September 3, 2025 • 38 mins
Life has a way of surprising us with transitions we weren't quite expecting. This week, Brad and Kate share the sudden shift into empty-nest parenthood that has happened, which they had not anticipated. As their four children all simultaneously launched into new adventures, Brad and Kate found themselves abruptly facing a quiet house filled with possibility and questions.
Throughout their discussion emerges a beautiful picture of what intentional marriage looks like in transition: honest communication about fears, shared dreams for the future, and the gentle ribbing that comes from knowing each other well (including an ongoing debate about a particularly aggressive holly bush in their yard). For couples facing their own transitions, this episode offers both practical wisdom and the comforting reminder that even relationship experts navigate change one conversation at a time.
Ready to invest in your marriage during life's transitions? Learn more about our fall groups and resources at aldrichministries.com and join us as we continue the journey of still becoming one for another season!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the Still Becoming One podcast.
We are Brad and Kate.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
In our more than 20 years of marriage, we've
survived both dark times andexperienced restoration.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Now as a licensed marriage counselor and
relationship coaches.
We help couples to regain hopeand joy.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We invite you to journey with us, as we are still
becoming one.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Let's start the conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hello everyone, Welcome back to Still Becoming
One.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
We are excited to be back.
I know many of our regularlisteners have recognized that
we took part of the summer offand at least took several weeks
off here.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think most of the summer.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Didn't we.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, it's been a little bit of a crazy summer and
a lot's been going on.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, maybe they thought we were just doing like
the silent practice for severalweeks.
Yeah, everybody sits in silence.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Everybody sits in silence, just sit in silence.
So we are super excited, nowthat fall is quickly approaching
, to come back and pick up withStill Becoming One and lots of
really exciting topics.
We have some good guestsscheduled and other things.
So I'm really excited as we'removing along here.
(01:27):
We have some good guestsscheduled and other things, so
I'm really excited as we'removing along here, but wanted to
honestly just share a littlebit of some of the interesting,
different challenges and thingsthat we've been going through.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, it's been a summer.
Well, let's be honest, I feellike life in general is a
mixture of holding reallyexciting things in life, really
good things that are happening,and then some of those really
hard things that bring a lot ofgrief, a lot of pain.
I feel like isn't that most oflife, yeah, yeah, but seasons of
more of one or the othersometimes, and I feel like we've
(02:00):
been in a season of holdingboth really.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Really exciting things happened this summer and
some really hard things happenedthis summer.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, I think that's exactly kind of how I've been
feeling and just kind of goingthrough this say, and we'll kind
of start off that I'm excitedfor this next season of our life
that's starting.
I think you know we weren'texactly anticipating it yet, but
(02:34):
I'm excited about it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
What?
Yes, what is this?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
next that we are kind of being plunged, jumping into
emptiness sooner than weanticipated.
Yes, and so all of our kids arelaunching in one way or another
, our oldest, who graduated fromMoody Bible Institute last year
(03:06):
.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
In May actually, yeah , same this year.
Well, yes, December.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
He graduated in December, walked in May and then
he has let us know that he iscurrently fundraising to become
a missionary in the UK Yep andhe is going with an organization
called AT3 and will bestationed near Liverpool and
(03:35):
working with a church out there.
So he is planning to launch inthat direction in December or
January of this coming year.
So he is way launching andwe're super excited for him.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
And he's moved to Chicago and then has not.
He comes home for holidays andstuff, but he's kind of base
camp there.
He loves Chicago.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So he is, yeah, been out and heading further out, and
our next son is in his junioryear in university, also in
Illinois.
Yep, the boys like Illinoisyeah they do, so he is heading
back there very shortly.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Or will be there by the time this comes out.
So and then our next ourdaughter is starting her
freshman year at Easternuniversity.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yep Eastern.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Kate's alma mater.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
That's not why she went there.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Kate won that.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I did not.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Arm wrestle.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But I can't say I'm not excited.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So that's you know.
I'm recognizing, as we're inthe process, that dropping boy
children off at college and girlchildren off at college is two
very different things.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Well, yeah, some is personality too, some is
personality too, some ispersonality.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Some is amount of stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I mean, you're not wrong, but probably your.
Well, I don't know.
Do you remember when yoursister went?
Yes, Probably.
It's just true in general.
Oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It was so much stuff.
And then I remember my, like myparents going is that all
you're bringing?
I'm like what else do I need,what else do I own?
I don't have things.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That's true, and that's how the boys were too.
I mean like I remember beinglike.
We need sheets, you need acomfort.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Like they were just like.
Oh yeah, I guess I do need totake that.
I mean, they basically thoughtpacking their clothes was all
they really needed to bring yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
So it's just you know , and like she's out doing
decorations for her room andshe's painting.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
She painted a bunch of old vinyls that we found at
the Goodwill bins and she'spainting flowers on them.
Hilarious it's adorable.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It's just who she is, so she's launching out and
really excited for her.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's going to be a huge transition, but she's such
a smart kid she's going to dojust fine yeah, yeah yeah and
then our youngest has kind of uh, launched into her senior year,
into an alternative school thatreally will focus on her mental
health for this year.
So um which we we hadn'tnecessarily anticipated, but we
(06:45):
all think it's probably a reallygood opportunity for her.
But that involves she lives atthat facility, and so we are all
of a sudden without anyone athome.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah, a year, at least a year in anticipation,
and we weren't even sure if itwas going to be a year right
like.
So we were like oh, it's goingto be several years before we
hit empty nest.
And now, actually, as we'rerecording this this week, it
will be like just us yeah, aftersunday, like today's monday
(07:19):
sunday everyone will be back sothose of you listening to this
whenever it out can ask us howit's going.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
We still have dogs, so it's not completely silent in
the home.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah, and honestly I'm really looking forward to it
.
You know, it's been now acouple of weeks that we knew
this was coming and I think it'sgoing to be a really good shift
for us, for our stress level,for our self-care routines for
our, you know, just things thatwe've been trying to be
(07:51):
healthier at for the lastseveral years.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
in that and I think we've been very intentional.
But, as you all know, there aresome aspects of some of our
kiddos' lives that we can'tcontrol, and I mean most of our
kids lives.
That's true as well.
But, like some of the thingsthey bring, yeah and so, um, and
some of the stuff we bring,guys, we're, we are not, you
(08:16):
know, uh, we don't.
It's not that we don't havethat aspect as well.
Um, so, yeah, I I'm excited too, but I think I'm the type of
person that when I know it'scoming, then I get super excited
because I we've had well, we'vehad yeah, we've had this
(08:36):
leaning leading up to it.
The fact that it just kind ofwas dropped in our laps pretty
fast, believe it or not, haskind of sent me into a mental
tailspin of like oh my gosh, Idon't have any problem being
home with you.
It's not that, and I'veexpressed this to both you and
our friends I'm more and moreworried that I will overwhelm
(08:58):
you.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Which I think is hilarious, that you think you're
going to overwhelm me.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, wait a sec, let's do story work here.
Why would I think that?
Because your, your family,never really saw your needs and
so you had to take care ofyourself right, and so one of
the biggest things for me islike I'm too much for people,
but then I'm also super highresponsibility, Correct.
(09:25):
So I'm like you know I've these.
How many years I've had kids to.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
To do, to work with and.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And take, you know, and we've been Take places.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
You know, we always say we've.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's been a huge part of my job.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
As we've gone through life, we got literally done
every combination of male,female working, staying at home
kind of thing, because youworked full-time while I went to
school.
Yes, um, and then there wastimes where we both were working
full-time yes um, there weretimes that, and when we had our
(10:04):
first son, we were both workingfull time.
Then there were times where Iworked full time and you stayed
home full time.
Then there were places you knowwe've done it all.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
We've done it all except you, as a stay at home,
dad.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
True, true.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
That's the only thing we haven't done.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
So this is a season and we've kind of been talking
about for the last.
I don't know.
Seven years or eight years I'vebeen full-time or full-time
plus, depending on how many jobsI have and you've been
part-time.
(10:41):
And now even for the last two,three years you've been
part-time and now, even for thelast two, three years you've
been part-time with AldrichMinistries and doing coaching
part-time, but we've been prettyintentional at trying to keep
you part-time.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
At home.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
So that other part-time was running the kids
around and doing all the thingsthat moms do.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
So how much are you kind of going?
I'm not sure what I'm going tobe doing with that time.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I don't know that that bothers me or worries me.
We had got, I mean, and this isjust a natural stage of life,
we have gotten to the pointwhere mainly what I was doing
with our kiddos sure, sewinginto them when they were home,
having conversations, checkingin with them, that kind of stuff
, but mainly the stuff I wasdoing was being a taxi, right A
lot.
(11:36):
Not that those moments, youdon't have moments in there too,
but I wasn't involved in what Iwas dropping them off to a lot
of times, and so I can't saythat I will necessarily miss
being a mom Uber.
But right, so that I don'tworry about that as much, I do
(11:59):
like I was thinking this morninglike it is our job as parents
to pursue our children.
It's not our children's job topursue us, which is something a
lot of people I think at thisstage get turned around a little
bit Like hey, you never call me, why don't you check in with me
(12:20):
?
It's actually, as parents, it'sour job to check in with them.
So I was reminding myself thismorning well, I'm going to have
a lot of check-ins I need to doright.
So we have four kiddos,different ways to reach out to
all of them, differentpreferences that each one likes
For sure.
We have one kiddo who lovesMarco Polo, one kiddo who
doesn't really like any way ofcontact, like he just doesn't.
(12:44):
It's not, he doesn't reallylike it with anybody else either
.
So like figuring that out.
So yeah, I don't worry so muchabout the free time.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Is that fair?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
No, I think it's very fair.
I think you've said a couple oftimes that you're scared,
you're going to overwhelm me orbug me or something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Well, I like you.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I, like you too.
I really don't mind hanging outwith you.
I think some of what you'rereferring to is as I've gotten
healthier.
One of the things that I'velearned how to do I think, in a
healthy amount is have somealone time, which is not
(13:30):
something I did when we werefirst married, or I should say,
if I did it when we were firstmarried it was with the TV.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah, or you just go off by yourself.
I feel like you did kind of dothat.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, but I wasn't very good at it and I think I've
gotten healthier with it.
Of like that.
You do see me go.
I'm going to go read a book, orI'm going to go lay in my
hammock, or something that isalone time, but I think it's a
healthy self-care for me.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, it definitely is, and you've always been good and
we for years, when we weredoing our healing process.
We don't mind being in eachother's space and space doing,
and doing some of that rightdoing our own, like alone time,
even though we're in the samespace.
But I do know and I've workedreally hard on it this last year
(14:25):
because I did struggle with itI do know, like when we're
sitting in each other's spaceand having alone time, if I'm
reading something that's funny,or I'm seeing something, or I
always want to share it with you.
Yeah, and sometimes brad's notup for that all well, I?
Speaker 3 (14:41):
that's where my add comes in, because if I'm like
reading a book and she, everyfive minutes, want to share
something with me I can't.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Five minutes, that sounds horrible.
It was probably even less thanthat sometimes, but anyways I
can't read my book, like it'sjust not possible for me to like
get back in it's.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
you know that kind of stuff, so that that's where
it's like not possible for me tolike get back in it's, you know
that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So that that's where it's like okay, and see, my
brain does that.
It's probably not good, but itdoes do that.
And so, like, if we're doingwork, I'd love to sit next to
him and then be like hey, so Iheard this the other day and
he's like what, I cannot focusif we're going to.
So I've learned this year tonot come into the office and sit
(15:22):
and do work next to you.
I do it out in the living roomor in the kitchen because I
can't.
I struggle to not chat with you, but I've learned my own way of
like okay, if that's hard forme, then what do I need to do so
that Brad can continue to befocused and I can continue to be
focused?
Okay, so what are you like?
You say you're not worried.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
At all.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
No, I'm really not, because we've anticipated
spending more time together foryears.
Right, and just the kind ofcasual dreaming of oh, get to
you know, do xyz.
Or you know we we can you knowand we enjoy spending time
(16:07):
together.
So I think we've worked on ourrelationship for a long time
that I'm really not worried thethe pitfall that we see couples
go through in this season for along time is that so much of
either both or one person in thecouple's energy has gone to
(16:29):
parenting the kids that themarriage hasn't had a whole lot
of energy.
So then those kids launch yeahand the person is left going.
I don't know what to do.
I don't think we're going torun into that.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I think we both have things we enjoy doing.
I think we both enjoy spendingtime together.
I think we do all of that stuffpretty well because we've been
intentional in growing some ofthat.
So that's where I'm not worriedabout it.
I think probably and this isalways a worry that we do talk
(17:10):
about regularly is it's easy forme to kind of just work more.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Especially, you know, having our own business work.
You know it doesn't have sethours, right Like so it's and we
do work a lot and it's.
So I think it's like oh, okay,I don't have to help with
transporting somebody right now,or like, so it's just almost
makes it easier, and I can kindof already feel this.
It almost makes it easier oflike well, yeah, sure I could
(17:38):
put in a session then.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
or yeah, I can do that right, where I need to be
cautious, of right, not doingthat too much well, we were
talking about this the other day, I think I brought it up is
like we work nine to nine mostdays, with the exception of
friday.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
We end early, but there's space in the middle.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Right, and that is a counselor, coach life many times
.
Unfortunately, people wantmorning and evening appointments
.
So our free time, our time forself-care, our time for well for
me, like doing family things.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Or exercise is often middle of the day.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, Like well, that's self-care.
But, like all that has to bedone in the middle of the day
and I said I am worried, we'rejust going to get up, get going
to work, we both do our ownself-care and then we both fall
into bed at 10 o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
And not really have that forced interaction and just
keep doing it day after dayafter day.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
So we're talking about, like, what does it look
like to not, and how do we?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
and yeah, I, mean, this is where we need a, you
know, a session of people who'vebeen empty nesters for a while
to talk back to us and say, okay, here's the stuff you're
missing, you know, because Ithink, um, we're thinking about
it.
We've certainly worked with somany couples who've gone through
this either well or not well,um, so I think we're probably
(19:01):
pretty prepared for it, but Iknow there's probably things
that we aren't thinking about.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Well, and I really do think we could talk to empty
nesters, but the reality is weneed someone.
I hate to sound like this, butit is really unique, Because if
we worked nine to five, andwe're talking about five to 10
every night that we have that'sdedicated time Right.
So you and I are even going tohave to like flesh out?
Do we have certain hours in themiddle of the day that we don't
(19:28):
take clients Both of us andthat's tough.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
It is.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Because I work with women a lot of times who aren't
working.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
They are at home Right.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
And so sometimes those hours are, you know.
So it's just like we just havea lot to sort of figure out, but
we also, I also know, like wehave a little bit of time, it's
not like we have to figure itout next week, no exactly, we're
just aware.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So it's, you know, transition, life throws
transitions and sometimes weplan on them, yeah, and
sometimes we plan on them?
Yeah, and sometimes you know wedon't, and this is one that we
really weren't necessarilyplanning on, right now.
Right now.
Right, we've been thinkingabout it for a long time but we
(20:13):
haven't really didn't know itwas going to be happening right
now.
So, yeah, it'll be interesting.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
we'll keep you guys in the loop of like how we're
doing and and what, what thatlooks like and how it's our
conflicts to the podcast, surey'all?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
like that yeah, um you sick people it is true, we
always get feedback when we uhdisagree on something.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
So yeah, but I'm I'm looking forward to being able to
focus a little bit more on uson the weekends, like focus a
little bit more on just bringingourselves to a better space.
Um, the last four or five yearshave been really hard on
everyone in our family.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Um, nobody wanted it to be that way, but.
But just to bring a little bitmore balance and hoping to get a
little bit more bandwidthcapacity in my own life to do
some things that I would like todo.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I think that's a really nice way of saying it.
I can feel that as well.
There've been projects andthings that we've kind of gone
no, we don't really have thecapacity for right now.
That I'm kind of excited for inthat.
So we're both diving into thenext level of Allender training
(21:37):
this fall and we'll have somemore capacity for that.
That's one of those, Um, but wealso, you know, have other
things that we're we're lookingat growing and doing more of.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Well, and it's funny when you just said that, I'm
like are you talking about all,just ministries only?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Okay.
Well, this is one of thosethings that we fall into all the
times that when you dream andkind of go, okay, where do we
want to grow, where do we wantto do, I tend like I tend to
immediately think about career,and I think most men do.
I think most men think aboutwhat they do and how they want
(22:19):
to do more of that or grow moreof that.
And so, yes, that is my firstthoughts of where that goes, and
there's been things that we'vebeen talking about doing in
ministry and in life, in thatform of life, for a long time
that we keep putting off.
So, I do think of that you werethinking more than just that.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I already started a list.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Really.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
On a Google Doc.
It includes painting the boys'room, painting the hallway,
organizing the basement.
It's all the things I'vethought like I've wanted to do
forever.
I wish you could see his faceright now.
I'm not, those were not on myforever.
Oh, she could see his face.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Those were not on my list.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
But they've been on our list.
Well, the hallway was on ourlist, but we moved in.
And our boys like painted theirroom camo colors but when they
were like I want to say likeeight and ten, yeah, and you
know they're just done with itand eventually it needs to be
kind of a more neutral color forjust future and whatever we do
with our space and whatever.
(23:23):
So those are the things thatcame to my mind and absolutely
stuff we've dreamed about doinghere too.
But I think that also speaks ofwhere both of our minds kind of
go.
You know, I think about all thehome things I haven't been able
to achieve that I've wanted toand think, oh, this is kind of
maybe the perfect opportunity.
(23:44):
And I, like you know, hearingyour dreams for our business.
I have some too, but I likehearing your dreams because I
think I think you have very goodinsight.
I think the Lord has gifted youthat way.
So I'm not saying I never havethings and want, because you
(24:05):
know I do.
I've listed different groups Iwant to do and different things.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, and I'm super excited by some of those.
I really want to see some spaceto get some of those to
fruition, because I thinkthere's some really valuable
things that we've talked aboutand just haven't had the time to
do.
I also, you know, I'm alwaysthis one who kind of has this
(24:28):
long-term vision of where I wantto see us grow and do and you
know expanding, you knowcoaching, but also being able to
do like intensives or doin-person groups or those kind
of things.
Um, I would love to have thecapacity to do which we just
really haven't yet.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
So does anybody want to give us a big property?
Yeah, seriously that we coulddo intensives, so and or groups.
Um, I'm just kidding.
No one needs to give us aproperty, but that's like,
that's probably one of ourbiggest dreams is to have a
property.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Where people could come and stay and process in the
downtime.
But then you know, have anintensive space or you know an
intensive weekend with a groupor that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, we could also do weekly groups in our area,
like we have such dreams aboutthat, and our current home has
been such an incredible blessing.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
It's so perfect.
I love our home, but it's notperfect for that.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
But our living room, sometimes with the six of us
we're kind of maxing it out attimes and when their friends
come over, we're absolutelypeople sitting on top of each
other and moving things to siton the floor.
But the Lord has been faithfuland we love our home.
But we do dream of a time and aspace that we could live on a
property, but also be, able toprovide these things to other
(25:54):
people, and if we owned it, thenthere's the ability to.
Of course, we have to charge.
This is our business.
This is how we pay for a home.
This is how we pay our team,who?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
works with us.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
But it would also give us the ability to, you know
, at times be able to offer itto different people whose
financial needs are different.
We work with a lot ofmissionaries.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Our heart is to help people.
That is the goal, yep.
And so, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No, I think that's great, and so those are some of
the passions I think about, asyou know, as you're talking
about what's next and where weare going, and I think that's
always been my wiring a littlebit.
Of course, I also do thinkpersonally of things, but I yeah
(26:53):
, what do you want to do withthat?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
You want to finish the woodpile.
I was like tell me somethingpersonal.
What do you want to do?
Yeah, I need to finish thewoodpile.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
You were saying that on my list is there's a bunch of
outdoor things that do needtaking care of right now, so
there are some things that Ihave.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Please tell me the holly bush is on your list.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
No, but the other dead tree is Guys, but the holly
bush isn't dead.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Guys, you want to have one of our conflicts right
here.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
This has been it, no you want to have one of our?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
conflicts right here.
This has been it.
No, the holly bush rightoutside of our front door has
been a source of contentionsince we moved in, and now it is
no longer a bush it is a hollytree um that thing like the
stump to that thing is 30 feettall now yep, but when I mow, it
attacks me every time yes guys,I shouldn, guys, I shouldn't
(27:41):
have to live with an attackingholly tree.
So okay, so that's not one ofthem.
Great, no what.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
No, there's just other things that need done.
And, yes, finishing the woodpile that didn't get finished
before it turned super hot, youknow, is on there, but like, so
there's those kind of things.
Super hot, um, you know, is onthere, but like so the there's
those kind of things.
But I think more than that,it's um, I, I, you know, I have
been thinking like, are thereother hobbies that I want to
(28:10):
bring back in my life?
That, um, that I just havepushed off I'm very curious.
Now, you know I it's interesting.
I'm not sure I we still havethe space for this, but um, I
was thinking the other day ofthe figurines I used to paint
when I, when we were yeah, prepre-kids and had space and time
(28:30):
yeah, and I'm like that was alot of fun.
I really enjoyed doing that but, um, I don't know if that will
ever come back, but you know itwas.
I know you enjoyed that a lot,for sure, um so, but I do think,
like I was actually processingthat was in one of my things of
like you know, I probably needsome other healthy hobbies as I
really worked on my healing Ithink a lot that I did was has
(28:54):
become shorter term or short,shorter length, self-care things
like you you know, reading abook or listening to a podcast,
or laying in my hammock ortaking a nap, like any of those
kinds of things that you knowsometimes 20, 25 minutes kind of
thing.
(29:15):
So maybe there's some hobbiesthat I need to get focused on
that are a little bit longer.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I haven't figured that out yet.
Yeah, yeah, that's interesting,cool.
Well, we will keep exploringand sharing if you want to know,
but we have been dreaming upand are implementing quite a few
things yeah.
The end of the summer this fall, at Aldrich Ministries.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, I'm really excited because we are launching
what four groups this fall isthe goal at least, if not more,
we have.
Actually, it is more than thatwe have.
I'm working on launchinganother unwanted journey for men
with unwanted sexual behaviors,so that's going to be coming up
(30:07):
in the fall You're launching.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I am.
I'm launching my story workgroup.
Best Version of Me.
And we're actually going to dotwo of those A really good
friend, barb Case, and mycolleague is going to lead the
second group, so we're superexcited for that.
I just ended one in July Greatgroup of brave women who
(30:36):
explored their stories.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So I'm excited to continue doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
So, and then I'm going to be doing a men's
version of that Yay finally.
A men's just story work groupthat we're going to kind of use
the framework of Adam Young'sbook Make Sense of your Story as
a group for guys, and I'mhoping this is sending this out
(31:05):
to the masses.
I'm really, really hoping thatwe can actually do two versions
of that group, ones that's justa guys group that any guy can
join and just continue to grow.
But I would really love to dolike a pastor's ministry leaders
, missionaries version of that.
(31:26):
Because I think there's somereally strong messages about
what does it mean to be a maleleader, what does it mean to be
leading a flock, you know?
all of those kinds of thingsthat I would love to explore
with other pastors or leaders.
So that's my hope is that I canget several guys who would join
(31:48):
that one.
Actually, I already have a fewthat are really excited about
joining that one, so hopefullywe can launch that.
We're actually launching ayoung men's version of Unwanted
Journey that our other colleague.
Sam is going to be leading agroup of young men through the
(32:08):
Unwanted Journey, so that'sgoing to be exciting to see.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
So, there's a lot going on.
I don't know when, but I hopeto launch a group that really
focuses on women and body, bodyshame, weight culture, diet, all
of the like stuff that if yougrew up in America especially,
you've been inundated with sinceyou were born, because I find
(32:38):
that every woman I work with, weget there and we have to talk
about it.
So I'd really like to do agroup that's focused on that.
I just haven't, that's in thedreaming stages.
How do I structure that?
How do I work that out?
But that's something I hope todo that, even if you've already
done story work, you could stilldo it.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Could still do it.
And that's kind of what I wasthinking for.
My men's group is maybe guyswho've gone through Unwanted
Journey, which does some quite abit of story work in it, might
want to, you know, do that, togo a little deeper and do some
different stories, but I think astory group around the body
(33:18):
image and those kind of thingswould be really powerful.
You keep surprising me oftalking as we-.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That's my goal, guys.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Talking through clients and those kind of things
, of how many women are justdeeply affected by those issues.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I don't think you can be a woman in the United States
and not be, and I don't saythat other cultures don't deal
with it, but I think we have toculturally look at when you're
born here, how you're alreadyinundated with it.
And then your parents' woundsfrom it, grandparents' wounds
from it, and then how, how it'stalked about with you peers.
(34:00):
This is a big one where peersimpact, and so it's just.
It's just something we have totalk about.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
So if you're interested in any of those
groups or you know any of thatsounds interesting, you can find
out more about them on our pagealdrichministriescom slash
groups.
One of the other things that isnew and exciting is Paul and
Laurie Byerly, who are also ourteam members.
(34:29):
They are going to be offering amarriage checkup that we're
doing specifically for healthycouples, couples who are doing
great but want that time to kindof maybe an annual checkup of
just hey, what are our goals?
How are we doing in this area?
(34:50):
What are the things that we cangrow on?
Where are the places that wewant to keep going and so
they've developed a survey thatthey'll be giving and then have
one session with the two of themtogether to just help set like
annual goals, just like youwould do an annual checkup with
(35:10):
your doctor.
So I'm really excited for thatto roll out.
We are just launching that.
You can find more about that onaldrichministriescom slash
resources and sign up to getsome information about that.
We're actually offering that asa pretty steep discount right
now, that you can do the surveyand a session with them for $100
(35:33):
.
So it's something that we hopethat some couples will take
advantage of is just thisopportunity to have a one-off
session and keep growing.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
For sure Sounds like a great opportunity.
Advantage of is just thisopportunity to have a one-off
session and keep growing, so Ithink that would be really neat
yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
So there's a lot going on already.
So, as we're launching into anew season, I really hope that
you guys are also thinking aboutokay, what can we do to grow
together?
How do we continue to worktogether, how do we continue to
grow and how do we just reallycome together as a married
(36:10):
couple and working on stillbecoming one together?
That's always our mission andalways our heart, and we just
really encourage you to use thistime to think about what's next
as you know, it seems like Idon't know, maybe it's just the
season here in the US withschool starting and everything
(36:31):
that I think this is a season ofrenewal, even more than I think
people try to push new years asthat time, and there's
certainly some of that, but Ithink honestly, the September
time is this like okay, let's go, let's figure this stuff out
that I see a lot of that and I'mreally excited for diving into
(36:52):
this new fall season, one of myfavorite seasons.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
The season of death.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
No, she does not like fall trees I don't understand.
We have some of the mostbeautiful foliage that people
drive to to see.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Oh, my word you are getting really salty about this.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
And you are like oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I like the yellow and the red.
I just don't like the brownconglomerate.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
I love the woods.
In the fall it is one of myhappy places.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I have less love for it.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Well, we'll have to work on that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I like spring, when everything gets green and pretty
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Well, it is great to be back and super glad to be
starting a next season of StillBecoming One.
We will be back next week.
Until then, I'm Brad Aldrich.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I'm Kate Aldrich.
Be kind and take care of eachother.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Still Becoming One is a production of Aldrich
Ministries.
For more information about Bradand Kate's coaching ministry
courses and speakingopportunities, you can find us
at aldrichministriescom Forpodcasts, show notes, notes and
links to resources in all of oursocial media.
Be sure to visit us atstillbecomingonecom and don't
(38:10):
forget to like this episodewherever you get your podcasts.
And be sure to follow us tocontinue your journey on Still
Becoming One.
Welcome to the Still Becoming One podcast.
We are Brad and Kate.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
In our more than 20 years of marriage, we've
survived both dark times andexperienced restoration.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Now as a licensed marriage counselor and
relationship coaches.
We help couples to regain hopeand joy.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
We invite you to journey with us, as we are still
becoming one.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Let's start the conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hello everyone, Welcome back to Still Becoming
One.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
We are excited to be back.
I know many of our regularlisteners have recognized that
we took part of the summer offand at least took several weeks
off here.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I think most of the summer.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Didn't we.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, it's been a little bit of a crazy summer and
a lot's been going on.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, maybe they thought we were just doing like
the silent practice for severalweeks.
Yeah, everybody sits in silence.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Everybody sits in silence, just sit in silence.
So we are super excited, nowthat fall is quickly approaching
, to come back and pick up withStill Becoming One and lots of
really exciting topics.
We have some good guestsscheduled and other things.
So I'm really excited as we'removing along here.
(01:27):
We have some good guestsscheduled and other things, so
I'm really excited as we'removing along here, but wanted to
honestly just share a littlebit of some of the interesting,
different challenges and thingsthat we've been going through.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, it's been a summer.
Well, let's be honest, I feellike life in general is a
mixture of holding reallyexciting things in life, really
good things that are happening,and then some of those really
hard things that bring a lot ofgrief, a lot of pain.
I feel like isn't that most oflife, yeah, yeah, but seasons of
more of one or the othersometimes, and I feel like we've
(02:00):
been in a season of holdingboth really.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Really exciting things happened this summer and
some really hard things happenedthis summer.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, I think that's exactly kind of how I've been
feeling and just kind of goingthrough this say, and we'll kind
of start off that I'm excitedfor this next season of our life
that's starting.
I think you know we weren'texactly anticipating it yet, but
(02:34):
I'm excited about it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
What?
Yes, what is this?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
next that we are kind of being plunged, jumping into
emptiness sooner than weanticipated.
Yes, and so all of our kids arelaunching in one way or another
, our oldest, who graduated fromMoody Bible Institute last year
(03:06):
.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
In May actually, yeah , same this year.
Well, yes, December.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
He graduated in December, walked in May and then
he has let us know that he iscurrently fundraising to become
a missionary in the UK Yep andhe is going with an organization
called AT3 and will bestationed near Liverpool and
(03:35):
working with a church out there.
So he is planning to launch inthat direction in December or
January of this coming year.
So he is way launching andwe're super excited for him.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
And he's moved to Chicago and then has not.
He comes home for holidays andstuff, but he's kind of base
camp there.
He loves Chicago.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So he is, yeah, been out and heading further out, and
our next son is in his junioryear in university, also in
Illinois.
Yep, the boys like Illinoisyeah they do, so he is heading
back there very shortly.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Or will be there by the time this comes out.
So and then our next ourdaughter is starting her
freshman year at Easternuniversity.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yep Eastern.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Kate's alma mater.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
That's not why she went there.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Kate won that.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I did not.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Arm wrestle.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But I can't say I'm not excited.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
So that's you know.
I'm recognizing, as we're inthe process, that dropping boy
children off at college and girlchildren off at college is two
very different things.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Well, yeah, some is personality too, some is
personality too, some ispersonality.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Some is amount of stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I mean, you're not wrong, but probably your.
Well, I don't know.
Do you remember when yoursister went?
Yes, Probably.
It's just true in general.
Oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
It was so much stuff.
And then I remember my, like myparents going is that all
you're bringing?
I'm like what else do I need,what else do I own?
I don't have things.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That's true, and that's how the boys were too.
I mean like I remember beinglike.
We need sheets, you need acomfort.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Like they were just like.
Oh yeah, I guess I do need totake that.
I mean, they basically thoughtpacking their clothes was all
they really needed to bring yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
So it's just you know , and like she's out doing
decorations for her room andshe's painting.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
She painted a bunch of old vinyls that we found at
the Goodwill bins and she'spainting flowers on them.
Hilarious it's adorable.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It's just who she is, so she's launching out and
really excited for her.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's going to be a huge transition, but she's such
a smart kid she's going to dojust fine yeah, yeah yeah and
then our youngest has kind of uh, launched into her senior year,
into an alternative school thatreally will focus on her mental
health for this year.
So um which we we hadn'tnecessarily anticipated, but we
(06:45):
all think it's probably a reallygood opportunity for her.
But that involves she lives atthat facility, and so we are all
of a sudden without anyone athome.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yeah, a year, at least a year in anticipation,
and we weren't even sure if itwas going to be a year right
like.
So we were like oh, it's goingto be several years before we
hit empty nest.
And now, actually, as we'rerecording this this week, it
will be like just us yeah, aftersunday, like today's monday
(07:19):
sunday everyone will be back sothose of you listening to this
whenever it out can ask us howit's going.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
We still have dogs, so it's not completely silent in
the home.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah, and honestly I'm really looking forward to it
.
You know, it's been now acouple of weeks that we knew
this was coming and I think it'sgoing to be a really good shift
for us, for our stress level,for our self-care routines for
our, you know, just things thatwe've been trying to be
(07:51):
healthier at for the lastseveral years.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
in that and I think we've been very intentional.
But, as you all know, there aresome aspects of some of our
kiddos' lives that we can'tcontrol, and I mean most of our
kids lives.
That's true as well.
But, like some of the thingsthey bring, yeah and so, um, and
some of the stuff we bring,guys, we're, we are not, you
(08:16):
know, uh, we don't.
It's not that we don't havethat aspect as well.
Um, so, yeah, I I'm excited too, but I think I'm the type of
person that when I know it'scoming, then I get super excited
because I we've had well, we'vehad yeah, we've had this
(08:36):
leaning leading up to it.
The fact that it just kind ofwas dropped in our laps pretty
fast, believe it or not, haskind of sent me into a mental
tailspin of like oh my gosh, Idon't have any problem being
home with you.
It's not that, and I'veexpressed this to both you and
our friends I'm more and moreworried that I will overwhelm
(08:58):
you.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Which I think is hilarious, that you think you're
going to overwhelm me.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, wait a sec, let's do story work here.
Why would I think that?
Because your, your family,never really saw your needs and
so you had to take care ofyourself right, and so one of
the biggest things for me islike I'm too much for people,
but then I'm also super highresponsibility, Correct.
(09:25):
So I'm like you know I've these.
How many years I've had kids to.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
To do, to work with and.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And take, you know, and we've been Take places.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
You know, we always say we've.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's been a huge part of my job.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
As we've gone through life, we got literally done
every combination of male,female working, staying at home
kind of thing, because youworked full-time while I went to
school.
Yes, um, and then there wastimes where we both were working
full-time yes um, there weretimes that, and when we had our
(10:04):
first son, we were both workingfull time.
Then there were times where Iworked full time and you stayed
home full time.
Then there were places you knowwe've done it all.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
We've done it all except you, as a stay at home,
dad.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
True, true.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
That's the only thing we haven't done.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
So this is a season and we've kind of been talking
about for the last.
I don't know.
Seven years or eight years I'vebeen full-time or full-time
plus, depending on how many jobsI have and you've been
part-time.
(10:41):
And now even for the last two,three years you've been
part-time and now, even for thelast two, three years you've
been part-time with AldrichMinistries and doing coaching
part-time, but we've been prettyintentional at trying to keep
you part-time.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
At home.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
So that other part-time was running the kids
around and doing all the thingsthat moms do.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
So how much are you kind of going?
I'm not sure what I'm going tobe doing with that time.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I don't know that that bothers me or worries me.
We had got, I mean, and this isjust a natural stage of life,
we have gotten to the pointwhere mainly what I was doing
with our kiddos sure, sewinginto them when they were home,
having conversations, checkingin with them, that kind of stuff
, but mainly the stuff I wasdoing was being a taxi, right A
lot.
(11:36):
Not that those moments, youdon't have moments in there too,
but I wasn't involved in what Iwas dropping them off to a lot
of times, and so I can't saythat I will necessarily miss
being a mom Uber.
But right, so that I don'tworry about that as much, I do
(11:59):
like I was thinking this morninglike it is our job as parents
to pursue our children.
It's not our children's job topursue us, which is something a
lot of people I think at thisstage get turned around a little
bit Like hey, you never call me, why don't you check in with me
(12:20):
?
It's actually, as parents, it'sour job to check in with them.
So I was reminding myself thismorning well, I'm going to have
a lot of check-ins I need to doright.
So we have four kiddos,different ways to reach out to
all of them, differentpreferences that each one likes
For sure.
We have one kiddo who lovesMarco Polo, one kiddo who
doesn't really like any way ofcontact, like he just doesn't.
(12:44):
It's not, he doesn't reallylike it with anybody else either
.
So like figuring that out.
So yeah, I don't worry so muchabout the free time.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Is that fair?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
No, I think it's very fair.
I think you've said a couple oftimes that you're scared,
you're going to overwhelm me orbug me or something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Well, I like you.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I, like you too.
I really don't mind hanging outwith you.
I think some of what you'rereferring to is as I've gotten
healthier.
One of the things that I'velearned how to do I think, in a
healthy amount is have somealone time, which is not
(13:30):
something I did when we werefirst married, or I should say,
if I did it when we were firstmarried it was with the TV.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah, or you just go off by yourself.
I feel like you did kind of dothat.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Yeah, but I wasn't very good at it and I think I've
gotten healthier with it.
Of like that.
You do see me go.
I'm going to go read a book, orI'm going to go lay in my
hammock, or something that isalone time, but I think it's a
healthy self-care for me.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh, it definitely is, and you've always been good and
we for years, when we weredoing our healing process.
We don't mind being in eachother's space and space doing,
and doing some of that rightdoing our own, like alone time,
even though we're in the samespace.
But I do know and I've workedreally hard on it this last year
(14:25):
because I did struggle with itI do know, like when we're
sitting in each other's spaceand having alone time, if I'm
reading something that's funny,or I'm seeing something, or I
always want to share it with you.
Yeah, and sometimes brad's notup for that all well, I?
Speaker 3 (14:41):
that's where my add comes in, because if I'm like
reading a book and she, everyfive minutes, want to share
something with me I can't.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Five minutes, that sounds horrible.
It was probably even less thanthat sometimes, but anyways I
can't read my book, like it'sjust not possible for me to like
get back in it's.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
you know that kind of stuff, so that that's where
it's like not possible for me tolike get back in it's, you know
that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
So that that's where it's like okay, and see, my
brain does that.
It's probably not good, but itdoes do that.
And so, like, if we're doingwork, I'd love to sit next to
him and then be like hey, so Iheard this the other day and
he's like what, I cannot focusif we're going to.
So I've learned this year tonot come into the office and sit
(15:22):
and do work next to you.
I do it out in the living roomor in the kitchen because I
can't.
I struggle to not chat with you, but I've learned my own way of
like okay, if that's hard forme, then what do I need to do so
that Brad can continue to befocused and I can continue to be
focused?
Okay, so what are you like?
You say you're not worried.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
At all.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
No, I'm really not, because we've anticipated
spending more time together foryears.
Right, and just the kind ofcasual dreaming of oh, get to
you know, do xyz.
Or you know we we can you knowand we enjoy spending time
(16:07):
together.
So I think we've worked on ourrelationship for a long time
that I'm really not worried thethe pitfall that we see couples
go through in this season for along time is that so much of
either both or one person in thecouple's energy has gone to
(16:29):
parenting the kids that themarriage hasn't had a whole lot
of energy.
So then those kids launch yeahand the person is left going.
I don't know what to do.
I don't think we're going torun into that.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I think we both have things we enjoy doing.
I think we both enjoy spendingtime together.
I think we do all of that stuffpretty well because we've been
intentional in growing some ofthat.
So that's where I'm not worriedabout it.
I think probably and this isalways a worry that we do talk
(17:10):
about regularly is it's easy forme to kind of just work more.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Especially, you know, having our own business work.
You know it doesn't have sethours, right Like so it's and we
do work a lot and it's.
So I think it's like oh, okay,I don't have to help with
transporting somebody right now,or like, so it's just almost
makes it easier, and I can kindof already feel this.
It almost makes it easier oflike well, yeah, sure I could
(17:38):
put in a session then.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
or yeah, I can do that right, where I need to be
cautious, of right, not doingthat too much well, we were
talking about this the other day, I think I brought it up is
like we work nine to nine mostdays, with the exception of
friday.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
We end early, but there's space in the middle.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Right, and that is a counselor, coach life many times
.
Unfortunately, people wantmorning and evening appointments
.
So our free time, our time forself-care, our time for well for
me, like doing family things.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Or exercise is often middle of the day.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, Like well, that's self-care.
But, like all that has to bedone in the middle of the day
and I said I am worried, we'rejust going to get up, get going
to work, we both do our ownself-care and then we both fall
into bed at 10 o'clock.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
And not really have that forced interaction and just
keep doing it day after dayafter day.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
So we're talking about, like, what does it look
like to not, and how do we?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
and yeah, I, mean, this is where we need a, you
know, a session of people who'vebeen empty nesters for a while
to talk back to us and say, okay, here's the stuff you're
missing, you know, because Ithink, um, we're thinking about
it.
We've certainly worked with somany couples who've gone through
this either well or not well,um, so I think we're probably
(19:01):
pretty prepared for it, but Iknow there's probably things
that we aren't thinking about.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Well, and I really do think we could talk to empty
nesters, but the reality is weneed someone.
I hate to sound like this, butit is really unique, Because if
we worked nine to five, andwe're talking about five to 10
every night that we have that'sdedicated time Right.
So you and I are even going tohave to like flesh out?
Do we have certain hours in themiddle of the day that we don't
(19:28):
take clients Both of us andthat's tough.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
It is.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Because I work with women a lot of times who aren't
working.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
They are at home Right.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
And so sometimes those hours are, you know.
So it's just like we just havea lot to sort of figure out, but
we also, I also know, like wehave a little bit of time, it's
not like we have to figure itout next week, no exactly, we're
just aware.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So it's, you know, transition, life throws
transitions and sometimes weplan on them, yeah, and
sometimes we plan on them?
Yeah, and sometimes you know wedon't, and this is one that we
really weren't necessarilyplanning on, right now.
Right now.
Right, we've been thinkingabout it for a long time but we
(20:13):
haven't really didn't know itwas going to be happening right
now.
So, yeah, it'll be interesting.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
we'll keep you guys in the loop of like how we're
doing and and what, what thatlooks like and how it's our
conflicts to the podcast, surey'all?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
like that yeah, um you sick people it is true, we
always get feedback when we uhdisagree on something.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
So yeah, but I'm I'm looking forward to being able to
focus a little bit more on uson the weekends, like focus a
little bit more on just bringingourselves to a better space.
Um, the last four or five yearshave been really hard on
everyone in our family.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Um, nobody wanted it to be that way, but.
But just to bring a little bitmore balance and hoping to get a
little bit more bandwidthcapacity in my own life to do
some things that I would like todo.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I think that's a really nice way of saying it.
I can feel that as well.
There've been projects andthings that we've kind of gone
no, we don't really have thecapacity for right now.
That I'm kind of excited for inthat.
So we're both diving into thenext level of Allender training
(21:37):
this fall and we'll have somemore capacity for that.
That's one of those, Um, but wealso, you know, have other
things that we're we're lookingat growing and doing more of.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Well, and it's funny when you just said that, I'm
like are you talking about all,just ministries only?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Okay.
Well, this is one of thosethings that we fall into all the
times that when you dream andkind of go, okay, where do we
want to grow, where do we wantto do, I tend like I tend to
immediately think about career,and I think most men do.
I think most men think aboutwhat they do and how they want
(22:19):
to do more of that or grow moreof that.
And so, yes, that is my firstthoughts of where that goes, and
there's been things that we'vebeen talking about doing in
ministry and in life, in thatform of life, for a long time
that we keep putting off.
So, I do think of that you werethinking more than just that.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I already started a list.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Really.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
On a Google Doc.
It includes painting the boys'room, painting the hallway,
organizing the basement.
It's all the things I'vethought like I've wanted to do
forever.
I wish you could see his faceright now.
I'm not, those were not on myforever.
Oh, she could see his face.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Those were not on my list.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
But they've been on our list.
Well, the hallway was on ourlist, but we moved in.
And our boys like painted theirroom camo colors but when they
were like I want to say likeeight and ten, yeah, and you
know they're just done with itand eventually it needs to be
kind of a more neutral color forjust future and whatever we do
with our space and whatever.
(23:23):
So those are the things thatcame to my mind and absolutely
stuff we've dreamed about doinghere too.
But I think that also speaks ofwhere both of our minds kind of
go.
You know, I think about all thehome things I haven't been able
to achieve that I've wanted toand think, oh, this is kind of
maybe the perfect opportunity.
(23:44):
And I, like you know, hearingyour dreams for our business.
I have some too, but I likehearing your dreams because I
think I think you have very goodinsight.
I think the Lord has gifted youthat way.
So I'm not saying I never havethings and want, because you
(24:05):
know I do.
I've listed different groups Iwant to do and different things.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, and I'm super excited by some of those.
I really want to see some spaceto get some of those to
fruition, because I thinkthere's some really valuable
things that we've talked aboutand just haven't had the time to
do.
I also, you know, I'm alwaysthis one who kind of has this
(24:28):
long-term vision of where I wantto see us grow and do and you
know expanding, you knowcoaching, but also being able to
do like intensives or doin-person groups or those kind
of things.
Um, I would love to have thecapacity to do which we just
really haven't yet.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
So does anybody want to give us a big property?
Yeah, seriously that we coulddo intensives, so and or groups.
Um, I'm just kidding.
No one needs to give us aproperty, but that's like,
that's probably one of ourbiggest dreams is to have a
property.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Where people could come and stay and process in the
downtime.
But then you know, have anintensive space or you know an
intensive weekend with a groupor that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, we could also do weekly groups in our area,
like we have such dreams aboutthat, and our current home has
been such an incredible blessing.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
It's so perfect.
I love our home, but it's notperfect for that.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
But our living room, sometimes with the six of us
we're kind of maxing it out attimes and when their friends
come over, we're absolutelypeople sitting on top of each
other and moving things to siton the floor.
But the Lord has been faithfuland we love our home.
But we do dream of a time and aspace that we could live on a
property, but also be, able toprovide these things to other
(25:54):
people, and if we owned it, thenthere's the ability to.
Of course, we have to charge.
This is our business.
This is how we pay for a home.
This is how we pay our team,who?
Speaker 3 (26:10):
works with us.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
But it would also give us the ability to, you know
, at times be able to offer itto different people whose
financial needs are different.
We work with a lot ofmissionaries.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Our heart is to help people.
That is the goal, yep.
And so, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
No, I think that's great, and so those are some of
the passions I think about, asyou know, as you're talking
about what's next and where weare going, and I think that's
always been my wiring a littlebit.
Of course, I also do thinkpersonally of things, but I yeah
(26:53):
, what do you want to do withthat?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
You want to finish the woodpile.
I was like tell me somethingpersonal.
What do you want to do?
Yeah, I need to finish thewoodpile.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
You were saying that on my list is there's a bunch of
outdoor things that do needtaking care of right now, so
there are some things that Ihave.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Please tell me the holly bush is on your list.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
No, but the other dead tree is Guys, but the holly
bush isn't dead.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Guys, you want to have one of our conflicts right
here.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
This has been it, no you want to have one of our?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
conflicts right here.
This has been it.
No, the holly bush rightoutside of our front door has
been a source of contentionsince we moved in, and now it is
no longer a bush it is a hollytree um that thing like the
stump to that thing is 30 feettall now yep, but when I mow, it
attacks me every time yes guys,I shouldn, guys, I shouldn't
(27:41):
have to live with an attackingholly tree.
So okay, so that's not one ofthem.
Great, no what.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
No, there's just other things that need done.
And, yes, finishing the woodpile that didn't get finished
before it turned super hot, youknow, is on there, but like, so
there's those kind of things.
Super hot, um, you know, is onthere, but like so the there's
those kind of things.
But I think more than that,it's um, I, I, you know, I have
been thinking like, are thereother hobbies that I want to
(28:10):
bring back in my life?
That, um, that I just havepushed off I'm very curious.
Now, you know I it's interesting.
I'm not sure I we still havethe space for this, but um, I
was thinking the other day ofthe figurines I used to paint
when I, when we were yeah, prepre-kids and had space and time
(28:30):
yeah, and I'm like that was alot of fun.
I really enjoyed doing that but, um, I don't know if that will
ever come back, but you know itwas.
I know you enjoyed that a lot,for sure, um so, but I do think,
like I was actually processingthat was in one of my things of
like you know, I probably needsome other healthy hobbies as I
really worked on my healing Ithink a lot that I did was has
(28:54):
become shorter term or short,shorter length, self-care things
like you you know, reading abook or listening to a podcast,
or laying in my hammock ortaking a nap, like any of those
kinds of things that you knowsometimes 20, 25 minutes kind of
thing.
(29:15):
So maybe there's some hobbiesthat I need to get focused on
that are a little bit longer.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I haven't figured that out yet.
Yeah, yeah, that's interesting,cool.
Well, we will keep exploringand sharing if you want to know,
but we have been dreaming upand are implementing quite a few
things yeah.
The end of the summer this fall, at Aldrich Ministries.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, I'm really excited because we are launching
what four groups this fall isthe goal at least, if not more,
we have.
Actually, it is more than thatwe have.
I'm working on launchinganother unwanted journey for men
with unwanted sexual behaviors,so that's going to be coming up
(30:07):
in the fall You're launching.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I am.
I'm launching my story workgroup.
Best Version of Me.
And we're actually going to dotwo of those A really good
friend, barb Case, and mycolleague is going to lead the
second group, so we're superexcited for that.
I just ended one in July Greatgroup of brave women who
(30:36):
explored their stories.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
So I'm excited to continue doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
So, and then I'm going to be doing a men's
version of that Yay finally.
A men's just story work groupthat we're going to kind of use
the framework of Adam Young'sbook Make Sense of your Story as
a group for guys, and I'mhoping this is sending this out
(31:05):
to the masses.
I'm really, really hoping thatwe can actually do two versions
of that group, ones that's justa guys group that any guy can
join and just continue to grow.
But I would really love to dolike a pastor's ministry leaders
, missionaries version of that.
(31:26):
Because I think there's somereally strong messages about
what does it mean to be a maleleader, what does it mean to be
leading a flock, you know?
all of those kinds of thingsthat I would love to explore
with other pastors or leaders.
So that's my hope is that I canget several guys who would join
(31:48):
that one.
Actually, I already have a fewthat are really excited about
joining that one, so hopefullywe can launch that.
We're actually launching ayoung men's version of Unwanted
Journey that our other colleague.
Sam is going to be leading agroup of young men through the
(32:08):
Unwanted Journey, so that'sgoing to be exciting to see.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
So, there's a lot going on.
I don't know when, but I hopeto launch a group that really
focuses on women and body, bodyshame, weight culture, diet, all
of the like stuff that if yougrew up in America especially,
you've been inundated with sinceyou were born, because I find
(32:38):
that every woman I work with, weget there and we have to talk
about it.
So I'd really like to do agroup that's focused on that.
I just haven't, that's in thedreaming stages.
How do I structure that?
How do I work that out?
But that's something I hope todo that, even if you've already
done story work, you could stilldo it.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Could still do it.
And that's kind of what I wasthinking for.
My men's group is maybe guyswho've gone through Unwanted
Journey, which does some quite abit of story work in it, might
want to, you know, do that, togo a little deeper and do some
different stories, but I think astory group around the body
(33:18):
image and those kind of thingswould be really powerful.
You keep surprising me oftalking as we-.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That's my goal, guys.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Talking through clients and those kind of things
, of how many women are justdeeply affected by those issues.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I don't think you can be a woman in the United States
and not be, and I don't saythat other cultures don't deal
with it, but I think we have toculturally look at when you're
born here, how you're alreadyinundated with it.
And then your parents' woundsfrom it, grandparents' wounds
from it, and then how, how it'stalked about with you peers.
(34:00):
This is a big one where peersimpact, and so it's just.
It's just something we have totalk about.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
So if you're interested in any of those
groups or you know any of thatsounds interesting, you can find
out more about them on our pagealdrichministriescom slash
groups.
One of the other things that isnew and exciting is Paul and
Laurie Byerly, who are also ourteam members.
(34:29):
They are going to be offering amarriage checkup that we're
doing specifically for healthycouples, couples who are doing
great but want that time to kindof maybe an annual checkup of
just hey, what are our goals?
How are we doing in this area?
(34:50):
What are the things that we cangrow on?
Where are the places that wewant to keep going and so
they've developed a survey thatthey'll be giving and then have
one session with the two of themtogether to just help set like
annual goals, just like youwould do an annual checkup with
(35:10):
your doctor.
So I'm really excited for thatto roll out.
We are just launching that.
You can find more about that onaldrichministriescom slash
resources and sign up to getsome information about that.
We're actually offering that asa pretty steep discount right
now, that you can do the surveyand a session with them for $100
(35:33):
.
So it's something that we hopethat some couples will take
advantage of is just thisopportunity to have a one-off
session and keep growing.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
For sure Sounds like a great opportunity.
Advantage of is just thisopportunity to have a one-off
session and keep growing, so Ithink that would be really neat
yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
So there's a lot going on already.
So, as we're launching into anew season, I really hope that
you guys are also thinking aboutokay, what can we do to grow
together?
How do we continue to worktogether, how do we continue to
grow and how do we just reallycome together as a married
(36:10):
couple and working on stillbecoming one together?
That's always our mission andalways our heart, and we just
really encourage you to use thistime to think about what's next
as you know, it seems like Idon't know, maybe it's just the
season here in the US withschool starting and everything
(36:31):
that I think this is a season ofrenewal, even more than I think
people try to push new years asthat time, and there's
certainly some of that, but Ithink honestly, the September
time is this like okay, let's go, let's figure this stuff out
that I see a lot of that and I'mreally excited for diving into
(36:52):
this new fall season, one of myfavorite seasons.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
The season of death.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
No, she does not like fall trees I don't understand.
We have some of the mostbeautiful foliage that people
drive to to see.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Oh, my word you are getting really salty about this.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
And you are like oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I like the yellow and the red.
I just don't like the brownconglomerate.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
I love the woods.
In the fall it is one of myhappy places.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I have less love for it.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Well, we'll have to work on that.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I like spring, when everything gets green and pretty
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Well, it is great to be back and super glad to be
starting a next season of StillBecoming One.
We will be back next week.
Until then, I'm Brad Aldrich.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
I'm Kate Aldrich.
Be kind and take care of eachother.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Still Becoming One is a production of Aldrich
Ministries.
For more information about Bradand Kate's coaching ministry
courses and speakingopportunities, you can find us
at aldrichministriescom Forpodcasts, show notes, notes and
links to resources in all of oursocial media.
Be sure to visit us atstillbecomingonecom and don't
(38:10):
forget to like this episodewherever you get your podcasts.
And be sure to follow us tocontinue your journey on Still
Becoming One.
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