When Your Partner Makes You Want to Scream: A Real Talk About Marriage

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Have you ever had that moment when your partner does something slightly annoying and you feel completely justified in considering murder? You're not alone. In this candid and refreshingly honest episode, I share a real-time revelation about the intersection of hormones, stress, and marriage during the chaotic final week of summer break.

Today started with back-to-back conference calls while juggling kids at home, only to be topped off with my migraine-suffering husband giving me "the look" about dinner plans while I was still on an important call. That pressure point—where you're already maxed out and someone adds just one more expectation—is universal in relationships. But what happened next changed everything: I recognized my disproportionate irritation wasn't just about the moment, but connected to my approaching menstrual cycle. This awareness didn't invalidate my feelings but provided crucial context that helped me respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.

This episode goes beyond just venting about marriage. It explores how self-awareness becomes our superpower in relationships, how external factors influence both partners' behaviors, and why comparing your relationship to social media ideals is a losing game. I also share exciting updates about recent podcast guests, including Erica Hoke's inspiring fertility journey, Elizabeth Kipp's powerful spiritual cleansing practice, and Rebecca Lyons' groundbreaking app for women's health advocacy. The episode wraps with gratitude for listeners worldwide, especially those in Vietnam and Peru where the podcast is gaining tremendous momentum.

Whether you're navigating relationship tensions, hormonal fluctuations, or just trying to survive the end of summer with your sanity intact, this episode offers both solidarity and practical wisdom. Listen in, take a breath, and remember—we're all just doing our best in this beautiful mess of life.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
good grief.
Happy Wednesday to everybody.
Happy hump day.
Oh my god, what happened?
I have to have to tell you guyssomething.
Sometimes when I do these umlittle mini episodes, um, like
today, I'm playing kind of likepodcast roulette and whatever is
going to come out of my mouthis going to come out of my mouth
, so I must be channelingsomebody who needs to listen to

(00:22):
this episode, because that'swhat's happening right now, like
that's the vibe we're in isjust going with the moment and
the flow and feeling it.
This week it's the last weekthat my kids are home for the
summer and it also sometimesseems to be the most stressful
week, which probably is like amind over matter situation, and
it's not really that stressful.

(00:42):
Thank god, the kids were incamp this year because I made it
through the summer without anervous breakdown, which, in my
book, is a bonus.
That might sound a little crazyto some of you, but, like
reality is, it is what it is andI like to be transparent about
that.
Last summer it was rough, butthis week in particular, the way
that I had mapped out the weeksthat the kids didn't have camp

(01:02):
was I would take half days, twodays a week while my husband was
working, and then he would takethe second half the week and be
home, so it wouldn't be as muchpressure on me.
This week he had to workadditional days and he has to
travel one of the days and soit's all sitting with me and I
didn't anticipate that.
So I'm not as prepared andtoday, um, I had a solid block

(01:25):
of six hours of calls and thingsthat I needed to be on, so it
was definitely a challenge tohave to be mindful because, like
they're children and they'rehumans and they need to eat, and
so having to keep an eye on thetime to pay attention to my
team, you know, like thatbalance is very difficult.
One thing I would like tocomplain about today and I
haven't done this in a whilewhen you're in married life,

(01:47):
there's going to be things thatpop up that are like this is
irritating, like this is just,this is a problem.
And today was one of those dayswhere I was feeling really
stressed, as I just said, I wasalready like kind of tangled up
and my husband came home andwasn't feeling well, had a
migraine.
I get migraines, so I'm verysensitive to this kind of stuff
and I like to be mindful becauseI'm like when I have my, when I
have a migraine, I takemedicine, I roll, but, like you

(02:11):
know, I'm sensitive to othersfor it.
So he came home bad mood,migraine, and it was about 504
and I was still on a conferencecall and the great thing started
now.
Usually I always you guys haveheard me before I always, always
, always put my husband up on apedestal because he is actually
truly amazing.
But like most husbands and Ithink all of our husbands of

(02:31):
course, they're amazing.
We married them.
We know we love them, forwhatever reason why we married
them.
That's a given, but it doesn'tmean that there's not irritation
.
Same with him to me.
I am certain I can see it onhis face where I'm being
annoying to him.
So he comes home from work,kind of.
You know he was holding ittogether, but I could just sense
that he was feeling off and hewasn't doing well.
And then you know I'm on thisconference call and it's

(02:54):
wrapping up, but it's not quitethere yet and I start to get the
look like what's happening?
Are you going to make dinner?
What do we need to do here?
Do we need to order food?
But I couldn't.
I didn't have the capacity tobe like hold on, hold on, you
know, and and sort of deal withall that and that little like
line of pressure where you kindof have somebody just like
making little comments, like offto the side.

(03:17):
I think that those are themoments that most women are like
if, if I was put before a judgetoday after murdering somebody,
they would probably be coolwith it.
And I like to highlight thisand also laugh about it, because
this is everybody.
There are moments for everysingle human out there with a
partner where that partner failsto, you know, rise to the

(03:39):
occasion, or that partner doessomething annoying, or the
partner you know doesn doesn't,isn't helpful and actually adds
more stress to the situation.
This is a given, it just is.
There is no perfection.
Please, for god's sakes, don'tgo down the rabbit hole of well,
so and so on, social media didx, y and z or so and so on.

(03:59):
Social media has this beautifullife like why isn't my life
like this and so and so'shusband is always sending her
flowers, or whatever the case is, I can guarantee you the grass
is not greener on the other sidein these moments where I feel
like I might choke someone out.
I won't, but if I feel like it Ialso do take a breath, because

(04:19):
I'm not usually that easilyirritated.
So I usually will take a breathand think to myself, like
what's the deal?
Like, jen, just calm down, likeyou're stressed today, yes,
it's fine.
And I start kind of like tryingto get myself together so that
I'm not sending off a bad vibe,because if I start to get worked
up, then he's gonna get moreworked up.
You see where I'm going withthis.
Like we feed off each other,you feed off your partner and

(04:39):
vice versa.
This is how it works.
And so I actually took a minuteand was like hold on a minute,
like why am I getting soirritated?
Like why am I flipping out?
Like I know I had a stressfulday, but usually I can balance
this really well like what thehell is going on.
And then I made the aha moment.
My cycle is gearing up again toto start and I'm due September
9th.

(04:59):
I'm a week out.
Boom.
This is my week, where I'musually enraged and I'm usually
very tired and I usually eat alot of carbs.
This week it is what it is.
But my point with sharing allthis is that, if you take a step
back and look at the reality ofthe situation, I even said to
my husband he's like I feel off.
I feel off.
We communicate a lot.
And so he said and he's like Ifeel, I feel off.

(05:20):
Today, and I was like you havesome stress on your plate, you
don't feel good, you had amigraine, your cholesterol went
like way up because you forgotto take your medicine, we have
visitors coming and you'repreparing for that, so you're
stressed about that.
All these outside factors aregoing to feed into how you're
feeling because it's pulling youin a few other, different
directions.
That's going to impact you.
It's going to make you feel offand then it's going to make you

(05:41):
respond differently to yourfamily.
I flipped out on my kids not notflip out, flip out but I like
yelled at them earlier becauseI'm like you guys are all asking
me for something.
I only have 15 minutes.
I was like guys, I was like I'mtrying really hard but I only
have 15 minutes to get you x, yand z.
Please just bear with me.
It is what it is.
You know you have to be able tocommunicate and pivot and like

(06:02):
roll with it.
So, while today was stressfuland I still have things that I
have to get to, I'm also reallygrateful that it's Wednesday,
because that means we're halfwaythere.
We're getting towards that endof the week, that golden end For
everyone in the US.
We have a holiday coming up onMonday, so we get to have a much
needed day to relax.
Maybe no, not for me, but formaybe somebody else um, I also

(06:24):
wanted to um, give everyone aheads up.
This week airing were threeguest episodes, so this past
weekend was pretty heavy duty interms of recording and I had
three recordings two on saturday, one on sunday.
So on the 25th we aired theepisode, or I aired the episode
navigating fertility challengeswith Erica Hoke Really really

(06:46):
inspiring story.
This woman was told she onlyhas a 1% chance to conceive and
she moved on to have childrenand happy, healthy life and now
she's helping other people dothe same.
So I do highly recommend herepisode.
She had some really decentinformation.
I do want you guys to know I dofact check and I do look into
people before their guests onthe podcast because I want to be

(07:07):
delivering the quality peoplethat you need.
This is one of those people.
Elizabeth Kipp was my eveningrecording on Saturday and, for
goodness sakes, hang for thewhole episode or skip ahead, I
don't care.
The part that you need to hearthat's most important to me that
you hear is actually at thevery end, because she does a
cleansing right in the podcast.
I didn't know she was going todo that and so there's a whole.

(07:30):
There's a brief moment at theend where she does a full
cleansing.
You can see the video, too, onYouTube and I actually bow my
head so I can take it in forreal.
I'm actually I'm going to booka session with her to do a full
cleansing because this spiritualcleansing was so powerful.
My whole aura lifted after thecall.
It was the wildest thing.
So I want to strong recommendthere Now in the next episode

(07:52):
that's going to be released ison Friday, friday Gaslighting to
Advocacy with Rebecca Lyons.
This is cool.
So Rebecca is a really amazingindividual.
She was a corporate person andshe's transitioned to
entrepreneur.
She's developing an app thatbasically helps share decision
making.
In a nutshell, it's going tohelp women pull together notes,

(08:14):
pull together their information,pull together symptoms to
inform their next doctor'sappointment.
This is a really big deal.
Women's health has been.
It's insufferable, really.
In my opinion, this is going tobe something that's really
going to help a lot of us.
So tune in for the Fridayepisode.
They're all long-ish they'reall about 45 minutes, but try to
get there.
You can watch it on YouTube too, if you want to have that

(08:36):
running in the background whileyou're like doing chores or
whatever.
But really good episodes forthis week and then this coming
weekend I do have two more lives, so I have here.
I can get you the updatedinformation, the lives you can
watch on youtube and you canwatch it on linkedin.
Let's see here on saturday I'mmeeting with karen diggs from 7

(09:00):
to 8 pm and sunday from 7 to 8pm.
And Sunday from 7 to 8 pm, I'mmeeting with Mary Walter Tune in
.
You can listen to it live oryou can catch the episodes when
they air.
The following week.
Live feeds are always going tobe on YouTube for you now so you
can check out the videos if youwant to watch the full
interview.
I hope you all are having awonderful week.
I really, really do.
We're getting there, gettingthere.

(09:24):
Fall is almost upon us.
I'm super excited.
Thank you for tuning in thisweek.
Thank you for hanging out withme here.
Shout out to my listeners invietnam thank you for showing up
the way you've been doingtotally awesome, I'm super
excited about having you guyswith me.
And shout out to peru, becausein peru still roses podcast is
very close to nearing the top200 podcast list in peru.
So big, big, big shout out toeverybody.

(09:44):
Thank you all for so much, forall of your support.
Thank you for being here withme today and I will catch you on
the next one.
Take care.