November 9, 2023 • 53 mins
When we sat down with Bobby Huntley, a Marine Corps veteran, author, and mentor to over 600 young boys, we were truly inspired. His Gentleman's Club program is a testament to the power of mentorship, and it's a journey he shared with us with great sincerity. We traversed his experiences in the school system, his own personal challenges, and, most importantly, the heartwarming transformations he has witnessed in the lives of young boys who needed guidance.
Tackling the elephant in the room, we laid bare the undeniable truth: our societal structure needs a major overhaul when raising children. We delved into some hard-hitting topics, such as the absence of positive male role models in many homes and the rippling effects of this absence, especially in single-parent households. Bobby's insights were eye-opening, to say the least, and truly underlined the importance of mentorship and apprenticeship in shaping boys into responsible adults.
But that's not all. We also looked critically at the school system, its impacts, and, more importantly, the solutions we need to implement. From the tone set by administrators to the relationship between teachers and students, Bobby's thoughts were enlightening. We also broached the damaging school-to-prison pipeline that has been a blight on the lives of young people of color.
About Bobby Huntley
A Veteran who served 13 1⁄2 years in the United States Marine Corps. Bobby is an Inspirational Speaker and Author of 5 books. Recently retired in October 2021 after 19 years as an Educator with the Virginia Beach City Public Schools in Virginia. Fourteen of the nineteen years, Bobby was the Director of an after-school Character Development Mentoring Program called the Gentlemen’s School for Boys. Receiving many awards and recognition; 3 times awarded Teacher Assistant of The Year, the “I Make A Difference Award” 5 times, and Commonwealth Of Virginia General Assembly House Joint Resolution No. 161. Bobby is the Pastor of Test of Faith Ministries in Virginia Beach, VA. (20 years).
You can find more about Bobby and buy his books at BRayeHuntleyEnterprises.com
Show Credits:
Richard Dodds (Host/Producer): @Doddsism
Show Music: @IAmTheDjBlue
Podcast Website: StillTalkingBlack.com
Still Talking Black is a production of Crowned Culture Media LLC. All rights reserved.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Richard Dodds (00:00):
This is Still Talking Black, a show where we
discuss issues that affectblackness from a black point of
view.
I'm your host, richard Dyes,and today I'm joined by Bobby
Huntley.
Bobby's written five books.
He spent more than a decade inpublic schools and he's a
motivational speaker.
We talk about mentorship.
We talk about the school toprison pipeline.
We take a look at everythingthat he experienced over his
(00:23):
more than a decade in publicschools the things that he saw,
the things that he feels likeneeds to be improved.
He gives a unique perspectiveof how we need to come together
and raise our kids as a villageinstead of a single unit.
We talk about a number ofdifferent things and I really
hope that you enjoy it.
So, without further ado, here'sBobby.
Bobby Huntley (00:42):
Good evening.
My name is Bobby Ray Huntley.
I'm an author of five booksInspirational Speaker, the Past
of Test of Faith Ministries hereat Virginia Beach, virginia.
Here I'm just recently retiredin 2021, after 19 years with a
large school division here inthe state of Virginia, I'm
excited about this podcast.
Richard Dodds (01:04):
That's awesome.
I'm glad you're excited.
That's a good first step,absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (01:10):
It's a start.
Richard Dodds (01:12):
Yeah, See, even with your elevator pitch, you'll
slash your introduction.
You've done so much Likethere's even stuff that we've
talked about that you left outof that.
Of all the things that you'vedone throughout your life so far
, what feels like it's been themost impactful?
Bobby Huntley (01:30):
Working with youth.
That's been so fulfilling my 19years with the school division.
Within those 19 years I had afew positions I started out as a
security assistant, became anin-school suspension coordinator
which is abbreviated ISS andalso dean of students.
(01:50):
And within those 19 years Ialso had a character development
mentoring program called theGentleman's Club for 14 years
and during those 14 years over600 youth, 600 boys, have gone
through the program and eachtime we started a program at
various schools, we also starteda program for the girls as well
, and so several hundred girlshave gone through that program.
(02:14):
So that's been the mostfulfilling and rewarding for me
is working with our youth.
Richard Dodds (02:21):
That's here I remember you telling me you
started that program.
What gave you the inspirationand want to do that.
Bobby Huntley (02:28):
Well, I love to tell the story that initially,
prior to me going into theschool system, I had no desire
to work in the school system.
I just got out of Marine Corpsafter 13 and a half years with
the United States Marine Corpsand had various jobs, and then I
started my writing career andbecoming an inspirational
speaker and I thought my plightwas dealing with men, with grown
(02:52):
men.
But I met a gentleman who's apastor, melvin Woolett, and he
was telling me, after learningabout me and knowing my
qualifications and my skill sets, he said you will do great in
working with the school systemand helping our youth.
And I'm 6'6", 360 pounds, soI'm a big guy and I'm like man.
(03:12):
I don't want to deal with noyouth.
I can't deal with nobody byparing my knees.
I deal with grown men.
And so for years he keptadvocating for me to come into
the school system.
And then one of the things hesaid that really hit home.
He said I understand you wantto work with men, but what
better way to catch them as ayouth, to help develop them and
become a good law abidingcitizen?
(03:33):
So that kind of hit home.
And then he began to tell melook, you can still do your
inspirational speaking, yourwriting.
You know you work five days aweek.
You're off three or fouro'clock in the evening, you off
on the weekends and you get paidin the summer.
Richard Dodds (03:48):
I said say that again.
Bobby Huntley (03:49):
I get paid in the summer.
Yeah, you don't work in thesummer, you get paid in the
summer.
I'm like, well, what do I signup?
So I went to a middle schoolcalled Plaza Middle School and
we got my foot in the door as asecurity assistant.
And right away after theprincipal read my bio and knew
me being an author and dealingwith grown man, and he said well
(04:13):
, you know, I would love for youto work with our youth and
spend as much time as possiblewith them.
And I learned that they had amentoring program there, a
gentleman by the name of PaulArity.
He had the gentleman's club,and then the following year he
decided he was not able tocontinue with the programs.
He asked me to take over theprogram, and I took over that
program the second year me beingat that school, and it pretty
(04:36):
much took it to another level.
And then another position openedup for me at another middle
school called Lanstown MiddleSchool, and when I was hired for
the school suspensioncoordinator position I was asked
by the principal if we hiredyou, will you bring your program
to this school?
Because by that time the programhad really taken off and a lot
of schools were interested inthe program.
(04:57):
And so of course I said yes andI did the program three years
at that school and then I washired to work at an alternative
high school and that was aneye-opening experience for me.
I was working with young menand young ladies and a lot of
them were in gangs and things ofthat nature, so that was a
challenge.
But I was able to step up tothe challenge and meet it head
(05:19):
on and we were able to changethat school around with the
mentoring program, theGentleman's Club, and again it
just kept taking off higher andhigher and so total 14 years.
We did the program and it was avery huge success.
It got a nationwide publicity.
I was asked by school divisionin Alabama to assist them in
(05:42):
starting the program also inMaryland and also Connecticut,
and so work had quickly traveledacross the country and I was
being asked to help facilitateand get other programs started.
We did just that.
So huge success and I'm veryproud and excited about the work
we were able to do.
Richard Dodds (06:02):
Sounds like you was really, really called to
work with the youth and I alwayssay that is the best place to
start, and I said it before likethe children are our future, so
you kind of are catching themearly, when they're most
vulnerable and most malleable.
Bobby Huntley (06:16):
Yeah, I had the opportunity of working with
elementary students, middleschool students and high school
students to include alternativestudents.
These are students who prettymuch had gone through the
disciplinary actions as far asin-school suspension,
out-of-school suspension,referrals, and then they placed
(06:36):
an alternative high school andthen from there they don't
pretty much get through acttogether.
Then they're pretty muchexpelled from the school
division all together.
So I was able to work with theyouth and all different levels
of education and it was veryrewarding.
So no doubt that was my plight,but that was my calling.
That God had me to do is workwith our youth, and it's been
(06:58):
very fulfilling.
Richard Dodds (07:00):
Yeah, I mean even an alternative school like that
.
You talk about dealing withkids like first of all you said
like oh, I'm 6'6, 300.
Bobby Huntley (07:06):
Like that's the perfect person to deal with you
because ain't nobody goingreally like you.
Richard Dodds (07:10):
Too big to try Right, I had a few to challenge
me, you know.
Bobby Huntley (07:14):
And that was interesting.
And then, but I think that moreor less it was my spirit that
moved them.
No doubt my appearance gottheir attention, but I think it
was my spirit, my calmness, mymeekness that gained their trust
and then I was able to do greatthings with them.
Richard Dodds (07:38):
And you like thinking about the alternative
school, that's kind of like, hey, this is your last chance, like
that's really.
When you think about childrenand you think about disciplinary
actions, that's like really thekids that are most at risk.
So to be able to work with thatlike was that more challenging
than working at the otherschools that you got worked at
previously?
Bobby Huntley (07:57):
Absolutely.
I actually had no idea it wasan alternative high school.
It was the assistant principalwho I worked with when we were
at the middle school.
She had since gone over to thealternative high school.
I had no idea where she went,but after a few years she
reached out to me and I was notinterested in switching schools
(08:17):
or going to a high school.
I was fine where I was at.
But she reached out to me, toldme of a position that opened up
and she thought I'd be greatfor the job.
So I went in for an interviewand we went through the process
and I really had no idea what Iwas getting myself into, other
than it was a high school.
And that next day, comingthrough the high school, walking
through the halls, and it waslike profanity being spewed out.
(08:41):
And I'm looking at these youngladies and it was not like they
were trying to catch themselvesor say, oh, I'm sorry my bag, or
anything like that.
They continued on with theirconversation and I would like
excuse me.
They would be like what?
What's the problem?
You're cursey.
And what's the problem?
That's the problem, you'recursey.
And so this was the atmospherethroughout the entire school and
(09:03):
I'm like, no, we can't havethis.
So slowly but surely we wereable to change all of that
around and in my two years thereI'm very excited of the
accomplishments we were able to.
In the two years I was there wehad the highest graduation rate
at the alternative school.
We had our open house.
(09:25):
When we met the parents it wasthe largest they ever had.
We had more students that wascompleting the program and then
going back to the regular highschool to graduate, and some
wanted to just stay there andgraduate.
So it was like something theyhad never seen before, never
experienced before.
So we had gang members whojoined my gentlemen's club and
(09:47):
they dropped their colors, asyou would say, or their flag.
They stopped associatingthemselves with gang activities
and really changed and turnedtheir life around.
One of the young men inparticular when I first met him
he was a sophomore.
He was about 6'4" big kid andhe had just got into a huge
(10:07):
fight.
He had just got jumped by othergang members.
He was bloodied.
The ambulance came and he wasgirded off to the hospital and
when he came back after a week Iconvinced him to join my
program.
He ended up becoming thepresident of the program and
becoming an honor roll studentand finished up, went back to
(10:28):
his high school, graduated fromcollege and doing quite well.
So if I have many successstories, but he's one of the
ones I like to highlight becausehe really was able to turn his
life around being involved withthe gentlemen's club.
Richard Dodds (10:44):
That is an amazing story and it also kind
of highlights the point that oneperson really can make a
difference in other people'slives and you never know what
your contribution is and you'recalling what that's gonna do for
other people.
Think a lot of times when weget called to do something or we
(11:05):
feel like you know some otherpeople say like, oh, I feel like
I drawn to it, or whateverwords you might use.
A lot of times we centerourselves in it and we say how
would this affect me?
But it's like sometimes itain't about how it affects you,
it's how it affects the rest ofthe world, and it sounds like
you've made a big impact.
Bobby Huntley (11:24):
Yes, and the funny part is that, again, I
went into this not reallywanting to deal with students,
but found it to be a passion, acalling, a true calling of mine,
and so I learned a lot from ouryouth.
You know, one of the thingsI've always tried to instill is
respect, and I learned that.
(11:45):
It took me a while, but Ilearned that our youth want to
be respected.
I'm from the old school.
I grew up in the 60s and I comefrom a family where you were
seen and not heard, and whenadults are speaking, you're not
for clothes and you spoke whenyou were.
You're communicating whenyou're spoken to.
So I grew up in that area notso much so with the youth today,
(12:08):
but I learned that they wantrespect and we would just meet
them where they're at and thenbring them to where we want them
to be.
They make life a lot easier oneveryone.
Richard Dodds (12:19):
Yeah, you sound like my dad has told me a lot of
stories like that, so it's likehearing you say that.
I was like, yeah, my dad said itlike the exact same thing and
you know I live in, I'm in ageneration where I'm like I have
to, I'm in between, you know,like two like really different
generations, so I'm likesomewhere in the middle.
So I got to see how things were, like I remember, before it was
(12:40):
internet and computers and cellphones everywhere.
And you know, like I see thenew stuff and I see the old
stuff and I see how, like yourgeneration was raised and how,
like some of the things thathappened to you guys, like out
of black love and out of thedifferent things, like you know,
like our grandparents andgreat-grandparents do the best
they can, right.
But, like the way that youhandle kids now is so different,
(13:03):
like how much of a shock wasthat for you?
Like learning, like what workedfor me and what kept me in line
back when I was a youth, mightnot work on these new kids,
because these new kids ain'tbuilt the same way that we are.
Bobby Huntley (13:17):
That's true, and I take it back to again
respecting them andunderstanding that it is a new
generation and understandingthat they are privileged to a
lot of things that we were notprivileged to.
Me growing up, you know, theonly time I stayed in the house
when it was time to eat or go tobed or the net, you stayed
outside.
You stayed outside, you played.
(13:37):
You didn't even come home whenyou were thirsty, you just went
to the neighbor's house anddrunk from the water holes or
something like that.
You know.
But yeah, this is a differentgeneration and they have their
own plight, their own struggles,their own things that they're
dealing with, and I think wehave to understand that.
You know, we can expect them tobe like we were but at the same
(13:58):
time, encourage them andinstill discipline and teach
them.
And the other huge factor isthat it took a generation and
still takes a generation excuseme, takes a village to raise our
children.
We can't do it alone and Ithink that's what this
generation is missing, becausenot enough of neighbors, not
(14:19):
enough of people in thecommunities, not enough teachers
or churches whatever that's inour communities, not enough are
getting involved.
We're leaving it up to thesingle parent and, sadly enough,
that's what takes place in alot of the homes Single
parenting, whether it be themother, the father in most cases
just the mother or it's themother, the sister and the aunt
and the grandmother, and there'snot a positive male role model
(14:40):
in the household.
The father's not there, and sowe're asking and expecting these
women to raise these boys,teaching how to be a man, and
that's not the case.
One of my books, mothers Please,which is a self-help book for
single mothers I make thatprofound statement on the cover
that a woman cannot teach a boyhow to be a man.
It takes a man to do that.
(15:01):
It's not in the woman's DNA.
And so we still have to worktogether as a community, as a
village, to help raise ourchildren.
We just can't think that it'sup to the single mother or just
up to the household.
It takes all of us, like yousaid earlier.
You know the grandparents werethere, the aunt and uncles was
there, the neighbor down thestreet was there, everybody was
(15:21):
involved in raising our children, and so that's what we really
need to get back to iseverybody's lending the helping
hand and helping this generation.
Richard Dodds (15:30):
Yeah, Even when the fathers are there like you
know what I mean it's still like, I think about it.
Even my dad my dad when I wasgrowing up.
He wasn't always able to bethere because he had to get the
money for us to actually live,so he wasn't always there.
But I'm lucky, luckily enough,I had someone like he was always
he.
whenever he could be there, hewas there, and you know, I have
(15:53):
come from big families, soeverybody else around me like
was there when he couldn't bethere, but like even
understanding that he wanted tobe there, like was one of the
hardest things, because I didn'tunderstand.
You know, my dad loves me.
I didn't know he wassacrificing, like I wanted to be
with him and he had to do whathe had to do and make sure we
had a roof over our heads.
So like even appreciating that.
So like thinking about someonewho doesn't even have that, like
(16:17):
it's so much harder, especiallyif you are by yourself.
So, absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (16:23):
I saw a lot of that, especially there in high
school, when we have these 13,14, 15, 16, 17 year old young
men or boys thinking thatthey're grown and their head.
They think they are because ofthe life that they've had to
live, because they've been toldwell, you're the man of the
house.
Now, you know mama's tellingthem that you're the man of the
house because the father's notthere and or not a positive male
role model, and so they'rebeing told this.
(16:45):
And I remember one young man, Ithink he was about 15 years old
at the alternative high school.
I was again.
I was the dean of students, soI dealt with discipline, and so
I'm talking to him about aparticular situation and he
tells me well, I'm a man, justlike you are man.
And I asked him I said, I'msorry, what did you say?
He said, well, I'm a man, likeyou are a man.
So who told you you were a man?
(17:06):
My mama told me I'm a man.
I said, son, you're not a manyet, that's okay, you're not a
man yet.
So I asked him for his drivinglicense, I asked him for a pay
stub, you know.
I asked him what bills hepaying, you know.
I asked him is he's able tovote?
You know, I asked him a wholelot of things that constitute
being a man with responsibilityand of course he couldn't.
He didn't have a positiveanswer for any of these things
(17:28):
and I said that's okay, you'restill a young man, you're still
a boy and that's okay for you tobe in a boy's place.
One day you'll be a man.
But it takes responsibilitiesto become a man.
You have 30 or 40, 50 year oldgentlemen or boys excuse me, men
that are out there who reallyare not being man because they
lack the responsibility or theintegrity or what it takes to
(17:50):
become a man.
So we can't put thatresponsibility or that much
pressure on these young boys.
It's not fair to them.
Richard Dodds (17:58):
Yeah, that's really tough and I'm thinking of
so.
It seems like when you actuallywent into the school,
everything is a lot of it justcentered around mentorship and
like I know that mentorship whenI think of mentorship too, I
think of another word.
I think of apprenticeship.
You know, back before theindustrial revolution everybody
(18:18):
had an apprentice, like if yourdaddy was a horse maker, he was
going to be a horse maker ahorse shoe maker, and they
taught you how to do it and youdid it for 20 years and then you
took over the business andy'all made horseshoes and that
was it.
And mentorship is a lot likethat I feel like how important
(18:39):
is mentorship?
That's part one, but part twodo you feel like we're missing a
lot of mentorship now, in thecurrent generation?
Absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (18:51):
Mentorship is key , it's essential, it's
definitely needed.
It's what's missing.
Again, keep in mind, sadly, inthe household, the father's not
there for various reasons, soit's the mother that's there,
it's the grandmother, the auntthat's there.
It's a lot of women that's inthe household trying to raise a
(19:14):
boy, you know, trying to raise agirl on their own.
And especially when we'retalking about boys, they need to
have a positive role model intheir life.
They need to have mentors intheir lives that can help guide
them, help nurture them, showthem love, show them their
self-worth.
Teach them, you know, in theprogram, the gentleman's club,
(19:35):
you know, we start from day one.
Teach them how to shake a man'shand, you know.
Teach them how to tie a tie.
Teach them what respect is allabout, how to be kind, to be
courteous.
Teach them how to use theproper utensils when they're
eating, you know.
Teach them how to open the doorfor a young lady, all manner of
(19:58):
things, even when it comes totheir parents.
Teach them how to, you know,prepare their clothes, that a
young man should always take ashower, to take a bath.
Use the odorant.
You know.
Work alone.
Brush your teeth.
You know.
Check yourself in the mirrorwhen you get out, before you go
out the door All these thingsthat they would probably get if
(20:19):
the father was in the house, ora positive male role model.
They would emulate that manthat's in the house.
And these are the things that aman does.
A man takes care of his notonly his home, but he takes care
of himself.
First.
You know proper grooming habits, the things of that nature,
communication skills.
All these things A lot of usare missing with our youth.
(20:41):
That's what's missing with ouryouth because they don't have a
mentor.
So it's programs like this thatis definitely needed in every
school and we have a young manthat comes to the program that
have a father at home.
The father is very fluent therein the house, so doing all the
things he's supposed to be doing, but again, keeping in mind, it
(21:01):
takes a village.
You know, we're not an islandon our own.
We all need to be in ittogether, lending the helping
hand, and so that is the key.
It mentorship is very essentialin every school.
I advocate that to the utmost.
Yes.
Richard Dodds (21:19):
Yeah, and I'm glad you said that like
sometimes, like even having afather or positive role model,
or having your mother, havingboth parents, it's stuff that
kids are facing now that even Ididn't have to face like growing
up, and you know it wasn't thatyou know I'm old enough, but
(21:40):
you know I'm not that old towhere I haven't like I don't
remember what school was.
Now we have a whole generationof kids that go to school and
they could be in a goodneighborhood and they can have
to worry about possibly beingshot and killed in school.
There's so many differentthings, like I remember being
able to come home and not havesocial media, so social media
(22:02):
wasn't a thing.
So, no matter what negativereinforcement I got at school,
when I got home and I had bothof my parents, my parents could
say like we love you, doesn'tmatter what else is going on in
the world, and you know my momand my dad have me and now, like
you, can do that.
But at the same time, thatnegative noise can still get
into your kid 24, seven, andit's going to make more noise
(22:25):
than the parents.
So it's like you, it's like somuch.
I feel like it's even moreimportant to have that
reinforcement and I think two,even two solid parents is hard
for them to carry that out bythemselves.
Bobby Huntley (22:36):
Absolutely.
And again, this is where thenot only the mentoring ship, of
course.
But you have your sports, youhave your other after school
activities that a child can beinvolved in, Anything that would
keep their mind occupied, keepthem from falling astray or keep
them from hanging out with thewrong people.
You know a lot of things thatwe did again with my mentoring
(22:59):
program.
You never believe, wouldprobably never guess, what is
the very first field trip that Iwould take by my guys on every
school year.
Can you give me a guess?
Very first field trip.
Richard Dodds (23:12):
See, I would think it's like scared straight,
like I would take them to likea prison or something like that.
Bobby Huntley (23:17):
Absolutely, absolutely.
We went to jail and we wouldstill started what September by
October we are very first fieldtrip is always to the jail and
to the courthouse.
Now I don't run a scarestraight program these young men
is in the program.
They're not in there becausethey're, you know, doing bad
(23:39):
things, that they're all badstudents with bad Grace.
We have honoros students.
That was in the program, myprogram.
You the only qualification.
You had to be a boy and you hadto attend that particular
school.
That was it.
Your grades wasn't an issue tojoin, but that's something we
took care of while you were partof the program.
But we would go to jail.
We would go to the courtroom,sit there and listen to a lot of
(24:01):
the cases.
They would see the inmates comein with handcuffs or whatever
the case may be.
We hear the trial, we sit downand we observe all of these
things.
And then we would actually goand have lunch in the cafeteria
with the sheriff's deputies.
We were interacting with thesheriff's deputies and then we
would put them in the cell block, closed the door and let them
get an opportunity to see whatit's like being in jail and they
(24:25):
would see what type of food theinmates are eating.
They would see that there's no,no doors to the toilet.
You know People are watchingyou what you're doing.
You know there may be a sheetCovering you to take a shower or
whatever case may be, buteverything is right out there in
the open.
So they got that experience.
And then we would go into aconference room and they would
(24:47):
actually hear an inmate Sharetheir stories on how they landed
in jail.
And I would tell you nine outof ten times, and they would
always say my trouble started inmiddle school when I started
misbehaving.
I started hanging out withtheir own crowd and they would
always say I wish I had aprogram Like what you're going
through the back, this program,I probably wouldn't be here
(25:09):
today.
So that was good to hear themsay that.
And then you know it wasnothing that we asked him to say
.
They were just being honest.
And these inmates would come inwith handcuffs, shapples around
their ankles, and we had oneyoung lady that was an inmate.
She came in and I'm thinking tomyself, well, what is she gonna
tell these guys?
But her story was very scaryabout her life, of drugs and
(25:29):
what she went through.
And so after hearing thesethings, then our, our students
would have to come back and byour next meeting, have me at
least two paragraphs of whatthey learned while being on this
particular field trip.
So that field trip was just toget their attention.
I used that to open up theireyes and let them see.
One of the models that we hadwas that it doesn't matter,
(25:52):
excuse me.
Well, we actually had two.
One is that it doesn't matterwhere in life you come from, but
what does matters, where youallow yourself to end up.
And then the other model was Ifyou're not on the right path,
then the wrong path lies ahead.
So one of them to see what thewrong path looks like, where you
would end up if you're on thewrong path.
Now, as far as the right path isconcerned, we take them to
(26:15):
colleges and universities.
We take them to do fun thingsbasketball games, college
basketball games, football games.
We were blessed one year, withthe help of a donation, we were
blessed one year to charter twobuses.
We went to the White House, toWashington DC.
We actually took a tour of theWhite House.
So that was very awesome.
(26:36):
And of course, we also touredMartin Luther King's Memorial.
So we did a lot of thingswithin the community and raised
money.
We bought these young menshirts and ties and suits and
things of that nature, becausewhen you came to our meetings
you came to school dressed in asuit.
So they learned a lot in theprogram.
We did a lot with our young manin the program.
Richard Dodds (26:58):
Yeah, and I think like even taking them to that
spot.
I think a lot of times we havemusic and Movies that are being
fed to our youth that glamorizea particular lifestyle that 99
times out of a hundred, leads tothe jailhouse and in one way
whether it's a quick stay or along stay or maybe even
(27:22):
something worse so to actuallygive them something like that
was more than a concept.
This is, this is what itactually is flesh and blood,
guys.
This is what it looks likeevery day.
This is what that lifestyleleads you to.
These are people who Actuallylive those lives that that
you've heard about, and this iswhere they ended up and it's it.
I guess that that had to belike one of the best like visual
(27:44):
A's possible, like to likereally put a reality in these
kids.
Bobby Huntley (27:49):
And that's what was awesome about when they
wrote their paragraph, becausethey had nothing to say with
their own eyes and listen forthemselves, you know, from the
court setting, listening to thejudge, listening to them being
sentenced, listening to theyoung men or young ladies trying
to plead their case, asking formercy, whatever the case may be
, and then actually hearing theend make themselves Speak on
(28:13):
their plight being a drug dealeror skipping, school Robbing,
whatever the case may be.
They heard these true storiesand they came back, you know,
and then I would post, we would,I would have them write their,
their paragraphs and I wouldtype it up.
You didn't laminate it and weposted all over the school for
(28:34):
everyone else to see and theywould hear from their own
Classmates what their experiencewas like.
So it was very and I hope mefor everybody.
It affected the whole school ina positive way.
Richard Dodds (28:47):
Yeah, that's.
I mean, it's a lot like evenwhen you were saying you're
taking them.
It's like it's overwhelming forme, like I love that's a lot
like that's you know you.
You never want to end up thereLike absolutely, you definitely
don't want.
We definitely don't want ouryouth there.
It's enough things that arechallenging for black men and
women in this world.
Like you know, it's a lot oflike a lot of times, a world.
Bobby Huntley (29:08):
It seems like it's out to get us and it's just
so important to to not give anyextra Incentive for them to
come and get us, Absolutelythat's, that's one of the
dollars demonstrated to them andshowed them that you know, a
lot of times you hear people saythat and I've said it that it
could be that our skin is oursin.
(29:31):
Just being in the skin thatwe're in, you know, being black,
african-american it opposes athreat to so many people, and
especially being a male, and sowe can't, we can't do anything
to put ourselves in harm's wayor give anybody calls to want to
hurt us or to keep us fromaccomplishing or becoming who we
were meant to be.
(29:52):
So that's that's very vital.
And again, it worked the samewith our young ladies, because
we really had some, somewonderful things.
We would come together and andGo out to dinner.
You know, we talked to themproper dining etiquette, we went
on a cruise with with the youngladies and we taught them how
(30:15):
to do salsa, dance, and so wewould come up with different
things to do to interact theboys and the girls together, to
give them a better outlook onhow to communicate with one
another and how we shouldrespect our young ladies.
Richard Dodds (30:29):
And then you know , I think about, I hear, I hear
the things that you're sayingand the things that you talked
to young men and women and it'slike I'm parents old school, I'm
kind of old school just bydefault, right, okay, a lot of
like you hear.
Like the world, like a lot ofthe world, we'll probably say
that, like some of the thingsthat you're teaching them, like
that is etiquette and it's beenproper etiquette.
Like, like I grew up, that wasetiquette, etiquette.
Some people don't they, theydon't follow that anymore.
(30:52):
Like you don't have to open upa, like I don't need, I don't
need a man to open up a door forme and this and this and that.
What do you say?
Like I know traditions arechanging and I know that kind of
like we talked about before.
It has to be some balance.
Like what do you think aboutthat?
Like some of the shifts thatare starting to happen and
where's the room for, like theold school and the new school?
Bobby Huntley (31:11):
What order.
For the old school to exist, wehave to teach it and I think if
it's not being taught then theydon't know any better.
You take a young lady whoProbably wasn't raised in that
way, that didn't come up to seeher father treat her mother that
way, opening doors.
My wife and I, we justcelebrated 29 years of marriage
(31:35):
this past July.
We went out today and today Iopened the door for her.
You know, and my wife would goto a store she knows not to even
touch the door to go into adepartment store where we go,
because I'm gonna do that.
My sons, who grew up watchinghow I interact with their mother
my youngest is 21 and I thinkmy oldest son is probably 35, 36
(31:59):
they open the door for theirmother.
She can be walking and and shedon't raise her hand to open the
door at all.
So it's just being taught.
And if the young man is with ayoung lady, she said you don't
have to open the door for me.
Well, uh, I, I wouldn't letanyone change who I am.
I'll continue to open the doorbecause that's how I was raised.
(32:19):
That's just who I am.
She either walked through it ordon't walk through it, but I
can't and will not stop beingwho I am.
You know that's being agentleman, and so if we don't
teach our children, then thenthis is where, where we've,
where we come to, you know.
So for someone to say, youdon't have to open the door for
me, I open it myself.
Well, I know I don't have toopen the door, but that's just
(32:41):
who I am.
Uh, you don't have to gothrough it, but I'm gonna
continue to be the gentlemanthat I, that I am, and we'll
leave it at that.
Richard Dodds (32:50):
Gotcha, gotcha.
So 19 years in the schoolsystem, yes, what are some of
your biggest takeaways?
Because I know you, you got tosee like so many different sides
, especially with all thedifferent positions that you had
in the school.
Like, what are some of yourbiggest takeaways from being in
the school system so long?
And maybe like what are somethings that we can do to make
that experience better for forthe kids and I mean, I guess,
(33:12):
and the parents and the teachersas well.
Bobby Huntley (33:15):
Well, I I would say that I think everything
starts with the administrators,with the principal, the
assistant principal, with thecounselors, the teachers, but I
think everything trickles,trickles down and as so in life,
even on a job, you know, withthe supervisor, the manager or
whatever the case may be, Ithink the, the administrators,
(33:38):
are the ones that really set thetone For how well that school
is going to operate.
I've I've had the privilege ofbeing working with some
wonderful principles and I'vehad opportunities to work with
Not so wonderful principles andand it pretty much dictated how
the school was being ran To,where the morale was down as far
(33:59):
as the teachers is concerned,because the relationship wasn't
strong.
And if the teachers morale isdown, you can, you can certainly
understand why there's a, adistance between the teachers
and the students, because theteachers not being treated
fairly or with much respect, andit shrinkles down.
And so I've been in schools towhere that was the case.
(34:20):
I've been in school with theprincipals were just great
people.
They respect their, theteachers, they respect the
parents.
That when the parents came inand then you know so the morale
was great in the school.
The students worked well, youknow, they knew that they were
loved, the grades were, werethere, you know, the tests were
(34:41):
there, and so everything was inthe positive manner.
So it can go both ways, and Ithink that we need to be fair
and honest with everyone,especially with principals, and
if you have principals orteachers they're not Doing the
job, then we somehow need toneed to replace them and get
teachers who still care aboutTeaching and educating our
(35:06):
children.
So it certainly starts with theteachers, it starts with the
administrator, as well as thesuperintendents and school
boards.
I've had the privilege of beingon some of the school boards
and going there and speakingwith the school board members,
you know, because that's who dothe hiring.
As far as superintendents areconcerned, you know, and so you
(35:27):
know they too are the village,and I think that if we would
treat everyone with respect,with courtesy, and and the
principals would listen to theirteachers, give them the time
they need to prepare theirlesson plans and and not to be a
taskmaster, not to rule overthem with the whip, you know,
(35:48):
but give them the the reign thatthey need, the freedom that
they need to properly Teach ourstudents.
I've seen some wonderfulteachers who have a Unique way
of teaching.
The job got done, but becausethey didn't follow that
particular curriculum or theywouldn't on that particular task
at that particular minute,there was an issue, and when you
(36:10):
affect them around the otherteachers, you affect them around
with the students, and then youhave some principals, sadly
enough, just didn't care, it wasjust in it for a paycheck.
And so there's still a lot ofwork to be done with an
excrucius and I based it againon my 90s and me being at
various schools, to the pointthat my last book that I that I
(36:31):
wrote came out last year's titlethe shaping of our future
generation putting a plug in aschool to prison pipeline.
I do believe that there is sucha thing as school to prison
pipeline, which means that a lotof things that's happened to
our youth, to our children,especially African-American and
Brown children, where therebeing a lot of referrals, are
(36:54):
being written on them, a lot ofdiscipline is being put on them.
That's unwarranted, uncalledfor, and you're stacking all
these negative reports on themand they ultimately are getting
in school suspension, out ofschool suspension, being put,
placed in an alternative highschool kids are being left
behind, and then they get to apoint where they're so far
(37:16):
behind.
Then they decide to just dropout of school, and when they
drop out of school, there's no,there's no guidance.
There's a lot of time on theirhands, so they're roaming the
streets, they're out doingthings they shouldn't be doing,
with their car, jacking, goingto the store, stealing or
whatever the case may be andthey end up going to court and
going to jail.
(37:37):
Hence school, the prisonpipeline.
You know we're building morejails than our private jails,
than schools, and when you buildthese private jails they have
to be housed.
You know money have to begenerated and the money is
generated by putting people injail, and so that's a serious
problem.
So my book illustrates a lot ofthe issues, a lot of the
(37:59):
problems again the shaping ofour future generation, putting
the school, putting that plug inthe school, the prison pipeline
, excuse me, yes, yeah, I'm gladyou brought that up because
that was something I was goingto ask you about because we
talked about it before.
Richard Dodds (38:14):
But I didn't really even understand the
school, the prison pipeline andI didn't really I didn't really
get it.
I think when I really the firsttime I really really got it and
on the first episode I kind ofI kind of talked about not the
school, the prison pipeline, butgoing from growing up in
Detroit, going to school inDetroit and then being a visitor
(38:36):
in a suburban school, seeinghow different the classrooms and
everything is laid out and me,like when I graduated from high
school I went to university.
So university for me was likeculture shock, because
everything is open.
It's why this is different.
But then being able to go tosome of the suburban schools and
(38:58):
seeing like those suburbanschools looked a lot more like
college you know what I mean andthen also never have been,
never have gone to prison, likeseeing pictures and seeing the
rooms and the way they set upand it's like, wow, that looks a
lot more like the schools Iwent to than the colleges that I
(39:19):
attended and I didn't reallyunderstand it and it's something
.
It's a term that you hear a lot,but I don't think it's a term
that everybody reallyunderstands.
That what's going on?
Bobby Huntley (39:30):
Certainly, it's interesting.
Just the other day I think itwas yesterday while on social
media something came up and itshowed the prison bus and
underneath the prison bus was aschool bus and they're the same,
just different colors.
They showed a prison cafeteria.
Then they showed a school'scafeteria and they set up the
(39:54):
same way.
They showed a prison hallwayand they showed a school hallway
and it's pretty much the same.
So all that's still the samethe building, the architect, the
way it's set up, it looks thesame.
It's just have, you know, onthe prisons it's just have
barbed wires, you know, but thebuilding pretty much looked the
(40:15):
same and the cafeteria certainlylooked the same.
Because I'm a witness myself,you know it looks the same.
So that is a real thing schoolto prison pipeline and what
we're talking about.
You can have two students, onewhite seventh grade student, one
black seventh grade student.
Both have the same offense,same issue, same problems.
(40:40):
Well, that white student mayjust get a verbal reprimand and
send back the class, but thatblack student gets a referral
and gets sent back to class.
Well, what's the difference?
Well, now there's a paper trailon the black student.
There's a paper trail.
The principal just writes it upand put it in her desk.
If you get in trouble again,we're going to, you know,
(41:02):
proceed with the following andthat's what happens.
So you have kids that get intotrouble and really small
infractions, but they put areferral on them.
If you get four, five, six,your seventh referral, then you
get to go to ISS, and so it'sjust building a case against you
to where that white student,perhaps, you know, was just
(41:23):
being told.
You know, don't do it again.
And then the second time, don'tdo it again, the third time,
but by that time the blackstudents are already accumulated
three or four referrals andaccording to the guideline based
on the number of referrals,that dictates to the direction
you're going, and you end up atan alternative school and,
depending on what thealternative school is and how
(41:43):
it's being ran and managed, thenyou find yourself behind and
again you end up dropping out ofschool because you're 16, 17
years old now and you're now two, two grade classes.
You know two, yeah, you'refriends, you're juniors and
you're still a freshman, orthey're seniors and you're just
a sophomore.
And so you decide man, I'm notstaying here, I'm embarrassed,
(42:04):
so I quit, I drop out, and then.
So it's designed for you.
You know, once you do that,then you pretty much look in a
jail or prison and that's sadly.
But yeah, get my book.
I share a lot of stories,personal stories, not from what
I'm told but what I'veexperienced myself as it
pertains to that.
Richard Dodds (42:25):
I have a theory that I kind of talk about a lot
and it's one of the reasons whyI wanted to do a black media
company and that's why I'm doingwhat.
That's one of the reasons whyI'm doing what I'm doing now and
I think that, like perception Ifeel like perception is such a
big, a big big thing on how,like us, as people of color, are
(42:45):
treated in the world in a lotof different ways, and I think
it has a lot to do with the waythat we behave and a lot of ways
.
A lot of ways it has to do withthe way that people look at us
and I think that people perceiveus as something other.
And I think about the exampleyou gave.
You know, and in certainsituations some people might say
like, oh, this is going to be agood kid.
(43:07):
But if you think that all blackkids are troublemakers and
you're like he's going to be atroublemaker either way, it goes
, and it doesn't even matter ifyou're black, because we getting
hit with the same stuff thateverybody else is getting hit
with, and it's like, oh, thiskid's going to be a troublemaker
.
So if you're going from thatthought and that perception in
your head that he's alreadygoing to be a troublemaker or
she's already going to be atroublemaker, then you're going
to give them a lot less leniencythan you would somebody else.
(43:30):
And if your perception ofyourself is that I'm already
going down this road it'snothing I can do to change that,
that's just my future then theway that you're going to respond
to that happening is going tobe completely different than if
I say the world is mine, I cando anything that I want.
I can't rise up, and I thinkperception the way we perceive
(43:54):
ourselves and the way that theworld perceives us is such a big
thing, and that's like one ofthe things that I think even
mentorship all the things thatyou talk about really deals with
perception like.
What are your thoughts on thattheory?
Bobby Huntley (44:07):
Well, thank you.
You reminded me of somethingand I hope that what I'm about
to say answers that question.
A friend of mine, who's retiredschool teacher he substituted,
and so he shared with me that hesubstituted at an elementary
school and when he got there andgot the assignment the class
(44:29):
that he was going to besubstituting one of the teachers
asked him do you know whereyou're going?
He showed her yes, I'm going tothis location.
She said oh, wow, good luck,you're going to some really
troubled kids.
Now this is elementary, soyou're going to a class full of
troubled kids.
So he gets to the classroom andthen it's predominantly all
(44:53):
black students, elementary.
Now he gets into the classroomand the kids are misbehaving and
they say so, you're oursubstitute teacher.
We don't know how long you'regoing to be here.
Our lives are up to teach, youronly life to the day.
And we're bad.
We're the worst class that thisis the children saying who they
are to the substitute teacher.
(45:13):
We're bad.
We're the bad students in theschool you're not going to last
in here.
And when he shared that with me, tears came to my eyes.
These students have been toldthis.
They've been said, they've beentold that you're bad, that's
who you are.
So they've come to realize thatand to accept that and speak
(45:35):
that.
They're speaking that overtheir lives, that they're bad
and so they're behaving that waybecause that's what's expected
of them.
So teachers and whoever elseare telling our children that
you're bad, that you're notgoing to amount to anything,
that that's just who you are,and so they receive that and
they're speaking that and nottake that hurts me to my core.
(45:55):
That hurts me to my core and so, yeah.
So that's why we teach them inthe gentleman's club to to
consider themselves even morebetter than anyone else.
Think of them, to think highlyof yourself, to look yourself in
the mirror, because I speakfrom my experience.
When I talk to my young man, Ishare them my life story.
(46:18):
I remember that I'm growing up12, 13 years old.
I wasn't that attractive at all.
I was a little heavy set, I hadbad skin complexion and I had a
large head, and sometimes I hada girlfriend.
There was another time I didn'thave a girlfriend, so being an
adolescent wasn't that too greatfor me.
(46:38):
And so I remember looking inthe mirror and asking God why'd
you make me so ugly?
Why'd you make me not remembercrying in the mirror who are?
My brother, who's just 10months older than I, am
beautiful complexion, you know.
The girls loved him.
He never had a problem withdating, you know, and so, but
looking at my life, myappearance, I was pretty much
(47:00):
down on myself, but I drew intowho I am.
I didn't know that I wouldbecome 6'6" and my brother would
only be 5'10", so I drew to be6'6".
I had a big head for a reasonbecause I had to support this
big body that I was going to beable to have Now.
I didn't always have the weightthat I had on me.
I used to be slim and trim, youknow, and you know GQ, ready to
(47:24):
go.
And so I would share thesestories with my young man that
it's not about how you look now,because you know your life is
going to be so much better.
Trust me, you're going to dogreat.
Just get this education, learnthis, get this knowledge, get as
much knowledge as you possiblycan, because it's going to
prepare you for the rest of yourlife.
And so I share with them thatbe comfortable with who you are.
(47:49):
You know, because we have kidsthat are committing suicide now
for being bullied by theirparents and things of this
nature.
So I show my young man you know, you're fine, you look good.
Now let's get you a nice suit.
Let's teach you how to tie atie.
Let's teach you how to takecare of yourself.
Let's teach you how to wearsome nice smell in the cologne.
Let's teach you how to properlyspeak.
(48:10):
You know, allow me to instillthese things in you, and then
you're going to be great.
I see my young man now who are21, 22, 23 years old, with
family, with their children, andwhen they see me they get so
excited.
Mr Hunter, remember me, I wasin middle school, I was in your
program, and they turn out to besome fine young men that are
(48:32):
taking care of their family.
You know their wives are happybecause they went through the
program and I hear a lot ofsuccess stories.
But it's all about what wespeak to our children.
It's all about what we say tothem and, if you don't mind, I
want to share when I talk aboutrespect.
You know, respect R-E-S-P-E-C-Tnot the re-reference version,
(48:56):
but this is the acronym that Icame up with.
As far as respect, that R isrecognizing, assessing and
understanding today's youth.
We have to understand who we'redealing with.
Whether our children are goingthrough E is encouraging them to
succeed in life despite theircircumstances.
S.
Seeing through their eyes whatthe world has to offer them.
(49:20):
P.
Plan to lift them up, nevertearing them down with words or
deeds.
E.
Equipping them with the toolsneeded to succeed in life.
C.
Challenging them to lovethemselves by respecting
themselves.
T.
Trusting that the seed youdeposit into them will bring
(49:43):
forth its fruit and its season,Thus respect.
Richard Dodds (49:49):
And I think that's very well said.
You said a lot of like, greatthings and that whole thing you
did definitely answered myquestion and like even hearing
that about the elementary schoolis very sad because you know at
that age, whatever you tellthem, they're going to live up
to it.
You know they're going topursue it, they're going to
repeat it, they're going toregurgitate it, they're going to
(50:10):
, they're going to at elementaryschool age, you're going to
internalize it.
And the crazy thing is is that,depending on someone's
perspective on that kid, thosekids could have just been being
kids.
It could have just been they'redoing the same thing that any
other colored kids would do.
But sometimes people will lookat all of the black kids.
They're doing something that'sdifferent.
(50:32):
When they do it, it's moreviolent, it's more bad, it's
more rough, and then you tellthem they're bad and then they
try to live up to being bad.
It's just, yeah, that's tough.
I can understand why you wantto shed a tear on that.
Bobby Huntley (50:44):
Now, at this stage, right now, being retired,
I have, along with three orfour other friends of mine who
have retired, we've formulatedthis organization that we call
757, which is our area code themovement.
It still takes a village inwhat we do and when we hear of
(51:05):
cases of our children in schoolthat are going through
disciplinary actions and and arebeing faced with out of school
suspension or either going tothe renaissance alternative high
school or going before theboard to be exposed or expelled
from school, the parents reachout to us and we come together
(51:27):
and we look at the case.
We take a look at what are thewhat we call charges and what
have you that infractions that'son this child, and we come
collectively together and go tothe school board hearings, go to
what we call the office ofstudent leadership that decides
what to do with them, and thenwe speak on the children's
behalf.
And what I find interesting,what you just said they forget
(51:50):
that we're talking about kids,that kids do what kids do.
So the young man was runningdown the hallway.
You really tell me that yourwhole time in school you never
ran down the hall.
I know I did so, so they're notgoing to teach you through and
ran.
You never done it.
I know I did.
You know, if I was penalizingand, and, and, and, and and it
(52:10):
says nail to the cross then Iprobably wouldn't be the man
that I am today.
You know, a college graduate,you know, with two degrees and
author of five books andinspirational speaker who's
traveled the country you know,and a pastor of 20 years, mentor
and advocate.
I probably wouldn't be the manI am if I got nailed to the
(52:31):
cross or everything that I did.
So we have to understand thatand come together and speak up
on the behalf of our childrenand not let that single mother
walk into these meetings, theseschool board hearings, along
with with no representation.
Richard Dodds (52:47):
So it sounds like even in retirement you still
got a lot more work to do.
Bobby Huntley (52:53):
I'm going to work until God calls me home.
Richard Dodds (52:56):
That's awesome.
Well, look, I want to thank youfor coming on the show.
I really appreciate everythingthat you shared with us today.
Bobby Huntley (53:03):
Thank you, it's been a pleasure.
Richard Dodds (53:06):
So again, I'd like to thank Bobby for coming
on the show.
If you'd like to learn moreabout him or the things that he
does, maybe look at his books.
You can find that informationin the show notes.
Still Talking Black is a CrownCulture Media LLC production.
You can find out more aboutStill Talking Black at
StillTalkingBlackcom.
If you enjoyed this episode,please like, subscribe and share
(53:27):
with a friend.
But until next time, keeptalking.
This is Still Talking Black, a show where we
discuss issues that affectblackness from a black point of
view.
I'm your host, richard Dyes,and today I'm joined by Bobby
Huntley.
Bobby's written five books.
He spent more than a decade inpublic schools and he's a
motivational speaker.
We talk about mentorship.
We talk about the school toprison pipeline.
We take a look at everythingthat he experienced over his
(00:23):
more than a decade in publicschools the things that he saw,
the things that he feels likeneeds to be improved.
He gives a unique perspectiveof how we need to come together
and raise our kids as a villageinstead of a single unit.
We talk about a number ofdifferent things and I really
hope that you enjoy it.
So, without further ado, here'sBobby.
Bobby Huntley (00:42):
Good evening.
My name is Bobby Ray Huntley.
I'm an author of five booksInspirational Speaker, the Past
of Test of Faith Ministries hereat Virginia Beach, virginia.
Here I'm just recently retiredin 2021, after 19 years with a
large school division here inthe state of Virginia, I'm
excited about this podcast.
Richard Dodds (01:04):
That's awesome.
I'm glad you're excited.
That's a good first step,absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (01:10):
It's a start.
Richard Dodds (01:12):
Yeah, See, even with your elevator pitch, you'll
slash your introduction.
You've done so much Likethere's even stuff that we've
talked about that you left outof that.
Of all the things that you'vedone throughout your life so far
, what feels like it's been themost impactful?
Bobby Huntley (01:30):
Working with youth.
That's been so fulfilling my 19years with the school division.
Within those 19 years I had afew positions I started out as a
security assistant, became anin-school suspension coordinator
which is abbreviated ISS andalso dean of students.
(01:50):
And within those 19 years Ialso had a character development
mentoring program called theGentleman's Club for 14 years
and during those 14 years over600 youth, 600 boys, have gone
through the program and eachtime we started a program at
various schools, we also starteda program for the girls as well
, and so several hundred girlshave gone through that program.
(02:14):
So that's been the mostfulfilling and rewarding for me
is working with our youth.
Richard Dodds (02:21):
That's here I remember you telling me you
started that program.
What gave you the inspirationand want to do that.
Bobby Huntley (02:28):
Well, I love to tell the story that initially,
prior to me going into theschool system, I had no desire
to work in the school system.
I just got out of Marine Corpsafter 13 and a half years with
the United States Marine Corpsand had various jobs, and then I
started my writing career andbecoming an inspirational
speaker and I thought my plightwas dealing with men, with grown
(02:52):
men.
But I met a gentleman who's apastor, melvin Woolett, and he
was telling me, after learningabout me and knowing my
qualifications and my skill sets, he said you will do great in
working with the school systemand helping our youth.
And I'm 6'6", 360 pounds, soI'm a big guy and I'm like man.
(03:12):
I don't want to deal with noyouth.
I can't deal with nobody byparing my knees.
I deal with grown men.
And so for years he keptadvocating for me to come into
the school system.
And then one of the things hesaid that really hit home.
He said I understand you wantto work with men, but what
better way to catch them as ayouth, to help develop them and
become a good law abidingcitizen?
(03:33):
So that kind of hit home.
And then he began to tell melook, you can still do your
inspirational speaking, yourwriting.
You know you work five days aweek.
You're off three or fouro'clock in the evening, you off
on the weekends and you get paidin the summer.
Richard Dodds (03:48):
I said say that again.
Bobby Huntley (03:49):
I get paid in the summer.
Yeah, you don't work in thesummer, you get paid in the
summer.
I'm like, well, what do I signup?
So I went to a middle schoolcalled Plaza Middle School and
we got my foot in the door as asecurity assistant.
And right away after theprincipal read my bio and knew
me being an author and dealingwith grown man, and he said well
(04:13):
, you know, I would love for youto work with our youth and
spend as much time as possiblewith them.
And I learned that they had amentoring program there, a
gentleman by the name of PaulArity.
He had the gentleman's club,and then the following year he
decided he was not able tocontinue with the programs.
He asked me to take over theprogram, and I took over that
program the second year me beingat that school, and it pretty
(04:36):
much took it to another level.
And then another position openedup for me at another middle
school called Lanstown MiddleSchool, and when I was hired for
the school suspensioncoordinator position I was asked
by the principal if we hiredyou, will you bring your program
to this school?
Because by that time the programhad really taken off and a lot
of schools were interested inthe program.
(04:57):
And so of course I said yes andI did the program three years
at that school and then I washired to work at an alternative
high school and that was aneye-opening experience for me.
I was working with young menand young ladies and a lot of
them were in gangs and things ofthat nature, so that was a
challenge.
But I was able to step up tothe challenge and meet it head
(05:19):
on and we were able to changethat school around with the
mentoring program, theGentleman's Club, and again it
just kept taking off higher andhigher and so total 14 years.
We did the program and it was avery huge success.
It got a nationwide publicity.
I was asked by school divisionin Alabama to assist them in
(05:42):
starting the program also inMaryland and also Connecticut,
and so work had quickly traveledacross the country and I was
being asked to help facilitateand get other programs started.
We did just that.
So huge success and I'm veryproud and excited about the work
we were able to do.
Richard Dodds (06:02):
Sounds like you was really, really called to
work with the youth and I alwayssay that is the best place to
start, and I said it before likethe children are our future, so
you kind of are catching themearly, when they're most
vulnerable and most malleable.
Bobby Huntley (06:16):
Yeah, I had the opportunity of working with
elementary students, middleschool students and high school
students to include alternativestudents.
These are students who prettymuch had gone through the
disciplinary actions as far asin-school suspension,
out-of-school suspension,referrals, and then they placed
(06:36):
an alternative high school andthen from there they don't
pretty much get through acttogether.
Then they're pretty muchexpelled from the school
division all together.
So I was able to work with theyouth and all different levels
of education and it was veryrewarding.
So no doubt that was my plight,but that was my calling.
That God had me to do is workwith our youth, and it's been
(06:58):
very fulfilling.
Richard Dodds (07:00):
Yeah, I mean even an alternative school like that
.
You talk about dealing withkids like first of all you said
like oh, I'm 6'6, 300.
Bobby Huntley (07:06):
Like that's the perfect person to deal with you
because ain't nobody goingreally like you.
Richard Dodds (07:10):
Too big to try Right, I had a few to challenge
me, you know.
Bobby Huntley (07:14):
And that was interesting.
And then, but I think that moreor less it was my spirit that
moved them.
No doubt my appearance gottheir attention, but I think it
was my spirit, my calmness, mymeekness that gained their trust
and then I was able to do greatthings with them.
Richard Dodds (07:38):
And you like thinking about the alternative
school, that's kind of like, hey, this is your last chance, like
that's really.
When you think about childrenand you think about disciplinary
actions, that's like really thekids that are most at risk.
So to be able to work with thatlike was that more challenging
than working at the otherschools that you got worked at
previously?
Bobby Huntley (07:57):
Absolutely.
I actually had no idea it wasan alternative high school.
It was the assistant principalwho I worked with when we were
at the middle school.
She had since gone over to thealternative high school.
I had no idea where she went,but after a few years she
reached out to me and I was notinterested in switching schools
(08:17):
or going to a high school.
I was fine where I was at.
But she reached out to me, toldme of a position that opened up
and she thought I'd be greatfor the job.
So I went in for an interviewand we went through the process
and I really had no idea what Iwas getting myself into, other
than it was a high school.
And that next day, comingthrough the high school, walking
through the halls, and it waslike profanity being spewed out.
(08:41):
And I'm looking at these youngladies and it was not like they
were trying to catch themselvesor say, oh, I'm sorry my bag, or
anything like that.
They continued on with theirconversation and I would like
excuse me.
They would be like what?
What's the problem?
You're cursey.
And what's the problem?
That's the problem, you'recursey.
And so this was the atmospherethroughout the entire school and
(09:03):
I'm like, no, we can't havethis.
So slowly but surely we wereable to change all of that
around and in my two years thereI'm very excited of the
accomplishments we were able to.
In the two years I was there wehad the highest graduation rate
at the alternative school.
We had our open house.
(09:25):
When we met the parents it wasthe largest they ever had.
We had more students that wascompleting the program and then
going back to the regular highschool to graduate, and some
wanted to just stay there andgraduate.
So it was like something theyhad never seen before, never
experienced before.
So we had gang members whojoined my gentlemen's club and
(09:47):
they dropped their colors, asyou would say, or their flag.
They stopped associatingthemselves with gang activities
and really changed and turnedtheir life around.
One of the young men inparticular when I first met him
he was a sophomore.
He was about 6'4" big kid andhe had just got into a huge
(10:07):
fight.
He had just got jumped by othergang members.
He was bloodied.
The ambulance came and he wasgirded off to the hospital and
when he came back after a week Iconvinced him to join my
program.
He ended up becoming thepresident of the program and
becoming an honor roll studentand finished up, went back to
(10:28):
his high school, graduated fromcollege and doing quite well.
So if I have many successstories, but he's one of the
ones I like to highlight becausehe really was able to turn his
life around being involved withthe gentlemen's club.
Richard Dodds (10:44):
That is an amazing story and it also kind
of highlights the point that oneperson really can make a
difference in other people'slives and you never know what
your contribution is and you'recalling what that's gonna do for
other people.
Think a lot of times when weget called to do something or we
(11:05):
feel like you know some otherpeople say like, oh, I feel like
I drawn to it, or whateverwords you might use.
A lot of times we centerourselves in it and we say how
would this affect me?
But it's like sometimes itain't about how it affects you,
it's how it affects the rest ofthe world, and it sounds like
you've made a big impact.
Bobby Huntley (11:24):
Yes, and the funny part is that, again, I
went into this not reallywanting to deal with students,
but found it to be a passion, acalling, a true calling of mine,
and so I learned a lot from ouryouth.
You know, one of the thingsI've always tried to instill is
respect, and I learned that.
(11:45):
It took me a while, but Ilearned that our youth want to
be respected.
I'm from the old school.
I grew up in the 60s and I comefrom a family where you were
seen and not heard, and whenadults are speaking, you're not
for clothes and you spoke whenyou were.
You're communicating whenyou're spoken to.
So I grew up in that area notso much so with the youth today,
(12:08):
but I learned that they wantrespect and we would just meet
them where they're at and thenbring them to where we want them
to be.
They make life a lot easier oneveryone.
Richard Dodds (12:19):
Yeah, you sound like my dad has told me a lot of
stories like that, so it's likehearing you say that.
I was like, yeah, my dad said itlike the exact same thing and
you know I live in, I'm in ageneration where I'm like I have
to, I'm in between, you know,like two like really different
generations, so I'm likesomewhere in the middle.
So I got to see how things were, like I remember, before it was
(12:40):
internet and computers and cellphones everywhere.
And you know, like I see thenew stuff and I see the old
stuff and I see how, like yourgeneration was raised and how,
like some of the things thathappened to you guys, like out
of black love and out of thedifferent things, like you know,
like our grandparents andgreat-grandparents do the best
they can, right.
But, like the way that youhandle kids now is so different,
(13:03):
like how much of a shock wasthat for you?
Like learning, like what workedfor me and what kept me in line
back when I was a youth, mightnot work on these new kids,
because these new kids ain'tbuilt the same way that we are.
Bobby Huntley (13:17):
That's true, and I take it back to again
respecting them andunderstanding that it is a new
generation and understandingthat they are privileged to a
lot of things that we were notprivileged to.
Me growing up, you know, theonly time I stayed in the house
when it was time to eat or go tobed or the net, you stayed
outside.
You stayed outside, you played.
(13:37):
You didn't even come home whenyou were thirsty, you just went
to the neighbor's house anddrunk from the water holes or
something like that.
You know.
But yeah, this is a differentgeneration and they have their
own plight, their own struggles,their own things that they're
dealing with, and I think wehave to understand that.
You know, we can expect them tobe like we were but at the same
(13:58):
time, encourage them andinstill discipline and teach
them.
And the other huge factor isthat it took a generation and
still takes a generation excuseme, takes a village to raise our
children.
We can't do it alone and Ithink that's what this
generation is missing, becausenot enough of neighbors, not
(14:19):
enough of people in thecommunities, not enough teachers
or churches whatever that's inour communities, not enough are
getting involved.
We're leaving it up to thesingle parent and, sadly enough,
that's what takes place in alot of the homes Single
parenting, whether it be themother, the father in most cases
just the mother or it's themother, the sister and the aunt
and the grandmother, and there'snot a positive male role model
(14:40):
in the household.
The father's not there, and sowe're asking and expecting these
women to raise these boys,teaching how to be a man, and
that's not the case.
One of my books, mothers Please,which is a self-help book for
single mothers I make thatprofound statement on the cover
that a woman cannot teach a boyhow to be a man.
It takes a man to do that.
(15:01):
It's not in the woman's DNA.
And so we still have to worktogether as a community, as a
village, to help raise ourchildren.
We just can't think that it'sup to the single mother or just
up to the household.
It takes all of us, like yousaid earlier.
You know the grandparents werethere, the aunt and uncles was
there, the neighbor down thestreet was there, everybody was
(15:21):
involved in raising our children, and so that's what we really
need to get back to iseverybody's lending the helping
hand and helping this generation.
Richard Dodds (15:30):
Yeah, Even when the fathers are there like you
know what I mean it's still like, I think about it.
Even my dad my dad when I wasgrowing up.
He wasn't always able to bethere because he had to get the
money for us to actually live,so he wasn't always there.
But I'm lucky, luckily enough,I had someone like he was always
he.
whenever he could be there, hewas there, and you know, I have
(15:53):
come from big families, soeverybody else around me like
was there when he couldn't bethere, but like even
understanding that he wanted tobe there, like was one of the
hardest things, because I didn'tunderstand.
You know, my dad loves me.
I didn't know he wassacrificing, like I wanted to be
with him and he had to do whathe had to do and make sure we
had a roof over our heads.
So like even appreciating that.
So like thinking about someonewho doesn't even have that, like
(16:17):
it's so much harder, especiallyif you are by yourself.
So, absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (16:23):
I saw a lot of that, especially there in high
school, when we have these 13,14, 15, 16, 17 year old young
men or boys thinking thatthey're grown and their head.
They think they are because ofthe life that they've had to
live, because they've been toldwell, you're the man of the
house.
Now, you know mama's tellingthem that you're the man of the
house because the father's notthere and or not a positive male
role model, and so they'rebeing told this.
(16:45):
And I remember one young man, Ithink he was about 15 years old
at the alternative high school.
I was again.
I was the dean of students, soI dealt with discipline, and so
I'm talking to him about aparticular situation and he
tells me well, I'm a man, justlike you are man.
And I asked him I said, I'msorry, what did you say?
He said, well, I'm a man, likeyou are a man.
So who told you you were a man?
(17:06):
My mama told me I'm a man.
I said, son, you're not a manyet, that's okay, you're not a
man yet.
So I asked him for his drivinglicense, I asked him for a pay
stub, you know.
I asked him what bills hepaying, you know.
I asked him is he's able tovote?
You know, I asked him a wholelot of things that constitute
being a man with responsibilityand of course he couldn't.
He didn't have a positiveanswer for any of these things
(17:28):
and I said that's okay, you'restill a young man, you're still
a boy and that's okay for you tobe in a boy's place.
One day you'll be a man.
But it takes responsibilitiesto become a man.
You have 30 or 40, 50 year oldgentlemen or boys excuse me, men
that are out there who reallyare not being man because they
lack the responsibility or theintegrity or what it takes to
(17:50):
become a man.
So we can't put thatresponsibility or that much
pressure on these young boys.
It's not fair to them.
Richard Dodds (17:58):
Yeah, that's really tough and I'm thinking of
so.
It seems like when you actuallywent into the school,
everything is a lot of it justcentered around mentorship and
like I know that mentorship whenI think of mentorship too, I
think of another word.
I think of apprenticeship.
You know, back before theindustrial revolution everybody
(18:18):
had an apprentice, like if yourdaddy was a horse maker, he was
going to be a horse maker ahorse shoe maker, and they
taught you how to do it and youdid it for 20 years and then you
took over the business andy'all made horseshoes and that
was it.
And mentorship is a lot likethat I feel like how important
(18:39):
is mentorship?
That's part one, but part twodo you feel like we're missing a
lot of mentorship now, in thecurrent generation?
Absolutely.
Bobby Huntley (18:51):
Mentorship is key , it's essential, it's
definitely needed.
It's what's missing.
Again, keep in mind, sadly, inthe household, the father's not
there for various reasons, soit's the mother that's there,
it's the grandmother, the auntthat's there.
It's a lot of women that's inthe household trying to raise a
(19:14):
boy, you know, trying to raise agirl on their own.
And especially when we'retalking about boys, they need to
have a positive role model intheir life.
They need to have mentors intheir lives that can help guide
them, help nurture them, showthem love, show them their
self-worth.
Teach them, you know, in theprogram, the gentleman's club,
(19:35):
you know, we start from day one.
Teach them how to shake a man'shand, you know.
Teach them how to tie a tie.
Teach them what respect is allabout, how to be kind, to be
courteous.
Teach them how to use theproper utensils when they're
eating, you know.
Teach them how to open the doorfor a young lady, all manner of
(19:58):
things, even when it comes totheir parents.
Teach them how to, you know,prepare their clothes, that a
young man should always take ashower, to take a bath.
Use the odorant.
You know.
Work alone.
Brush your teeth.
You know.
Check yourself in the mirrorwhen you get out, before you go
out the door All these thingsthat they would probably get if
(20:19):
the father was in the house, ora positive male role model.
They would emulate that manthat's in the house.
And these are the things that aman does.
A man takes care of his notonly his home, but he takes care
of himself.
First.
You know proper grooming habits, the things of that nature,
communication skills.
All these things A lot of usare missing with our youth.
(20:41):
That's what's missing with ouryouth because they don't have a
mentor.
So it's programs like this thatis definitely needed in every
school and we have a young manthat comes to the program that
have a father at home.
The father is very fluent therein the house, so doing all the
things he's supposed to be doing, but again, keeping in mind, it
(21:01):
takes a village.
You know, we're not an islandon our own.
We all need to be in ittogether, lending the helping
hand, and so that is the key.
It mentorship is very essentialin every school.
I advocate that to the utmost.
Yes.
Richard Dodds (21:19):
Yeah, and I'm glad you said that like
sometimes, like even having afather or positive role model,
or having your mother, havingboth parents, it's stuff that
kids are facing now that even Ididn't have to face like growing
up, and you know it wasn't thatyou know I'm old enough, but
(21:40):
you know I'm not that old towhere I haven't like I don't
remember what school was.
Now we have a whole generationof kids that go to school and
they could be in a goodneighborhood and they can have
to worry about possibly beingshot and killed in school.
There's so many differentthings, like I remember being
able to come home and not havesocial media, so social media
(22:02):
wasn't a thing.
So, no matter what negativereinforcement I got at school,
when I got home and I had bothof my parents, my parents could
say like we love you, doesn'tmatter what else is going on in
the world, and you know my momand my dad have me and now, like
you, can do that.
But at the same time, thatnegative noise can still get
into your kid 24, seven, andit's going to make more noise
(22:25):
than the parents.
So it's like you, it's like somuch.
I feel like it's even moreimportant to have that
reinforcement and I think two,even two solid parents is hard
for them to carry that out bythemselves.
Bobby Huntley (22:36):
Absolutely.
And again, this is where thenot only the mentoring ship, of
course.
But you have your sports, youhave your other after school
activities that a child can beinvolved in, Anything that would
keep their mind occupied, keepthem from falling astray or keep
them from hanging out with thewrong people.
You know a lot of things thatwe did again with my mentoring
(22:59):
program.
You never believe, wouldprobably never guess, what is
the very first field trip that Iwould take by my guys on every
school year.
Can you give me a guess?
Very first field trip.
Richard Dodds (23:12):
See, I would think it's like scared straight,
like I would take them to likea prison or something like that.
Bobby Huntley (23:17):
Absolutely, absolutely.
We went to jail and we wouldstill started what September by
October we are very first fieldtrip is always to the jail and
to the courthouse.
Now I don't run a scarestraight program these young men
is in the program.
They're not in there becausethey're, you know, doing bad
(23:39):
things, that they're all badstudents with bad Grace.
We have honoros students.
That was in the program, myprogram.
You the only qualification.
You had to be a boy and you hadto attend that particular
school.
That was it.
Your grades wasn't an issue tojoin, but that's something we
took care of while you were partof the program.
But we would go to jail.
We would go to the courtroom,sit there and listen to a lot of
(24:01):
the cases.
They would see the inmates comein with handcuffs or whatever
the case may be.
We hear the trial, we sit downand we observe all of these
things.
And then we would actually goand have lunch in the cafeteria
with the sheriff's deputies.
We were interacting with thesheriff's deputies and then we
would put them in the cell block, closed the door and let them
get an opportunity to see whatit's like being in jail and they
(24:25):
would see what type of food theinmates are eating.
They would see that there's no,no doors to the toilet.
You know People are watchingyou what you're doing.
You know there may be a sheetCovering you to take a shower or
whatever case may be, buteverything is right out there in
the open.
So they got that experience.
And then we would go into aconference room and they would
(24:47):
actually hear an inmate Sharetheir stories on how they landed
in jail.
And I would tell you nine outof ten times, and they would
always say my trouble started inmiddle school when I started
misbehaving.
I started hanging out withtheir own crowd and they would
always say I wish I had aprogram Like what you're going
through the back, this program,I probably wouldn't be here
(25:09):
today.
So that was good to hear themsay that.
And then you know it wasnothing that we asked him to say
.
They were just being honest.
And these inmates would come inwith handcuffs, shapples around
their ankles, and we had oneyoung lady that was an inmate.
She came in and I'm thinking tomyself, well, what is she gonna
tell these guys?
But her story was very scaryabout her life, of drugs and
(25:29):
what she went through.
And so after hearing thesethings, then our, our students
would have to come back and byour next meeting, have me at
least two paragraphs of whatthey learned while being on this
particular field trip.
So that field trip was just toget their attention.
I used that to open up theireyes and let them see.
One of the models that we hadwas that it doesn't matter,
(25:52):
excuse me.
Well, we actually had two.
One is that it doesn't matterwhere in life you come from, but
what does matters, where youallow yourself to end up.
And then the other model was Ifyou're not on the right path,
then the wrong path lies ahead.
So one of them to see what thewrong path looks like, where you
would end up if you're on thewrong path.
Now, as far as the right path isconcerned, we take them to
(26:15):
colleges and universities.
We take them to do fun thingsbasketball games, college
basketball games, football games.
We were blessed one year, withthe help of a donation, we were
blessed one year to charter twobuses.
We went to the White House, toWashington DC.
We actually took a tour of theWhite House.
So that was very awesome.
(26:36):
And of course, we also touredMartin Luther King's Memorial.
So we did a lot of thingswithin the community and raised
money.
We bought these young menshirts and ties and suits and
things of that nature, becausewhen you came to our meetings
you came to school dressed in asuit.
So they learned a lot in theprogram.
We did a lot with our young manin the program.
Richard Dodds (26:58):
Yeah, and I think like even taking them to that
spot.
I think a lot of times we havemusic and Movies that are being
fed to our youth that glamorizea particular lifestyle that 99
times out of a hundred, leads tothe jailhouse and in one way
whether it's a quick stay or along stay or maybe even
(27:22):
something worse so to actuallygive them something like that
was more than a concept.
This is, this is what itactually is flesh and blood,
guys.
This is what it looks likeevery day.
This is what that lifestyleleads you to.
These are people who Actuallylive those lives that that
you've heard about, and this iswhere they ended up and it's it.
I guess that that had to belike one of the best like visual
(27:44):
A's possible, like to likereally put a reality in these
kids.
Bobby Huntley (27:49):
And that's what was awesome about when they
wrote their paragraph, becausethey had nothing to say with
their own eyes and listen forthemselves, you know, from the
court setting, listening to thejudge, listening to them being
sentenced, listening to theyoung men or young ladies trying
to plead their case, asking formercy, whatever the case may be
, and then actually hearing theend make themselves Speak on
(28:13):
their plight being a drug dealeror skipping, school Robbing,
whatever the case may be.
They heard these true storiesand they came back, you know,
and then I would post, we would,I would have them write their,
their paragraphs and I wouldtype it up.
You didn't laminate it and weposted all over the school for
(28:34):
everyone else to see and theywould hear from their own
Classmates what their experiencewas like.
So it was very and I hope mefor everybody.
It affected the whole school ina positive way.
Richard Dodds (28:47):
Yeah, that's.
I mean, it's a lot like evenwhen you were saying you're
taking them.
It's like it's overwhelming forme, like I love that's a lot
like that's you know you.
You never want to end up thereLike absolutely, you definitely
don't want.
We definitely don't want ouryouth there.
It's enough things that arechallenging for black men and
women in this world.
Like you know, it's a lot oflike a lot of times, a world.
Bobby Huntley (29:08):
It seems like it's out to get us and it's just
so important to to not give anyextra Incentive for them to
come and get us, Absolutelythat's, that's one of the
dollars demonstrated to them andshowed them that you know, a
lot of times you hear people saythat and I've said it that it
could be that our skin is oursin.
(29:31):
Just being in the skin thatwe're in, you know, being black,
african-american it opposes athreat to so many people, and
especially being a male, and sowe can't, we can't do anything
to put ourselves in harm's wayor give anybody calls to want to
hurt us or to keep us fromaccomplishing or becoming who we
were meant to be.
(29:52):
So that's that's very vital.
And again, it worked the samewith our young ladies, because
we really had some, somewonderful things.
We would come together and andGo out to dinner.
You know, we talked to themproper dining etiquette, we went
on a cruise with with the youngladies and we taught them how
(30:15):
to do salsa, dance, and so wewould come up with different
things to do to interact theboys and the girls together, to
give them a better outlook onhow to communicate with one
another and how we shouldrespect our young ladies.
Richard Dodds (30:29):
And then you know , I think about, I hear, I hear
the things that you're sayingand the things that you talked
to young men and women and it'slike I'm parents old school, I'm
kind of old school just bydefault, right, okay, a lot of
like you hear.
Like the world, like a lot ofthe world, we'll probably say
that, like some of the thingsthat you're teaching them, like
that is etiquette and it's beenproper etiquette.
Like, like I grew up, that wasetiquette, etiquette.
Some people don't they, theydon't follow that anymore.
(30:52):
Like you don't have to open upa, like I don't need, I don't
need a man to open up a door forme and this and this and that.
What do you say?
Like I know traditions arechanging and I know that kind of
like we talked about before.
It has to be some balance.
Like what do you think aboutthat?
Like some of the shifts thatare starting to happen and
where's the room for, like theold school and the new school?
Bobby Huntley (31:11):
What order.
For the old school to exist, wehave to teach it and I think if
it's not being taught then theydon't know any better.
You take a young lady whoProbably wasn't raised in that
way, that didn't come up to seeher father treat her mother that
way, opening doors.
My wife and I, we justcelebrated 29 years of marriage
(31:35):
this past July.
We went out today and today Iopened the door for her.
You know, and my wife would goto a store she knows not to even
touch the door to go into adepartment store where we go,
because I'm gonna do that.
My sons, who grew up watchinghow I interact with their mother
my youngest is 21 and I thinkmy oldest son is probably 35, 36
(31:59):
they open the door for theirmother.
She can be walking and and shedon't raise her hand to open the
door at all.
So it's just being taught.
And if the young man is with ayoung lady, she said you don't
have to open the door for me.
Well, uh, I, I wouldn't letanyone change who I am.
I'll continue to open the doorbecause that's how I was raised.
(32:19):
That's just who I am.
She either walked through it ordon't walk through it, but I
can't and will not stop beingwho I am.
You know that's being agentleman, and so if we don't
teach our children, then thenthis is where, where we've,
where we come to, you know.
So for someone to say, youdon't have to open the door for
me, I open it myself.
Well, I know I don't have toopen the door, but that's just
(32:41):
who I am.
Uh, you don't have to gothrough it, but I'm gonna
continue to be the gentlemanthat I, that I am, and we'll
leave it at that.
Richard Dodds (32:50):
Gotcha, gotcha.
So 19 years in the schoolsystem, yes, what are some of
your biggest takeaways?
Because I know you, you got tosee like so many different sides
, especially with all thedifferent positions that you had
in the school.
Like, what are some of yourbiggest takeaways from being in
the school system so long?
And maybe like what are somethings that we can do to make
that experience better for forthe kids and I mean, I guess,
(33:12):
and the parents and the teachersas well.
Bobby Huntley (33:15):
Well, I I would say that I think everything
starts with the administrators,with the principal, the
assistant principal, with thecounselors, the teachers, but I
think everything trickles,trickles down and as so in life,
even on a job, you know, withthe supervisor, the manager or
whatever the case may be, Ithink the, the administrators,
(33:38):
are the ones that really set thetone For how well that school
is going to operate.
I've I've had the privilege ofbeing working with some
wonderful principles and I'vehad opportunities to work with
Not so wonderful principles andand it pretty much dictated how
the school was being ran To,where the morale was down as far
(33:59):
as the teachers is concerned,because the relationship wasn't
strong.
And if the teachers morale isdown, you can, you can certainly
understand why there's a, adistance between the teachers
and the students, because theteachers not being treated
fairly or with much respect, andit shrinkles down.
And so I've been in schools towhere that was the case.
(34:20):
I've been in school with theprincipals were just great
people.
They respect their, theteachers, they respect the
parents.
That when the parents came inand then you know so the morale
was great in the school.
The students worked well, youknow, they knew that they were
loved, the grades were, werethere, you know, the tests were
(34:41):
there, and so everything was inthe positive manner.
So it can go both ways, and Ithink that we need to be fair
and honest with everyone,especially with principals, and
if you have principals orteachers they're not Doing the
job, then we somehow need toneed to replace them and get
teachers who still care aboutTeaching and educating our
(35:06):
children.
So it certainly starts with theteachers, it starts with the
administrator, as well as thesuperintendents and school
boards.
I've had the privilege of beingon some of the school boards
and going there and speakingwith the school board members,
you know, because that's who dothe hiring.
As far as superintendents areconcerned, you know, and so you
(35:27):
know they too are the village,and I think that if we would
treat everyone with respect,with courtesy, and and the
principals would listen to theirteachers, give them the time
they need to prepare theirlesson plans and and not to be a
taskmaster, not to rule overthem with the whip, you know,
(35:48):
but give them the the reign thatthey need, the freedom that
they need to properly Teach ourstudents.
I've seen some wonderfulteachers who have a Unique way
of teaching.
The job got done, but becausethey didn't follow that
particular curriculum or theywouldn't on that particular task
at that particular minute,there was an issue, and when you
(36:10):
affect them around the otherteachers, you affect them around
with the students, and then youhave some principals, sadly
enough, just didn't care, it wasjust in it for a paycheck.
And so there's still a lot ofwork to be done with an
excrucius and I based it againon my 90s and me being at
various schools, to the pointthat my last book that I that I
(36:31):
wrote came out last year's titlethe shaping of our future
generation putting a plug in aschool to prison pipeline.
I do believe that there is sucha thing as school to prison
pipeline, which means that a lotof things that's happened to
our youth, to our children,especially African-American and
Brown children, where therebeing a lot of referrals, are
(36:54):
being written on them, a lot ofdiscipline is being put on them.
That's unwarranted, uncalledfor, and you're stacking all
these negative reports on themand they ultimately are getting
in school suspension, out ofschool suspension, being put,
placed in an alternative highschool kids are being left
behind, and then they get to apoint where they're so far
(37:16):
behind.
Then they decide to just dropout of school, and when they
drop out of school, there's no,there's no guidance.
There's a lot of time on theirhands, so they're roaming the
streets, they're out doingthings they shouldn't be doing,
with their car, jacking, goingto the store, stealing or
whatever the case may be andthey end up going to court and
going to jail.
(37:37):
Hence school, the prisonpipeline.
You know we're building morejails than our private jails,
than schools, and when you buildthese private jails they have
to be housed.
You know money have to begenerated and the money is
generated by putting people injail, and so that's a serious
problem.
So my book illustrates a lot ofthe issues, a lot of the
(37:59):
problems again the shaping ofour future generation, putting
the school, putting that plug inthe school, the prison pipeline
, excuse me, yes, yeah, I'm gladyou brought that up because
that was something I was goingto ask you about because we
talked about it before.
Richard Dodds (38:14):
But I didn't really even understand the
school, the prison pipeline andI didn't really I didn't really
get it.
I think when I really the firsttime I really really got it and
on the first episode I kind ofI kind of talked about not the
school, the prison pipeline, butgoing from growing up in
Detroit, going to school inDetroit and then being a visitor
(38:36):
in a suburban school, seeinghow different the classrooms and
everything is laid out and me,like when I graduated from high
school I went to university.
So university for me was likeculture shock, because
everything is open.
It's why this is different.
But then being able to go tosome of the suburban schools and
(38:58):
seeing like those suburbanschools looked a lot more like
college you know what I mean andthen also never have been,
never have gone to prison, likeseeing pictures and seeing the
rooms and the way they set upand it's like, wow, that looks a
lot more like the schools Iwent to than the colleges that I
(39:19):
attended and I didn't reallyunderstand it and it's something
.
It's a term that you hear a lot,but I don't think it's a term
that everybody reallyunderstands.
That what's going on?
Bobby Huntley (39:30):
Certainly, it's interesting.
Just the other day I think itwas yesterday while on social
media something came up and itshowed the prison bus and
underneath the prison bus was aschool bus and they're the same,
just different colors.
They showed a prison cafeteria.
Then they showed a school'scafeteria and they set up the
(39:54):
same way.
They showed a prison hallwayand they showed a school hallway
and it's pretty much the same.
So all that's still the samethe building, the architect, the
way it's set up, it looks thesame.
It's just have, you know, onthe prisons it's just have
barbed wires, you know, but thebuilding pretty much looked the
(40:15):
same and the cafeteria certainlylooked the same.
Because I'm a witness myself,you know it looks the same.
So that is a real thing schoolto prison pipeline and what
we're talking about.
You can have two students, onewhite seventh grade student, one
black seventh grade student.
Both have the same offense,same issue, same problems.
(40:40):
Well, that white student mayjust get a verbal reprimand and
send back the class, but thatblack student gets a referral
and gets sent back to class.
Well, what's the difference?
Well, now there's a paper trailon the black student.
There's a paper trail.
The principal just writes it upand put it in her desk.
If you get in trouble again,we're going to, you know,
(41:02):
proceed with the following andthat's what happens.
So you have kids that get intotrouble and really small
infractions, but they put areferral on them.
If you get four, five, six,your seventh referral, then you
get to go to ISS, and so it'sjust building a case against you
to where that white student,perhaps, you know, was just
(41:23):
being told.
You know, don't do it again.
And then the second time, don'tdo it again, the third time,
but by that time the blackstudents are already accumulated
three or four referrals andaccording to the guideline based
on the number of referrals,that dictates to the direction
you're going, and you end up atan alternative school and,
depending on what thealternative school is and how
(41:43):
it's being ran and managed, thenyou find yourself behind and
again you end up dropping out ofschool because you're 16, 17
years old now and you're now two, two grade classes.
You know two, yeah, you'refriends, you're juniors and
you're still a freshman, orthey're seniors and you're just
a sophomore.
And so you decide man, I'm notstaying here, I'm embarrassed,
(42:04):
so I quit, I drop out, and then.
So it's designed for you.
You know, once you do that,then you pretty much look in a
jail or prison and that's sadly.
But yeah, get my book.
I share a lot of stories,personal stories, not from what
I'm told but what I'veexperienced myself as it
pertains to that.
Richard Dodds (42:25):
I have a theory that I kind of talk about a lot
and it's one of the reasons whyI wanted to do a black media
company and that's why I'm doingwhat.
That's one of the reasons whyI'm doing what I'm doing now and
I think that, like perception Ifeel like perception is such a
big, a big big thing on how,like us, as people of color, are
(42:45):
treated in the world in a lotof different ways, and I think
it has a lot to do with the waythat we behave and a lot of ways
.
A lot of ways it has to do withthe way that people look at us
and I think that people perceiveus as something other.
And I think about the exampleyou gave.
You know, and in certainsituations some people might say
like, oh, this is going to be agood kid.
(43:07):
But if you think that all blackkids are troublemakers and
you're like he's going to be atroublemaker either way, it goes
, and it doesn't even matter ifyou're black, because we getting
hit with the same stuff thateverybody else is getting hit
with, and it's like, oh, thiskid's going to be a troublemaker
.
So if you're going from thatthought and that perception in
your head that he's alreadygoing to be a troublemaker or
she's already going to be atroublemaker, then you're going
to give them a lot less leniencythan you would somebody else.
(43:30):
And if your perception ofyourself is that I'm already
going down this road it'snothing I can do to change that,
that's just my future then theway that you're going to respond
to that happening is going tobe completely different than if
I say the world is mine, I cando anything that I want.
I can't rise up, and I thinkperception the way we perceive
(43:54):
ourselves and the way that theworld perceives us is such a big
thing, and that's like one ofthe things that I think even
mentorship all the things thatyou talk about really deals with
perception like.
What are your thoughts on thattheory?
Bobby Huntley (44:07):
Well, thank you.
You reminded me of somethingand I hope that what I'm about
to say answers that question.
A friend of mine, who's retiredschool teacher he substituted,
and so he shared with me that hesubstituted at an elementary
school and when he got there andgot the assignment the class
(44:29):
that he was going to besubstituting one of the teachers
asked him do you know whereyou're going?
He showed her yes, I'm going tothis location.
She said oh, wow, good luck,you're going to some really
troubled kids.
Now this is elementary, soyou're going to a class full of
troubled kids.
So he gets to the classroom andthen it's predominantly all
(44:53):
black students, elementary.
Now he gets into the classroomand the kids are misbehaving and
they say so, you're oursubstitute teacher.
We don't know how long you'regoing to be here.
Our lives are up to teach, youronly life to the day.
And we're bad.
We're the worst class that thisis the children saying who they
are to the substitute teacher.
(45:13):
We're bad.
We're the bad students in theschool you're not going to last
in here.
And when he shared that with me, tears came to my eyes.
These students have been toldthis.
They've been said, they've beentold that you're bad, that's
who you are.
So they've come to realize thatand to accept that and speak
(45:35):
that.
They're speaking that overtheir lives, that they're bad
and so they're behaving that waybecause that's what's expected
of them.
So teachers and whoever elseare telling our children that
you're bad, that you're notgoing to amount to anything,
that that's just who you are,and so they receive that and
they're speaking that and nottake that hurts me to my core.
(45:55):
That hurts me to my core and so, yeah.
So that's why we teach them inthe gentleman's club to to
consider themselves even morebetter than anyone else.
Think of them, to think highlyof yourself, to look yourself in
the mirror, because I speakfrom my experience.
When I talk to my young man, Ishare them my life story.
(46:18):
I remember that I'm growing up12, 13 years old.
I wasn't that attractive at all.
I was a little heavy set, I hadbad skin complexion and I had a
large head, and sometimes I hada girlfriend.
There was another time I didn'thave a girlfriend, so being an
adolescent wasn't that too greatfor me.
(46:38):
And so I remember looking inthe mirror and asking God why'd
you make me so ugly?
Why'd you make me not remembercrying in the mirror who are?
My brother, who's just 10months older than I, am
beautiful complexion, you know.
The girls loved him.
He never had a problem withdating, you know, and so, but
looking at my life, myappearance, I was pretty much
(47:00):
down on myself, but I drew intowho I am.
I didn't know that I wouldbecome 6'6" and my brother would
only be 5'10", so I drew to be6'6".
I had a big head for a reasonbecause I had to support this
big body that I was going to beable to have Now.
I didn't always have the weightthat I had on me.
I used to be slim and trim, youknow, and you know GQ, ready to
(47:24):
go.
And so I would share thesestories with my young man that
it's not about how you look now,because you know your life is
going to be so much better.
Trust me, you're going to dogreat.
Just get this education, learnthis, get this knowledge, get as
much knowledge as you possiblycan, because it's going to
prepare you for the rest of yourlife.
And so I share with them thatbe comfortable with who you are.
(47:49):
You know, because we have kidsthat are committing suicide now
for being bullied by theirparents and things of this
nature.
So I show my young man you know, you're fine, you look good.
Now let's get you a nice suit.
Let's teach you how to tie atie.
Let's teach you how to takecare of yourself.
Let's teach you how to wearsome nice smell in the cologne.
Let's teach you how to properlyspeak.
(48:10):
You know, allow me to instillthese things in you, and then
you're going to be great.
I see my young man now who are21, 22, 23 years old, with
family, with their children, andwhen they see me they get so
excited.
Mr Hunter, remember me, I wasin middle school, I was in your
program, and they turn out to besome fine young men that are
(48:32):
taking care of their family.
You know their wives are happybecause they went through the
program and I hear a lot ofsuccess stories.
But it's all about what wespeak to our children.
It's all about what we say tothem and, if you don't mind, I
want to share when I talk aboutrespect.
You know, respect R-E-S-P-E-C-Tnot the re-reference version,
(48:56):
but this is the acronym that Icame up with.
As far as respect, that R isrecognizing, assessing and
understanding today's youth.
We have to understand who we'redealing with.
Whether our children are goingthrough E is encouraging them to
succeed in life despite theircircumstances.
S.
Seeing through their eyes whatthe world has to offer them.
(49:20):
P.
Plan to lift them up, nevertearing them down with words or
deeds.
E.
Equipping them with the toolsneeded to succeed in life.
C.
Challenging them to lovethemselves by respecting
themselves.
T.
Trusting that the seed youdeposit into them will bring
(49:43):
forth its fruit and its season,Thus respect.
Richard Dodds (49:49):
And I think that's very well said.
You said a lot of like, greatthings and that whole thing you
did definitely answered myquestion and like even hearing
that about the elementary schoolis very sad because you know at
that age, whatever you tellthem, they're going to live up
to it.
You know they're going topursue it, they're going to
repeat it, they're going toregurgitate it, they're going to
(50:10):
, they're going to at elementaryschool age, you're going to
internalize it.
And the crazy thing is is that,depending on someone's
perspective on that kid, thosekids could have just been being
kids.
It could have just been they'redoing the same thing that any
other colored kids would do.
But sometimes people will lookat all of the black kids.
They're doing something that'sdifferent.
(50:32):
When they do it, it's moreviolent, it's more bad, it's
more rough, and then you tellthem they're bad and then they
try to live up to being bad.
It's just, yeah, that's tough.
I can understand why you wantto shed a tear on that.
Bobby Huntley (50:44):
Now, at this stage, right now, being retired,
I have, along with three orfour other friends of mine who
have retired, we've formulatedthis organization that we call
757, which is our area code themovement.
It still takes a village inwhat we do and when we hear of
(51:05):
cases of our children in schoolthat are going through
disciplinary actions and and arebeing faced with out of school
suspension or either going tothe renaissance alternative high
school or going before theboard to be exposed or expelled
from school, the parents reachout to us and we come together
(51:27):
and we look at the case.
We take a look at what are thewhat we call charges and what
have you that infractions that'son this child, and we come
collectively together and go tothe school board hearings, go to
what we call the office ofstudent leadership that decides
what to do with them, and thenwe speak on the children's
behalf.
And what I find interesting,what you just said they forget
(51:50):
that we're talking about kids,that kids do what kids do.
So the young man was runningdown the hallway.
You really tell me that yourwhole time in school you never
ran down the hall.
I know I did so, so they're notgoing to teach you through and
ran.
You never done it.
I know I did.
You know, if I was penalizingand, and, and, and, and and it
(52:10):
says nail to the cross then Iprobably wouldn't be the man
that I am today.
You know, a college graduate,you know, with two degrees and
author of five books andinspirational speaker who's
traveled the country you know,and a pastor of 20 years, mentor
and advocate.
I probably wouldn't be the manI am if I got nailed to the
(52:31):
cross or everything that I did.
So we have to understand thatand come together and speak up
on the behalf of our childrenand not let that single mother
walk into these meetings, theseschool board hearings, along
with with no representation.
Richard Dodds (52:47):
So it sounds like even in retirement you still
got a lot more work to do.
Bobby Huntley (52:53):
I'm going to work until God calls me home.
Richard Dodds (52:56):
That's awesome.
Well, look, I want to thank youfor coming on the show.
I really appreciate everythingthat you shared with us today.
Bobby Huntley (53:03):
Thank you, it's been a pleasure.
Richard Dodds (53:06):
So again, I'd like to thank Bobby for coming
on the show.
If you'd like to learn moreabout him or the things that he
does, maybe look at his books.
You can find that informationin the show notes.
Still Talking Black is a CrownCulture Media LLC production.
You can find out more aboutStill Talking Black at
StillTalkingBlackcom.
If you enjoyed this episode,please like, subscribe and share
(53:27):
with a friend.
But until next time, keeptalking.
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