July 30, 2025 • 12 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Now, before we get into thisvideo, I want to warn you this
will not be easy to watch.
This video will probably makeyou slightly uncomfortable, but
if you can make it through tothe very end, I'll promise you
one thing you are going to be sowell equipped to not drink
alcohol.
So if you want to reduce yourdrinking, stop drinking, or if
(00:42):
you've already stopped drinkingalcohol and you want to really
solidify your mindset, I reallyencourage you to just watch this
whole video.
I promise you it ain't going tobe easy, because what I'm going
to do in this video is I'mgoing to break down six lies
that all alcohol drinkers tellthemselves.
How do I know this?
Because these are lies that Itold myself.
I drank for almost 10 years andall of these thoughts and all
(01:04):
of these things that I toldmyself were in my own head After
speaking with thousands ofpeople.
These are the lies that come upwhen I have conversations with
people who have a drinkingproblem, but I'm not calling
anybody out specifically.
Every single drinker will gothrough this.
But the most important thingthat I'm going to give you in
this video is I'm going to giveyou the lie and then the truth,
and the truth can sometimessting.
(01:24):
Like I said, if you can get tothe end of this video, you'll be
miles ahead of everybody else.
So the first lie that peopletell themselves is it's not that
bad.
This can keep people stuck fordecades.
They know in their heart thatthey're doing something that
they shouldn't do.
Because I do believe thateverybody's got some level of
cognitive dissonance withalcohol.
(01:45):
We know it's a poison, we knowit's a drug, we know it does
nothing good for us.
But in order to reduce thiscognitive dissonance, we need to
lie to ourselves.
So all that we're doing herewith these lies is reducing
cognitive dissonance so we don'tfeel so stupid about consuming
this highly addictive drug, thispoison.
We need to reduce the cognitivedissonance, otherwise we're
going to go insane or we'llactually just stop drinking.
(02:08):
So what we can often do is wecan drink right and life can be
kind of okay.
It's not like we've got a DUI.
It's not like X, y, z, and whatwe're really doing here is
we're comparing our drinking toother people.
We can think, well, I'm not asbad as that guy that got a DUI.
I'm not as bad as that personwho lost his wife because of
their drinking.
It's not like I've gotcirrhosis of the liver and I'm
(02:29):
going to die.
I'm a high functioningalcoholic.
See, it's not that bad.
And if you've ever told yourselfthis, who are you kidding?
Because I'm not buying it, yourfamily aren't buying it.
Who are you kidding here,comparing your drinking to
somebody else's?
To then say to yourself to lieto yourself that it's not that
bad.
What are you waiting for?
Are you literally tellingyourself that you want to wait
(02:49):
for a moment where everythingexplodes and then it's bad
enough to fix?
See, just for a second, reflecton your drinking over the past
few years.
Have things got better?
Have things decreased over time, or are things getting worse?
Are you drinking more?
That time goes on.
Because if it's not that bad andyou're not as bad as them, or
you're not as bad as that person, what do you think that the
(03:10):
person who is that bad once saidto themselves as well?
The same damn lie.
I don't want to soundcondescending.
I want you to be able to lookat the situation logically and
just recognize that you sayingit's not that bad, you ain't
kidding anybody else butyourself.
And whilst I don't want to comeacross as judgmental, I do want
to remind you that I have saidthis lie to myself as well.
(03:30):
All of these things are lies, Itold myself.
In hindsight, it's quite easyfor me to now look at those lies
because I don't drink.
I've got past it all.
But I want to be as real as Ican with you.
I want you to be able to lookat the situation for what it is
and listen.
You might hate me afterwatching this video, but I'll
take it.
I'll take your hate as long asit helps you stop drinking.
Lie number two this one is huge.
(03:51):
The second lie is tellingyourself I have things under
control.
I've got things under control.
I only drink X amount and I'vegot my limit and I never go over
it.
I'll be honest, I didn't reallytell myself this lie so often,
but there were periods where Idid believe I had it under
control.
So I didn't stop and theinevitable end of a long road
came where I no longer hadthings under control.
(04:14):
Now, just so you can see theinsanity of this and again, I
don't mean to sound like ana-hole, I'm just being honest
but how many people do you meet?
And let's say, I don't know, Idon't know if you've ever been
skiing before, but I love skiing, right, it's literally my
favorite thing ever.
I have the most fun of my lifewhen I'm skiing.
I just love it.
It is the best feeling ever.
(04:35):
But when I meet somebody elsethat shares that enthusiasm of
skiing, do you think me and thatperson sit down and say I love
skiing so much?
No, of course I don't do that.
I also have a soft spot forpastry, right, I love panneau
raisins.
I might have even justbutchered the pronunciation
(04:55):
panneau raisin, however youpronounce it.
I didn't really listen inFrench class at school.
But anyway, these pastries areamazing, they're beautiful, but
I don't really eat them becauseit's a pastry filled with sugar
and butter.
So you know, maybe every sooften I'll walk past one.
I'll see the most beautifulpastry.
This happens when I go toEurope and I'm like I just can't
resist it.
But do you think I'll walk intothat store and say, can I have
my panoramic raisin, listen, andthen I start justifying it.
(05:17):
I don't really eat that manypanoramic raisins.
I got this under control, buttoday I think I'm going to have
one.
I think I'd do that.
Of course not.
It would be ridiculous.
When you tell yourself you whatare you talking about?
Think about it.
This is nothing other thanjustification of consuming a
drug.
If you are telling yourselfthat you have things under
control, do you ever say thatabout other areas of your life?
(05:38):
See, we say it because we knowin our heart that alcohol is a
poison.
We know it's not a good thing.
So by telling other people andlying to yourself that things
are under control, I'm sorry,but it's just reducing cognitive
dissonance.
It's pure justification andpure cope and again I've used
that word, again, cope.
It must be a millennial term.
But does that mean that if youtell yourself you've got things
(06:00):
under control, that you're onlygoing to look at the problem if
you don't have things undercontrol, and then surely if you
don't have things under control,then it's too late?
Do you see the madness of it?
So the third lie oh, my gosh,this one.
I have told myself this so manytimes.
The third thing is tellingyourself you'll deal with this
later.
And this is when you've kind ofgot past those first two lies.
You know it's bad, you aren'tlying to yourself that you can
(06:22):
control it.
You know it's causing problems,you know it's causing pain.
And then you tell yourself I'lldeal with it later, after the
holidays, after that wedding.
Oh, I've got this big eventcoming up, this big business
thing, this big social thing.
Once that's done, then I'll fixthe problem.
And I don't want to soundnegative, I don't want to
discourage you.
But does tomorrow ever come?
Diet starts Monday, right, we'veheard it all before and I'm not
(06:43):
necessarily saying thatchoosing a date to stop drinking
is bad.
But why bother, why delay it?
What's the delay for?
Because if you're actuallydelaying stopping drinking until
after that social event, you'veactually never truly fixed the
paradigm that you have.
You see alcohol as somethingthat adds value in your life, in
these social events, which iswhy you need to tell yourself
(07:03):
that you'll deal with thingsafter the event.
But then that means you'venever fixed your worldview in
the first place.
So then you're just going toresort to willpower.
Because I promise you one thingif you're able to reframe the
way you view alcohol to see itin its purely logical way, in
its pure form, as ethanol, rightas a poison.
If you can see it that way,then stopping drinking is a
(07:25):
choice that you make in aninstant.
It's like the flick of a switchand you don't think about
what's going to happen furtherdown the road.
It's like all it is is itbecomes a decision.
Telling yourself that you'lldeal with this after XYZ event
or when life's calmed down, whenyou're less stressed, is a lie.
The best time to do this wasyesterday.
The next best time is now,which leads me into the fourth
lie.
Now, if you've had failedattempts to stop drinking
(07:48):
alcohol in the past and you aregoing to try again and you're
either going to use a methodthat you used in the past that
didn't work, or you're going totell yourself that you're just
going to fight it with willpowerand do this on your own.
But that hasn't worked already.
To me, you're almost kind ofsetting yourself up for failure.
And again, I don't want todiscourage you.
Right, I want you to fix theproblem.
(08:08):
But if you've tried stoppingdrinking, let's say with pure
willpower, and you've hadsuccess, you've stopped for a
few months, here and there, andthen you're telling yourself
this time is going to bedifferent.
This time I'm just going toresist it even harder.
Then, in a weird way, it's kindof like self-sabotage Very,
very tough for me to say, buttelling yourself that you're
going to go back to the methodthat didn't work already.
(08:28):
Are you seriously sure thatit's going to work, or are you
kind of giving yourself like anescape hatch of like well, if it
didn't work, oh well, at leastI tried?
The good news and the goodthing, though, is that there is
a different way for you to dothings.
My method is totally differentto everything else out there.
It's all about reframing howyou view alcohol, instead of
reframing the way you viewyourself.
I have a coaching program wherewe've worked with over 450
(08:51):
business owners and high levelprofessionals, and if you want
to see if that could be a goodmatch for you, then you can
click the link in thedescription.
You can fill in an applicationand book a free consultation.
What we'll do on that call isactually give you a plan to
follow, so it will be a supervaluable call.
We get a 96% success rate.
The method has beenscientifically validated by an
academic psychologist, and, ifyou go on Google Scholar, you
(09:13):
can search sober clear systemand you can read a scientific
report that explains how themethod works.
But if you could stop drinkingalone with the methods that
you've already tried again Idon't want to sound too negative
, but you'd probably already besober.
Which leads me to the fifth lie.
And the fifth lie is notnecessarily a lie like the other
lies, but it's this feeling ofhow am I going to deal with an
(09:35):
emotion without alcohol?
So, for example, how am I goingto deal with stress after a
hard day of work?
How am I going to be able toloosen up in a social event
without a drink?
How am I going to celebratewithout a glass of champagne?
How am I going to have a goodtime with my partner?
Now, this is less of a lie, butit's more of like a fear, this
thing of like.
How am I actually going to dealwith life when a problem comes
(09:57):
my way?
How am I going to deal with itwithout alcohol?
And with this one?
I just want to remind you ofsomething.
This might take you back quite afew years, but before you ever
touched alcohol, you were ableto deal with stress.
You were able to deal withsocializing.
You were able to deal witheverything without this drug as
children, as teenagers.
Nobody needs alcohol and Ipromise you, if you stop
(10:18):
drinking alcohol and you make itpermanent, you will be able to
deal with anything life throwsat you, and in fact, you won't
just be able to deal with it,you'll be better equipped to
deal with it.
Things aren't going to getworse if you stop drinking.
But it all boils down to thesixth lie, and this is the
biggest of all, and this is whateverything is built upon.
This is like the foundation oflies.
The biggest lie that peopletell themselves is that they
(10:45):
believe that life will be worseoff if they stop drinking.
This is the ultimate fear.
They think that everythingisn't going to get better.
It's going to be harder.
During the 10 years that Istruggled to stop drinking
alcohol, that fear dominated mylife, it dominated my thinking
and it dominated my worldview.
I thought that if I stoppeddrinking alcohol, life would be
in a worse position, becausethere was this deep rooted
belief that alcohol addedsomething in my life.
(11:07):
Listen, I'm going to say thisto you 10,000 times until it
clicks Alcohol adds nothing.
It will add nothing to yourlife.
It gives you nothing, and lifewill not be worse without it In
six months time from now, if youstop drinking alcohol and you
focus on what you actually wantfrom your life with your
relationship, with your health,with your business, with your
finances, with your spiritualityif you put all your energy into
(11:30):
the things that you want andyou stop drinking alcohol.
I want to make something clear.
The version of you in sixmonths that stopped drinking and
gone towards the life of theirdreams could see who you were
right now.
The two people will beunrecognizable.
Life will not be worse if youfix this problem.
It's when life begins.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear If you want to learn moreabout how we work with people to
(11:52):
help them.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Now, before we get into thisvideo, I want to warn you this
will not be easy to watch.
This video will probably makeyou slightly uncomfortable, but
if you can make it through tothe very end, I'll promise you
one thing you are going to be sowell equipped to not drink
alcohol.
So if you want to reduce yourdrinking, stop drinking, or if
(00:42):
you've already stopped drinkingalcohol and you want to really
solidify your mindset, I reallyencourage you to just watch this
whole video.
I promise you it ain't going tobe easy, because what I'm going
to do in this video is I'mgoing to break down six lies
that all alcohol drinkers tellthemselves.
How do I know this?
Because these are lies that Itold myself.
I drank for almost 10 years andall of these thoughts and all
(01:04):
of these things that I toldmyself were in my own head After
speaking with thousands ofpeople.
These are the lies that come upwhen I have conversations with
people who have a drinkingproblem, but I'm not calling
anybody out specifically.
Every single drinker will gothrough this.
But the most important thingthat I'm going to give you in
this video is I'm going to giveyou the lie and then the truth,
and the truth can sometimessting.
(01:24):
Like I said, if you can get tothe end of this video, you'll be
miles ahead of everybody else.
So the first lie that peopletell themselves is it's not that
bad.
This can keep people stuck fordecades.
They know in their heart thatthey're doing something that
they shouldn't do.
Because I do believe thateverybody's got some level of
cognitive dissonance withalcohol.
(01:45):
We know it's a poison, we knowit's a drug, we know it does
nothing good for us.
But in order to reduce thiscognitive dissonance, we need to
lie to ourselves.
So all that we're doing herewith these lies is reducing
cognitive dissonance so we don'tfeel so stupid about consuming
this highly addictive drug, thispoison.
We need to reduce the cognitivedissonance, otherwise we're
going to go insane or we'llactually just stop drinking.
(02:08):
So what we can often do is wecan drink right and life can be
kind of okay.
It's not like we've got a DUI.
It's not like X, y, z, and whatwe're really doing here is
we're comparing our drinking toother people.
We can think, well, I'm not asbad as that guy that got a DUI.
I'm not as bad as that personwho lost his wife because of
their drinking.
It's not like I've gotcirrhosis of the liver and I'm
(02:29):
going to die.
I'm a high functioningalcoholic.
See, it's not that bad.
And if you've ever told yourselfthis, who are you kidding?
Because I'm not buying it, yourfamily aren't buying it.
Who are you kidding here,comparing your drinking to
somebody else's?
To then say to yourself to lieto yourself that it's not that
bad.
What are you waiting for?
Are you literally tellingyourself that you want to wait
(02:49):
for a moment where everythingexplodes and then it's bad
enough to fix?
See, just for a second, reflecton your drinking over the past
few years.
Have things got better?
Have things decreased over time, or are things getting worse?
Are you drinking more?
That time goes on.
Because if it's not that bad andyou're not as bad as them, or
you're not as bad as that person, what do you think that the
(03:10):
person who is that bad once saidto themselves as well?
The same damn lie.
I don't want to soundcondescending.
I want you to be able to lookat the situation logically and
just recognize that you sayingit's not that bad, you ain't
kidding anybody else butyourself.
And whilst I don't want to comeacross as judgmental, I do want
to remind you that I have saidthis lie to myself as well.
(03:30):
All of these things are lies, Itold myself.
In hindsight, it's quite easyfor me to now look at those lies
because I don't drink.
I've got past it all.
But I want to be as real as Ican with you.
I want you to be able to lookat the situation for what it is
and listen.
You might hate me afterwatching this video, but I'll
take it.
I'll take your hate as long asit helps you stop drinking.
Lie number two this one is huge.
(03:51):
The second lie is tellingyourself I have things under
control.
I've got things under control.
I only drink X amount and I'vegot my limit and I never go over
it.
I'll be honest, I didn't reallytell myself this lie so often,
but there were periods where Idid believe I had it under
control.
So I didn't stop and theinevitable end of a long road
came where I no longer hadthings under control.
(04:14):
Now, just so you can see theinsanity of this and again, I
don't mean to sound like ana-hole, I'm just being honest
but how many people do you meet?
And let's say, I don't know, Idon't know if you've ever been
skiing before, but I love skiing, right, it's literally my
favorite thing ever.
I have the most fun of my lifewhen I'm skiing.
I just love it.
It is the best feeling ever.
(04:35):
But when I meet somebody elsethat shares that enthusiasm of
skiing, do you think me and thatperson sit down and say I love
skiing so much?
No, of course I don't do that.
I also have a soft spot forpastry, right, I love panneau
raisins.
I might have even justbutchered the pronunciation
(04:55):
panneau raisin, however youpronounce it.
I didn't really listen inFrench class at school.
But anyway, these pastries areamazing, they're beautiful, but
I don't really eat them becauseit's a pastry filled with sugar
and butter.
So you know, maybe every sooften I'll walk past one.
I'll see the most beautifulpastry.
This happens when I go toEurope and I'm like I just can't
resist it.
But do you think I'll walk intothat store and say, can I have
my panoramic raisin, listen, andthen I start justifying it.
(05:17):
I don't really eat that manypanoramic raisins.
I got this under control, buttoday I think I'm going to have
one.
I think I'd do that.
Of course not.
It would be ridiculous.
When you tell yourself you whatare you talking about?
Think about it.
This is nothing other thanjustification of consuming a
drug.
If you are telling yourselfthat you have things under
control, do you ever say thatabout other areas of your life?
(05:38):
See, we say it because we knowin our heart that alcohol is a
poison.
We know it's not a good thing.
So by telling other people andlying to yourself that things
are under control, I'm sorry,but it's just reducing cognitive
dissonance.
It's pure justification andpure cope and again I've used
that word, again, cope.
It must be a millennial term.
But does that mean that if youtell yourself you've got things
(06:00):
under control, that you're onlygoing to look at the problem if
you don't have things undercontrol, and then surely if you
don't have things under control,then it's too late?
Do you see the madness of it?
So the third lie oh, my gosh,this one.
I have told myself this so manytimes.
The third thing is tellingyourself you'll deal with this
later.
And this is when you've kind ofgot past those first two lies.
You know it's bad, you aren'tlying to yourself that you can
(06:22):
control it.
You know it's causing problems,you know it's causing pain.
And then you tell yourself I'lldeal with it later, after the
holidays, after that wedding.
Oh, I've got this big eventcoming up, this big business
thing, this big social thing.
Once that's done, then I'll fixthe problem.
And I don't want to soundnegative, I don't want to
discourage you.
But does tomorrow ever come?
Diet starts Monday, right, we'veheard it all before and I'm not
(06:43):
necessarily saying thatchoosing a date to stop drinking
is bad.
But why bother, why delay it?
What's the delay for?
Because if you're actuallydelaying stopping drinking until
after that social event, you'veactually never truly fixed the
paradigm that you have.
You see alcohol as somethingthat adds value in your life, in
these social events, which iswhy you need to tell yourself
(07:03):
that you'll deal with thingsafter the event.
But then that means you'venever fixed your worldview in
the first place.
So then you're just going toresort to willpower.
Because I promise you one thingif you're able to reframe the
way you view alcohol to see itin its purely logical way, in
its pure form, as ethanol, rightas a poison.
If you can see it that way,then stopping drinking is a
(07:25):
choice that you make in aninstant.
It's like the flick of a switchand you don't think about
what's going to happen furtherdown the road.
It's like all it is is itbecomes a decision.
Telling yourself that you'lldeal with this after XYZ event
or when life's calmed down, whenyou're less stressed, is a lie.
The best time to do this wasyesterday.
The next best time is now,which leads me into the fourth
lie.
Now, if you've had failedattempts to stop drinking
(07:48):
alcohol in the past and you aregoing to try again and you're
either going to use a methodthat you used in the past that
didn't work, or you're going totell yourself that you're just
going to fight it with willpowerand do this on your own.
But that hasn't worked already.
To me, you're almost kind ofsetting yourself up for failure.
And again, I don't want todiscourage you.
Right, I want you to fix theproblem.
(08:08):
But if you've tried stoppingdrinking, let's say with pure
willpower, and you've hadsuccess, you've stopped for a
few months, here and there, andthen you're telling yourself
this time is going to bedifferent.
This time I'm just going toresist it even harder.
Then, in a weird way, it's kindof like self-sabotage Very,
very tough for me to say, buttelling yourself that you're
going to go back to the methodthat didn't work already.
(08:28):
Are you seriously sure thatit's going to work, or are you
kind of giving yourself like anescape hatch of like well, if it
didn't work, oh well, at leastI tried?
The good news and the goodthing, though, is that there is
a different way for you to dothings.
My method is totally differentto everything else out there.
It's all about reframing howyou view alcohol, instead of
reframing the way you viewyourself.
I have a coaching program wherewe've worked with over 450
(08:51):
business owners and high levelprofessionals, and if you want
to see if that could be a goodmatch for you, then you can
click the link in thedescription.
You can fill in an applicationand book a free consultation.
What we'll do on that call isactually give you a plan to
follow, so it will be a supervaluable call.
We get a 96% success rate.
The method has beenscientifically validated by an
academic psychologist, and, ifyou go on Google Scholar, you
(09:13):
can search sober clear systemand you can read a scientific
report that explains how themethod works.
But if you could stop drinkingalone with the methods that
you've already tried again Idon't want to sound too negative
, but you'd probably already besober.
Which leads me to the fifth lie.
And the fifth lie is notnecessarily a lie like the other
lies, but it's this feeling ofhow am I going to deal with an
(09:35):
emotion without alcohol?
So, for example, how am I goingto deal with stress after a
hard day of work?
How am I going to be able toloosen up in a social event
without a drink?
How am I going to celebratewithout a glass of champagne?
How am I going to have a goodtime with my partner?
Now, this is less of a lie, butit's more of like a fear, this
thing of like.
How am I actually going to dealwith life when a problem comes
(09:57):
my way?
How am I going to deal with itwithout alcohol?
And with this one?
I just want to remind you ofsomething.
This might take you back quite afew years, but before you ever
touched alcohol, you were ableto deal with stress.
You were able to deal withsocializing.
You were able to deal witheverything without this drug as
children, as teenagers.
Nobody needs alcohol and Ipromise you, if you stop
(10:18):
drinking alcohol and you make itpermanent, you will be able to
deal with anything life throwsat you, and in fact, you won't
just be able to deal with it,you'll be better equipped to
deal with it.
Things aren't going to getworse if you stop drinking.
But it all boils down to thesixth lie, and this is the
biggest of all, and this is whateverything is built upon.
This is like the foundation oflies.
The biggest lie that peopletell themselves is that they
(10:45):
believe that life will be worseoff if they stop drinking.
This is the ultimate fear.
They think that everythingisn't going to get better.
It's going to be harder.
During the 10 years that Istruggled to stop drinking
alcohol, that fear dominated mylife, it dominated my thinking
and it dominated my worldview.
I thought that if I stoppeddrinking alcohol, life would be
in a worse position, becausethere was this deep rooted
belief that alcohol addedsomething in my life.
(11:07):
Listen, I'm going to say thisto you 10,000 times until it
clicks Alcohol adds nothing.
It will add nothing to yourlife.
It gives you nothing, and lifewill not be worse without it In
six months time from now, if youstop drinking alcohol and you
focus on what you actually wantfrom your life with your
relationship, with your health,with your business, with your
finances, with your spiritualityif you put all your energy into
(11:30):
the things that you want andyou stop drinking alcohol.
I want to make something clear.
The version of you in sixmonths that stopped drinking and
gone towards the life of theirdreams could see who you were
right now.
The two people will beunrecognizable.
Life will not be worse if youfix this problem.
It's when life begins.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear If you want to learn moreabout how we work with people to
(11:52):
help them.
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