November 15, 2024 • 28 mins
In part 2 of our conversation with Mickie Murphy, a resilient leader with an inspiring story, we learn about how a life-altering car accident became a catalyst for her personal growth and transformation. Born into a life of constant change, with a military father and a journey filled with relocations, Mickie views change as an opportunity for reinvention. Her courageous decision to embrace the inevitable, letting go of her leg after countless surgeries, reminds us that even in the darkest times, healing and transformation are possible.
Her accident and subsequent experiences have unveiled a new purpose—speaking publicly to inspire others facing their own battles. Mickie encourages us to embrace our pivotal moments with intention and love, believing in our inherent ability to overcome adversity. Tune in as we explore the profound lessons of embracing change, sharing stories of transformation, and stepping confidently into the future.
Guest Bio:
Mickie Murphy, CPC, QPA, QKC, ERPA
Mickie leads the Blue Benefits Consulting practice firm-wide. Over 30 years in the retirement plan administration, has given her experience in serving client retirement plan needs in banking, record keeping and Third Party Administration practices. She specializes in retirement plan consulting, plan design and corrections, and has responsibility for new business development.
Mickie is an Enrolled Retirement Plan Agent (ERPA) with the IRS, and a current credentialed member of the American Society of Pension Professionals and Actuaries (ASPPA) with designations of Qualified Pension Administrator (QPA) and Qualified 401(k) Administrator (QKA). Mickie is also a current member of the Indiana Benefits Conference and has previously served multiple terms as Vice President of the Illinois Chapter of The ESOP Association as well as served on the Employee Benefits Committee of the US Chamber of Commerce. She has spoken and presented through various media on retirement plan subject matter before professional and business groups.
Connect with Mickie:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickiemurphy/
Connect with Theresa and Ivana:
Theresa, True Strategy Consultants: tsc-consultants.com
LinkedIn @treeconti, Insta @tscconsultants
Ivana, Courageous Being: courageousbeing.com
LinkedIn @ivipol, Insta @courbeing
SITP team, Step Into The Pivot: stepintothepivot.com
LinkedIn @step-into-the-pivot, YouTube @StepIntoThePivot
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This conversation is being brought to you in two
parts.
This is the remainder of ourconversation with Mickey Murphy.
Last week, we talked about her2023 journey, where she was
named president of her companyearly in the year and then had a
car accident where she spentthe second half of the year in
the hospital.
Listen on as she talks aboutthat experience and how that
(00:20):
gave her opportunity and how herpositivity came shining through
Absolutely, and even thoughthis was that accident was a
tragedy in so many ways.
I mean, you're alive, you'redoing amazing, you look amazing,
you laugh about it, you cantell the story, you can share it
(00:41):
, you can do all those things.
And and I think that's anamazing part and one of the
things we were talking about isabout change.
You know how you have to be.
Um, I think you and I are a lotof like that way.
We were talking about thisbefore about I like change.
For me, change is a challenge.
So can you talk a little abouthow you love change and how that
(01:03):
kind of factors in here?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Because a lot of people are afraid of change.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
A lot of people hate change.
They don't like that at all.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Well, as even I mentioned, I have lived all over
.
My dad was military, so we'velived on both coasts.
I was born in Kansas, we werein North Carolina, california.
He retired.
We were in Miami, carolina,california.
He retired.
We were in Miami.
So I had lived all over theplace by the time I was in
elementary school and continuedto just go with the flow.
(01:35):
I mean, my life has been thatway.
I ended up marrying Joe.
He's a pastor.
Well, where are we going tolive?
We moved.
The day we got married we wenthoneymoon, came back and loaded
up the truck and moved fromMemphis, tennessee, to Virginia.
So it it's a, it's another, it'sjust another way of living.
(01:58):
You choose to look at what canhappen, what is exciting about
this, and if you do, look atwhat's the opportunity here,
what, what can be, what can I dowith this?
This is another opportunity fordoing something I want to do,
and some people will say I canreinvent myself every time.
(02:19):
Well, I don't.
I don't need to be anybody else, but there might be something
else that that I might enjoydoing.
I'm hoping now that I can dosome other things, but I've
lived my life just lookingforward to that.
I love going in and findingsomething new that I can do.
The software changes we weretalking about before, teresa,
(02:39):
some people.
That's just horrible, butthey've also chosen to be in the
kind of work where they'redoing the same thing all the
time.
I'm even going to go takeanother job at a place that has
the same software, because Iknow that one Instead of looking
at, oh, we're doing the samething in all the different
places, which is the differentbutton that I get to push, okay,
(03:01):
you're all coming with the sameend product.
It's just a different way ofdoing it.
Either you can look at the bigpicture and say where am I going
to go and what is it that I cando there, instead of how am I
going to do this every singleday.
It gets you to the point whereyou can look and say oh, there's
a way I can handle this today,because I'm trying to get to
(03:23):
this other place, if that makessense.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So makes sense.
That's what you were sobeautifully actually
demonstrating when you weretalking about what is probably
like one of the hardest examplesthat I know of someone looking
at a situation that's notworking and then having to make
the decision to let it go.
And this is exactly what he'ssaying right now.
(03:50):
So there's a big picture.
Can I keep in mind the bigpicture and where I want to be
and what needs to change.
Some of it I can control, someof it I can't control what is
within my domain so that I canget to that place that I am, you
know, called to.
And what I'm thinking about isthis really difficult part of
your story where you're talkingabout we're all collectively
(04:10):
trying to preserve my leg and itis becoming obvious 15
surgeries, pain, not subsiding,it's getting worse in some ways,
and my whole system ismobilized to keep trying to
address something that is justnot moving in this way.
And then you have the courageto say let's let that go, let's
(04:33):
let it go, and then the healinghappens.
But it's like.
This is what it's probably oneof the most drastic and more
specific examples of somethingthat folks are really worried
about, Even when we're thinkingabout, like trying a new
approach in the team meeting.
Could we do this a littledifferently?
Like we're so afraid of sayingthis isn't working, let's let it
(04:55):
go.
And you did it with, like oneof the most you know difficult
choices.
Yeah, Can you tell us a littlebit more about this?
About this like the knowingthat you listen to and then
being willing to say this isright.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yes, I don't.
I don't even know how to how tobe specific about that, but I
uh other than to tell you that II live a faith-based life,
(05:32):
having had the experience of somuch change, growing up and, up
to that point, following what Ifelt like was leading for the
direction of our lives, doingthat together and believing that
that God has something in mindfor me.
(05:53):
I can tell you that this, youknow, the Cincinnati hospital
that I was in is a teachinghospital, and so I had the
hordes of doctors coming in,like 10 at a time, come in and I
wouldn't some days wouldn'tknow if I had seen any of them
before, but the, the theorthopedic surgeons I did.
(06:18):
Now I saw them more than theother ones.
And this, this sweet young mana lot of them were fairly young
had come to me multiple times,in particular about my leg, and
he was the one who came to tellme about my leg and I could see
it.
It hurt him to have to tell me.
(06:38):
So in a way I felt like I was, Iwas relieving him of that pain
of having to tell me because Ialready knew I, I in my mind
what couldn't put the piecestogether, why.
Why did they keep trying to dothis?
Of course this is their jobthere.
They were trying everythingthey could skin grafts, the
(06:58):
whole thing to to make thisthing work.
So by the time we were there, Iknew from experience just
having seen other people dealwith bodies that weren't full or
what you know, had somehowchanged during their lives.
But my mom worked with children,mostly young adults, that had
(07:23):
been born blind or had developedblindness in their childhood.
So I was a sighted guide fromthe time I was tall enough to
offer an elbow to somebody I'vejust been around people with
handicaps that to me, justhaving a piece of my body that
didn't work the same anymorewasn't an issue.
So between just knowing that Ithink there's a higher calling,
(07:48):
there's something else that Ineeded to do.
I started to tell you aboutthis other doctor who'd come in
every day, and one day he camein and he was pricking the back
of my hand and pricking the handDo you feel this?
Do you feel this?
And I said yes, and then heturned his back so I couldn't
see my hand and do you feel this?
(08:09):
And I'm saying yes, why do youkeep doing that?
And he said we didn't expectyou to have any feeling in the
back of your hand.
I do have a numb place rightbehind my thumb, but he was
going on.
I said, well, do you know whythat is?
And he goes.
I know God was holding yourhead and I thought, okay, I
don't need to say that to himanymore, because there just were
(08:37):
so many things that theydoctors would come and say, well
, we really don't know why thisis working, or we don't see
accidents like this wherethere's no head trauma.
I had no bruising, not even aknock from my neck up.
The rest of me was a wreck.
But they said I, you don't haveany head trauma.
We don't understand that.
And it's God was holding myhead.
It's the only explanation I hadfor being able to get out of a
(09:00):
massive accident like that.
The both the people in theother car died, so that in my
mind there's something else thatI need to do.
Um, and so God kept me here forthat and I just felt like that.
So I had complete confidencethat I'm here for a reason and
(09:21):
there's no reason for me to notbelieve that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Well, I was going to say two things.
One is you said a couple in theother car died and I think you
had told us before that theythink it was because they had a
medical issue, right, and that'swhat caused the accident to
start with and and that kind ofthing.
But just to kind of clarifythat.
But the other thing I was goingto say, that I was thinking as
we're talking was, um, I thinkyour positive app attitude, your
(09:46):
positive outlook helped yourecover better.
I think that that that, what wehave inside can can make or
break whatever it is where we're, we're doing, we're at, we're
the problem we're having.
Having that positive becauseyou always have it, it's one of
(10:08):
the things I always notice aboutyou and I love about you.
You always have that and Ithink that that really, to me,
is is probably one of the thingsthat helped you heal so well.
Sure you were in the hospital along time.
Sure, you had a lot to gothrough, sure, you had all these
things going on, but right, Imean that to me is an amazing
(10:30):
piece of your story, honestly,and that's.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I absolutely believe it and that's the the, the
positive attitude.
Again, that's something youchoose to have every single day
and you can choose to to makeeveryone in the world miserable
around you and to be miserableyourself.
That's a choice.
You can be miserable or you canlook for for what's good and
(10:53):
and beautiful and true and andlook for those things.
It's a choice every single dayand the people, the people that
you will draw to you when youhave that attitude are are
people who are looking for that,and you've heard me say this
too.
I had the doctors would say itas they came and did rounds
(11:17):
through my room that this issuch a peaceful room, this is
really just an oasis, but theywere on their way through.
The nurses would congregate inmy room.
I would look up and there'd bethree.
Hi, I know you're not mypatient today, but I'm just
coming back to see my Mickey orto see you, and my friend, who
(11:38):
has the same outlook on life,was staying with me for about
six weeks and they would justcome say hello because they
wanted somewhere quiet andsomeplace uplifting and they
knew that we'd welcome them andsay hello.
you know how's your day?
I had a nurse invite me to awedding she's having in Ireland.
I mean, it's just I, cause Iwould look at them and ask them
(11:58):
how was their day and want toknow how they're doing and what
was good and what you know thatwas genuine.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
That wasn't just talk , that is a genuine conversation
and and it's amazing, it'samazing.
Your whole story to me isamazing.
So I'm gonna let even to saywhatever she wants and to ask
our final question as we're,because I think we could talk
all day, for sure.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I want to comment and then, you know, roll into a
question.
Well, what I'm noticing, yousay two things that are so, for
me, deeply related, and I'mwondering if you can help us
connect them too.
On the one hand, you talkedabout being held by God and you
said my head held by God, andthat's.
(12:44):
I just know I have no reason.
You said I have no reason notto believe in that and at the
same time you're saying so,you're you're talking about, you
know something that there is,just words fail us as we start
to talk about it.
Then you talk about choice, freewill, personal responsibility
(13:06):
for tuning into, like, whichattitude, which attitude am I
choosing?
And I really love that becausefor me too, I mean, it's like
these are not separate thingsthat we need to balance out or
choose between Big presence thatI can choose to tune into,
always there, but I can becompletely disconnected from,
(13:27):
tuned out of.
And I love your focus on thispersonal responsibility and it's
a choice.
And the highlight of like, it'sa choice even with the sarcasm
like, which joke are you telling?
Are you telling the highfrequency joke that's really
connecting you to this?
You know bigger experience of abigger life, of a journey, of an
adventure, or are you choosinga cutting?
(13:49):
You know edgy, sarcastic, likea simple, like that.
And then you gave us someexamples of like much bigger
choices, like which life am Ichoosing?
Which disposition am I choosing?
You talked about crawling intoa dark space, right?
So does that resonate for youwhen I'm?
You know, drawing thatrelationship and the connection
(14:10):
between these two differentstates, one of surrendering to a
bigger presence and then theother one and I'm taking
personal responsibility here andchoosing.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Believing or not believing is a choice too.
I grew up with an agnosticfather and a very Christian
faith-based mother, and my bookswere divorced when I was early
teen and the gift my father gaveme was don't believe anything
(14:44):
you can't touch or see.
And I was in my 30s when Ifinally just said you know what?
I don't have to be in controlof everything, and I'm not
whether I believe I am or Idon't believe it.
And it was at that point that Isaid you know, this makes sense
(15:07):
to me that there is a God, aloving God, and I don't have any
control over what he, he doesor what is on this earth.
I have only control overwhether I choose to to follow
that or or not, and and myattitude about my life.
(15:29):
So, absolutely, those thingsare concisely attached to each
other.
I choose to follow God and Ialso choose to let that show
through me and to love the, thepeople around me.
(15:49):
And that's the other thing thatyou probably heard me say is I
choose to love my peeps.
I have had one of my team tellme before here are we always
choosing the nice things to sayabout somebody?
I said I, I choose to love myemployees in spite of themselves
sometimes, but I I choose to tolove them because that's the
(16:11):
only way that I can can live ingeneral and sometimes that you
know that that's our hardesttask is to choose to love
somebody in spite of who theyare.
And that doesn't mean that youdon't have to fire the people
who aren't doing their jobs oror take care of real life
business situations or whatever.
But you can sure be kind whenyou let somebody go and and give
(16:38):
them kindness where they needit and in spite of the situation
that you're in and hopefullythat's what you see in me and
that's what you see that it'slight, because that's that is.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm doing a job that is that's, that's absolutely
what I see in you, so, and and Ican see even a, so I think
she's in agreement okay, so sowe're less than a year since you
were out of the hospital,because you weren't on the
hospital December 23.
Now it you know we're tapingthis it's August of 2024.
Um, you just had anothersurgery in July, which you have
(17:16):
now are back from, which isamazing.
So, as our last question, wealways ask this how is this
pivot a step forward?
And I think I already know youranswer, but I want to hear it
from you oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Uh, how's it a step forward?
Um, it's a step.
Is it a step forward?
It's a different change for me,because, um, now you're not
talking about the, the lastsurgery, specifically no, I'm
talking about the last surgeryspecifically.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
No, I'm talking about the whole event, the whole yeah
, I'm sorry, my lights justchanged here.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
The whole thing is just giving me an opportunity to
look at life from a differentperspective.
What am I doing?
What?
What's up now?
What do I get to change?
And as I look at what'shappening and what can I do, um,
I'm sorry, I'm looking aroundas I think.
(18:25):
Another thing that was happeningbefore the accident we call
that BTA was I really feltprompted and I'll tell you, I
felt I was being prompted by Godto speak publicly and being
part of different conferenceswhere I was responsible for
getting speakers and being intouch with their agencies and
(18:48):
watching this process.
It was just like I wasphysically being poked in the
arm.
You need to speak, you need tospeak.
And I would go to my husbandand say I feel this so strongly,
but I have no idea what I'msupposed to say.
Is it toward the Christianaudience?
Is it faith-based?
Is it to secular audience?
I don't, I don't really know.
(19:09):
I, you know people really don'twant public speakers for
retirement play and stuff.
I mean, we get to talk to ourown peeps, but they don't like
pay for that.
Um, so I was really.
It was probably a couple yearsthat I was feeling this and this
probably second week.
I was in the hospital.
I looked at Jonah, said I knowwhat I'm supposed to talk about
(19:29):
now and he just kind of grinnedus.
I would have taken the facts,but you know this is where we
are.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
What?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
100 percent yes two weeks later my leg was amputated
and again a little bit of ablack humor in my family.
I said I have the visual now.
So I know I need to get upfront so that I can talk about
all of this and people will lookat me and say what, what's
happened, and I get to tell themthe story.
Um, and so I'm I'm excited tohave the opportunity to tell the
(20:04):
story.
I feel very much that I'mcalled to talk about faith and
change and resilience and how doyou prepare and live the life
that leads you to be able tobounce back?
We're born to be resilient.
We are born where we can't evenroll over, and then we roll
over, then we take steps, thenwe walk.
(20:24):
We're born where we can't evenroll over and then we roll over,
then we take steps, then wewalk.
We're born to get back up whenwe fall.
We're called to that as peopleto reach out, do new things and
keep going, and when we let thatdie, we let part of us die.
When we become stagnant, welose a piece of ourselves.
So I'm excited to be able totalk about that and say, look, I
(20:47):
you know, don't talk aboutchange, changing software being
tough.
Everybody's got their own stuff.
So, no, I don't like whenpeople say to me oh, what I've
been through is nothing likewhat you have.
I don't want to compare, I'mjust saying this I came back
from this.
You can come back fromsomething that seems so hard, so
(21:09):
hard a relationship that'smiserable, that you need to walk
out of.
You can do it.
You can figure out how to get adifferent job.
You can figure out how to dosomething different.
There's a way through it.
It sometimes it's a curvy pathand sometimes it it's gonna hurt
, but you can do it.
You can go do something else.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I hope that I can do that as a public speaker those
seeing me on YouTube see howexcited I am for you because and
the story really, like you said, it's not about the accident,
it's about all the other thingsand all the other things.
Everybody can learn from that,including you.
You've learned from this, right, we all learn from, from things
(21:55):
that are hard and things that,um, you know we have to do and
change, and all things out ofour control.
We learn from those and thoseare great learning.
So I am super excited to seewhat your next step is and to be
in the audience when you givethat first keynote address.
So I'll be excited to be there.
(22:15):
One of my favorite guests ever.
We've had a lot of great guests, but I love this story.
I love this story.
I love your resilience.
I love everything about this,so thank you for being here
today.
It's my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I have a post-scriptum question.
It's like behind the scenes.
I don't know if this gets addedright here in this spot or
maybe we find some fun way toadd it and tack it on someplace
else.
Can you tell us how'd you do ittoday?
So we're talking about keynote,like it's something in the
(22:49):
future.
You just talked about yourstory.
You just stepped into teachermode and you just did.
You just did it.
This was so hard and you know,teresa and I both have some
trainings that allow us toobserve how a person going
through an account of somethingthat was really difficult you
(23:11):
know what can I be doing or notdoing?
And then you shift and then youstart to talk about the
accident and you walked yourselfthrough the whole experience
here with us, remembering it,witnessing it here in your
(23:35):
mind's eye, and then youunpacked it, bought it through
conclusions from how did you doit?
How'd you do it today?
Uh?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
um, I say, way I did it first, way I.
I I'm a storyteller by nature,um, and I spent four months
lying in a hotel bed thinkingI'm I'm going to tell this story
, I'm going to write a book,which is next on the agenda, and
(24:08):
how do I want to tell thesestories?
So there are bits of it thatI've not known, like having
Katie Boyer tell me, malloy tellme that Joe called her because
I told her to.
I don't remember that at all,but the other pieces of it.
(24:30):
I literally would lay in bedand think, okay, how's this
translate to a business?
Because there were so manythings.
I knew that I needed to tellthis story somehow and that this
was part of what I wanted to do, but that I don't know it's
(24:53):
part of also looking at wherethis is going.
What's the big picture?
Standing back and saying, okay,here's what happened.
This is the physical part of it.
This is not who I am.
It was not vindictive, nobodydid this to me.
I am not a victim.
This is a thing that happenedto me and I'm on the other side
(25:15):
of it.
How do I?
What's the next thing I need todo?
So I there are other things Ihave lived through in my life.
This is not the first time thatI've had something hard to do.
This is the most physicallydamaging thing I've ever had
happen.
Obviously it's just a differenthard thing.
So it's a funny question to meDone it the same way I've done
(25:44):
other things.
I just go in order and pull outthe pieces and it's linear.
But it's interesting to evenhave you ask me Right.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, this is.
This is a demonstration of whatit means to be showing up, you
know, showing up for what ishappening, moment by moment, not
avoiding it, meeting it,meeting what is.
And then you know, open tolearning and asking okay, what's
, what's the next organic step?
What's the next organic step?
(26:15):
With?
You know, with love and purposeand on purpose, it's beautiful,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Oh, thank you, that's a fun question.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Well, thank you again for being here today.
We've really enjoyed it andtaking your time, and I think
there's a lot of lessons foreverybody to be learned, so
thank you again.
Thank you everybody forlistening.
We'll see you next week on thenext episode of Step Into the
Pivot.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And remember, if you have a pivot step into it and if
you have a good story, let usknow about it.
We'd love to welcome you on ourshow and hear it.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you Mickey.
Thank you.
This conversation is being brought to you in two
parts.
This is the remainder of ourconversation with Mickey Murphy.
Last week, we talked about her2023 journey, where she was
named president of her companyearly in the year and then had a
car accident where she spentthe second half of the year in
the hospital.
Listen on as she talks aboutthat experience and how that
(00:20):
gave her opportunity and how herpositivity came shining through
Absolutely, and even thoughthis was that accident was a
tragedy in so many ways.
I mean, you're alive, you'redoing amazing, you look amazing,
you laugh about it, you cantell the story, you can share it
(00:41):
, you can do all those things.
And and I think that's anamazing part and one of the
things we were talking about isabout change.
You know how you have to be.
Um, I think you and I are a lotof like that way.
We were talking about thisbefore about I like change.
For me, change is a challenge.
So can you talk a little abouthow you love change and how that
(01:03):
kind of factors in here?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Because a lot of people are afraid of change.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
A lot of people hate change.
They don't like that at all.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Well, as even I mentioned, I have lived all over
.
My dad was military, so we'velived on both coasts.
I was born in Kansas, we werein North Carolina, california.
He retired.
We were in Miami, carolina,california.
He retired.
We were in Miami.
So I had lived all over theplace by the time I was in
elementary school and continuedto just go with the flow.
(01:35):
I mean, my life has been thatway.
I ended up marrying Joe.
He's a pastor.
Well, where are we going tolive?
We moved.
The day we got married we wenthoneymoon, came back and loaded
up the truck and moved fromMemphis, tennessee, to Virginia.
So it it's a, it's another, it'sjust another way of living.
(01:58):
You choose to look at what canhappen, what is exciting about
this, and if you do, look atwhat's the opportunity here,
what, what can be, what can I dowith this?
This is another opportunity fordoing something I want to do,
and some people will say I canreinvent myself every time.
(02:19):
Well, I don't.
I don't need to be anybody else, but there might be something
else that that I might enjoydoing.
I'm hoping now that I can dosome other things, but I've
lived my life just lookingforward to that.
I love going in and findingsomething new that I can do.
The software changes we weretalking about before, teresa,
(02:39):
some people.
That's just horrible, butthey've also chosen to be in the
kind of work where they'redoing the same thing all the
time.
I'm even going to go takeanother job at a place that has
the same software, because Iknow that one Instead of looking
at, oh, we're doing the samething in all the different
places, which is the differentbutton that I get to push, okay,
(03:01):
you're all coming with the sameend product.
It's just a different way ofdoing it.
Either you can look at the bigpicture and say where am I going
to go and what is it that I cando there, instead of how am I
going to do this every singleday.
It gets you to the point whereyou can look and say oh, there's
a way I can handle this today,because I'm trying to get to
(03:23):
this other place, if that makessense.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So makes sense.
That's what you were sobeautifully actually
demonstrating when you weretalking about what is probably
like one of the hardest examplesthat I know of someone looking
at a situation that's notworking and then having to make
the decision to let it go.
And this is exactly what he'ssaying right now.
(03:50):
So there's a big picture.
Can I keep in mind the bigpicture and where I want to be
and what needs to change.
Some of it I can control, someof it I can't control what is
within my domain so that I canget to that place that I am, you
know, called to.
And what I'm thinking about isthis really difficult part of
your story where you're talkingabout we're all collectively
(04:10):
trying to preserve my leg and itis becoming obvious 15
surgeries, pain, not subsiding,it's getting worse in some ways,
and my whole system ismobilized to keep trying to
address something that is justnot moving in this way.
And then you have the courageto say let's let that go, let's
(04:33):
let it go, and then the healinghappens.
But it's like.
This is what it's probably oneof the most drastic and more
specific examples of somethingthat folks are really worried
about, Even when we're thinkingabout, like trying a new
approach in the team meeting.
Could we do this a littledifferently?
Like we're so afraid of sayingthis isn't working, let's let it
(04:55):
go.
And you did it with, like oneof the most you know difficult
choices.
Yeah, Can you tell us a littlebit more about this?
About this like the knowingthat you listen to and then
being willing to say this isright.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yes, I don't.
I don't even know how to how tobe specific about that, but I
uh other than to tell you that II live a faith-based life,
(05:32):
having had the experience of somuch change, growing up and, up
to that point, following what Ifelt like was leading for the
direction of our lives, doingthat together and believing that
that God has something in mindfor me.
(05:53):
I can tell you that this, youknow, the Cincinnati hospital
that I was in is a teachinghospital, and so I had the
hordes of doctors coming in,like 10 at a time, come in and I
wouldn't some days wouldn'tknow if I had seen any of them
before, but the, the theorthopedic surgeons I did.
(06:18):
Now I saw them more than theother ones.
And this, this sweet young mana lot of them were fairly young
had come to me multiple times,in particular about my leg, and
he was the one who came to tellme about my leg and I could see
it.
It hurt him to have to tell me.
(06:38):
So in a way I felt like I was, Iwas relieving him of that pain
of having to tell me because Ialready knew I, I in my mind
what couldn't put the piecestogether, why.
Why did they keep trying to dothis?
Of course this is their jobthere.
They were trying everythingthey could skin grafts, the
(06:58):
whole thing to to make thisthing work.
So by the time we were there, Iknew from experience just
having seen other people dealwith bodies that weren't full or
what you know, had somehowchanged during their lives.
But my mom worked with children,mostly young adults, that had
(07:23):
been born blind or had developedblindness in their childhood.
So I was a sighted guide fromthe time I was tall enough to
offer an elbow to somebody I'vejust been around people with
handicaps that to me, justhaving a piece of my body that
didn't work the same anymorewasn't an issue.
So between just knowing that Ithink there's a higher calling,
(07:48):
there's something else that Ineeded to do.
I started to tell you aboutthis other doctor who'd come in
every day, and one day he camein and he was pricking the back
of my hand and pricking the handDo you feel this?
Do you feel this?
And I said yes, and then heturned his back so I couldn't
see my hand and do you feel this?
(08:09):
And I'm saying yes, why do youkeep doing that?
And he said we didn't expectyou to have any feeling in the
back of your hand.
I do have a numb place rightbehind my thumb, but he was
going on.
I said, well, do you know whythat is?
And he goes.
I know God was holding yourhead and I thought, okay, I
don't need to say that to himanymore, because there just were
(08:37):
so many things that theydoctors would come and say, well
, we really don't know why thisis working, or we don't see
accidents like this wherethere's no head trauma.
I had no bruising, not even aknock from my neck up.
The rest of me was a wreck.
But they said I, you don't haveany head trauma.
We don't understand that.
And it's God was holding myhead.
It's the only explanation I hadfor being able to get out of a
(09:00):
massive accident like that.
The both the people in theother car died, so that in my
mind there's something else thatI need to do.
Um, and so God kept me here forthat and I just felt like that.
So I had complete confidencethat I'm here for a reason and
(09:21):
there's no reason for me to notbelieve that.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Well, I was going to say two things.
One is you said a couple in theother car died and I think you
had told us before that theythink it was because they had a
medical issue, right, and that'swhat caused the accident to
start with and and that kind ofthing.
But just to kind of clarifythat.
But the other thing I was goingto say, that I was thinking as
we're talking was, um, I thinkyour positive app attitude, your
(09:46):
positive outlook helped yourecover better.
I think that that that, what wehave inside can can make or
break whatever it is where we're, we're doing, we're at, we're
the problem we're having.
Having that positive becauseyou always have it, it's one of
(10:08):
the things I always notice aboutyou and I love about you.
You always have that and Ithink that that really, to me,
is is probably one of the thingsthat helped you heal so well.
Sure you were in the hospital along time.
Sure, you had a lot to gothrough, sure, you had all these
things going on, but right, Imean that to me is an amazing
(10:30):
piece of your story, honestly,and that's.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I absolutely believe it and that's the the, the
positive attitude.
Again, that's something youchoose to have every single day
and you can choose to to makeeveryone in the world miserable
around you and to be miserableyourself.
That's a choice.
You can be miserable or you canlook for for what's good and
(10:53):
and beautiful and true and andlook for those things.
It's a choice every single dayand the people, the people that
you will draw to you when youhave that attitude are are
people who are looking for that,and you've heard me say this
too.
I had the doctors would say itas they came and did rounds
(11:17):
through my room that this issuch a peaceful room, this is
really just an oasis, but theywere on their way through.
The nurses would congregate inmy room.
I would look up and there'd bethree.
Hi, I know you're not mypatient today, but I'm just
coming back to see my Mickey orto see you, and my friend, who
(11:38):
has the same outlook on life,was staying with me for about
six weeks and they would justcome say hello because they
wanted somewhere quiet andsomeplace uplifting and they
knew that we'd welcome them andsay hello.
you know how's your day?
I had a nurse invite me to awedding she's having in Ireland.
I mean, it's just I, cause Iwould look at them and ask them
(11:58):
how was their day and want toknow how they're doing and what
was good and what you know thatwas genuine.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
That wasn't just talk , that is a genuine conversation
and and it's amazing, it'samazing.
Your whole story to me isamazing.
So I'm gonna let even to saywhatever she wants and to ask
our final question as we're,because I think we could talk
all day, for sure.
I think so.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I want to comment and then, you know, roll into a
question.
Well, what I'm noticing, yousay two things that are so, for
me, deeply related, and I'mwondering if you can help us
connect them too.
On the one hand, you talkedabout being held by God and you
said my head held by God, andthat's.
(12:44):
I just know I have no reason.
You said I have no reason notto believe in that and at the
same time you're saying so,you're you're talking about, you
know something that there is,just words fail us as we start
to talk about it.
Then you talk about choice, freewill, personal responsibility
(13:06):
for tuning into, like, whichattitude, which attitude am I
choosing?
And I really love that becausefor me too, I mean, it's like
these are not separate thingsthat we need to balance out or
choose between Big presence thatI can choose to tune into,
always there, but I can becompletely disconnected from,
(13:27):
tuned out of.
And I love your focus on thispersonal responsibility and it's
a choice.
And the highlight of like, it'sa choice even with the sarcasm
like, which joke are you telling?
Are you telling the highfrequency joke that's really
connecting you to this?
You know bigger experience of abigger life, of a journey, of an
adventure, or are you choosinga cutting?
(13:49):
You know edgy, sarcastic, likea simple, like that.
And then you gave us someexamples of like much bigger
choices, like which life am Ichoosing?
Which disposition am I choosing?
You talked about crawling intoa dark space, right?
So does that resonate for youwhen I'm?
You know, drawing thatrelationship and the connection
(14:10):
between these two differentstates, one of surrendering to a
bigger presence and then theother one and I'm taking
personal responsibility here andchoosing.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Believing or not believing is a choice too.
I grew up with an agnosticfather and a very Christian
faith-based mother, and my bookswere divorced when I was early
teen and the gift my father gaveme was don't believe anything
(14:44):
you can't touch or see.
And I was in my 30s when Ifinally just said you know what?
I don't have to be in controlof everything, and I'm not
whether I believe I am or Idon't believe it.
And it was at that point that Isaid you know, this makes sense
(15:07):
to me that there is a God, aloving God, and I don't have any
control over what he, he doesor what is on this earth.
I have only control overwhether I choose to to follow
that or or not, and and myattitude about my life.
(15:29):
So, absolutely, those thingsare concisely attached to each
other.
I choose to follow God and Ialso choose to let that show
through me and to love the, thepeople around me.
(15:49):
And that's the other thing thatyou probably heard me say is I
choose to love my peeps.
I have had one of my team tellme before here are we always
choosing the nice things to sayabout somebody?
I said I, I choose to love myemployees in spite of themselves
sometimes, but I I choose to tolove them because that's the
(16:11):
only way that I can can live ingeneral and sometimes that you
know that that's our hardesttask is to choose to love
somebody in spite of who theyare.
And that doesn't mean that youdon't have to fire the people
who aren't doing their jobs oror take care of real life
business situations or whatever.
But you can sure be kind whenyou let somebody go and and give
(16:38):
them kindness where they needit and in spite of the situation
that you're in and hopefullythat's what you see in me and
that's what you see that it'slight, because that's that is.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm doing a job that is that's, that's absolutely
what I see in you, so, and and Ican see even a, so I think
she's in agreement okay, so sowe're less than a year since you
were out of the hospital,because you weren't on the
hospital December 23.
Now it you know we're tapingthis it's August of 2024.
Um, you just had anothersurgery in July, which you have
(17:16):
now are back from, which isamazing.
So, as our last question, wealways ask this how is this
pivot a step forward?
And I think I already know youranswer, but I want to hear it
from you oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Uh, how's it a step forward?
Um, it's a step.
Is it a step forward?
It's a different change for me,because, um, now you're not
talking about the, the lastsurgery, specifically no, I'm
talking about the last surgeryspecifically.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
No, I'm talking about the whole event, the whole yeah
, I'm sorry, my lights justchanged here.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
The whole thing is just giving me an opportunity to
look at life from a differentperspective.
What am I doing?
What?
What's up now?
What do I get to change?
And as I look at what'shappening and what can I do, um,
I'm sorry, I'm looking aroundas I think.
(18:25):
Another thing that was happeningbefore the accident we call
that BTA was I really feltprompted and I'll tell you, I
felt I was being prompted by Godto speak publicly and being
part of different conferenceswhere I was responsible for
getting speakers and being intouch with their agencies and
(18:48):
watching this process.
It was just like I wasphysically being poked in the
arm.
You need to speak, you need tospeak.
And I would go to my husbandand say I feel this so strongly,
but I have no idea what I'msupposed to say.
Is it toward the Christianaudience?
Is it faith-based?
Is it to secular audience?
I don't, I don't really know.
(19:09):
I, you know people really don'twant public speakers for
retirement play and stuff.
I mean, we get to talk to ourown peeps, but they don't like
pay for that.
Um, so I was really.
It was probably a couple yearsthat I was feeling this and this
probably second week.
I was in the hospital.
I looked at Jonah, said I knowwhat I'm supposed to talk about
(19:29):
now and he just kind of grinnedus.
I would have taken the facts,but you know this is where we
are.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
What?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
100 percent yes two weeks later my leg was amputated
and again a little bit of ablack humor in my family.
I said I have the visual now.
So I know I need to get upfront so that I can talk about
all of this and people will lookat me and say what, what's
happened, and I get to tell themthe story.
Um, and so I'm I'm excited tohave the opportunity to tell the
(20:04):
story.
I feel very much that I'mcalled to talk about faith and
change and resilience and how doyou prepare and live the life
that leads you to be able tobounce back?
We're born to be resilient.
We are born where we can't evenroll over, and then we roll
over, then we take steps, thenwe walk.
(20:24):
We're born where we can't evenroll over and then we roll over,
then we take steps, then wewalk.
We're born to get back up whenwe fall.
We're called to that as peopleto reach out, do new things and
keep going, and when we let thatdie, we let part of us die.
When we become stagnant, welose a piece of ourselves.
So I'm excited to be able totalk about that and say, look, I
(20:47):
you know, don't talk aboutchange, changing software being
tough.
Everybody's got their own stuff.
So, no, I don't like whenpeople say to me oh, what I've
been through is nothing likewhat you have.
I don't want to compare, I'mjust saying this I came back
from this.
You can come back fromsomething that seems so hard, so
(21:09):
hard a relationship that'smiserable, that you need to walk
out of.
You can do it.
You can figure out how to get adifferent job.
You can figure out how to dosomething different.
There's a way through it.
It sometimes it's a curvy pathand sometimes it it's gonna hurt
, but you can do it.
You can go do something else.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I hope that I can do that as a public speaker those
seeing me on YouTube see howexcited I am for you because and
the story really, like you said, it's not about the accident,
it's about all the other thingsand all the other things.
Everybody can learn from that,including you.
You've learned from this, right, we all learn from, from things
(21:55):
that are hard and things that,um, you know we have to do and
change, and all things out ofour control.
We learn from those and thoseare great learning.
So I am super excited to seewhat your next step is and to be
in the audience when you givethat first keynote address.
So I'll be excited to be there.
(22:15):
One of my favorite guests ever.
We've had a lot of great guests, but I love this story.
I love this story.
I love your resilience.
I love everything about this,so thank you for being here
today.
It's my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I have a post-scriptum question.
It's like behind the scenes.
I don't know if this gets addedright here in this spot or
maybe we find some fun way toadd it and tack it on someplace
else.
Can you tell us how'd you do ittoday?
So we're talking about keynote,like it's something in the
(22:49):
future.
You just talked about yourstory.
You just stepped into teachermode and you just did.
You just did it.
This was so hard and you know,teresa and I both have some
trainings that allow us toobserve how a person going
through an account of somethingthat was really difficult you
(23:11):
know what can I be doing or notdoing?
And then you shift and then youstart to talk about the
accident and you walked yourselfthrough the whole experience
here with us, remembering it,witnessing it here in your
(23:35):
mind's eye, and then youunpacked it, bought it through
conclusions from how did you doit?
How'd you do it today?
Uh?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
um, I say, way I did it first, way I.
I I'm a storyteller by nature,um, and I spent four months
lying in a hotel bed thinkingI'm I'm going to tell this story
, I'm going to write a book,which is next on the agenda, and
(24:08):
how do I want to tell thesestories?
So there are bits of it thatI've not known, like having
Katie Boyer tell me, malloy tellme that Joe called her because
I told her to.
I don't remember that at all,but the other pieces of it.
(24:30):
I literally would lay in bedand think, okay, how's this
translate to a business?
Because there were so manythings.
I knew that I needed to tellthis story somehow and that this
was part of what I wanted to do, but that I don't know it's
(24:53):
part of also looking at wherethis is going.
What's the big picture?
Standing back and saying, okay,here's what happened.
This is the physical part of it.
This is not who I am.
It was not vindictive, nobodydid this to me.
I am not a victim.
This is a thing that happenedto me and I'm on the other side
(25:15):
of it.
How do I?
What's the next thing I need todo?
So I there are other things Ihave lived through in my life.
This is not the first time thatI've had something hard to do.
This is the most physicallydamaging thing I've ever had
happen.
Obviously it's just a differenthard thing.
So it's a funny question to meDone it the same way I've done
(25:44):
other things.
I just go in order and pull outthe pieces and it's linear.
But it's interesting to evenhave you ask me Right.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, this is.
This is a demonstration of whatit means to be showing up, you
know, showing up for what ishappening, moment by moment, not
avoiding it, meeting it,meeting what is.
And then you know, open tolearning and asking okay, what's
, what's the next organic step?
What's the next organic step?
(26:15):
With?
You know, with love and purposeand on purpose, it's beautiful,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Oh, thank you, that's a fun question.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Well, thank you again for being here today.
We've really enjoyed it andtaking your time, and I think
there's a lot of lessons foreverybody to be learned, so
thank you again.
Thank you everybody forlistening.
We'll see you next week on thenext episode of Step Into the
Pivot.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
And remember, if you have a pivot step into it and if
you have a good story, let usknow about it.
We'd love to welcome you on ourshow and hear it.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you Mickey.
Thank you.
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