"My own family doesn’t like me"

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Sharing my crazy so you don’t feel so crazy

"My own family doesn’t like me."

" There’s something wrong with me."

 "I can’t relate to them here. "I am nagging again. God I hate when I do that."

 If you’ve ever thought thoughts like these than this episode is for you I share some of my crazy emotions and thoughts and get to the bottom of what is actually creating them and then I’m hoping to help you so you don’t feel so lost in your own emotions 

Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey guys, how's it going today?
I'm waiting for my middle sonwhile he's at the band
rehearsal.
After school, my little ones areplaying at the playground and my
middle, my oldest, is somewhereat school.
So basically, I'm just waitingfor my kids.
And I wanted to share with yousome of my crazy, because I'm
hoping and I'm pretty sure thatone of you will relate.

(00:25):
And I think exposing the littlebit of this crazy will make us
all feel better because we'renot so crazy and it's okay.
So I think it's important toheal this and to comfort it and
to share it so that we arehealthy mentally and emotionally

(00:47):
okay so my latest crazy was whatI call it crazy but really was
just some feelings of inadequacybut this time it was me feeling
uh like my family doesn't likeme and my family thinks I'm
crazy which I can't rememberlast time that happened and it's

(01:10):
been a I don't even know if thatever has happened maybe it has
but I forgot but This time, weactually went on vacation during
that time, which was not a goodtime to have such feelings.
And I felt sad, and I had allthese reasons.
This is the funny part, right?
I had this list of reasons why Ithought my family doesn't like

(01:34):
me, they think I'm crazy, thatI'm different than them, and how
it's not fair, and whatever.
you know, kind of F them, like,I'll be on my own, blah, blah,
blah.
But the truth is, what wasactually here, I'm going to tell
you some of the reasons.
So I thought that, like, Icouldn't relate to them talking

(01:56):
about sports.
They couldn't relate to meconstantly correcting their
posture or There are manners,you know, of course, all the
annoying mom things that I'mdoing.
And, you know, I was really atthat, on that vacation, I read a
book about fasting.
So I was really obsessed aboutfasting and I was like, All I

(02:19):
wanted to think about and talkabout was fasting and how it's
so exciting and I love it.
And so I felt like my familywouldn't relate to me about
that.
You know, they're all boys andmen.
And so what else?
I just felt it got into my headthat because they're all boys
and because I'm a girl, I'm sodifferent and I'll never relate

(02:41):
to them and they'll never relateto me.
And it was all so dramatic.
And I felt so kind of like sucha victim about it.
I felt so sad about it.
And of course, it was justemotional, hormonal, dramatic
phase that phased out.
And it wasn't the truth of thesituation.

(03:03):
It was just a temporary crazy,as I call it.
But it was so real.
It was so strong for me and Ineeded to comfort it.
And I wanted to share it herewith you so that in case that
happens with you, you might notfeel alone, especially if you
live in a family of all boys andyou're the only girl, that you

(03:25):
might feel that way.
And I had myself convinced thatIt's because they're all boys
and I'm a girl for the firsttime in 13 years of living with
all boys.
Before that, I never had aproblem with it until that
period where I just felt thatI'm the only girl and I'm so

(03:46):
different and I can never relateto them.
So why am I sharing this withyou?
Well, Of course, being me, Ialways try to do the work on
myself and try to figure outwhat is really going on.

(04:08):
And of course, I didn't like theanswer, but the actual answer
was that I was the one who wasnot liking me.
I was the one who was notrelating to me.
I was being that person in myhead.
The boys and my husband hadnothing to do with it.
They were having a great time.
And never once have they saidanything to me about not

(04:31):
relating to me or anything likethat or not liking me.
It was all me.
I would see the situation likeme correcting their posture or
manners.
And I would hear myself sayingit.
And afterwards, I would beratemyself.
I would be mean to myself.
I was the one saying mean thingsto myself.

(04:51):
Like, oh my gosh, here you goagain.
That's why they hit you.
Like, it's so annoying, right?
Because that's how I felt thatthey were feeling, which is not
at all how they were feeling.
Maybe they felt like thatmomentarily, but then they moved

(05:12):
on to a better time.
But that was all me.
It was going on in my head andcreating my feelings.
But The kicker was that becauseI believed it so strongly and it
was such a...
I felt it so strongly and I'vebeen doing it repetitively for a

(05:33):
week or two with such a strongpresence that I wasn't even
noticing I was doing it until Istarted paying better attention.
And I noticed that I was justbullying myself over and over
and over again after eachincident.
And of course, then I would feellike, yes, nobody likes me and

(05:54):
I'm terrible and I can't relateand they can't relate to me.
So I felt really, reallyterrible all because of my own
head, what was going on in myhead.
So I'm sharing this so thathopefully it helps you when you
are feeling like somebodydoesn't like you, just check
what's going on in your head.

(06:14):
Whose side are you on?
Are you on your side or Or areyou actually voicing their side
and agreeing with them?
That's exactly what I was doing.
And I noticed it.
And then I started noticing moreand more.
And that gave me a chance toreally respond to my own bully

(06:35):
and say, you know, that's...
That's not really the case.
We're fine.
We're doing a good job.
I had a chance to stand up tomyself and answer to my own
crazy.
Yes, it sounds like I'm judgingmyself as I'm saying it because
I can hear my husband's voicekind of rolling his eyes at what
he would hear.

(06:55):
But this is for all the crazieslike me, not for my husband.
So this is the conclusion.
Whatever you feel like...
It's their feeling about you isactually your project.
You're feeling that yourself.
This is what you're creating.
And the crazies that you'recreating, you have a chance to

(07:19):
notice and then to answer and tocomfort and to really stop
creating, right?
Because as soon as I really gavelight to it, I saw it for what
it was.
I'm like, oh, okay, it's my ownvoice now.
I feel really terrible aboutmyself.
I don't like being nagging to mykids.
I don't like when I am judgingthem talking about sports.

(07:42):
I don't like being so girly, forexample.
I was saying, oh, you know.
thinking, you know, they're socool, they're always having fun,
they're always having a goodtime talking about sports, and
I'm so terrible, I'm a girl, I'mall this drama, I'm always
obsessed about food, and I wantto do this weird fasting, and no

(08:03):
one can relate to me.
Like, see how nasty I wastalking to myself?
Like, that's just not necessary.
Again, this is unsupervisedvoice that I was having in my
head, and...
that was running the show andcreating all these sad, sad
emotions.
I felt terrible, felt unloved,unliked, and sad.

(08:26):
So here we go.
This is me sharing my crazy soyou can feel better about your
crazy.
I have to stop calling it crazybecause it's not crazy.
It really is what happens whenwe live unconsciously and we
don't know what's happening.
is that our emotions startrunning us and we think, oh,

(08:48):
it's just because of the world.
No, it's all happening in myhead and I'm creating it all in
my head with my thoughts.
And if I take a look at mythoughts, then I can see, oh,
okay, that makes sense.
I feel so terrible.
It's because of what I'mthinking.
It's not my family's fault andit's definitely not the fault
that they're all boys and I'm agirl.
So...
That's why I'm here sharing withyou.

(09:09):
I'm hoping that it's superhelpful, and I would love to
hear that hopefully you arebecoming more aware of what
you're thinking, how you'refeeling, and how you're creating
it.
And the best part I find is thatwe don't even need to find new
thoughts to replace these onesbecause as soon as I realize

(09:30):
that these are just made-upthoughts, made-up things, the
feelings just disappear.
I no longer feel it.
I no longer believe it.
And I don't need to find newones.
That's how I really know thatI'm no longer believing these
thoughts is because I'm free ofthem, free of the feelings, and
I don't need to find the newones.

(09:51):
But as long as we're looking forthe new thoughts, new feelings,
that's kind of when we knowwe're kind of still swimming in
the old ones.
We're still attached to the oldstory.
And that's okay.
We need to be aware of that.
And that's how we build thatmuscle of awareness by just
simply noticing our thoughts.
All right, guys.

(10:12):
So this all happened onvacation.
We went somewhere warm forspring break.
And the kids, we had a pool.
The kids were playing in thepool a lot.
We were reading books by thepool.
Went on some hikes.
And had a great time overall,except for me feeling this way.
But then thankfully, I fixed itall and moved on with my life.

(10:35):
And now here I am sharing withyou.
All right, guys, have awonderful day and week.
And I also would love to hearyou're crazy because I love
crazy.
You know me.
Okay, love you.
Bye.