November 7, 2025 • 56 mins
#surrogacy #ivf #surrogate
Grace’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/graces_surro_journey?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Kiely’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatsurrogatelife?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
What happens when the transfers are done, the last delivery is behind you, and the identity you wore with pride suddenly shifts? We sit down with a seasoned pair of voices—Grace, a two‑time carrier, and Kiely, a four‑time carrier—to talk candidly about “retirement” from surrogacy, the choice to step back versus being told no by clinics, and the surprising ways purpose expands after the final journey.
The conversation moves from age cutoffs and ACOG guidance on C‑sections to the emotional calculus of ending on your own terms. Grace shares how preparing for her last pregnancy shaped a peaceful exit, while Kiely explains why she wanted the decision to be hers, then channeled that energy into writing, mentoring, and creating Send a Friend, a grassroots program that brings an experienced surrogate to support first‑time postpartum surrogates. Along the way, we reflect on what surrogacy teaches our families: that love builds families in many forms; that children can learn to answer strangers with clarity and pride; and that empathy deepens when you stand next to someone who longs for a child money can’t buy.
We also get practical. Expect frank talk about changing insurance rules, clinic discretion, compensation norms, and how to research without falling into bias. You’ll hear why Facebook groups can be both a lifeline and a minefield, and how to gather perspective that sets realistic expectations for matching, protocols, and postpartum recovery. Most of all, we reframe the label “retired.” You’re not done—you’re a surrogate emerita, carrying wisdom forward through advocacy, education, and community.
If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with someone curious about surrogacy, and leave a review with the insight you wish every new surrogate knew. Your voice helps more families—and more surrogates—find their path.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_04 (00:00):
Welcome.
We are a mother-daughter podcastabout all things surrogacy.
Together, we have brought eightbeautiful babies into this
world.
And we would like to sharethrough education and knowledge
about surrogacy with those whowant to educate themselves on
the topic.
This is Stop, Sit, Surrogate.
(00:20):
Have you ever thought aboutgrowing your family but aren't
sure what your options are?
Or maybe you're someone whowants to help others experience
the joy of parenthood?
That's where Northwest SurrogacyCenter comes in.
Northwest Surrogacy Center is afull service surrogacy agency
that guides intended parents andsurrogates through every step of
the journey, with compassion,transparency, and personalized
(00:42):
care.
From matching to legal supportto emotional wellness, they make
what can feel an overwhelmingfeeling to be human and
supported.
Whether you're consideringsurrogacy to grow your family,
or you're ready to become asurrogate yourself, Northwest
Surrogacy Center is there towalk beside you every step of
the way.
Visit NorthwestSurrogacyCenter.com at NW at
(01:05):
SurrogacyCenter.com to learnmore and take the first step
towards something trulylife-changing.
Northwest Surrogacy Center.
Love makes families.
Hi everybody, welcome back toStopsit Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Today we have a lovely FridayFacts.
(01:26):
This is gonna be a three-parterbecause so many girls want to
talk about being a retiredsurrogate.
So this is part one, and we havea seasoned voice with us and a
fresh voice.
So uh Grace, do you want tointroduce yourself real quick?
SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
Sure.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm Grace.
I am a retired two-timesurrogate in California.
SPEAKER_04 (01:50):
Okay, perfect.
And Kylie, would you like tointroduce yourself?
SPEAKER_00 (01:55):
Yeah, I'm Kylie.
I am a retired four-timesurrogate.
And I'm a from just outside ofTulsa, Oklahoma.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04 (02:06):
Oh my gosh, you beat us, girl.
Yep.
We're only threes.
Wow.
Four.
Wow.
Yeah, four times.
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (02:14):
Um, and then mom, your retired surrogate.
Three time surrogates, sevenbabies total, right?
Seven?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I lost count.
Maybe it's six.
I can't even remember.
Triplets, twins, a single.
What is that?
Three.
That's six.
Sorry.
Seven.
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
I gotta count every time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (02:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:31):
Plus your own, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (02:33):
But right, that's nine.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of babies.
A lot of babies.
Okay, well, um, I guess I'm justgonna start with like the like
the elephant question, right?
Did you lady well, did youladies choose to retire, or were
you kind of like told thatyou're done, this is it?
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
Go ahead, Grace.
I think I chose to retire.
I feel like I could pursue anadditional journey, from what I
understand.
It wouldn't be able to be in theUS because I've had four
C-sections now.
So I think the the ACOGguidelines say that you can only
(03:17):
have um four C-sections max.
You like can't pursue a journeyafter that, and that's in the US
though.
So I've been told that I couldpursue outside of the US in
Canada, but I just feel like atthis point in my life, I'm gonna
be 41 this month.
So I feel like I've had such agood run.
(03:38):
I ended on such a beautifuljourney, and I don't want to
push it and tempt any challengesthat could come.
So I think it would be best justto close that chapter.
SPEAKER_04 (03:50):
And totally, totally fair.
And you've had the you've hadthe time to kind of like
mentally prepare for that aswell, right?
SPEAKER_01 (03:58):
Yeah, well, I knew going into my last pregnancy
that it likely would be the end.
It was our third transfer, andour contract called for three,
and I I didn't know if I wouldmatch after that, so I just I
really went into it thinkingthat it was gonna be the end.
(04:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:20):
Okay, okay.
How about you, Kylie?
I you know, I went into thethird journey thinking it was
gonna be my last one, and duringthat recovery process, I thought
this is just who I am now, let'sjust do another one.
And I remember thinking abouthalfway through that journey
(04:42):
that when I do retire and I likefind myself in that, you know,
post-surgacy world, I reallywant that to be my decision.
I don't, I really don't want aclinic to decide that for me or
an agency to say that I need tohang up my hat.
You know, I wanted to be the oneto make that decision.
(05:05):
So I just hope that everythingwould just continue going as
seamlessly and flawlessly as ithas been, and I would get the
opportunity to make thatdecision for myself.
And um, and I did.
I have a, I feel like I havethis one little caveat though,
that like I have a follow-up, myannual visit with my OBGYN, and
(05:29):
I feel like I want to ask her,like just for fun, you know,
like, hey, if I wanted to,hypothetically, would you
approve it?
You know, because if she saysyes, then I could be like, okay,
great, then it's like solid 100%my decision to retire and to be
done.
But I feel like if she tells me,like, I love you, but if you
(05:53):
really wanted to do it again, Iwould tell you no, then you
know, yeah, that's true.
So pending that nightmare,there's I I've made the decision
myself.
And I feel like after four, youknow, I have two boys, my own
two children, and then foursurgees, one of them that was
(06:16):
twins.
I've very proudly put my bodythrough so much and my mind
through so much with everypostpartum recovery journey that
I just got to a point where Iwas so happy and so at peace and
so content with just this is thelast one, and I'm I'm done now.
Yep.
(06:37):
There you go.
SPEAKER_06 (06:38):
That's the way to retire from anything.
You want to do it.
Yeah, yeah, no, your on yourterms.
Yeah, when I did it, it was 40was the cutoff, and I got
pregnant when I was 40 with thelast surrogate baby, so I was
forced out.
But I have a couple women in mysupport group that are uh 41 and
42, and they're still doingright.
I I long time ago, this was 20years ago, right?
(07:00):
Yeah, 20.
I've been retired for 20, Ithink it is.
Yeah, yeah, 20.
20, 38.
No, 18.
Sorry.
Oh my god.
No, I'm trying to think howold's the old yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's 18.
It's eight.
Isn't it 18?
Don't ask me.
SPEAKER_04 (07:13):
I was not the time deep.
SPEAKER_06 (07:16):
It's been a while, but I know the triplets, so I
don't know, I don't know the.
Yeah, I know that after theafter the so it was yeah, and I
got pregnant at 40, and I waslike, this has gotta take, this
has gotta take, because I gottado this one.
And then I wasn't, I didn't geta choose to do another one.
But had I had they let me, Iwould have done another one.
One more.
I would have 100% done one more.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
Yep.
And I kind of feel like, youknow, we all say, and not
everybody's gonna agree withthis, and that's totally okay,
but we all say, like, oh, myagency said that I I should be
done, or this clinic that westarted did this journey down
with didn't approve me, and soI'm gonna hang up my hat.
(07:56):
There are guidelines out therethat all of those clinics work
hard to abide by.
Every single one of them isenabled and empowered to make
their use their own discretionand make an exception where they
think an exception isappropriate.
Just because one clinic says youdon't fit the box that we're
needing a circuit to fit indoesn't mean that another agency
(08:18):
won't absolutely read throughyour records and give it some
discretion and be totally okaywith giving it a shot.
Yeah.
So it's really up to thecircuit.
SPEAKER_06 (08:31):
Agreed.
unknown (08:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (08:32):
Back then it was just a hard 40.
That's it, no exceptions.
Sure.
No ifs, sounds or buts about it.
SPEAKER_04 (08:37):
Sorry, I can't imagine your doctor being like,
yes, Ellen, you have died twiceon the table.
Um, you have had two C-sections.
I 100%, yeah.
You're you're a great candidate.
SPEAKER_06 (08:48):
Are you on your mind?
It was three sections, Csections, so I could add another
one.
unknown (08:53):
Three.
SPEAKER_06 (08:54):
I it's it was three, was the guy right back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you.
That was three.
SPEAKER_04 (08:58):
But like the dying two times probably makes up for
the third.
That's kind of a big deal.
Whatever.
A little bit.
I'm still here.
I know.
I'm just saying.
I just I don't know if yourdoctor would I'd be interested
to know if you don't haveapproved you.
I think you would have.
Really?
I do.
Very interesting.
That's okay.
That's possible.
SPEAKER_06 (09:17):
That ship has sailed.
SPEAKER_04 (09:18):
We can't.
No, I know, I know, I know.
Moving on, moving on.
So, okay, so um, I mean, a lotof things that I hear about, you
know, I I have friends.
I have friends that are retiredsurrogates, and it's always been
like uh I know maybe I becauseI'm also I'm gonna start this
over.
I'm also like mentally like, amI like was this it?
(09:39):
I got 10 more years in me.
Like I'm I don't want to bedone, but like who knows, like
once I go on and have my own,like my my own keepers and
things like that, like ifsomething's going to disqualify
me later on.
So it's really like messing withmy mind, like, wait, hold on,
maybe that was it.
Maybe I am done.
Like this is what's my identitynow?
(09:59):
I think that that's a lot ofpeople, a lot of surrogates who
have done this especially morethan once, where they're like,
Well, who am I then?
If I'm not having babies forother people, who am I?
Which is a wild it's wild tothink, but also not.
So how did you guys cope withthat?
(10:20):
Or did you not think like that?
SPEAKER_01 (10:23):
I did think like that, and I feel like this year
has done a lot to help me decidewho I am now, and I still
forever want to be attached tosurrogacy.
Like I'm still an advocate forsurrogacy.
I'll talk to anybody all daylong about surrogacy.
(10:44):
I'm still very much in touchwith my intended parents.
It's still a big part of my lifeand takes up a lot of space in
my mind still.
Um, but I got I got a promotionat work right after I had my
last surrogate baby, and thatwas a pretty big deal for like
(11:06):
shaping, okay, like this is whoI am now, and and now I'm gonna
get really fit and live my bestlife, and then I'm gonna get a
tummy tuck and like start thisnew chapter of my life where I'm
done having babies and doing allthese other things that I've
always wanted to do.
And then I got pregnant,surprised with my own baby a few
(11:28):
months ago, and andunfortunately we lost the baby,
but that just kind of has openedthis new like, is this a new
part of my life that I want topursue?
So I feel like I'm stillfiguring all of that out.
SPEAKER_04 (11:42):
Yeah, I'm sorry, Grace.
I know.
My heart's with you, girly.
I know, mine too, honey.
SPEAKER_01 (11:48):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_04 (11:49):
But for sure, I mean we say it all the time, right?
Just because you're a retiredjury.
I mean, heck, my mom retiredwhat, 20 years ago, you said?
Yep, something like that.
So still still loves it to thisday.
You know, gotta be gotta be inthe community.
It's just it's a great communityto be a part of.
Kylie, did you feel this?
Like, did you go through thesame kind of like motions, like
(12:10):
mentally?
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
I feel like on delivery day, at the end of
surrogacy number one, I wasabsolutely sold that this is,
you know, outside of motheringmy own two children, this is the
most fulfilling thing I've everdone.
I absolutely want to do itagain.
(12:32):
And then I kind of took it, youknow, journey by journey after
that.
And I think each time it justsolidified more and more that
like this is a part of who I am,and I'm so passionate about
this.
And I enjoy the conversationswith skeptics, and I will
absolutely advocate for surgatesand surrogacy wherever I can.
(12:56):
And and none of that has to stopwhen the journey stops.
So I've been fortunate enough tostay involved and uh, you know,
give back in different ways inthe industry, and and so far, so
good, and I still have a lot ofwork ahead of me.
(13:17):
And um, so yeah, short answers.
Um I absolutely learned that itwas, you know, a part of who I
am, and there's always ways thatI'm still involved.
SPEAKER_04 (13:30):
Yeah.
And you can continue to beinvolved.
That's what that's the beauty ofthe community, right?
Yeah, yeah.
We're not like we're gonna kickyou out.
No way.
Everybody, once you're here, youstay.
SPEAKER_06 (13:39):
You're so tied to there's life out there because
of you.
Like that, that's huge.
That's how do you just turn thatoff?
Yeah, I mean you don't.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
You don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I I brought seven babiesinto this world, you know.
Amazing.
Good for you.
Yeah, wow.
SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
What geez, you're right there with my mom.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Holy cow.
Yeah, when you when you werecounting earlier, I I counted
real quick in my head.
It was like, yeah, that's right.
There you go.
Wow.
SPEAKER_06 (14:07):
Kind of like hard to believe.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00 (14:09):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:09):
But it's like you said, it's it's very, it's a
very fulfilling thing.
Like it's I think that's likethe perfect word for it because
a lot of people are like, oh,like you're not we're not gonna
like dive into this, but like,you know, like, oh, it's you're
not selfless or whatever doingsurrogacy because US surrogates
get compensated.
But like, let's just take thatout of it.
It's fulfilling.
It's yeah, it's a calling.
SPEAKER_06 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Whoever you believe, yep, highercalling.
Not everybody can do it.
SPEAKER_04 (14:37):
Did you go through those mental emotions though,
mom?
SPEAKER_06 (14:40):
Oh, 100%.
Now there's way more work waymore uh avenues for people to be
involved, right?
Now there's podcasters, peoplecan work for surrogate agencies.
There's like that was such asmall niche back then.
Like even if you wanted to workfor an agency, there no way in
heck could you work for one?
Like you had to either own it orknow the owner.
It wasn't happening, and therewasn't that many agencies.
(15:01):
You got to think about it thatway, too.
They just what do you want tocall that?
Fireworks.
They just became rampant whenpeople were like, Oh, there's
such a need.
Um, or we can offer this and wecan offer that.
But I I really think I put it onthe back burner.
Like, I again I was forced outbecause of age, I wasn't ready,
wasn't ready.
So there was a lot of mindplaying going on there with me.
(15:23):
It's like, well, what do I donow?
Hold on a second.
So I went back to school andbecame a nurse.
Like that was like, how do Ihelp?
How do I help?
Yeah, was my that was myrationale for okay, that was my
answer.
That's how I'm helping.
And then when Kennedy came upwith the idea, hey, do you want
to do this and talk about it?
I'm like, oh heck yeah, I thinkit took me five seconds to say
yes, you know, and it was like,oh, oh, it we can still talk
(15:46):
about it.
Oh, okay.
I still have something to offer.
So yeah, I I don't think I'llever be done with it.
I'll probably be on my deathbedand be going, yeah, like, hey.
SPEAKER_00 (15:57):
Yeah.
You put in the last five to tenyears.
I mean, what you compare theindustry in the last, you know,
five, six, seven years to whatit was 20 years ago, and it's
totally different.
I mean, there's twice as manyagencies that there's people
thinking outside the box as tohow they can get involved in the
industry and support circus andsupport intended parents.
(16:17):
And yes, and there's justamazing.
I mean, it's it and and you lookat the industry outlook for
circusy and IBF, and it's justit's only up from here.
It is correct.
Yeah, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_04 (16:31):
It's uh yeah, it's a lot.
It's it is a lot, and even likejust like a couple years ago,
like from my from my thirdjourney to me starting my fourth
journey, which was only like ayear and a half, so much has
changed.
Like insurance laws have changedand everything.
And I'm like, what?
It is a lot, it's like a wholenew world.
(16:52):
And I just did it like a yearbefore I trying to do my fourth
one.
So I was like, what is going on?
And uh this just shows you thatone science comes so well
science has come so far, whichis so great.
But then also now people arestarting to like open their ears
and be like, wait, how can wenickel and dime everything in
this aspect of it?
Like, how can we get the mostout of it and like or protect
(17:14):
themselves and show or protectthemselves, right?
Right.
There are there are goodprotections now.
Yes, I was being cynical, butyes.
I know you are.
I read you, girl.
I read you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
There's I mean, there's truth to to that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:26):
Yeah, yeah.
Um, okay, so how did surrogacychange your guys' outlook on
motherhood or family?
SPEAKER_00 (17:37):
Oh my gosh, I'll start with that one.
Yeah, I I started my ownmotherhood journey feeling
grossly unprepared because I wasmy husband and I were, you know,
20 and 21.
We were very young and weren'tyet married.
(17:58):
And I remember the one feeling,the overwhelming feeling that I
felt the second my firstborn sonwas put on my chest was
responsibility.
This overwhelming feeling oflike this creature I just made
with my body is now existing,and I'm 100% responsible.
(18:22):
My husband and I are 100%responsible for this guy, you
know, and obviously thatblossoms into so many other
feelings pride and encouragementand attachment and all these
other things, but I rememberthis just overwhelming sense of
responsibility responsibility,and I I think that has just done
(18:43):
me a lot of good as a motherhaving that kind of foundation.
I've just um I feel like I'vedone well to really embrace
motherhood, and I love being amom so much, and the idea that
in the reality that some womencan't, if at no fault of their
(19:07):
own, right, get pregnant orsustain a pregnancy and how
prevalent that is, that justreally I mean it it truly opened
my eyes the first time I Icarried for another family, and
I thought, shoot, my husbandcould just look at me a certain
way and I could get pregnant,you know, and it's just never
been an issue.
So to think that it's not justan issue and like this hurdle
(19:31):
that somebody has to overcome,but it's physically impossible
for some.
SPEAKER_05 (19:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:35):
It's it just um it just blew my mind.
And I thought, man, if if all Ihave to do is be pregnant and
somebody else could go on toexperience motherhood, which is
amazing, then you know, sign meup is one of the easiest
decisions I've ever made.
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (19:55):
I wholeheartedly agree with that.
My I long story short, did thisfor same-sex male couples in the
beginning.
My this past journey alonetaught me so much about
infertility, which is wildbecause I've been doing the
podcast a lot longer than I wason my journey.
But being that close to someone,my intended mother, who just I
(20:17):
mean, m m money wasn't aquestion, so it made me sad
because I was like, this womancould literally buy anything in
the world.
She could buy a freaking castleif she wanted.
All she wants is a baby.
She can't, she can't, she can't,she can't do it.
She can't, and it crushed me andmade me just look at life in
such a different light and justbe just so just heartbroken and
(20:41):
like because you can alwaysunderstand, you always see
people's stories on Instagram oneverything, and you're like, oh
my gosh, like that's this isheartbreaking, like my heart's
with you, like everything likethat.
But when you're actually touchedby it by someone that you know,
it's like this completelydifferent look and appreciation
(21:02):
towards them and their battle.
It's oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:06):
Yeah, you get a whole different sense of empathy
being this closely involved, forsure.
Yeah, and you treasure yourgifts even more.
SPEAKER_04 (21:15):
Hundred percent provided, yeah.
We'll be right back.
But first, I want to take aquick moment to talk about
something close to my heart,helping families grow through
surrogacy.
If you've ever thought aboutbecoming a surrogate or if
you're an intended parent readyto start your journey, Paying It
Forward Surrogacy is here toguide you every step of the way.
At Paying It Forward Surrogacy,you're not just a number.
(21:36):
You're supported, celebrated,and connected with real people
who've walked this path before.
Whether you're just starting toexplore or ready to take the
next step, they'll make sure youfeel informed, empowered, and
cared for from day one.
Visit Payingit ForwardSurrogacy.com to learn more.
That's Payingit ForwardSurrogacy.com because every
journey to parenthood deservesheart, honesty, and the right
(21:59):
support.
Now let's get back to theepisode.
SPEAKER_06 (22:04):
For a lot of us, it is it was so easy.
And I hate even talking abouthow easy to get pregnant because
I don't want it to sound sodemeaning to those who are
having a tough time.
But that's one of the reasons Igot into it.
Uh yep, let's do this, let'shelp somebody else.
Yeah.
Wow.
Sad.
SPEAKER_01 (22:25):
I feel like my perspective's a little bit
different on that, just in thatI I only carried for one family
and it was a same-sex couple.
The reason that I got intosurrogacy to begin with was
because I had people in my life,namely women, that were
struggling with infertility andstruggling to create a family of
(22:47):
their own.
And I was like, oh, I I can helpsomeone.
I too get pregnant easily andhad great pregnancies.
So I would love to help somebodybe able to do that and to be
able to experience that againbecause I think as mothers,
that's such a a cool and uniquething that we get to do is to
(23:08):
carry children.
So that's why I got into it.
But getting matched with asame-sex couple taught me that
parenthood comes in so manydifferent forms.
And that really got driven homewhen my intended parents were
here last year when their secondbaby was born and they brought
(23:28):
their first baby with them.
She was three.
She just turned four a few weeksago.
But getting to watch them beparents with her was even more
fulfilling than actuallydelivering the babies and
handing them over, watching themactually be amazing parents and
(23:49):
explain things to her so thatshe understands and to spend
countless hours.
I do not know where these guysgot the energy to play on the
floor with their daughter forhours and hours and dance and
sing and do all the things, butthey are incredible parents and
and that makes me understandeven more that that really like
(24:14):
love is love and everybody thatcan give love deserves to have a
family.
SPEAKER_04 (24:19):
Agreed.
SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Yep.
Agreed.
SPEAKER_04 (24:21):
A hundred percent.
And I love the lessons that it'staught my son as well.
Like with it does not matter itdoesn't blood one, blood doesn't
make you family.
And two, there are a billiondifferent types of families and
parents and guardians andeverything like that.
And I've really enjoyed shteaching my son that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
I totally agree.
And I think there's so muchmore, even above and beyond
that, that our own kids get tobenefit from having been exposed
to the world of surrogacy andIVF.
And I mean, my sons have seen awoman be pregnant four times
now, you know, and they havelearned to care during those
(25:10):
times and to no mom can't liftthat.
And no, mom's probably not gonnarun right now.
And you know, mom's not feelingwell, and you know, they they've
learned to appreciate that andrespect that, and and also,
yeah, just the difference ofwhat a family could look like
and why somebody would need asurrogate, and it's not all
(25:31):
super easy, and there's lots ofdoctors and scientists involved,
and and also how to answer otherpeople's skepticism or
questions, you know.
Oh, your mom's pregnant.
Are you having a little brotheror sister?
Nope, my mom's a surrogate,she's caring for another family,
you know, and that's just awhole new set of strengths and
(25:52):
skills that they get to keep andbenefit from, you know.
SPEAKER_06 (25:57):
Yeah, I agree.
They be proud about, yep.
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
Yeah.
I speak from experience, Kylie.
I was very proud of that as asuring child myself.
SPEAKER_06 (26:07):
It's funny because I don't look at it as they were
proud of it.
I look at as they used it assuch a shock factor.
It was so different and was sonew back then, especially with
the trip, is you'd walk in andI'd be huge and we'd go and sit
and have dinner at a restaurant,and they'd go, Oh, another one
on the way, and all three ofthem, yeah.
No, they're not ours, andthere's three.
And you'd go, Okay, and youwouldn't know what they the
(26:28):
waitresses would not know whatto do with it.
And you'd be like, Oh, kids,come on.
Like they loved the shock valueof it.
SPEAKER_04 (26:36):
Yes, but as we got older, it's like an appreciation
to it.
It's like agreed.
If I didn't appreciate it, andif I wasn't proud of it, mom, I
would not have done three of myown journeys.
SPEAKER_06 (26:46):
I'm aware, I'm aware.
When you were eight, I didn'tsee the yeah, it's fine.
It was eight.
Okay, it's fine.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
My uh, my husband is all about the shock factor.
If somebody commented while wewere out and I was obviously
pregnant and they asked us aboutit, he would have he would be so
quick to say, Oh, it's not mine.
SPEAKER_03 (27:07):
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, so it's not mine either.
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_06 (27:12):
That's a great one.
Yeah, that's a cool one.
That's funny.
SPEAKER_01 (27:15):
Well, I know that my kids appreciated it, even if
they didn't say it themselves,because their friends would tell
me.
I remember there was a friendover when I came over, came home
from the hospital last year, andthey came into the living room,
and the friend said, You're asuperhero, Mrs.
Stewart.
(27:36):
Great job.
Oh, so sweet.
SPEAKER_04 (27:39):
And your kids are older, they're like teenagers.
So this friend was like ateenager.
SPEAKER_05 (27:43):
That's so sweet.
That's awesome.
Oh, you are a superhero, Grace.
You are.
Altering it's our ding dingding.
Oh, she's gonna get the book.
SPEAKER_04 (27:57):
Everyone's a superhero.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Yeah.
What is that?
SPEAKER_04 (28:00):
What's our book?
Is this?
Oh, this oh, Kylie, if you'reasking, I shall tell.
This is our children's book thatme and my mom wrote and
published about what, like ayear ago, mom?
A little over a year.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's called My Mom HasSuperpowers.
It's written from the point ofview of my son.
So there's like my kid in here.
Oh, well, those are the dads,but yeah, that's the little girl
(28:22):
that I that one of us carried orwhatever, you know.
It was fun.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
Oh, I love that so much.
On Amazon.
SPEAKER_02 (28:33):
Oh, you have what?
Wait, your mom is brave! Oh, Ilove it.
Oh my gosh, did you write that?
Yes, the idea of being asurgeon.
Okay, where can I buy yours,Kylie?
SPEAKER_00 (28:47):
Yeah, Amazon.
You just put my name in there.
SPEAKER_06 (28:50):
You just put your name in the search engine for
what, Amazon?
Amazon?
Okay, okay, got it.
I'm a little bit.
Where's yours?
Amazon.
Okay, good.
Etsy.
I think it's on Etsy too, right,Ken?
Yeah, Etsy.
SPEAKER_00 (29:02):
Is it both of your names on there?
SPEAKER_04 (29:04):
Yes, both of our names, but let's not do Etsy
mom.
That means I have to purchasemore.
All right.
I'm gonna write it down.
Amazon.
Oh, you your yours was My Mom isBrave.
Yeah, my mom is brave.
I'm gonna put it in the shownotes, Kylie.
I'll put it in the show notes.
Well, now I have to write abook.
SPEAKER_01 (29:20):
I feel left out.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Yes, Grace, you do.
It's it's uh, I mean, theformatting is the hardest part
of the whole thing, Grace.
SPEAKER_04 (29:28):
Oh God, tell me.
unknown (29:29):
Tell me.
SPEAKER_04 (29:30):
Now that Chat GPT is there, it probably will be a
little easier.
What chat GPT, we did not useChat GPT.
Me either.
SPEAKER_01 (29:38):
I don't know if it'll be a children's book,
though.
Maybe it will be like a slightlyhumorous adult point of view
book.
SPEAKER_06 (29:45):
There you go.
That that's needed.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (29:48):
Yes.
You know what I have observedthat I I think is needed?
A lot of surrogates appreciatethis kind of thing to use as a
tool and like introduce thatmine is.
Is just that to uh for asurrogate to use as a tool to
introduce the idea to theirchildren.
Yeah, intended parents want thesame thing they do to introduce
(30:09):
to their child that hey, there'sthis other one coming.
Yep via surrogacy.
There you go, like a second.
Put all that into a children'sbook.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (30:18):
I yeah, I would I I would think that someone out
there would write a book likethat.
We could do a sequel.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
We could do they have from our point of view, or
maybe there needs to be a bookfor the surrogate to introduce
this concept to their family.
So like the adults in theirlife, yeah, true, and and help
them understand.
Like maybe we have a little bitmore like scientific factors in
there, like a simple overview,and that would be a lot less
(30:45):
talking for the surrogate tohave to do.
SPEAKER_04 (30:47):
This is groups, just like carry the book around with
them.
And when people ask here, go go.
SPEAKER_00 (30:52):
I would love it if it was even children's book
style, and you were like,listen, yeah, here's what it is.
Yeah, they're round.
Here's some color pictures.
SPEAKER_04 (31:00):
Make it so basic.
Like kids can understand it,adults could understand it that
way.
Okay, we've de we've we'vecrowned Grace.
This is Grace.
This the Grace is gonna writethis book.
SPEAKER_01 (31:10):
My best friend is having another man's baby.
That's what I titled.
SPEAKER_06 (31:15):
Love it, love it.
Love it.
I'm with it.
I would buy it.
I'm having another man's baby.
Ooh, scandalous.
SPEAKER_04 (31:21):
Ooh.
Goodness.
SPEAKER_06 (31:24):
We're getting we're gettingness.
We needed that like 20 yearsago, no joke, because people, oh
that was the air my parents andtheir friends.
Oh my god, the the comments andlooks, and uh, I just had to
turn it all off.
And thank god there wasn'tsocial media or wasn't a whole
bunch of it back then.
That's true.
Because seriously, I would havebeen like laid out.
(31:45):
I I really would have by all oftheir friends, and especially
doing it for a same-sex couple.
Oh, God help me.
SPEAKER_03 (31:51):
I'm so sure.
SPEAKER_06 (31:52):
Yeah, my my parents were devoutly Catholic and just
not happening.
SPEAKER_04 (31:57):
Like I love grandma, grandma supported.
unknown (32:00):
Love her.
SPEAKER_06 (32:01):
She did.
She was one of the mainsupporters, but the the the flax
she got from her friends.
Oh, well, yes.
Yes, which too bad, so sad.
Sorry, you get what you get, youknow.
Love you.
SPEAKER_00 (32:12):
Yeah, and that's the attitude you kind of have to
have walking into it.
I know why I'm doing it.
Right.
That's the important part.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (32:20):
I really hope none of them listen to this, mom.
SPEAKER_06 (32:23):
How many are left?
Ellen!
SPEAKER_04 (32:28):
I can count them on two fingers.
Okay, we're moving on.
What advice would you give tosomeone considering being a
surrogate?
SPEAKER_01 (32:38):
Do your research is always my top one.
There's so much out there now,too.
So much so that I think you haveto be aware of where you're
getting your research from.
SPEAKER_07 (32:49):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
I mean, like podcasts such as Stops It
Surrogate, that's a great placeto start.
unknown (33:00):
Great place to start.
SPEAKER_04 (33:01):
No, but like I because everybody comes on and
says research, right?
But I am curious, aside fromthis, aside from this podcast,
like did you ladies do research?
Like, did you find researchelsewhere?
Like, was it Facebook groups?
Was it Instagram?
Was it different podcasts,books?
SPEAKER_01 (33:18):
I watched a couple of, there were not a lot at the
time, but a couple of YouTube.
Like there were a couple ofwomen I found on YouTube that
had done journeys and kind ofdocumented it along the way.
Um I feel like maybe it justwasn't being fed into my
algorithm because I wasn't asurrogate yet, but I was not
finding a lot on Instagram atthe time.
(33:42):
Um most of it, like I just typedin, I started with I I literally
started with podcasts, likebecause I do a lot of driving
for work.
So I just typed in surrogacypodcast and started getting a
little bit of info.
The first podcast I found wasput out by an actual agency.
So I feel like that's a littlebit of a biased view, but it did
give me a lot of informationabout the process.
(34:05):
And they had surrogates on thathad been a part of the agency
that shared some of theirstories, and that got me to
understanding, like, oh, I thinkI would want an agency to help
me with this.
And then it was mostly my ownresearch after that, just
comparing different agencies.
I don't even think I found likethe big Facebook agency review
group until after I had alreadyselected one.
(34:29):
But I feel like that there's onein particular, I feel like is a
fairly safe place to findreviews of agencies.
But I I kind of just had to domy own digging and researching
around because I feel likethere's a lot of bias out there
if someone is representing anagency, works for an agency.
(34:52):
Um there's a lot of people thatare independent as well, but I
feel like their stories are alittle bit harder to find.
SPEAKER_05 (34:58):
Yeah, agreed.
SPEAKER_00 (35:00):
Totally agree.
I think if I had to say onething, it my advice would be to
get perspective, and I thinkthat goes hand in hand with
research.
I think research is the obviousanswer, but I didn't get a lot
of perspective, and I think Ijust got super dang lucky with
(35:22):
the agency that I ended upconnecting with, and that
journey was just beautiful inevery way, but I really did very
limited research.
I had very specific questions, Igot those answers, I found
someone I could trust, and Ilearned what I needed to in
order to go on to the next step,and I felt good about it along
(35:46):
the way, and I I still feel goodabout it now, but not everyone
is super thorough, and they theymay just look for the one
resource, you know.
And there's going back to mycomment earlier about how every
clinic kind of has their own,they're enabled and empowered to
(36:08):
make make their own decisionsand use their own discretion.
There really isn't aone-size-fits-all answer to just
about anything out there thatwhen you're researching.
So, perspective, I think, isimportant to know kind of the
the age range and kind of thetimeline example, you know what
(36:31):
I mean?
And the differences in medprotocols that might be out
there and the perceptions thatare out there.
And, you know, it's not youcan't necessarily just have one
source answer a set ofquestions.
You got, you know, gotta lookaround a bit.
And those Facebook groups, man,I have a love-hate relationship
(36:55):
with them, and I'm sure we alldo.
There, there's a lot of hate forme than love, but there's a lot
of perspective to be had,realizing, man, this girl had uh
SCH, and I didn't know what thatwas.
And this girl had a ectopicpregnancy, you've never heard of
that.
This girl had a successfulpregnancy on the first attempt,
(37:20):
and that's amazing.
And oh, that doesn't happen veryoften, and like without even
ever getting involved, you know,without commenting, about you
can letting any emotions fly.
Yeah, just observing otherpeople's journeys is incredibly
educational.
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (37:39):
Oh, yeah, it is.
I agree, and those I've I'veI've joined more of those
Facebook groups, and uh well,side note, I was banned from
commenting.
Not really sure what I said.
That was horrible.
I don't think anything.
I just I'm sure you are.
No, I just but I've seen well,I've seen some Facebook groups
not appreciate the podcasteither, and that's totally fine.
(38:01):
And you that's okay.
That's okay.
But so um I have a love hate.
I yeah, okay, I have a love-haterelationship because for that
aspect, I do see a lot of girlslike, but a lot of them are
anonymous, which is veryinteresting to me.
A lot of people postanonymously, and I'm like, ooh,
it's I'd be afraid becausebacklash will be really mean to
them, which like makes me sadbecause I'm like, oh, don't
(38:21):
hide.
Like, I would like to let youknow I'm thinking of you all the
time.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, but I get it.
So maybe not be that confidentthat yeah, no, but it is very
educational because I've learneda lot of things from a bunch of
these groups, like, oh my gosh,this happens.
Like, yeah, didn't didn't knowthat that didn't know to look
out for that, didn't know thatthis thing.
So it's um yeah, if you're inthe Facebook groups and you
(38:43):
don't comment, I think there'sno harm.
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
It's good perspective too about those
agencies.
Grace, like you were saying,that there are some Facebook
groups that are like that's allthey talk about is these agency
uh experiences of thesedifferent agencies and these
perceptions, these growingperceptions that are out there
about certain agencies, andwhat's a red flag and what's a
green flag, and you know, ifyou're just Googling, you're not
(39:58):
getting any of that.
SPEAKER_04 (39:59):
No, yeah, no, you know, right, because Google like
shows you, oh, here's the topreviews, and it's like, oh okay,
but I want to know your crappyreviews.
I want to know why people don'tlike you.
Like, that's how I look atthings.
I'm like, why do you have onestar?
Why?
Yeah, what is this for?
I don't care if you only havelike three one stars, that might
be it for me.
Like it's yeah, so interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (40:21):
Yeah, I'm with you.
SPEAKER_04 (40:22):
Yeah, very good insight.
Okay, so how has being asurrogate?
I think we already answeredthis.
How has being a surrogate shapedwho you are today?
Actually, no, we haven't.
It's just kind of more aboutidentity.
So, how has being a surrogateshaped who you are today?
SPEAKER_01 (40:39):
Or do we have the heavy questions?
Wow.
Sorry, Grace.
It's just it's just a part ofwho I am.
It definitely has taught me tohave patience.
SPEAKER_04 (40:55):
To well, I was a pretty patient person already,
but even more so, um I wouldhave never guessed, by the way,
Grace, with your demeanor andeverything.
Would have never guessed thatyou were calm and patient.
SPEAKER_01 (41:07):
To trust the process, like some things in
life, I'm very much a like finda way kind of person.
Um, but this is not a thing thatyou just find a way.
You you have to trust theprocess, trust your body, take
care of your body to be able todo the things that it needs to
(41:27):
do.
Um ask questions if you needmore information or don't
understand something all theway.
Um, but just patience first andforemost.
I and again, that was alreadypart of who I was, but I feel
like it's something that I makeeven more of me now.
(41:50):
I get that.
SPEAKER_04 (41:54):
For me, I oh go Kylie, go.
SPEAKER_00 (41:59):
Uh I was just gonna say I'll I'll answer as as
humbly as I I can.
Being a surrogate, I think, hasenabled me to just harness the
passion that I have found beinga surrogate and empathizing so
deeply with other surrogates,it's it enabled me to really um
(42:26):
leverage my strengths and thisentrepreneurial spirit that I
have and kind of bundle all ofthat together and pour back into
the surrogacy space, even afterkind of closing that chapter as
an active surrogate.
And I have the My Mom is Braveis one of four books that I have
(42:50):
out there.
I lead a monthly support groupfor surrogates from all over the
country.
I've started a program calledSend a Friend, where a newly
first-time delivering surrogatecan reach out to us and we send
an experienced surrogate in herarea over to her so that she
feels a sense of comfort andcommunity and validation from
(43:13):
somebody that totally knows whatthat's like being in postpartum
recovery as a surrogate.
Um I've I have a number of anumber of other ideas and ways
that I still plan to contributeand grow on all that, you know,
that foundation.
And yeah, I feel like all ofthat is, I mean, that's not just
(43:33):
a phase, you know what I mean?
That's of that's a part of ofwho I am, and um, and I'm still
going.
SPEAKER_06 (43:40):
It's allowed you to grow as an individual.
Yeah, that's really it's reallycool.
SPEAKER_04 (43:44):
Kylie, we're gonna ask you back for the tell all.
unknown (43:48):
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (43:49):
Okay.
Send a friend.
Heck, that's awesome.
Yeah, that's really cool.
SPEAKER_00 (43:55):
There's over 400 volunteers from all over the
country.
Holy cow, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_06 (44:00):
Just hearing about this.
SPEAKER_00 (44:02):
Uh am I blind?
Okay.
I am really the only place thatit is advert.
I'm there's uh I have a websitethat's where you would go to
request a friend or tovolunteer.
But the only place that I reallylike advertise it and hype it up
is in a number of differentFacebook groups.
(44:22):
Okay.
Um, I mean it's been effectiveso far.
SPEAKER_03 (44:26):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (44:27):
Yeah.
What's the website?
SPEAKER_04 (44:28):
That way people can know because they're gonna kill
me if I'm gonna want to go.
SPEAKER_00 (44:31):
That surrot life.com forward slash send dash a dash
friend.
SPEAKER_04 (44:34):
Okay, it'll be in the show notes.
You'll just send it to me andI'll put it in the show notes.
unknown (44:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (44:39):
Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, there's a volunteer inalmost every state.
That's very cool.
SPEAKER_04 (44:44):
That's super cool.
Wow.
It's been cool.
I don't even want to give myanswer now.
SPEAKER_00 (44:49):
And you know what?
Give your answer.
Now that we're in November, it'sum it's officially a year old.
Yay! Wow, congratulations.
Thanks.
It is Sunday friend's birthdaythis month, and I just realized
that on your podcast.
SPEAKER_04 (45:06):
That's amazing.
Wow, that's a very cool thing.
Yeah, I'm shocked we're just nothearing about it, but wow.
Okay.
Amazing.
Um, I forget my question.
I'm like so mesmerized, but howhas it shaped you?
Well, Ellen, how has it shapedyou?
Um you've had 20 years to beshaped.
SPEAKER_06 (45:25):
I've had 20.
Yeah.
Um a little more confident as anindividual, I think.
I mean, I I had always beensomewhat confident, but always
was the status quo.
Like, I'm not gonna rock yourboats, I'm not gonna like go
against the man, I'm not gonnano, because that's how I was
raised.
You're a yes person.
And once I got into this field,yeah, no.
I started standing up for myselfa little bit more.
(45:46):
I started voicing myself alittle bit more, not in a
negative way, in a positive way,um, and advocating for others,
which is what we do here.
So I it has and it has allowedme to really see just the need.
Like back when I was doing it,really, guys, it was same-sex
(46:09):
couples that that's who neededthe help, really, because
infertility wasn't really talkedabout a whole lot back then for
same-sex, I mean forheterosexual couples.
So it's opened my eyes and it'sbe it's made me become a little
bit more, no, a lot moreappreciative.
And and in the healthcareindustry that I'm in, I see it
all the time.
So yeah, just it's opened myeyes.
It's and I like that aspect ofme.
(46:31):
I like that that I I've alwaysbeen empathetic, but even way
more empathetic being asurrogate.
SPEAKER_00 (46:37):
I love that confidence answer.
Trouble's real.
Yeah, love that.
SPEAKER_06 (46:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (46:42):
And I would say I well, I would say it's built my
confidence for sure.
100% I can see it.
I was a mom at 20, I was a momyoung, and then I went on to
have other people's babies.
And then I was like, ooh, to allmy 20s, I was pregnant.
So no partying for me, juststrictly business.
Um, but no, it it's definitelybuilt my confidence and my not
(47:05):
that I was ever again, not thatI was ever not confident.
I was I always acted like I wasconfident, but now I feel
confident.
Right.
And then it was um advocatingfor myself and for others, like
definitely like settingboundaries and being like, yeah,
no, that's a that's a hard,that's a hard pass for me.
Um, but also I was trying tothink of the word, and the only
(47:25):
thing that can come to my mindis vocabulary.
And what I mean by that is, youknow, growing up, people are
always like, When are you guysgonna have babies?
When are you guys gonna havebabies?
And shockingly, me and myhusband are constantly being
asked right now, when are youguys gonna have babies?
And it's like, okay, well, I wasjust diagnosed with an
autoimmune disease, and so likeI'm still trying to like process
on how that would look for likemy future of getting pregnant
(47:46):
and things like that.
And so it's like a hugevocabulary in the sense of we're
not gonna ask people whenthey're gonna have babies, we're
not gonna pry into their lives,we're not we have no idea, like
also respect.
Well, right, exactly.
Respect, but like my sister'scoming on the podcast and she um
she reached, I didn't know this,which she just told me, but she
uh has PCOS, that's and that'sshe's gonna talk about that, and
(48:10):
like you know, we as a family wekind of like never really talked
about like fertility situationsbecause mom is so fertile, so
like obviously that gene's gonnapass down, right?
Like and then I'm here poppingout babies for other people, so
clearly it it passed down.
So it was just um it's it's justlearning to have respectful
(48:30):
conversations or just like nothave the conversation with
somebody else and what's goingon in their personal life.
Like, yeah, I think a lot ofpeople just think that they have
the right to ask, and maybethey're not thinking, oh, it's
my right to ask, but it kind ofcomes across that way.
It's like we don't need to askthese questions.
There's a lot of hurt that'sbehind some of these, and so
(48:54):
it's definitely opened my eyesto a whole new world of just
women's strength and men'sstrength because men go through
fertility problems as well.
SPEAKER_03 (49:06):
Totally agree.
SPEAKER_04 (49:07):
Yeah, that's that's my little thing.
Um let's see.
Chat GPT is my new BFF, by theway.
I love it.
SPEAKER_00 (49:19):
Yeah, mine too.
I call it chat BFF.
SPEAKER_04 (49:23):
I love it.
Well, okay, ladies, so lastquestion: what does being a
retired surrogate mean to younow?
SPEAKER_06 (49:33):
What is go ahead, Grace?
Job well done.
SPEAKER_04 (49:36):
Job well done.
SPEAKER_06 (49:37):
Job well done.
SPEAKER_01 (49:38):
It means I always have a great story to tell when
I'm meeting someone new or likeat a dinner party.
I love it.
Definitely have a conversationbreaker and uh conversation
starter, and it it is a coolstory to tell.
Like when you go to those twotruths and a lie type icebreaker
(50:02):
thing, it's like I I havesomething good to put in there
now that is an actual amazingpart of my life.
SPEAKER_04 (50:09):
And it's a truth, and people are gonna be like,
that's a lie, like absolutelyhow funny that's funny.
SPEAKER_00 (50:16):
Yeah, I I think it's it's just such an integral part
of my identity, and Iacknowledge the retired part so
proudly, you know, it's it'ssomething I was super ready for
and proud of what I've donealong the way, proud of what
(50:37):
I've done post, you know, andyeah, and I'm I'm not I'm not
done.
Just because you're not caringanymore doesn't mean the
opportunity to stay close to theindustry and to advocate for
other surrogates and to educateand to you know stay educated
(50:57):
and stay involved.
All of that is still there.
I agree.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (51:03):
Mom.
SPEAKER_06 (51:04):
I I just I look at this at a huge accomplishment.
Huge accomplishment.
There are three families outthere that are thriving because
me and my family decided that wewere gonna help.
And those children, I see thejoy that those children and a
lot of them are adults becausehonestly, people have been did
this decade.
They're all adults.
They are, aren't they?
Is the last yeah, the last oneis.
Yep, the last one is.
(51:24):
Yep, they're all adults.
So they're now gonna go on.
Like we were just talking, I'llprobably be invited to weddings
for crying out loud, like andget birth announcements.
Like this is bizarre.
Yeah, I just uh yeah, it's it'sincredible.
Sometimes I can't believe we didit, and I do mean we, the my
entire family was involved whenwe did it.
Um, and I I can't believe itsometimes.
(51:45):
It's like Grace said, it's avery cool story.
When I pop out there that, ohyeah, carry triplets.
People go, What?
Yeah, and you just kind of stopthem in their track and you go,
Yeah, it's a story, and it is.
SPEAKER_04 (51:57):
I no to I was gonna say, to be fair, that's the
story I pull out as well.
I'm like, Yeah, my mom hadtriplets, like it's my story
too.
SPEAKER_06 (52:04):
Yeah, you were involved.
I mean, you were old enough tounderstand.
Our story, yeah, right, and it'sgone on to do a lot.
I mean, I've gotten a uh notthat Kenny and I never had a
relationship, we've always had arelationship, but this is where
we've connected the most, andthen to collaborate on a book
together and then to continuethis podcast for four years, and
to it's just a lot of stuff thatI never knew was going to
(52:26):
happen, but it's all positive,and we all need more positivity
in our life, right?
So bring it on, bring it on, youknow?
So yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (52:35):
And Kylie, you said something earlier, and I like it
a lot because a lot of there'slike a lot of like um negative
connotation I hear from otherpeople when they're like, I
don't want to be a retiredsurrogate, I don't like saying
that I'm retired.
And you said I'm not an activesurrogate, and like really, once
a surrogate, always a surrogate.
You're just not an activesurrogate, like you're not
really retired, like grace isstill in it, you're still in it,
(52:56):
my mom's still in it, likepeople are still in it.
We're not done.
Like just because we're notcarrying, we're just not like
actively carrying a baby, butwe're giving to the community,
so we're all still surrogates.
SPEAKER_00 (53:10):
I have started using the term, especially in the
sendophrine language, everythingthat has to do with cendifhren.
I have referred to a retiredsurrogate as a surrogate
emerita, which an emerito islike I've graduated with honors
and I've gone on to do theseother things and like give this
impact.
(53:32):
So I would, yeah, that's that'sthe term that I've I love it.
I've used pretty often surgateemerita.
I love it.
SPEAKER_04 (53:41):
Well, thank you, ladies.
This was such a beautiful, abeautiful part one.
Yeah, no, Kylie, we woulddefinitely love to have you back
because like what we we wouldlove to hear your stories for
four journeys.
That's I'm sure there's lots ofstories.
SPEAKER_03 (53:55):
I'm all about it.
Awesome.
Well, thank you, ladies.
Thank you, Grace.
Thank you, Kylie.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, have a great evening.
Yes, you too.
Hi, ladies.
SPEAKER_06 (54:08):
Wow, that was fun.
That was fun.
SPEAKER_04 (54:11):
Did you feel like you could like you could relate
more in this?
SPEAKER_06 (54:14):
Oh, like I could contribute with that one.
I was like, oh, I am kind of,yeah, because I still am in it
20 years later.
It's like, oh wow, you're justnot active.
SPEAKER_04 (54:22):
Like you're just not like an active surrogate.
But even that, you're stillactive because you're no agreed,
but yeah, yeah.
But that's really cool.
I really like all that.
And the send a send a friend.
SPEAKER_06 (54:33):
That that probably's a unique little situation.
That has to come back.
We have to we have to get her ona one-on-one, a two-on-one, and
and and in yeah, interview her.
That would be fun if she'swilling to come back.
SPEAKER_04 (54:44):
So yes, yeah, amazing.
Well, thank you, Grace andKylie.
Thank you guys are foreversurrogates.
So um, if anybody has anyquestions or stories they would
like to share, please feel freeto reach out to us on Instagram
at stop periodsit periodsurrogate, or you can email us
at stopperiodsitperiod surrogateat gmail.com.
SPEAKER_06 (55:03):
So it's been another edition of Stop Sit Surrogate
Friday Facts with Kennedy andEllen.
Thanks for joining.
Bye.
Bye.
SPEAKER_04 (55:10):
Before we wrap up, we want to give a huge thank you
to our sponsors, NorthwestSurrogacy Center, New York
Surrogacy Center, Paying ItForward Surrogacy, and Serene
Surrogacy Partners.
Their continued support helps usshare real stories that educate
our community and connectfamilies through the incredible
journey of surrogacy.
(55:32):
Thanks so much for tuning in toStops at Surrogate, where every
story matters and every journeyis worth sharing.
We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_06 (55:40):
If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a
like and subscribe.
Also, check out the link to ourYouTube channel in the
description.
And be sure to also check outour children's book, My Mom Has
Superpowers, sold on Amazon andEtsy.
Welcome.
We are a mother-daughter podcastabout all things surrogacy.
Together, we have brought eightbeautiful babies into this
world.
And we would like to sharethrough education and knowledge
about surrogacy with those whowant to educate themselves on
the topic.
This is Stop, Sit, Surrogate.
(00:20):
Have you ever thought aboutgrowing your family but aren't
sure what your options are?
Or maybe you're someone whowants to help others experience
the joy of parenthood?
That's where Northwest SurrogacyCenter comes in.
Northwest Surrogacy Center is afull service surrogacy agency
that guides intended parents andsurrogates through every step of
the journey, with compassion,transparency, and personalized
(00:42):
care.
From matching to legal supportto emotional wellness, they make
what can feel an overwhelmingfeeling to be human and
supported.
Whether you're consideringsurrogacy to grow your family,
or you're ready to become asurrogate yourself, Northwest
Surrogacy Center is there towalk beside you every step of
the way.
Visit NorthwestSurrogacyCenter.com at NW at
(01:05):
SurrogacyCenter.com to learnmore and take the first step
towards something trulylife-changing.
Northwest Surrogacy Center.
Love makes families.
Hi everybody, welcome back toStopsit Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Today we have a lovely FridayFacts.
(01:26):
This is gonna be a three-parterbecause so many girls want to
talk about being a retiredsurrogate.
So this is part one, and we havea seasoned voice with us and a
fresh voice.
So uh Grace, do you want tointroduce yourself real quick?
SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
Sure.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm Grace.
I am a retired two-timesurrogate in California.
SPEAKER_04 (01:50):
Okay, perfect.
And Kylie, would you like tointroduce yourself?
SPEAKER_00 (01:55):
Yeah, I'm Kylie.
I am a retired four-timesurrogate.
And I'm a from just outside ofTulsa, Oklahoma.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04 (02:06):
Oh my gosh, you beat us, girl.
Yep.
We're only threes.
Wow.
Four.
Wow.
Yeah, four times.
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (02:14):
Um, and then mom, your retired surrogate.
Three time surrogates, sevenbabies total, right?
Seven?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I lost count.
Maybe it's six.
I can't even remember.
Triplets, twins, a single.
What is that?
Three.
That's six.
Sorry.
Seven.
SPEAKER_00 (02:28):
I gotta count every time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (02:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:31):
Plus your own, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (02:33):
But right, that's nine.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of babies.
A lot of babies.
Okay, well, um, I guess I'm justgonna start with like the like
the elephant question, right?
Did you lady well, did youladies choose to retire, or were
you kind of like told thatyou're done, this is it?
SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
Go ahead, Grace.
I think I chose to retire.
I feel like I could pursue anadditional journey, from what I
understand.
It wouldn't be able to be in theUS because I've had four
C-sections now.
So I think the the ACOGguidelines say that you can only
(03:17):
have um four C-sections max.
You like can't pursue a journeyafter that, and that's in the US
though.
So I've been told that I couldpursue outside of the US in
Canada, but I just feel like atthis point in my life, I'm gonna
be 41 this month.
So I feel like I've had such agood run.
(03:38):
I ended on such a beautifuljourney, and I don't want to
push it and tempt any challengesthat could come.
So I think it would be best justto close that chapter.
SPEAKER_04 (03:50):
And totally, totally fair.
And you've had the you've hadthe time to kind of like
mentally prepare for that aswell, right?
SPEAKER_01 (03:58):
Yeah, well, I knew going into my last pregnancy
that it likely would be the end.
It was our third transfer, andour contract called for three,
and I I didn't know if I wouldmatch after that, so I just I
really went into it thinkingthat it was gonna be the end.
(04:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:20):
Okay, okay.
How about you, Kylie?
I you know, I went into thethird journey thinking it was
gonna be my last one, and duringthat recovery process, I thought
this is just who I am now, let'sjust do another one.
And I remember thinking abouthalfway through that journey
(04:42):
that when I do retire and I likefind myself in that, you know,
post-surgacy world, I reallywant that to be my decision.
I don't, I really don't want aclinic to decide that for me or
an agency to say that I need tohang up my hat.
You know, I wanted to be the oneto make that decision.
(05:05):
So I just hope that everythingwould just continue going as
seamlessly and flawlessly as ithas been, and I would get the
opportunity to make thatdecision for myself.
And um, and I did.
I have a, I feel like I havethis one little caveat though,
that like I have a follow-up, myannual visit with my OBGYN, and
(05:29):
I feel like I want to ask her,like just for fun, you know,
like, hey, if I wanted to,hypothetically, would you
approve it?
You know, because if she saysyes, then I could be like, okay,
great, then it's like solid 100%my decision to retire and to be
done.
But I feel like if she tells me,like, I love you, but if you
(05:53):
really wanted to do it again, Iwould tell you no, then you
know, yeah, that's true.
So pending that nightmare,there's I I've made the decision
myself.
And I feel like after four, youknow, I have two boys, my own
two children, and then foursurgees, one of them that was
(06:16):
twins.
I've very proudly put my bodythrough so much and my mind
through so much with everypostpartum recovery journey that
I just got to a point where Iwas so happy and so at peace and
so content with just this is thelast one, and I'm I'm done now.
Yep.
(06:37):
There you go.
SPEAKER_06 (06:38):
That's the way to retire from anything.
You want to do it.
Yeah, yeah, no, your on yourterms.
Yeah, when I did it, it was 40was the cutoff, and I got
pregnant when I was 40 with thelast surrogate baby, so I was
forced out.
But I have a couple women in mysupport group that are uh 41 and
42, and they're still doingright.
I I long time ago, this was 20years ago, right?
(07:00):
Yeah, 20.
I've been retired for 20, Ithink it is.
Yeah, yeah, 20.
20, 38.
No, 18.
Sorry.
Oh my god.
No, I'm trying to think howold's the old yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's 18.
It's eight.
Isn't it 18?
Don't ask me.
SPEAKER_04 (07:13):
I was not the time deep.
SPEAKER_06 (07:16):
It's been a while, but I know the triplets, so I
don't know, I don't know the.
Yeah, I know that after theafter the so it was yeah, and I
got pregnant at 40, and I waslike, this has gotta take, this
has gotta take, because I gottado this one.
And then I wasn't, I didn't geta choose to do another one.
But had I had they let me, Iwould have done another one.
One more.
I would have 100% done one more.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
Yep.
And I kind of feel like, youknow, we all say, and not
everybody's gonna agree withthis, and that's totally okay,
but we all say, like, oh, myagency said that I I should be
done, or this clinic that westarted did this journey down
with didn't approve me, and soI'm gonna hang up my hat.
(07:56):
There are guidelines out therethat all of those clinics work
hard to abide by.
Every single one of them isenabled and empowered to make
their use their own discretionand make an exception where they
think an exception isappropriate.
Just because one clinic says youdon't fit the box that we're
needing a circuit to fit indoesn't mean that another agency
(08:18):
won't absolutely read throughyour records and give it some
discretion and be totally okaywith giving it a shot.
Yeah.
So it's really up to thecircuit.
SPEAKER_06 (08:31):
Agreed.
unknown (08:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (08:32):
Back then it was just a hard 40.
That's it, no exceptions.
Sure.
No ifs, sounds or buts about it.
SPEAKER_04 (08:37):
Sorry, I can't imagine your doctor being like,
yes, Ellen, you have died twiceon the table.
Um, you have had two C-sections.
I 100%, yeah.
You're you're a great candidate.
SPEAKER_06 (08:48):
Are you on your mind?
It was three sections, Csections, so I could add another
one.
unknown (08:53):
Three.
SPEAKER_06 (08:54):
I it's it was three, was the guy right back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you.
That was three.
SPEAKER_04 (08:58):
But like the dying two times probably makes up for
the third.
That's kind of a big deal.
Whatever.
A little bit.
I'm still here.
I know.
I'm just saying.
I just I don't know if yourdoctor would I'd be interested
to know if you don't haveapproved you.
I think you would have.
Really?
I do.
Very interesting.
That's okay.
That's possible.
SPEAKER_06 (09:17):
That ship has sailed.
SPEAKER_04 (09:18):
We can't.
No, I know, I know, I know.
Moving on, moving on.
So, okay, so um, I mean, a lotof things that I hear about, you
know, I I have friends.
I have friends that are retiredsurrogates, and it's always been
like uh I know maybe I becauseI'm also I'm gonna start this
over.
I'm also like mentally like, amI like was this it?
(09:39):
I got 10 more years in me.
Like I'm I don't want to bedone, but like who knows, like
once I go on and have my own,like my my own keepers and
things like that, like ifsomething's going to disqualify
me later on.
So it's really like messing withmy mind, like, wait, hold on,
maybe that was it.
Maybe I am done.
Like this is what's my identitynow?
(09:59):
I think that that's a lot ofpeople, a lot of surrogates who
have done this especially morethan once, where they're like,
Well, who am I then?
If I'm not having babies forother people, who am I?
Which is a wild it's wild tothink, but also not.
So how did you guys cope withthat?
(10:20):
Or did you not think like that?
SPEAKER_01 (10:23):
I did think like that, and I feel like this year
has done a lot to help me decidewho I am now, and I still
forever want to be attached tosurrogacy.
Like I'm still an advocate forsurrogacy.
I'll talk to anybody all daylong about surrogacy.
(10:44):
I'm still very much in touchwith my intended parents.
It's still a big part of my lifeand takes up a lot of space in
my mind still.
Um, but I got I got a promotionat work right after I had my
last surrogate baby, and thatwas a pretty big deal for like
(11:06):
shaping, okay, like this is whoI am now, and and now I'm gonna
get really fit and live my bestlife, and then I'm gonna get a
tummy tuck and like start thisnew chapter of my life where I'm
done having babies and doing allthese other things that I've
always wanted to do.
And then I got pregnant,surprised with my own baby a few
(11:28):
months ago, and andunfortunately we lost the baby,
but that just kind of has openedthis new like, is this a new
part of my life that I want topursue?
So I feel like I'm stillfiguring all of that out.
SPEAKER_04 (11:42):
Yeah, I'm sorry, Grace.
I know.
My heart's with you, girly.
I know, mine too, honey.
SPEAKER_01 (11:48):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_04 (11:49):
But for sure, I mean we say it all the time, right?
Just because you're a retiredjury.
I mean, heck, my mom retiredwhat, 20 years ago, you said?
Yep, something like that.
So still still loves it to thisday.
You know, gotta be gotta be inthe community.
It's just it's a great communityto be a part of.
Kylie, did you feel this?
Like, did you go through thesame kind of like motions, like
(12:10):
mentally?
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
I feel like on delivery day, at the end of
surrogacy number one, I wasabsolutely sold that this is,
you know, outside of motheringmy own two children, this is the
most fulfilling thing I've everdone.
I absolutely want to do itagain.
(12:32):
And then I kind of took it, youknow, journey by journey after
that.
And I think each time it justsolidified more and more that
like this is a part of who I am,and I'm so passionate about
this.
And I enjoy the conversationswith skeptics, and I will
absolutely advocate for surgatesand surrogacy wherever I can.
(12:56):
And and none of that has to stopwhen the journey stops.
So I've been fortunate enough tostay involved and uh, you know,
give back in different ways inthe industry, and and so far, so
good, and I still have a lot ofwork ahead of me.
(13:17):
And um, so yeah, short answers.
Um I absolutely learned that itwas, you know, a part of who I
am, and there's always ways thatI'm still involved.
SPEAKER_04 (13:30):
Yeah.
And you can continue to beinvolved.
That's what that's the beauty ofthe community, right?
Yeah, yeah.
We're not like we're gonna kickyou out.
No way.
Everybody, once you're here, youstay.
SPEAKER_06 (13:39):
You're so tied to there's life out there because
of you.
Like that, that's huge.
That's how do you just turn thatoff?
Yeah, I mean you don't.
SPEAKER_00 (13:48):
You don't.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I I brought seven babiesinto this world, you know.
Amazing.
Good for you.
Yeah, wow.
SPEAKER_04 (13:56):
What geez, you're right there with my mom.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Holy cow.
Yeah, when you when you werecounting earlier, I I counted
real quick in my head.
It was like, yeah, that's right.
There you go.
Wow.
SPEAKER_06 (14:07):
Kind of like hard to believe.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00 (14:09):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (14:09):
But it's like you said, it's it's very, it's a
very fulfilling thing.
Like it's I think that's likethe perfect word for it because
a lot of people are like, oh,like you're not we're not gonna
like dive into this, but like,you know, like, oh, it's you're
not selfless or whatever doingsurrogacy because US surrogates
get compensated.
But like, let's just take thatout of it.
It's fulfilling.
It's yeah, it's a calling.
SPEAKER_06 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Whoever you believe, yep, highercalling.
Not everybody can do it.
SPEAKER_04 (14:37):
Did you go through those mental emotions though,
mom?
SPEAKER_06 (14:40):
Oh, 100%.
Now there's way more work waymore uh avenues for people to be
involved, right?
Now there's podcasters, peoplecan work for surrogate agencies.
There's like that was such asmall niche back then.
Like even if you wanted to workfor an agency, there no way in
heck could you work for one?
Like you had to either own it orknow the owner.
It wasn't happening, and therewasn't that many agencies.
(15:01):
You got to think about it thatway, too.
They just what do you want tocall that?
Fireworks.
They just became rampant whenpeople were like, Oh, there's
such a need.
Um, or we can offer this and wecan offer that.
But I I really think I put it onthe back burner.
Like, I again I was forced outbecause of age, I wasn't ready,
wasn't ready.
So there was a lot of mindplaying going on there with me.
(15:23):
It's like, well, what do I donow?
Hold on a second.
So I went back to school andbecame a nurse.
Like that was like, how do Ihelp?
How do I help?
Yeah, was my that was myrationale for okay, that was my
answer.
That's how I'm helping.
And then when Kennedy came upwith the idea, hey, do you want
to do this and talk about it?
I'm like, oh heck yeah, I thinkit took me five seconds to say
yes, you know, and it was like,oh, oh, it we can still talk
(15:46):
about it.
Oh, okay.
I still have something to offer.
So yeah, I I don't think I'llever be done with it.
I'll probably be on my deathbedand be going, yeah, like, hey.
SPEAKER_00 (15:57):
Yeah.
You put in the last five to tenyears.
I mean, what you compare theindustry in the last, you know,
five, six, seven years to whatit was 20 years ago, and it's
totally different.
I mean, there's twice as manyagencies that there's people
thinking outside the box as tohow they can get involved in the
industry and support circus andsupport intended parents.
(16:17):
And yes, and there's justamazing.
I mean, it's it and and you lookat the industry outlook for
circusy and IBF, and it's justit's only up from here.
It is correct.
Yeah, it's crazy.
SPEAKER_04 (16:31):
It's uh yeah, it's a lot.
It's it is a lot, and even likejust like a couple years ago,
like from my from my thirdjourney to me starting my fourth
journey, which was only like ayear and a half, so much has
changed.
Like insurance laws have changedand everything.
And I'm like, what?
It is a lot, it's like a wholenew world.
(16:52):
And I just did it like a yearbefore I trying to do my fourth
one.
So I was like, what is going on?
And uh this just shows you thatone science comes so well
science has come so far, whichis so great.
But then also now people arestarting to like open their ears
and be like, wait, how can wenickel and dime everything in
this aspect of it?
Like, how can we get the mostout of it and like or protect
(17:14):
themselves and show or protectthemselves, right?
Right.
There are there are goodprotections now.
Yes, I was being cynical, butyes.
I know you are.
I read you, girl.
I read you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
There's I mean, there's truth to to that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:26):
Yeah, yeah.
Um, okay, so how did surrogacychange your guys' outlook on
motherhood or family?
SPEAKER_00 (17:37):
Oh my gosh, I'll start with that one.
Yeah, I I started my ownmotherhood journey feeling
grossly unprepared because I wasmy husband and I were, you know,
20 and 21.
We were very young and weren'tyet married.
(17:58):
And I remember the one feeling,the overwhelming feeling that I
felt the second my firstborn sonwas put on my chest was
responsibility.
This overwhelming feeling oflike this creature I just made
with my body is now existing,and I'm 100% responsible.
(18:22):
My husband and I are 100%responsible for this guy, you
know, and obviously thatblossoms into so many other
feelings pride and encouragementand attachment and all these
other things, but I rememberthis just overwhelming sense of
responsibility responsibility,and I I think that has just done
(18:43):
me a lot of good as a motherhaving that kind of foundation.
I've just um I feel like I'vedone well to really embrace
motherhood, and I love being amom so much, and the idea that
in the reality that some womencan't, if at no fault of their
(19:07):
own, right, get pregnant orsustain a pregnancy and how
prevalent that is, that justreally I mean it it truly opened
my eyes the first time I Icarried for another family, and
I thought, shoot, my husbandcould just look at me a certain
way and I could get pregnant,you know, and it's just never
been an issue.
So to think that it's not justan issue and like this hurdle
(19:31):
that somebody has to overcome,but it's physically impossible
for some.
SPEAKER_05 (19:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:35):
It's it just um it just blew my mind.
And I thought, man, if if all Ihave to do is be pregnant and
somebody else could go on toexperience motherhood, which is
amazing, then you know, sign meup is one of the easiest
decisions I've ever made.
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (19:55):
I wholeheartedly agree with that.
My I long story short, did thisfor same-sex male couples in the
beginning.
My this past journey alonetaught me so much about
infertility, which is wildbecause I've been doing the
podcast a lot longer than I wason my journey.
But being that close to someone,my intended mother, who just I
(20:17):
mean, m m money wasn't aquestion, so it made me sad
because I was like, this womancould literally buy anything in
the world.
She could buy a freaking castleif she wanted.
All she wants is a baby.
She can't, she can't, she can't,she can't do it.
She can't, and it crushed me andmade me just look at life in
such a different light and justbe just so just heartbroken and
(20:41):
like because you can alwaysunderstand, you always see
people's stories on Instagram oneverything, and you're like, oh
my gosh, like that's this isheartbreaking, like my heart's
with you, like everything likethat.
But when you're actually touchedby it by someone that you know,
it's like this completelydifferent look and appreciation
(21:02):
towards them and their battle.
It's oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:06):
Yeah, you get a whole different sense of empathy
being this closely involved, forsure.
Yeah, and you treasure yourgifts even more.
SPEAKER_04 (21:15):
Hundred percent provided, yeah.
We'll be right back.
But first, I want to take aquick moment to talk about
something close to my heart,helping families grow through
surrogacy.
If you've ever thought aboutbecoming a surrogate or if
you're an intended parent readyto start your journey, Paying It
Forward Surrogacy is here toguide you every step of the way.
At Paying It Forward Surrogacy,you're not just a number.
(21:36):
You're supported, celebrated,and connected with real people
who've walked this path before.
Whether you're just starting toexplore or ready to take the
next step, they'll make sure youfeel informed, empowered, and
cared for from day one.
Visit Payingit ForwardSurrogacy.com to learn more.
That's Payingit ForwardSurrogacy.com because every
journey to parenthood deservesheart, honesty, and the right
(21:59):
support.
Now let's get back to theepisode.
SPEAKER_06 (22:04):
For a lot of us, it is it was so easy.
And I hate even talking abouthow easy to get pregnant because
I don't want it to sound sodemeaning to those who are
having a tough time.
But that's one of the reasons Igot into it.
Uh yep, let's do this, let'shelp somebody else.
Yeah.
Wow.
Sad.
SPEAKER_01 (22:25):
I feel like my perspective's a little bit
different on that, just in thatI I only carried for one family
and it was a same-sex couple.
The reason that I got intosurrogacy to begin with was
because I had people in my life,namely women, that were
struggling with infertility andstruggling to create a family of
(22:47):
their own.
And I was like, oh, I I can helpsomeone.
I too get pregnant easily andhad great pregnancies.
So I would love to help somebodybe able to do that and to be
able to experience that againbecause I think as mothers,
that's such a a cool and uniquething that we get to do is to
(23:08):
carry children.
So that's why I got into it.
But getting matched with asame-sex couple taught me that
parenthood comes in so manydifferent forms.
And that really got driven homewhen my intended parents were
here last year when their secondbaby was born and they brought
(23:28):
their first baby with them.
She was three.
She just turned four a few weeksago.
But getting to watch them beparents with her was even more
fulfilling than actuallydelivering the babies and
handing them over, watching themactually be amazing parents and
(23:49):
explain things to her so thatshe understands and to spend
countless hours.
I do not know where these guysgot the energy to play on the
floor with their daughter forhours and hours and dance and
sing and do all the things, butthey are incredible parents and
and that makes me understandeven more that that really like
(24:14):
love is love and everybody thatcan give love deserves to have a
family.
SPEAKER_04 (24:19):
Agreed.
SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Yep.
Agreed.
SPEAKER_04 (24:21):
A hundred percent.
And I love the lessons that it'staught my son as well.
Like with it does not matter itdoesn't blood one, blood doesn't
make you family.
And two, there are a billiondifferent types of families and
parents and guardians andeverything like that.
And I've really enjoyed shteaching my son that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
I totally agree.
And I think there's so muchmore, even above and beyond
that, that our own kids get tobenefit from having been exposed
to the world of surrogacy andIVF.
And I mean, my sons have seen awoman be pregnant four times
now, you know, and they havelearned to care during those
(25:10):
times and to no mom can't liftthat.
And no, mom's probably not gonnarun right now.
And you know, mom's not feelingwell, and you know, they they've
learned to appreciate that andrespect that, and and also,
yeah, just the difference ofwhat a family could look like
and why somebody would need asurrogate, and it's not all
(25:31):
super easy, and there's lots ofdoctors and scientists involved,
and and also how to answer otherpeople's skepticism or
questions, you know.
Oh, your mom's pregnant.
Are you having a little brotheror sister?
Nope, my mom's a surrogate,she's caring for another family,
you know, and that's just awhole new set of strengths and
(25:52):
skills that they get to keep andbenefit from, you know.
SPEAKER_06 (25:57):
Yeah, I agree.
They be proud about, yep.
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
Yeah.
I speak from experience, Kylie.
I was very proud of that as asuring child myself.
SPEAKER_06 (26:07):
It's funny because I don't look at it as they were
proud of it.
I look at as they used it assuch a shock factor.
It was so different and was sonew back then, especially with
the trip, is you'd walk in andI'd be huge and we'd go and sit
and have dinner at a restaurant,and they'd go, Oh, another one
on the way, and all three ofthem, yeah.
No, they're not ours, andthere's three.
And you'd go, Okay, and youwouldn't know what they the
(26:28):
waitresses would not know whatto do with it.
And you'd be like, Oh, kids,come on.
Like they loved the shock valueof it.
SPEAKER_04 (26:36):
Yes, but as we got older, it's like an appreciation
to it.
It's like agreed.
If I didn't appreciate it, andif I wasn't proud of it, mom, I
would not have done three of myown journeys.
SPEAKER_06 (26:46):
I'm aware, I'm aware.
When you were eight, I didn'tsee the yeah, it's fine.
It was eight.
Okay, it's fine.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
My uh, my husband is all about the shock factor.
If somebody commented while wewere out and I was obviously
pregnant and they asked us aboutit, he would have he would be so
quick to say, Oh, it's not mine.
SPEAKER_03 (27:07):
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, so it's not mine either.
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_06 (27:12):
That's a great one.
Yeah, that's a cool one.
That's funny.
SPEAKER_01 (27:15):
Well, I know that my kids appreciated it, even if
they didn't say it themselves,because their friends would tell
me.
I remember there was a friendover when I came over, came home
from the hospital last year, andthey came into the living room,
and the friend said, You're asuperhero, Mrs.
Stewart.
(27:36):
Great job.
Oh, so sweet.
SPEAKER_04 (27:39):
And your kids are older, they're like teenagers.
So this friend was like ateenager.
SPEAKER_05 (27:43):
That's so sweet.
That's awesome.
Oh, you are a superhero, Grace.
You are.
Altering it's our ding dingding.
Oh, she's gonna get the book.
SPEAKER_04 (27:57):
Everyone's a superhero.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Yeah.
What is that?
SPEAKER_04 (28:00):
What's our book?
Is this?
Oh, this oh, Kylie, if you'reasking, I shall tell.
This is our children's book thatme and my mom wrote and
published about what, like ayear ago, mom?
A little over a year.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's called My Mom HasSuperpowers.
It's written from the point ofview of my son.
So there's like my kid in here.
Oh, well, those are the dads,but yeah, that's the little girl
(28:22):
that I that one of us carried orwhatever, you know.
It was fun.
SPEAKER_00 (28:26):
Oh, I love that so much.
On Amazon.
SPEAKER_02 (28:33):
Oh, you have what?
Wait, your mom is brave! Oh, Ilove it.
Oh my gosh, did you write that?
Yes, the idea of being asurgeon.
Okay, where can I buy yours,Kylie?
SPEAKER_00 (28:47):
Yeah, Amazon.
You just put my name in there.
SPEAKER_06 (28:50):
You just put your name in the search engine for
what, Amazon?
Amazon?
Okay, okay, got it.
I'm a little bit.
Where's yours?
Amazon.
Okay, good.
Etsy.
I think it's on Etsy too, right,Ken?
Yeah, Etsy.
SPEAKER_00 (29:02):
Is it both of your names on there?
SPEAKER_04 (29:04):
Yes, both of our names, but let's not do Etsy
mom.
That means I have to purchasemore.
All right.
I'm gonna write it down.
Amazon.
Oh, you your yours was My Mom isBrave.
Yeah, my mom is brave.
I'm gonna put it in the shownotes, Kylie.
I'll put it in the show notes.
Well, now I have to write abook.
SPEAKER_01 (29:20):
I feel left out.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Yes, Grace, you do.
It's it's uh, I mean, theformatting is the hardest part
of the whole thing, Grace.
SPEAKER_04 (29:28):
Oh God, tell me.
unknown (29:29):
Tell me.
SPEAKER_04 (29:30):
Now that Chat GPT is there, it probably will be a
little easier.
What chat GPT, we did not useChat GPT.
Me either.
SPEAKER_01 (29:38):
I don't know if it'll be a children's book,
though.
Maybe it will be like a slightlyhumorous adult point of view
book.
SPEAKER_06 (29:45):
There you go.
That that's needed.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (29:48):
Yes.
You know what I have observedthat I I think is needed?
A lot of surrogates appreciatethis kind of thing to use as a
tool and like introduce thatmine is.
Is just that to uh for asurrogate to use as a tool to
introduce the idea to theirchildren.
Yeah, intended parents want thesame thing they do to introduce
(30:09):
to their child that hey, there'sthis other one coming.
Yep via surrogacy.
There you go, like a second.
Put all that into a children'sbook.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (30:18):
I yeah, I would I I would think that someone out
there would write a book likethat.
We could do a sequel.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
We could do they have from our point of view, or
maybe there needs to be a bookfor the surrogate to introduce
this concept to their family.
So like the adults in theirlife, yeah, true, and and help
them understand.
Like maybe we have a little bitmore like scientific factors in
there, like a simple overview,and that would be a lot less
(30:45):
talking for the surrogate tohave to do.
SPEAKER_04 (30:47):
This is groups, just like carry the book around with
them.
And when people ask here, go go.
SPEAKER_00 (30:52):
I would love it if it was even children's book
style, and you were like,listen, yeah, here's what it is.
Yeah, they're round.
Here's some color pictures.
SPEAKER_04 (31:00):
Make it so basic.
Like kids can understand it,adults could understand it that
way.
Okay, we've de we've we'vecrowned Grace.
This is Grace.
This the Grace is gonna writethis book.
SPEAKER_01 (31:10):
My best friend is having another man's baby.
That's what I titled.
SPEAKER_06 (31:15):
Love it, love it.
Love it.
I'm with it.
I would buy it.
I'm having another man's baby.
Ooh, scandalous.
SPEAKER_04 (31:21):
Ooh.
Goodness.
SPEAKER_06 (31:24):
We're getting we're gettingness.
We needed that like 20 yearsago, no joke, because people, oh
that was the air my parents andtheir friends.
Oh my god, the the comments andlooks, and uh, I just had to
turn it all off.
And thank god there wasn'tsocial media or wasn't a whole
bunch of it back then.
That's true.
Because seriously, I would havebeen like laid out.
(31:45):
I I really would have by all oftheir friends, and especially
doing it for a same-sex couple.
Oh, God help me.
SPEAKER_03 (31:51):
I'm so sure.
SPEAKER_06 (31:52):
Yeah, my my parents were devoutly Catholic and just
not happening.
SPEAKER_04 (31:57):
Like I love grandma, grandma supported.
unknown (32:00):
Love her.
SPEAKER_06 (32:01):
She did.
She was one of the mainsupporters, but the the the flax
she got from her friends.
Oh, well, yes.
Yes, which too bad, so sad.
Sorry, you get what you get, youknow.
Love you.
SPEAKER_00 (32:12):
Yeah, and that's the attitude you kind of have to
have walking into it.
I know why I'm doing it.
Right.
That's the important part.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (32:20):
I really hope none of them listen to this, mom.
SPEAKER_06 (32:23):
How many are left?
Ellen!
SPEAKER_04 (32:28):
I can count them on two fingers.
Okay, we're moving on.
What advice would you give tosomeone considering being a
surrogate?
SPEAKER_01 (32:38):
Do your research is always my top one.
There's so much out there now,too.
So much so that I think you haveto be aware of where you're
getting your research from.
SPEAKER_07 (32:49):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (32:51):
I mean, like podcasts such as Stops It
Surrogate, that's a great placeto start.
unknown (33:00):
Great place to start.
SPEAKER_04 (33:01):
No, but like I because everybody comes on and
says research, right?
But I am curious, aside fromthis, aside from this podcast,
like did you ladies do research?
Like, did you find researchelsewhere?
Like, was it Facebook groups?
Was it Instagram?
Was it different podcasts,books?
SPEAKER_01 (33:18):
I watched a couple of, there were not a lot at the
time, but a couple of YouTube.
Like there were a couple ofwomen I found on YouTube that
had done journeys and kind ofdocumented it along the way.
Um I feel like maybe it justwasn't being fed into my
algorithm because I wasn't asurrogate yet, but I was not
finding a lot on Instagram atthe time.
(33:42):
Um most of it, like I just typedin, I started with I I literally
started with podcasts, likebecause I do a lot of driving
for work.
So I just typed in surrogacypodcast and started getting a
little bit of info.
The first podcast I found wasput out by an actual agency.
So I feel like that's a littlebit of a biased view, but it did
give me a lot of informationabout the process.
(34:05):
And they had surrogates on thathad been a part of the agency
that shared some of theirstories, and that got me to
understanding, like, oh, I thinkI would want an agency to help
me with this.
And then it was mostly my ownresearch after that, just
comparing different agencies.
I don't even think I found likethe big Facebook agency review
group until after I had alreadyselected one.
(34:29):
But I feel like that there's onein particular, I feel like is a
fairly safe place to findreviews of agencies.
But I I kind of just had to domy own digging and researching
around because I feel likethere's a lot of bias out there
if someone is representing anagency, works for an agency.
(34:52):
Um there's a lot of people thatare independent as well, but I
feel like their stories are alittle bit harder to find.
SPEAKER_05 (34:58):
Yeah, agreed.
SPEAKER_00 (35:00):
Totally agree.
I think if I had to say onething, it my advice would be to
get perspective, and I thinkthat goes hand in hand with
research.
I think research is the obviousanswer, but I didn't get a lot
of perspective, and I think Ijust got super dang lucky with
(35:22):
the agency that I ended upconnecting with, and that
journey was just beautiful inevery way, but I really did very
limited research.
I had very specific questions, Igot those answers, I found
someone I could trust, and Ilearned what I needed to in
order to go on to the next step,and I felt good about it along
(35:46):
the way, and I I still feel goodabout it now, but not everyone
is super thorough, and they theymay just look for the one
resource, you know.
And there's going back to mycomment earlier about how every
clinic kind of has their own,they're enabled and empowered to
(36:08):
make make their own decisionsand use their own discretion.
There really isn't aone-size-fits-all answer to just
about anything out there thatwhen you're researching.
So, perspective, I think, isimportant to know kind of the
the age range and kind of thetimeline example, you know what
(36:31):
I mean?
And the differences in medprotocols that might be out
there and the perceptions thatare out there.
And, you know, it's not youcan't necessarily just have one
source answer a set ofquestions.
You got, you know, gotta lookaround a bit.
And those Facebook groups, man,I have a love-hate relationship
(36:55):
with them, and I'm sure we alldo.
There, there's a lot of hate forme than love, but there's a lot
of perspective to be had,realizing, man, this girl had uh
SCH, and I didn't know what thatwas.
And this girl had a ectopicpregnancy, you've never heard of
that.
This girl had a successfulpregnancy on the first attempt,
(37:20):
and that's amazing.
And oh, that doesn't happen veryoften, and like without even
ever getting involved, you know,without commenting, about you
can letting any emotions fly.
Yeah, just observing otherpeople's journeys is incredibly
educational.
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (37:39):
Oh, yeah, it is.
I agree, and those I've I'veI've joined more of those
Facebook groups, and uh well,side note, I was banned from
commenting.
Not really sure what I said.
That was horrible.
I don't think anything.
I just I'm sure you are.
No, I just but I've seen well,I've seen some Facebook groups
not appreciate the podcasteither, and that's totally fine.
(38:01):
And you that's okay.
That's okay.
But so um I have a love hate.
I yeah, okay, I have a love-haterelationship because for that
aspect, I do see a lot of girlslike, but a lot of them are
anonymous, which is veryinteresting to me.
A lot of people postanonymously, and I'm like, ooh,
it's I'd be afraid becausebacklash will be really mean to
them, which like makes me sadbecause I'm like, oh, don't
(38:21):
hide.
Like, I would like to let youknow I'm thinking of you all the
time.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, but I get it.
So maybe not be that confidentthat yeah, no, but it is very
educational because I've learneda lot of things from a bunch of
these groups, like, oh my gosh,this happens.
Like, yeah, didn't didn't knowthat that didn't know to look
out for that, didn't know thatthis thing.
So it's um yeah, if you're inthe Facebook groups and you
(38:43):
don't comment, I think there'sno harm.
Yeah.
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(39:06):
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SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
It's good perspective too about those
agencies.
Grace, like you were saying,that there are some Facebook
groups that are like that's allthey talk about is these agency
uh experiences of thesedifferent agencies and these
perceptions, these growingperceptions that are out there
about certain agencies, andwhat's a red flag and what's a
green flag, and you know, ifyou're just Googling, you're not
(39:58):
getting any of that.
SPEAKER_04 (39:59):
No, yeah, no, you know, right, because Google like
shows you, oh, here's the topreviews, and it's like, oh okay,
but I want to know your crappyreviews.
I want to know why people don'tlike you.
Like, that's how I look atthings.
I'm like, why do you have onestar?
Why?
Yeah, what is this for?
I don't care if you only havelike three one stars, that might
be it for me.
Like it's yeah, so interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (40:21):
Yeah, I'm with you.
SPEAKER_04 (40:22):
Yeah, very good insight.
Okay, so how has being asurrogate?
I think we already answeredthis.
How has being a surrogate shapedwho you are today?
Actually, no, we haven't.
It's just kind of more aboutidentity.
So, how has being a surrogateshaped who you are today?
SPEAKER_01 (40:39):
Or do we have the heavy questions?
Wow.
Sorry, Grace.
It's just it's just a part ofwho I am.
It definitely has taught me tohave patience.
SPEAKER_04 (40:55):
To well, I was a pretty patient person already,
but even more so, um I wouldhave never guessed, by the way,
Grace, with your demeanor andeverything.
Would have never guessed thatyou were calm and patient.
SPEAKER_01 (41:07):
To trust the process, like some things in
life, I'm very much a like finda way kind of person.
Um, but this is not a thing thatyou just find a way.
You you have to trust theprocess, trust your body, take
care of your body to be able todo the things that it needs to
(41:27):
do.
Um ask questions if you needmore information or don't
understand something all theway.
Um, but just patience first andforemost.
I and again, that was alreadypart of who I was, but I feel
like it's something that I makeeven more of me now.
(41:50):
I get that.
SPEAKER_04 (41:54):
For me, I oh go Kylie, go.
SPEAKER_00 (41:59):
Uh I was just gonna say I'll I'll answer as as
humbly as I I can.
Being a surrogate, I think, hasenabled me to just harness the
passion that I have found beinga surrogate and empathizing so
deeply with other surrogates,it's it enabled me to really um
(42:26):
leverage my strengths and thisentrepreneurial spirit that I
have and kind of bundle all ofthat together and pour back into
the surrogacy space, even afterkind of closing that chapter as
an active surrogate.
And I have the My Mom is Braveis one of four books that I have
(42:50):
out there.
I lead a monthly support groupfor surrogates from all over the
country.
I've started a program calledSend a Friend, where a newly
first-time delivering surrogatecan reach out to us and we send
an experienced surrogate in herarea over to her so that she
feels a sense of comfort andcommunity and validation from
(43:13):
somebody that totally knows whatthat's like being in postpartum
recovery as a surrogate.
Um I've I have a number of anumber of other ideas and ways
that I still plan to contributeand grow on all that, you know,
that foundation.
And yeah, I feel like all ofthat is, I mean, that's not just
(43:33):
a phase, you know what I mean?
That's of that's a part of ofwho I am, and um, and I'm still
going.
SPEAKER_06 (43:40):
It's allowed you to grow as an individual.
Yeah, that's really it's reallycool.
SPEAKER_04 (43:44):
Kylie, we're gonna ask you back for the tell all.
unknown (43:48):
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (43:49):
Okay.
Send a friend.
Heck, that's awesome.
Yeah, that's really cool.
SPEAKER_00 (43:55):
There's over 400 volunteers from all over the
country.
Holy cow, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_06 (44:00):
Just hearing about this.
SPEAKER_00 (44:02):
Uh am I blind?
Okay.
I am really the only place thatit is advert.
I'm there's uh I have a websitethat's where you would go to
request a friend or tovolunteer.
But the only place that I reallylike advertise it and hype it up
is in a number of differentFacebook groups.
(44:22):
Okay.
Um, I mean it's been effectiveso far.
SPEAKER_03 (44:26):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (44:27):
Yeah.
What's the website?
SPEAKER_04 (44:28):
That way people can know because they're gonna kill
me if I'm gonna want to go.
SPEAKER_00 (44:31):
That surrot life.com forward slash send dash a dash
friend.
SPEAKER_04 (44:34):
Okay, it'll be in the show notes.
You'll just send it to me andI'll put it in the show notes.
unknown (44:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (44:39):
Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, there's a volunteer inalmost every state.
That's very cool.
SPEAKER_04 (44:44):
That's super cool.
Wow.
It's been cool.
I don't even want to give myanswer now.
SPEAKER_00 (44:49):
And you know what?
Give your answer.
Now that we're in November, it'sum it's officially a year old.
Yay! Wow, congratulations.
Thanks.
It is Sunday friend's birthdaythis month, and I just realized
that on your podcast.
SPEAKER_04 (45:06):
That's amazing.
Wow, that's a very cool thing.
Yeah, I'm shocked we're just nothearing about it, but wow.
Okay.
Amazing.
Um, I forget my question.
I'm like so mesmerized, but howhas it shaped you?
Well, Ellen, how has it shapedyou?
Um you've had 20 years to beshaped.
SPEAKER_06 (45:25):
I've had 20.
Yeah.
Um a little more confident as anindividual, I think.
I mean, I I had always beensomewhat confident, but always
was the status quo.
Like, I'm not gonna rock yourboats, I'm not gonna like go
against the man, I'm not gonnano, because that's how I was
raised.
You're a yes person.
And once I got into this field,yeah, no.
I started standing up for myselfa little bit more.
(45:46):
I started voicing myself alittle bit more, not in a
negative way, in a positive way,um, and advocating for others,
which is what we do here.
So I it has and it has allowedme to really see just the need.
Like back when I was doing it,really, guys, it was same-sex
(46:09):
couples that that's who neededthe help, really, because
infertility wasn't really talkedabout a whole lot back then for
same-sex, I mean forheterosexual couples.
So it's opened my eyes and it'sbe it's made me become a little
bit more, no, a lot moreappreciative.
And and in the healthcareindustry that I'm in, I see it
all the time.
So yeah, just it's opened myeyes.
It's and I like that aspect ofme.
(46:31):
I like that that I I've alwaysbeen empathetic, but even way
more empathetic being asurrogate.
SPEAKER_00 (46:37):
I love that confidence answer.
Trouble's real.
Yeah, love that.
SPEAKER_06 (46:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (46:42):
And I would say I well, I would say it's built my
confidence for sure.
100% I can see it.
I was a mom at 20, I was a momyoung, and then I went on to
have other people's babies.
And then I was like, ooh, to allmy 20s, I was pregnant.
So no partying for me, juststrictly business.
Um, but no, it it's definitelybuilt my confidence and my not
(47:05):
that I was ever again, not thatI was ever not confident.
I was I always acted like I wasconfident, but now I feel
confident.
Right.
And then it was um advocatingfor myself and for others, like
definitely like settingboundaries and being like, yeah,
no, that's a that's a hard,that's a hard pass for me.
Um, but also I was trying tothink of the word, and the only
(47:25):
thing that can come to my mindis vocabulary.
And what I mean by that is, youknow, growing up, people are
always like, When are you guysgonna have babies?
When are you guys gonna havebabies?
And shockingly, me and myhusband are constantly being
asked right now, when are youguys gonna have babies?
And it's like, okay, well, I wasjust diagnosed with an
autoimmune disease, and so likeI'm still trying to like process
on how that would look for likemy future of getting pregnant
(47:46):
and things like that.
And so it's like a hugevocabulary in the sense of we're
not gonna ask people whenthey're gonna have babies, we're
not gonna pry into their lives,we're not we have no idea, like
also respect.
Well, right, exactly.
Respect, but like my sister'scoming on the podcast and she um
she reached, I didn't know this,which she just told me, but she
uh has PCOS, that's and that'sshe's gonna talk about that, and
(48:10):
like you know, we as a family wekind of like never really talked
about like fertility situationsbecause mom is so fertile, so
like obviously that gene's gonnapass down, right?
Like and then I'm here poppingout babies for other people, so
clearly it it passed down.
So it was just um it's it's justlearning to have respectful
(48:30):
conversations or just like nothave the conversation with
somebody else and what's goingon in their personal life.
Like, yeah, I think a lot ofpeople just think that they have
the right to ask, and maybethey're not thinking, oh, it's
my right to ask, but it kind ofcomes across that way.
It's like we don't need to askthese questions.
There's a lot of hurt that'sbehind some of these, and so
(48:54):
it's definitely opened my eyesto a whole new world of just
women's strength and men'sstrength because men go through
fertility problems as well.
SPEAKER_03 (49:06):
Totally agree.
SPEAKER_04 (49:07):
Yeah, that's that's my little thing.
Um let's see.
Chat GPT is my new BFF, by theway.
I love it.
SPEAKER_00 (49:19):
Yeah, mine too.
I call it chat BFF.
SPEAKER_04 (49:23):
I love it.
Well, okay, ladies, so lastquestion: what does being a
retired surrogate mean to younow?
SPEAKER_06 (49:33):
What is go ahead, Grace?
Job well done.
SPEAKER_04 (49:36):
Job well done.
SPEAKER_06 (49:37):
Job well done.
SPEAKER_01 (49:38):
It means I always have a great story to tell when
I'm meeting someone new or likeat a dinner party.
I love it.
Definitely have a conversationbreaker and uh conversation
starter, and it it is a coolstory to tell.
Like when you go to those twotruths and a lie type icebreaker
(50:02):
thing, it's like I I havesomething good to put in there
now that is an actual amazingpart of my life.
SPEAKER_04 (50:09):
And it's a truth, and people are gonna be like,
that's a lie, like absolutelyhow funny that's funny.
SPEAKER_00 (50:16):
Yeah, I I think it's it's just such an integral part
of my identity, and Iacknowledge the retired part so
proudly, you know, it's it'ssomething I was super ready for
and proud of what I've donealong the way, proud of what
(50:37):
I've done post, you know, andyeah, and I'm I'm not I'm not
done.
Just because you're not caringanymore doesn't mean the
opportunity to stay close to theindustry and to advocate for
other surrogates and to educateand to you know stay educated
(50:57):
and stay involved.
All of that is still there.
I agree.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (51:03):
Mom.
SPEAKER_06 (51:04):
I I just I look at this at a huge accomplishment.
Huge accomplishment.
There are three families outthere that are thriving because
me and my family decided that wewere gonna help.
And those children, I see thejoy that those children and a
lot of them are adults becausehonestly, people have been did
this decade.
They're all adults.
They are, aren't they?
Is the last yeah, the last oneis.
Yep, the last one is.
(51:24):
Yep, they're all adults.
So they're now gonna go on.
Like we were just talking, I'llprobably be invited to weddings
for crying out loud, like andget birth announcements.
Like this is bizarre.
Yeah, I just uh yeah, it's it'sincredible.
Sometimes I can't believe we didit, and I do mean we, the my
entire family was involved whenwe did it.
Um, and I I can't believe itsometimes.
(51:45):
It's like Grace said, it's avery cool story.
When I pop out there that, ohyeah, carry triplets.
People go, What?
Yeah, and you just kind of stopthem in their track and you go,
Yeah, it's a story, and it is.
SPEAKER_04 (51:57):
I no to I was gonna say, to be fair, that's the
story I pull out as well.
I'm like, Yeah, my mom hadtriplets, like it's my story
too.
SPEAKER_06 (52:04):
Yeah, you were involved.
I mean, you were old enough tounderstand.
Our story, yeah, right, and it'sgone on to do a lot.
I mean, I've gotten a uh notthat Kenny and I never had a
relationship, we've always had arelationship, but this is where
we've connected the most, andthen to collaborate on a book
together and then to continuethis podcast for four years, and
to it's just a lot of stuff thatI never knew was going to
(52:26):
happen, but it's all positive,and we all need more positivity
in our life, right?
So bring it on, bring it on, youknow?
So yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (52:35):
And Kylie, you said something earlier, and I like it
a lot because a lot of there'slike a lot of like um negative
connotation I hear from otherpeople when they're like, I
don't want to be a retiredsurrogate, I don't like saying
that I'm retired.
And you said I'm not an activesurrogate, and like really, once
a surrogate, always a surrogate.
You're just not an activesurrogate, like you're not
really retired, like grace isstill in it, you're still in it,
(52:56):
my mom's still in it, likepeople are still in it.
We're not done.
Like just because we're notcarrying, we're just not like
actively carrying a baby, butwe're giving to the community,
so we're all still surrogates.
SPEAKER_00 (53:10):
I have started using the term, especially in the
sendophrine language, everythingthat has to do with cendifhren.
I have referred to a retiredsurrogate as a surrogate
emerita, which an emerito islike I've graduated with honors
and I've gone on to do theseother things and like give this
impact.
(53:32):
So I would, yeah, that's that'sthe term that I've I love it.
I've used pretty often surgateemerita.
I love it.
SPEAKER_04 (53:41):
Well, thank you, ladies.
This was such a beautiful, abeautiful part one.
Yeah, no, Kylie, we woulddefinitely love to have you back
because like what we we wouldlove to hear your stories for
four journeys.
That's I'm sure there's lots ofstories.
SPEAKER_03 (53:55):
I'm all about it.
Awesome.
Well, thank you, ladies.
Thank you, Grace.
Thank you, Kylie.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, have a great evening.
Yes, you too.
Hi, ladies.
SPEAKER_06 (54:08):
Wow, that was fun.
That was fun.
SPEAKER_04 (54:11):
Did you feel like you could like you could relate
more in this?
SPEAKER_06 (54:14):
Oh, like I could contribute with that one.
I was like, oh, I am kind of,yeah, because I still am in it
20 years later.
It's like, oh wow, you're justnot active.
SPEAKER_04 (54:22):
Like you're just not like an active surrogate.
But even that, you're stillactive because you're no agreed,
but yeah, yeah.
But that's really cool.
I really like all that.
And the send a send a friend.
SPEAKER_06 (54:33):
That that probably's a unique little situation.
That has to come back.
We have to we have to get her ona one-on-one, a two-on-one, and
and and in yeah, interview her.
That would be fun if she'swilling to come back.
SPEAKER_04 (54:44):
So yes, yeah, amazing.
Well, thank you, Grace andKylie.
Thank you guys are foreversurrogates.
So um, if anybody has anyquestions or stories they would
like to share, please feel freeto reach out to us on Instagram
at stop periodsit periodsurrogate, or you can email us
at stopperiodsitperiod surrogateat gmail.com.
SPEAKER_06 (55:03):
So it's been another edition of Stop Sit Surrogate
Friday Facts with Kennedy andEllen.
Thanks for joining.
Bye.
Bye.
SPEAKER_04 (55:10):
Before we wrap up, we want to give a huge thank you
to our sponsors, NorthwestSurrogacy Center, New York
Surrogacy Center, Paying ItForward Surrogacy, and Serene
Surrogacy Partners.
Their continued support helps usshare real stories that educate
our community and connectfamilies through the incredible
journey of surrogacy.
(55:32):
Thanks so much for tuning in toStops at Surrogate, where every
story matters and every journeyis worth sharing.
We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_06 (55:40):
If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a
like and subscribe.
Also, check out the link to ourYouTube channel in the
description.
And be sure to also check outour children's book, My Mom Has
Superpowers, sold on Amazon andEtsy.
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