Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Vanessa, thanks for
having me.
I'm so excited to have you here, and the reason why is because
you run an organization that isvery it is like one of the most
brilliant organizations I haveever ever sort of seen.
In that you really seem to havecracked the code about how to
create like local relationshipsfor people.
So I actually just would loveto, if you just start by
(00:33):
explaining a little bit aboutwhat she's local is and where it
started.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Sure, so she's local
is the organization that powers
local conferences andexperiences for women in a way
that is affordable, relevant andrelatable, and I think that's
the nut that you're talkingabout.
Is that affordability piece.
You know there are a lot ofopportunities Well, I would say
(01:01):
a lot.
It's been growing over the lasteight years that we've been in
existence, where there are moreopportunities for women to come
together.
Unfortunately, not everyone canafford those opportunities, and
that's really the space and theplace where we show up and make
sure that women have thisopportunity that can fit into
(01:25):
their budget.
So you know, we keep it at $52to attend a full day conference,
but it is.
It is our joy to be able to doso much more than just a full
day conference.
So you know the connectionsthat women make last over the
course of the year, and thenwomen come together once again
(01:48):
to celebrate each other andlearn from each other.
We started with one conferencein the Metro West community, in
which I live in Massachusetts,and we have expanded now to
eight different communitiesacross the United States, six of
which are in Massachusetts,making sure that we create these
(02:10):
chapters in a place where womencan access them, not just by
affordability but also bylocation, really bringing those
women together within each ofthose communities to create
something that's kind of magical.
You know, we keep buildingthese chapters and people keep
coming, which I'm so gratefulfor.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's true, it's true.
So I attended my first one, somy first one last year, and I
like, literally within twoseconds, I'm like, oh my God.
So we had like, we had thespeaker, so we had our opening
speaker was that was NancyMetoff, who was amazing loved
her.
And then immediately went andbought her book and I've
actually given away like everycopy I have, so I actually think
(02:54):
I've done like six copies.
I need to buy like a seventhone now.
And then I hired a coach fromMaria Melagros.
She was the second keynotespeaker and I hired her Like I
messaged her and was like hey, Ireally want to work with you,
awesome.
And the thing about it was likethat we were.
I was able to just do somethinglike immediately and be like
yeah, exactly, it's just becausethey should like right down the
(03:16):
street, right.
So I'm curious like was that?
Did that factor into yourhyperlocalness as you were
figuring this out?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yes, so the
uniqueness of the chapters that
we create and the experiencesthat we create is that women are
right in your own community.
You know, we started with MetroWest.
In our first year we had 450people that attended.
(03:42):
We knew we'd really touched onsomething special.
We then did it a second year.
We sold out at 650 people, with100 on a wait list, and they
were coming from all over NewEngland.
But the model is such that it'scritical that women who live in
that community are highlightedand connected in order to be
(04:05):
friends, referral sources,mentors, coaches.
As you say, the model worksbecause each local community
stays in that local community,highlighting the women that are
living similar lives.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
That is like.
So I have to ask because youknow, having been in marketing
in so many years, the thing thateverybody always goes with is
we got to get bigger, we got togo bigger, we got to go national
, we got to go bigger.
And I figured out after a whilethat meashing down is where
it's at.
But I had to stub my toe a lot.
I'm curious to know did youstart out with it being this
hyper focused or did like?
And then I guess two questionsis do you get people being like,
(04:48):
oh my God, you should go bigger?
And how do you respond to that?
Because you must get some ofthat.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
All the time.
Yeah, you should have adifferent price point.
You could really charge morebecause it's so high quality.
Yes, we get all of that all thetime.
But the secret sauce is well,let me back up and say that you
know I had been let go in 2016from a job that I thought I was
going to retire in.
(05:16):
It was a real kick in the gutfor me and I didn't know where I
was going to go from there.
What I did know was I was nevergoing to work for a man again,
number one and two, that I wasalways going to be doing
something that really fueled mysoul in working for women, in
(05:37):
service of women and girls andfamilies.
So, with that knowledge, I wasgiven a ticket to a very large
conference within Boston and itwas 11,000 people.
For somebody who shy isoverwhelming for me.
(05:59):
Maybe I saw five people that Iknew.
Over the course of the day, Iwas worried about getting home
to my family.
I would not have afforded thatlarge price point for myself, so
I was very fortunate thatsomebody gave it to me.
But as I looked around, Iwondered people in my same
position having just lost a job,not knowing where the journey
(06:20):
was going to take me, how I wasgoing to support my family.
Where were those people andwhat were the opportunities that
they needed?
Because maybe they needed thoseopportunities most of all out
of all of us.
And so I sat in a breakout room.
I saw somebody from thecommunity in which I live and I
(06:43):
thought why don't I drive allthis way, potentially having
spent $35 parking Well,definitely spent that but
potentially having spent thisvery large ticket that other
people just would not afford forthemselves.
And I thought where are thelocal platforms for women to
(07:03):
highlight, within their ownlocal community, the amazing
women that I knew alreadyexisted in that community?
Being from the community ofMetro West, I've met so many
women who are not clamoring tostand on stages but yet have
these incredible stories ofresilience and survival that we
(07:26):
need to hear from.
And so that's how Metro Weststarted, and it's been a real
challenge for folks tounderstand that making this
local, small personal connectionI mean small.
300, 350 is not really thatsmall, but considering that we
went all the way up to 650,which we'll never do again it is
(07:49):
the conversations that you canhave on that personal level, the
phone calls that you can maketo the women who are already in
your community, that'll havecoffee with you, that will
support you through whateveryour journey is.
That's a secret sauce andalthough we need the larger,
inspiring, globally recognized,to see what's ahead and what's
(08:13):
possible for ourselves.
Yeah, you know I get goosebumpswhen I hear from Oprah and you
know I just globally recognizewell Oprah.
Obviously everybody getsgoosebumps.
You know there are so many ofthe same people we're seeing on
this large stage.
There are thousands of women inthe local community who are
(08:34):
getting it done that we canreally learn from.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You know, I really I
love that.
What you said about, like thelocal community, because you
mentioned when we were.
So I'm on the board, fulldisclosure, everyone.
I'm on the board for the SouthShore Conference for Women and
one of the things that Jen gaveme all the list of things to say
on the podcast no, she didn't,she didn't, I'm totally kidding.
I'm totally kidding, no, butI'm on the board.
(08:59):
And one of the things that wasvery interesting for me, as we
were talking about speakers andthings like that, is that you
were really adamant about andlike clear on your vision about
making sure that we were givingevery, that everyone had an
opportunity to speak and that weweren't simply grabbing the
same faces over and over again,which is again another departure
from typical conferences whereyou see the same people sort of
speaking.
(09:19):
They'll come back year afteryear after year.
And I'm curious, have you like?
One of the things that thatI've heard people say in some of
these organizations is thatthere's no, we can't find new
people or we're not able to findnew speakers, but you've
clearly managed to do that overthe course of the last several
years.
So I am curious, how does?
Is the word getting out forspeakers based off of the
(09:41):
members that are currently there?
Do you have a really greatmarketing system Like, how do
you feel like this engine goesto get those people who
typically would not submit?
It's?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
all word of mouth and
it has to maintain.
It has to be that way, thisgrassroots effort of connecting
with other women.
You know I've had conversations, even in Metro West.
I continue to haveconversations with women that
have never heard of us, thathave never heard of she's.
(10:11):
That's eight years within MetroWest and people still five
years in the South Shore.
You know, going into threeyears in Central Mass and
Pioneer Valley, people stillhave not heard about us.
Whether they're transient andthey're moving into the, you
know they just moved to a newcommunity or they've been
established for 20 years withinthat community and still are
(10:33):
just learning about us.
It is the experiences thatpeople share because they've
attended and they know theenergy and the space is
something that everyone shouldparticipate in.
Or they are committed tosupporting other women.
And you know you mentioned theboard and that you're part of a
(10:55):
board, you are a part of anorganization that is in service
of other women and that is veryunique.
I feel as though some of theother and I don't want to
compare ourselves every all ofthese networking opportunities
and conferences.
They're all necessary for theentire, the entire survival and
(11:18):
advancement of women within alocal community.
We are just one aspect of that.
I get that.
I strongly believe that we'rean opportunity, an affordable
opportunity for anotheropportunity for women to come
together.
But what is really critical isthat we know we're in service to
others rather than in serviceto ourselves or a machine that
(11:43):
is trying to, that is trying toget money from women, and that's
not our point.
And it's a very strongdistinction between us and those
that are trying to survive onthe backs of women's success.
That is not us and that's whatmakes us different.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I was actually just
talking to somebody about that,
about people who succeed on thebacks of other people, and I
went on a whole.
I went on a whole thing on thatone.
I'm curious, though, because,like you, have a vision, right,
your vision and already in thisconversation, you highlighted
some key things that typicallygo against the grain.
That, and I would argue thatit's a very like one of my one
(12:26):
of the earlier podcasts.
We had a mattressence oh God,I'm not going to say the word
right a mattressence coach, andshe works with mothers and
really and lactating mothers,and really is all about like
community and women's communityand how we evolved over the last
several millennia to have amore masculine approach to
(12:47):
business and things like that,whereas women tend to be more
community focused in terms ofhow we grow, which I thought was
like super interesting, but theworld tends to be very male
centered in many ways, and soI'm actually really curious.
The podcast is called StopShitting All Over Yourself.
So while you're doing this,you've got your vision, you're
trying to and you believe inthis.
This is early on in the day.
What were some of the thingsthat people said to you that
(13:10):
made you feel like I know thisis a good thing, but these
people are making me doubtmyself.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Man, that happens all
the time I've got eight years
Even now, oh my.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
God, I'm going to cry
, I'm so angry.
Yes, sorry, tell me more.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
No, but it's it.
Here's the thing that I knew Iwanted to do when I left my
previous position that I hadbeen at for such a long time.
I knew I didn't want to careabout what anybody said.
So when we started Metro West,there was a large organization
that said hey, we need to havelunch, I really need to talk to
(13:48):
you.
So the president of thisorganization.
I went and I sat down with himand he said you know, jen, you
didn't ask for permission tocreate this conference.
And I said red face, because Iyou know me, vanessa, when I,
when I feel as though I'membarrassed, I'm ashamed, but
(14:12):
I'm also angry as hell.
Red faced, I said there's nevera time that I will ask for
permission for creatingsomething that will change
people's lives.
And and this tells me moreabout who you are than who I am
(14:33):
who my, what my brand is, whatmy vision is, what my mission is
I'm not derailed from thatmission because I just don't
give a shit.
Other people are trying tocreate out of it, you know, and
there, and still to to this day,there are people that want to
create something that is totheir benefit.
(14:54):
And I get it.
We, you know we're teachingwomen hey, ask for, ask for what
you you're worth.
And we don't pay anybody forstepping on our stage other than
the, the, the backgroundpublicity that we work really
hard to give to everybody thatis donating their time.
We don't pay our keynotes.
We don't pay our panelists.
(15:16):
You really have to be inservice to women to be a part of
of our events and our mission.
And, and to this day, we'llstill have people who, who don't
believe in that and they justare not a part of it.
And that's okay, because thereare thousands of women who do
(15:38):
want to be a part of it.
And you know, sometimes it getsa little hairy when we're trying
to find keynotes, and keynoteshave to be experienced in
engaging 300, 400 women.
So typically you know they getcompensated for for that role.
That's their business.
So, granted, that is, that iswhat they do.
(15:59):
And I think what, what, what?
People who, um, people whotypically get paid but then are
coming in and donating.
What they love about it is thatyou're not walking into a room
where people don't care what youhave to say that you're just a
(16:21):
hired gun, you're a hired handand you're just there to share
something because theorganization or the business
just wants to check off a box.
let's say You're really in aroom of 300 women who can't wait
to celebrate you.
They have either paid $52 toattend, which is a lot out of a
(16:44):
woman's budget, and in somecases they're given a ticket and
they're thrilled to be there.
So everybody shows up andeverybody celebrates you and
that's your new following.
You've got 300 new best friends, as opposed to people who are
like, yeah, that made sense,maybe I'll buy the book, maybe I
(17:05):
won't.
Now you have a fan club, andthat's the difference between
the energy in the room for usand for other opportunities out
there.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I love that Now you
have a fan club.
You know it's like and it'strue, because I'll tell you
people.
I was on the panel last yearand people recognize me in town
now and you know and like andit's and over time, because my
next phase of life is going tobe speaking more, speaking right
, and so it's like all right,I'm going to get to know people
because I want to be hyper local, and that's one of the reasons
(17:36):
why last year I ostensibly wentto the South Shore Conference,
but what ended up happening was,I think I think I was like
crazy stocked Jen and was likeyou, not not you Jen, the other
Jen to be like.
You actually introduced me toJen.
I'm like where's Jen?
Where's Jen?
I want to be a part of this.
That's awesome.
I'm curious, though, because Igot to say you're like, so
organized.
So I just have to tell anyonewho's listening she's so
(17:57):
organized.
I don't know if it's likeyou're only organized Like.
That's not true.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Well, you up there,
I'm glad it appears that way.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
So I'm actually
curious.
So one of the things that Irespect a lot about how the
organization is run is that youhave a consistent pattern that
you rinse and repeat, rinse andrepeat, rinse and repeat.
And I noticed that earlier onand I had some like I was like,
oh, I'll suggest this, I'llsuggest that.
And then, as I started to watchyou do it, I realized that the
reason why you can do it thisway is because there's very
(18:28):
little variation in terms of thestructure within each
individual space, even thoughthe people might be different in
the topics.
And so I'm, and the reason whyI'm bringing this up is because
I think you've made somethingvery duplicatable right.
And so, as this has grown, howinvolved, like, how involved are
you as it starts to grow?
Like, do you have people whohelp you out?
(18:49):
Like in, like kind of help runthe other ones?
Like, do you sleep?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
That's two different
questions.
So I don't sleep.
I think I'm going intoperimenopause and that and I'm
up, I'll read and that'll put meto sleep, or I'll just sit
there thinking about what Ishould be doing for the next day
.
So I don't.
I'm hoping that that will lastforever, but I'm okay with it
because I got a lot of.
I got a lot of shit to do.
(19:17):
But you know, in working incorporate environments, in
working in nonprofitenvironments, for as long as I
have, I know that once you stepout and release the most
important aspects of yourbusiness, the business then
(19:38):
loses sight of its mission andit gets a little, it gets
diluted.
So, do I have help you, therest of the board in the South
Shore?
I've got, you know, between 15and 20 women in each of the
different chapters where we'reserving local women.
I work with volunteers and Ilove doing that.
(20:03):
Do I need help?
We've gotten to almost a tippingpoint now with a chapter that
you helped us develop, With awonderful team out in Kansas
City, Missouri, Kansas City,Kansas.
We're so excited about aMidwest chapter.
You know there will be a timewhere I will need to hire folks
(20:28):
who are as committed as I am.
You know, how do you that'swhat I'm learning now how do you
let go and how do you ensurethat somebody believes as
strongly as you do and ascommitted as you do to the work
that you have given your life to?
Yeah, I'm at it.
(20:51):
I'm at that precipantprecipance, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I think you're not
alone.
A lot of my listeners are smallbusiness owners or have gone
off on their own to do something, and we run upon that same
thing where you get to a pointwhere, in order for you to scale
up, you need to have morepeople to do it.
But if you do that, then youreally run the risk of your
brand now being out of yourcontrol.
(21:17):
Like, how do you navigate thatspace?
Yeah, wow, I wish I had somewords for wisdom, words of
wisdom for you on that one.
But I think you know, I thinkfor me, what I ended up doing
was I actually ended up like Iwent.
I ended up going to a completelydifferent direction and
retreating in and now doing thepodcast and doing the other
things that I do, because Irealized that what I was trying
(21:39):
to do was very different and soI was like all right, you know
what I'm going to do my podcast,I'm going to do my TV show, I'm
going to do that kind of thingand then leverage the conference
and my networking and all ofthose things to get that
exposure for the message.
Because, exactly what you said,you run into that problem, I
think, that with you, especiallybecause it's already growing.
(22:00):
Now anyone who's listening whois interested in this you're
going to need to reach out toJen Maseda and learn about it,
or you can reach out to me andI'll tell you how much I love it
and then you can talk to Jen.
So I'm curious for you becauseyou have done a lot of
networking, because I imaginethat when you went to that
conference many years ago,you're meeting, that you see a
couple people and now you'restarting to network and build
(22:20):
your relationships.
One of the things that mylisteners all struggle with and
you mentioned you were shy isthey're technically typically
introverts, maybe neurodivergent, but definitely I'm nervous,
I'm anxious, I'm scared.
How do you feel?
Building a local network helpsto create more of security
around those feelings so thatyou feel more confident going
(22:42):
out.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yeah, I was going to
say I really dislike networking,
but I understand the need forit and it's much easier when I
know the impact of the work thatI do, that I can talk about it
and engage other women in it.
I would say that gettinginvolved in she's Local and I
(23:10):
tell each of our board this,whether they are extroverts or
introverts the role of the boardis to advocate and serve women
within their local community andencourage them to be panelists,
to be keynotes, to get engagedin a way that will benefit them.
And taking the card of she'sLocal, which is just the mission
(23:37):
of each one of these differentlocal conferences, for instance,
the South Shore Conference,taking that out of your back
pocket as something that canopen a conversation and be of
value to something else.
So we all men have it a littlebit different, where they can
(23:57):
get together and maybe I'm beinga generalist here but they can
get together and they can talkabout sports.
You can literally walk up to anyman at any table or any bar or
any sporting event or anythingand say whether they watch
sports or not because I have athank God a man who's not
interested in watching sportsbut you can walk up and say, hey
(24:23):
, how about those red socks?
Or how about right and rightthere they have an immediate
commonality.
Well, with she's Local.
You see a woman.
You can walk up to her and say,hey, have you ever heard of the
South Shore Conference forWomen or the Metro West
Conference for Women?
Because I wonder if you have astory to share and that gives
(24:45):
you the opportunity forimmediate commonality.
And then that sort of bridgesthe next phase of your
conversation, where you're thentalking about the rest of your
lives that you're passionateabout and important, so having
something that you believe in sostrongly that you you know I
(25:12):
haven't met a woman that I havesaid that to that says, oh no,
that's not for me.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
It's always.
It's always for you.
Every one of us has a journeyto share that we can all learn
from.
Every life has value, and whensomebody answers your life, you
are going to learn somethingfrom them, and that's our
mission.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I love that.
No wonder I love thisconference so much and if you're
actually so right.
So I went to Provincetown and alot of us in P-town I'm like,
you know, every place I wentinto I was like, oh, are you
coming to the South ShoreConference, woman?
And you know, some said yes,some said no, and the ones that
said no, some of them had evenheard about it.
And so I was basically like,here, let's talk.
And I was able.
I made so many friends up anddown the main street, just up
(25:56):
and down the street, because itwas like and it was all because
of the South Shore Conferencefor Women that I just used as a
connection.
Yeah, and you know, I thinkthat's actually interesting,
right, because let's say, forexample, I was still in
marketing, right, and I go andI'm like a marketing coach or
whatever, and I go into thisstore and I start talking to
them and now I'm trying to likebuild that relationship with
(26:16):
them because eventually one dayI want to pitch to them.
Right, let's just say there'sno non-weird way to do that,
right?
Yeah, there's literally nonon-weird way to do that.
But, like you know, and one ofthe things my therapist and I
talk about a lot is that that'salso very transactional.
And then I'm going in there andsaying I want something from
you, and now I'm talking.
So that's weird just becauseit's not about the human, it's
(26:36):
about what I can get from you,and what I feel like this has
done is it kind of almost addslike a runway to any
conversation where you startwith the conference and then
you'll see them at theconference or you'll build these
relationships and maybe six toeight months down the line you
get business or whatever.
Yeah, but it's nottransactional.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yes, yes, absolutely,
you hit it.
You hit the nail on the head,absolutely.
It's more of a how can I be inservice to you, which I think
really disorients people becausethere's so many.
Well, you know, truly, peopleare oh my gosh, this is amazing.
(27:16):
You're really trying to dosomething that's helpful for me
in the long run, helping theaudience that will be attending,
because they'll hear that story, yeah, but essentially it is.
We've created it as a gift ofan opportunity to, because being
in service gives you more inthe long run than not doing so
(27:44):
and having that transactionalrelationship, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
So, with all the
things that you do right,
because you do a lot and you'rebusy as hell how do you take
care of yourself, like, how doyou make sure you have time for
yourself?
Do you make time to take careof yourself?
Or and no, this isn't memothering you, I'm just actually
curious, I know.
So tell me more, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, you know, I
have forgiven myself not being
great at a lot of things,Whether it's being on time to
pick up my kids after school orat their activities, or whether
it's, you know, showing up todate night in a way that I'm
really present and notdistracted.
(28:25):
I'm okay with some weeks nottaking as great care of myself
and I think that's really thebalance, because I don't balance
life well, but I balance theforgiveness of missing things or
missing opportunities well,which for me is is the best way
(28:49):
that that I can work, becauseI'm pretty hard on myself.
You know, for just me, I gothree times a week to Zumba.
I love to dance, so I do avirtual class.
So I just go down to mybasement, I jump online, do the
virtual class.
It kicks my butt, you know.
(29:10):
I dance it out and then I moveon with the rest of my day so
that I schedule in every Monday,wednesday and Thursday to get
that done.
That's critical.
I can feel it in my body, youknow, when I don't do that, I
can feel it in my mental state.
The rest of it, I just have tobe present for my family as my
(29:33):
number one priority and then,you know, being present for the
women that I serve is second tothat and I'm not moving as fast
as some chapters maybe wouldwant or some locations maybe
would want.
But moving slowly andpurposefully and rechecking
(29:57):
whether you know whether myfamily is okay or whether I'm
okay is just.
It's just part of throwingthings around and hoping that
it'll balance themselvessometimes.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I love what you said
about going slowly, because I
think that like that's anotherreally very unhealthy message
that we get a lot, you know,just in anyone who's running
anything.
It doesn't matter what you'redoing, do it fast, do it quick,
hurry up Hustle.
It's like it's exhausting.
I'm really curious about this,because breaking myself of that
addiction was very, very hard tolike constantly be doing.
(30:33):
Did you have you always beenmeasured or did you have to,
like you know, did you just havea aha moment where you became,
started to deliberately be moreintentional?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah, I would say
multiple things probably
happened to say that I needed tostop comparing myself to others
.
I actually don't go on socialmedia as much as I probably
should for my business because Iget into that cycle of oh man,
(31:09):
she just did a talk out in, youknow, timbuktu and why aren't I?
doing more of those kinds ofthings.
Or you know she just traveledwith her family to Spain.
Why aren't I doing more ofthose things?
I mean, it's like you know it'sconstant and it's fast and the
quantity of it is reallyoverwhelming, the amount of
(31:31):
things people are showing youthat they're doing.
You know you don't know thatthe backstory, but essentially
it looks like everything intheir life is going so fantastic
and you begin to say or atleast I do that you know, why
aren't I doing more?
Why aren't I showing up more?
(31:51):
Why aren't I doing more for myfamily?
Or, you know, for my business?
And it gets you nowhere, youknow.
It gets you in a place wherethen you can't do anything for
them because you're sodistraught over not being great
that it begins to distract youfrom who you really should be
(32:18):
and the time that you reallyshould be spending and the time
that you can't do and a lot tothe things that are important to
you.
I think you know COVID really,the experience of COVID and
having to shut things down againfor a shy person, only having
to get on Zoom, was a dream Metoo.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I was like man COVID
was the best for me.
I didn't have to leave thehouse.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, no, truly you
know.
And during COVID my dad wassick, was up here in Boston,
could not visit him within thehospital setting.
So there's a lot of tragediesto COVID.
But it definitely reflected tome what it was that I really
(33:04):
wanted to do, what I was goingto accept in my days and what I
was no longer going to acceptand just not accept in the days
that followed.
Because you never know, life isshort and I think age presents
itself with a I just don't givea shit attitude.
(33:25):
I'm hoping that I just crossedinto 51 now and, man, I'm hoping
that when I get into my 60sI'll be even more like oh, just
go by your business, couldn'tcare less, I'll stop shaving.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I already did.
I hit 40 something and I waslike, yep, I'm done.
So I'm 47.
I stopped shaving my life.
The only time I actually showmy legs are when they start to
poke and I'm like, okay, this isreally uncomfortable.
But my wife's like, hey, that'spokey, I'm like I don't care.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
And it's great.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
I can't 50,.
I'm like I'm going to care evenless when I'm 50, and I'm like,
oh my god, how little am Igoing to care when I'm 60?
.
I feel like I understand mygrandmother so much more now I'm
just like now I know you justdidn't care.
You're just like I don't give ashit.
Does that matter?
I think that what I'm findingis that we're getting younger
and younger as we start to careless and less right.
(34:18):
So I'm 40 something and I'mfinding that there's 30 year
olds who are starting to be likeyou know what I'm just going to
.
I appreciate the ephemeralityof life.
I wish that I had had that.
I had the carefree-ness at thatage, but I was also an idiot.
So I feel like I wish I hadsome of my wisdom.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yes, I know, I
totally agree, but I feel like
you asked me about what he.
How do you get this no care,mission, focused, really really
driven attitude?
And sometimes it's just youdon't know any better, I really
(35:00):
don't.
I try to keep this attitude ofI'm just going along, I've made
lots of mistakes and I say dumbthings that I don't mean and
that you can never get back, andI hurt people's feelings, not
on purpose, but just because Ican't filter it fast enough from
here to here.
I really feel like having thatsense of I'm not sure.
(35:26):
I'm just going to try it and ifit works, yeah, so be it.
Somebody can tell me that Ishouldn't be doing it, but why
not just do it and take yourtime to do it and have that
childlike approach of let's justsee, because maybe it'll work?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Maybe it'll be great.
I love that childlike right.
I feel like I was talking tosomeone the other day and I was
saying I feel like my childlikeimagination was just burnt out
of me in my childhood and I feellike it's coming back now, just
like you're saying.
It's like oh yeah, no, let'sjust do it and see what happens.
You're not super risk averseand I think that that's were you
(36:12):
always risk tolerant.
I think I grew into risk averse.
I'm wondering as you got older,you got more like we only live
once.
Let's take a risk.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, I'm not to the
point where I would like to be,
especially in business, takingrisks on collaborations.
I'm always, I always want tohold the work that we do here,
because if I let pieces of it go, is that going to ruin it in
some way or is somebody going totake something from us that we
(36:43):
can't get back.
So in that respect I don'tthink that I am so carefree.
But I've always had thischildlike sense of joy, even
through some, some really tough,terrible choices that I made in
(37:05):
my life.
I still always felt likeeverything was eventually gonna
be okay, and it might just bebecause I've got ADHD and I just
can't remember what happened.
If someone cheats you, when youjust don't remember, you're like
, oh yeah, okay, I know, but youknow I will say for your
audience, I want to be veryclear that I'm extremely lucky
(37:26):
to be able to have that.
Who gives a fuck attitude?
I know how lucky I am.
You know I do this as volunteerwork, so you know I've worked
hard in my life to save moneyand support our family.
I'm now working hard to prove aworth without that financial
(37:49):
gain, and I'm very fortunatethat I'm able to do that and to
give so much to an organizationthat I believe so strongly in.
Not everyone can do that and Iget that and I want to be super
clear that that you know peopleneed to be focused on survival
and and supporting theirfamilies, but try to remember
(38:12):
that a mission focused job and amission focused priority feeds
your soul and I strongly believethat money follows that.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I strongly believe
that Dude you look like so
freaking aligned, because thatis when I?
The reason why I shut down mybusiness was because I realized
I didn't want to charge peoplefor that particular skill set
anymore and I wanted to make mymoney doing my research,
administration stuff, which isgreat and totally fine, and then
and speaking.
So those are the two ways Iwanted to do it, but my mission
(38:47):
I don't want to have anything,for the exact reason that you
mentioned is that the work thatI'm doing in this space is from
the heart.
It is a gift that was given tome from wherever and I want to
pass it on in that way.
And going back to what you weresaying earlier, I'm gonna bring
this back to Captain Assel withthe asking for permission,
where you know, when we wereyounger, we felt, maybe, like we
(39:11):
had to ask for permission, andnow it's like I think when
you're mission driven, you canafford and mission driven and
like, going back to what you'resaying, it's an enormous
privilege to have theopportunities to be able to take
those risks, because somepeople cannot.
Yes, I think that the importanceis that the people with
privilege in that way are ableto say this is what I'm doing
(39:31):
with this to like act, to sayyou know what you can do things
with it.
It's not always a bad thing.
Like you have it, let's figureout how to share it with more
people, rather than I have it.
Let's just you know, hold on toit.
So like you've got to createsomething so incredible because
you never asked for permission.
You know why do I have to askyou for permission?
But I think there is thisprevailing belief that to do
(39:52):
something bold, if you were of acertain archetype, you need
permission.
So I actually just curious toknow who is it?
Just out of curiosity, who wereyou supposed to get permission
from to do that?
Like, who was the authorityfigure that you had in mind?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Well, who didn't he
think he was, you know?
You know, I mean not in a likewho do you think you are kind of
way, but who?
Because if I were a man who hadcreated this opportunity for
other men, do you think someonewould have invited them to lunch
and said you didn't ask mepermission for starting your
(40:30):
business?
That would never happen.
Oh, my god, no, what wouldhappen to a man?
And you know what.
What is something that reallymoves me is anger.
I am constantly fueled andmotivated by by saying that's
not right, this is an injusticeand I'm gonna do something about
(40:55):
it.
You know, I was let go at theage of 45, which puts you at a,
you know, at a protected levelwithin Massachusetts of being
let go from an organization.
But that didn't protect me.
And and then I started thinking, you know, I had spent so many
(41:16):
hours of the week of my lifefocused on this particular
organization.
And and what?
What did it get me?
Well, it lost me a network ofsupport because I was working
all the time.
I didn't have, you know, theluxury of building outside
support.
It was really all connected toto that position.
(41:39):
It lost me time with my family,my kids as babies, growing up
into toddlers, and you know,walking, and it lost me time in
seeing all of that happen.
It lost me the strength of arelationship.
You know building a relationshipwith my husband and making sure
(42:00):
that we made it through thosethose years of toddler hood and,
and you know, beginning ourlives together.
You know it.
It lost me so much that I thencreated she's Local but, you
know it it got me so flippin madthat I was like I'm gonna make
sure that there is anopportunity for other women to
(42:23):
learn and to be transparentabout their journeys, so that we
all don't fall into that sametrap, get taken advantage of and
and don't know what resourcesand opportunities are available.
Let's create something so thatnobody needs to be in that
position where they are toldthat they need to ask for
(42:43):
permission because it's a newday, we no longer ask for it, we
just go for it.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Dude, fucking mic
drop.
We're ending with that.
That's just.
That is where we're at.
That is like so freaking good.
I'm gonna like pull it out andput it all over LinkedIn.
That is so good.
Okay, chills, fyi.
Okay so.
Jen, before we wrap up, Iwanted to you know.
I know that there's any peoplelistening.
We're like, oh my god, how do Istart?
If she's local, where do I findshe's local?
(43:11):
Tell, tell, tell our listenerswhere do they find you and how
do they get in touch?
Yeah, go to our website,wwwshe'slocalorg.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Find us on LinkedIn,
instagram, facebook.
Shoot us a message.
You're not.
You're not sending a message to, to a robot or to somebody
outside of our organization.
You are literally sending amessage to me.
Let me know if you're excitedabout taking us to another part
of the United States or theworld.
We are ready to go and ready toserve.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Oh rock on, guys,
look it up.
It's the most.
It's the greatest thing I everdid.
I'm so excited.
Thank you so much, jen, foryour time today, thank you,
thank you, thanks for having me.