Stepping In to Find Strength and Balance in Love and Loss with Jessica Fein

In this deeply moving episode, Kara sits down with Jessica Fein, author of the book Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams and Broken Genes to explore the profound depths of love and loss she has experienced. Jessica shares her journey of building a family through adoption, experiencing the heartbreaking loss of her entire family of origin while navigating a degenerative disease process in her daughter Dalia, which eventually took her life at 17.   But this is not a story defined only by grief. It's a story of love, resilience, and the power of family bonds. The two talk about how she and her family navigate the complexities of grief while still embracing the beauty of life. They discuss the power of resilience, the importance of cherishing every moment, and the strength that can be found in love, even amidst unimaginable sorrow. This episode is a testament to the enduring power of the human spirit and will leave you feeling inspired and hopeful, even in the face of life's greatest challenges.

Highlights:

• The family tried to create a sense of stability through Dalia’s medical journey so that it did not define everything. Jessica chose to continue working to create a sense of routine and identity in such an intense caregiving situation.

• The armor of a to-do list or a focus on what we're gonna do to fix this isn’t always what is needed. Sometimes we have to sit in the sadness.

• Life keeps Life-ing. There is no pause button when you are going through extremely hard circumstances (and you feel like you need one)

• Finding ways to communicate and connect with loved ones who are not with us anymore

• Grievers in general feel guilt about a lot of things but it really is ok to be decimated and to hold a sense of joy. It’s both-and. 

Quotes:

• "My story is first and foremost a love story. And there is a ton of loss."

• "The book really is about Dalia's life. It is not about her death."

• "When we talk about loss, I am way more familiar with it than I ever wanted to be. And the flip side of that is the love that I have been fortunate enough to have throughout my life which has made those losses that much more painful."

• “There's always something good and normalizing when people can relate. But I also don't want to be, as Lisa Keefauer says, “a grief thief”... This is their story and I don't want to be like, ‘Well, let me tell you about mine.’”

Connect with Jessica:

• Website: https://www.jessicafeinstories.com/
• Book: Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes
• Podcast: I Don’t Know How You Do It
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feinjessica
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessica.fein.92/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-fein-b643b09/

Jessica Fein hosts the "I Don't Know How You Do It" podcast, featuring conversations with people whose lives seem unimaginable and who often hear that very thing. Her writing, which explores grief, resilience, and the unbreakable bonds of family, has appeared in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Newsweek, The Boston Globe, HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and other leading publications. Her work encompasses hope and humor, grit and grace – the tools that make up her personal survival kit. Jessica Fein writes the Grace in Grief column for Psychology Today and is a TEDx Spe