Alcohol feels impossible to quit, until this happens…

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.

(00:21):
Do you know what stopped mefrom quitting alcohol?
For the 10 years that I drankwas one thing and one thing only
, and today I'm going to showyou what that one thing was.
I'm going to show you how toovercome it and how you can stop
drinking alcohol without anywillpower, without going to AA
meetings, without feeling likeyou're missing out on anything.

(00:41):
I'm going to show you how I didit.
So what was the thing thatstopped me from quitting
drinking alcohol?
It was all in my mind.
So what I used to think is thatif I stopped drinking, how am I
going to deal with life?
How am I going to deal withstress?
How am I going to be able tosocialize?
How am I going to go to a nicerestaurant?
How am I going to, you know,unwind after a hard day?

(01:02):
How am I going to celebrate?
But I had all of these thingsthat I associated alcohol with.
So I used to think okay, if Idon't drink alcohol, how am I
going to survive?
How am I going to do all ofthese things?
And even when I didn't drink,all those beliefs were still
there.
Right, I saw alcohol as thisthing that added loads of value
to my life.
So even during like the periodswhere I'd stop and start
because I drank for about 10years, but I would stop a month

(01:24):
here, three months there, sixmonths here you know, I stopped
and started all the time.
Even during the periods where Istopped, I still held on to
these beliefs.
And I'll tell you what thosebeliefs were.
They were nothing more thanfear, and it was the fear that
by stopping drinking alcohol, Iwould be worse off.
That's it.
This fear is totally, totallyirrational.
I'll tell you why.
All of those things that Ithought that I associated

(01:48):
alcohol with were often createdby alcohol in the first place.
I'll give you an example.
So I used to think how am Igoing to relax without alcohol?
Let's just break this down alittle bit further.
When you drink alcohol, you'reactually addicted to a drug.
Don't skip the video.
I know that might sound like ashock, it might sound a bit
harsh, but it is drug addiction.
Right, you're like a shock.
It might sound a bit harsh, butit is drug addiction.
Right, you're drinking a drug.
When you take a drug, it's anaddiction.
There's just different levelsof severity.

(02:09):
No matter how you want to putit, even if you only drink a
glass of wine a night, there'sstill some level of addiction.
So what happens in thisrelaxation example is, when you
don't have the drug, there is avery slight feeling of not being
relaxed.
There's a very slight feelingof not being relaxed.
There's a very slight feelingof agitation.
Now, for a heavy drinker,there's a very big feeling of
agitation.
But even for the casual drinkerright, for the person that

(02:30):
drinks half a bottle of wine atthe weekend they still get this
weird slight feeling ofagitation.
So during the 10 years that Idrank, I would get that feeling
and then it would instantly begone as soon as I drank.
What I thought was happeningbefore I studied alcohol and
before I started researching isI thought alcohol was making me
feel relaxed.
No, it wasn't making me feelrelaxed at all.

(02:50):
What was happening is alcoholwas creating a feeling of being
unrelaxed in the first place.
And if you've read any stopdrinking literature, this kind
of example comes up time andtime again.
But the point of the matter is,is almost every fear I had
about stopping drinking alcoholwas created by alcohol in the
first place?
I'd give you another example.
I used to think that if I drankalcohol I was more social.

(03:12):
If I really reflect back at mylife, what it may have done is
alleviated a moment of fear toapproach a new person or maybe
to say something a little bitcontroversial or outlandish, so
it would remove this sense offear.
But did it make me more social?
Absolutely not, absolutely not.
Like man, if I get four beersin me, I am talking complete
nonsense.
Oh, I remember I was in amembers club once in London and

(03:36):
I have this really vague memoryand I have got no idea what I
said to this guy.
But it was this massive blackdude.
He looked like I don't knowsome gangster or something,
looked scary as, and he stood upand he like pushed me and
confronted me.
And I'm not, you know, I never,I've never really gone into a
fight like that before and I waslike, oh what?
And I can't remember what Isaid.
That's the thing is.
I can't remember what I saidWait, hang on.
So so wait a minute.

(03:56):
I'm afraid of stopping drinkingalcohol because I might not be
able to socialise Yet, at thesame time, struggled to stop
drinking alcohol was because ofthis fear, and all of it was in
my mind, every little bit of it.
It was all in my head.
And once I stopped drinkingalcohol, all the reasons why I

(04:17):
thought I drank went away and Ifelt totally fine without
drinking.
Now how I got there was when Istopped drinking just under
seven years ago is I did do alot of introspection.
I read a lot, I thought a lot,I did a lot of journaling and I
really unpacked it.
And that's why there's nochance of me going back to
alcohol, because I've reallyreflected on it.
And these days, you know, I'mtotally fine to socialize

(04:38):
without drinking.
I feel 10 times less stressed,and if I do get stressed, I've
got ways of coping with itwithout going to a drug.
If I want to relax, guess what?
I don't need to go and drink adrug.
That makes me unrelaxed in thefirst place.
I can have a bath, right.
I can go for a massage, I cango for a walk, I can talk to my
partner, I can watch a movie.
There's a million ways to relaxthat don't involve taking a
highly addictive poison, but thefear of stopping drinking

(05:00):
alcohol is massive.
It is the biggest problem thatpeople face, and it's exactly
what I do in my program is weeradicate this fear?
So then, rather than stoppingdrinking, feeling like this,
this fighting, this struggle inthis battle, it feels more like
a logical choice, because that'swhat we're trying to do.
We don't want to live our livesstruggling and fighting and
resisting alcohol forever.
Oh, mosquito, mosquito.

(05:21):
I must not get bitten by amosquito.
I think I've said this in a fewvideos, but I got.
I got dengue fever like a yearago, and I'm terrified of
getting bitten because I thinkif you get dengue fever a second
time, you can die.
Anyway, we're good.
The point of the matter is, youhave got nothing to fear, and
I'll tell you this.
I went from being fat, lethargic, financially broke, broken up

(05:41):
in my relationship, destroying abusiness, to stopping drinking
and literally living the life ofmy dreams, being in a place
like this.
You know, I'm about to getmarried.
I got into the best shape of mylife.
I've been able to travel theworld.
I've, you know, we just gotback from, like, this amazing
six-week road trip across all ofAmerica.
It was insane.
We're now here in thisincredible villa.
I mean, all of this stuffhappened after stopping drinking

(06:02):
alcohol and I'm telling youyou've got nothing to fear.
Life just gets better andbetter and better.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear If you want to learn moreabout how we work with people to
help.