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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
When I was drinking alcohol,I've done it all Blackouts,
binging, fighting all thesestupid decisions, drink driving.
I hate to say it, but I did it.
I mean I've done so many stupidthings because of alcohol and I
don't call myself an alcoholic,right, and I'm going to explain
in this video why.
I don't call myself analcoholic.
But I had a massive drinkingproblem.
(00:42):
I'm not denying that, but Idon't use this label and I've
still managed to successfullystop drinking alcohol for almost
seven years.
And today I'm going to explainwhy I'm making this video from a
hotel that I'm at right now andI feel good in this pool and I
mean I wanted to show you and Imade another video explaining
why I'm showing you because mylife didn't used to look like
this.
Alcohol destroyed my life andyou know, society probably would
(01:06):
have labeled me an alcoholic,but I don't give myself that
label and I want to explain why.
So if you do call yourself analcoholic.
By the way, this video mightnot be for you I don't want to
knock that term if you use itand it helps you, but for me it
didn't help.
So I wanted to make a quickvideo in explaining why I don't
(01:26):
use that label and what I doinstead, and what I do instead
actually got me to stop drinkingand stay stopped and yeah.
So this video isn't going to befor everybody, but if you have
been debating whether or notyou're an alcoholic, if you've
been dabbling with that term, ifyou're unsure, I'm hoping that
this video sheds some light onthis situation, because it's a
pretty taboo topic really.
(01:48):
So when I tried to stop drinkingalcohol, when I first tried to
stop, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know about firstprinciples thinking.
I didn't know I could reframethe way I viewed alcohol.
I didn't know anything.
So what I did is I asked my mum.
I said, mum, how do I stopdrinking?
And my mum had been toAlcoholics Anonymous for over 20
years probably wasn't over 20years at that point, it might
have been, I don't know, 17, 18years and I said I need help.
(02:11):
And she said well, at thispoint I didn't live at home.
I actually left home at like 17because of drinking drugs.
And she said if you go tomeetings, you can come and live
at home again.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, Ithink I was 18 at the time and I
started going to meetings.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous,I went to Narcotics Anonymous
and I went to these meetings and, uh, and this is where you get.
(02:33):
I was told to make a decisionright, am I an addict, am I an
alcoholic?
And what I did is I waslistening to all these stories
and all of these people who hadpretty similar stories to me.
They they were often a lotworse, but I could find
similarities in all of them andI was like, oh right.
So he says you know, my name isRobbie, I'm an alcoholic.
My name is Mark, I'm analcoholic.
And then he tells me this storyand I'm like, well, yeah, I
(02:55):
guess there's similaritiesbetween me and him.
Okay, he drank first thing inthe morning, but he'd have one
drink and then he'd drink more.
And I'm like, oh well, I guessthat was me.
And eventually I was like, okay, well, maybe I'm an alcoholic.
And it was a period of my life,around three months where I
bought into this right, I trulybelieved this is what I was.
You know, I thought about mymum my mum's an alcoholic.
Well, maybe it's genetic.
Then I thought about my familytree, and there's a lot of
(03:17):
drinking and drugs in my familytree and I thought, oh, maybe
that's what I am, maybe that'swhat we all are, maybe we're
born this way.
Oh boy, here we go.
This is a journey.
So, you know, after I gavemyself this label, you know, it
became this identity and I don'twant to blame the label for
(03:39):
what happened next, but I thinkit's got something to do with it
.
I might be wrong, but I tookthis label for a while.
And then I remember, when Irelapsed in my heart I was like,
well, I'm this way.
And I relapsed and I went nuts.
I just binged and binged, andbinged, and binged and binged.
And listen, might that havehappened?
Anyway, it's possible.
But now I have this label in myheart, I'm like, well, that's
(04:03):
just the way, I am Right.
And it became almost like anexcuse, almost like a
self-fulfilling prophecy, and tome it was dangerous.
Now, I'm not saying that therearen't people out there that
have that label.
They use a 12 step program.
They admit they're an alcoholic, give themselves up to a higher
power, they do all the 12 stepsand they stay stopped forever.
Are those people there?
Yes, and it works for them andfor those people I'm happy.
(04:25):
But it didn't work for me andI've told this story before.
But I remember, um, at a meeting, there was a guy in an NA
meeting.
So NA is more for drugs, butthere's people that drink
alcohol, that go there.
And um, at this meeting, he, uh, he was.
I've told this story before.
It's really sad, but he wasmaking a coffee and, uh, he put
three spoons of coffee in hiscup and I'm like dude, I didn't
(04:48):
understand it at the time.
I was like, why are you doingthat?
It's like Leon, I'm an addict,this is what I do, I want to get
caffeinated.
And a few years later, a fewmonths later I can't remember,
but this guy died from a heroinoverdose.
He relapsed and took the wrongbatch of heroin and then got
found dead in the public toilets.
And it's a tragic, tragic story.
Now, could that have happenedif he didn't label himself an
(05:10):
addict, of course, but he trulybelieved he was an addict.
He believed it in his heart.
So, oh, a bird just flew pastme.
But you can see the problem withthis label, right, it becomes a
little bit dangerous.
If you use that label and stopand never drink again, then hey,
that's amazing.
But you know, if God forbid,somebody relapses.
(05:33):
I mean, you can see the danger,right.
So a few more reasons why Idon't call myself an alcoholic.
Well, that's the first reason.
Is that?
The next reason is that they saythat it's a disease, right?
Firstly, they call it a diseasewith no known cure, which means
the only cure is to go toAlcoholics Anonymous.
So I just want to be clear thatthe term alcoholic is only used
(05:56):
by Alcoholics Anonymous.
It's a made up self-help term.
There's no medical diagnosis.
A doctor will never call you analcoholic anymore.
The correct label is alcoholuse disorder and it's not
semantics, right, it's not justlanguage.
This is an importantdistinction, because if you call
(06:17):
yourself an alcoholic, the onlyway to cure this alcoholism is
to go to alcoholics on meetings.
It's the only solution, right?
How else are you going to fixbeing an alcoholic, especially
if it's a disease you've noknown cure?
So that was another problem islearning that there was no
medical diagnosis.
But then, if you actually lookat the criteria for being an
alcoholic in AlcoholicsAnonymous, it's really, really I
(06:38):
can't think of the word likebroad.
I mean, I went through thequestions and I said yes to
every single question.
I think that most drinkerswould go through those questions
and could be an alcoholic right.
So I noticed that as well.
And you know, this idea thatI'm the problem means that I can
(06:59):
never be fixed.
If I'm the problem here, thenhow do I fix me?
Well, you can't.
You've got to go to meetings.
I didn't want to go to thesemeetings for the rest of my life
.
You know, I'll tell you, what Iwanted to do is I just wanted
to freaking, stop drinking andget on with my life.
That's what I wanted.
I didn't want to have to go tomeetings forever and waste three
, four hours of a week going tomeetings, having to go to a
(07:20):
daily meeting.
At the beginning I didn want todo any of that.
I wanted to fix my drinkingproblem and I wanted to get on
with my life.
So what happened next is that Istopped going to meetings and
then, you know, started tryingto find a new solution, and what
I found in my research I didsomething called first
(07:40):
principles thinking.
I spent a lot of time reading.
I read every stop drinking book.
I could find podcasts, you know, listening to other people on
the matter and eventually I gotto a place where I stopped
seeing myself as the problem.
I started seeing the drug asthe problem and as long as I
didn't drink, the problems wentaway.
I didn't need to give myself upto God, I didn't need to make
amendments to people, I didn'tneed to do any of that stuff.
(08:02):
What I had to do was change theway that I view alcohol.
And once I I know it soundscrazy, but then you know, once I
stopped drinking alcohol,within the first month or so I
actually was fully self-employedagain.
I started my personal trainingbusiness.
(08:23):
It went really well and it'sbeen almost seven years.
You know I still go out to bars.
I'm still around people thatdrink Less now than I did at the
beginning because, you know,basically a lot of my friends
just don't drink now I've justattracted those people into my
life.
But I did a lot of the thingsthat AA said I shouldn't do.
I didn't go to any meetings, Ididn't have a sponsor, I didn't
(08:43):
do any step work, I didn't doany spiritual work in that
aspect.
And, yeah, I stopped drinkingand I don't drink anymore.
And a lot of people will listento this.
They go to AA and think, oh no,no, no, aa is free, you should
do it this way, you should do itthat way.
Aa saved my life.
It works if you work it.
And there's all this stuff andI'm thinking that's binary
thinking.
(09:03):
I'm not saying that you can'tget sober in AA.
Of course you can.
And if that's what you're doingand you're happy and you're
sober, more power to you likethere's.
No, I mean, that is awesome.
It saved my mom's life.
You know, I would tell my momdon't watch this video, because
I don't want, I don't want to, Idon't want to like, knock her.
(09:24):
But there are other ways to doit.
Right, there are other ways todo it and the way that I did it
worked for me and it might notwork for everybody.
I'm not saying that, but I don'tcall myself an alcoholic.
I haven't drank for seven years.
I have no intention to drink, Ihave no desire to drink and
it's been fine.
And I'll just tell you one lastthing.
When I walked out of my finalmeeting, a guy chased me out
(09:46):
there.
I'm actually quite like thisguy, but then he turned on me.
He was like he swore he went ifyou fucking go back out there,
you've got a disease, you'regoing to die.
I was like jeez and I'll neverforget it.
It was quite shocking, but itwasn't true.
It's just, it wasn't true.
I've not died, I've thrived.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking podcast by Sober
(10:08):
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, toolsand strategies to start living
your best life when alcohol-free.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to wwwsoberclearcom.
(00:21):
When I was drinking alcohol,I've done it all Blackouts,
binging, fighting all thesestupid decisions, drink driving.
I hate to say it, but I did it.
I mean I've done so many stupidthings because of alcohol and I
don't call myself an alcoholic,right, and I'm going to explain
in this video why.
I don't call myself analcoholic.
But I had a massive drinkingproblem.
(00:42):
I'm not denying that, but Idon't use this label and I've
still managed to successfullystop drinking alcohol for almost
seven years.
And today I'm going to explainwhy I'm making this video from a
hotel that I'm at right now andI feel good in this pool and I
mean I wanted to show you and Imade another video explaining
why I'm showing you because mylife didn't used to look like
this.
Alcohol destroyed my life andyou know, society probably would
(01:06):
have labeled me an alcoholic,but I don't give myself that
label and I want to explain why.
So if you do call yourself analcoholic.
By the way, this video mightnot be for you I don't want to
knock that term if you use itand it helps you, but for me it
didn't help.
So I wanted to make a quickvideo in explaining why I don't
(01:26):
use that label and what I doinstead, and what I do instead
actually got me to stop drinkingand stay stopped and yeah.
So this video isn't going to befor everybody, but if you have
been debating whether or notyou're an alcoholic, if you've
been dabbling with that term, ifyou're unsure, I'm hoping that
this video sheds some light onthis situation, because it's a
pretty taboo topic really.
(01:48):
So when I tried to stop drinkingalcohol, when I first tried to
stop, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know about firstprinciples thinking.
I didn't know I could reframethe way I viewed alcohol.
I didn't know anything.
So what I did is I asked my mum.
I said, mum, how do I stopdrinking?
And my mum had been toAlcoholics Anonymous for over 20
years probably wasn't over 20years at that point, it might
have been, I don't know, 17, 18years and I said I need help.
(02:11):
And she said well, at thispoint I didn't live at home.
I actually left home at like 17because of drinking drugs.
And she said if you go tomeetings, you can come and live
at home again.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, Ithink I was 18 at the time and I
started going to meetings.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous,I went to Narcotics Anonymous
and I went to these meetings and, uh, and this is where you get.
(02:33):
I was told to make a decisionright, am I an addict, am I an
alcoholic?
And what I did is I waslistening to all these stories
and all of these people who hadpretty similar stories to me.
They they were often a lotworse, but I could find
similarities in all of them andI was like, oh right.
So he says you know, my name isRobbie, I'm an alcoholic.
My name is Mark, I'm analcoholic.
And then he tells me this storyand I'm like, well, yeah, I
(02:55):
guess there's similaritiesbetween me and him.
Okay, he drank first thing inthe morning, but he'd have one
drink and then he'd drink more.
And I'm like, oh well, I guessthat was me.
And eventually I was like, okay, well, maybe I'm an alcoholic.
And it was a period of my life,around three months where I
bought into this right, I trulybelieved this is what I was.
You know, I thought about mymum my mum's an alcoholic.
Well, maybe it's genetic.
Then I thought about my familytree, and there's a lot of
(03:17):
drinking and drugs in my familytree and I thought, oh, maybe
that's what I am, maybe that'swhat we all are, maybe we're
born this way.
Oh boy, here we go.
This is a journey.
So, you know, after I gavemyself this label, you know, it
became this identity and I don'twant to blame the label for
(03:39):
what happened next, but I thinkit's got something to do with it
.
I might be wrong, but I tookthis label for a while.
And then I remember, when Irelapsed in my heart I was like,
well, I'm this way.
And I relapsed and I went nuts.
I just binged and binged, andbinged, and binged and binged.
And listen, might that havehappened?
Anyway, it's possible.
But now I have this label in myheart, I'm like, well, that's
(04:03):
just the way, I am Right.
And it became almost like anexcuse, almost like a
self-fulfilling prophecy, and tome it was dangerous.
Now, I'm not saying that therearen't people out there that
have that label.
They use a 12 step program.
They admit they're an alcoholic, give themselves up to a higher
power, they do all the 12 stepsand they stay stopped forever.
Are those people there?
Yes, and it works for them andfor those people I'm happy.
(04:25):
But it didn't work for me andI've told this story before.
But I remember, um, at a meeting, there was a guy in an NA
meeting.
So NA is more for drugs, butthere's people that drink
alcohol, that go there.
And um, at this meeting, he, uh, he was.
I've told this story before.
It's really sad, but he wasmaking a coffee and, uh, he put
three spoons of coffee in hiscup and I'm like dude, I didn't
(04:48):
understand it at the time.
I was like, why are you doingthat?
It's like Leon, I'm an addict,this is what I do, I want to get
caffeinated.
And a few years later, a fewmonths later I can't remember,
but this guy died from a heroinoverdose.
He relapsed and took the wrongbatch of heroin and then got
found dead in the public toilets.
And it's a tragic, tragic story.
Now, could that have happenedif he didn't label himself an
(05:10):
addict, of course, but he trulybelieved he was an addict.
He believed it in his heart.
So, oh, a bird just flew pastme.
But you can see the problem withthis label, right, it becomes a
little bit dangerous.
If you use that label and stopand never drink again, then hey,
that's amazing.
But you know, if God forbid,somebody relapses.
(05:33):
I mean, you can see the danger,right.
So a few more reasons why Idon't call myself an alcoholic.
Well, that's the first reason.
Is that?
The next reason is that they saythat it's a disease, right?
Firstly, they call it a diseasewith no known cure, which means
the only cure is to go toAlcoholics Anonymous.
So I just want to be clear thatthe term alcoholic is only used
(05:56):
by Alcoholics Anonymous.
It's a made up self-help term.
There's no medical diagnosis.
A doctor will never call you analcoholic anymore.
The correct label is alcoholuse disorder and it's not
semantics, right, it's not justlanguage.
This is an importantdistinction, because if you call
(06:17):
yourself an alcoholic, the onlyway to cure this alcoholism is
to go to alcoholics on meetings.
It's the only solution, right?
How else are you going to fixbeing an alcoholic, especially
if it's a disease you've noknown cure?
So that was another problem islearning that there was no
medical diagnosis.
But then, if you actually lookat the criteria for being an
alcoholic in AlcoholicsAnonymous, it's really, really I
(06:38):
can't think of the word likebroad.
I mean, I went through thequestions and I said yes to
every single question.
I think that most drinkerswould go through those questions
and could be an alcoholic right.
So I noticed that as well.
And you know, this idea thatI'm the problem means that I can
(06:59):
never be fixed.
If I'm the problem here, thenhow do I fix me?
Well, you can't.
You've got to go to meetings.
I didn't want to go to thesemeetings for the rest of my life
.
You know, I'll tell you, what Iwanted to do is I just wanted
to freaking, stop drinking andget on with my life.
That's what I wanted.
I didn't want to have to go tomeetings forever and waste three
, four hours of a week going tomeetings, having to go to a
(07:20):
daily meeting.
At the beginning I didn want todo any of that.
I wanted to fix my drinkingproblem and I wanted to get on
with my life.
So what happened next is that Istopped going to meetings and
then, you know, started tryingto find a new solution, and what
I found in my research I didsomething called first
(07:40):
principles thinking.
I spent a lot of time reading.
I read every stop drinking book.
I could find podcasts, you know, listening to other people on
the matter and eventually I gotto a place where I stopped
seeing myself as the problem.
I started seeing the drug asthe problem and as long as I
didn't drink, the problems wentaway.
I didn't need to give myself upto God, I didn't need to make
amendments to people, I didn'tneed to do any of that stuff.
(08:02):
What I had to do was change theway that I view alcohol.
And once I I know it soundscrazy, but then you know, once I
stopped drinking alcohol,within the first month or so I
actually was fully self-employedagain.
I started my personal trainingbusiness.
(08:23):
It went really well and it'sbeen almost seven years.
You know I still go out to bars.
I'm still around people thatdrink Less now than I did at the
beginning because, you know,basically a lot of my friends
just don't drink now I've justattracted those people into my
life.
But I did a lot of the thingsthat AA said I shouldn't do.
I didn't go to any meetings, Ididn't have a sponsor, I didn't
(08:43):
do any step work, I didn't doany spiritual work in that
aspect.
And, yeah, I stopped drinkingand I don't drink anymore.
And a lot of people will listento this.
They go to AA and think, oh no,no, no, aa is free, you should
do it this way, you should do itthat way.
Aa saved my life.
It works if you work it.
And there's all this stuff andI'm thinking that's binary
thinking.
(09:03):
I'm not saying that you can'tget sober in AA.
Of course you can.
And if that's what you're doingand you're happy and you're
sober, more power to you likethere's.
No, I mean, that is awesome.
It saved my mom's life.
You know, I would tell my momdon't watch this video, because
I don't want, I don't want to, Idon't want to like, knock her.
(09:24):
But there are other ways to doit.
Right, there are other ways todo it and the way that I did it
worked for me and it might notwork for everybody.
I'm not saying that, but I don'tcall myself an alcoholic.
I haven't drank for seven years.
I have no intention to drink, Ihave no desire to drink and
it's been fine.
And I'll just tell you one lastthing.
When I walked out of my finalmeeting, a guy chased me out
(09:46):
there.
I'm actually quite like thisguy, but then he turned on me.
He was like he swore he went ifyou fucking go back out there,
you've got a disease, you'regoing to die.
I was like jeez and I'll neverforget it.
It was quite shocking, but itwasn't true.
It's just, it wasn't true.
I've not died, I've thrived.
Thanks for checking out theStop Drinking podcast by Sober
(10:08):
Clear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly, then make sure to visit
wwwsoberclearcom.
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