Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Drinking alcohol
sucks, there's no question about
it.
It damages our health, itdamages our financial life.
It costs a bunch of money.
You know stopping drinking cancost God knows how much.
With rehabs it can take away 10years from your life expectancy
.
I mean, it does a lot of damageto us, but the other thing that
(00:20):
it does a lot of damage to isour relationships.
Right, I don't know about you,but I've upset my mum, my
grandma.
You know I had a little brotherand must have set a terrible
example to him as well.
But today I wanted to unpacksome extremely important stuff
on stopping drinking and yourrelationships, and you will have
(00:44):
to deal with this on yourjourney, there is no question
about it.
And I'm really going to unpackhow you can manage the different
people in your life when youstop drinking, because not
everybody is going to besupportive, right, and I'm
really going to tell you a majormindset shift that I've had, in
(01:04):
fact, I would say, in the pastmonth.
The shift that I've had allfrom watching a YouTube video,
by the way that I'm going totalk to you about the shift that
I've had has had one of themost profound impacts that I've
probably had over the past fiveyears, like it's been that big
and it's early, I decided, youknow, I just got this wave of
(01:27):
inspiration.
I'm still drinking my coffeehere, so let me talk to you
about this.
So when you stop drinking,people will judge you.
People will judge you whetheryou like it or not, right?
So you're going to get you know, some people judge you
(01:48):
positively.
They're going to be like oh yes, you know, dad's not drinking
anymore, husband's not drinkinganymore.
We're so proud of you, we're sohappy and that's great, right.
Then you're going to get somepeople who, like, they're
indifferent, they don't judgeyou, they don care, right.
And then you're gonna get somepeople that judge you and
they're gonna think who does hethink he is right?
(02:10):
Who's this guy stoppingdrinking alcohol?
So you're gonna get judged, nomatter what, right?
So so I want to tell you aboutthis video, because I'm going to
tell you how to deal withjudgment, and this has changed
my life so much over the pastfew months or month since I
watched the video.
I actually watched it on aflight man.
(02:32):
I'm able to make these videosnow without cuts.
That's the weird thing is, inthe past, I'd have to film a
YouTube video and we cut them upbecause I make mistakes and
because of this shift it's beenso profound that I can just do
now like a 20 minute videowithout a single mistake, which
is pretty cool.
So, anyway, not bragging, butI'm showing you this isn't just
(02:55):
about you know, yourrelationships and alcohol, which
is going to be massive.
This could actually change alot of areas of your life.
So the video talks about youshould be a leader, right, and
he swore.
He said fuck everybody else'sopinion, be a hypocrite, right.
And he wasn't advocatinghypocrisy in the video, but he
(03:18):
was saying be a leader and dowhatever the fuck you want.
And I thought, you know, that'sa nice start to a video.
I can get on this, I can listento this.
So he goes on and he tells thisstory and the story's mad.
There was a point in the storywhere the woman he was dating
(03:38):
pulled up at the side of theroad and just pulled her pants
down and peed, but I'll get tothat in a second, but you know,
a bit weird.
So this guy he was talkingabout you know he's married now
and stuff but he was talkingabout his old dating life and he
was a bit of a playboy back inthe day.
So he's dating this girl andit's a local girl and she's a
(04:00):
Christian, right, she wears across.
And it's a local girl and she'sa Christian, right, she wears a
cross, she's a Christian andshe goes to church every Sunday.
So he goes to date this girl ona Saturday night and she's like
you know, I can't stay up toolate, I've got church the next
day so we can't do too much.
(04:21):
Anyway, they do stay up late,they stay up all night.
They stay up drinking, probablydoing drugs, god knows what,
and they stay up super late.
And then she's like I've stillgot to go to church, I've still
got to go to church.
So he goes and drives her tochurch.
Hey, I just thought, was hedrink driving?
I bet he was, you know, becausehe probably had alcohol in his
(04:43):
system still from the nightbefore.
Anyway, doesn't matter, whocares.
So he drives this lady to church, his girlfriend, this girl he's
dating, and he said that justbefore they got to the church
she was, I don't know, likehungover.
She came out the side of theroad, pulled her pants down,
(05:04):
peed, and I think people in thechurch saw that she did that
because I think she did it quiteclose by to the church, right.
And then she goes to the churchand that's kind of the end of
that story.
And what he said next I foundso profound, that and when it
comes to your relationships withalcohol, it's going to be so
helpful.
But what he said next I foundso profound.
He said that woman, that girlhe was dating, was doing
(05:31):
whatever the heck she wanted.
She wasn't worried about anyjudgment from anybody.
So so he thought about it and heunpacked it and he said you
know, he, the people in thatchurch, right, they're going to
look at her and say you know,some people are going to be like
that's a bad Christian girl,she shouldn't be in this church.
(05:51):
You know she's out drinking,having sex.
You know she's taking drugs.
Did you see her pee at the sideof the road?
This isn't a Christian woman,right?
You're going to have people inthe church judging her like that
.
And then you're gonna have someother people saying, oh, thank
god that she's at this church,thank god that she's, that she's
(06:12):
found christ, it doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter,
it's for god to judge her, notus.
You know you're gonna have somepeople feeling like this.
And then you're gonna have somepeople like, let's say, you've
got some atheist, right, thatdoesn't believe in God, and
they're going to judge thisperson and think you know what a
(06:34):
weirdo for going to church inthe first place.
Right, you know they're goingto have an opinion like that and
everybody's going to have adifferent opinion.
But the thing is is everybody'sjudgment comes from a different
place, but all the judgmentsare totally different and quite
often when somebody judges youis they do it on two sides of a
(06:56):
spectrum.
It's like the polar opposite.
So he goes on to talk aboutanother example in bodybuilding.
So this guy was a bodybuilderon to talk about another example
in bodybuilding.
So this guy was a bodybuilderand he took steroids, uh, but he
also ate really healthy, right?
So to some complete healthfreak that like is you know
running and I don't know,perfect diet, perfect nutrition,
(07:16):
never touch drugs.
To that person, he's superunhealthy.
But then, because he's takingdrugs, you know, because he's,
but yeah, I do love that.
So to that person, he'sunhealthy for the drugs.
But then maybe to a, you know,a crack addict, that person
might judge him and think, oh mygosh, that guy is so healthy.
(07:37):
Look at him, even though he'son all the drugs.
So so we're getting judged onone side of the spectrum because
he's a you know from, from likea crack addict, saying that
that guy is super, super healthy.
You know, he's top, top levelhealth.
The same thing is going tohappen to you, right?
(08:07):
Some people boom, look at him,go, he stopped drinking, he's
doing it, he's making it happen.
And those people are awesome,right?
And then you're going to havesome people that judge it.
Right, they're not happy aboutyou not drinking.
They don't want to see it.
And here's the thing, here'sthe message, here's the point of
(08:33):
this video who cares?
Who cares what anybody thinks?
Everybody's going to judge youanyway.
But who cares?
Like?
Everybody's judging you from adifferent place.
They're all judging you fromtheir perception and their
perspective.
So, like, who cares?
And, and the thing is is, nomatter what you do, you're going
to be judged for it.
Like, do you want to know whattriggered this message?
I'll tell you what triggeredthis message.
(08:53):
I got a message this morning ofsomebody, so I've started
posting on instagram and youknow, I'm all about youtube.
I love youtube, I love makinglong videos, I love, uh, talking
forever, as you can tell, tell.
But I like YouTube because Ican go deeper, I can share ideas
and I can give people thosewake-up calls with alcohol,
right, hopefully, like thisvideo is doing for you, anyway.
So I get this message from thisguy and since stopping drinking
(09:16):
, you know, my life has changedright, like I'm in a pretty
sweet, nice hotel suite rightnow, like before I wasn't, I was
living in a shared house that Ididn't even pay rent for.
I was borrowing money offfamily.
Life's changed in a big waysince stopping drinking, but
that's actually all happenedthrough helping people stop
(09:36):
drinking.
So that's a good sign, right,but I'm definitely in a much,
much stronger financial positionnow, as I should be after not
drinking alcohol for seven years.
I mean, everybody should beright.
And this guy messaged me and hesaid, leon, uh, you know, for
somebody that's struggling withalcohol, you shouldn't be making
(09:57):
posts like this.
Your life looks too good.
Um, you know you, it looksdisingenuous and you look
arrogant.
You know it looks disingenuousand you look arrogant and, for
one of the first times ever, Ihad no reaction right Now.
In the past, that kind of stuffwould have upset me, you know
when somebody left me a negativecomment when I first started
making YouTube videos, saying,oh, this guy doesn't know
(10:19):
anything, he's not drunk, he'sonly 20, what?
He's only 27, now 28,.
I'm 32 now.
He's not drunk even long enoughto know what he's talking about
.
Right, hang on.
You know, these opinions reallyused to bother me, and it was
because of this judgment thing,right.
So to this guy that sent me themessage he's judging me from
(10:43):
one perspective.
But then you might havesomebody else that watches this
video thinking, well, hang on,why is he in Asia?
I mean, who goes there?
Only poor people go to Asia forholidays.
Why doesn't he go to Hawaii?
Why doesn't he go toSwitzerland?
So it's stupid to listen toanybody's opinion Like this fear
(11:05):
of judgment and especially whenwe stop drinking alcohol, this
fear of like how people aregoing to perceive us, how people
are going to react to us.
Who freaking cares?
Like, who cares?
They're going to judge youanyway, so just do whatever the
hell you want.
And you know when people saylike, why aren't you having a
drink tonight?
(11:26):
When they say that becausepeople will ask oh, why are you
not drinking?
Why don't you just have one?
Because I don't want to, oh,why not?
I ain't talking to you about it, oh, but come on.
And it's like listen, peoplemight argue and they might push
back, and so I'm not sayingthat's not going to happen, but
in your mind you need to alwaysrealize that you will be judged
(11:47):
for anything you do in your life, but you're always going to be
judged from two sides.
So who cares, right, whoactually gives a shit?
Who cares what anybody thinks?
And so I don't know about you.
I really hope that these ideashave done the same thing for you
(12:08):
that they've done for me,because over the past few weeks,
what I've started doing withthis now is I get a lot of ideas
, right, I get a lot of ideasand I'll tell you what I do.
I'll get, like, a business ideaor an idea for a video, or you
know, an idea for a piece ofcontent, and I'll message a
friend I say, oh, what do youthink about this?
(12:28):
Right, and it's stupid.
And because the friend will,one friend will say, oh, that's
sick, do it.
And then another friend willsay what are you talking about?
Don't do that.
And then what will happen isthe fear of judgment will stifle
me, and this happens withalcohol as well, right?
So one thing I say when peoplestop drinking alcohol is like
(12:50):
don't tell anybody.
Don't tell anybody, don't tellyour friends, don't tell your
family, I mean, because they'regoing to judge you right?
So the best thing you can do isjust keep quiet.
Sorry, I'm just getting a bituncomfortable.
Um, it's just keep quietbecause this way you can avoid
these conversations and and thisjudgment that's going to happen
(13:13):
, right?
So you can avoid it by justsaying nothing and going back to
what I was saying is what Iwould do is I would, you know,
message a friend, message youknow, another YouTuber or
something, say I've got thisidea for this and that and this
and that, and then I'd get allthese opinions and then I
wouldn't do anything.
And it's like, why am Ilistening to other people's
(13:36):
judgment?
Like who cares?
So since I listened to thisvideo and since I heard about
this, and since I realized, likejudgment, it just doesn't
matter.
I just stopped caring.
I have just stopped caring whatother people think, like that
guy's message would haveaffected me a long time ago and
now I don't care.
I just don't care.
(13:58):
I'm doing what I want and Ifeel I'm feeling fired up.
I'm feeling fired up, yeah.
So let's get it back to alcohol.
Let's wrap it up with alcoholagain one more time.
So when you stop drinkingalcohol, right, first thing is
keep it to yourself, unlessyou've got a really strong frame
(14:20):
right, and when those peoplepush because they will, and when
those people judge, unlessyou've got a super strong frame
and your mindset is like mine,like 100% convinced that alcohol
is poison and ethanol and it'snever going to do anything for
you.
If you feel like that, then youknow you can tell people.
But you know a lot of people.
At the beginning they're notquite ready for those
(14:43):
conversations.
So what I think is good is justto kind of keep it to yourself.
It's you know.
Just you know it's you.
As long as you've made that truedecision that's between you and
yourself, right, you don't needto go and tell the world that
you've stopped drinking alcohol.
I don't think you should dothat.
You can.
You know I'm not saying listen.
(15:04):
You can listen to my ideas anddisregard them.
The only idea you can'tdisregard is that alcohol is
poison, alcohol is ethanol,alcohol is a drug.
There's no such thing as onedrink and that shit will kill
you.
That's the only thing.
I won't let you disagree with.
Anything else you can disagreewith my points, right, but you
can't disagree with those ones.
So, anyway, back to it.
So keep it to yourself.
(15:26):
And then the next thing is thatwhen you start dealing with
people and you know, talking topeople and dealing with your
relationships and whatever andpeople start judging you, which
they will who cares?
Who cares?
Do what you want anyway, andlet this be a lesson to anything
in your life.
There are probably things inyour life that you've been
(15:49):
thinking about doing for agesand you're going to get judged
for them.
But who cares?
I'll give you, like, one lastexample now, right, one final
example.
I have a very close friend andI've really been encouraging him
to start YouTube because he'sdead good looking, he's dead
charismatic, he's got a business, but he works like a madman and
he doesn't make a crazy amountof money from it.
(16:10):
He makes alright money, but hedoesn't make a crazy amount of
money.
But that guy, he's one of thehardest and hardest working
people I know and he's one ofthe highest IQ people I've ever
met in my life, right?
So you know, I've been pushinghim to do a YouTube channel for
ages, because I think he'll dosuper well.
And that's my opinion, right?
That's my opinion as somebodywho's found some success on
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YouTube.
So I'm judging him on one side,but then he might have the fear
of posting a video and thinking, well, what would this friend
think?
So again, who cares?
It doesn't matter, like it justdoesn't matter.
If he wants to start YouTube,just start.
So, anyway, this has changed mylife so much.
(16:53):
This has been like such aprofound shift.
I don't give a shit anymore.
I'm doing whatever the heck Iwant.
I'm not asking for judgment,I'm not sorry.
I shouldn't say that.
I should say I'm not goingaround in my life seeking
permission from other people todo what I want.
I'm executing, I'm doing it andit feels damn good, it feels
damn liberating.
And if you wanna stop drinkingalcohol, just freaking do it.
(17:24):
Screw everybody else, screwwhat they think about you and
just do it Now.
Final thing if you've made itthis far in this video, then
that means that you liked thiscontent.
So if you want more of it infact, no, I was going to tell
you to watch another video, butactually what I'm going to
actually tell you to do is I'mgoing to tell you that we're
actually accepting new clientsin my program right now.
So I have a coaching program.
It's the Sober Clear program.
So what we do in the SoberClear program is we help you do
two things.
So we help you reframe the wayyou view alcohol using something
(17:47):
called first principlesthinking, and then we use a
future focused coaching approach.
So there's no judgment, there'sno going to the past, there's
no sitting talking about warstories.
It's all about health, it's allabout business, it's all about
building your family life up.
And we have a client base ofabout 500 now top business
(18:07):
owners, professionals,high-level people.
They're all in a communitytogether.
There's a lot of coaching, alot of support.
We get a 92% to 97% successrate.
If you want to see if it's agood fit to work together, you
can click the link beneath thisvideo to book a call.
I know I'm not giving that muchinformation about how it works
or anything, but if you wantinformation, just go over to
(18:29):
SoberClearcom.
Have a read of that.
But yeah, screw everybody.
Screw what everybody thinks,just do it.
Do whatever you want, quitdrinking alcohol.
Don't worry what anybody thinksabout you.
I'll speak to.