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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Quit drinking alcohol or losehis family forever.
Two and a half years ago, johnwas forced to make the most
important decision he'd everfaced.
From the outside, it lookedlike he had it all A booming
business, financial success anda beautiful, beautiful family.
John was living what many wouldconsider to be the great
American dream, but behindclosed doors John was fighting a
(00:43):
silent war.
The same war millions battleevery single day.
Alcohol.
John had tried to quit moretimes than he could count, but
nothing worked and theconsequences they just kept
getting worse.
He managed to stop drinkingalone, but then it crept back in
and one night, his wife.
She gave him the ultimatum, andthis shattered everything.
John, it is the family or thealcohol.
(01:05):
His wife kicked him out of thehouse and gave him six weeks.
Six weeks to do somethingdifferent.
Six weeks to fix what he hadn'tbeen able to fix in decades.
And that was the breaking point.
But it was also the turningpoint.
See, what happened over thenext few weeks completely
changed the trajectory of John'slife in a way that most people
will never get to experience,and that's when John reached out
(01:26):
to me.
That's when John and I beganworking together, and today, two
and a half years later, notonly has John stayed sober, he
doesn't even think about alcoholanymore.
So what happened in those sixweeks?
What was the shift that madeeverything else just click into
place?
And how did John go from thisrock bottom to building a life
that most people only dream of?
(01:46):
His relationships are betterthan ever, he's fitter than ever
and his wife is so proud of him.
Well, in this interview, you'regoing to hear it all the raw
truth, the mindset shift and theexact approach that finally
worked.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, we've got John joining us.
So John has been in the programfor two and a half years now.
We actually did an interviewlike this about two years ago.
(02:08):
He's still not drunk, and Iwanted him to come on today to
really talk more about thelong-term effects of stopping
drinking, because five months isgreat, right, and stopping
drinking for five months islife-changing, but two and a
half years, I mean this is wherethe major changes really start
coming, start coming.
So rather than me preaching toyou because I've been preaching
it until I'm blue in the face Iwanted john to come back on the
(02:30):
channel to really share hisjourney one more time and talk
to you all about the long-termbenefits that he's found,
because two and a half years, Imean, that's getting serious now
and that's a great achievement,john.
So firstly, congratulations,I'm so proud of you and, and yes
, welcome John, thanks forcoming back.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Thanks for having me, Leon.
It's super exciting to be back.
And, yeah, thanks for thecongratulations.
For two and a half years, it'skind of weird.
I was talking to my wife theother day and it doesn't seem
like it's been that long, but inother times it seems like it's
been.
It felt like I've never drank.
It's still a totally differentlife thing.
So, yes, it's been a blessingand enjoying every day Awesome.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So yeah, so for those of you.
As for those people, thatdidn't watch the previous video.
Who are you, john?
What do?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
you do.
I live in Texas in the UnitedStates.
I'm a business owner on acouple of jewelry stores here
just outside the Houston area.
It's been family-run since 1986, second generation, I have two
great kids.
I have a daughter and a son andjust a very busy life.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
So let's talk about the drinking.
So, yeah, when did it start foryou like, yeah, how did alcohol
get into your life?
Like, what's the?
What was the journey there?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
uh, alcohol pretty much has been in my life, my
whole life.
Uh, I have I'm from a family ofum not so much alcohol, but
just people drinking, and youknow, I'm sure it's in every
part of the world, but in theUnited States it's almost like,
you know, you turn 21 and youstart drinking, or you're 18 at
the time.
Whenever you start drinking,it's just what you're supposed
(04:13):
to do and that's what it's anorm for an adult.
And that was not.
That was the same case with myfamily Grew up with some aunts
and uncles and everything thatworked in the beer business in
different aspects, differentroles, and so every event,
gathering, whatever there wasalways beer, there's always
alcohol.
So I just grew up with it andcontinued it through college and
(04:35):
then after college and, likeeverybody would do it, you use
it as a stress release, you useit as a way to just kind of open
up and have fun and everythinglike that.
And it started to take a toll alittle bit on me in different
relationships in my life.
(04:55):
At the time my wife and I hadbeen married for roughly about
14 years 14 years and shedoesn't drink as much as I did
hardly at all.
So at different events.
I was always the one that youknow she was making sure that I
(05:16):
didn't embarrass myself or doanything like that.
And you know we always justmade sure that everything was
okay.
And it got to the point wheremy drinking was more regularly
and it started off being a smallbusiness owner, especially
retail.
Christmas time it's usuallystressful, and so it started at
Christmas time like after we getdone with work, some employees
(05:36):
and I would sit down and haveone or two drinks after work
just to de-stress, talk aboutthe day.
And that led to Christmas andthen continued on through the
rest of the year, the next year,and it just got to the point
where even I can look at it andbe like, okay, this is way too
(05:57):
much.
And she kept telling me and,you know, trying to help me and
everything.
And it got to the point whereit just my drinking kind of just
put a wedge in between us andshe kicked me out of the house.
And she kicked me out of thehouse for six weeks and to make
(06:21):
sure that I was, you know, Ineeded to take care of myself
and that she was serious aboutthis.
And until then, to be honestwith you everything.
She said like try to stop foryou know two months, try to stop
for this.
Just you know, put the familyfirst and everything.
I was just okay, fine, but Iwasn't fully committed Because I
was like I'll just do this forhowever long she said to do it,
(06:42):
and then we'll be done and thenI can go hang out and drink and
have fun with my friends.
And it wasn't you know where Iwas getting, just you know,
drunk all the time.
It was just a few drinks hereand there and stuff, but it just
kept adding up.
And it wasn't until then that Iwas just like, oh crap, like
you're about to just ruin yourlife.
You're about to just ruin yourlife and everything so far, to
(07:04):
that point that I worked up forand I dreamed of as a kid, with
having a successful business andhaving a family and having my
son, especially my daughter, myson looking up to me and seeing
me doing all this and I didn'twant that and that was the eye
opener and that's.
I'd actually started SoberClear before that, but we talked
(07:26):
before.
I wasn't fully committed intoit until then.
And then I reread all the books, did all the chats, did
everything like that and it wasamazing to me just the
transformation.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
So for you it was just a part of everyday life for
a long time, no big problems,and it sounds like you can't
even remember when it actuallyjust started getting into a
problem.
It was just like this thingthat just crept up and up, and
up, and up and up and then allof a sudden there were like
these wake up calls of like whoa, how did I get here?
It was sneaky, how did I gethere?
(08:00):
Right, and you know, sneaky.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, and everybody that's gone through this has
understand and had those timeswhere you're just like you know,
you get up the next day, you goto work or you go somewhere
else and you're like, okay, Ican't do that anymore, this was
stupid or whatever.
And then you know it's not thelast time you do it, or whatever
the case may be.
(08:23):
But yeah, and just would slowly, just kind of slowly, creep up
and keep happening more often,more frequently, and we would
keep having these talks, thesame talks, and you know, like
well, I guess what they say withguys you got to just tell me to
my face, and she did, and Ididn't see the signs, and so
when she kicked me out of thehouse, that was the wake and so,
um, when she kicked me out ofthe house, that was the wake up
(08:44):
call.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Jason Vale Mm-hmm, yeah, but listen, so we, we, we,
we should talk about thisfurther because, uh, I speak to
a lot of people who are insimilar situations to yourself,
where the wives are mad,husbands are mad, you know they,
they get it, they're, you know,threatening divorce, or divorce
has happened, and then theycome to me wanting to change,
and I always tell them that youcan't do this for your wife,
(09:08):
you've got to do this foryourself, right, and it's never
going to work.
And what happened to you isthat you said that you kept
having these conversations withyour wife.
She'd say, john, you got tochange, and then you would
change, but you were doing itfor your wife, right, and then,
and then, and then, a monthlater, you go back to it, cycle
repeats.
So so something shifted right,you, you must have done it for
(09:29):
yourself this time, because you,you've lasted two and a half
years.
So what changed there?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
like in your mindset my mindset was I didn't want to
lose my family.
I didn't want to be.
You know I'm.
I was fortunate enough, my dadpassed away a few years ago, but
my parents were married for 43years, so I had both mom and dad
in my house growing up and knowthe great joy that I had
(09:53):
growing up with that, and I didnot want to have my kids where
they didn't have dad at home.
It tore me up.
Every day I would still do thedaily things.
I'd pick them up, take them toschool, drop them off, go to
work, bring them home, havedinner and then I would leave
(10:15):
and that killed me and just thatthought of, hey, everything
that you've worked forpersonally is going to be gone.
If you know, take thisseriously and kind of like.
When I sent the text throughthe group chat, just checking in
, I started to really like theperson I was starting to see in
(10:36):
the mirror and understand that,hey, I've said this before to my
wife, to my family my mom, mybrothers and know that I wasn't
fully invested in it and I wasjust given lip service.
And now that I'm fully investedinto it, I would sit down and
(10:56):
look at myself in the mirror andbe like you know, one day at a
time, one step at a time, and Istarted to really like who I was
again.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
One day at a time.
Don't say that, man.
That's what they say in AA.
Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I'm an athlete, so it's like one shot at a time.
I play baseball, one pitch at atime, everything like that.
It's a cliche, but it's like itworks for everything.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Nah, I'm winding you up.
So how about this?
We can say, like it, you know,try to get one percent better
every day.
There we go, there we go, loveit, love it.
Okay.
So so for you, what reallyhappened right is that I would
say the turning point for youwas yeah, the wife kicked you
out, but it I mean you.
I think you played it out.
If I continue on this path, Iwill lose everything I built, my
(11:42):
family will be gone and for you, you're your family man.
It sounds like family comesfirst, and I'm sure the only
reason why you do your businessin the first place is to provide
for your family.
They're the most importantthing to you.
So you played it forward andrealized shit like if I do not
do something about this, it'sI'm done for correct.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, and 100% of that.
And I mean, and my business wasstarted by my dad, so it's a
family business, so we're allabout making sure that
everything's about your familyand everything like that.
And especially in my family, asfar as my community that we've
been in for over 40 years havethat reputation or that stigma
(12:29):
of you know that I wasself-centered in this aspect of
my life and that I did not wantto have my kids have that
negative feeling about me and Iwanted to be a bigger role model
, because when this was allhappening, my daughter was 13,
14, my son was 10, you know, andme and my son, you know, do a
(12:50):
lot of stuff together and Ididn't want him to remember dad
like that and then kind of havethat distant relationship with
me.
So that was really the kick inthe pants I needed and it was
crazy that it just after that,like bulb, went off.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
It was easy it is easy, yeah, well, um, man, you
make me so proud, like I feeljust so satisfied hearing all of
this, like you were on theverge of losing your family and
you turned it all around, andI'm just so, um, yeah, I feel so
proud of you I don't know ifthat's the right way.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
But I will say this, though that, like um and we
talked several years ago aboutthis is that joining the program
at all intents, like hey, I'mgonna do this, we can do this.
As you know, I can take care ofthis myself and, after
rereading everything again,fully committed, the way that
you approach stuff and the waythat the program approaches this
(13:55):
is, in opinion, revolutionary,in the fact that you're
understanding and telling peoplelike, hey, there's nothing
wrong with you, you're not theproblem, you don't have a
disease, you don't have anythinglike this, you know, it's just.
This is a way that you have tocontrol your mind to understand
that.
And as soon as you know likeand realize like, understand
(14:22):
that.
And as soon as you know likeand realize like, from a month
in, I did not miss alcohol, likeI, to this day, can go to
restaurants, go to bars, go tostuff like that.
And at the first few months ofdoing this, my friends and
family were like, oh, we don'tneed to go there, we don't ask,
no, you go, and if you want tohave a drink, have a drink, I
don't care, I'm getting a Spriteor water and you know it
doesn't bother me at all and Ican tell you that the next
(14:46):
mornings are awesome.
You know, I always used to wakeup with that anxiety.
I'd call it.
I would always worry about whatI said or what I did, and
especially in this area, being abusiness owner and I know a lot
of people it's like, did I justmake an ass out of myself last
night, or did I say something atthis gala event that I was at,
that pissed somebody off, youknow, and I don't have to worry
(15:09):
about that, you know, if I getup in the morning, I'm tired.
Just because I'm tired, youknow, it's not anything that I,
you know, have a major hangovercause I was an idiot the night
before or whatever.
And that is one of the bestfeelings, you know, is getting
up, knowing that I'm clearminded.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Um, you know I'm, I'm ready to tackle the day or do
whatever I need to do.
Love it, love it.
Did you ever consider going toAA?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, no, I um, maybe a , maybe a year before joining
Sober Clear, um, my wife waslike, hey, let's see if we can
just both of us like just stopdrinking for a month, whatever.
Okay, you know you do the dryJanuary, whatever it is, and
I've always been the guy thatthey're type person that I'm
(16:03):
going to take care of my.
I can do it myself and I don'tneed somebody to to tell me or
tell me what's wrong with me orwhat I need to fix or anything
like that.
I can figure that out.
So no, because initially I'msure, like most people, you
think like I'm not an alcoholic.
I don't have a drink, I don'tget up in the morning and have
to crack a beer and pour in mycereal or you know, whatever the
(16:25):
case may be.
But I've learned that you knowthere's different definitions of
alcoholism, you know alcoholabuse and everything like that.
So, but no, I never had enteredmy mind to do AA or go to any
kind of meetings or everythinglike that.
But no, I never had entered mymind to do AA or go to any kind
of meetings or anything likethat.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Now, you just made a comment Because a lot of people
feel this way.
You said I would never go therebecause I'm a strong man, I can
do it myself.
But you did end up getting myhelp, so you did end up reaching
out for help in the end.
So what shifted there?
What made you?
You actually say do you knowwhat?
I can't do this on my own,because there's a lot, there's a
(17:08):
lot of people out there thatfeel the same way you do, and
then they don't have the courageto reach out and ask for help.
And there's nothing wrong withasking for help no 100, you're
correct on that.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I've learned that as I've gotten older, with the
different things We'll talkabout mental health or therapy
and talking to people and nottrying to figure it out yourself
.
I actually stumbled upon acouple of your videos on YouTube
with the AI technology andknowing exactly what I'm looking
at or whatever and saw a coupleof your things and just started
listening to them and I waslike you know what that's
(17:44):
different and he's not like.
And I think one of the ones, thefirst ones I saw you were
targeting to like businessowners, and so it caught my eye
and I watched it and I juststarted thinking about it and I
guess my assumption with AA oranything like that was that
(18:04):
you're going to go there, you'regoing to sit around with
however many people are going tobe there, they're going to tell
you something's wrong with youand this is a disease and you
need to fix it.
And I was like, but I'm justnormal and nothing's wrong with
me.
And the way that you approachthat and to say that it is not a
disease, there's, you know,nothing wrong with you as a
person.
You've got to figure that,because this is the only drug or
(18:28):
poison that we market to ourkids or our adults, that this is
what you can do, like nobody'sgoing to market and say like,
hey, you just turned 21.
Let's go do some coke, you know, and stuff like that, or a pot
or whatever it is.
But around the world,especially here in the States,
it's advertised all over theplace.
It's advertised from early onand so you know, I think when I
(18:52):
saw your stuff and then divinginto more of it and then you
know getting in contact with youand reading the books, it just
made sense to me Because it wasyou can do it on your own if you
wanted.
You could not try to log in anddo the meetings and stuff like
that and just the group talksbut you weren't going to get the
full benefit of it.
(19:13):
Like hey, there's a communityof people just like me that are
wanting to better themselves.
Then it's not that stigma ofalcoholics synonymous or
anything like that.
It's a group wanting to benefiteach other and help each other
grow, and that's what I like.
(19:35):
I love watching businessseminars and stuff like that and
that's kind of the message thata lot of them do, and so it was
just the fact of the differentapproach the different way to
look at it, and just thecommunity.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
So all right, awesome .
So let's talk now about so youwent through the program, right,
the six weeks out of the housewith the wife.
Now you're sober, so let'sstart at the beginning of like
when you stop drinking alcohol.
So, because I know a lot ofpeople can struggle with like
the first week.
Even people in the programstruggle with it.
It's not, you know, this ain'tsome miracle cure, right?
(20:17):
You're going to go through somehell.
So what was the first week like?
What was the first month?
Like, why don't we start thereand then we'll just build up to
two and a half years?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
so.
So I first joined server clearand was, to be honest, like not
full-hearted into it.
Uh, I was doing it as to helpout, like to say say hey, show
my wife like, hey, yeah, let'sdo this.
And it was about two weeks inand I would still like not think
(20:48):
there's anything wrong and hada couple drinks with one of my
employees after work, justhanging out, not even thinking
that was like like on a Thursday.
On Friday I went with a buddydown to a baseball game down in
Houston, watched the Astros, hadtwo or three beers there.
(21:08):
When I came home my wife waslike you've been drinking.
I was like, yeah, but I wasn'tlike it was like two or three
beers like four hours ago andall this.
She's like then you're notdoing it, like you'd be fully
committed about it and it.
You know, that was kind of thefirst like strike one for me
(21:29):
with her and I still was justlike, okay, it was whatever, I
don't have a risk, fine, I'mlike not doing this like every
day.
I was fine, I'm not doing thislike every day, and it was tough
at first.
It was one of those where, justlike you, kind of feel in the
back of my mind.
I was like, well, I'm not goingto be able to hang out with
anybody.
(21:49):
Nobody's going to want to hangout with Sober John, I'm not
(22:14):
going to be the life of theparty or control a room or do
whatever I've been able to do,um, and so that part of it kind
of got with me a little bit Um,and that was.
That lasted for about maybe amonth, and then I, and then I,
um, about that month time iswhen I almost when I got kicked
out and that was, like I said,the eye-opener before, and then
that was August 20th, two and ahalf, almost three years ago,
and from that point on I wasjust like, okay, like I'm not
drinking, and, to be honest withyou, when my mind was done and
(22:38):
said, okay, I'm done with thisand I really want to focus on
this.
I haven't missed it.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And you went through the material a second time
during that six weeks.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Correct.
I read everything else again,watched some of the videos.
I was able to get on some ofthe chats and the talks and Zoom
calls and stuff, able to get onsome of the chats and then the
talks, the zoom calls and stuff.
A lot of times, you know, witheverybody scheduling stuff, it
just didn't kind of work out.
But I was just checking in andthe great thing with the group
on slack, uh, checking in witheverybody and telling, keeping
everybody motivated and what'sgoing on in your life and stuff,
(23:10):
um.
And then it just got to thepoint where, like, I would
briefly go through and kind ofrevisit some of the key points
in the books, um, and then justfocus on my focus on me and
focus on my kids and my businessand stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, so then.
Okay, so then can you?
Can you remember, like thefirst month of not drinking,
after you made that truedecision, the decision I always
talk about, that you've got tofreaking make and not keep
putting off?
Can you remember the firstmonth?
Yep, first month was.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
It went by really fast.
I remember that it went byreally fast and I actually
thought it was going to be a lotharder than it was, but I just
kept.
You know, I'm a big, like kindof planner as far as, like you
know, my day, you know bigworking out and stuff like that.
(24:03):
And so I set goals.
I set stuff, so I was settingdaily goals, I was setting
weekly goals, I was settingmonthly goals and you know I
would just mentally check thoseoff, check those off and look
forward to the next thing.
And you know, to be honest withyou, life was, was really busy,
so the days went by prettyquick.
Uh, after I made that, that uhdecision not to, you know, fully
(24:28):
vestigial took all the alcoholout of the store.
Um, I used to have a littlefridge for the customers took
that out, um, everything likethat.
Um, because half the time theemployees would drink it anyway.
But it was like, just, you know, nope, not going to do this.
I'm serious.
I told the people, my employees, like hey, you know us hanging
(24:50):
out and doing all that stuff isdone here.
We don't need to do this.
I want to make sure everybodygets home safe and everything's
fine.
And this is what I'm doing, I'mcommitted to doing, and
everybody went along with itRight, so this is awesome.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So, first, so you did exactly what I did and what I
recommend.
First month you immediatelyjust reset and then started
focusing on you and you startedsetting new goals weekly, daily,
monthly, getting back in thegym, fitness.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
So it was all about just making you better, not just
running away from alcohol, yeah, and it was and I've I'm always
, uh, I've always been big into,like you know, fitness and
everything like that, so that Ijust it was a my workouts just
ramped up, um, I didn't have torestart something or dedicate
myself in that aspect of my life, um, which I think helped me.
(25:37):
I was going into workouts andI'm ready to go, and let's go
hit this instead of like, if Igo work out on a Friday night or
Friday morning, sorry, orSaturday morning, I wasn't
feeling like crap going in thereand my workout's half-assed.
So that part of it was great,but it intensified.
But yeah, I just was focusingon me, focusing on what I needed
(26:04):
to do for my, my kids, uh, mywife, uh, and just proven to her
every day, like, hey, I'm, I'mdedicated to this.
Like, hey, I'm here to pick upthe kids every morning at seven,
I'm taking them to school,we're having lunch, like
nothing's changed in their dailylife, just nothing's changed in
their daily life.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Just I leave right when they go to bed and that was
um go ahead.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I'll say that was.
That was a little over a monthof doing that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So that was the first month you were.
You were really just likepicking up momentum.
So then, what about the nextsix months?
Can you remember that?
Yeah, I was going to say.
I find it really hard toremember, but go on, go on.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I think.
I mean there's certain.
I'm sure I'll miss out on someparts, but for that, for the
next few months, I guess Iproved myself to my wife because
I was let back in the houseno-transcript.
(27:00):
Prove to my kids and prove tomy wife that, hey, I'm the guy
that y'all need me to be.
And I'm going to prove that toyou in the next few months and
I'm going to be there.
I've always been a stickler onbeing on time.
If I say I'm going to dosomething or I'm going to be
somewhere, I'm there.
So I was there, but I was fullythere.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Whereas before I may not have been there.
Mind if I interrupt you.
Did there, whereas before I maynot have been there.
Mind if I interrupt you.
Uh, did you have a conversationabout that with your children?
Yep, because they're young.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So I just wondered if you, if you actually said this
to them yes, I did, and and theother thing that that made that
switch go off for me too, um,was that both of them told me
that they, they who I was before, and they were scared for me
and that kind of hit home.
(27:53):
And you know, I just keptthinking about that, especially
coming back home.
It was like you're never goingto see that guy again.
Like that is my goal is thatyou know you will to see that
guy again.
Like that is my goal is thatyou know you will never see that
guy.
I'll always be, you know, thedad that you need me to be and I
will be here and do everythingin my power for that.
(28:14):
But that guy that that you werescared if he was driving home,
okay, or whatever, he's gone, ohman.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You make me want to hug you.
I feel like I love you.
You're killing it All right, soand then, yes, so the six
months.
So what else was happening?
So six months?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
In that six months my relationship with my wife got a
lot stronger.
You know, it took a little time.
I had to prove to her that, hey, I'm serious, don't worry about
it.
In two months I'm going to behanging out with some buddies at
a bar or something like that.
And the great thing about itwas we actually had jewelry
business, so we had to do a lotof gala events.
(29:00):
So we get dressed up and we goto these big old events and
stuff, and we had two or threewithin six months and at these
events they're either just openbar or just a cash bar or
whatever, and no worries at all.
All of my friends that werethere, everybody knew me, they
(29:23):
knew what I was doing, 100%supportive, and that's the other
thing too.
I think most people are afraidthat people are going to just
shun them and everything.
Your real friends and your truepeople around you will support
you no matter what, and theydon't even worry about.
In fact, some of them just sayI'm not going to drink, you're
not drinking, I'm not drinking,no, you know.
And and that's that's when youkind of realize, kind of like
(29:46):
who's in your corner and yourfriends, like that.
But the great thing about theseevents, too, is, at first I was
like, okay, I got to be likelook like I have a drink, but I
don't.
So, like you know, give me theSprite, put a little lime in
there, or something like that.
Now give me a water, give me aSprite.
Now give me a water, give me aSprite.
(30:17):
I don't care.
And there's a lot of peoplethat I'm noticing recently, and
I'm sure everybody's beentalking about too, that don't
drink, or there, you know, Ihave to go up on this stage and
auction off this piece ofjewelry that we're doing for
this foundation or whatever, andyou don't have to worry about
me making an ass of myself orsaying something stupid, or you
know, or anything like that.
(30:37):
And so it was very refreshingand, once again, that six months
went pretty quick.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
So now, yeah, love it it, love it.
So relationships getting better, uh, everything's starting to
go in the right direction.
Now, yeah, what about now?
You know, because now we're twoand a half years, um, talk to
me about like this, this, this,this longer period, like this
long, because you've got somelong-term success in not
drinking.
Now, what else has changed?
What else is new?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Trying to think of what's new as far as anything to
deal with, kind of before andafter.
It's just a continuation.
To be honest with you, for meit's the same way, that same
mindset that I had in a monthand six months is I actually
don't think about it, I don'tthink, like I said before, from
the time I dedicate, I'm done.
(31:32):
And reading the books again andeverything like that, and
knowing what alcohol is anddusty, I'm done.
I don't think about it, I don'tmiss it, I don't.
I couldn't tell you what ittasted like, anything like that.
And, like I said, I have myfamily, I have friends, I have
guys I play golf with on theweekends and they'll have one or
two beers and you know theyorder me a Sprite if I'm not
(31:54):
there and they give meeverything.
So I'm, you know, don't miss it, don't think about it.
I just look forward and set newgoals, you know family goals,
personal goals, business goals,um, and I just know that, hey,
I'm getting up every day andgoing to give this day the best,
(32:14):
john, I can, because I don'thave to worry about feeling like
crap.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
There's a topic we're not talking about, Um.
How have you found performancefor you personally in the
business world since stoppingyour game?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Business world's been really good.
I never really.
It never really affected melike in the day-to-day business.
I used that more of a stressrelease after work.
So unless I was somewhere inthe area and people knew me and
they saw me, then that would bethe only way it would affect.
Like I would never be out theredealing with customers having a
(32:52):
drink or anything like that.
So most people had no clue anddidn't know it was that big of a
deal.
Unless we always go to thesegala events.
It seems like going like littleseasons, so you have four or
five in a row and within twomonths and then it's a break and
then again or you see peopleout at restaurants and stuff
like that.
But as far as like my kind ofrededication to the business, it
(33:14):
definitely went up because Iwas drinking to deal with the
stress or to get away from someof the stress.
But I also like hanging outbecause a couple of my employees
are family members, the restare not, and just being one of
the guys and they don't have tothink of me as a boss.
We're just hanging out, talking, discussing anything and
(33:36):
everything and I like that andthat's why I was like when I
would do that.
I didn't want that little thingto end, but I just knew that it
needed to.
But so now it's betterdecisions.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
As far as long-term planning with the store, with
the business, I mean, we'redoing exceptionally well and
looking forward to the future doyou think your business has
grown more in the past two and ahalf years sober than it would
have done if you had continueddrinking?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
yeah, without a doubt .
Um, I think the some of thedecisions that I, that we have
made, and I've made and been apart of in the last two years
Maybe I wouldn't have pulled thetrigger on some of those, maybe
I wouldn't have just been toolazy to do it or not even care,
or actually, you know, want togo to these certain meetings and
(34:36):
different opportunities thatwe've had.
So, yeah, I definitely thinkthat the business has grown
exponentially, with me beingfully invested.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah, love it, love it.
Just wanted to bring that upbecause there's the intangible
ROIs of not drinking alcohol,but then there's a true, real
financial ROI as well, andespecially for a business owner
like yourself, I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Well, the other financial ROI.
My wife and I talked about thisthe other day.
It's like we go out.
It's so much cheaper Right.
Yeah, I bet you know you don'thave like a $100 alcohol tab or
whatever it's going to be andyou know so there's that benefit
there too.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
So all right.
So I don't want this to becomea sales pitch for the program,
right?
So if people want to join aprogram that they know where to
go, they just go to the websitebook, go to SoberGlittercom.
They can, they can apply there.
But I want you, I want you, Iwant you to give this from your
perspective and not from aprogram's perspective, right?
So what advice would you giveto somebody who is they know
(35:45):
alcohol, they, you know in avery similar situation to you,
because I know your story.
I know that there will bemillions of people that have got
your story.
You know they're successful,it's crept up on them.
Family's the most importantthing to them.
What advice would you give tothem?
If they, if they know they'redrinking too much, they want to
change, they don't know what todo about it, but don't sell the
program, right?
(36:07):
What advice would you give tothem?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I would say that everybody knows deep down, when
there's a problem, there's anissue with whatever that issue
may be, and you're going to knowlike, hey, this is, I need to
really get a hold of this, Ineed to really get a hold of
this, I need to stop this, andloved ones can tell you.
You can see that.
But until you actuallyunderstand it and you feel that
(36:32):
there's something that you needto do, why not do it?
I mean, I think I said this onthe last video.
I did.
It ended with it.
It was like why not do it foryourself?
This is the one thing that youcan be selfish with, because you
know it's your life.
You got one.
Go around at this and you mightas well take advantage of it
and enjoy every aspect of yourlife with this and to be there
(36:56):
for the people that truly loveyou and that you love and you
want to support and be around.
You owe it to yourself to do it.
You know you will.
You'll never know how greatyour life can be if you don't do
it, if you don't go out apercent in.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Man, that's a good one, that's a good, you don't
know.
Yeah, I speak to a lot ofpeople, man, and they're like oh
yeah, it's not affecting this,it's not you, this is all right,
that's all right.
And I'm like you don't know howgood it will be when you don't
drink.
You just don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
You're 100% right.
And the other thing too ishindsight is 20-20, right.
It's not effective enough toseparate yourself from that and
you're like, oh well, maybe itdid feel it was bothering me, it
was affecting this and this andthis.
You're not going to be able tosee it.
When you're in it, you getblinders on.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So what stops people from stopping is fear, and it's
all the fears that you mentionedearlier.
So you said things like how amI going to be the life and soul
of the party?
I can't remember.
There was a couple of otherthings you mentioned like that
and then that's you know, kindof what we address in the
material is like breaking thesefears and these false beliefs
down.
So what would you say tosomebody who wants to change?
(38:04):
But then there's this part ofthem that's like I just don't
think I'm ready.
I think their life's betterwith drinking.
And then there's that fearBecause I had it, you've had it,
every single drinker gets it.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I would say that you know what that person that you
feel that you're going to missout on stuff, that you're not
going to be that life of thatparty You're not going to be.
You know the person that you,that most people love you for,
you already are that person Deepdown.
You are that person.
You don't need the alcohol toget it out of you.
You know you can still.
I still, you know, will commanda room, command a table and
(38:46):
have everybody wanting to talkto me and I'll talk to them.
Where before I thought I had tohave alcohol, I had to be that
guy.
Everybody's going to make funof me or anything.
That's not the case at all.
You know people will love youfor you.
You will love you for who youare and you know who you are
deep down and you don't needliquid encouragement or help or
(39:06):
a boost to give that person toeverybody.
People love you for who you are.
You don't need to do anythingelse.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by
Sober Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
Quit drinking alcohol or losehis family forever.
Two and a half years ago, johnwas forced to make the most
important decision he'd everfaced.
From the outside, it lookedlike he had it all A booming
business, financial success anda beautiful, beautiful family.
John was living what many wouldconsider to be the great
American dream, but behindclosed doors John was fighting a
(00:43):
silent war.
The same war millions battleevery single day.
Alcohol.
John had tried to quit moretimes than he could count, but
nothing worked and theconsequences they just kept
getting worse.
He managed to stop drinkingalone, but then it crept back in
and one night, his wife.
She gave him the ultimatum, andthis shattered everything.
John, it is the family or thealcohol.
(01:05):
His wife kicked him out of thehouse and gave him six weeks.
Six weeks to do somethingdifferent.
Six weeks to fix what he hadn'tbeen able to fix in decades.
And that was the breaking point.
But it was also the turningpoint.
See, what happened over thenext few weeks completely
changed the trajectory of John'slife in a way that most people
will never get to experience,and that's when John reached out
(01:26):
to me.
That's when John and I beganworking together, and today, two
and a half years later, notonly has John stayed sober, he
doesn't even think about alcoholanymore.
So what happened in those sixweeks?
What was the shift that madeeverything else just click into
place?
And how did John go from thisrock bottom to building a life
that most people only dream of?
(01:46):
His relationships are betterthan ever, he's fitter than ever
and his wife is so proud of him.
Well, in this interview, you'regoing to hear it all the raw
truth, the mindset shift and theexact approach that finally
worked.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, we've got John joining us.
So John has been in the programfor two and a half years now.
We actually did an interviewlike this about two years ago.
(02:08):
He's still not drunk, and Iwanted him to come on today to
really talk more about thelong-term effects of stopping
drinking, because five months isgreat, right, and stopping
drinking for five months islife-changing, but two and a
half years, I mean this is wherethe major changes really start
coming, start coming.
So rather than me preaching toyou because I've been preaching
it until I'm blue in the face Iwanted john to come back on the
(02:30):
channel to really share hisjourney one more time and talk
to you all about the long-termbenefits that he's found,
because two and a half years, Imean, that's getting serious now
and that's a great achievement,john.
So firstly, congratulations,I'm so proud of you and, and yes
, welcome John, thanks forcoming back.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Thanks for having me, Leon.
It's super exciting to be back.
And, yeah, thanks for thecongratulations.
For two and a half years, it'skind of weird.
I was talking to my wife theother day and it doesn't seem
like it's been that long, but inother times it seems like it's
been.
It felt like I've never drank.
It's still a totally differentlife thing.
So, yes, it's been a blessingand enjoying every day Awesome.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So yeah, so for those of you.
As for those people, thatdidn't watch the previous video.
Who are you, john?
What do?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
you do.
I live in Texas in the UnitedStates.
I'm a business owner on acouple of jewelry stores here
just outside the Houston area.
It's been family-run since 1986, second generation, I have two
great kids.
I have a daughter and a son andjust a very busy life.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
So let's talk about the drinking.
So, yeah, when did it start foryou like, yeah, how did alcohol
get into your life?
Like, what's the?
What was the journey there?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
uh, alcohol pretty much has been in my life, my
whole life.
Uh, I have I'm from a family ofum not so much alcohol, but
just people drinking, and youknow, I'm sure it's in every
part of the world, but in theUnited States it's almost like,
you know, you turn 21 and youstart drinking, or you're 18 at
the time.
Whenever you start drinking,it's just what you're supposed
(04:13):
to do and that's what it's anorm for an adult.
And that was not.
That was the same case with myfamily Grew up with some aunts
and uncles and everything thatworked in the beer business in
different aspects, differentroles, and so every event,
gathering, whatever there wasalways beer, there's always
alcohol.
So I just grew up with it andcontinued it through college and
(04:35):
then after college and, likeeverybody would do it, you use
it as a stress release, you useit as a way to just kind of open
up and have fun and everythinglike that.
And it started to take a toll alittle bit on me in different
relationships in my life.
(04:55):
At the time my wife and I hadbeen married for roughly about
14 years 14 years and shedoesn't drink as much as I did
hardly at all.
So at different events.
I was always the one that youknow she was making sure that I
(05:16):
didn't embarrass myself or doanything like that.
And you know we always justmade sure that everything was
okay.
And it got to the point wheremy drinking was more regularly
and it started off being a smallbusiness owner, especially
retail.
Christmas time it's usuallystressful, and so it started at
Christmas time like after we getdone with work, some employees
(05:36):
and I would sit down and haveone or two drinks after work
just to de-stress, talk aboutthe day.
And that led to Christmas andthen continued on through the
rest of the year, the next year,and it just got to the point
where even I can look at it andbe like, okay, this is way too
(05:57):
much.
And she kept telling me and,you know, trying to help me and
everything.
And it got to the point whereit just my drinking kind of just
put a wedge in between us andshe kicked me out of the house.
And she kicked me out of thehouse for six weeks and to make
(06:21):
sure that I was, you know, Ineeded to take care of myself
and that she was serious aboutthis.
And until then, to be honestwith you everything.
She said like try to stop foryou know two months, try to stop
for this.
Just you know, put the familyfirst and everything.
I was just okay, fine, but Iwasn't fully committed Because I
was like I'll just do this forhowever long she said to do it,
(06:42):
and then we'll be done and thenI can go hang out and drink and
have fun with my friends.
And it wasn't you know where Iwas getting, just you know,
drunk all the time.
It was just a few drinks hereand there and stuff, but it just
kept adding up.
And it wasn't until then that Iwas just like, oh crap, like
you're about to just ruin yourlife.
You're about to just ruin yourlife and everything so far, to
(07:04):
that point that I worked up forand I dreamed of as a kid, with
having a successful business andhaving a family and having my
son, especially my daughter, myson looking up to me and seeing
me doing all this and I didn'twant that and that was the eye
opener and that's.
I'd actually started SoberClear before that, but we talked
(07:26):
before.
I wasn't fully committed intoit until then.
And then I reread all the books, did all the chats, did
everything like that and it wasamazing to me just the
transformation.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
So for you it was just a part of everyday life for
a long time, no big problems,and it sounds like you can't
even remember when it actuallyjust started getting into a
problem.
It was just like this thingthat just crept up and up, and
up, and up and up and then allof a sudden there were like
these wake up calls of like whoa, how did I get here?
It was sneaky, how did I gethere?
(08:00):
Right, and you know, sneaky.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, and everybody that's gone through this has
understand and had those timeswhere you're just like you know,
you get up the next day, you goto work or you go somewhere
else and you're like, okay, Ican't do that anymore, this was
stupid or whatever.
And then you know it's not thelast time you do it, or whatever
the case may be.
(08:23):
But yeah, and just would slowly, just kind of slowly, creep up
and keep happening more often,more frequently, and we would
keep having these talks, thesame talks, and you know, like
well, I guess what they say withguys you got to just tell me to
my face, and she did, and Ididn't see the signs, and so
when she kicked me out of thehouse, that was the wake and so,
um, when she kicked me out ofthe house, that was the wake up
(08:44):
call.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Jason Vale Mm-hmm, yeah, but listen, so we, we, we,
we should talk about thisfurther because, uh, I speak to
a lot of people who are insimilar situations to yourself,
where the wives are mad,husbands are mad, you know they,
they get it, they're, you know,threatening divorce, or divorce
has happened, and then theycome to me wanting to change,
and I always tell them that youcan't do this for your wife,
(09:08):
you've got to do this foryourself, right, and it's never
going to work.
And what happened to you isthat you said that you kept
having these conversations withyour wife.
She'd say, john, you got tochange, and then you would
change, but you were doing itfor your wife, right, and then,
and then, and then, a monthlater, you go back to it, cycle
repeats.
So so something shifted right,you, you must have done it for
(09:29):
yourself this time, because you,you've lasted two and a half
years.
So what changed there?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
like in your mindset my mindset was I didn't want to
lose my family.
I didn't want to be.
You know I'm.
I was fortunate enough, my dadpassed away a few years ago, but
my parents were married for 43years, so I had both mom and dad
in my house growing up and knowthe great joy that I had
(09:53):
growing up with that, and I didnot want to have my kids where
they didn't have dad at home.
It tore me up.
Every day I would still do thedaily things.
I'd pick them up, take them toschool, drop them off, go to
work, bring them home, havedinner and then I would leave
(10:15):
and that killed me and just thatthought of, hey, everything
that you've worked forpersonally is going to be gone.
If you know, take thisseriously and kind of like.
When I sent the text throughthe group chat, just checking in
, I started to really like theperson I was starting to see in
(10:36):
the mirror and understand that,hey, I've said this before to my
wife, to my family my mom, mybrothers and know that I wasn't
fully invested in it and I wasjust given lip service.
And now that I'm fully investedinto it, I would sit down and
(10:56):
look at myself in the mirror andbe like you know, one day at a
time, one step at a time, and Istarted to really like who I was
again.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
One day at a time.
Don't say that, man.
That's what they say in AA.
Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I'm an athlete, so it's like one shot at a time.
I play baseball, one pitch at atime, everything like that.
It's a cliche, but it's like itworks for everything.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Nah, I'm winding you up.
So how about this?
We can say, like it, you know,try to get one percent better
every day.
There we go, there we go, loveit, love it.
Okay.
So so for you, what reallyhappened right is that I would
say the turning point for youwas yeah, the wife kicked you
out, but it I mean you.
I think you played it out.
If I continue on this path, Iwill lose everything I built, my
(11:42):
family will be gone and for you, you're your family man.
It sounds like family comesfirst, and I'm sure the only
reason why you do your businessin the first place is to provide
for your family.
They're the most importantthing to you.
So you played it forward andrealized shit like if I do not
do something about this, it'sI'm done for correct.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, and 100% of that.
And I mean, and my business wasstarted by my dad, so it's a
family business, so we're allabout making sure that
everything's about your familyand everything like that.
And especially in my family, asfar as my community that we've
been in for over 40 years havethat reputation or that stigma
(12:29):
of you know that I wasself-centered in this aspect of
my life and that I did not wantto have my kids have that
negative feeling about me and Iwanted to be a bigger role model
, because when this was allhappening, my daughter was 13,
14, my son was 10, you know, andme and my son, you know, do a
(12:50):
lot of stuff together and Ididn't want him to remember dad
like that and then kind of havethat distant relationship with
me.
So that was really the kick inthe pants I needed and it was
crazy that it just after that,like bulb, went off.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
It was easy it is easy, yeah, well, um, man, you
make me so proud, like I feeljust so satisfied hearing all of
this, like you were on theverge of losing your family and
you turned it all around, andI'm just so, um, yeah, I feel so
proud of you I don't know ifthat's the right way.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
But I will say this, though that, like um and we
talked several years ago aboutthis is that joining the program
at all intents, like hey, I'mgonna do this, we can do this.
As you know, I can take care ofthis myself and, after
rereading everything again,fully committed, the way that
you approach stuff and the waythat the program approaches this
(13:55):
is, in opinion, revolutionary,in the fact that you're
understanding and telling peoplelike, hey, there's nothing
wrong with you, you're not theproblem, you don't have a
disease, you don't have anythinglike this, you know, it's just.
This is a way that you have tocontrol your mind to understand
that.
And as soon as you know likeand realize like, understand
(14:22):
that.
And as soon as you know likeand realize like, from a month
in, I did not miss alcohol, likeI, to this day, can go to
restaurants, go to bars, go tostuff like that.
And at the first few months ofdoing this, my friends and
family were like, oh, we don'tneed to go there, we don't ask,
no, you go, and if you want tohave a drink, have a drink, I
don't care, I'm getting a Spriteor water and you know it
doesn't bother me at all and Ican tell you that the next
(14:46):
mornings are awesome.
You know, I always used to wakeup with that anxiety.
I'd call it.
I would always worry about whatI said or what I did, and
especially in this area, being abusiness owner and I know a lot
of people it's like, did I justmake an ass out of myself last
night, or did I say something atthis gala event that I was at,
that pissed somebody off, youknow, and I don't have to worry
(15:09):
about that, you know, if I getup in the morning, I'm tired.
Just because I'm tired, youknow, it's not anything that I,
you know, have a major hangovercause I was an idiot the night
before or whatever.
And that is one of the bestfeelings, you know, is getting
up, knowing that I'm clearminded.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Um, you know I'm, I'm ready to tackle the day or do
whatever I need to do.
Love it, love it.
Did you ever consider going toAA?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No, no, I um, maybe a , maybe a year before joining
Sober Clear, um, my wife waslike, hey, let's see if we can
just both of us like just stopdrinking for a month, whatever.
Okay, you know you do the dryJanuary, whatever it is, and
I've always been the guy thatthey're type person that I'm
(16:03):
going to take care of my.
I can do it myself and I don'tneed somebody to to tell me or
tell me what's wrong with me orwhat I need to fix or anything
like that.
I can figure that out.
So no, because initially I'msure, like most people, you
think like I'm not an alcoholic.
I don't have a drink, I don'tget up in the morning and have
to crack a beer and pour in mycereal or you know, whatever the
(16:25):
case may be.
But I've learned that you knowthere's different definitions of
alcoholism, you know alcoholabuse and everything like that.
So, but no, I never had enteredmy mind to do AA or go to any
kind of meetings or everythinglike that.
But no, I never had entered mymind to do AA or go to any kind
of meetings or anything likethat.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Now, you just made a comment Because a lot of people
feel this way.
You said I would never go therebecause I'm a strong man, I can
do it myself.
But you did end up getting myhelp, so you did end up reaching
out for help in the end.
So what shifted there?
What made you?
You actually say do you knowwhat?
I can't do this on my own,because there's a lot, there's a
(17:08):
lot of people out there thatfeel the same way you do, and
then they don't have the courageto reach out and ask for help.
And there's nothing wrong withasking for help no 100, you're
correct on that.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I've learned that as I've gotten older, with the
different things We'll talkabout mental health or therapy
and talking to people and nottrying to figure it out yourself
.
I actually stumbled upon acouple of your videos on YouTube
with the AI technology andknowing exactly what I'm looking
at or whatever and saw a coupleof your things and just started
listening to them and I waslike you know what that's
(17:44):
different and he's not like.
And I think one of the ones, thefirst ones I saw you were
targeting to like businessowners, and so it caught my eye
and I watched it and I juststarted thinking about it and I
guess my assumption with AA oranything like that was that
(18:04):
you're going to go there, you'regoing to sit around with
however many people are going tobe there, they're going to tell
you something's wrong with youand this is a disease and you
need to fix it.
And I was like, but I'm justnormal and nothing's wrong with
me.
And the way that you approachthat and to say that it is not a
disease, there's, you know,nothing wrong with you as a
person.
You've got to figure that,because this is the only drug or
(18:28):
poison that we market to ourkids or our adults, that this is
what you can do, like nobody'sgoing to market and say like,
hey, you just turned 21.
Let's go do some coke, you know, and stuff like that, or a pot
or whatever it is.
But around the world,especially here in the States,
it's advertised all over theplace.
It's advertised from early onand so you know, I think when I
(18:52):
saw your stuff and then divinginto more of it and then you
know getting in contact with youand reading the books, it just
made sense to me Because it wasyou can do it on your own if you
wanted.
You could not try to log in anddo the meetings and stuff like
that and just the group talksbut you weren't going to get the
full benefit of it.
(19:13):
Like hey, there's a communityof people just like me that are
wanting to better themselves.
Then it's not that stigma ofalcoholics synonymous or
anything like that.
It's a group wanting to benefiteach other and help each other
grow, and that's what I like.
(19:35):
I love watching businessseminars and stuff like that and
that's kind of the message thata lot of them do, and so it was
just the fact of the differentapproach the different way to
look at it, and just thecommunity.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
So all right, awesome .
So let's talk now about so youwent through the program, right,
the six weeks out of the housewith the wife.
Now you're sober, so let'sstart at the beginning of like
when you stop drinking alcohol.
So, because I know a lot ofpeople can struggle with like
the first week.
Even people in the programstruggle with it.
It's not, you know, this ain'tsome miracle cure, right?
(20:17):
You're going to go through somehell.
So what was the first week like?
What was the first month?
Like, why don't we start thereand then we'll just build up to
two and a half years?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
so.
So I first joined server clearand was, to be honest, like not
full-hearted into it.
Uh, I was doing it as to helpout, like to say say hey, show
my wife like, hey, yeah, let'sdo this.
And it was about two weeks inand I would still like not think
(20:48):
there's anything wrong and hada couple drinks with one of my
employees after work, justhanging out, not even thinking
that was like like on a Thursday.
On Friday I went with a buddydown to a baseball game down in
Houston, watched the Astros, hadtwo or three beers there.
(21:08):
When I came home my wife waslike you've been drinking.
I was like, yeah, but I wasn'tlike it was like two or three
beers like four hours ago andall this.
She's like then you're notdoing it, like you'd be fully
committed about it and it.
You know, that was kind of thefirst like strike one for me
(21:29):
with her and I still was justlike, okay, it was whatever, I
don't have a risk, fine, I'mlike not doing this like every
day.
I was fine, I'm not doing thislike every day, and it was tough
at first.
It was one of those where, justlike you, kind of feel in the
back of my mind.
I was like, well, I'm not goingto be able to hang out with
anybody.
(21:49):
Nobody's going to want to hangout with Sober John, I'm not
(22:14):
going to be the life of theparty or control a room or do
whatever I've been able to do,um, and so that part of it kind
of got with me a little bit Um,and that was.
That lasted for about maybe amonth, and then I, and then I,
um, about that month time iswhen I almost when I got kicked
out and that was, like I said,the eye-opener before, and then
that was August 20th, two and ahalf, almost three years ago,
and from that point on I wasjust like, okay, like I'm not
drinking, and, to be honest withyou, when my mind was done and
(22:38):
said, okay, I'm done with thisand I really want to focus on
this.
I haven't missed it.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And you went through the material a second time
during that six weeks.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Correct.
I read everything else again,watched some of the videos.
I was able to get on some ofthe chats and the talks and Zoom
calls and stuff, able to get onsome of the chats and then the
talks, the zoom calls and stuff.
A lot of times, you know, witheverybody scheduling stuff, it
just didn't kind of work out.
But I was just checking in andthe great thing with the group
on slack, uh, checking in witheverybody and telling, keeping
everybody motivated and what'sgoing on in your life and stuff,
(23:10):
um.
And then it just got to thepoint where, like, I would
briefly go through and kind ofrevisit some of the key points
in the books, um, and then justfocus on my focus on me and
focus on my kids and my businessand stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, so then.
Okay, so then can you?
Can you remember, like thefirst month of not drinking,
after you made that truedecision, the decision I always
talk about, that you've got tofreaking make and not keep
putting off?
Can you remember the firstmonth?
Yep, first month was.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
It went by really fast.
I remember that it went byreally fast and I actually
thought it was going to be a lotharder than it was, but I just
kept.
You know, I'm a big, like kindof planner as far as, like you
know, my day, you know bigworking out and stuff like that.
(24:03):
And so I set goals.
I set stuff, so I was settingdaily goals, I was setting
weekly goals, I was settingmonthly goals and you know I
would just mentally check thoseoff, check those off and look
forward to the next thing.
And you know, to be honest withyou, life was, was really busy,
so the days went by prettyquick.
Uh, after I made that, that uhdecision not to, you know, fully
(24:28):
vestigial took all the alcoholout of the store.
Um, I used to have a littlefridge for the customers took
that out, um, everything likethat.
Um, because half the time theemployees would drink it anyway.
But it was like, just, you know, nope, not going to do this.
I'm serious.
I told the people, my employees, like hey, you know us hanging
(24:50):
out and doing all that stuff isdone here.
We don't need to do this.
I want to make sure everybodygets home safe and everything's
fine.
And this is what I'm doing, I'mcommitted to doing, and
everybody went along with itRight, so this is awesome.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So, first, so you did exactly what I did and what I
recommend.
First month you immediatelyjust reset and then started
focusing on you and you startedsetting new goals weekly, daily,
monthly, getting back in thegym, fitness.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
So it was all about just making you better, not just
running away from alcohol, yeah, and it was and I've I'm always
, uh, I've always been big into,like you know, fitness and
everything like that, so that Ijust it was a my workouts just
ramped up, um, I didn't have torestart something or dedicate
myself in that aspect of my life, um, which I think helped me.
(25:37):
I was going into workouts andI'm ready to go, and let's go
hit this instead of like, if Igo work out on a Friday night or
Friday morning, sorry, orSaturday morning, I wasn't
feeling like crap going in thereand my workout's half-assed.
So that part of it was great,but it intensified.
But yeah, I just was focusingon me, focusing on what I needed
(26:04):
to do for my, my kids, uh, mywife, uh, and just proven to her
every day, like, hey, I'm, I'mdedicated to this.
Like, hey, I'm here to pick upthe kids every morning at seven,
I'm taking them to school,we're having lunch, like
nothing's changed in their dailylife, just nothing's changed in
their daily life.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Just I leave right when they go to bed and that was
um go ahead.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I'll say that was.
That was a little over a monthof doing that.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So that was the first month you were.
You were really just likepicking up momentum.
So then, what about the nextsix months?
Can you remember that?
Yeah, I was going to say.
I find it really hard toremember, but go on, go on.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I think.
I mean there's certain.
I'm sure I'll miss out on someparts, but for that, for the
next few months, I guess Iproved myself to my wife because
I was let back in the houseno-transcript.
(27:00):
Prove to my kids and prove tomy wife that, hey, I'm the guy
that y'all need me to be.
And I'm going to prove that toyou in the next few months and
I'm going to be there.
I've always been a stickler onbeing on time.
If I say I'm going to dosomething or I'm going to be
somewhere, I'm there.
So I was there, but I was fullythere.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Whereas before I may not have been there.
Mind if I interrupt you.
Did there, whereas before I maynot have been there.
Mind if I interrupt you.
Uh, did you have a conversationabout that with your children?
Yep, because they're young.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So I just wondered if you, if you actually said this
to them yes, I did, and and theother thing that that made that
switch go off for me too, um,was that both of them told me
that they, they who I was before, and they were scared for me
and that kind of hit home.
(27:53):
And you know, I just keptthinking about that, especially
coming back home.
It was like you're never goingto see that guy again.
Like that is my goal is thatyou know you will to see that
guy again.
Like that is my goal is thatyou know you will never see that
guy.
I'll always be, you know, thedad that you need me to be and I
will be here and do everythingin my power for that.
(28:14):
But that guy that that you werescared if he was driving home,
okay, or whatever, he's gone, ohman.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You make me want to hug you.
I feel like I love you.
You're killing it All right, soand then, yes, so the six
months.
So what else was happening?
So six months?
Speaker 2 (28:39):
In that six months my relationship with my wife got a
lot stronger.
You know, it took a little time.
I had to prove to her that, hey, I'm serious, don't worry about
it.
In two months I'm going to behanging out with some buddies at
a bar or something like that.
And the great thing about itwas we actually had jewelry
business, so we had to do a lotof gala events.
(29:00):
So we get dressed up and we goto these big old events and
stuff, and we had two or threewithin six months and at these
events they're either just openbar or just a cash bar or
whatever, and no worries at all.
All of my friends that werethere, everybody knew me, they
(29:23):
knew what I was doing, 100%supportive, and that's the other
thing too.
I think most people are afraidthat people are going to just
shun them and everything.
Your real friends and your truepeople around you will support
you no matter what, and theydon't even worry about.
In fact, some of them just sayI'm not going to drink, you're
not drinking, I'm not drinking,no, you know.
And and that's that's when youkind of realize, kind of like
(29:46):
who's in your corner and yourfriends, like that.
But the great thing about theseevents, too, is, at first I was
like, okay, I got to be likelook like I have a drink, but I
don't.
So, like you know, give me theSprite, put a little lime in
there, or something like that.
Now give me a water, give me aSprite.
Now give me a water, give me aSprite.
(30:17):
I don't care.
And there's a lot of peoplethat I'm noticing recently, and
I'm sure everybody's beentalking about too, that don't
drink, or there, you know, Ihave to go up on this stage and
auction off this piece ofjewelry that we're doing for
this foundation or whatever, andyou don't have to worry about
me making an ass of myself orsaying something stupid, or you
know, or anything like that.
(30:37):
And so it was very refreshingand, once again, that six months
went pretty quick.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
So now, yeah, love it it, love it.
So relationships getting better, uh, everything's starting to
go in the right direction.
Now, yeah, what about now?
You know, because now we're twoand a half years, um, talk to
me about like this, this, this,this longer period, like this
long, because you've got somelong-term success in not
drinking.
Now, what else has changed?
What else is new?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Trying to think of what's new as far as anything to
deal with, kind of before andafter.
It's just a continuation.
To be honest with you, for meit's the same way, that same
mindset that I had in a monthand six months is I actually
don't think about it, I don'tthink, like I said before, from
the time I dedicate, I'm done.
(31:32):
And reading the books again andeverything like that, and
knowing what alcohol is anddusty, I'm done.
I don't think about it, I don'tmiss it, I don't.
I couldn't tell you what ittasted like, anything like that.
And, like I said, I have myfamily, I have friends, I have
guys I play golf with on theweekends and they'll have one or
two beers and you know theyorder me a Sprite if I'm not
(31:54):
there and they give meeverything.
So I'm, you know, don't miss it, don't think about it.
I just look forward and set newgoals, you know family goals,
personal goals, business goals,um, and I just know that, hey,
I'm getting up every day andgoing to give this day the best,
(32:14):
john, I can, because I don'thave to worry about feeling like
crap.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
There's a topic we're not talking about, Um.
How have you found performancefor you personally in the
business world since stoppingyour game?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Business world's been really good.
I never really.
It never really affected melike in the day-to-day business.
I used that more of a stressrelease after work.
So unless I was somewhere inthe area and people knew me and
they saw me, then that would bethe only way it would affect.
Like I would never be out theredealing with customers having a
(32:52):
drink or anything like that.
So most people had no clue anddidn't know it was that big of a
deal.
Unless we always go to thesegala events.
It seems like going like littleseasons, so you have four or
five in a row and within twomonths and then it's a break and
then again or you see peopleout at restaurants and stuff
like that.
But as far as like my kind ofrededication to the business, it
(33:14):
definitely went up because Iwas drinking to deal with the
stress or to get away from someof the stress.
But I also like hanging outbecause a couple of my employees
are family members, the restare not, and just being one of
the guys and they don't have tothink of me as a boss.
We're just hanging out, talking, discussing anything and
(33:36):
everything and I like that andthat's why I was like when I
would do that.
I didn't want that little thingto end, but I just knew that it
needed to.
But so now it's betterdecisions.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
As far as long-term planning with the store, with
the business, I mean, we'redoing exceptionally well and
looking forward to the future doyou think your business has
grown more in the past two and ahalf years sober than it would
have done if you had continueddrinking?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
yeah, without a doubt .
Um, I think the some of thedecisions that I, that we have
made, and I've made and been apart of in the last two years
Maybe I wouldn't have pulled thetrigger on some of those, maybe
I wouldn't have just been toolazy to do it or not even care,
or actually, you know, want togo to these certain meetings and
(34:36):
different opportunities thatwe've had.
So, yeah, I definitely thinkthat the business has grown
exponentially, with me beingfully invested.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Yeah, love it, love it.
Just wanted to bring that upbecause there's the intangible
ROIs of not drinking alcohol,but then there's a true, real
financial ROI as well, andespecially for a business owner
like yourself, I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Well, the other financial ROI.
My wife and I talked about thisthe other day.
It's like we go out.
It's so much cheaper Right.
Yeah, I bet you know you don'thave like a $100 alcohol tab or
whatever it's going to be andyou know so there's that benefit
there too.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
So all right.
So I don't want this to becomea sales pitch for the program,
right?
So if people want to join aprogram that they know where to
go, they just go to the websitebook, go to SoberGlittercom.
They can, they can apply there.
But I want you, I want you, Iwant you to give this from your
perspective and not from aprogram's perspective, right?
So what advice would you giveto somebody who is they know
(35:45):
alcohol, they, you know in avery similar situation to you,
because I know your story.
I know that there will bemillions of people that have got
your story.
You know they're successful,it's crept up on them.
Family's the most importantthing to them.
What advice would you give tothem?
If they, if they know they'redrinking too much, they want to
change, they don't know what todo about it, but don't sell the
program, right?
(36:07):
What advice would you give tothem?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I would say that everybody knows deep down, when
there's a problem, there's anissue with whatever that issue
may be, and you're going to knowlike, hey, this is, I need to
really get a hold of this, Ineed to really get a hold of
this, I need to stop this, andloved ones can tell you.
You can see that.
But until you actuallyunderstand it and you feel that
(36:32):
there's something that you needto do, why not do it?
I mean, I think I said this onthe last video.
I did.
It ended with it.
It was like why not do it foryourself?
This is the one thing that youcan be selfish with, because you
know it's your life.
You got one.
Go around at this and you mightas well take advantage of it
and enjoy every aspect of yourlife with this and to be there
(36:56):
for the people that truly loveyou and that you love and you
want to support and be around.
You owe it to yourself to do it.
You know you will.
You'll never know how greatyour life can be if you don't do
it, if you don't go out apercent in.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Man, that's a good one, that's a good, you don't
know.
Yeah, I speak to a lot ofpeople, man, and they're like oh
yeah, it's not affecting this,it's not you, this is all right,
that's all right.
And I'm like you don't know howgood it will be when you don't
drink.
You just don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
You're 100% right.
And the other thing too ishindsight is 20-20, right.
It's not effective enough toseparate yourself from that and
you're like, oh well, maybe itdid feel it was bothering me, it
was affecting this and this andthis.
You're not going to be able tosee it.
When you're in it, you getblinders on.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So what stops people from stopping is fear, and it's
all the fears that you mentionedearlier.
So you said things like how amI going to be the life and soul
of the party?
I can't remember.
There was a couple of otherthings you mentioned like that
and then that's you know, kindof what we address in the
material is like breaking thesefears and these false beliefs
down.
So what would you say tosomebody who wants to change?
(38:04):
But then there's this part ofthem that's like I just don't
think I'm ready.
I think their life's betterwith drinking.
And then there's that fearBecause I had it, you've had it,
every single drinker gets it.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (38:18):
I would say that you know what that person that you
feel that you're going to missout on stuff, that you're not
going to be that life of thatparty You're not going to be.
You know the person that you,that most people love you for,
you already are that person Deepdown.
You are that person.
You don't need the alcohol toget it out of you.
You know you can still.
I still, you know, will commanda room, command a table and
(38:46):
have everybody wanting to talkto me and I'll talk to them.
Where before I thought I had tohave alcohol, I had to be that
guy.
Everybody's going to make funof me or anything.
That's not the case at all.
You know people will love youfor you.
You will love you for who youare and you know who you are
deep down and you don't needliquid encouragement or help or
(39:06):
a boost to give that person toeverybody.
People love you for who you are.
You don't need to do anythingelse.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking Podcast by
Sober Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
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