March 7, 2025 • 11 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Listen, when it comes toalcohol, there are 10 certain
signs that can come up that youmust not ignore.
They're warning signs that it'stime to do something, and if
you ignore them, it might be toolate.
Listen, I'm not here to callyou out or cause stress or
anything of the kind.
The thing is, conversationslike this are hard.
It's going to be hard for yourfriends to talk to you about
(00:41):
this, hard for your family totalk to you about this, and
it'll be even hard for you tohave this conversation with
yourself.
And today, in this video, I'mnot going to be the friend you
want.
I'm going to be the friend youneed, because you need to hear
this and just so you know you'renot alone here.
All of these 10 signs arethings that came up in my own
life and for the 10 years Idrank, for I was either too
scared to look at these signs ortoo proud to address them, so
(01:04):
I'm going to use plenty ofpersonal and almost embarrassing
examples because I want to domy best to help.
So let's get into sign numberone.
The first sign is drinking tomanage your emotions.
Think about it like this we gethome from a stressful day of
work where there's all thischaos and demands on our time,
and we finally get home and wepour ourselves a drink.
We're de-stressing, we have anargument with somebody, somebody
(01:25):
upsets us, we're feeling angry.
What do we do?
Escape with the bottle.
And when you do thiscontinually, it's a sign that
you're not just drinking for thesake of drinking anymore.
You're drinking to deal withemotions and basically you're
using it as a form of escapism.
I used to do this all of thetime Feeling lonely.
Have a drink.
Feeling a little bitunderconfident.
Have a drink.
Meet a new person and feel abit shy.
(01:46):
Have a drink.
Look at my life and not feelhappy one day.
Have a drink.
Have a massive win and make asale or make some money.
Have a drink.
You see the pattern here.
What started happening in my ownlife is every emotion I'd use
as an excuse to drink.
At first it didn't seem so bad,but the problem is, is.
It spirals and I'd need todrink more and more and more to
escape that emotion.
So that's the first sign.
(02:07):
The second sign is havingfailed attempts to moderate.
So if you're repeatedly tellingyourself that I'm only going to
have like two drinks on aFriday and one drink on a
Saturday, and then you drinkmore, this is another massive
sign.
Listen, this was me for 10years.
I always said to myself I wasgoing to moderate.
There was probably a handful oftimes in my life where I was
(02:27):
intentionally getting drunk.
Most of the time I'd say, allright, I'll just have one and
then see what happens.
Or I'd actually promise myselfI'm only gonna have one, two,
three drinks, and nine times outof 10, I wasn't sticking to it.
Another big thing that wouldhappen is I might stop for a
period of time.
(02:48):
But if you keep telling yourselfthis and you keep failing I
don't want to sound too brutal,but it's going to be like a
sledgehammer to the face.
But you're lying to yourself.
You're lying to yourself.
It's not going to be differentthis time.
The drug remains the same.
Alcohol is still one of themost addictive drugs on the
planet, regardless of how youpromise yourself.
It's going to be different thistime.
The drug never changes.
(03:09):
Moderation is a fallacy.
The best thing you can do foryourself is change the way that
you view alcohol and then make adecision.
Make one decision and then bedone with it.
It's not going to be differentthis time, it's not going to be
different next time.
It's the same drug.
This keeps happening.
Maybe it's time to do somethingdifferent.
If you do want to do somethingdifferent, don't forget to go to
soberclearcom.
Learn about that.
But now let's get into numberthree.
(03:29):
The third sign is you'restarting to engage in
risk-taking behavior.
This might mean driving afterdrinking, thinking it's going to
be okay.
It might mean risking certainmedications with alcohol and I'm
not going to sit here and lista million bad decisions that you
could make.
But what happens when you drinkis we don't think about the
consequences of what couldhappen later on down the line.
It's all in the moment and wejust want to feel good now.
(03:52):
So, for example, with drinkdriving, people just want to be
in their own environment and getthemselves home.
They don't want to pull outtheir phone, get a taxi, go and
pick the car up the next day,which is obviously the right
thing to do.
But when people are drunk inthe moment they don't think this
far ahead and listen.
When it comes to risk-takingbehavior, sometimes I don't
think I should be a lie.
I try to keep this channelrelatable.
I try to keep it on topic onalcohol, but when I was drinking
(04:14):
, when I was growing up, I madesome of the most ridiculous life
choices ever Going out drinkingwith criminals, with people
that have just got out of jailwhen I was 18.
Drink driving completelyblackout, drunk at three in the
morning.
See, this is the thing is thateven though I was 16, I was
still drinking like a lunatic.
When I drank, I drank.
I remember I was 16 and I had a50cc scooter like a moped.
(04:34):
I don't know if other countriesdo that.
It's like a thing in Englandwhen you're 16, you're allowed a
moped, 17, you're allowed todrive.
So when I was 16, I was gettingthe moped, I remember driving
it home, so drunk I walked inthe door.
It was like two put myself insome incredibly, incredibly
(04:55):
dangerous situations.
Now the thing is is when Ireflect and look back at this
stuff, I think what was Ithinking?
But once I've got a few drinksin me, those thoughts disappear.
I'm not thinking about theconsequences of anything.
And if you're starting to seethis in your own life maybe not
as extreme as my examples, butif you're starting to see it it
is a sign because guess what?
Maybe one day you're a littlebit over the limit, you get
pulled over, you've lost yourlicense for a year.
(05:17):
Maybe one day you're over thelimit, kid runs out in front of
you.
You don't know, accidents canhappen and I've met people, I've
spoke to people, who have hadtheir lives turned around
because of this risk-takingbehavior.
Now the fourth sign is in memorygaps, and they're becoming much
more common.
So if you're regularlyexperiencing blackouts or your
memory's just not really what itused to be, this is a real,
(05:38):
real sign.
This can be a massive, massivesign that it's time to change.
The scary thing for me was thisstarted happening even if I
didn't drink too much.
Sure, if I went out and drank10 pints, I'm probably going to
black out, especially if I wasdrinking on an empty stomach.
But then there would be timeswhere I might drink three to
four pints and still have thesemassive lapses in my memory and
that got scary and I've had somepretty scary blackouts and I
(06:01):
can actually still remember thefeeling of waking up and not
having any recollection, ofgetting home having no idea what
happened.
You know I've had some prettyscary blackouts in some pretty
nasty areas.
The thing is is I'd love totell you more about my blackouts
but, to be frank, I can'tremember.
And that's the scary thing.
Maybe I said something to thewrong person that night.
I don't know, but theconsequence of a blackout can be
(06:22):
so severe it can end in death.
You just don't know.
The fifth sign is in a decliningphysical health.
This is when you might havethings like unexpected digestive
issues, weight gain.
Your blood work might not lookgreat.
You might get some bad resultswith your liver.
If you ever get blood work done, you might be getting headaches
.
If you're starting to seephysical health scares, this is
(06:43):
one of the biggest signs of all.
What happened to me was the moreI drank, the more I could feel
it in my health.
Now, if you have drank for along time, you'll know what I'm
talking about.
If you've never really drank alot, you won't kind of get this.
But I felt unhealthy.
The more I drank, the worse I'dfeel.
I could just feel like I waspoisoning every cell of my body,
which I was, but I could reallyfeel it.
I could feel the shakes andit's really hard to describe,
(07:05):
it's really hard to put it intowords, but I just knew I was
battering my body, I was beatingit and when I'd wake up with a
hangover it's like I could feelit all rattling around in my
brain.
But then I've also had specificthings that have happened, like
I once threw up blood on acomputer after a night out,
scared the life out of me.
Actually, that scared me intostopping drinking for like six
months.
When I was drinking, I startedputting on weight.
(07:26):
The physical signs were veryapparent.
That's happening to you.
Another sign, the sixth sign, isin prioritizing drinking
occasions.
So this is when you startplanning your schedule or
planning activities around whenyou can and can't drink, and
also thinking about the recovery, so what days and what nights
you can drink more than usual.
If you're starting to thinklike this, it's not normal and
(07:47):
I'm not again, I'm not trying tobelittle you, I've done this.
But I'll give you an example.
If I went out with somebodythat didn't really drink a lot,
let's say, I'm just going tocatch up with a friend.
We're going to have a dinner.
They might have one drink.
I have two drinks.
Afterwards I'd have a plan inmy head of where I'm going to go
(08:07):
next, because I know that thatI wanted to spend time with were
drinkers, and if you didn'tdrink, I didn't really see a
point of spending that much timewith you.
So instead of doing somethinggood for myself, like I don't
know going to a gym, spendingtime with my family, I'd always
want to prioritize my drinking.
Now, the seventh sign is in thestrain that happens in your
relationships.
Now this is when friends,family, loved ones, maybe
(08:32):
children, spouses they'restarting to express a concern
and you can see that it'sstraining your relationships.
Now this is big.
When this used to happen when Idrank, I would immediately get
defensive oh, it's not that bad,I can stop anytime.
It's just not that bad.
I don't drink that much.
It's not like I'm drinkingvodka in the morning.
It's not like I'm like thatperson, like this person.
It's not that bad.
And I was in denial.
And when people are continuallycoming up to me and expressing
(08:52):
concern and I keep just brushingthem off, what do you think
happens?
People got sick of it.
My mum has been to AA for over20 years.
That's how she got sober.
It wasn't how I got sober, butthat's worked for her that
program and when I used to drink, she knew that I was drinking
pretty heavily.
So imagine the fear.
Imagine how terrified she wouldhave been.
Alcohol has destroyed romanticrelationships.
For me, it's destroyedfriendships, and listen, I'm so
(09:15):
grateful that I stopped drinkingsix years ago because this was
only getting worse.
A big thing in my relationshipsis I'm 32 years of age but I
have an 18-year-old brother.
We have a huge age differenceNow.
When I was drinking he was alot younger, but now that I'm
older, I want to set a goodexample to people around me,
especially the younger ones.
I don't want people coming upto me that love me, that are
worried, sick about my drinking.
(09:35):
Anyway, this actually touchesmy heart.
This, like that, was a bigthing for me and a big motivator
to stop.
But if your relationships arestraining, maybe it's time.
The eighth sign is when youstart losing interest in other
things.
This is when hobbies that youmight used to have had just
start taking a backseat to thedrinking.
Maybe in the past you enjoyedsport, skiing, maybe playing an
(09:55):
instrument, maybe reading, andthese days you just either don't
seem to find the time or you'vejust kind of lost interest in
those things altogether.
They don't give you thepleasure that they once used to.
The only thing that seems togive you pleasure is alcohol.
Honestly, when I was drinkingalcohol, I don't think I had a
single hobby.
I used to think of my hobby asdrinking alcohol.
(10:16):
Listen, that's not a hobby.
There's nothing fun about doingthis.
How is this a hobby?
It's ludicrous.
It's not a hobby.
It's drug addiction and there'sno other way to put it.
The ninth sign is in thefinancial impact.
So if you're spending anincreased amount of money on
alcohol or it's causing a lossof productivity, this is huge.
Think about the average drinkerthey're spending $150,000,
$200,000 on alcohol over thecourse of a lifetime.
(10:36):
But the problem is is that whenpeople get older, they usually
have more disposable income, sothey end up drinking more and
spending more drinking inrestaurants, and it just goes up
and up and up.
And another big thing is theloss of productivity, especially
if you've got a business or acareer where there are
promotions, there are clientsthat you might be missing out on
, and this can be huge.
Now, I think one of the problemsis when we drink we're so
(10:56):
focused on the moment andfeeling good that in the moment
we don't really care.
We order some things on Amazonafter a few drinks, whatever we
buy a round for a bunch ofstrangers in a bar.
Who cares?
I mean, I've done that a bunchof times.
But when you do finally stop,that's when you'll see not only
the gain in the money that yousaved, but the lost potential of
(11:17):
spending all that time drinking.
You are capable of so much more.
And the 10th and final sign isin withdrawal symptoms.
If you're experiencingshakiness, anxiety, irritability
when you're not drinking, thenthis is one of the telltale
signs that you are actuallydrunk.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
(11:46):
wwwsoberclearcom.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Listen, when it comes toalcohol, there are 10 certain
signs that can come up that youmust not ignore.
They're warning signs that it'stime to do something, and if
you ignore them, it might be toolate.
Listen, I'm not here to callyou out or cause stress or
anything of the kind.
The thing is, conversationslike this are hard.
It's going to be hard for yourfriends to talk to you about
(00:41):
this, hard for your family totalk to you about this, and
it'll be even hard for you tohave this conversation with
yourself.
And today, in this video, I'mnot going to be the friend you
want.
I'm going to be the friend youneed, because you need to hear
this and just so you know you'renot alone here.
All of these 10 signs arethings that came up in my own
life and for the 10 years Idrank, for I was either too
scared to look at these signs ortoo proud to address them, so
(01:04):
I'm going to use plenty ofpersonal and almost embarrassing
examples because I want to domy best to help.
So let's get into sign numberone.
The first sign is drinking tomanage your emotions.
Think about it like this we gethome from a stressful day of
work where there's all thischaos and demands on our time,
and we finally get home and wepour ourselves a drink.
We're de-stressing, we have anargument with somebody, somebody
(01:25):
upsets us, we're feeling angry.
What do we do?
Escape with the bottle.
And when you do thiscontinually, it's a sign that
you're not just drinking for thesake of drinking anymore.
You're drinking to deal withemotions and basically you're
using it as a form of escapism.
I used to do this all of thetime Feeling lonely.
Have a drink.
Feeling a little bitunderconfident.
Have a drink.
Meet a new person and feel abit shy.
(01:46):
Have a drink.
Look at my life and not feelhappy one day.
Have a drink.
Have a massive win and make asale or make some money.
Have a drink.
You see the pattern here.
What started happening in my ownlife is every emotion I'd use
as an excuse to drink.
At first it didn't seem so bad,but the problem is, is.
It spirals and I'd need todrink more and more and more to
escape that emotion.
So that's the first sign.
(02:07):
The second sign is havingfailed attempts to moderate.
So if you're repeatedly tellingyourself that I'm only going to
have like two drinks on aFriday and one drink on a
Saturday, and then you drinkmore, this is another massive
sign.
Listen, this was me for 10years.
I always said to myself I wasgoing to moderate.
There was probably a handful oftimes in my life where I was
(02:27):
intentionally getting drunk.
Most of the time I'd say, allright, I'll just have one and
then see what happens.
Or I'd actually promise myselfI'm only gonna have one, two,
three drinks, and nine times outof 10, I wasn't sticking to it.
Another big thing that wouldhappen is I might stop for a
period of time.
(02:48):
But if you keep telling yourselfthis and you keep failing I
don't want to sound too brutal,but it's going to be like a
sledgehammer to the face.
But you're lying to yourself.
You're lying to yourself.
It's not going to be differentthis time.
The drug remains the same.
Alcohol is still one of themost addictive drugs on the
planet, regardless of how youpromise yourself.
It's going to be different thistime.
The drug never changes.
(03:09):
Moderation is a fallacy.
The best thing you can do foryourself is change the way that
you view alcohol and then make adecision.
Make one decision and then bedone with it.
It's not going to be differentthis time, it's not going to be
different next time.
It's the same drug.
This keeps happening.
Maybe it's time to do somethingdifferent.
If you do want to do somethingdifferent, don't forget to go to
soberclearcom.
Learn about that.
But now let's get into numberthree.
(03:29):
The third sign is you'restarting to engage in
risk-taking behavior.
This might mean driving afterdrinking, thinking it's going to
be okay.
It might mean risking certainmedications with alcohol and I'm
not going to sit here and lista million bad decisions that you
could make.
But what happens when you drinkis we don't think about the
consequences of what couldhappen later on down the line.
It's all in the moment and wejust want to feel good now.
(03:52):
So, for example, with drinkdriving, people just want to be
in their own environment and getthemselves home.
They don't want to pull outtheir phone, get a taxi, go and
pick the car up the next day,which is obviously the right
thing to do.
But when people are drunk inthe moment they don't think this
far ahead and listen.
When it comes to risk-takingbehavior, sometimes I don't
think I should be a lie.
I try to keep this channelrelatable.
I try to keep it on topic onalcohol, but when I was drinking
(04:14):
, when I was growing up, I madesome of the most ridiculous life
choices ever Going out drinkingwith criminals, with people
that have just got out of jailwhen I was 18.
Drink driving completelyblackout, drunk at three in the
morning.
See, this is the thing is thateven though I was 16, I was
still drinking like a lunatic.
When I drank, I drank.
I remember I was 16 and I had a50cc scooter like a moped.
(04:34):
I don't know if other countriesdo that.
It's like a thing in Englandwhen you're 16, you're allowed a
moped, 17, you're allowed todrive.
So when I was 16, I was gettingthe moped, I remember driving
it home, so drunk I walked inthe door.
It was like two put myself insome incredibly, incredibly
(04:55):
dangerous situations.
Now the thing is is when Ireflect and look back at this
stuff, I think what was Ithinking?
But once I've got a few drinksin me, those thoughts disappear.
I'm not thinking about theconsequences of anything.
And if you're starting to seethis in your own life maybe not
as extreme as my examples, butif you're starting to see it it
is a sign because guess what?
Maybe one day you're a littlebit over the limit, you get
pulled over, you've lost yourlicense for a year.
(05:17):
Maybe one day you're over thelimit, kid runs out in front of
you.
You don't know, accidents canhappen and I've met people, I've
spoke to people, who have hadtheir lives turned around
because of this risk-takingbehavior.
Now the fourth sign is in memorygaps, and they're becoming much
more common.
So if you're regularlyexperiencing blackouts or your
memory's just not really what itused to be, this is a real,
(05:38):
real sign.
This can be a massive, massivesign that it's time to change.
The scary thing for me was thisstarted happening even if I
didn't drink too much.
Sure, if I went out and drank10 pints, I'm probably going to
black out, especially if I wasdrinking on an empty stomach.
But then there would be timeswhere I might drink three to
four pints and still have thesemassive lapses in my memory and
that got scary and I've had somepretty scary blackouts and I
(06:01):
can actually still remember thefeeling of waking up and not
having any recollection, ofgetting home having no idea what
happened.
You know I've had some prettyscary blackouts in some pretty
nasty areas.
The thing is is I'd love totell you more about my blackouts
but, to be frank, I can'tremember.
And that's the scary thing.
Maybe I said something to thewrong person that night.
I don't know, but theconsequence of a blackout can be
(06:22):
so severe it can end in death.
You just don't know.
The fifth sign is in a decliningphysical health.
This is when you might havethings like unexpected digestive
issues, weight gain.
Your blood work might not lookgreat.
You might get some bad resultswith your liver.
If you ever get blood work done, you might be getting headaches
.
If you're starting to seephysical health scares, this is
(06:43):
one of the biggest signs of all.
What happened to me was the moreI drank, the more I could feel
it in my health.
Now, if you have drank for along time, you'll know what I'm
talking about.
If you've never really drank alot, you won't kind of get this.
But I felt unhealthy.
The more I drank, the worse I'dfeel.
I could just feel like I waspoisoning every cell of my body,
which I was, but I could reallyfeel it.
I could feel the shakes andit's really hard to describe,
(07:05):
it's really hard to put it intowords, but I just knew I was
battering my body, I was beatingit and when I'd wake up with a
hangover it's like I could feelit all rattling around in my
brain.
But then I've also had specificthings that have happened, like
I once threw up blood on acomputer after a night out,
scared the life out of me.
Actually, that scared me intostopping drinking for like six
months.
When I was drinking, I startedputting on weight.
(07:26):
The physical signs were veryapparent.
That's happening to you.
Another sign, the sixth sign, isin prioritizing drinking
occasions.
So this is when you startplanning your schedule or
planning activities around whenyou can and can't drink, and
also thinking about the recovery, so what days and what nights
you can drink more than usual.
If you're starting to thinklike this, it's not normal and
(07:47):
I'm not again, I'm not trying tobelittle you, I've done this.
But I'll give you an example.
If I went out with somebodythat didn't really drink a lot,
let's say, I'm just going tocatch up with a friend.
We're going to have a dinner.
They might have one drink.
I have two drinks.
Afterwards I'd have a plan inmy head of where I'm going to go
(08:07):
next, because I know that thatI wanted to spend time with were
drinkers, and if you didn'tdrink, I didn't really see a
point of spending that much timewith you.
So instead of doing somethinggood for myself, like I don't
know going to a gym, spendingtime with my family, I'd always
want to prioritize my drinking.
Now, the seventh sign is in thestrain that happens in your
relationships.
Now this is when friends,family, loved ones, maybe
(08:32):
children, spouses they'restarting to express a concern
and you can see that it'sstraining your relationships.
Now this is big.
When this used to happen when Idrank, I would immediately get
defensive oh, it's not that bad,I can stop anytime.
It's just not that bad.
I don't drink that much.
It's not like I'm drinkingvodka in the morning.
It's not like I'm like thatperson, like this person.
It's not that bad.
And I was in denial.
And when people are continuallycoming up to me and expressing
(08:52):
concern and I keep just brushingthem off, what do you think
happens?
People got sick of it.
My mum has been to AA for over20 years.
That's how she got sober.
It wasn't how I got sober, butthat's worked for her that
program and when I used to drink, she knew that I was drinking
pretty heavily.
So imagine the fear.
Imagine how terrified she wouldhave been.
Alcohol has destroyed romanticrelationships.
For me, it's destroyedfriendships, and listen, I'm so
(09:15):
grateful that I stopped drinkingsix years ago because this was
only getting worse.
A big thing in my relationshipsis I'm 32 years of age but I
have an 18-year-old brother.
We have a huge age differenceNow.
When I was drinking he was alot younger, but now that I'm
older, I want to set a goodexample to people around me,
especially the younger ones.
I don't want people coming upto me that love me, that are
worried, sick about my drinking.
(09:35):
Anyway, this actually touchesmy heart.
This, like that, was a bigthing for me and a big motivator
to stop.
But if your relationships arestraining, maybe it's time.
The eighth sign is when youstart losing interest in other
things.
This is when hobbies that youmight used to have had just
start taking a backseat to thedrinking.
Maybe in the past you enjoyedsport, skiing, maybe playing an
(09:55):
instrument, maybe reading, andthese days you just either don't
seem to find the time or you'vejust kind of lost interest in
those things altogether.
They don't give you thepleasure that they once used to.
The only thing that seems togive you pleasure is alcohol.
Honestly, when I was drinkingalcohol, I don't think I had a
single hobby.
I used to think of my hobby asdrinking alcohol.
(10:16):
Listen, that's not a hobby.
There's nothing fun about doingthis.
How is this a hobby?
It's ludicrous.
It's not a hobby.
It's drug addiction and there'sno other way to put it.
The ninth sign is in thefinancial impact.
So if you're spending anincreased amount of money on
alcohol or it's causing a lossof productivity, this is huge.
Think about the average drinkerthey're spending $150,000,
$200,000 on alcohol over thecourse of a lifetime.
(10:36):
But the problem is is that whenpeople get older, they usually
have more disposable income, sothey end up drinking more and
spending more drinking inrestaurants, and it just goes up
and up and up.
And another big thing is theloss of productivity, especially
if you've got a business or acareer where there are
promotions, there are clientsthat you might be missing out on
, and this can be huge.
Now, I think one of the problemsis when we drink we're so
(10:56):
focused on the moment andfeeling good that in the moment
we don't really care.
We order some things on Amazonafter a few drinks, whatever we
buy a round for a bunch ofstrangers in a bar.
Who cares?
I mean, I've done that a bunchof times.
But when you do finally stop,that's when you'll see not only
the gain in the money that yousaved, but the lost potential of
(11:17):
spending all that time drinking.
You are capable of so much more.
And the 10th and final sign isin withdrawal symptoms.
If you're experiencingshakiness, anxiety, irritability
when you're not drinking, thenthis is one of the telltale
signs that you are actuallydrunk.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
(11:46):
wwwsoberclearcom.
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