January 3, 2024 • 37 mins
Embracing the ebb and flow of life's relentless pace, bestselling author and speaker Nancy Medoff joins me, Minessa Konecky, for an insightful conversation that's sure to reframe your perception of resilience. You'll feel the tension ease from your shoulders as we navigate the landscape of self-care, sharing stories of how the art of recovery is not just a counterbalance to burnout but a foundation for thriving in both personal and professional spheres. Our exchange extends an invitation to you, the listener, to redefine the way you approach rest and productivity.
This episode invites you into the heart of our reflections, where memories walk hand in hand with mindfulness. Discover the transformative power of regular walks, quality sleep, and setting boundaries, not as mere strategies for enhanced output, but as cornerstones of a fulfilling life. Nancy and I ponder on how these small, yet intentional choices ripple out to create a richer, more vibrant existence.
Finally, step behind the curtain to see how setting clear boundaries with clients and partners is crucial in maintaining not just our sanity, but our creative integrity. I'll reveal strategies from my professional playbook on managing expectations and upholding the sacred space where our best work comes alive. Wrapping up with the successes and inspirations drawn from Nancy's Cape Cod retreat, we underscore the continued journey of growth and the importance of staying connected with mentors who champion our evolution. Join us for an episode that not only illuminates these vital themes but also emboldens you to take the actions that return you to your best self.
CONNECT WITH NANCY
CONNECT WITH ME MORE AT:
http://www.stopshoulding.me
https://www.instagram.com/minessa.konecky/
🎵 Thank you to Karacter for allowing me to use Telepathy (2005) in my intro.
This is one of my favorite albums of all time.
👉 Check it out: https://karacter.bandcamp.com/album/karacter
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello there, I'm Vanessa Konnicki, and this is
Stop Shitting All Over Yourselfa show to remind you that you do
know what you're doing and youare enough just as you are.
Each episode, I connect with anincredible human being who has
walked the path that you're on,the path that leaves other
people's expectations for whoyou're supposed to be and the
decisions that you're supposedto make by the wayside, To
(00:26):
replace those ideas with ablueprint for your life that you
design.
These stories will inspire youand their tactics will help you
to lay the bricks on the road toa happier and more joyful you,
as always.
Thank you so much for listeningand, if you're on YouTube, drop
a like or subscribe to get allthe feel good content from
Vanessa TV.
(00:47):
And now let's listen in as Ihave a conversation with Nancy
Medoff, bestselling author ofthe book Unmute Yourself Speak
Up to Stand Out, Keynote Speaker, podcast host and a world model
for anyone who's trying to findtheir voice and stand up for
themselves in corporate America.
She has had such a busy 2023, Iam so thrilled she was able to
join us to talk about herphilosophies on using rest and
(01:09):
recovery to build resilience,which is in sharp contrast to
our hustle culture.
Today, In this conversation, wedove into some serious shit,
not the least of which isrevisiting work's dominance in
our culture and in our worth.
Let's listen in and see whatshe said.
It's so good and it's all aboutunderstanding how important
(01:32):
rest is in our lives.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So this is a great segue.
So I'm getting ready for akeynote and it's a newer topic
for me.
It's authentic leadership,which I can speak on that.
But, and resilience, and when Ido a keynote, like I'm not
going to get up there and makeshit up, Like I need to do the
research.
So I'm doing the research andI'm like, okay, resilience, blah
(01:57):
, blah, blah.
And what I found recently nowthis is not, you know, I just
found this like this week isthat and this is a Harvard
business review study thatpeople think about resilience
and they think about grit, likein the Marine Corps, and the
grit and the grind and it'sactually not Truly resilient
(02:17):
people.
They recover.
I was going to say rest, theyrecover.
So if you're in the performancezone, you need to give as much
time in the recovery zone.
And this article talks aboutfacts and data that supports
that.
And I think about that and I'mlike, I think about, I thought
about this story because I usedto travel a lot more than I do
(02:38):
now I still travel a lot and Iremember I would be on the plane
, right, Vanessa, and I wouldget on a Wi-Fi and I would be
like, okay, just one more secondblah, blah, blah, blah, right,
and then I would close my laptop, I would get in the cab and I
(02:59):
would boot up my laptop againand I would use my phone.
I'd use the Wi-Fi from my phoneto send out all the emails and
I'm like what are you doing?
And I remember I was talking toa friend and she said I don't
remember what the context was,but what I heard was she reads
on the plane, like casualreading, Like nonfiction, like
(03:22):
fiction, Fiction.
She checks her bag, which Ithought was interesting, and
I'll get to that in a second.
And she did one more thing.
So I remember I was like, wow,so I took a flight and I'm like
I'm not going to do any work.
And it was awesome.
It was like, imagine the liketwo and a half hours you can't
(03:46):
be reached, You're not working,or three hours, whatever.
And I read, you know, I caughtup on magazines, whatever.
And I started thinking abouthow am I going to thrive on the
road?
I want to thrive on the road,thrive on the road, thrive on
the road, because I was on theroad all the time.
So that's, I started doing thatand that, in essence, is the
recovery piece.
I mean it was interesting.
It was.
It was interesting Like I usedto go to Vegas.
(04:09):
I used to go to Vegas and Iwould take the most possible
quickest flight out of therethat I could.
So if the trade show, I did itlike three, I'd be on a five pm
flight out and I fine, just getme home.
And then I'm like why am Idoing this?
So I started staying and Iwould book a spa appointment.
You know, four days on on myfeet in a row at a trade show,
(04:30):
and then I'm getting on theplane, I'm sleeping on the plane
, it might be delayed.
I get back home.
You know, I'm not like restingwhen I get home, dealing with
everything at home.
I'm like noob.
So I invited some friends whowere there at the conference
with me and I'm like, let's stayan extra day, let's go, let's
have a nice dinner and go to thespa.
So we did.
And then the next morning Iwould get on a plane and I would
(04:52):
use my company's time to flyhome, Like why am I sacrificing
my sleep to get home?
You know, it's, it's um, it'sinteresting.
So then this, this many yearslater, for me to read and
realize, as I'm doing thisresearch that resilience is tied
to recovery.
Yeah, I'm like that.
(05:12):
That makes a.
That makes a shit ton of sense.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You know what else makes a lot of sense.
Actually, you said.
You said that as like I hadthis moment right.
Okay, so think about this humanbody.
If you're going to go and workout, you're never going to work
out five days in a row.
The same muscle, constantlydoing higher and heavier weights
, because any trainer, we allknow that that's a surefire way
to injure yourself physicallyand get you to a point where you
(05:38):
can't work out for months,where you need surgery, right.
And what's interesting is, Ithink that for the last several
decades, I would say I would saythat, like several decades ago,
the conversation about workstarted, where we're all like
working, working, working and soon, but at the time there was
no internet, so we were able toclock out and leave and go, but
work was still very important inParamount.
(06:00):
Now, with the internet comingright and with us being able to
work from home and, like yousaid, get in the car, tether to
your hotspot, get on the plane,you can actually have a
completely uninterrupted time ofworking.
Right, and when you think aboutyour brain as also a muscle,
what you're essentially doing isjust constantly working your
brain, and when I talk to mysister, I call it like my brain
(06:23):
being parched, because, like,eventually, what happens is my
brain starts to feel almost likeI've dried it out and it's like
desiccated.
But I'll keep going because Idon't do this anymore.
But for years I would just keepgoing, keep working, and it's
for some reason I thought that,well, the brain was an exempt
muscle, right, or that's not,and I don't know what I was
(06:43):
actually thinking, but whateverit was that was happening, the
actions that I was taking weresaying my mental health, my
physical health, nothing is asimportant as getting this email
out to someone.
So I feel like that's alsosomething like to question when
you say, like, why do we do that?
It is.
I asked them the other day.
I said why are you on thisearth?
Are you on this earth to sendthat email?
(07:03):
And they're like actually I'mnot, but my kid needs me right
now.
I'm like, then, fucking, don'tsend the email and go talk to
your kid.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
And think about what you missed.
That's your point, like that'swhat you're saying, so you're
gonna miss a moment with yourchild to get the work done, or
whatever the case may be.
This was not that profound.
I was in the taxi in Chicagowhen I was there a couple of
weeks ago and I wasn't on myphone because I hadn't been back
in a while.
So you know and I love it theLakeshore Drive, driving by Lake
(07:35):
Michigan, all these memories.
It was just a remarkableexperience because I love the
time that I lived there and Ipurposely didn't look at my
phone and I took it all in andI'm like, okay, I remember this
and I remember walking over hereand I remember hanging out with
my friends over here and when Itrained for the marathon.
I remember this spot and allthis stuff and I would have
missed all that.
Think about what you're missing.
(07:56):
Think about what you're missing.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
And those feelings are so great.
Right, because, like, when youlook at your you know, because
every time you saw it, you getyour serotonin and your
endorphins.
You're like, oh yeah, right.
But like, and on our phoneswhich I don't have with me, just
pretend this is my phone it'sthe dopamine hit.
You know that I'm looking forthere's oh look, I did the work,
I did the work.
There's also, I think, anotherelement of it for many people
which I think that at some pointwe've all, we've done enough
(08:23):
emotional, mental work withtherapists and coaches and so on
, to be able to like divorceourselves from this, but it does
take a lot of work.
Is this idea that you know we,the purpose of being resilient
is so you can work more, right?
Ultimately, all the things thatwe're doing is so that we can
work more, and so I feel likethat's.
The other question is what areyou being resilient for exactly?
So actually, I'm curious aboutthat as you were doing your
(08:44):
research.
Is there any question thatyou're asking is like what are
we being resilient for?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
You know it's interesting In this particular
case.
You know this company wants totrain their employees how to be
more resilient.
So the question is well, do youwant them to be resilient so
they can thrive or do you wantthem to be resilient so they can
work more?
That's one question.
Oh, I just had it.
(09:09):
It was on the tip of my I justI just had it.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I hate it when that happens when you're like
literally, the words are there.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
That's what I'm like there's so much in my brain.
Oh, so there's this book that Ijust bought.
Of course, I forget the name ofit and it's about.
It's about aging.
It's an Oprah book.
I'll find it while we'retalking.
But so what are you beingresilient for, was your question
.
For me, it's so I can livelonger, like at this point, I
(09:39):
don't, I don't, I don't want torecover.
I'm not trying, I'm not, I'mnot focusing on on recovering so
that I can work more, or sothat, so that I can, you know,
be there for my kids.
I'm working on recovery becauseI want to take care of my body
and my mind, because the olderyou get, the more you realize
you don't, you can't make you.
(10:00):
First of all, you don't have asmuch time to make it up.
Second of all, your body startsbehaving.
Your body starts behaving theway it should, based on how
you're treating it.
So like when I was in mytwenties, if I, if I, like you
know, had a week you knowwhatever a week where I ate like
I was on death row, I'd be like, okay, I'll have some tabcola
and salad for three days andI'll lose 10 pounds and
(10:21):
everything will be fine, I'll beback to normal.
I can't do that anymore and themore crap I put in my body or
the more sleep that I losebecause I was binging on Netflix
, that I'm never going to getthat sleep back.
And it affects me even more theolder I get.
So the recovery for me is aboutabout being my best self,
(10:44):
physically and mentally.
I have to recover.
I mean, you know, I had afriend that came to visit a
couple of days ago and, forwhatever reason, you know I go
for a walk every morning and Ididn't get my walk in and he
showed up at noon and he said Iwant to go into town and I said
so, I need to take my walk.
You can have, if you want fun.
(11:04):
You know, if you want fun,energetic, engaging Nancy,
you'll go for this walk with meor you'll give me this time to
go for the walk.
If you want, nancy, that'sgoing to be irritable, sluggish
and and, like you know, caddydemand that I go into town with
you, because I'm telling youright now, if I don't go for my
walk it's going to affect mementally and physically.
So I kind of went down a rabbithole there.
(11:25):
But I think that to me that'sthe importance.
How am I going to thrive?
And I know that I need to walk,or I know that I need to get
sleep, or I know that I need to.
You know, watch the junk food.
If I've, if I've been havingthree or four days in a row of
junk food, it's, it's theboundaries that you create with
yourself that you don't keep,that you know you don't have the
same, you don't have the sameforgiveness that you had when
(11:48):
you were in your twenties.
You don't.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
You, you know, I want to first say you said you went
down a rabbit hole, but you kindof actually needed to go down
that rabbit hole for me.
That's why I needed to hearwhat you said.
You had a script that you usedwhere you were talking about
your friend and you're sayingokay, if you want to get this,
Nancy, come on the walk with me.
If you want to get this, Nancyand I actually have all I've
struggled with it You're so goodwith scripts, Guys I should
actually hold on.
(12:11):
We got to just pull this outjust to be on the safe side,
because we're promoting it.
Yeah, okay, so good with scripts.
This has got a lot of scriptsin it.
Guys, make sure you get Nancy'sbook.
That's how I found her.
But you know, because I haveboundaries and then I'm bad
about keeping them with myselffor sure sometimes.
But then other times I'm alsobad.
I'm worse with it when there'ssomeone else involved, because
(12:33):
then I'll be like, well, I don'twant to make them feel bad, I
don't know how to say the thing,but like having that language
that you just said, it's suchgreat and it's so simple.
When you said it I was like Iwas actually thinking to myself.
I was like God, that's sosimple.
Why didn't I think of that?
But you said it and I was likeI'm so glad you said it, because
now I have those words.
I never would have thought ofit, because I'm not very good at
coming up with scripts, but I'mreally good at using them when
(12:53):
I have them.
So thank you for going downthat rabbit hole.
But to your point about youknow, being your body, not
treating you the same way.
It's so funny because when Iwas in you know, I was a bouncer
at the Paradise for a couple ofyears.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Oh, my God, the Paradise.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Rock Club.
Yes, I worked there for acouple of years.
In fact, one of my dear friends, bill, is the manager there.
It's fabulous.
No-transcript.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Is it?
This isn't Billy Bud, is it?
Did you know, billy?
Oh my god, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Billy Bud too.
Oh my god, I know it's notBilly Bud, but I freaking love
Billy Bud.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Billy Bud has the seats next to me.
I used to be his Patriot seasonticket holder and he has the
seats next to me.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
You are kidding, that is so amazing, the Wildman.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I love him, that is what a small world.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I know right, he's great.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So, uh, this is you know what's small.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
This is really I.
Actually, this is one of thereasons why I love like I love
having been in Boston for solong is that now we get to this
space, this space where, likeyou can bring up somebody and
someone else knows it, and I'mlike damn, I really do, I do
live here.
Yeah, um, but when I did work atthe Paradise, uh, I mean I was
a drunk, you know I drank allthe time, partied all the time
Like I mean I was.
You know, you're in a rock cluband I could easily dude.
(14:08):
I would drink till God knowswhat time in the middle of the
night and then drive home, wakeup at five, go to work, and I
could do this for four or fivedays in a row and, just you know
, eat the McDonald's and recoverand it's fine.
Now, if I so much as wake up 30minutes earlier than I need to,
it's all over, it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I saw this meme the other day.
It's like the things you hatedas a kid are now what you want
the most, like sleep, healthyfood.
Like you know, naps right.
It's so funny.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I saw that meme that said like when I was younger I
said I'm going to go to bedanytime I want, I'm going to
keep my own bedtime and now thatI'm older my bedtime is eight
o'clock.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Me too, and that's one of my, you know.
Um, I can't remember if we didit on the on the podcast podcast
, if it was first this thrivelist, which is what I pull out
when I feel myself getting alittle edgy or starting to feel
overwhelmed, and I'm I'mactually going to print it out.
It's bed by nine, like notsleeping, but in the bedroom by
(15:09):
nine o'clock Eight o'clock is abonus, but by nine o'clock
upstairs my phone goes in thekitchen.
I do not bring my phone intothe bedroom with me and it's bed
, but it just even just in theroom.
It could be like I'm reading abook, or I don't have a TV in my
room either or chatting, youknow, on the, not the phone,
chatting with my husband orwhatever, but that's one of the
(15:31):
big ones.
It's one of the big ones.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Can I ask you about this, cause I actually I you
brought it.
You did bring it up earlierwhen we were talking before the
podcast and I I think it's it'ssuch a great idea.
I'm glad that you brought it upagain.
Can you tell me a little bit ofwhat is this thrive list and
how do you use it?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I actually but shocking I have a tool for it,
that that I'm happy to give you,that you can get to the two
doors.
So, okay, Many years ago, forfor the new year, my word was
thrive and I made a vision boardand it was awesome and thrive.
The word thrive was in themiddle of it.
And then it all, all thesepictures about what that meant
(16:09):
to me.
And it was in my office andevery day I would walk by it and
I loved it.
Later that year coincidencemaybe I was interviewed by
thrive global magazine.
Right, Like I mean that, likethat's, I mean that's, like
that's amazing, so it's, it's.
What do I need to do?
Thrive is I don't want to live,I want to thrive.
(16:30):
I want to thrive on the road.
I want to thrive at home, Iwant to thrive.
So, and every year, the reasonI'm telling you this is because
every year I go to pick a newword and I never like my new
word.
I always go back to thrive, soI'm done.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Is that why you didn't?
Speaker 2 (16:42):
pick a word this year .
I couldn't, I couldn't buy.
I'm like nothing is better thanthrive.
So then that is, I might evenget a little necklace made or
something like that, cause Ilove it.
I just think it's such a greatword.
I just think it's such a greatword Like you're not just,
you're not just here, you'rethriving.
So when I, when I'm notthriving, when I'm feeling
overwhelmed or stressed out, orI'm or I'm like snappy turtle or
(17:04):
whatever I'm like, okay, I needto go back to what I know, that
I do, my habits, my behaviors.
That will get me back to who Iam when I'm thriving.
So it could be journaling.
Every day I make my own journal, I make my own journal and I
print it out at FedEx and I, youknow, I I make it and I might
(17:26):
change it based on what's goingon in my life for that month,
but I do it every month.
It could be, you know,something as simple as a cup of
turmeric tea, right Like that.
That brings me down.
There's something very soothingabout the not chamomile, not
one of the other ones.
It's always this one turmerictea.
It's, it's the golden turmerictea.
I don't know if you've ever hadit.
It's good, I have not, but Ilove turmeric, so that's great.
(17:48):
It could be, you know, and it'snothing big, it could be.
Watch a sunrise, watch a sunset.
I'm trying to think of whatelse.
Is it early to bed, drinkingwater, you know?
So I'll be like okay, and Iit's literally a list and it's
typed up.
I mean I could pull it up rightnow.
I'll try to find it, but and Ipull it out and I'm like, okay,
(18:12):
pick, pick three things fromthis list today, or pick one
thing from this list today, or,you know, put it.
You know, maybe whoops, sorry,just dropped my mic.
Maybe it's something that's notvery thrive-ish, maybe it's
something as simple as okay.
If you can't do any of thesethings today, at least have it
on your desk, at least have iton your desk, so there's an
(18:34):
awareness around it.
I can't find it.
I'm not going to keep trying todo it so.
So what I did was I don't knowif you can, there's this big
thing up on my screen right now.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I can't see the big thing, but I'm assuming it means
you can't see me anymore and soit's like weird, because you're
talking to a you know we'reback and we're back.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So what I did was I put together a.
It's just a.
It's a sheet of paper and atthe top it says thrive list and
then there's number one, two,three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10.
So if somebody wants it, I giveit.
You know, I give it out.
It's free, obviously.
I'm like just download it,create your own.
I do a, I do a workshop calledthriving in a hybrid environment
(19:14):
, and that's what we do.
Is I say what are the thingsthat like?
I'll ask you what, what do youdo that brings you back to your
best self.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You know, while you were talking, I was thinking
about it because this list is sogood.
I was already thinking about,like what are the things I put
on this list for myself?
And one of them is and is goingoutside and taking like a
really because I live right bythe water taking like a really
deep inhale and like doing likea bunch of breaths where I'm
really breathing, because I findthat when I'm not thriving, I'm
in my body a lot and I can feeleverything just feels
(19:48):
unpleasant.
So that's my.
That's the first one.
I think the other one wouldprobably be snuggling with my
dog Like that's a really goodone doing a snuggling with my
dog or with my wife, like eitherthey both smell really good and
then like and I'm verypheromone driven, so like having
those pheromones like reallycalms me down.
It's the smell Like, and thenthe reason I brought that up is
because it's not just cuddling.
I have to like inhale you know,there, there and it's like,
(20:09):
okay, there's safety there.
So a lot of smelling.
I guess there's a lot ofsmelling involved in my life,
yeah, so I'm very sensitivewe're learning about me.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Today it feels like you're my therapist Happy to
help, happy to help, but youknow, you know, breathing is, I
don't.
I don't even think it's on, Idon't think breathing is, but
meditation is yeah.
So, you know, during COVID,during the quarantine, I was the
(20:39):
most peaceful, calm andcentered that I have ever been
in my entire life, and some ofthat, of course, was that there
was literally no demands on me,none Like I couldn't leave the
house, but some of it was everymorning and every night I did a
meditation.
You know it was a guidedmeditation.
I did yoga every day.
You know it was.
(21:00):
You know I was walking aroundin nature.
It was all the stuff that youknow you should do, but you
don't make the time to do.
I had all the time to do it.
So you know, I want to get backto that.
I want to get back to.
I was so thriving in the middleof this pandemic that you know
(21:22):
I want to get back to it.
I want to get back to some ofthose things.
Obviously, I have a life and Ihave to.
I have commitments, but that'sthe other thing I do.
By the way, one of the thingson my thrive list is cancel some
appointments because I overschedule, that is so good, that
is a really good one.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Oh, my God, I that one's going on my list, because
that's something that people.
So actually I'm curious, right?
Because, Nancy, you alsoprobably have the same problem
at a certain level, or or notlike level, but like at a
certain stage of your career.
Everybody wants to talk to youall the time and you always have
appointments, you always have.
There's just always stuffhappening and and like and
(22:02):
there's a desire to do that, butit but there's a but.
There's a difficulty, I think,in terms of like we can give all
of ourselves away until there'slike nothing left.
Now I'm going to the doctor andI've got to meet with this
person, I've got a podcast andI've got this right and like now
it's just nonstop.
So I'm curious to know, like,how does one balance?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
How do you balance that.
So I don't take any meetings onFridays or Mondays.
Okay, I just don't.
That's a good one, that's ahard boundary that I will not
break.
Okay, so Mondays I call itmindset.
Monday I won't.
I don't.
I didn't leave my corporate job.
Now I have the luxury of doingthat because I work for myself.
I didn't leave my corporate jobto get up Monday morning and
(22:41):
start grinding.
Like I want to ease into myweek and the best way I can do
that is to have a free day whereI can say okay, what are my
priorities for the week?
You know, blah, blah, blah.
What you know blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
Fridays every now, and then I'llhave a meeting on a Friday.
But again, I didn't, I didn'tbuild my business to be grinding
Friday so that then I likeleave my desk in a huff because
(23:03):
it's the weekend and I come backand it's a shit show, or I, or
I'm thinking about it allweekend.
So that's one thing I do.
You know, frankly, tuesdays,wednesdays, thursdays, I'm over.
I'm right now, I'm overscheduled.
But I have an awareness, likeand we were talking about this
earlier I know I'm overscheduled now, so I'll probably
block some pockets of time nextweek so people can't book
(23:24):
appointments with me.
I'll get back to blocking sometime out.
I canceled an appointment fortomorrow.
I canceled.
I asked for a little bit of alag.
Today I was late for a call.
I said can we start this call10 minutes later because I
needed those 10 minutes.
You know it's it's it's it'stough, it's it's self inflicted.
(23:46):
I'm in charge of my own time.
So what's my problem?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Do you feel bad when you so like?
You know, if you're like cause,like I, really one of the
things again that this is, andevery time you sometimes words
will come out of your mouth andI'm like this is why I love her
so much Right, it's like it'sbecause you have very good
boundary language.
You have really good boundarylanguage and like in, in not
just boundary language, in likelike scripts, but in ways that
help me to like reframe it, theway that I think about something
(24:17):
.
Right?
So for me, when you're like I'mgoing to be 10 minutes late, or
like um, you know, I have tocancel appointments.
If I was to do that, I wouldfeel, oh, I'm letting that
person down and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like there's a story in my head.
Can I ask you what story thatyou tell?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yes, so the story that I tell is they're not going
to care and in fact they mightwant the time back too.
Yeah, usually, usually if I'mlike hey, I know we had a call
set, like, let's say today hey,I know we had a call set up.
I'm not at my best and I thinkit'd be a lot better if we moved
it to next week.
Wouldn't you be psyched to havean hour back in your day?
(24:57):
Oh, yeah, totally.
And you know what?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
That's so true.
I've never once said to anyone,or no one has ever said to me,
I need to cancel, and maybe,like God, you're such an asshole
.
It's always like, thank God, Ihave an hour back.
Oh shit, I would have enjoyedtalking to you, but you know
what?
I'll talk to you next week.
Then, right Like it's, it's nota thing for me, but when I do
it, I talk to you.
When I do it, I turn it into athing for me.
So I think the key is to tolike flip that script and
(25:18):
recognize that just because I'mdoing it doesn't change the
nature of it.
It's still the same, nobodycares, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Well, nobody cares, and you're doing them a
disservice if you show uphalf-assed.
So that's good.
And I have said things like youknow what?
I have a lot going on and myhead's not in the game.
You know, I think it would bebetter if we postponed it.
This is on me.
I want to show up the best thatI can for you, and that's just
(25:45):
not going to happen this week.
And they're like great, thankyou.
They respect it, they'regrateful, like well, thank you.
Like have you ever been in acall with someone and you're
like why do they have a bug uptheir ass?
Like great.
Or why are they even here,right?
Like, and it wasn't.
I'm sure it had nothing to dowith you.
I'm sure that they had a morething's going on, maybe you know
.
So it's.
It's more about again thrivingand being at your best.
(26:09):
Yeah, and that means that Ithat I ask if we can move it.
I mean, if I called you, wouldyou have been mad?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
No, no, if I'm like yeah, no, we deal, it's fine.
In fact, I usually check 10 to15 minutes beforehand to make
sure, like yesterday somebodyhad a.
I had a scheduled in.
Some one of my podcast guestsunfortunately had a tragedy in
their family and I was like, andthey felt so bad and I was like
what is wrong?
Don't feel bad, like this istotally fine, you know it's
actually.
I want to actually throwsomething else out there because
as you were talking, I waslistening and what I heard was
(26:36):
is in my mind was trust, thepeople that you work with, right
, and it made me think to myselfthat I have worked hard, as you
have, I would imagine, tosurround yourself with the kind
of people who will help youthrive, and so chances are that
any of the people that you reachout to to say this will all be
in that same mindset.
So it'll be like no big deal.
Let's say you had messaged meand I'm like Nancy, you are so
(26:59):
unreliable.
You would be like I amliterally never talking to
Vanessa again, like this is notsomeone I've wanted my life.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, and that's a good point, because I'm trying
to think it is possible thatlet's say, today you could have
been like, oh, you know what,nancy, I really wanted this to
go out next week.
This is the only time I have.
And then I would probably say,okay, get your game face on Like
you tried.
It's not always gonna work.
You tried and yes, because Itrust you and I trust that if it
(27:29):
was okay, you would have saidno, let's do it next week.
The only exception to that isusually if it's a client.
I probably, you know, ninetimes out of 10, I wouldn't do
that to a client.
They're paying me and I need torespect that.
And also, at the same time, Iset really clear boundaries with
my clients.
So when I do a speaking gigthis is interesting, so this is
(27:53):
for consultants, coaches,speakers I will put in my
contracts.
You know, here's the speakingengagement.
You know 90 minutes, you know60 minutes.
Whatever Included is one onehour session to happen at least
two weeks prior to the event.
One one hour planning sessionor 30 minute planning session.
And then when they say, hey,can we talk to you again and
(28:13):
again, and again, and again andagain, I'm like okay, guys, so
we have one session, so let'sfocus on that and that's all I
can commit to at this time, likeas a coach, consultant or
speaker, all you have is yourtime.
So if you have somebody thatisn't used to the process or
(28:35):
doesn't really know how to do it, or isn't really organized or
whatever might be going on attheir company, you know that's
unfortunate.
I can't spend six hourspre-planning with you because
that's money out of my pocket,right, and that's not what we
agreed to.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And I think that you know and that makes a lot of
sense.
You're not, I've spoken with it.
I, you know, in interviewing abunch of speakers, you know you
can.
I think that one of the thingsthat sort of sets season
speakers apart is the ones whowill put the boundaries around
it.
Because, like, I think that oneof the things that can happen
as a speaker is that, like,you're the expert, right, and
I've hired you now to speak atmy event, but wait, I have all
(29:12):
these other things that I reallyneed to know and as long as
we're having this conversation,I may as well just throw these
in there, right?
So a conversation that'ssupposed to take an hour can
take longer because we keepgetting derailed because they're
not sure how to do the thing.
So I think part of that has tobe, like you're saying,
recognizing when you're theexpert and you have to be the
one to set the boundaries.
You know, I think here's what'sinteresting about that right,
(29:35):
cause, like, we even raise in aculture that says the customer
is always right.
So what you just said actuallyI love more than anything in the
world, because I don't believethe customer is always right and
I believe that we are, that inmany cases we're partnerships
and we're working in apartnership and like, and so
it's about mutual respect, notabout me bending over for you,
right.
And so I think that how did you?
(29:58):
Because?
Were there times as part ofyour career, has this been a
conversation that you've hadwith people about the boundary
being like a I'm drawing aboundary, it's totally fine, but
the mistaken belief that existsin many people's minds that
because we're paying you money,you should really just say yes
to everything we ask you to dohave you ever had that
circumstance, or have you everhad to coach somebody out of
that circumstance?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I've had clients who speaking clients and coaching
clients, who don't really honorthat, and it's okay, because I'm
not like I don't.
I'm trying to think of how tosay this.
So if they send me 75 emails,I'll say I'll respond.
(30:44):
I'll respond, or I'll say thisis part of your planning process
, Let me know who's gonna berunning point, or something like
that.
Or I have a checklist that Isend out ahead of time.
So I've done it enough that,like, let's say, I'm hired for a
gig and as part of the contract, I say part of this is a 30
(31:09):
minute pre-planning call, tohappen at least two weeks prior
to the event.
Oh, you know what, I'll giveyou a better one.
If they wanna look at my deckand change it, Okay, because
that used to happen and I will.
I mean, I'm happy to go throughkind of a general flow, but
this is not your presentation,it's mine and you're hiring me
for a reason.
(31:29):
I wanna understand what'simportant to your company.
I wanna know what you don'twant me to say, because I won't,
you know, obviously, and myenergy and my experience and the
essence of this program is whatI'm going to do.
So I have the creative rights,if you will to that.
So I won't send it to themahead of time.
(31:50):
I won't.
I'll review it with them.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I mean I'll send them ahead of time so that they can
load it onto the onto the rightright, but it's not like you're
sending it to them to be like,hey, go through it and tell me
all the things that you want meto do.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
No, because that has happened to me and it happened
when I was younger, in myspeaking career, and they would
send it back and say, can youchange this?
And I would change it then tobe like, if you can change this,
and I would be reallyfrustrated.
And I remember I was actuallytalking to my husband and he's
like, well, who's speech is it?
I'm like, yeah, it's fine.
So you know, it's just.
It's just.
You know again, it's clear andkind right, like it's just
(32:23):
setting the parameter, like yes,I will go through it with you,
we'll go through it, you know,at least two weeks prior, so I
can make all the changes.
You'll get it.
You know a few days ahead oftime.
I ask that you don't distributeit.
You know, whatever the case is,you learn and then you build it
into your agreement and youknow that's, that's just what I
do.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I love this.
So I gotta tell you, like Ididn't know where this you know
cause.
So, just so that everyone knows, nancy and I decided we wanted
to do a podcast together.
So she got on it and we justjumped on it and said, okay,
let's record.
And I did not expect, causethis is gonna be a goldmine for
two things.
One, the resilient conversationwas awesome in general.
But you know I get a lot ofquestions, you know, from
speakers and I'm sure you do aswell, wanting to know stuff
(33:04):
about logistics, and often youknow, even when I've asked the
questions I haven't necessarilyknown what the questions were
that I needed to ask.
But through this conversationyou gave such a great sort of
like if somebody is an up andcoming speaker and trying to
figure out how to figure outtheir process and that kind of
thing, your blueprint for thisarea of it today was really,
really helpful.
Nancy, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
(33:26):
Okay, so as we start to wrap uptoday, I wanted to make sure
that I gave you the opportunity,just cause you have so much
stuff going on you have.
Let's remind everyone guys, ifyou have not bought this book,
buy it.
I have so many copies at myhouse that I just keep giving
away to people, so I just keepbuying them.
So literally I put a lot ofyour books, nancy, so get the
book so I don't have to give youa copy.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Can you tell them about how we met, about no,
about when you went live, aboutmy book?
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh my gosh, that was so funny.
So I okay.
So I read the book and I fellin love with it and I think I
became like really weird fangirl.
Just gonna say I totally did,I'm a fan person and then I
decided that this was importantenough.
So this is actually the firstlive I did about books and now I
do lives about the books that Ihaven't impacted on my life
because of this one.
So I did a live and I'm not alot talking about it and just
(34:15):
out of nowhere, Nancy was on aplane.
I mean, I didn't know she wason a plane, I didn't even know
she was there and I'm talkingabout her and suddenly she
fucking shows up in the commentsand says, oh my God, and I'm
like, oh my God, and I'm like Idon't know that I can keep
talking now, Like this is.
I was like I'm such a fan.
I'm such a fan, this is soexciting, and I'm like, oh my
God, she's gonna join in.
This is great, it was soawesome.
(34:36):
And then, but that gave me theopportunity to invite you to
like, it gave me the boldness tobe like dude, let's do a
podcast, we're just all of it, Iknow right.
So, guys, seriously, I have tosay you really just have to
seize the day, like when thereis some.
If there's something you love,share that.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
You love it, because that's how we met Definitely and
that's happened so many timesin my life my business coach.
Now I have a business coach whois amazing.
I heard her on a podcast twoyears ago.
She's a top 1% podcaster likein the world, like legit this is
not like a bullshit metric,like she really is.
She I heard her on a podcast, Ireached out to her she answers
(35:14):
all her own DMs and we ended upworking together and we're still
a year later.
We're still working together.
Like you gotta do it.
You have to take the chanceBecause, like I answer all my
own DMs, of course, I lovehearing from people.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
So I love that.
I love that you answered me.
Do you have anything right nowthat is upcoming, that we want
to share with the listeners,because I know everybody's
fallen in love with you?
And, by the way, don't forget,guys, to go listen to the other
podcasts that we did with Nancy.
I'll put it in the show notes,oh yeah, that was a good one.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
What you got for us, nancy, that was a good one.
So I have a retreat coming upAbout when will this air?
Do you know, like you know what?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
This will air probably in oh you know what,
let's say early December.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh, okay, so I will have already done my retreat.
I have a retreat that I did onCape Cod in the fall.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
How did it go, Nancy?
How was it?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Fantastic, it was sold out.
It was like amazing, awesome.
So yeah, I mean I always have Ido some private one-on-one
coaching.
It's an eight-week program andit's there's an application and
the application really isbecause I want to make sure that
whoever is investing in me andmy expertise and in themselves
(36:27):
that it's a good fit.
So that I mean that's probablyit right now.
I, you know, in December, whoknows, I'm gonna be who knows?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's so true, I'm gonna be honest, it's so true I
barely know what I'm doing nextweek.
I'm still figuring out the restof my life, but you know what I
think?
Actually the key here is toactually follow Nancy.
Like, really, that's the key,because you'll probably be on
again, but you want to followNancy and you want to keep an
eye out for all the things thatshe's doing, because I'll tell
you, this year my word of theyear was supernova and I and I
sign her right.
(36:54):
It's just, it's been a goodword and I wouldn't have had.
Like, the key to being asupernova or doing something big
is you have to be able to speakup.
You have to be able to say thewords.
You can't make an impact orhave a different or do anything
if you don't use your voice, andone of the things that I have
always struggled with is usingmy voice and having the words.
(37:16):
And this book changed my lifehere and you speak changed my
life.
So follow her at nancymedoffcom, right?
Is that your URL, yup,nancymedoffcom?
All of the links will be in theshow notes.
Thank you so much, nancy.
You were amazing.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Thank you.
You're amazing, you are apsychologist.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I tell you things.
You make a list.
Hello there, I'm Vanessa Konnicki, and this is
Stop Shitting All Over Yourselfa show to remind you that you do
know what you're doing and youare enough just as you are.
Each episode, I connect with anincredible human being who has
walked the path that you're on,the path that leaves other
people's expectations for whoyou're supposed to be and the
decisions that you're supposedto make by the wayside, To
(00:26):
replace those ideas with ablueprint for your life that you
design.
These stories will inspire youand their tactics will help you
to lay the bricks on the road toa happier and more joyful you,
as always.
Thank you so much for listeningand, if you're on YouTube, drop
a like or subscribe to get allthe feel good content from
Vanessa TV.
(00:47):
And now let's listen in as Ihave a conversation with Nancy
Medoff, bestselling author ofthe book Unmute Yourself Speak
Up to Stand Out, Keynote Speaker, podcast host and a world model
for anyone who's trying to findtheir voice and stand up for
themselves in corporate America.
She has had such a busy 2023, Iam so thrilled she was able to
join us to talk about herphilosophies on using rest and
(01:09):
recovery to build resilience,which is in sharp contrast to
our hustle culture.
Today, In this conversation, wedove into some serious shit,
not the least of which isrevisiting work's dominance in
our culture and in our worth.
Let's listen in and see whatshe said.
It's so good and it's all aboutunderstanding how important
(01:32):
rest is in our lives.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So this is a great segue.
So I'm getting ready for akeynote and it's a newer topic
for me.
It's authentic leadership,which I can speak on that.
But, and resilience, and when Ido a keynote, like I'm not
going to get up there and makeshit up, Like I need to do the
research.
So I'm doing the research andI'm like, okay, resilience, blah
(01:57):
, blah, blah.
And what I found recently nowthis is not, you know, I just
found this like this week isthat and this is a Harvard
business review study thatpeople think about resilience
and they think about grit, likein the Marine Corps, and the
grit and the grind and it'sactually not Truly resilient
(02:17):
people.
They recover.
I was going to say rest, theyrecover.
So if you're in the performancezone, you need to give as much
time in the recovery zone.
And this article talks aboutfacts and data that supports
that.
And I think about that and I'mlike, I think about, I thought
about this story because I usedto travel a lot more than I do
(02:38):
now I still travel a lot and Iremember I would be on the plane
, right, Vanessa, and I wouldget on a Wi-Fi and I would be
like, okay, just one more secondblah, blah, blah, blah, right,
and then I would close my laptop, I would get in the cab and I
(02:59):
would boot up my laptop againand I would use my phone.
I'd use the Wi-Fi from my phoneto send out all the emails and
I'm like what are you doing?
And I remember I was talking toa friend and she said I don't
remember what the context was,but what I heard was she reads
on the plane, like casualreading, Like nonfiction, like
(03:22):
fiction, Fiction.
She checks her bag, which Ithought was interesting, and
I'll get to that in a second.
And she did one more thing.
So I remember I was like, wow,so I took a flight and I'm like
I'm not going to do any work.
And it was awesome.
It was like, imagine the liketwo and a half hours you can't
(03:46):
be reached, You're not working,or three hours, whatever.
And I read, you know, I caughtup on magazines, whatever.
And I started thinking abouthow am I going to thrive on the
road?
I want to thrive on the road,thrive on the road, thrive on
the road, because I was on theroad all the time.
So that's, I started doing thatand that, in essence, is the
recovery piece.
I mean it was interesting.
It was.
It was interesting Like I usedto go to Vegas.
(04:09):
I used to go to Vegas and Iwould take the most possible
quickest flight out of therethat I could.
So if the trade show, I did itlike three, I'd be on a five pm
flight out and I fine, just getme home.
And then I'm like why am Idoing this?
So I started staying and Iwould book a spa appointment.
You know, four days on on myfeet in a row at a trade show,
(04:30):
and then I'm getting on theplane, I'm sleeping on the plane
, it might be delayed.
I get back home.
You know, I'm not like restingwhen I get home, dealing with
everything at home.
I'm like noob.
So I invited some friends whowere there at the conference
with me and I'm like, let's stayan extra day, let's go, let's
have a nice dinner and go to thespa.
So we did.
And then the next morning Iwould get on a plane and I would
(04:52):
use my company's time to flyhome, Like why am I sacrificing
my sleep to get home?
You know, it's, it's um, it'sinteresting.
So then this, this many yearslater, for me to read and
realize, as I'm doing thisresearch that resilience is tied
to recovery.
Yeah, I'm like that.
(05:12):
That makes a.
That makes a shit ton of sense.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You know what else makes a lot of sense.
Actually, you said.
You said that as like I hadthis moment right.
Okay, so think about this humanbody.
If you're going to go and workout, you're never going to work
out five days in a row.
The same muscle, constantlydoing higher and heavier weights
, because any trainer, we allknow that that's a surefire way
to injure yourself physicallyand get you to a point where you
(05:38):
can't work out for months,where you need surgery, right.
And what's interesting is, Ithink that for the last several
decades, I would say I would saythat, like several decades ago,
the conversation about workstarted, where we're all like
working, working, working and soon, but at the time there was
no internet, so we were able toclock out and leave and go, but
work was still very important inParamount.
(06:00):
Now, with the internet comingright and with us being able to
work from home and, like yousaid, get in the car, tether to
your hotspot, get on the plane,you can actually have a
completely uninterrupted time ofworking.
Right, and when you think aboutyour brain as also a muscle,
what you're essentially doing isjust constantly working your
brain, and when I talk to mysister, I call it like my brain
(06:23):
being parched, because, like,eventually, what happens is my
brain starts to feel almost likeI've dried it out and it's like
desiccated.
But I'll keep going because Idon't do this anymore.
But for years I would just keepgoing, keep working, and it's
for some reason I thought that,well, the brain was an exempt
muscle, right, or that's not,and I don't know what I was
(06:43):
actually thinking, but whateverit was that was happening, the
actions that I was taking weresaying my mental health, my
physical health, nothing is asimportant as getting this email
out to someone.
So I feel like that's alsosomething like to question when
you say, like, why do we do that?
It is.
I asked them the other day.
I said why are you on thisearth?
Are you on this earth to sendthat email?
(07:03):
And they're like actually I'mnot, but my kid needs me right
now.
I'm like, then, fucking, don'tsend the email and go talk to
your kid.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
And think about what you missed.
That's your point, like that'swhat you're saying, so you're
gonna miss a moment with yourchild to get the work done, or
whatever the case may be.
This was not that profound.
I was in the taxi in Chicagowhen I was there a couple of
weeks ago and I wasn't on myphone because I hadn't been back
in a while.
So you know and I love it theLakeshore Drive, driving by Lake
(07:35):
Michigan, all these memories.
It was just a remarkableexperience because I love the
time that I lived there and Ipurposely didn't look at my
phone and I took it all in andI'm like, okay, I remember this
and I remember walking over hereand I remember hanging out with
my friends over here and when Itrained for the marathon.
I remember this spot and allthis stuff and I would have
missed all that.
Think about what you're missing.
(07:56):
Think about what you're missing.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
And those feelings are so great.
Right, because, like, when youlook at your you know, because
every time you saw it, you getyour serotonin and your
endorphins.
You're like, oh yeah, right.
But like, and on our phoneswhich I don't have with me, just
pretend this is my phone it'sthe dopamine hit.
You know that I'm looking forthere's oh look, I did the work,
I did the work.
There's also, I think, anotherelement of it for many people
which I think that at some pointwe've all, we've done enough
(08:23):
emotional, mental work withtherapists and coaches and so on
, to be able to like divorceourselves from this, but it does
take a lot of work.
Is this idea that you know we,the purpose of being resilient
is so you can work more, right?
Ultimately, all the things thatwe're doing is so that we can
work more, and so I feel likethat's.
The other question is what areyou being resilient for exactly?
So actually, I'm curious aboutthat as you were doing your
(08:44):
research.
Is there any question thatyou're asking is like what are
we being resilient for?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
You know it's interesting In this particular
case.
You know this company wants totrain their employees how to be
more resilient.
So the question is well, do youwant them to be resilient so
they can thrive or do you wantthem to be resilient so they can
work more?
That's one question.
Oh, I just had it.
(09:09):
It was on the tip of my I justI just had it.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I hate it when that happens when you're like
literally, the words are there.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
That's what I'm like there's so much in my brain.
Oh, so there's this book that Ijust bought.
Of course, I forget the name ofit and it's about.
It's about aging.
It's an Oprah book.
I'll find it while we'retalking.
But so what are you beingresilient for, was your question
.
For me, it's so I can livelonger, like at this point, I
(09:39):
don't, I don't, I don't want torecover.
I'm not trying, I'm not, I'mnot focusing on on recovering so
that I can work more, or sothat, so that I can, you know,
be there for my kids.
I'm working on recovery becauseI want to take care of my body
and my mind, because the olderyou get, the more you realize
you don't, you can't make you.
(10:00):
First of all, you don't have asmuch time to make it up.
Second of all, your body startsbehaving.
Your body starts behaving theway it should, based on how
you're treating it.
So like when I was in mytwenties, if I, if I, like you
know, had a week you knowwhatever a week where I ate like
I was on death row, I'd be like, okay, I'll have some tabcola
and salad for three days andI'll lose 10 pounds and
(10:21):
everything will be fine, I'll beback to normal.
I can't do that anymore and themore crap I put in my body or
the more sleep that I losebecause I was binging on Netflix
, that I'm never going to getthat sleep back.
And it affects me even more theolder I get.
So the recovery for me is aboutabout being my best self,
(10:44):
physically and mentally.
I have to recover.
I mean, you know, I had afriend that came to visit a
couple of days ago and, forwhatever reason, you know I go
for a walk every morning and Ididn't get my walk in and he
showed up at noon and he said Iwant to go into town and I said
so, I need to take my walk.
You can have, if you want fun.
(11:04):
You know, if you want fun,energetic, engaging Nancy,
you'll go for this walk with meor you'll give me this time to
go for the walk.
If you want, nancy, that'sgoing to be irritable, sluggish
and and, like you know, caddydemand that I go into town with
you, because I'm telling youright now, if I don't go for my
walk it's going to affect mementally and physically.
So I kind of went down a rabbithole there.
(11:25):
But I think that to me that'sthe importance.
How am I going to thrive?
And I know that I need to walk,or I know that I need to get
sleep, or I know that I need to.
You know, watch the junk food.
If I've, if I've been havingthree or four days in a row of
junk food, it's, it's theboundaries that you create with
yourself that you don't keep,that you know you don't have the
same, you don't have the sameforgiveness that you had when
(11:48):
you were in your twenties.
You don't.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
You, you know, I want to first say you said you went
down a rabbit hole, but you kindof actually needed to go down
that rabbit hole for me.
That's why I needed to hearwhat you said.
You had a script that you usedwhere you were talking about
your friend and you're sayingokay, if you want to get this,
Nancy, come on the walk with me.
If you want to get this, Nancyand I actually have all I've
struggled with it You're so goodwith scripts, Guys I should
actually hold on.
(12:11):
We got to just pull this outjust to be on the safe side,
because we're promoting it.
Yeah, okay, so good with scripts.
This has got a lot of scriptsin it.
Guys, make sure you get Nancy'sbook.
That's how I found her.
But you know, because I haveboundaries and then I'm bad
about keeping them with myselffor sure sometimes.
But then other times I'm alsobad.
I'm worse with it when there'ssomeone else involved, because
(12:33):
then I'll be like, well, I don'twant to make them feel bad, I
don't know how to say the thing,but like having that language
that you just said, it's suchgreat and it's so simple.
When you said it I was like Iwas actually thinking to myself.
I was like God, that's sosimple.
Why didn't I think of that?
But you said it and I was likeI'm so glad you said it, because
now I have those words.
I never would have thought ofit, because I'm not very good at
coming up with scripts, but I'mreally good at using them when
(12:53):
I have them.
So thank you for going downthat rabbit hole.
But to your point about youknow, being your body, not
treating you the same way.
It's so funny because when Iwas in you know, I was a bouncer
at the Paradise for a couple ofyears.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Oh, my God, the Paradise.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Rock Club.
Yes, I worked there for acouple of years.
In fact, one of my dear friends, bill, is the manager there.
It's fabulous.
No-transcript.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Is it?
This isn't Billy Bud, is it?
Did you know, billy?
Oh my god, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Billy Bud too.
Oh my god, I know it's notBilly Bud, but I freaking love
Billy Bud.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Billy Bud has the seats next to me.
I used to be his Patriot seasonticket holder and he has the
seats next to me.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
You are kidding, that is so amazing, the Wildman.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I love him, that is what a small world.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I know right, he's great.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
So, uh, this is you know what's small.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
This is really I.
Actually, this is one of thereasons why I love like I love
having been in Boston for solong is that now we get to this
space, this space where, likeyou can bring up somebody and
someone else knows it, and I'mlike damn, I really do, I do
live here.
Yeah, um, but when I did work atthe Paradise, uh, I mean I was
a drunk, you know I drank allthe time, partied all the time
Like I mean I was.
You know, you're in a rock cluband I could easily dude.
(14:08):
I would drink till God knowswhat time in the middle of the
night and then drive home, wakeup at five, go to work, and I
could do this for four or fivedays in a row and, just you know
, eat the McDonald's and recoverand it's fine.
Now, if I so much as wake up 30minutes earlier than I need to,
it's all over, it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I saw this meme the other day.
It's like the things you hatedas a kid are now what you want
the most, like sleep, healthyfood.
Like you know, naps right.
It's so funny.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I saw that meme that said like when I was younger I
said I'm going to go to bedanytime I want, I'm going to
keep my own bedtime and now thatI'm older my bedtime is eight
o'clock.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Me too, and that's one of my, you know.
Um, I can't remember if we didit on the on the podcast podcast
, if it was first this thrivelist, which is what I pull out
when I feel myself getting alittle edgy or starting to feel
overwhelmed, and I'm I'mactually going to print it out.
It's bed by nine, like notsleeping, but in the bedroom by
(15:09):
nine o'clock Eight o'clock is abonus, but by nine o'clock
upstairs my phone goes in thekitchen.
I do not bring my phone intothe bedroom with me and it's bed
, but it just even just in theroom.
It could be like I'm reading abook, or I don't have a TV in my
room either or chatting, youknow, on the, not the phone,
chatting with my husband orwhatever, but that's one of the
(15:31):
big ones.
It's one of the big ones.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Can I ask you about this, cause I actually I you
brought it.
You did bring it up earlierwhen we were talking before the
podcast and I I think it's it'ssuch a great idea.
I'm glad that you brought it upagain.
Can you tell me a little bit ofwhat is this thrive list and
how do you use it?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I actually but shocking I have a tool for it,
that that I'm happy to give you,that you can get to the two
doors.
So, okay, Many years ago, forfor the new year, my word was
thrive and I made a vision boardand it was awesome and thrive.
The word thrive was in themiddle of it.
And then it all, all thesepictures about what that meant
(16:09):
to me.
And it was in my office andevery day I would walk by it and
I loved it.
Later that year coincidencemaybe I was interviewed by
thrive global magazine.
Right, Like I mean that, likethat's, I mean that's, like
that's amazing, so it's, it's.
What do I need to do?
Thrive is I don't want to live,I want to thrive.
(16:30):
I want to thrive on the road.
I want to thrive at home, Iwant to thrive.
So, and every year, the reasonI'm telling you this is because
every year I go to pick a newword and I never like my new
word.
I always go back to thrive, soI'm done.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Is that why you didn't?
Speaker 2 (16:42):
pick a word this year .
I couldn't, I couldn't buy.
I'm like nothing is better thanthrive.
So then that is, I might evenget a little necklace made or
something like that, cause Ilove it.
I just think it's such a greatword.
I just think it's such a greatword Like you're not just,
you're not just here, you'rethriving.
So when I, when I'm notthriving, when I'm feeling
overwhelmed or stressed out, orI'm or I'm like snappy turtle or
(17:04):
whatever I'm like, okay, I needto go back to what I know, that
I do, my habits, my behaviors.
That will get me back to who Iam when I'm thriving.
So it could be journaling.
Every day I make my own journal, I make my own journal and I
print it out at FedEx and I, youknow, I I make it and I might
(17:26):
change it based on what's goingon in my life for that month,
but I do it every month.
It could be, you know,something as simple as a cup of
turmeric tea, right Like that.
That brings me down.
There's something very soothingabout the not chamomile, not
one of the other ones.
It's always this one turmerictea.
It's, it's the golden turmerictea.
I don't know if you've ever hadit.
It's good, I have not, but Ilove turmeric, so that's great.
(17:48):
It could be, you know, and it'snothing big, it could be.
Watch a sunrise, watch a sunset.
I'm trying to think of whatelse.
Is it early to bed, drinkingwater, you know?
So I'll be like okay, and Iit's literally a list and it's
typed up.
I mean I could pull it up rightnow.
I'll try to find it, but and Ipull it out and I'm like, okay,
(18:12):
pick, pick three things fromthis list today, or pick one
thing from this list today, or,you know, put it.
You know, maybe whoops, sorry,just dropped my mic.
Maybe it's something that's notvery thrive-ish, maybe it's
something as simple as okay.
If you can't do any of thesethings today, at least have it
on your desk, at least have iton your desk, so there's an
(18:34):
awareness around it.
I can't find it.
I'm not going to keep trying todo it so.
So what I did was I don't knowif you can, there's this big
thing up on my screen right now.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I can't see the big thing, but I'm assuming it means
you can't see me anymore and soit's like weird, because you're
talking to a you know we'reback and we're back.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So what I did was I put together a.
It's just a.
It's a sheet of paper and atthe top it says thrive list and
then there's number one, two,three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10.
So if somebody wants it, I giveit.
You know, I give it out.
It's free, obviously.
I'm like just download it,create your own.
I do a, I do a workshop calledthriving in a hybrid environment
(19:14):
, and that's what we do.
Is I say what are the thingsthat like?
I'll ask you what, what do youdo that brings you back to your
best self.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You know, while you were talking, I was thinking
about it because this list is sogood.
I was already thinking about,like what are the things I put
on this list for myself?
And one of them is and is goingoutside and taking like a
really because I live right bythe water taking like a really
deep inhale and like doing likea bunch of breaths where I'm
really breathing, because I findthat when I'm not thriving, I'm
in my body a lot and I can feeleverything just feels
(19:48):
unpleasant.
So that's my.
That's the first one.
I think the other one wouldprobably be snuggling with my
dog Like that's a really goodone doing a snuggling with my
dog or with my wife, like eitherthey both smell really good and
then like and I'm verypheromone driven, so like having
those pheromones like reallycalms me down.
It's the smell Like, and thenthe reason I brought that up is
because it's not just cuddling.
I have to like inhale you know,there, there and it's like,
(20:09):
okay, there's safety there.
So a lot of smelling.
I guess there's a lot ofsmelling involved in my life,
yeah, so I'm very sensitivewe're learning about me.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Today it feels like you're my therapist Happy to
help, happy to help, but youknow, you know, breathing is, I
don't.
I don't even think it's on, Idon't think breathing is, but
meditation is yeah.
So, you know, during COVID,during the quarantine, I was the
(20:39):
most peaceful, calm andcentered that I have ever been
in my entire life, and some ofthat, of course, was that there
was literally no demands on me,none Like I couldn't leave the
house, but some of it was everymorning and every night I did a
meditation.
You know it was a guidedmeditation.
I did yoga every day.
You know it was.
(21:00):
You know I was walking aroundin nature.
It was all the stuff that youknow you should do, but you
don't make the time to do.
I had all the time to do it.
So you know, I want to get backto that.
I want to get back to.
I was so thriving in the middleof this pandemic that you know
(21:22):
I want to get back to it.
I want to get back to some ofthose things.
Obviously, I have a life and Ihave to.
I have commitments, but that'sthe other thing I do.
By the way, one of the thingson my thrive list is cancel some
appointments because I overschedule, that is so good, that
is a really good one.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Oh, my God, I that one's going on my list, because
that's something that people.
So actually I'm curious, right?
Because, Nancy, you alsoprobably have the same problem
at a certain level, or or notlike level, but like at a
certain stage of your career.
Everybody wants to talk to youall the time and you always have
appointments, you always have.
There's just always stuffhappening and and like and
(22:02):
there's a desire to do that, butit but there's a but.
There's a difficulty, I think,in terms of like we can give all
of ourselves away until there'slike nothing left.
Now I'm going to the doctor andI've got to meet with this
person, I've got a podcast andI've got this right and like now
it's just nonstop.
So I'm curious to know, like,how does one balance?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
How do you balance that.
So I don't take any meetings onFridays or Mondays.
Okay, I just don't.
That's a good one, that's ahard boundary that I will not
break.
Okay, so Mondays I call itmindset.
Monday I won't.
I don't.
I didn't leave my corporate job.
Now I have the luxury of doingthat because I work for myself.
I didn't leave my corporate jobto get up Monday morning and
(22:41):
start grinding.
Like I want to ease into myweek and the best way I can do
that is to have a free day whereI can say okay, what are my
priorities for the week?
You know, blah, blah, blah.
What you know blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
Fridays every now, and then I'llhave a meeting on a Friday.
But again, I didn't, I didn'tbuild my business to be grinding
Friday so that then I likeleave my desk in a huff because
(23:03):
it's the weekend and I come backand it's a shit show, or I, or
I'm thinking about it allweekend.
So that's one thing I do.
You know, frankly, tuesdays,wednesdays, thursdays, I'm over.
I'm right now, I'm overscheduled.
But I have an awareness, likeand we were talking about this
earlier I know I'm overscheduled now, so I'll probably
block some pockets of time nextweek so people can't book
(23:24):
appointments with me.
I'll get back to blocking sometime out.
I canceled an appointment fortomorrow.
I canceled.
I asked for a little bit of alag.
Today I was late for a call.
I said can we start this call10 minutes later because I
needed those 10 minutes.
You know it's it's it's it'stough, it's it's self inflicted.
(23:46):
I'm in charge of my own time.
So what's my problem?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Do you feel bad when you so like?
You know, if you're like cause,like I, really one of the
things again that this is, andevery time you sometimes words
will come out of your mouth andI'm like this is why I love her
so much Right, it's like it'sbecause you have very good
boundary language.
You have really good boundarylanguage and like in, in not
just boundary language, in likelike scripts, but in ways that
help me to like reframe it, theway that I think about something
(24:17):
.
Right?
So for me, when you're like I'mgoing to be 10 minutes late, or
like um, you know, I have tocancel appointments.
If I was to do that, I wouldfeel, oh, I'm letting that
person down and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like there's a story in my head.
Can I ask you what story thatyou tell?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yes, so the story that I tell is they're not going
to care and in fact they mightwant the time back too.
Yeah, usually, usually if I'mlike hey, I know we had a call
set, like, let's say today hey,I know we had a call set up.
I'm not at my best and I thinkit'd be a lot better if we moved
it to next week.
Wouldn't you be psyched to havean hour back in your day?
(24:57):
Oh, yeah, totally.
And you know what?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
That's so true.
I've never once said to anyone,or no one has ever said to me,
I need to cancel, and maybe,like God, you're such an asshole
.
It's always like, thank God, Ihave an hour back.
Oh shit, I would have enjoyedtalking to you, but you know
what?
I'll talk to you next week.
Then, right Like it's, it's nota thing for me, but when I do
it, I talk to you.
When I do it, I turn it into athing for me.
So I think the key is to tolike flip that script and
(25:18):
recognize that just because I'mdoing it doesn't change the
nature of it.
It's still the same, nobodycares, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Well, nobody cares, and you're doing them a
disservice if you show uphalf-assed.
So that's good.
And I have said things like youknow what?
I have a lot going on and myhead's not in the game.
You know, I think it would bebetter if we postponed it.
This is on me.
I want to show up the best thatI can for you, and that's just
(25:45):
not going to happen this week.
And they're like great, thankyou.
They respect it, they'regrateful, like well, thank you.
Like have you ever been in acall with someone and you're
like why do they have a bug uptheir ass?
Like great.
Or why are they even here,right?
Like, and it wasn't.
I'm sure it had nothing to dowith you.
I'm sure that they had a morething's going on, maybe you know
.
So it's.
It's more about again thrivingand being at your best.
(26:09):
Yeah, and that means that Ithat I ask if we can move it.
I mean, if I called you, wouldyou have been mad?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
No, no, if I'm like yeah, no, we deal, it's fine.
In fact, I usually check 10 to15 minutes beforehand to make
sure, like yesterday somebodyhad a.
I had a scheduled in.
Some one of my podcast guestsunfortunately had a tragedy in
their family and I was like, andthey felt so bad and I was like
what is wrong?
Don't feel bad, like this istotally fine, you know it's
actually.
I want to actually throwsomething else out there because
as you were talking, I waslistening and what I heard was
(26:36):
is in my mind was trust, thepeople that you work with, right
, and it made me think to myselfthat I have worked hard, as you
have, I would imagine, tosurround yourself with the kind
of people who will help youthrive, and so chances are that
any of the people that you reachout to to say this will all be
in that same mindset.
So it'll be like no big deal.
Let's say you had messaged meand I'm like Nancy, you are so
(26:59):
unreliable.
You would be like I amliterally never talking to
Vanessa again, like this is notsomeone I've wanted my life.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, and that's a good point, because I'm trying
to think it is possible thatlet's say, today you could have
been like, oh, you know what,nancy, I really wanted this to
go out next week.
This is the only time I have.
And then I would probably say,okay, get your game face on Like
you tried.
It's not always gonna work.
You tried and yes, because Itrust you and I trust that if it
(27:29):
was okay, you would have saidno, let's do it next week.
The only exception to that isusually if it's a client.
I probably, you know, ninetimes out of 10, I wouldn't do
that to a client.
They're paying me and I need torespect that.
And also, at the same time, Iset really clear boundaries with
my clients.
So when I do a speaking gigthis is interesting, so this is
(27:53):
for consultants, coaches,speakers I will put in my
contracts.
You know, here's the speakingengagement.
You know 90 minutes, you know60 minutes.
Whatever Included is one onehour session to happen at least
two weeks prior to the event.
One one hour planning sessionor 30 minute planning session.
And then when they say, hey,can we talk to you again and
(28:13):
again, and again, and again andagain, I'm like okay, guys, so
we have one session, so let'sfocus on that and that's all I
can commit to at this time, likeas a coach, consultant or
speaker, all you have is yourtime.
So if you have somebody thatisn't used to the process or
(28:35):
doesn't really know how to do it, or isn't really organized or
whatever might be going on attheir company, you know that's
unfortunate.
I can't spend six hourspre-planning with you because
that's money out of my pocket,right, and that's not what we
agreed to.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And I think that you know and that makes a lot of
sense.
You're not, I've spoken with it.
I, you know, in interviewing abunch of speakers, you know you
can.
I think that one of the thingsthat sort of sets season
speakers apart is the ones whowill put the boundaries around
it.
Because, like, I think that oneof the things that can happen
as a speaker is that, like,you're the expert, right, and
I've hired you now to speak atmy event, but wait, I have all
(29:12):
these other things that I reallyneed to know and as long as
we're having this conversation,I may as well just throw these
in there, right?
So a conversation that'ssupposed to take an hour can
take longer because we keepgetting derailed because they're
not sure how to do the thing.
So I think part of that has tobe, like you're saying,
recognizing when you're theexpert and you have to be the
one to set the boundaries.
You know, I think here's what'sinteresting about that right,
(29:35):
cause, like, we even raise in aculture that says the customer
is always right.
So what you just said actuallyI love more than anything in the
world, because I don't believethe customer is always right and
I believe that we are, that inmany cases we're partnerships
and we're working in apartnership and like, and so
it's about mutual respect, notabout me bending over for you,
right.
And so I think that how did you?
(29:58):
Because?
Were there times as part ofyour career, has this been a
conversation that you've hadwith people about the boundary
being like a I'm drawing aboundary, it's totally fine, but
the mistaken belief that existsin many people's minds that
because we're paying you money,you should really just say yes
to everything we ask you to dohave you ever had that
circumstance, or have you everhad to coach somebody out of
that circumstance?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I've had clients who speaking clients and coaching
clients, who don't really honorthat, and it's okay, because I'm
not like I don't.
I'm trying to think of how tosay this.
So if they send me 75 emails,I'll say I'll respond.
(30:44):
I'll respond, or I'll say thisis part of your planning process
, Let me know who's gonna berunning point, or something like
that.
Or I have a checklist that Isend out ahead of time.
So I've done it enough that,like, let's say, I'm hired for a
gig and as part of the contract, I say part of this is a 30
(31:09):
minute pre-planning call, tohappen at least two weeks prior
to the event.
Oh, you know what, I'll giveyou a better one.
If they wanna look at my deckand change it, Okay, because
that used to happen and I will.
I mean, I'm happy to go throughkind of a general flow, but
this is not your presentation,it's mine and you're hiring me
for a reason.
(31:29):
I wanna understand what'simportant to your company.
I wanna know what you don'twant me to say, because I won't,
you know, obviously, and myenergy and my experience and the
essence of this program is whatI'm going to do.
So I have the creative rights,if you will to that.
So I won't send it to themahead of time.
(31:50):
I won't.
I'll review it with them.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I mean I'll send them ahead of time so that they can
load it onto the onto the rightright, but it's not like you're
sending it to them to be like,hey, go through it and tell me
all the things that you want meto do.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
No, because that has happened to me and it happened
when I was younger, in myspeaking career, and they would
send it back and say, can youchange this?
And I would change it then tobe like, if you can change this,
and I would be reallyfrustrated.
And I remember I was actuallytalking to my husband and he's
like, well, who's speech is it?
I'm like, yeah, it's fine.
So you know, it's just.
It's just.
You know again, it's clear andkind right, like it's just
(32:23):
setting the parameter, like yes,I will go through it with you,
we'll go through it, you know,at least two weeks prior, so I
can make all the changes.
You'll get it.
You know a few days ahead oftime.
I ask that you don't distributeit.
You know, whatever the case is,you learn and then you build it
into your agreement and youknow that's, that's just what I
do.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I love this.
So I gotta tell you, like Ididn't know where this you know
cause.
So, just so that everyone knows, nancy and I decided we wanted
to do a podcast together.
So she got on it and we justjumped on it and said, okay,
let's record.
And I did not expect, causethis is gonna be a goldmine for
two things.
One, the resilient conversationwas awesome in general.
But you know I get a lot ofquestions, you know, from
speakers and I'm sure you do aswell, wanting to know stuff
(33:04):
about logistics, and often youknow, even when I've asked the
questions I haven't necessarilyknown what the questions were
that I needed to ask.
But through this conversationyou gave such a great sort of
like if somebody is an up andcoming speaker and trying to
figure out how to figure outtheir process and that kind of
thing, your blueprint for thisarea of it today was really,
really helpful.
Nancy, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
(33:26):
Okay, so as we start to wrap uptoday, I wanted to make sure
that I gave you the opportunity,just cause you have so much
stuff going on you have.
Let's remind everyone guys, ifyou have not bought this book,
buy it.
I have so many copies at myhouse that I just keep giving
away to people, so I just keepbuying them.
So literally I put a lot ofyour books, nancy, so get the
book so I don't have to give youa copy.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Can you tell them about how we met, about no,
about when you went live, aboutmy book?
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh my gosh, that was so funny.
So I okay.
So I read the book and I fellin love with it and I think I
became like really weird fangirl.
Just gonna say I totally did,I'm a fan person and then I
decided that this was importantenough.
So this is actually the firstlive I did about books and now I
do lives about the books that Ihaven't impacted on my life
because of this one.
So I did a live and I'm not alot talking about it and just
(34:15):
out of nowhere, Nancy was on aplane.
I mean, I didn't know she wason a plane, I didn't even know
she was there and I'm talkingabout her and suddenly she
fucking shows up in the commentsand says, oh my God, and I'm
like, oh my God, and I'm like Idon't know that I can keep
talking now, Like this is.
I was like I'm such a fan.
I'm such a fan, this is soexciting, and I'm like, oh my
God, she's gonna join in.
This is great, it was soawesome.
(34:36):
And then, but that gave me theopportunity to invite you to
like, it gave me the boldness tobe like dude, let's do a
podcast, we're just all of it, Iknow right.
So, guys, seriously, I have tosay you really just have to
seize the day, like when thereis some.
If there's something you love,share that.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
You love it, because that's how we met Definitely and
that's happened so many timesin my life my business coach.
Now I have a business coach whois amazing.
I heard her on a podcast twoyears ago.
She's a top 1% podcaster likein the world, like legit this is
not like a bullshit metric,like she really is.
She I heard her on a podcast, Ireached out to her she answers
(35:14):
all her own DMs and we ended upworking together and we're still
a year later.
We're still working together.
Like you gotta do it.
You have to take the chanceBecause, like I answer all my
own DMs, of course, I lovehearing from people.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
So I love that.
I love that you answered me.
Do you have anything right nowthat is upcoming, that we want
to share with the listeners,because I know everybody's
fallen in love with you?
And, by the way, don't forget,guys, to go listen to the other
podcasts that we did with Nancy.
I'll put it in the show notes,oh yeah, that was a good one.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
What you got for us, nancy, that was a good one.
So I have a retreat coming upAbout when will this air?
Do you know, like you know what?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
This will air probably in oh you know what,
let's say early December.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh, okay, so I will have already done my retreat.
I have a retreat that I did onCape Cod in the fall.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
How did it go, Nancy?
How was it?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Fantastic, it was sold out.
It was like amazing, awesome.
So yeah, I mean I always have Ido some private one-on-one
coaching.
It's an eight-week program andit's there's an application and
the application really isbecause I want to make sure that
whoever is investing in me andmy expertise and in themselves
(36:27):
that it's a good fit.
So that I mean that's probablyit right now.
I, you know, in December, whoknows, I'm gonna be who knows?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's so true, I'm gonna be honest, it's so true I
barely know what I'm doing nextweek.
I'm still figuring out the restof my life, but you know what I
think?
Actually the key here is toactually follow Nancy.
Like, really, that's the key,because you'll probably be on
again, but you want to followNancy and you want to keep an
eye out for all the things thatshe's doing, because I'll tell
you, this year my word of theyear was supernova and I and I
sign her right.
(36:54):
It's just, it's been a goodword and I wouldn't have had.
Like, the key to being asupernova or doing something big
is you have to be able to speakup.
You have to be able to say thewords.
You can't make an impact orhave a different or do anything
if you don't use your voice, andone of the things that I have
always struggled with is usingmy voice and having the words.
(37:16):
And this book changed my lifehere and you speak changed my
life.
So follow her at nancymedoffcom, right?
Is that your URL, yup,nancymedoffcom?
All of the links will be in theshow notes.
Thank you so much, nancy.
You were amazing.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Thank you.
You're amazing, you are apsychologist.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I tell you things.
You make a list.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.