October 23, 2025 • 8 mins
We explore the many faces of mom guilt after a busy stretch and trade perfection for presence, repair, and rest. Simple one-on-one rituals and low-pressure learning games turn limited time into real connection.
• balancing work and motherhood during busy weeks
• one-on-one time as an antidote to guilt
• turning games into low-pressure learning
• choosing presence over recording memories
• naming guilt types and why they persist
• asking for help and protecting rest
• honest apologies and emotional repair with kids
• accepting tradeoffs without chasing perfection
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello everybody, this is Steele Roses Podcast.
(00:02):
This podcast was created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope everyone's having awonderful week.
A little on my mind today, and II think I've been explaining
here and there because the theepisodes were a little bit
lighter in October, um, that Iwas very busy and I had to scale
back a little bit, which I talkquite a bit about giving myself
grace, which is why, you know, Ido that kind of thing, because
(00:24):
I'm not of the mindset anymorethat I'm gonna force myself or
stress myself out, I'm gonnajust roll with the punches.
But now that I've finishedanother busy couple of weeks, I
don't anticipate another setthis year, but now that I'm
coming down from the busyness, Iget that mom guilt area.
Now, this is something thathappens every time I have a busy
(00:47):
couple of weeks.
In those few weeks, my kids growup and change, and this is just
is what it is.
Thankfully, I am able to balancesomewhat and it's not intense as
much for long, long periods oftime.
My mental health is much betternow when it's busy, just because
I'm working with reallywonderful people, but that guilt
(01:10):
is still there over not beingable to be as fully attentive as
I'd like to be with my kids.
And so now I'm seeing therepercussions of it.
This is one of those areas whenyou have a professional career
as a mother that the guilt ispretty much always there.
Now I know why I chose to have aprofession.
(01:30):
I know why I went down thispath.
I am intensely aware of thesacrifices.
I know there's positives to ittoo, and I know that I am
showing a good example to thekids as well with my work ethic,
and I know and I've been told byother working moms one day they
are going to recognize what I'vedone and everything that I do.
(01:52):
And they're gonna acknowledgeit.
It's gonna click.
But in the moment, it doesn'tfeel good.
So last night was uh one of thefirst nights that I wasn't busy,
and I well, there was two nightsthis week so far.
So what is today?
Thursday, Tuesday Tuesday andWednesday evening.
I was able to get off early, youknow, six-ish, roughly, and both
(02:14):
nights I was able to spend timewith my kids one-on-one.
You know, one night I've readwith my daughter, last night I
played games with my son and myother daughter.
And it feels good to be able todo that because my whole goal
this fall, without them beingenrolled in any activities, was
for me to be able to just spendtime with them and just do
things with them that I thinkare gonna be helpful to their
(02:35):
brains, and you know, obviouslyjust spending one-on-one time
with them.
Something that I've beenincorporating into my one-on-one
time with them is twofold.
Beyond the fact that I want tospend time with them, I also
want to make sure their brainsare getting exercise, right?
My kids unfortunately did notpick up the love of reading like
I have.
So what I've started to do withthem at night, and I think this
is actually kind of a fun likeworkaround.
(02:57):
We have two games.
We have a counting game and thenwe have Scrabble, which we
called a spelling game.
Last night I pulled both out andI was like, oh, you know, who
wants to play counting and whowants to play spelling?
And for I want to say it wasabout an hour and a half, we all
sat on the floor and just didthese games.
And the spelling game inparticular, I was really happy
(03:19):
about that one because I hadintroduced Scrabble to them
before, but they didn't quitepick it up yet.
This time I didn't try to do anyrules with them.
I just said, Oh, the game is thegoal is look at your tiles and
be able to spell something.
And any word, put it anywhere onthe board, you know.
Once I did that, it was like thelights kind of went on, and
(03:39):
everybody was like really intoit and putting words on the
board.
Some of the words are verysilly, nevertheless, they came
up with it themselves and theyspelled it out correctly.
I'm not gonna complain.
So that was like a fun thingthat I was able to do with them,
and I think I'm gonna continuedoing with them because I left
the game upstairs.
On the note of mom guilt, I didfind a um a thought starter to
share with you.
(03:59):
These are all the types of momguilt that the universe never
intended for us to really carry.
The guilt, I'm gonna read theseoff to you and then I'll I'll
kind of just talk them throughas well.
So there's the guilt of notenjoying every single moment.
I quite often now, and you knowhow I feel now about being
directly in the moment, I amable to sort of pull myself
(04:22):
through and like obviously forthe most part, you enjoy your
kids, you enjoy your family,you're gonna be in the moment
with them.
I'm very particular about that.
I need to be in that moment.
I want to pay attention.
Um I want to take pictures andlike capture as well, but I also
want to be fully present andenjoying with them.
We did a Halloween activity lastweekend.
Um, their school puts on ahaunted house production, and
it's very, very cool.
(04:42):
They do a really wonderful job.
It's all volunteers, reallywonderful job that they do.
Um, so we go every year, and Ihad thought about that.
Like, why don't you record it,record you guys walking through?
It's a fun memory.
It is a fun memory.
I didn't want to record uswalking through because I wanted
to be in the moment with thekids and enjoying it.
Um so that I didn't record it.
(05:04):
I was just in the moment.
Now, there's gonna be othermoments though, and other times
when you're frustrated or youknow, you are stressed out about
something else, or you're youknow, it is life, you know, and
just because we're mothers andjust because we're wives doesn't
mean that we're not people.
And that as people we're gonnahave ups and downs.
(05:26):
So feeling guilty for notenjoying and being over the moon
for every moment, we don't needto feel like that.
We're people, you know, we haveour ups and downs just like
everybody else.
The guilt of needing rest andsolitude, this is a really big
one for me because for a verylong time, a very long time, I
(05:46):
felt like I needed to sacrificeevery single thing, every single
moment.
All of me was thrown into mykids.
All of them.
Like every single part of me.
I didn't think of myself at all.
I felt too guilty to say like Ineed help.
I think it was guilt.
I felt guilty and I felt like afailure saying I need help.
I felt like a failure saying Ineed to rest, I can't do certain
(06:09):
things, I can't go to the park,I can't go to the park with you
and the kids today because I f Ineed to lay down, why don't you
take them?
I never did that ever.
Now I do it because I'm muchmore aware.
But I used to feel tremendousamount of guilt for that, and
there really isn't any reasonfor that.
Big one for me here the guilt ofworking outside the home.
I don't work outside the home, Iwork from home.
(06:31):
But because I work from home,that work bleeds into the
evening, early mornings,whatever I can do to make it
happen is essentially what I'mgonna do.
And I do have to feel guiltabout that.
But I will carry that loadbecause this is the path that I
chose, and I do stand behind mychoice, regardless of the ups
(06:51):
and downs of it.
I know it affects all of us, butI do my best to balance, and I
think you guys all do too.
Oh boy, this is a big one.
The guilt of losing yourpatience.
How often do I feel horribleafter having to snap?
And not having to snap, butafter snapping on my kids
because they're just foolingaround.
I will say this.
(07:12):
I actually do apologize to mykids and acknowledge that I lost
my temper and that I'm workingon it.
And then I'll say, like, oh, youguys like pushed me a little
bit, but it's you know, mommywas also stressed out and you
didn't know.
And then we all talk about it.
So they're very well aware ofthat, which has been beneficial.
It has been benefici.
(07:32):
It has been beneficial becausebecause I'm so open and honest
with them about that stuff, thatthey uh they they pick it up and
they um they don't judgebasically.
Like, so when it does happen,they'll say to me, like, oh,
you're having a bad day, are youstressed about this?
Like they're very aware aboutit, which I think is a positive.
I do.
I really actually think that'svery much a positive.
(07:53):
But again, I feel horrible.
Just just yesterday morning, Iuh I didn't lose my temper, but
I had to raise my voice at thebus stop and it put my son in a
bad mood, and I don't like that.
I don't like doing that to him,and then I was it upset all
morning because of that.
So it's just one of those thingsthat's all wrapped up.
There is a few more on here, butI think I'm gonna save them
because these are pretty decentones, and I could probably touch
(08:17):
on these.
We can have a part two of this.
Key takeaway is there's a lot ofthings that we feel guilty about
that we really don't need to.
And you know, I think we do puta lot of pressure on ourselves
to be this perfect mother,perfect wife, perfect person.
And we don't have to be.
We just need to be ourselves,and we just need to do the best
(08:38):
thing that we can do forourselves and for our families.
And on that note, I am going tohope tell you all that I wish
you all a wonderful rest of yourweek.
I thank you all for being withme this morning.
I am very appreciative of all ofyou, and I hope to catch you on
the next one.
Take care.
Hello everybody, this is Steele Roses Podcast.
(00:02):
This podcast was created forwomen by women to elevate
women's voices.
I hope everyone's having awonderful week.
A little on my mind today, and II think I've been explaining
here and there because the theepisodes were a little bit
lighter in October, um, that Iwas very busy and I had to scale
back a little bit, which I talkquite a bit about giving myself
grace, which is why, you know, Ido that kind of thing, because
(00:24):
I'm not of the mindset anymorethat I'm gonna force myself or
stress myself out, I'm gonnajust roll with the punches.
But now that I've finishedanother busy couple of weeks, I
don't anticipate another setthis year, but now that I'm
coming down from the busyness, Iget that mom guilt area.
Now, this is something thathappens every time I have a busy
(00:47):
couple of weeks.
In those few weeks, my kids growup and change, and this is just
is what it is.
Thankfully, I am able to balancesomewhat and it's not intense as
much for long, long periods oftime.
My mental health is much betternow when it's busy, just because
I'm working with reallywonderful people, but that guilt
(01:10):
is still there over not beingable to be as fully attentive as
I'd like to be with my kids.
And so now I'm seeing therepercussions of it.
This is one of those areas whenyou have a professional career
as a mother that the guilt ispretty much always there.
Now I know why I chose to have aprofession.
(01:30):
I know why I went down thispath.
I am intensely aware of thesacrifices.
I know there's positives to ittoo, and I know that I am
showing a good example to thekids as well with my work ethic,
and I know and I've been told byother working moms one day they
are going to recognize what I'vedone and everything that I do.
(01:52):
And they're gonna acknowledgeit.
It's gonna click.
But in the moment, it doesn'tfeel good.
So last night was uh one of thefirst nights that I wasn't busy,
and I well, there was two nightsthis week so far.
So what is today?
Thursday, Tuesday Tuesday andWednesday evening.
I was able to get off early, youknow, six-ish, roughly, and both
(02:14):
nights I was able to spend timewith my kids one-on-one.
You know, one night I've readwith my daughter, last night I
played games with my son and myother daughter.
And it feels good to be able todo that because my whole goal
this fall, without them beingenrolled in any activities, was
for me to be able to just spendtime with them and just do
things with them that I thinkare gonna be helpful to their
(02:35):
brains, and you know, obviouslyjust spending one-on-one time
with them.
Something that I've beenincorporating into my one-on-one
time with them is twofold.
Beyond the fact that I want tospend time with them, I also
want to make sure their brainsare getting exercise, right?
My kids unfortunately did notpick up the love of reading like
I have.
So what I've started to do withthem at night, and I think this
is actually kind of a fun likeworkaround.
(02:57):
We have two games.
We have a counting game and thenwe have Scrabble, which we
called a spelling game.
Last night I pulled both out andI was like, oh, you know, who
wants to play counting and whowants to play spelling?
And for I want to say it wasabout an hour and a half, we all
sat on the floor and just didthese games.
And the spelling game inparticular, I was really happy
(03:19):
about that one because I hadintroduced Scrabble to them
before, but they didn't quitepick it up yet.
This time I didn't try to do anyrules with them.
I just said, Oh, the game is thegoal is look at your tiles and
be able to spell something.
And any word, put it anywhere onthe board, you know.
Once I did that, it was like thelights kind of went on, and
(03:39):
everybody was like really intoit and putting words on the
board.
Some of the words are verysilly, nevertheless, they came
up with it themselves and theyspelled it out correctly.
I'm not gonna complain.
So that was like a fun thingthat I was able to do with them,
and I think I'm gonna continuedoing with them because I left
the game upstairs.
On the note of mom guilt, I didfind a um a thought starter to
share with you.
(03:59):
These are all the types of momguilt that the universe never
intended for us to really carry.
The guilt, I'm gonna read theseoff to you and then I'll I'll
kind of just talk them throughas well.
So there's the guilt of notenjoying every single moment.
I quite often now, and you knowhow I feel now about being
directly in the moment, I amable to sort of pull myself
(04:22):
through and like obviously forthe most part, you enjoy your
kids, you enjoy your family,you're gonna be in the moment
with them.
I'm very particular about that.
I need to be in that moment.
I want to pay attention.
Um I want to take pictures andlike capture as well, but I also
want to be fully present andenjoying with them.
We did a Halloween activity lastweekend.
Um, their school puts on ahaunted house production, and
it's very, very cool.
(04:42):
They do a really wonderful job.
It's all volunteers, reallywonderful job that they do.
Um, so we go every year, and Ihad thought about that.
Like, why don't you record it,record you guys walking through?
It's a fun memory.
It is a fun memory.
I didn't want to record uswalking through because I wanted
to be in the moment with thekids and enjoying it.
Um so that I didn't record it.
(05:04):
I was just in the moment.
Now, there's gonna be othermoments though, and other times
when you're frustrated or youknow, you are stressed out about
something else, or you're youknow, it is life, you know, and
just because we're mothers andjust because we're wives doesn't
mean that we're not people.
And that as people we're gonnahave ups and downs.
(05:26):
So feeling guilty for notenjoying and being over the moon
for every moment, we don't needto feel like that.
We're people, you know, we haveour ups and downs just like
everybody else.
The guilt of needing rest andsolitude, this is a really big
one for me because for a verylong time, a very long time, I
(05:46):
felt like I needed to sacrificeevery single thing, every single
moment.
All of me was thrown into mykids.
All of them.
Like every single part of me.
I didn't think of myself at all.
I felt too guilty to say like Ineed help.
I think it was guilt.
I felt guilty and I felt like afailure saying I need help.
I felt like a failure saying Ineed to rest, I can't do certain
(06:09):
things, I can't go to the park,I can't go to the park with you
and the kids today because I f Ineed to lay down, why don't you
take them?
I never did that ever.
Now I do it because I'm muchmore aware.
But I used to feel tremendousamount of guilt for that, and
there really isn't any reasonfor that.
Big one for me here the guilt ofworking outside the home.
I don't work outside the home, Iwork from home.
(06:31):
But because I work from home,that work bleeds into the
evening, early mornings,whatever I can do to make it
happen is essentially what I'mgonna do.
And I do have to feel guiltabout that.
But I will carry that loadbecause this is the path that I
chose, and I do stand behind mychoice, regardless of the ups
(06:51):
and downs of it.
I know it affects all of us, butI do my best to balance, and I
think you guys all do too.
Oh boy, this is a big one.
The guilt of losing yourpatience.
How often do I feel horribleafter having to snap?
And not having to snap, butafter snapping on my kids
because they're just foolingaround.
I will say this.
(07:12):
I actually do apologize to mykids and acknowledge that I lost
my temper and that I'm workingon it.
And then I'll say, like, oh, youguys like pushed me a little
bit, but it's you know, mommywas also stressed out and you
didn't know.
And then we all talk about it.
So they're very well aware ofthat, which has been beneficial.
It has been benefici.
(07:32):
It has been beneficial becausebecause I'm so open and honest
with them about that stuff, thatthey uh they they pick it up and
they um they don't judgebasically.
Like, so when it does happen,they'll say to me, like, oh,
you're having a bad day, are youstressed about this?
Like they're very aware aboutit, which I think is a positive.
I do.
I really actually think that'svery much a positive.
(07:53):
But again, I feel horrible.
Just just yesterday morning, Iuh I didn't lose my temper, but
I had to raise my voice at thebus stop and it put my son in a
bad mood, and I don't like that.
I don't like doing that to him,and then I was it upset all
morning because of that.
So it's just one of those thingsthat's all wrapped up.
There is a few more on here, butI think I'm gonna save them
because these are pretty decentones, and I could probably touch
(08:17):
on these.
We can have a part two of this.
Key takeaway is there's a lot ofthings that we feel guilty about
that we really don't need to.
And you know, I think we do puta lot of pressure on ourselves
to be this perfect mother,perfect wife, perfect person.
And we don't have to be.
We just need to be ourselves,and we just need to do the best
(08:38):
thing that we can do forourselves and for our families.
And on that note, I am going tohope tell you all that I wish
you all a wonderful rest of yourweek.
I thank you all for being withme this morning.
I am very appreciative of all ofyou, and I hope to catch you on
the next one.
Take care.
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