Stepping Into the Silence: A Conversation about Sibling Loss with Annie Sklaver Orenstein

In this deeply moving episode, Kara welcomes Annie Sklaver Orenstein, author of Always a Sibling: A Guide for Grieving and Honoring Your Sibling, to discuss her experience of sibling loss and grief. Fifteen years after the tragic death of her brother Ben, who was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan, Annie shares her personal journey of navigating the complex emotions and challenges that accompany this unique type of loss. Drawing on her own experiences and interviews with other siblings who have lost loved ones, Annie offers invaluable and honest insights into the grieving process. This episode offers a heartfelt glimpse into the complexities of sibling relationships, the unique challenges of grieving a sibling, and the power of finding connection and hope amidst profound loss. If you have experienced the loss of a sibling, or if you are seeking to understand and support someone who has, this episode offers solace, insight, and a path toward healing.

Highlights:

• The importance of sibling bonds and the often overlooked impact of sibling loss.

• The challenges of navigating grief in a society that often prioritizes "moving on" and the importance of honoring individual grieving processes.

• Common misconceptions and unhelpful platitudes surrounding grief, and how to offer genuine support to those who are grieving.

• Exploring anger and guilt as a part of grief.

• Identity shift that happens with the loss of a sibling.

• Annie's insights into the different ways that people grieve and the importance of honoring individual needs and preferences.

• The power of remembrance and the many ways to honor the memory of loved ones.

• Gain insights into the challenges of finding adequate support and resources specifically tailored to sibling loss.

• Moving on doesn’t mean letting go of the person you love.

Quotes:

• "People tell you lies when you're mourning."

• "There are a lot of things that happen in our lives that are never going to be okay."

• "You want your parents to be able to take care of you...and they can't do that now."

• “I think a lot of guilt comes from a misguided desire for control.”

Episode Resources:

• Book: ⁠ Moving On Doesn't Mean letting Go: by Gina Moffa, LCSW

Connect with Annie:

• Book: ALWAYS A SIBLING: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief 

Annie Sklaver Orenstein is a qualitative researcher, oral historian, and storyteller who has spent over a decade collecting stories from people around the world. Her work has been featured on NBC Nightly News,Comedy Central, Huffington Post, Politico, TIME, and Mother.ly. In 2020, driven by a desire to share these stories beyond the walls of corporate America, Annie founded Dispatch from Daybreak, a collection of letters written by women to their earlier selves. She lives in Connecticut with her husband, children, dog, and chickens.

Connect with Kara:

• Website: ⁠https://www.steppinginwithkara.com
• Patreon: patreon.com/KaraStoltenberg
• Newsletter: ⁠https://www.karastoltenberg.com/subscribe⁠
• Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/ste