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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
The word alcoholic is a prettyscary word, but does it mean
that you need to be waking up inthe morning and opening a can
of beer or, as soon as you openyour eyes, drinking a shot and
pouring vodka on your cornflakes?
No, it doesn't.
And today I want to break downfive shocking traits of an
alcoholic, because when I drankfor 10 years, I used to wonder
am I an alcoholic?
Is that why I can't stopdrinking?
(00:42):
Well, I'm going to give you amessage in this video today that
you might not expect, but youdefinitely want to watch all
five signs, because I'm going tobe sharing personal things that
happened in my own life,because I don't want you to feel
like you're alone in this.
But if you notice any of thesesigns, it might be time for you
to start questioning your ownrelationship with alcohol.
So, before we get into the fiveshocking traits, I want to make
one thing very, very clear theterm alcoholic is a made-up
(01:04):
self-help term.
It comes from AlcoholicsAnonymous.
No credible doctor will sit youdown and say you're an
alcoholic.
It will never happen.
It's not the correct medicaldiagnosis.
We now call it alcohol usedisorder.
So I know I'm going to talkabout the five shocking traits
of an alcoholic, but despite mehaving a drinking problem for 10
years and despite me going toAlcoholics Anonymous thinking I
was an alcoholic, I found a pathto stop drinking alcohol
(01:25):
without giving myself this label.
So while the title of the videosaid alcoholic, I really wanted
to give you a tiny bit ofeducation on this term and why I
don't recommend using it.
So when we tell ourselves thatwe're alcoholics, we're giving
ourselves this label that has noknown cure.
We have it for the rest of ourlife and we have it whether we
drink or we don't.
And in fact, there's evenpeople that think that we're
alcoholics before we even drinkalcohol, which is absurd.
(01:48):
And the problem with givingyourself this label is that if
you were to ever relapse and youbuy into this idea that you are
an alcoholic, what do you thinkhappens?
Well, I'll tell you in my ownlife, when I thought I was an
alcoholic and I ended updrinking again.
I went nuts See nowadays.
Since stopping drinking justunder seven years ago, I gave
myself no labels.
I stopped seeing myself as theproblem and I started seeing
(02:08):
alcohol as the problem.
So I fixed my perception ofalcohol and then that was it.
I moved on with my life.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying I didn't have adrinking problem.
In society's eyes, they'dprobably call me an alcoholic,
which is why I still wanted tomake this video to unpack these
five shocking traits.
So, whilst the title of thisvideo said alcoholic, let's call
it somebody with an alcoholproblem, not somebody who is an
(02:29):
alcoholic, somebody with aproblem with alcohol.
Let's break the two apart.
Let's not see ourselves as theproblem.
Let's see the drug as theproblem.
But anyway, let's get into thefirst shocking trait.
The first shocking trait is howwe can often prioritize drinking
over other activities.
And as well as drinking, wecould also group hangovers into
there, because I know for me abig one was skipping the gym.
I'd wake up with a hangover andI'd be like not a chance, I'm
(02:51):
going to go and lift weightstoday, but this one is huge.
People that drink a little bityou know these normal drinkers.
They don't prioritise drinkingover other activities.
But I was a nightmare at this.
People might invite me to aplace to do something and I
wasn't thinking about whether ornot I'd have a good time.
I was thinking how am I goingto be able to drink?
When I was studying for mydegree, I would often go out
(03:13):
instead of doing my work.
And sure you could argue that Iwas a student, but I was an
older student.
I went to university a lotlater and my drinking was just
nuts.
But maybe for you, you're alsoprioritizing drinking over other
activities.
Maybe you're skipping sportingevents with the children, maybe
you're skipping workouts, butwhen we start to prioritize
drinking over other things, itis a sign that we probably have
(03:34):
a problem.
The second one and this is hugeis that I'd always, almost
always, drink more than Iintended to, and when I say
almost always, I mean eight,nine times out of ten.
See, most times that I drank, Iwould always tell myself right,
I'm only going to have a fewtonight and see how it goes.
I never intended to get drunk.
It was so rare that I said,right, tonight I'm sending it.
I never would go and buy like abottle of vodka or anything
(03:54):
like that.
I'd buy like two beers in a barand then that would be it.
It would be like I'm out ofhere, I'm getting smashed, and
this happened to me all the time.
I always intended to drink alittle bit and then I'd always
drink more, and that usuallymeans you're pretty deep in
addiction.
I'm not saying you're analcoholic, I'm just saying
you're probably further along inyour addiction than everybody
else.
And if you're doing thisregularly, it is a sign that
(04:15):
things aren't going to getbetter.
Listen, I'm not trying tocriticize you or upset you, but
it's very rare that somebodydrinks less over time.
So if you're doing thisregularly, guess where it's
going.
Well, it's not going to lookpretty because it's kind of like
this exponential thing.
You know, in our 20s we cankind of have it under control,
and then in our 30s it goes up,and 40s it goes up until we get
to a place of like, whoa, howdid I start drinking this much?
(04:37):
I've spoke to dozens of retiredpeople who are about to retire.
They're drinking and they'relike wait a minute, I'm going to
be retired and still drinkingthis crap.
I have it all the time.
So just know that if you'redrinking more than you want to
regularly, it's a sign.
It's a sign that you shouldprobably do something about it.
The third one and this oneshowed up in my life pretty much
all the time is that any socialevent that I went to, I would
(04:59):
always consider how am I goingto drink?
And I'd consider who else wasthere that I could drink with.
If somebody that I knew invitedme to something and I knew they
didn't drink and it was social,I'd just be thinking why would
I want to hang out with you?
And that's really sad lookingback, but I'd often prioritize
my relationships with peoplethat drank over those that
didn't drink.
So, even though I went to thegym when I was drinking alcohol,
(05:20):
if I met somebody that wasreally healthy and really into
that lifestyle and like Leon, doyou want to train with me?
I might go once or twice andthen realize, mate, this guy
doesn't go out.
What am I going to do with himon a Friday night?
I don't really want to be hisfriend.
It's sad, and actually thinkback to the relationships that I
could have built when I drank.
There were probably a lot ofgood people that I just
disregarded because I knew Icouldn't drink with them.
And I do this all the time Ithink are we going to drink?
(05:41):
Where are we going to go?
Are we going to go to thisrestaurant that serves alcohol,
are we not?
And I'd always be consideringit, and it was this constant
battle in my head of how am Igoing to drink.
And I'm so happy now that I'venot drank for almost seven years
that those thoughts don't gointo my head ever.
And these days I buildrelationships with people based
on who they are and mutualinterests instead of mutual drug
addiction that we both shared.
(06:02):
So if you're regularly thinkingabout socializing and then
thinking how is alcohol going tobe there, then I'm sorry, but
it's another sign.
Now the fourth trait, which isanother massive one.
In fact they're all big ones.
But the fourth thing is thatyou're regularly having failed
attempts to stop drinking.
So what I mean is that youreally tell yourself, right, I'm
going to stop, and then youdon't, and then you drink again.
(06:24):
And there's two kind of areashere.
There's one area is when youreally commit to actually
stopping forever and then youfail.
But then there's the other areaof saying you're going to stop
for a month and then onlymanaging three or four days, or
a week or two weeks.
You basically make a promise toyourself and then break it.
And why is this a problem?
Well, if I told you right nowthat you could only eat oranges
after one month, what's thechance of you succeeding at that
(06:46):
?
It's pretty much 100%.
But we need to remember thatalcohol is a drug.
It's a highly addictive drugand the reason why we fail at
these commitments is becausewe're addicted to a drug.
If I said you couldn't go in aswimming pool for a month, would
you be bothered?
Absolutely not.
But alcohol is a differentbeast, it's a drug.
So if you're regularly failingto stop drinking alcohol, guess
what?
I hate to break it to you, butthere is some level of addiction
(07:09):
there.
I made a decision I don't knowwhen I made this decision, but
it's in my heart that I'll neversmoke crack cocaine.
And I've stuck with thatdecision up until this point and
I'm going to stick with it forthe rest of my life.
And the reason why I'm able tostick with that decision is
because I'm not addicted tocrack cocaine.
So when we're making thesecommitments to ourselves and
we're failing probably means wehave a problem, which leads me
to the fifth and the mostimportant trait of all.
(07:30):
The contrast between sobrietyand drinking are extreme.
See, if you stop drinkingalcohol and you go a month and
your life is so much better.
You're feeling better, yourenergy is better, your
relationships are better, you'regetting ideas, you're getting
clarity, you're like, oh my gosh, I can take over the world.
If you feel that way after notdrinking for a period of time,
oh my gosh, that is a sign,because it's just evidence that
(07:50):
alcohol is slowing you down andholding you back.
I've got some clients in myprogram that are incredibly
successful $100 millioncompanies and they say to me
they say, Leon, when I'mdrinking I'm a different beast.
I'm making all this money, I'mraising money, I'm hiring people
, and then when I drink, it'snot the same.
I feel like a completelydifferent person.
I do feel better today, at 42,than I ever have in my entire
(08:13):
life, and that includes my 20s.
I can think so much faster andmore clearly to get things done
efficiently, so I can take on somuch more, got a lot of focus.
I think I've added five or sixnew people into the business.
Nice, prioritize my family, mymom, and it was honestly top
(08:34):
five best things I've done in mylife, without a doubt.
I wouldn't go back and doanything else.
The results that I've seen justin life physical, mentally yeah
, it's been fantastic.
So I started following theprogram eight days total, from
start to finish, and I was done.
Now my life is completelydifferent.
I feel like a completelydifferent person.
Now that that is gone, I haveno problem.
(08:54):
Projects are going way faster,a lot less mistakes, better
relationships with the clients.
It's just flourishing man,because this one, this idea,
this fifth and final trait itdoesn't matter how successful
you are If you can see thatsevere contrast probably means
you have a drinking problem.
But you want to know the honesttruth.
Most people will feel this way.
Almost all people that drinkalcohol will feel this way,
(09:15):
because drinking alcohol givesyou absolutely nothing.
All it does is hurt and takethings away from you.
So literally any person thatdoesn't drink alcohol is going
to have a better quality of life, regardless of whether they
drink one glass of wine a nightor two bottles of wine a night.
But if you want to perform atyour peak and be at your best,
drinking alcohol is the dumbestthing ever.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
(09:37):
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
The word alcoholic is a prettyscary word, but does it mean
that you need to be waking up inthe morning and opening a can
of beer or, as soon as you openyour eyes, drinking a shot and
pouring vodka on your cornflakes?
No, it doesn't.
And today I want to break downfive shocking traits of an
alcoholic, because when I drankfor 10 years, I used to wonder
am I an alcoholic?
Is that why I can't stopdrinking?
(00:42):
Well, I'm going to give you amessage in this video today that
you might not expect, but youdefinitely want to watch all
five signs, because I'm going tobe sharing personal things that
happened in my own life,because I don't want you to feel
like you're alone in this.
But if you notice any of thesesigns, it might be time for you
to start questioning your ownrelationship with alcohol.
So, before we get into the fiveshocking traits, I want to make
one thing very, very clear theterm alcoholic is a made-up
(01:04):
self-help term.
It comes from AlcoholicsAnonymous.
No credible doctor will sit youdown and say you're an
alcoholic.
It will never happen.
It's not the correct medicaldiagnosis.
We now call it alcohol usedisorder.
So I know I'm going to talkabout the five shocking traits
of an alcoholic, but despite mehaving a drinking problem for 10
years and despite me going toAlcoholics Anonymous thinking I
was an alcoholic, I found a pathto stop drinking alcohol
(01:25):
without giving myself this label.
So while the title of the videosaid alcoholic, I really wanted
to give you a tiny bit ofeducation on this term and why I
don't recommend using it.
So when we tell ourselves thatwe're alcoholics, we're giving
ourselves this label that has noknown cure.
We have it for the rest of ourlife and we have it whether we
drink or we don't.
And in fact, there's evenpeople that think that we're
alcoholics before we even drinkalcohol, which is absurd.
(01:48):
And the problem with givingyourself this label is that if
you were to ever relapse and youbuy into this idea that you are
an alcoholic, what do you thinkhappens?
Well, I'll tell you in my ownlife, when I thought I was an
alcoholic and I ended updrinking again.
I went nuts See nowadays.
Since stopping drinking justunder seven years ago, I gave
myself no labels.
I stopped seeing myself as theproblem and I started seeing
(02:08):
alcohol as the problem.
So I fixed my perception ofalcohol and then that was it.
I moved on with my life.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying I didn't have adrinking problem.
In society's eyes, they'dprobably call me an alcoholic,
which is why I still wanted tomake this video to unpack these
five shocking traits.
So, whilst the title of thisvideo said alcoholic, let's call
it somebody with an alcoholproblem, not somebody who is an
(02:29):
alcoholic, somebody with aproblem with alcohol.
Let's break the two apart.
Let's not see ourselves as theproblem.
Let's see the drug as theproblem.
But anyway, let's get into thefirst shocking trait.
The first shocking trait is howwe can often prioritize drinking
over other activities.
And as well as drinking, wecould also group hangovers into
there, because I know for me abig one was skipping the gym.
I'd wake up with a hangover andI'd be like not a chance, I'm
(02:51):
going to go and lift weightstoday, but this one is huge.
People that drink a little bityou know these normal drinkers.
They don't prioritise drinkingover other activities.
But I was a nightmare at this.
People might invite me to aplace to do something and I
wasn't thinking about whether ornot I'd have a good time.
I was thinking how am I goingto be able to drink?
When I was studying for mydegree, I would often go out
(03:13):
instead of doing my work.
And sure you could argue that Iwas a student, but I was an
older student.
I went to university a lotlater and my drinking was just
nuts.
But maybe for you, you're alsoprioritizing drinking over other
activities.
Maybe you're skipping sportingevents with the children, maybe
you're skipping workouts, butwhen we start to prioritize
drinking over other things, itis a sign that we probably have
(03:34):
a problem.
The second one and this is hugeis that I'd always, almost
always, drink more than Iintended to, and when I say
almost always, I mean eight,nine times out of ten.
See, most times that I drank, Iwould always tell myself right,
I'm only going to have a fewtonight and see how it goes.
I never intended to get drunk.
It was so rare that I said,right, tonight I'm sending it.
I never would go and buy like abottle of vodka or anything
(03:54):
like that.
I'd buy like two beers in a barand then that would be it.
It would be like I'm out ofhere, I'm getting smashed, and
this happened to me all the time.
I always intended to drink alittle bit and then I'd always
drink more, and that usuallymeans you're pretty deep in
addiction.
I'm not saying you're analcoholic, I'm just saying
you're probably further along inyour addiction than everybody
else.
And if you're doing thisregularly, it is a sign that
(04:15):
things aren't going to getbetter.
Listen, I'm not trying tocriticize you or upset you, but
it's very rare that somebodydrinks less over time.
So if you're doing thisregularly, guess where it's
going.
Well, it's not going to lookpretty because it's kind of like
this exponential thing.
You know, in our 20s we cankind of have it under control,
and then in our 30s it goes up,and 40s it goes up until we get
to a place of like, whoa, howdid I start drinking this much?
(04:37):
I've spoke to dozens of retiredpeople who are about to retire.
They're drinking and they'relike wait a minute, I'm going to
be retired and still drinkingthis crap.
I have it all the time.
So just know that if you'redrinking more than you want to
regularly, it's a sign.
It's a sign that you shouldprobably do something about it.
The third one and this oneshowed up in my life pretty much
all the time is that any socialevent that I went to, I would
(04:59):
always consider how am I goingto drink?
And I'd consider who else wasthere that I could drink with.
If somebody that I knew invitedme to something and I knew they
didn't drink and it was social,I'd just be thinking why would
I want to hang out with you?
And that's really sad lookingback, but I'd often prioritize
my relationships with peoplethat drank over those that
didn't drink.
So, even though I went to thegym when I was drinking alcohol,
(05:20):
if I met somebody that wasreally healthy and really into
that lifestyle and like Leon, doyou want to train with me?
I might go once or twice andthen realize, mate, this guy
doesn't go out.
What am I going to do with himon a Friday night?
I don't really want to be hisfriend.
It's sad, and actually thinkback to the relationships that I
could have built when I drank.
There were probably a lot ofgood people that I just
disregarded because I knew Icouldn't drink with them.
And I do this all the time Ithink are we going to drink?
(05:41):
Where are we going to go?
Are we going to go to thisrestaurant that serves alcohol,
are we not?
And I'd always be consideringit, and it was this constant
battle in my head of how am Igoing to drink.
And I'm so happy now that I'venot drank for almost seven years
that those thoughts don't gointo my head ever.
And these days I buildrelationships with people based
on who they are and mutualinterests instead of mutual drug
addiction that we both shared.
(06:02):
So if you're regularly thinkingabout socializing and then
thinking how is alcohol going tobe there, then I'm sorry, but
it's another sign.
Now the fourth trait, which isanother massive one.
In fact they're all big ones.
But the fourth thing is thatyou're regularly having failed
attempts to stop drinking.
So what I mean is that youreally tell yourself, right, I'm
going to stop, and then youdon't, and then you drink again.
(06:24):
And there's two kind of areashere.
There's one area is when youreally commit to actually
stopping forever and then youfail.
But then there's the other areaof saying you're going to stop
for a month and then onlymanaging three or four days, or
a week or two weeks.
You basically make a promise toyourself and then break it.
And why is this a problem?
Well, if I told you right nowthat you could only eat oranges
after one month, what's thechance of you succeeding at that
(06:46):
?
It's pretty much 100%.
But we need to remember thatalcohol is a drug.
It's a highly addictive drugand the reason why we fail at
these commitments is becausewe're addicted to a drug.
If I said you couldn't go in aswimming pool for a month, would
you be bothered?
Absolutely not.
But alcohol is a differentbeast, it's a drug.
So if you're regularly failingto stop drinking alcohol, guess
what?
I hate to break it to you, butthere is some level of addiction
(07:09):
there.
I made a decision I don't knowwhen I made this decision, but
it's in my heart that I'll neversmoke crack cocaine.
And I've stuck with thatdecision up until this point and
I'm going to stick with it forthe rest of my life.
And the reason why I'm able tostick with that decision is
because I'm not addicted tocrack cocaine.
So when we're making thesecommitments to ourselves and
we're failing probably means wehave a problem, which leads me
to the fifth and the mostimportant trait of all.
(07:30):
The contrast between sobrietyand drinking are extreme.
See, if you stop drinkingalcohol and you go a month and
your life is so much better.
You're feeling better, yourenergy is better, your
relationships are better, you'regetting ideas, you're getting
clarity, you're like, oh my gosh, I can take over the world.
If you feel that way after notdrinking for a period of time,
oh my gosh, that is a sign,because it's just evidence that
(07:50):
alcohol is slowing you down andholding you back.
I've got some clients in myprogram that are incredibly
successful $100 millioncompanies and they say to me
they say, Leon, when I'mdrinking I'm a different beast.
I'm making all this money, I'mraising money, I'm hiring people
, and then when I drink, it'snot the same.
I feel like a completelydifferent person.
I do feel better today, at 42,than I ever have in my entire
(08:13):
life, and that includes my 20s.
I can think so much faster andmore clearly to get things done
efficiently, so I can take on somuch more, got a lot of focus.
I think I've added five or sixnew people into the business.
Nice, prioritize my family, mymom, and it was honestly top
(08:34):
five best things I've done in mylife, without a doubt.
I wouldn't go back and doanything else.
The results that I've seen justin life physical, mentally yeah
, it's been fantastic.
So I started following theprogram eight days total, from
start to finish, and I was done.
Now my life is completelydifferent.
I feel like a completelydifferent person.
Now that that is gone, I haveno problem.
(08:54):
Projects are going way faster,a lot less mistakes, better
relationships with the clients.
It's just flourishing man,because this one, this idea,
this fifth and final trait itdoesn't matter how successful
you are If you can see thatsevere contrast probably means
you have a drinking problem.
But you want to know the honesttruth.
Most people will feel this way.
Almost all people that drinkalcohol will feel this way,
(09:15):
because drinking alcohol givesyou absolutely nothing.
All it does is hurt and takethings away from you.
So literally any person thatdoesn't drink alcohol is going
to have a better quality of life, regardless of whether they
drink one glass of wine a nightor two bottles of wine a night.
But if you want to perform atyour peak and be at your best,
drinking alcohol is the dumbestthing ever.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
(09:37):
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
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