November 17, 2025 • 15 mins
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical, and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, tools,and strategies to start living
your best life when alcoholfree.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to www.soberclear.com.
(00:22):
When I stopped drinking alcoholseven years ago, I knew for sure
that life would get better.
After drinking for close to 10years, it was impossible for it
not to.
I knew I'd sleep better, I'dhave more clarity, I'd have more
energy, and I'd just feel moreconfident and positive about the
future.
And very quickly, when I stoppeddrinking, within a few weeks,
those benefits all startedmaterializing.
(00:42):
What I didn't realize is justhow huge the benefits would be.
And there have really been fivemoments that have stood out to
me on this journey of notdrinking for seven years,
because all of these five thingswere evidence that that decision
was paying off better than anydecision I could make.
Stopping drinking alcohol wasthe number one decision I've
made in my entire life becauseit's the gift that keeps on
(01:03):
giving.
I heard a great quote, and itwas sobriety delivers what
alcohol promises.
It's pretty deep, but it's true.
If we've not met yet, my name isLeon Sylvester.
I'm the founder ofSoberclear.com.
We work with business owners andprofessionals, and we help them
get control of their drinkingwith a scientifically validated
approach.
The system that we use, theSoberclear system, has been
(01:24):
validated by an academicpsychologist.
There's a scientific report thatyou can find on Google Scholar
that shows how we get a 96%client-rated success rate, and
we've had people get results inas little as 24 hours.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn'talways happen.
Usually people take three, four,five, six, maybe seven days.
But if you want information onhow we can help you stop
drinking alcohol without AA andtherapy and willpower, if you
(01:47):
click the link in thedescription, there'll be a short
video to watch.
And then once you've watchedthat video, you'll be able to
apply to join the program.
And then me or a member of myteam will jump on a short call
with you to really just figureout if it's a good fit.
So if you want information onthat, click the link down below
and let's get into the veryfirst thing.
Now, this is literally what thefoundation of my entire journey
of not drinking for seven yearsis built upon.
(02:07):
And I'll explain why in asecond.
But when I struggled to stopdrinking alcohol for close to 10
years, I was trying so manythings.
I read dozens of stop drinkingbooks, I, you know, tried going
to AA meetings, I read the bigbook, I got a sponsor, I did the
step work, I tried going thereligious approach where I went
to church, I fought the urgewith willpower, moderation
attempts, you name it, andnothing worked.
(02:28):
Now, these things, theysometimes helped.
Sometimes I could stop drinkingfor a month, sometimes six
months, but something wouldalways pull me back.
However, what changed sevenyears ago is I actually made a
decision.
What I didn't do was try andstop.
What I didn't do was tell myselfI'm just gonna stop for 30 days.
I didn't do anything like that.
Neither did I call myself analcoholic or need to pray to get
(02:50):
through the cravings.
What I did instead is I decidedto stop.
And it was, I'm not even joking,it was the flick of a switch,
and I knew without a shadow of adoubt that I was never going to
drink again.
And that might sound crazy, thatmight sound scary.
I'm not saying you need to dothat right this minute, but I
felt free.
For the first time ever, I feltpure freedom.
I just felt like it's done.
(03:12):
Like it was this huge wave ofrelief, just it's over.
I am free.
And it was the best feelingever.
Now, at the time, I didn'trealize just how much power that
decision would have, becausewhat happened next is that
decision led into otherdecisions.
And what I mean is that ifyou've drank alcohol for a long
time and you've tried to stopand failed, what you're actually
(03:33):
doing here is you're tellingyourself that when you commit to
something, half-heartedly, youfail.
And that spills into every areaof your life.
If you tell yourself you're notgonna drink and then three days
later you're drinking, howcommitted will you be in the
gym?
How committed will you be withyour family?
What about your business, yourcareer?
And you might be that personthat's thinking, ah Leon, my
career is fine.
But how's your health?
(03:53):
How are your family?
See, when you drink alcohol andyou break those promises to
yourself, it affects your entirelife.
But when I stopped drinking andI made a true decision, the
conviction I had for every areaof my life was amplified by
10,000.
I'm not exaggerating.
I immediately got back to thegym and I knew that I could get
back in shape.
I immediately started a personaltraining business and I knew I
(04:14):
could build it.
And then what happened is Istarted going in the right
direction and it was working.
But what I did is that samelevel of conviction I had in my
decision to not drink was what Idid with my health, right?
With my career and my business.
And then once I'd got a bit ofmomentum with my personal
training business, I said, well,hang on, why don't I just take a
bigger step?
And what I did is I booked aone-way flight to Thailand.
(04:37):
I moved to Asia because I hadsomething that I didn't have
when I was drinking.
I had belief in myself on levelsthat I'd never had before.
See, I'd always wanted a betterquality of life when I was
drinking, but the relationship Ihad with myself was pretty
average.
But this was the first bigmoment.
It was making that decision.
The decision that I'd beenscared to make for so long, I
(04:57):
just made it.
It all happened because I'drebuilt a paradigm where I
started to see alcohol for whatit was, but it was the best
feeling ever.
And if you can just make thatdecision as well, I promise you
one thing, it'll be the bestthing you've ever done.
So, the second thing thathappened, and a quick precursor
here, but you'll see how all ofthese things are 100% related to
(05:17):
you and your journey at the endof the video.
I'm not trying to boast, I'm nottrying to like show off.
All I'm doing is giving you ataste of what's to come.
But what happened in my journeyis I stopped drinking alcohol
and I went a full year.
I didn't think about it, therewas no problems at all, and just
everything was going in theright direction.
I felt like things were linear.
I felt like things were justprogressing the way I wanted
(05:38):
them to, rather than just beingon this never-ending roller
coaster.
Now, long story short, is Istarted sharing my journey on
the internet.
I talked about being one yearsober, and the video got 5,000
views and hundreds of comments,and people loved the message.
And at first, I didn't thinkmuch of it, but as I made
another video talking about myexperience, again it had such a
positive response.
(05:59):
And it felt like a calling.
I felt like there was a problemhere that I'd fix that I could
help other people solve.
So I started trying to helppeople.
And at first, I had no idea whatI was doing.
I was talking to people, I wasasking them what they were
doing, what they tried, what'sworked, what hasn't.
And after a while, I had thisgroup on Facebook where I maybe
had a hundred people in there,and I said, all right, I'm gonna
(06:19):
create something that people canwatch and hopefully they get the
same mindset shift that I had.
So I built a course.
It was two hours long, it hadspelling mistakes.
I did it as fast as I couldbecause I just wanted to see if
I could create something thatgenuinely helped people.
Now, what happened next blew mymind.
I gave it to 50 people and all50 people stopped drinking.
(06:39):
Now I'm joking.
It wasn't that easy, right?
I gave it away and nobodywatched it.
And I'm thinking, man, what am Igonna do with my life?
But then a few weeks passed andsomebody sent me a message.
And technically, without thisman sending me this message, the
program that I have today, thecompany I've built, would never
have happened.
Who knows what I'd be doingright now?
I might be a window cleaner.
I don't know.
(07:00):
But somebody stopped drinking.
They watched this two-hour videotraining, and that was it.
And I remember getting thisthing from him, and he's like,
whatever you want, I'll do atestimonial, a video, I'll put
my name on it.
I don't care.
And this moment, it was like arush.
I was like, oh my gosh.
I remember showing my now wife,and I said, Look, it's this
guy's made a video.
He's not drinking and he doesn'twant to.
(07:21):
He's had the exact same mindsetshift that I've had, and he's
had the conviction to decide.
And that was the start of soberclear, of you know, helping
hundreds of people now stopdrinking alcohol, making the
largest free resource on theinternet, helping people stop
drinking, this YouTube channel.
But that moment just changedeverything because something
shifted inside.
I knew that I had something thatother people needed, and I knew
(07:45):
that it would change their life.
And this is why I've been ableto make so many videos now.
Because I know that when peopleare ready and they want to
change, the approach that I'vegot for them works.
And that shift was massive.
And again, at the end of thevideo, I'm going to explain what
was actually going on in my mindduring each of these shifts.
Because when you actuallyunderstand the internal shift
that was happening, you'll seewhat I'm talking about.
(08:08):
But this brings me to the thirdbig moment.
And I'm not gonna lie, the nextthree things, they may come
across as boastful, but trustme, they're not.
They're just things that I'veexperienced that have happened
in my life.
To be honest, I didn't know I'dshare some of these because they
are personal, but it doesn'treally matter.
But the third big moment thathappened is I met my girlfriend,
who is now my wife.
So my wife is Thai.
She comes from a place inbetween Bangkok and Chiang Mai,
(08:30):
kind of in the north ofThailand.
And her family have arestaurant.
Her mum does big catering forhundreds of people.
And my wife's mum had built herown house.
And she'd had a mortgage for it,she'd built it, you know, it's a
beautiful home.
And around this time, this waswhen I turned my financial life
around.
When I was drinking, I was infinancial ruin.
I was borrowing money off myfamily.
(08:50):
My finances, they weren'tlooking good.
But by this point, the coachingbusiness was taking off.
Me and Or, we were in a seriousrelationship now.
It looked like we were gonnastay together for a very long
time.
So, one thing that we did is mymother-in-law, what we did is we
withdrew a lot of money and wepaid off her final mortgage
payment.
And we got it as cash, we hadthis wad of money, and we gifted
(09:13):
it to my mother-in-law, and wedid it in front of my wife's
grandparents.
And listen, this was one of themost fulfilling things I'd ever
done.
Just a few years ago, all I wasthinking about was me and my
drinking, and how can I get thenext drink, and you know, I
didn't care about anybody else.
I was selfish.
I put me first, my drinking camefirst, and I don't really care.
(09:34):
And to do something like this,it was a little bit out of
character to who I used to be.
But I was changing, I wasgrowing.
And I remember doing this, andagain, there was another shift.
And I'll come back to the shiftsin a minute at the end of the
video.
But doing this just solidifiedthings.
It was such a good feeling doingthat and doing something for
somebody else where you don'tget anything in return for it.
You're just giving freely, andit was such a good feeling.
(09:56):
And I didn't honestly think I'dever tell anybody about this.
I did this years ago now, so youknow, I wasn't doing it to go
and tell people one day, butit's a beautiful thing that
happened, and I wanted to shareit with you.
So let's get into the fourthmoment.
When I drank alcohol, I'm 33years of age, but I have a
younger brother who's 19.
We have a huge age gap.
He's actually a differentfather, same mother.
(10:16):
And I remember even when I wasdrinking alcohol, my brother was
very young, because I was in my20s, and I remember writing
things down like, you know, whydo I want to stop drinking?
And I'd write about my brotherand the example I want to set to
him, and then I'd drink again.
And the cycle would repeat.
But having a younger person inthe family was helpful because
you kind of have to set anexample.
Now, don't get me wrong, Ididn't set a great example for a
(10:37):
lot of his life, but now he'solder and he understands alcohol
and these problems.
I am setting a good example.
Or at least I think I am, andit's a lot better than it was.
Now, one amazing thing that'shappened with my brother is he
had a bit of a tough timegrowing up.
I'll keep this short because Idon't want to embarrass him, but
he went from kind of going downthe wrong direction, mixing with
(10:58):
the wrong crowd, and just beingnaughty, and you could kind of
see where that life path wasgoing.
He'd tell me stories and I'd I'dalmost get a little bit scared.
I'd be thinking, I just want youto come and live with me, don't
go back to England.
But over the past two years,that guy has gone through such a
huge transformation.
He's put on, you know, I don'tknow, 10, 15 kg of pure muscle.
(11:19):
He was literally about to justend college and just quit, to
getting three distinctions inhis work, which is like 4.0 GPA
or free grade A's, getting intouniversity, now studying a
marketing degree, and I'm justso proud of him.
I just can't believe he'smanaged to go from where he was
to what he's doing now.
It's amazing.
And I'm not taking any creditfor that, but I like to think
(11:42):
that, well, isn't it much betterthat I'm setting this example
for him than the example I set,you know, seven years ago.
So that's a really nice thingthat's happened.
And just knowing that I can bethere for him, if he needs
anything, I'll be there.
He came and spent two monthswith us during summer because we
wanted to reward the amazingresults that he's had and all
the effort that he's put in.
And just seeing him go touniversity, it just makes me
(12:04):
feel so good.
Now, the fifth moment and thefinal moment is that I got
married.
I became a husband.
And this only happened a fewmonths ago, it wasn't long ago.
But honestly, I didn't know Iwas gonna get married,
especially when I stoppeddrinking.
I just spent so long not eventhinking about the future
because I didn't plan ahead.
I wasn't thinking that farforward.
I was just thinking about me andmy drinking right now.
(12:26):
And getting married has beenamazing.
There's been a shift in my heartand it just feels so good.
It feels so good that this isit, we're all in for life, and
it makes me so happy.
And hopefully, hopefully my wifewill say the same.
Maybe she's got another versionof this.
I'm just kidding.
But with all of these fivethings, again, I'm not telling
you these things because I wantyou to go, wow, look at Leon,
(12:47):
because I'm sure you don't care.
But here's what's actuallyhappened.
I spent 10 years of my lifeidentifying as somebody who
drank alcohol.
There were points where Ithought I was an alcoholic, but
that was my identity.
I was either a drinker orsomebody struggling to not
drink.
But my identity, the way Iviewed myself, was as a drinker.
But all of these milestones andmoments that have happened in my
(13:09):
life were confirmation that myidentity was changing.
I went from a drinker to anon-drinker, which was the
foundation of everything.
I knew that I wasn't going todrink again, and it filled me
with so much confidence.
The next identity shift that Ihad was I started to see myself
as an entrepreneur.
When that person stoppeddrinking alcohol, I knew that I
could help other people.
(13:29):
Then, with paying off that finalpayment of my mother-in-law's
mortgage, I knew I was aprovider for my family.
I could provide them withresources to make their life
better, which was just so muchbetter than how I used to
behave.
Then, next, I became a positiveexample for my younger brother.
And then finally, I became ahusband.
And these shifts in the way thatI viewed myself are just night
(13:53):
and day different to the way Isaw myself when I drank.
See, once you stop drinkingalcohol and you're a
non-drinker, what you want to dois just move on with your life.
Solve that problem so then youcan start having identity
shifts.
So you can start seeing yourselfas something more positive.
What you don't want to do islive the rest of your life in
that non-drinker phase.
So many people out there makenot drinking alcohol their
(14:16):
number one identity.
And you want to know the truth?
How selfish.
I don't know if you noticed, butthe four big shifts that I went
through, technically, they'renothing to do with me.
They were all to do with otherpeople.
Being an entrepreneur means youbuild things for other people to
use that help them.
Being a provider means that yougive to other people.
Being a positive example meansthat somebody else benefits from
(14:36):
that.
And being married means that theperson that you're marrying gets
a huge benefit.
You know, being married is aboutserving the other person.
None of these things wereactually about me.
When you stop drinking alcohol,you get out of this selfish
phase of your life and you canstart being there for the people
that you love in ways that youjust can't imagine.
I promise you, if you stick onthis path, it'll change
(14:58):
everything.
Thanks for checking out the StopDrinking podcast by SoberClear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly,then make sure to visit
www.soberclear.com.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical, and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, tools,and strategies to start living
your best life when alcoholfree.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to www.soberclear.com.
(00:22):
When I stopped drinking alcoholseven years ago, I knew for sure
that life would get better.
After drinking for close to 10years, it was impossible for it
not to.
I knew I'd sleep better, I'dhave more clarity, I'd have more
energy, and I'd just feel moreconfident and positive about the
future.
And very quickly, when I stoppeddrinking, within a few weeks,
those benefits all startedmaterializing.
(00:42):
What I didn't realize is justhow huge the benefits would be.
And there have really been fivemoments that have stood out to
me on this journey of notdrinking for seven years,
because all of these five thingswere evidence that that decision
was paying off better than anydecision I could make.
Stopping drinking alcohol wasthe number one decision I've
made in my entire life becauseit's the gift that keeps on
(01:03):
giving.
I heard a great quote, and itwas sobriety delivers what
alcohol promises.
It's pretty deep, but it's true.
If we've not met yet, my name isLeon Sylvester.
I'm the founder ofSoberclear.com.
We work with business owners andprofessionals, and we help them
get control of their drinkingwith a scientifically validated
approach.
The system that we use, theSoberclear system, has been
(01:24):
validated by an academicpsychologist.
There's a scientific report thatyou can find on Google Scholar
that shows how we get a 96%client-rated success rate, and
we've had people get results inas little as 24 hours.
Don't get me wrong, that doesn'talways happen.
Usually people take three, four,five, six, maybe seven days.
But if you want information onhow we can help you stop
drinking alcohol without AA andtherapy and willpower, if you
(01:47):
click the link in thedescription, there'll be a short
video to watch.
And then once you've watchedthat video, you'll be able to
apply to join the program.
And then me or a member of myteam will jump on a short call
with you to really just figureout if it's a good fit.
So if you want information onthat, click the link down below
and let's get into the veryfirst thing.
Now, this is literally what thefoundation of my entire journey
of not drinking for seven yearsis built upon.
(02:07):
And I'll explain why in asecond.
But when I struggled to stopdrinking alcohol for close to 10
years, I was trying so manythings.
I read dozens of stop drinkingbooks, I, you know, tried going
to AA meetings, I read the bigbook, I got a sponsor, I did the
step work, I tried going thereligious approach where I went
to church, I fought the urgewith willpower, moderation
attempts, you name it, andnothing worked.
(02:28):
Now, these things, theysometimes helped.
Sometimes I could stop drinkingfor a month, sometimes six
months, but something wouldalways pull me back.
However, what changed sevenyears ago is I actually made a
decision.
What I didn't do was try andstop.
What I didn't do was tell myselfI'm just gonna stop for 30 days.
I didn't do anything like that.
Neither did I call myself analcoholic or need to pray to get
(02:50):
through the cravings.
What I did instead is I decidedto stop.
And it was, I'm not even joking,it was the flick of a switch,
and I knew without a shadow of adoubt that I was never going to
drink again.
And that might sound crazy, thatmight sound scary.
I'm not saying you need to dothat right this minute, but I
felt free.
For the first time ever, I feltpure freedom.
I just felt like it's done.
(03:12):
Like it was this huge wave ofrelief, just it's over.
I am free.
And it was the best feelingever.
Now, at the time, I didn'trealize just how much power that
decision would have, becausewhat happened next is that
decision led into otherdecisions.
And what I mean is that ifyou've drank alcohol for a long
time and you've tried to stopand failed, what you're actually
(03:33):
doing here is you're tellingyourself that when you commit to
something, half-heartedly, youfail.
And that spills into every areaof your life.
If you tell yourself you're notgonna drink and then three days
later you're drinking, howcommitted will you be in the
gym?
How committed will you be withyour family?
What about your business, yourcareer?
And you might be that personthat's thinking, ah Leon, my
career is fine.
But how's your health?
(03:53):
How are your family?
See, when you drink alcohol andyou break those promises to
yourself, it affects your entirelife.
But when I stopped drinking andI made a true decision, the
conviction I had for every areaof my life was amplified by
10,000.
I'm not exaggerating.
I immediately got back to thegym and I knew that I could get
back in shape.
I immediately started a personaltraining business and I knew I
(04:14):
could build it.
And then what happened is Istarted going in the right
direction and it was working.
But what I did is that samelevel of conviction I had in my
decision to not drink was what Idid with my health, right?
With my career and my business.
And then once I'd got a bit ofmomentum with my personal
training business, I said, well,hang on, why don't I just take a
bigger step?
And what I did is I booked aone-way flight to Thailand.
(04:37):
I moved to Asia because I hadsomething that I didn't have
when I was drinking.
I had belief in myself on levelsthat I'd never had before.
See, I'd always wanted a betterquality of life when I was
drinking, but the relationship Ihad with myself was pretty
average.
But this was the first bigmoment.
It was making that decision.
The decision that I'd beenscared to make for so long, I
(04:57):
just made it.
It all happened because I'drebuilt a paradigm where I
started to see alcohol for whatit was, but it was the best
feeling ever.
And if you can just make thatdecision as well, I promise you
one thing, it'll be the bestthing you've ever done.
So, the second thing thathappened, and a quick precursor
here, but you'll see how all ofthese things are 100% related to
(05:17):
you and your journey at the endof the video.
I'm not trying to boast, I'm nottrying to like show off.
All I'm doing is giving you ataste of what's to come.
But what happened in my journeyis I stopped drinking alcohol
and I went a full year.
I didn't think about it, therewas no problems at all, and just
everything was going in theright direction.
I felt like things were linear.
I felt like things were justprogressing the way I wanted
(05:38):
them to, rather than just beingon this never-ending roller
coaster.
Now, long story short, is Istarted sharing my journey on
the internet.
I talked about being one yearsober, and the video got 5,000
views and hundreds of comments,and people loved the message.
And at first, I didn't thinkmuch of it, but as I made
another video talking about myexperience, again it had such a
positive response.
(05:59):
And it felt like a calling.
I felt like there was a problemhere that I'd fix that I could
help other people solve.
So I started trying to helppeople.
And at first, I had no idea whatI was doing.
I was talking to people, I wasasking them what they were
doing, what they tried, what'sworked, what hasn't.
And after a while, I had thisgroup on Facebook where I maybe
had a hundred people in there,and I said, all right, I'm gonna
(06:19):
create something that people canwatch and hopefully they get the
same mindset shift that I had.
So I built a course.
It was two hours long, it hadspelling mistakes.
I did it as fast as I couldbecause I just wanted to see if
I could create something thatgenuinely helped people.
Now, what happened next blew mymind.
I gave it to 50 people and all50 people stopped drinking.
(06:39):
Now I'm joking.
It wasn't that easy, right?
I gave it away and nobodywatched it.
And I'm thinking, man, what am Igonna do with my life?
But then a few weeks passed andsomebody sent me a message.
And technically, without thisman sending me this message, the
program that I have today, thecompany I've built, would never
have happened.
Who knows what I'd be doingright now?
I might be a window cleaner.
I don't know.
(07:00):
But somebody stopped drinking.
They watched this two-hour videotraining, and that was it.
And I remember getting thisthing from him, and he's like,
whatever you want, I'll do atestimonial, a video, I'll put
my name on it.
I don't care.
And this moment, it was like arush.
I was like, oh my gosh.
I remember showing my now wife,and I said, Look, it's this
guy's made a video.
He's not drinking and he doesn'twant to.
(07:21):
He's had the exact same mindsetshift that I've had, and he's
had the conviction to decide.
And that was the start of soberclear, of you know, helping
hundreds of people now stopdrinking alcohol, making the
largest free resource on theinternet, helping people stop
drinking, this YouTube channel.
But that moment just changedeverything because something
shifted inside.
I knew that I had something thatother people needed, and I knew
(07:45):
that it would change their life.
And this is why I've been ableto make so many videos now.
Because I know that when peopleare ready and they want to
change, the approach that I'vegot for them works.
And that shift was massive.
And again, at the end of thevideo, I'm going to explain what
was actually going on in my mindduring each of these shifts.
Because when you actuallyunderstand the internal shift
that was happening, you'll seewhat I'm talking about.
(08:08):
But this brings me to the thirdbig moment.
And I'm not gonna lie, the nextthree things, they may come
across as boastful, but trustme, they're not.
They're just things that I'veexperienced that have happened
in my life.
To be honest, I didn't know I'dshare some of these because they
are personal, but it doesn'treally matter.
But the third big moment thathappened is I met my girlfriend,
who is now my wife.
So my wife is Thai.
She comes from a place inbetween Bangkok and Chiang Mai,
(08:30):
kind of in the north ofThailand.
And her family have arestaurant.
Her mum does big catering forhundreds of people.
And my wife's mum had built herown house.
And she'd had a mortgage for it,she'd built it, you know, it's a
beautiful home.
And around this time, this waswhen I turned my financial life
around.
When I was drinking, I was infinancial ruin.
I was borrowing money off myfamily.
(08:50):
My finances, they weren'tlooking good.
But by this point, the coachingbusiness was taking off.
Me and Or, we were in a seriousrelationship now.
It looked like we were gonnastay together for a very long
time.
So, one thing that we did is mymother-in-law, what we did is we
withdrew a lot of money and wepaid off her final mortgage
payment.
And we got it as cash, we hadthis wad of money, and we gifted
(09:13):
it to my mother-in-law, and wedid it in front of my wife's
grandparents.
And listen, this was one of themost fulfilling things I'd ever
done.
Just a few years ago, all I wasthinking about was me and my
drinking, and how can I get thenext drink, and you know, I
didn't care about anybody else.
I was selfish.
I put me first, my drinking camefirst, and I don't really care.
(09:34):
And to do something like this,it was a little bit out of
character to who I used to be.
But I was changing, I wasgrowing.
And I remember doing this, andagain, there was another shift.
And I'll come back to the shiftsin a minute at the end of the
video.
But doing this just solidifiedthings.
It was such a good feeling doingthat and doing something for
somebody else where you don'tget anything in return for it.
You're just giving freely, andit was such a good feeling.
(09:56):
And I didn't honestly think I'dever tell anybody about this.
I did this years ago now, so youknow, I wasn't doing it to go
and tell people one day, butit's a beautiful thing that
happened, and I wanted to shareit with you.
So let's get into the fourthmoment.
When I drank alcohol, I'm 33years of age, but I have a
younger brother who's 19.
We have a huge age gap.
He's actually a differentfather, same mother.
(10:16):
And I remember even when I wasdrinking alcohol, my brother was
very young, because I was in my20s, and I remember writing
things down like, you know, whydo I want to stop drinking?
And I'd write about my brotherand the example I want to set to
him, and then I'd drink again.
And the cycle would repeat.
But having a younger person inthe family was helpful because
you kind of have to set anexample.
Now, don't get me wrong, Ididn't set a great example for a
(10:37):
lot of his life, but now he'solder and he understands alcohol
and these problems.
I am setting a good example.
Or at least I think I am, andit's a lot better than it was.
Now, one amazing thing that'shappened with my brother is he
had a bit of a tough timegrowing up.
I'll keep this short because Idon't want to embarrass him, but
he went from kind of going downthe wrong direction, mixing with
(10:58):
the wrong crowd, and just beingnaughty, and you could kind of
see where that life path wasgoing.
He'd tell me stories and I'd I'dalmost get a little bit scared.
I'd be thinking, I just want youto come and live with me, don't
go back to England.
But over the past two years,that guy has gone through such a
huge transformation.
He's put on, you know, I don'tknow, 10, 15 kg of pure muscle.
(11:19):
He was literally about to justend college and just quit, to
getting three distinctions inhis work, which is like 4.0 GPA
or free grade A's, getting intouniversity, now studying a
marketing degree, and I'm justso proud of him.
I just can't believe he'smanaged to go from where he was
to what he's doing now.
It's amazing.
And I'm not taking any creditfor that, but I like to think
(11:42):
that, well, isn't it much betterthat I'm setting this example
for him than the example I set,you know, seven years ago.
So that's a really nice thingthat's happened.
And just knowing that I can bethere for him, if he needs
anything, I'll be there.
He came and spent two monthswith us during summer because we
wanted to reward the amazingresults that he's had and all
the effort that he's put in.
And just seeing him go touniversity, it just makes me
(12:04):
feel so good.
Now, the fifth moment and thefinal moment is that I got
married.
I became a husband.
And this only happened a fewmonths ago, it wasn't long ago.
But honestly, I didn't know Iwas gonna get married,
especially when I stoppeddrinking.
I just spent so long not eventhinking about the future
because I didn't plan ahead.
I wasn't thinking that farforward.
I was just thinking about me andmy drinking right now.
(12:26):
And getting married has beenamazing.
There's been a shift in my heartand it just feels so good.
It feels so good that this isit, we're all in for life, and
it makes me so happy.
And hopefully, hopefully my wifewill say the same.
Maybe she's got another versionof this.
I'm just kidding.
But with all of these fivethings, again, I'm not telling
you these things because I wantyou to go, wow, look at Leon,
(12:47):
because I'm sure you don't care.
But here's what's actuallyhappened.
I spent 10 years of my lifeidentifying as somebody who
drank alcohol.
There were points where Ithought I was an alcoholic, but
that was my identity.
I was either a drinker orsomebody struggling to not
drink.
But my identity, the way Iviewed myself, was as a drinker.
But all of these milestones andmoments that have happened in my
(13:09):
life were confirmation that myidentity was changing.
I went from a drinker to anon-drinker, which was the
foundation of everything.
I knew that I wasn't going todrink again, and it filled me
with so much confidence.
The next identity shift that Ihad was I started to see myself
as an entrepreneur.
When that person stoppeddrinking alcohol, I knew that I
could help other people.
(13:29):
Then, with paying off that finalpayment of my mother-in-law's
mortgage, I knew I was aprovider for my family.
I could provide them withresources to make their life
better, which was just so muchbetter than how I used to
behave.
Then, next, I became a positiveexample for my younger brother.
And then finally, I became ahusband.
And these shifts in the way thatI viewed myself are just night
(13:53):
and day different to the way Isaw myself when I drank.
See, once you stop drinkingalcohol and you're a
non-drinker, what you want to dois just move on with your life.
Solve that problem so then youcan start having identity
shifts.
So you can start seeing yourselfas something more positive.
What you don't want to do islive the rest of your life in
that non-drinker phase.
So many people out there makenot drinking alcohol their
(14:16):
number one identity.
And you want to know the truth?
How selfish.
I don't know if you noticed, butthe four big shifts that I went
through, technically, they'renothing to do with me.
They were all to do with otherpeople.
Being an entrepreneur means youbuild things for other people to
use that help them.
Being a provider means that yougive to other people.
Being a positive example meansthat somebody else benefits from
(14:36):
that.
And being married means that theperson that you're marrying gets
a huge benefit.
You know, being married is aboutserving the other person.
None of these things wereactually about me.
When you stop drinking alcohol,you get out of this selfish
phase of your life and you canstart being there for the people
that you love in ways that youjust can't imagine.
I promise you, if you stick onthis path, it'll change
(14:58):
everything.
Thanks for checking out the StopDrinking podcast by SoberClear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly,then make sure to visit
www.soberclear.com.
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