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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
The word alcoholic is enough tosend shivers down somebody's
spine.
There was a period in my ownlife where I was trying to stop
drinking.
I drank for around 10 years,but there was a time where I
went to AA meetings and that'swhere I finally learned that I
was an alcoholic.
That's why I couldn't stopdrinking.
Now, listen, I don't call myselfan alcoholic.
(00:41):
I don't think I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not an alcoholic.
But there was a period in mylife where I thought I was one.
And I speak to people with mywork, with my business, with
SoberClearcom, where I helppeople stop drinking.
Over the years I've spoken tothousands of people and quite
often I will talk to people andthey're afraid of this word.
They think that they might bean alcoholic.
I'll also get a lot of peoplethat know that they're drinking
(01:02):
too much, but this idea oflabeling themselves an alcoholic
is terrifying.
But one word that comes up veryoften is this idea of being a
high-functioning alcoholic, andpeople will wear this badge of
honor that I'm ahigh-functioning alcoholic and
they're almost proud of it.
But isn't it weird thatsomebody who's never even been
to an AA meeting that's heavilydrinking, would even consider
themselves this in the firstplace?
(01:23):
Today, in this video, I am goingto show you whether or not you
are an alcoholic Highfunctioning, unfunctioning,
whatever makes no difference.
But after labeling myself analcoholic for about 90 days and
after letting go of that label,I actually found success.
And I just want to say onething if you take a 12-step
approach to stopping drinkingand you found success in that
approach, you probably don'twant to watch this video.
(01:43):
I don't want to disencourageyou from doing 12 Steps, from
going to AA.
If you've given yourself thatlabel, you give yourself up to a
higher power.
You're doing the 12 Stepprogram.
My channel is probably not foryou, but if you're drinking too
much and you're wondering have Igot a problem here, then this
video is for you, because weneed to unpack this term, this
alcoholic term.
It's so important because,actually, once you break the
term down and you see this forwhat it is, the problem becomes
(02:05):
so much easier to fix.
So what even is an alcoholic?
How do we define an alcoholic?
How can somebody else say doyou know what, john, you're
drinking this much every week,therefore you're an alcoholic,
but because you go to work everyday, you're a high-functioning
alcoholic.
Where do we draw the line?
Well, we need to understandthat the term alcoholic doesn't
really exist outside ofAlcoholics Anonymous.
It's a word that's thrownaround oh, look at him.
(02:26):
He must be an alcoholic, butit's a word that comes from AA.
In the past, a doctor may havecalled you an alcoholic, but
these days, a doctor will neversay that you are an alcoholic.
They will separate you from theproblem and they will correctly
label your drinking problem asalcohol use disorder.
Outside of AA.
In 2025, you're probably notgoing to get any medical
(02:46):
professional call you analcoholic.
So, without sounding toocritical, I don't want to, you
know, bash AA over the head.
If it works with people, great,it worked for my mother for 20
years.
Aa saved my life because, as Iwas growing up, she didn't drink
.
So I feel like I owe my life tothat program.
But at the same time, aftertrying it myself, there was no
way I'm going to walk aroundwith this label forever.
So then, if a doctor's nevergoing to call us an alcoholic,
(03:09):
then who does?
Let me explain how I came to theconclusion that I was an
alcoholic.
When I went to AA meetings, Iwas told that only I can decide
if I'm an alcoholic.
Nobody in the meetings can eversay that you're an alcoholic.
What I'd do is I'd sit in ameeting and I'd listen to all of
these people tell me these warstories and I could relate to
them.
Oh, this guy was telling meabout how it damaged his
relationship, how it hurt hishealth, how he'd have one, and
(03:31):
then he just kept drinking and Iwas like, oh okay, so all of
these people have got verysimilar stories to me and
they're all saying that they'rean alcoholic.
And I didn't want to feel likethe outcasts.
You, these people, have beensober for a long time and I was
told that only I can decide.
(03:51):
Now, do you not find thatincredibly interesting?
I had to decide if I was analcoholic.
That was a decision I had tomake, and this is not semantics.
Decisions are damn important.
We are the sum of all thedecisions that we've made in our
life.
So this is where it becomesreally confusing, because if I
don't make that decision, doesthat mean I'm not an alcoholic?
And what AA does is?
It gives this very loosecriteria of questions that you
ask yourself about your drinkingand it says that if you answer
yes to more than X amount ofthese questions I can't remember
(04:13):
, then there's a chance thatyou're an alcoholic.
But you need to decide.
So does that mean that if Iwent to those meetings and I
never decided I was an alcoholic, that I was never one?
It's pretty weird, right?
You've got to go.
So, in other words, if younever make that decision, you
can never be an alcoholic.
See, it doesn't make sense,because there's no such thing as
(04:35):
an alcoholic unless you chooseto believe that you're an
alcoholic.
If you choose not to believe it, then they can never label you
an alcoholic in a meeting.
But here's where it became aproblem for me.
So I bought into this idea thatI was an alcoholic, an addict.
You know that was I was theproblem here, not the drug, not
alcohol, it was me.
I bought into this idea, right?
I'm a very open-minded person.
I'll go along with it.
If I think it's going to fix myproblem, I don't care.
(05:01):
When I was in my 20s, I found a16-year-old that was doing what
I wanted to do and I went andworked for a 16-year-old kid for
free.
I am willing to put my egoaside and if calling myself an
alcoholic was helpful and goingto these meetings actually
worked, I'll go along with it.
I don't care what anybodythinks about me.
I don't care if somebody downthe street thinks I'm an
alcoholic or I go, it doesn'tbother me.
But I had to decide if I was analcoholic.
But now here's where it getsdangerous.
You go to these meetings andyou say it to yourself hey, my
(05:22):
name is X and I'm an alcoholic.
Oh, it just sends shivers downmy spine because look what I'm
doing.
I'm reaffirming this idea tomyself that I'm the problem, not
alcohol, it's me.
As soon as you add that ick tothe end of alcohol, you're the
problem.
And guess what happens?
The only solution to fixing theproblem is to go to meetings
for the rest of your life.
It's a life sentence becauseyou've now got this disease with
(05:44):
no known cure.
I don't see a medicalprofessional calling this a
disease.
No, it's all a psychologicalthing and it's all a decision
that you make.
Now I just want to kind of justgo off on a little tangent here.
I am not saying that you don'thave a problem with alcohol.
I'm not saying that alcoholwasn't the biggest source of
pain in my life.
I'm not trying to justify thedrinking.
I'm not trying to say that itwasn't some thing that needed
solving or I'd die If I keptdrinking.
(06:05):
I probably would have died.
So I'm not trying to downplaythe risks.
I'm not trying to downplay thatit wasn't a major problem in my
life, and maybe it is for youas well.
But what I am trying to say isI wasn't the problem.
The problem was alcohol, and assoon as I could separate the
two together, then that meantthat I could attack the actual
problem, which was how I viewedthe drug.
(06:26):
That was the problem, not me.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'm a normal person.
So are you.
I got addicted to one of themost physically addictive drugs
on the planet.
There might be a few othersthat are more addictive fentanyl
, heroin, crack, cocaine butalcohol is up there as one of
the most addictive drugs in theworld.
The problem is that we live ina society that has normalized
(06:46):
this drug addiction.
So if you can't control it,society wants to label you as
not like us.
You're an alcoholic.
You're not like us, normaldrinkers, because they want to
justify their own drinking tothemselves.
Listen, getting addicted to oneof the most addictive drugs
ever created that dehydrates youthat's literal function is for
you to drink it and then want todrink more has got nothing to
(07:07):
do with you.
And I feel so passionate aboutthis because for so long I
thought I was the problem.
I really believed that I couldnever be fixed.
And when I walked out of thefinal meeting I ever went to,
somebody chased me out of themeeting and he ran up to me and
he looked me in the eyes andthis was a nice guy, this was a
strong character, good man notsaying he was a bad person.
He genuinely, I think he had mybest interest in his heart.
I'm not criticizing and Ithought I'm the one that's
(07:36):
supposed to decide this.
So now it was this weird thingof like okay, well, I've made
the decision, I've beenreaffirming it, but now he's
saying I've got a disease aswell.
It makes no sense If his seethis message.
But I'm not trying to attackthis person on an individual
level, but if his logic wascorrect, I'd be in a coffin, but
(07:57):
I'm not and I fixed the problem.
If you ask me, the shift that'shappening in 2025 and beyond is
this label is going out thewindow.
You are not the problem.
You got addicted to one of themost addictive drugs on the
planet.
If you get addicted to gambling, you're not a gambler-holic for
the rest of your life.
If you get addicted tocigarettes, we don't attach
nicotine onto you for the restof your life.
(08:17):
Is it Now?
You're a nicotine-holic, right?
We don't do that for any otherdrug except alcohol.
How does that make sense?
It doesn't make sense.
I'm getting a little bit overthe top right now because I feel
so passionate about this,because I want you to know that
there's another way through this.
You don't need to give yourselfthis label.
It's not a disease with noknown cure that can never be
fixed.
It's a problem.
It's a problem like every otherproblem, and solutions exist to
(08:41):
problems.
My solution, what worked for me,was changing the way that I
viewed alcohol.
It was breaking it down intoits first principles, studying
the individual component partsof the problem, putting it back
together and then focusing onwhat's next.
It wasn't about sitting in ameeting calling myself an
alcoholic and listening to howmuch people used to drink, I'm
sorry, but it just wasn't for me.
I'm not saying that my way isperfect for everybody, that that
(09:02):
way is the wrong way.
No, if people find success inthat approach, great, but my
message probably isn't for them.
Again, I'm not downplaying theproblem here.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
(09:23):
wwwsoberclearcom.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
The word alcoholic is enough tosend shivers down somebody's
spine.
There was a period in my ownlife where I was trying to stop
drinking.
I drank for around 10 years,but there was a time where I
went to AA meetings and that'swhere I finally learned that I
was an alcoholic.
That's why I couldn't stopdrinking.
Now, listen, I don't call myselfan alcoholic.
(00:41):
I don't think I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not an alcoholic.
But there was a period in mylife where I thought I was one.
And I speak to people with mywork, with my business, with
SoberClearcom, where I helppeople stop drinking.
Over the years I've spoken tothousands of people and quite
often I will talk to people andthey're afraid of this word.
They think that they might bean alcoholic.
I'll also get a lot of peoplethat know that they're drinking
(01:02):
too much, but this idea oflabeling themselves an alcoholic
is terrifying.
But one word that comes up veryoften is this idea of being a
high-functioning alcoholic, andpeople will wear this badge of
honor that I'm ahigh-functioning alcoholic and
they're almost proud of it.
But isn't it weird thatsomebody who's never even been
to an AA meeting that's heavilydrinking, would even consider
themselves this in the firstplace?
(01:23):
Today, in this video, I am goingto show you whether or not you
are an alcoholic Highfunctioning, unfunctioning,
whatever makes no difference.
But after labeling myself analcoholic for about 90 days and
after letting go of that label,I actually found success.
And I just want to say onething if you take a 12-step
approach to stopping drinkingand you found success in that
approach, you probably don'twant to watch this video.
(01:43):
I don't want to disencourageyou from doing 12 Steps, from
going to AA.
If you've given yourself thatlabel, you give yourself up to a
higher power.
You're doing the 12 Stepprogram.
My channel is probably not foryou, but if you're drinking too
much and you're wondering have Igot a problem here, then this
video is for you, because weneed to unpack this term, this
alcoholic term.
It's so important because,actually, once you break the
term down and you see this forwhat it is, the problem becomes
(02:05):
so much easier to fix.
So what even is an alcoholic?
How do we define an alcoholic?
How can somebody else say doyou know what, john, you're
drinking this much every week,therefore you're an alcoholic,
but because you go to work everyday, you're a high-functioning
alcoholic.
Where do we draw the line?
Well, we need to understandthat the term alcoholic doesn't
really exist outside ofAlcoholics Anonymous.
It's a word that's thrownaround oh, look at him.
(02:26):
He must be an alcoholic, butit's a word that comes from AA.
In the past, a doctor may havecalled you an alcoholic, but
these days, a doctor will neversay that you are an alcoholic.
They will separate you from theproblem and they will correctly
label your drinking problem asalcohol use disorder.
Outside of AA.
In 2025, you're probably notgoing to get any medical
(02:46):
professional call you analcoholic.
So, without sounding toocritical, I don't want to, you
know, bash AA over the head.
If it works with people, great,it worked for my mother for 20
years.
Aa saved my life because, as Iwas growing up, she didn't drink
.
So I feel like I owe my life tothat program.
But at the same time, aftertrying it myself, there was no
way I'm going to walk aroundwith this label forever.
So then, if a doctor's nevergoing to call us an alcoholic,
(03:09):
then who does?
Let me explain how I came to theconclusion that I was an
alcoholic.
When I went to AA meetings, Iwas told that only I can decide
if I'm an alcoholic.
Nobody in the meetings can eversay that you're an alcoholic.
What I'd do is I'd sit in ameeting and I'd listen to all of
these people tell me these warstories and I could relate to
them.
Oh, this guy was telling meabout how it damaged his
relationship, how it hurt hishealth, how he'd have one, and
(03:31):
then he just kept drinking and Iwas like, oh okay, so all of
these people have got verysimilar stories to me and
they're all saying that they'rean alcoholic.
And I didn't want to feel likethe outcasts.
You, these people, have beensober for a long time and I was
told that only I can decide.
(03:51):
Now, do you not find thatincredibly interesting?
I had to decide if I was analcoholic.
That was a decision I had tomake, and this is not semantics.
Decisions are damn important.
We are the sum of all thedecisions that we've made in our
life.
So this is where it becomesreally confusing, because if I
don't make that decision, doesthat mean I'm not an alcoholic?
And what AA does is?
It gives this very loosecriteria of questions that you
ask yourself about your drinkingand it says that if you answer
yes to more than X amount ofthese questions I can't remember
(04:13):
, then there's a chance thatyou're an alcoholic.
But you need to decide.
So does that mean that if Iwent to those meetings and I
never decided I was an alcoholic, that I was never one?
It's pretty weird, right?
You've got to go.
So, in other words, if younever make that decision, you
can never be an alcoholic.
See, it doesn't make sense,because there's no such thing as
(04:35):
an alcoholic unless you chooseto believe that you're an
alcoholic.
If you choose not to believe it, then they can never label you
an alcoholic in a meeting.
But here's where it became aproblem for me.
So I bought into this idea thatI was an alcoholic, an addict.
You know that was I was theproblem here, not the drug, not
alcohol, it was me.
I bought into this idea, right?
I'm a very open-minded person.
I'll go along with it.
If I think it's going to fix myproblem, I don't care.
(05:01):
When I was in my 20s, I found a16-year-old that was doing what
I wanted to do and I went andworked for a 16-year-old kid for
free.
I am willing to put my egoaside and if calling myself an
alcoholic was helpful and goingto these meetings actually
worked, I'll go along with it.
I don't care what anybodythinks about me.
I don't care if somebody downthe street thinks I'm an
alcoholic or I go, it doesn'tbother me.
But I had to decide if I was analcoholic.
But now here's where it getsdangerous.
You go to these meetings andyou say it to yourself hey, my
(05:22):
name is X and I'm an alcoholic.
Oh, it just sends shivers downmy spine because look what I'm
doing.
I'm reaffirming this idea tomyself that I'm the problem, not
alcohol, it's me.
As soon as you add that ick tothe end of alcohol, you're the
problem.
And guess what happens?
The only solution to fixing theproblem is to go to meetings
for the rest of your life.
It's a life sentence becauseyou've now got this disease with
(05:44):
no known cure.
I don't see a medicalprofessional calling this a
disease.
No, it's all a psychologicalthing and it's all a decision
that you make.
Now I just want to kind of justgo off on a little tangent here.
I am not saying that you don'thave a problem with alcohol.
I'm not saying that alcoholwasn't the biggest source of
pain in my life.
I'm not trying to justify thedrinking.
I'm not trying to say that itwasn't some thing that needed
solving or I'd die If I keptdrinking.
(06:05):
I probably would have died.
So I'm not trying to downplaythe risks.
I'm not trying to downplay thatit wasn't a major problem in my
life, and maybe it is for youas well.
But what I am trying to say isI wasn't the problem.
The problem was alcohol, and assoon as I could separate the
two together, then that meantthat I could attack the actual
problem, which was how I viewedthe drug.
(06:26):
That was the problem, not me.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'm a normal person.
So are you.
I got addicted to one of themost physically addictive drugs
on the planet.
There might be a few othersthat are more addictive fentanyl
, heroin, crack, cocaine butalcohol is up there as one of
the most addictive drugs in theworld.
The problem is that we live ina society that has normalized
(06:46):
this drug addiction.
So if you can't control it,society wants to label you as
not like us.
You're an alcoholic.
You're not like us, normaldrinkers, because they want to
justify their own drinking tothemselves.
Listen, getting addicted to oneof the most addictive drugs
ever created that dehydrates youthat's literal function is for
you to drink it and then want todrink more has got nothing to
(07:07):
do with you.
And I feel so passionate aboutthis because for so long I
thought I was the problem.
I really believed that I couldnever be fixed.
And when I walked out of thefinal meeting I ever went to,
somebody chased me out of themeeting and he ran up to me and
he looked me in the eyes andthis was a nice guy, this was a
strong character, good man notsaying he was a bad person.
He genuinely, I think he had mybest interest in his heart.
I'm not criticizing and Ithought I'm the one that's
(07:36):
supposed to decide this.
So now it was this weird thingof like okay, well, I've made
the decision, I've beenreaffirming it, but now he's
saying I've got a disease aswell.
It makes no sense If his seethis message.
But I'm not trying to attackthis person on an individual
level, but if his logic wascorrect, I'd be in a coffin, but
(07:57):
I'm not and I fixed the problem.
If you ask me, the shift that'shappening in 2025 and beyond is
this label is going out thewindow.
You are not the problem.
You got addicted to one of themost addictive drugs on the
planet.
If you get addicted to gambling, you're not a gambler-holic for
the rest of your life.
If you get addicted tocigarettes, we don't attach
nicotine onto you for the restof your life.
(08:17):
Is it Now?
You're a nicotine-holic, right?
We don't do that for any otherdrug except alcohol.
How does that make sense?
It doesn't make sense.
I'm getting a little bit overthe top right now because I feel
so passionate about this,because I want you to know that
there's another way through this.
You don't need to give yourselfthis label.
It's not a disease with noknown cure that can never be
fixed.
It's a problem.
It's a problem like every otherproblem, and solutions exist to
(08:41):
problems.
My solution, what worked for me,was changing the way that I
viewed alcohol.
It was breaking it down intoits first principles, studying
the individual component partsof the problem, putting it back
together and then focusing onwhat's next.
It wasn't about sitting in ameeting calling myself an
alcoholic and listening to howmuch people used to drink, I'm
sorry, but it just wasn't for me.
I'm not saying that my way isperfect for everybody, that that
(09:02):
way is the wrong way.
No, if people find success inthat approach, great, but my
message probably isn't for them.
Again, I'm not downplaying theproblem here.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
(09:23):
wwwsoberclearcom.
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