown coach, who I know was here
to help me like I can't eventell her what's going on because
I'm too ashamed of it.
(45:01):
Like, and I still credit her tohelping me out of my journey
because she may not have knownwhat was going on, but I still
heard, I still listened toeverything she said and when I
was ready to, when it finally,you know, punched me in the face
and was like what are you doing?
It worked.
And I feel like sometimes Iespecially I'm a very I was an
(45:24):
aggressive trainer, I was theone that yelled at my clients in
the gym and I'm a verystraightforward coach Like I'm
not going to sugarcoat it, but Ifeel like sometimes I am that
punch in the face people need.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Well, I was just going to.
That's why I started laughing,because I feel like sometimes
you need to be punched in theface.
I mean not literally, but likesometimes you need it.
I didn't know for a really longtime that I had a problem, but
I had a problem and I remember Iwent to a family it was like a
holiday or something and Iremember I walked into my
(45:56):
cousin's house and I I think I'mfive, nine and I think I was
115 pounds at that point andwhich women are listening, you
all know that that's incrediblylow for that height and I
remember walking into the houseand everyone kind of just turned
(46:18):
and like was like house, andeveryone kind of just turned and
and like it was like.
I saw the pause in everybody and, um, my cousin later told me
that it completely freaked herout and she was like your head
looked like it was too big foryour body.
She was like you looked like abobblehead and I was like I was
like I.
I was like totally stunned.
I was like what was like?
(46:40):
Totally stunned.
I was like what are you talkingabout?
Like this is the you know.
In my mind I was like oh, Ilook amazing.
I didn't see it and it reallytook the punch in my face was
there was a couple of them andyou know one of them was that
class where the professor saidthe thing I lost someone in my
family.
We had a death in the family.
(47:01):
So there was like a few punchesin my face right at once that I
was like I need to stop.
I have to stop.
You might not be there yet, butit still is worth the
discussion because the only wayyou really know, like Alexandria
and I, you can't see ourfootage right now.
This is gonna go audio first,but we're laughing at each other
(47:21):
as we talk because I thinkwe're seeing similarities in
what the other person has gonethrough.
But only someone who's gonethrough it can really understand
this and how hard it is toreally say like, okay, I'm done
Because you're going tobackpedal it's life.
You can get through it and finda better path and sure, there's
(47:43):
hiccups along the way, but youcan do it.
If I did it and alexandria didit, there are loads of women who
are able to do it.
You can do this.
You don't have to be thestatistic.
That doesn't change.
You can.
You can make this change.
Um, alexandria, do you?
I know I keep soapboxing here,but I get really impassioned
(48:04):
about this and I can't help it.
Um, do you have any finalthoughts?
Would that you'd like to sharewith the audience?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
um, I think just that you know, I know how hard it
can be to bring yourself out ofa situation like this, and it
feels really alone it does.
It feels like you're isolatingyourself from everyone, and I
just want to promise you thatthere is a way out.
It's not going to be easy, it'snot going to be quick.
(48:33):
You're going to have to unlearn, a lot more than you're going
to have to learn, but there is away out.
And if you're thinking you haveto do it alone, you definitely
don't have to.
There are people like me and mywhole company, fitlife's
coaching like, who are notwilling to let you do it alone.
So if you're willing to go gethelp and you want that help then
(48:55):
I suggest you go find it.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
And listeners.
I'm going to link Alexandra'sinformation in the description
here.
I do strongly urge you to seeksupport if you're going down
this path and even, honestly, ifyou're not in the path of an
eating disorder, that if you'rejust looking for support and
you're just trying to gethealthy and you are seeing I
(49:19):
mean Alexander mentioned itearlier but there's sometimes
there's there's physicalsymptoms to poor nutrition and
all you know, mine was likesevere fatigue.
Brain fog is actually a symptomof poor nutrition.
So there's things that can bedone to help you.
So I do really encourage youall to reach out for support and
(49:40):
again, I'm going to linkeverything in the description so
you can take a look atAlexandra's web, like her
information, her social.
Just get connected and startreaching out, because this is
really, it's really important.
Thank you so much for coming onthe show.
I had a great time talking withyou.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is a lot of fun, of course, listeners, thank you for
hanging with us today and wewill catch you.
Hi everybody, this is Steel Rose's podcast.
This podcast has been createdfor women, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I'm very excited to introduceour guest today, alexandria
Morgans.
She is a certified personaltrainer and nutritionist who
found her passion for health andfitness through her career as a
professional ballet dancer.
Unfortunately, in an industrythat pushes unhealthy eating
(00:23):
habits, she did succumb to thepressure and developed an eating
disorder for three years.
She overcame her eatingdisorder and found her passion
in a career focused on healthand fitness as an online coach.
Alexandria, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hi, thank you so much for having me having me.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Um, I, I.
At first I want to commend youbecause, uh, having personal
experience overcoming an eatingdisorder, I do want to commend
you for that, because that is noeasy undertaking.
Um, it is a lot of work and alot of mental work.
Um, on my end, it was a lot ofmental work that I had to go
through.
Um, it's very difficult to beatthat kind of thing.
So I want to commend you onthat first before I say anything
(01:10):
else.
So congratulations to you onthat and for refocusing and
rechanneling your energy.
I'm thrilled that you did that.
But I would love for you tointroduce yourself to the
listeners and tell them aboutyour journey and how you came
through and how you got to whereyou are today.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
And thank you, yeah, I hatehaving to relate to somebody
who's had an eating disorder,because it's never a good thing.
But yeah, I mean I was prettymuch put in ballet as soon as I
could walk.
My parents like to say theyjust needed something to do with
me because I was dancing aroundthe house.
So ballet seemed like the rightchoice and I started when I was
(01:53):
18 months old.
I mean, ballet was everythingto me.
We are a military family and soballet was kind of the only
thing that was a good constantfor me when everything was
changing.
And I think what reallyjump-started my whole eating
(02:14):
disorder and that rabbit holegoing down into was when I
started getting into the moreprofessional world.
Because, to be completelyhonest, until I was a teenager I
had no idea you could make acareer out of ballet, didn't
know that existed.
And then I went to thisperforming art school in
Virginia and I got there and Irealized just how behind I was.
(02:36):
At every single studio I'd beento before.
It was always an activity forme to do and sounds like I'm
bragging, I promise I'm not, butI was always considered at the
top to do and sounds like I'mbragging.
I promise I'm not.
But I was always considered atthe top of my class and then I
got to this performing artsschool and I was at the very
bottom.
I was placed in the lowerclasses and I was completely
(02:57):
shocked because I'd never beenexposed to a lot of people who
were better than me and you knowthat pretty much just fed into
me, going from 10 hours ofdancing a week to 45.
And I was around 13 or 14 whenI started doing that and then,
when that didn't seem to begetting me any more roles or
(03:18):
things like that, it fell into.
Well, I know I look a lotdifferent than everybody else
does in this room, so that mustbe the issue that's there.
So that was a very longfour-year journey.
Took a long time to recover,because when you're in an
industry that doesn't want tolet you recover, it's really
hard to change your mentalityand get out of that, especially
(03:42):
because I mean I jumped straightfrom the pre-professional world
into two different companiesand I lived in Virginia for
another year after that withCharlottesville Ballet and they
were a very like, inclusivecompany.
I never felt any pressure fromthem.
But when I went to the secondprofessional company that I
worked with in California.
(04:03):
It was very much like they hadthe motto of being inclusive but
they did not at all practice it.
So the fact that I was someonecoming in who now had allowed
myself to heal partly I'm goingto be completely honest, and I'd
done that because I got intoweightlifting it was three years
(04:25):
into my eating disorder and mybrother was kind of I mean,
everyone was catching on.
I thought I was pretty sneaky.
No one knew, but even people Ididn't know knew what was going
on and he told me well, the bestway to be happy with your body,
or he was just trying he wastwo years younger than me, just
(04:46):
trying to get me to stop liketold me to get into
weightlifting and when I startedI was absolutely shocked
because I couldn't lift so muchas 10 pounds over my head oh,
wow because I had guns.
I was dancing 45 hours a weekand not even eating enough that
would what most would considerone meal.
So that kind of pulled itpulled me out of it because it
(05:09):
was.
It's very shocking to seeyourself and get to that point
and have the physical evidence.
And that was also the year thatI started my very first fitness
Instagram account to holdmyself accountable for my
recovery.
So then I came to this companyin California and I felt like
I'd healed, but then I was kindof hitting the same roadblocks,
(05:29):
like everyone in the room lookeddifferent than me.
I was definitely the only onewho did not have the
stereotypical ballet body, andthey may have had that motto of
being inclusive, but theydefinitely did not practice it.
And I heard my fair share ofcomments throughout my first
year, and that was also the yearthat I started going to college
(05:51):
full-time to be a dietician andspecialize in eating disorder
treatment.
So it was the first time in mylife where I took, like, the
real steps to recovery, like notthe ones that I took in the
beginning, where it was let meheal but not heal in the way,
where I gained the weight back,and that time around.
I was like no, you know, I'mready to heal, like I'm done
(06:14):
with this.
And you know that year went byand things were okay.
Things were fine, honestly, andmy second year at the company I
went back into it, just notloving it anymore.
I'd gone further into thefitness industry and I got my
personal training certification.
I started as a personal trainerat Gold's Gym and, honestly,
(06:39):
the days were just brutal.
I would go to work from 4 to 9amam and then I would dance for
eight hours and then I'd go backto work and then I would still
have around six hours ofschoolwork to complete every
night.
And you know, after two monthsof that I really had to sit down
with myself and be like, okay,this cannot continue.
(07:17):
Yeah, wow, I decided to retireand it was heartbreaking because
I was so mad at myself for notrealizing I hadn't been happy in
a long time, probably since Ientered the professional world,
and so it really kind of put asour taste in my mouth for my
(07:39):
last performance, like my lasthurrah to this career that was
supposed to be a lifelong thingfor me, because I didn't even
enjoy it, because I was just somad at myself for not realizing
how unhappy I'd been for thepast three years.
And then, after I retired fromdance, I spent a couple months
at Gold's and once againrealized that I wasn't happy.
(08:01):
I was like you know.
I'm not letting this happenagain.
I'm not letting myself stay inthis situation.
So from there, I quit gold, putin my two weeks and I started
my company, fitlex Coaching, andI've been running on this
platform of helping womenovercome past restrictive eating
.
And we're not just focusing onbody goals here, because, yes, I
(08:24):
want to help women achievetheir dream body, but I'm not
going to do it in a way that'sgoing to sacrifice your life,
your mental state.
I'm going to teach you how tolove your body while chasing
your dream one, because nothingthat you hate doing in the
process is going to be somethingthat's sustainable.
So right now, I'm really justfocused on helping other women
(08:46):
heal their relationship withfood, their bodies and get out
of the restrictive dietingmindset that ballet put me in
for so long and wouldn't let meout of, you know you've said.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You said a couple things that I want to touch on
here.
So one I think that it'swonderful that you took
something.
It's and it sounds like it wasalmost always there like this,
like fitness, interest infitness, you know, like it was
basically like almost alwayspresent from from what it sounds
like, from what you told us,and I think it's a fantastic
(09:22):
that you have taken something,that you went down this path of
you know the eating disorder andhaving to go through that, and
now you've turned something thatreally can take a lot of us out
and you know it's somethingthat a lot of women can't ever
escape, and you've been able tochannel yourself and your energy
(09:43):
into well, I've gone throughthis.
I'm going to help other womenreally truly understand how to
not, you know, obviously youwant to be healthy, but to love
who you are as you're doing it,because there is no this.
This isn't meant to be like ashameful thing.
We've gotten very society hastwisted quite a bit the whole
(10:04):
concept of women's health andeven down to.
I don't think I've shared Ishared this story with you, but
one of my little girls she wasfive and she was giving her a
bath and she was looking at herstomach and she was pressing on
her belly and I was like, ohhoney, what are you doing?
And she was like, oh, I'm fat.
(10:26):
And I was like what?
And like I was like, what areyou talking about?
And she was like my belly isn'tflat like the other girls at
school.
And I had to pause for a minutebecause I'm like, okay, she's
five, but I don't want, I don'twant to disregard her feelings
and be like no, no, no.
(10:47):
So I was like, well, I was like, oh well, who are you talking
about, you know?
And I just kind of talked itthrough with her and then I just
, you know, said like everyone'sbodies are different, everybody
looks different.
I was like are you, are youhealthy?
And she was like yeah.
I was like can you go joggingwith Bobby?
And she's like yeah, I'm likethat's it.
I'm like you're fine.
Um, we've been, because of mystruggles and because of what I
(11:10):
went through, we're very, youknow, specific with the kids
about that kind of stuff.
So we can, we can talk aboutlike that in a minute.
What I wanted to also talk aboutwith you is um, I know you
mentioned that you were mad thatyou didn't realize that you
hadn't been happy in a reallylong time.
And it's very interestingbecause I found myself in that
(11:33):
scenario and it's almost likewhen you come out of it.
It's like coming out of a hazeand you're like what was what
was I thinking this whole time?
Like who am I, you know're likewhat was I thinking this whole
time?
Like who am I, you know?
Like why didn't I see thissooner?
And I want you to hear this toothat's not just you, that's
(11:56):
almost all women, because wehave this very definitive should
I should do something.
So I'm gonna do it, regardlessof whether I like it or not, and
it sounds like you were doing alot of shoulds.
I should look like these othergirls.
I should be better than this.
And I want you to hear that,because hear this that, like you
(12:17):
, you were following the shouldsand not what you really wanted,
and now you're following whatyou really want, so you're able
to actually be happy foryourself because you're finding
the passion that you have yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, my reasons for continuing when I didn't love it
, like ballet instills in youthis perfectionism, and I mean I
always compared it especiallyto the end of being like a dog
wanting a bone from its master.
We would dance for eight hoursa day.
It didn't matter if we werebleeding.
(12:52):
I danced through three injuriesthat could have ended my career
and I just kept going becauseeverything was worth it if I got
a compliment from the teacher,if they even looked at me like
anything was worth the smallestbit of recognition.
And so my reasons forcontinuing were that I wanted to
(13:13):
break the glass ceiling ofballet, because I feel like
we've made a lot of improvementsin acting and the arts and
modeling, where weightinclusivity has gotten better,
like we're not perfect, ofcourse, but it's a lot better
than it used to be.
But ballet has never gottenthere, and I thought that if
(13:33):
someone was just willing to pushfor it, it would happen.
And then part of me was alsocontinuing, because it's a
performing arts, you hear a lotmore no's than you hear yes's.
And part of me was continuingbecause I wanted to prove
everybody wrong who told me Icouldn't do it.
And then I also wanted to provethe people who did believe in
(13:57):
me right.
I felt like I was letting peopledown if I didn't make it.
I felt like I was lettingeverybody.
I told I was going to be aprofessional ballet dancer.
I thought I was letting themdown if I didn't make it.
I felt like I was lettingeverybody.
I told I was going to be aprofessional ballet dancer.
I thought it was letting themdown if I didn't make it happen.
Um, and that was the biggeststruggle was just feeling like
I'd let my family down, feelinglike I'd let my friends down,
like because my whole identityjust came crashing down.
(14:18):
It didn't matter if I wasn'thappy.
It was that like that's what Iwas supposed to be.
For 19 years I was a balletdancer and now I'm not anymore
and that was a big.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
It was a big shift the weight lift though, the
weight off your shoulders fromcarrying other people's like
hopes for you must have beensuch a relief, because and I say
this because not exact samescenario, but I think a lot of
(14:52):
women will relate to again doingthings because they don't want
to disappoint someone else.
I think this is categorically afemale problem.
This is categorically a femaleproblem.
I don't really know any guysthat go through this and there's
(15:14):
.
So, I mean, I remember and thisis a little it's different than
what we're specifically talkingabout but even you know, when I
was in my mid-20s, I rememberwhen I started to change as a
person and I was trying tobetter myself and do things
better for myself and I started,you know, meditating, doing,
and the reactions were so severefrom people for just because I
(15:36):
was trying to better myself, andit was like the most negative
outpouring and I was like, oh, Iwas like what?
I'm just trying to do thingsbetter.
And then what?
Eventually, alexandra,eventually, what happened?
I started losing people in mylife Because it was, it was
(15:56):
almost like them showing theirreal face and I was like, well,
if you want me to just stay put,because it makes you
comfortable, like that's notokay either.
I need to be able to be who Iam and be happy with who I am
and I'm, I'm.
I'm happy you're in thebeginnings of your journey for
that and that you're startingdown that path and it's going to
(16:18):
.
It's going to bring you so muchmore of a light into your life
because you're doing somethingthat you actually really are
passionate about and you enjoy.
So that alone is like a hugeleap forward for you and you
will see, like, in the next fewyears, if you maintain that
focus which I think you will youwill see a tremendous amount of
(16:41):
growth because people will findyou, people who are do you know
what I'm saying Like and I knowthat sounds very like woo, woo,
but the fact of the matter islike, when you're putting that
energy out there and you'reputting the energy out that you
have this positive vibe and youreally want to help people, and
that's the energy you're puttingon the table, they are that the
people who need to hear you andthe people who need to partner
(17:04):
with you are going to come andfind you.
It's just going to start fallinglike dominoes and when that
happens, that's it.
Like you're, I mean, you'regoing to be off to the races.
So and it will happen for youbecause you have this passion
Now in the work that you've donethus far for your and even just
in your studies in general forwomen who are looking to be
(17:31):
healthier.
I've always heard I mean, I'veheard mixed things, but I want
to ask you like diet versusexercise, I've always heard that
start, it starts in the kitchenwhen you're trying to be
healthier.
Is that along the same lines aswhat you heard not heard, but
what you know from youreducation?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, it definitely starts with your diet.
I don't love this phrase, but Ithink it does make a lot of
sense.
You can't out-train a bad diet.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, that's fair, that's right.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
You can work out all you want, but most like even if
we're going further into likenutritional deficiencies, health
efficiencies all of that comesfrom your diet.
Pretty much everything healthrelated comes from your diet, so
starting there is going to beyour best bet.
I always suggest diet first andthen exercise later, if it's,
because it's really alloverwhelming when you start at
(18:26):
once, and I feel like I startedwith both and went down that
really bad path, because I meanmost people when they start they
go from zero to 100 becausethey think that's what they have
to do.
Yeah, but even just those smallchanges to your diet can make
such a difference.
And one thing that I've learneda lot with college and my
(18:47):
studies to be a dietitian isjust how many, how many physical
manifestations of nutritionaldeficiencies there are and like
things that people think arenormal are like actually a sign
of what you're lacking in yournutrition.
And then people think, well,supplements, I just need
supplements.
Like no, supplements are notthere to replace your diet.
(19:10):
You got to start with thenutrition and then you can add
supplements if you're superdeficient.
But you can't out train a baddiet.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I have two things there.
One I'm actually kind ofembarrassed to admit this.
This was like, oh my gosh, like13 or 14 years ago.
It was when my husband and Ifirst started dating.
We were first living together,I wasn't working and I used to
go to the gym every single day,and so I was about 27 ish when
(19:41):
this was going on.
Um, and I would walk like amile and a half up to the gym.
I would work out for like anhour and I would do cardio and
weight lifting, and then I wouldwalk a mile and a half back
home and one would think that ifI was doing that every single
day, I would have been in peakphysical condition.
However, as we just discussed,diet will supersede what you're
(20:03):
doing at the gym and I wouldcome home and just eat crap and
just junk and just snacks, and Iwasn't mindful of what I was
putting in my body because Ireally never had that kind of
education.
I had no idea any nutritionalvalue of what I was doing and I
(20:23):
think I was like heavily carbsand it's like you know.
I was basically wasting allthat time at the gym because I'm
like what's the point?
I was probably just keepingmyself from going way, way out
of control at that point.
(20:45):
Flash forward to now, I'm stilllearning how to do this and how
to really maintain myself and,as I think I had mentioned it a
little bit earlier in ourrecording, a little bit of a
slippery slope when, once you'vehad an eating disorder.
It is a slippery slope becausethose habits are always kind of
there.
So the last I want to say,three or four months I had
started doing intermittentfasting because I'm I'm turning
(21:07):
41.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Wait, when this airs it'll beway past.
But tomorrow, as we'rerecording this, today, is my
birthday and so I'm turning 41.
And you know, in your 40s it'sharder for women to lose weight.
And somebody had told meintermittent fasting, check it
out.
So I'm trying it out.
And I started out really welland it was doing very good with
(21:29):
eating nutritional food.
And then somewhere over timethat shifted and I was like,
okay, I'm just gonna grab aprotein bar or I'm just going to
grab something quick, or I havethese macro bars.
And I was feeling, I think inthe past five or six months,
really fatigued, brain fog, justreally crappy.
(21:52):
I was having all these terriblesymptoms.
I said to, there was many timesduring the month where I'd be
like I feel like I'm dragging adead body around, eventually got
myself to the doctor and turnsout now I'm anemic because I
haven't been feeding myself.
So it's exactly what you werejust saying, and I'm like oh, it
(22:12):
starts back in the kitchen.
So I've had to yet again do areset and go back to okay, jenny
, even though you're avegetarian, we need to get you
back in shape.
So you're going to eat two eggsin the morning now and I'm like
all right, eggs in the morning,yes, I can do this.
I'm eating spinach at lunch yes, I can do it, and it's one of
those things that it never trulystops.
(22:35):
You have to focus on thehealthy diet.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, with my eating disorder I'm also anemic.
I have not been able to buildthat back up, unfortunately,
because as a woman, once you'reanemic, you're pretty much
anemic, You're just anemic.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, because with our periods, every month there's
no way to catch up, like I know, that's what was going on the
week before.
I was like it was terrible,alexandria.
I was like a dead body, likeyou couldn't even move me no, so
there's, there's no way tocatch up.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
And then, um, you know, personally, with my
nutrition, things got reallycomplicated because it's very
common for women, specificallywith eating disorders, to come
out of it and then havegastrointestinal issues, which I
also have, yeah, so I wasn'teven diagnosed until last summer
(23:31):
because, well, as soon asdoctors hear you had an eating
disorder, like they pretty muchdon't care.
I'm being honest, like I saw alot of doctors.
None of them cared and then theones who did didn't believe my
symptoms because I was too youngto be having them was their
excuse, like there's no way,you're 20 years old and you're
having these issues.
Um, yeah, same go ahead threeyears after my recovery and
(23:57):
having this horrible pain likemy stomach would swell up to the
size of a balloon and nothingwas working like.
I tried gluten-free, dairy-free, um, no meat like, tried
everything and then last summerI was diagnosed with severe
gastritis.
And because I was so severewith my eating disorder and then
(24:18):
doctors weren't listening to me, it got to the point where my
stomach was bleeding Like it wasreally bad.
And now I have all theserestrictions to my diet because
I'm never going to be able toheal the gastritis because of
the point it got it to.
I'm always going to have these.
The same thing with beinganemic, like always going to be
(24:39):
anemic.
Once you get to that pointbecause you just can't bounce
back and because of thegastritis like I had to take,
the biggest thing that wasshocking was I had to go way
down on my protein intake.
Oh, interesting, yeah, Becauseprotein is.
Protein is one of the reasonswhy when you're on a fitness
(25:00):
journey or just trying to behealthier is people tell you to
bump up your protein becausethat is the hardest
macronutrient for your body todigest, so it takes more energy,
it takes more calories fromyour body to digest a gram of
protein versus carbs.
So because I have gastritis, Ihave delayed gastric emptying,
(25:23):
which means it takes me probablytwice as long as it takes a
normal person to digest a meal.
So with the amount of proteinthat I was taking in, it was
taking me around eight to 10hours to digest breakfast.
Wow, so you were like warmhungry then?
No, I wasn't hungry for anothereight to 10 hours to digest
breakfast.
Wow, yeah.
So you were like warm hungrythen no, I wasn't hungry for
another eight to 10 hours afterbreakfast.
Oh gosh.
So I mean now I can't have morethan 90 grams of protein a day.
(25:47):
And I did see, I did see somemuscle loss because I was, I
mean, last summer looking backlike I was pretty jacked, yeah,
and now like I have a lot moreleaner muscle because I just
can't have that kind of proteinanymore Because I can't do what
I was doing before.
It caused me to have now lowtestosterone.
Now I'm trying to build thatback up.
(26:08):
There's so many things thathappen to you because of an
eating disorder.
In the moment, you don't thinkabout the lifelong consequences
that you're going to deal with.
No, you really don't.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
It.
Never.
I didn't have it.
I think I was only about a yearof a full.
I want to say it was about afull year, maybe 18 months, of
going through it before I, oh, Iwas in a class.
I was like what triggered me?
I'm just trying to remember,I'm sorry, I was having a senior
moment there.
(26:41):
I was in a class and, um, I wasa psych major originally before
I switched to communications andI'm in a psychology class and
this person gets up I think itwas the professor, was like
giving this talk and he saidthat women he was using he I
don't know how, if he just wentbroad, but he was like women who
(27:02):
have had abusive relationships,women who have eating disorders
, and he named a third thing.
He was like the likelihood ofthem being able to stop the
cycle is like x percent and itwas so low that it like shocked
me, because I was sitting therein the moment in both of those
scenarios abusive relationshipand eating disorder and I was
(27:26):
like I was like, oh man, likedid he just?
Did he say that?
I remember like I wrote thestat down and I'm like sitting
there looking at it and for meit was a pivotal moment of okay,
this isn't going to beat me,I'm going to be the person who
is in that margin that walksaway from this and is okay.
(27:47):
And within like a week, I think, I called a doctor myself.
I got my own therapist.
I started rolling.
I brought my parents in.
I was like look, I want you toknow this is what I've been
going through, this is what I'mgoing to do.
I want you on board with it.
And I kind of just startedrolling with it because I was
like I can't let this be therest of my life.
I was like I have so much morethings to do and it was very
(28:10):
difficult to get through and tobreak a lot of habits.
Even to this day, there's, youknow, habits that I have that
I'm like it's almost like secondnature and I have to catch
myself and I'm like no, jenny,this is okay.
Like you can, you can have thisfood.
Like you're okay, like this isfine.
(28:32):
And it's like self-talkingmyself every single day.
I also I will say this becauseI have daughters I'm also very
mindful of like I'm carefulabout how I talk about things
and I'm careful we're verycareful.
My husband and I had thisconversation when the kids were
born.
I have twin girls and twingirls and a little boy, and he
(28:54):
knows my struggles with weightand he knows that I've been up
and down and all over the place.
When I was pregnant I wasincredibly heavy and that like
messed with me mentally and youknow so because he watched me go
through so much.
I told him I was like I don't,I don't want the girls to have
the same outlook.
I don't want them to look atfood and weight and everything
the same way as me.
(29:15):
So we all work out together asa family.
Everybody works out.
I make sure, even though I don'treally want to, that they see
me working out and they seemommy being healthy and that's
really the line there.
As we always tell them, it'sabout being healthy and it
sounds like that's also yourmotto now at this point.
(29:36):
This is about being healthy.
This it sounds like that'sthat's like also like your motto
now at this point like this isabout being healthy.
This is not about a particularlook.
This isn't about like, oh, I'mjust trying to lose weight to
get to this dress.
Like this is a lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, that's what I'm really trying to get women to
understand.
And the hardest thing withrestrictive eating is that I I
was there I know exactly whatyou're feeling but, like some of
them don't, they're not readyto recover yet.
Yeah, they, they've reached thepoint where they want things to
change.
They don't want to be scared offood, they don't want to
(30:07):
experience the guilt and anxietyand shame, but they're not
really ready to take the stepsto get out of it because they're
not willing to accept theunknown of like oh well, am I
going to gain on the weight backand then I have to lose it all
again, like they're not readyfor that.
And that was my biggest hang upwith my eating disorder, because
(30:30):
I knew that there was no way Iwas going to recover without
gaining everything I had lost.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So that's what I'm reallytrying to get across.
Is that like it's scary, butyou don't have to be stuck in
this cycle for the rest of yourlife?
Like you can get out of it?
Yes, it's going to take work,it's going to take longer than
you expect, but it's going to bea lot better for you in the end
.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
So are there for you, and this is like a little pop
quiz off the top of your head.
For women who are looking forlike nutrient dense foods that
are like this is a great go tojust for daily or even whatever
every other day.
Like this should be kind of astaple.
(31:18):
Like just start eating it,because it's really going to
give you a boost.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Well, I would honestly say that varies from
person to person.
One thing that I have most womenstart doing is and I do this
once a week too is I take my oldfear foods or I also had a
binge eating disorder.
So I take my old binge foodsand I do a fear food Friday and
you know, I showed them likethis is something I used to be
(31:44):
terrified of.
And now this is me, four yearslater, being able to eat it Like
, please, don't take the fouryear path I had to take, let's
do it the right way.
But so one thing I've starteddoing with my clients is having
them write a list of their fearfoods and then they have to try
one a week.
Having them write a list oftheir fear foods and then they
have to try one a week, I thinkthat is the biggest way.
(32:07):
Even if it's not nutrient dense, even if it's not even going to
give you a boost physically, Ithink that's the best way to do
it mentally is to start even ifall they can stomach is a small
bite, still going to give you aboost mentally to get yourself
out of that situation.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Right, because it's showing you you can eat this and
you're going to be okay, likeyou don't have to be.
And you know, I have to tellyou, getting the anemic
diagnosed, that kind of it kindof shocked me a little.
Not shocked me, but it shook meand I was like damn, like I,
you know.
So now it's funny that you dothat on Fridays, cause now on
Saturdays I'm like all know.
So now it's funny that you dothat on Fridays, because now on
(32:41):
Saturdays I'm like all right,jenny, you don't have to do the
intermittent fasting every day.
I've done my research betternow and I'm like you can do this
every Saturday.
It could be like your day, likethis weekend it's my birthday
weekend.
I'm like you know what, jenny,it's okay, you can have treats,
you're okay, it's going to befine.
(33:08):
And I think that's where a lotof us go for the restrictive
eating, because immediately inour heads we're told don't eat,
you're going to lose weight.
Even my husband, who's healthand fitness all the way, I mean,
this guy works out a couplehours a day.
He loves it, he's in greatshape, he's going to be 50.
He looks like he's 35.
It drives me crazy because Ilook 40.
So you know, like, but even him, he was like we'll just eat
less and I was like, yeah, butno, like that's not really how.
(33:30):
That's not the best way to goabout doing things.
Like, just, you know, noteating isn't the way to go.
Like, start cycling andhealthier food options.
Make your plate more, you know,vegetables and protein versus
like carbs.
That was the biggest.
I think the biggest biggestthing for me was to start
stepping away from carbs and notjust like not all carbs, the
(33:55):
white, starchy carbs.
You know, like it was justtaking those steps like that and
being more mindful.
Like, okay, did I eat anyvegetables today?
Like now I'm all about you knowthe dark, leafy greens, because
I'm trying to, even though Iknow what we just talked about
not ever really beating anemia.
I'm like I'm gonna do what Ican here.
I think it's things like thatthat women want that quick drop.
(34:23):
And realistically, it's likeeven if you don't eat for a week
and you do, you know a crazyfad diet and you lose five
pounds, you're going to gainthat weight back the next week.
Like it's not sustainable.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah, that's the biggest thing I run into when I
I'm talking to people is thatlike they don't understand why
it didn't work.
They're like right being solittle like I don't understand
why I'm not losing anything.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I'm like, okay, well it's not your body storing it
yeah, I'm like now.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
your metabolism is super low and damaged and it's
going to be a longer process andyou're going to hate this, but
you're going to have to gainweight back and we're going to
have to do it the right way andstart all over again.
And that was really painful forme too.
I mean, I had to take myselfthrough a lot of reverse diets
to get myself back out of it andnow I really run my platform on
(35:16):
, like emphasizing that you cando all this.
You can achieve your dream bodywithout tracking your calories,
because that was the biggestthing for me.
Like, even when I wasrecovering, I wasn't willing to
let go of tracking calories.
Yeah, I would have a fullanxiety attack if I wasn't able
to track it or if I wasn't ableto plan a meal out.
(35:36):
No one could cook my meals.
I had to cook them because Icouldn't tell what they were
putting into it.
So that's the biggest thing.
I think tracking calories is areally.
It can be either a really goodtool for some people or it can
be like one really bad slipperyslope and you just don't stop
falling.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I don't track them at all, I don't do it at all
anymore and agreed.
I think we have the samemindset there.
I will say my journey withweight has been so up and down
and, as I just mentioned, likewhen I had my kids.
I had my son in 2016.
And then I got pregnant with mytwins right away and they came
(36:15):
in 2017.
2017 and then 2017.
After I had them, 2018 into2019.
I was the heaviest I ever havebeen, ever and I was falling
into all of the fad diet, everyfad diet and probably every
product over the counter thatyou could get your hands on.
(36:38):
I would, would try it out and Iwent with.
I even tried the.
Yeah, I can say this.
I even tried Weight Watchersand I was doing it with my
sister -in-law where I was like,oh, let's do it together.
You know she was heavy too andI'm like, let's do this.
She was losing weight.
I wasn't losing anything.
Nothing I was doing was working.
Now, in retrospect, I thinkI've heard Weight Watchers is a
(37:02):
great tool to use and a lot ofpeople have had great success.
I think that because I wasn'treally aware of the nutrient
level and like what I wasactually doing.
I would be like, oh well, thisis only one point, and I would
gorge on the one point thing andthen I wouldn't actually eat
anything healthy for myself.
So I continued, even in thatmoment, to still have that
problem Only in 2019, it was thebeginning of 2019.
(37:25):
I want to say, like January,february, I started working with
a nutritionist and it wasincredibly eye-opening because
she had me doing journaling,like food journaling, and I
started looking at the list ofthings and I was like, oh my God
, I'm eating really awfully,like this is really terrible.
And so I was trying to eathealthier and I was really
(37:46):
really proud of myself and Iwent into her and I was like, oh
my God, I had the healthiestbreakfast.
You'll be so proud of me.
And she was like, oh, what didyou have?
And I was like, oh, I had.
I was like it was like oatmeal,a banana, and then it was like
a third thing, but it wasliterally all carb, like it was.
(38:06):
There was no, like it wasn't avariety of what I was really
supposed to be doing.
She was like well, listen, I'mglad you're eating better, but I
want you to realize everythingyou ate was very starchy.
And I was like what I thoughtit was healthy.
She was like, technically,individually, they are, but if
you combine them like that, andthen that's what you're putting
in your body like that's superstarchy, that's not going to
(38:28):
help you lose weight, and it wasan incredible reeducation for
me.
So I do want to say that anyonelistening that's you know
having a similar struggle andsaying to themselves like, oh,
I've tried all these diets, likenothing works for me.
You might not be doing exactlyhow it's supposed to be done.
You may be over doing oneportion of it versus another and
(38:49):
working with somebody I mean,I'll say it like I worked with a
nutritionist and that's how Iwas able to, to be able to get
myself back into a normal likefor me, state, and people like
Alexandria are here that havethis experience, that have the
education that can help guideyou through this, because it is
(39:10):
not something easily done.
You know you're flooded withall these Instagram images of
things that you don't reallyunderstand or you know, or
everything's Photoshopped andedited and this, and that you
really do need to work withsomeone that is going to look
out for your best interests andmake sure that you're staying in
like a good path, and that'swhere Alexandria comes in.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, and I think the biggest thing with those diets
and with Instagram is that, like, yes, all these new diets come
out, all these new methods andthis is my biggest pet peeve as
a coach is seeing other coachescome up with names for their
method and different, like juststrategic ways of explaining it
(39:55):
to make it sound like this brandnew thing that's going to
change your life.
And it just boils down to acalorie deficit, like that's
what it is.
And I mean I'm going to admitlike, did I name my process for
women going through likerestricted dieting?
Yes, I did.
It's called the mind bodymastery, but I'm not
(40:17):
sugarcoating it.
I'm telling you right now it's areverse diet.
We're going to raise yourcalories.
That's what it is.
I just gave it a nice namebecause I want you to understand
what it's going to do for you.
It's going to allow you tomaster both your mind and your
body.
It's not a four to 11 method orwhatever an influencer is
calling it.
I'm going to tell you what itactually does and what the
(40:38):
actual name for it is, becauseeven down to like the stupid
diets like keto that weren'teven built for weight loss, they
were built for epilepticchildren.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, and they're not built for women either.
They're not sustainable forwomen.
I just spoke to somebody elseabout that.
Go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
But even that boils down to you're in a calorie
deficit.
They're just having you takeout a whole food group to get
into a calorie deficit.
Like awful it's.
So I I was keto or keto myentire eating I did the same
thing.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I was keto too girl.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
It started off as carb cycling.
I did high, low and then theyall turned low.
I know it's technically 50,it's like 20 or 50 grams of
carbs a day.
That's all you can have.
I was having two.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I wasn't even keto, oh yeah, I was the same way.
I think I was staying under 15,but most of the time I was
under 10.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Yeah, I wouldn't even have fruit, it was oh, me
neither.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
It was so bad and now it's.
It's crazy I would.
So this uh, there's anotherperson that's going to be in the
same series as you and, um, shewas telling me she was like you
know, for especially for my agegroup, um, she's like we
actually need carbs duringcertain parts of the month
because of our cycle and that'slike a lot of women like we
(42:08):
actually need it, and the ketodiet like, yes, it'll have, you
know, quick effects.
It's not good for women.
This is just not something ourbody is going to really be good
with.
And that's something else Iwant to just mention too.
Is that a lot of these, you know, quote unquote science based
like diets or what have you likethey're not actually built for
us Because women are not part ofand I think I might have said
this on almost every episode,because it pisses me off so much
(42:29):
but women are not part ofclinical studies for the most
part.
So when they release studyinformation and study design and
say, hey, we did a study and xamount of people had success on
this diet, those people were men.
And I mean, like, most of thetime we're not represented
because our hormones are toounpredictable, so kind of just
keep that in your mind andthat's why, like, I do really
(42:51):
strongly recommend, like, ifyou're listening this and you're
, like I, have been struggling,I would really like to just have
a touch point.
Like people like Alexandria andI'm going to link all of
Alexandria's information in thedescription she's a huge
resource to you because she'llbe able to help guide you.
You know the struggle she'sbeen through so she can
recognize in you the same thingand the same through lines.
(43:13):
I'm sitting here saying I'vegone through the same things,
alexandria, by the way, I I Imean I have come out, I think,
mostly successful here.
So I do want you to know, likeI mean you can get all the way
through and, like, continue on.
And, for those of you listening, if you're in that struggle
right now, look at Alexandria.
I mean, she went through it tothe umpteenth, especially in the
(43:36):
industry which she was in andwas able to get out.
The other side, if you are in ascenario where you are you know
, quote unquote restrictivedieting, or if you are having a
sense that, like your, your bodyis just starting to shut down,
which it will if you go, you gotoo far this is the time to act.
You don't have to continue likethat.
Sorry, alexandra, go ahead.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
I get very passionate about those things.
I get passionate about it too,and I would probably just say
the same thing.
Like, I feel like so manypeople are unwilling to work
with somebody just because it.
I mean, it's hard to open up tosomebody about that, like about
your struggles and everything.
And I mean, even when I had acoach.
I had a coach when I was goinginto my first season as a
(44:20):
professional dancer andauditioning right after COVID
died down and things were likeback in person again and I had
her strictly for the sense thatI didn't want to fall back into
my old patterns again and that'sI completely lied to her our
entire three month journeybecause I was so ashamed of what
I was falling back into.
(44:41):
And in the end, even though Ididn't get out of it what I
wanted originally, itkickstarted me getting out of it
for myself, because I was like,wow, I've gotten to the point
where I can't even tell, like myown coach, who I know was here
to help me like I can't eventell her what's going on because
I'm too ashamed of it.
(45:01):
Like, and I still credit her tohelping me out of my journey
because she may not have knownwhat was going on, but I still
heard, I still listened toeverything she said and when I
was ready to, when it finally,you know, punched me in the face
and was like what are you doing?
It worked.
And I feel like sometimes Iespecially I'm a very I was an
(45:24):
aggressive trainer, I was theone that yelled at my clients in
the gym and I'm a verystraightforward coach Like I'm
not going to sugarcoat it, but Ifeel like sometimes I am that
punch in the face people need.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Well, I was just going to.
That's why I started laughing,because I feel like sometimes
you need to be punched in theface.
I mean not literally, but likesometimes you need it.
I didn't know for a really longtime that I had a problem, but
I had a problem and I remember Iwent to a family it was like a
holiday or something and Iremember I walked into my
(45:56):
cousin's house and I I think I'mfive, nine and I think I was
115 pounds at that point andwhich women are listening, you
all know that that's incrediblylow for that height and I
remember walking into the houseand everyone kind of just turned
(46:18):
and like was like house, andeveryone kind of just turned and
and like it was like.
I saw the pause in everybody and, um, my cousin later told me
that it completely freaked herout and she was like your head
looked like it was too big foryour body.
She was like you looked like abobblehead and I was like I was
like I.
I was like totally stunned.
I was like what was like?
(46:40):
Totally stunned.
I was like what are you talkingabout?
Like this is the you know.
In my mind I was like oh, Ilook amazing.
I didn't see it and it reallytook the punch in my face was
there was a couple of them andyou know one of them was that
class where the professor saidthe thing I lost someone in my
family.
We had a death in the family.
(47:01):
So there was like a few punchesin my face right at once that I
was like I need to stop.
I have to stop.
You might not be there yet, butit still is worth the
discussion because the only wayyou really know, like Alexandria
and I, you can't see ourfootage right now.
This is gonna go audio first,but we're laughing at each other
(47:21):
as we talk because I thinkwe're seeing similarities in
what the other person has gonethrough.
But only someone who's gonethrough it can really understand
this and how hard it is toreally say like, okay, I'm done
Because you're going tobackpedal it's life.
You can get through it and finda better path and sure, there's
(47:43):
hiccups along the way, but youcan do it.
If I did it and alexandria didit, there are loads of women who
are able to do it.
You can do this.
You don't have to be thestatistic.
That doesn't change.
You can.
You can make this change.
Um, alexandria, do you?
I know I keep soapboxing here,but I get really impassioned
(48:04):
about this and I can't help it.
Um, do you have any finalthoughts?
Would that you'd like to sharewith the audience?
Speaker 2 (48:13):
um, I think just that you know, I know how hard it
can be to bring yourself out ofa situation like this, and it
feels really alone it does.
It feels like you're isolatingyourself from everyone, and I
just want to promise you thatthere is a way out.
It's not going to be easy, it'snot going to be quick.
(48:33):
You're going to have to unlearn, a lot more than you're going
to have to learn, but there is away out.
And if you're thinking you haveto do it alone, you definitely
don't have to.
There are people like me and mywhole company, fitlife's
coaching like, who are notwilling to let you do it alone.
So if you're willing to go gethelp and you want that help then
(48:55):
I suggest you go find it.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
And listeners.
I'm going to link Alexandra'sinformation in the description
here.
I do strongly urge you to seeksupport if you're going down
this path and even, honestly, ifyou're not in the path of an
eating disorder, that if you'rejust looking for support and
you're just trying to gethealthy and you are seeing I
(49:19):
mean Alexander mentioned itearlier but there's sometimes
there's there's physicalsymptoms to poor nutrition and
all you know, mine was likesevere fatigue.
Brain fog is actually a symptomof poor nutrition.
So there's things that can bedone to help you.
So I do really encourage youall to reach out for support and
(49:40):
again, I'm going to linkeverything in the description so
you can take a look atAlexandra's web, like her
information, her social.
Just get connected and startreaching out, because this is
really, it's really important.
Thank you so much for coming onthe show.
I had a great time talking withyou.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is a lot of fun, of course, listeners, thank you for
hanging with us today and wewill catch you.
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