The REAL Reason Trying to Quit Alcohol Never Works

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.

(00:21):
Here's the crazy thing when itcomes to stopping drinking
alcohol, there's a trap thatalmost every single drinker
falls into.
And no, I'm not talking aboutsome fancy marketing campaign
that's going to encourage you todrink, and I'm not talking
about that friend that's goingto encourage you to have just
one and then relapse.
It's nothing external.
It's actually something that'shappening in every single

(00:42):
drinker's mind.
See, the biggest alcohol trapof all is trying to quit
drinking.
And you might be thinking whatare you talking about?
Trying to quit drinking?
Well, haven't you noticedsomething weird?
Every time somebody tells youthat they're trying to stop
drinking alcohol, they alwaysseem to go back to drinking.
It's a very strange phenomena,but there's a reason for this,
and today we're going to unpackwhy trying to stop drinking

(01:03):
alcohol is going to keep youstuck.
This kept me stuck for the 10years that I drank alcohol.
For, and also of the thousandsof people that I've spoken to
with a drinking problem.
I've seen this come up time andtime again.
So the first thing we're goingto do is we're going to unpack
this psychological trap thatpeople keep falling into and why
trying to stop drinking couldmake you fail.
Then we're going to analyzesome of the various language

(01:24):
patterns that we use.
Then the most important part ofthe video is I'm going to be
giving you some reframes on howto switch your thinking around.
Those techniques literally workwithin seconds, super, super
valuable.
And then we're finally going totalk about how to stop this
self-sabotage.
And it's so much easier thanyou think.
So let's look at the psychologyof commitment versus trying.
See, what we're doing is themoment we say that we're trying

(01:47):
to do something, we're almostcreating this backdoor of escape
, this backdoor for failure.
See, trying implies there is apossibility of failure and it
almost creates this idea thatfailing is acceptable and kind
of expected, and it creates afundamentally different mindset.
See, when we're committed tosomething, when we are solving a
problem and fixing it, whathappens is our brain looks for

(02:09):
solutions, but when we're tryingto do something, our brain then
starts looking for excuses.
See what I mean by this is younever hear of a parent say I'm
trying to be a parent.
It doesn't work like that.
They just are now a parent.
See, if somebody had this ideathat they were just trying to be
a parent and then maybe thenext day they weren't going to
be a parent.
It just doesn't work like that.

(02:30):
When people have children, theyare fully committed to being a
parent.
That's how they now identifythemselves.
They're not trying, they're notgoing to struggle, they're not
going to be a parent for 90 days.
That's just who they are fromnow on.
And when you're committed tosomething, it creates this clear
identity shift.
You go from I'm attempting tobe to I am.
And research has clearly shownthat when you make a definitive

(02:50):
decision, it requires way lesswillpower than if you're trying
to do something, and I'd arguethat it requires no willpower at
all.
Think about it like this whenyou go to brush your teeth in
the morning, are you trying tobrush your teeth or do you just
make a decision, go to thebathroom, put on your toothpaste
and brush your teeth?
See, I'm sure you're not trying.
I'm sure you just make adecision and stick with it.

(03:13):
Do you need to try to not takeheroin, or do you just see
yourself as somebody thatdoesn't do it.
Do you see the difference here?
Being able to make a decisionand just change your identity
makes all the difference.
Now let's analyze some of thelanguage patterns and mistakes
that people make.
See, when you're struggling tostop drinking, how do you talk
to yourself?
You say things like I'll justtry to not drink tonight, I'll
just get through today.
You think maybe I just need totake a break, have a rest, reset

(03:35):
my body.
Maybe you think I should justprobably drink less.
And how often do these littlesound bites that we've got
running in our head actuallywork?
Well, for me it was never.
I'd always just keep drinkingbecause I never changed my
identity and I never made adecision.
But then, when you've gotsomebody who successfully has
quit drinking and they don'twant to drink and they've moved
on with their life, how did theytalk to themselves?

(03:55):
Well, I'll tell you becauseI'll tell you the way that I
talk to myself, because I've notdrank for six and a half years,
I don't think I can't drink, Ithink nothing, I just don't
drink.
Like that's who I am now.
I don't see myself as sober andstruggling or anything like
that.
I've just made a choice andthat's it.
I'm moving on with my life.
I just don't think about itanymore.
I don't have these languagepatterns.
That's all about struggle andfight and recovering and no,

(04:18):
none of that stuff.
So let me give you some superpowerful reframes.
So let me give you some superpowerful reframes to help you on
your journey, because we wantto go from restriction to choice
.
So, rather than think I can'tdrink, you say I choose not to
drink.
Rather than thinking you'rerestricted and it's this thing
that you just can't do, but youkind of want to do it, you just

(04:39):
say to yourself well, I'mchoosing not to.
I'm making a choice, a decision.
Instead of thinking, oh,everybody around me is drinking,
having a good time, I'm missingout on something, you switch it
and instead you think aboutyourself as being free,
experiencing total freedom andjoy.
So you don't feel like you'remissing out.
You feel this sense of reliefwhen you think about alcohol.
Do you see the difference?

(04:59):
Do you see how powerful thiscan be?
Instead of thinking, oh, it'sso hard to just not drink
alcohol, you don't think thatway you remind yourself that
it's easy to not drink becauseeverything is so much better.
We need to move away from thisidea of what if I fail, to what
happens when I succeed.
So instead of thinking thatwe're giving something up, that
we're giving up drinking, wethink of it more of I'm actually

(05:20):
gaining my life back.
Everything's changing.
So this way, we're not runningaway from alcohol, but we're
moving towards something morepositive and a better quality of
life.
So let's talk aboutself-sabotage and how you can
end it, because the languagepatterns that we choose to use
are responsible for our results.
When people create these escaperoutes and this idea of trying,

(05:41):
they're having one foot in andone foot out.
So then, when this idea intheir head comes up of just
having one drink or justdrinking less and moderating,
and blah, blah, blah, they'vegiven themselves an option to
follow those thoughts through.
But here's the paradox Keepingyour options open, keeping one
foot in and one foot out,doesn't make things easier and
better.
It makes things impossible.

(06:01):
Now, I know you might not befully ready right now to
actually make that decision, andthat's why I created the free
video training that you canaccess by clicking the link in
the description.
That is going to get you into amuch better state.
That should start the processof reframing how you view
alcohol, because I promise you,once you've changed your
perception, it becomes such aneasy and logical choice.
Have a great day.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking Podcast by Sober

(06:22):
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.