September 28, 2025 • 67 mins
#surrogacy
#ivf
#surrogate
Liz’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizzzlooobes?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Dive into the raw, unfiltered journey of Liz, a three-time surrogate who brings a unique perspective as both a surrogate mother and a fertility clinic medical assistant. Her story takes us through the highs of creating families for others and the lows of failed transfers and loss, all while maintaining remarkable positivity and resilience. Liz's path to surrogacy began unexpectedly while working in fertility medicine, where she gained invaluable knowledge about the process before embarking on her own surrogate journey. She shares candid insights about agency selection, describing how finding the right support system made all the difference after a disappointing first experience. What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Liz's willingness to discuss the aspects of surrogacy rarely talked about in public forums. From the dramatic moments during delivery when her surrogate baby wasn't immediately breathing, to the emotional devastation of a miscarriage while on vacation, to the hurt when an intended parent failed to check in after a loss. These honest revelations provide a window into the complex emotional landscape surrogates navigate. Despite experiencing seven medical cycles in three years and multiple setbacks, Liz's enthusiasm for surrogacy remains undiminished. Her advice to those considering becoming surrogates is beautifully simple yet profound: "Just do it." This episode captures the essence of surrogacy as not just a medical process but a deeply human connection requiring communication, empathy, and resilience from all involved. Whether you're considering surrogacy, are an intended parent, or simply curious about alternative family-building paths, this conversation offers authentic insights into what the journey truly entails beyond the medical procedures and legal agreements. Connect with us on Instagram @stop.sit.surrogate or email stop.sit.surrogate@gmail.com to share your own stories or questions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome.
We are a mother-daughterpodcast about all things
surrogacy.
Together, we have brought eightbeautiful babies into this
world and we would like to sharethrough education and knowledge
about surrogacy with those whowant to educate themselves on
the topic.
This is Stop Sit Surrogate.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hi everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with
Kennedy and Ellen.
Hey everybody, welcome back toStops it Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Everybody Today we are welcomedby a surrogate.
I'm so excited.
We've talked online, but now weget to talk in person a little
bit.
So do you want to introduceyourself?
Hi, I'm Liz.
Hello Liz, are you Californiabased or are you like East Coast
(00:46):
?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I california-based, I'm in san diego, yeah, any
first time, second time, thirdtime, um, so I've done three
journeys, um wow, yeah yeah, wow, girl.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
How'd you find out about surrogacy?
Let let's start with that.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
So I actually work in the fertility field.
I'm a medical assistant.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
And.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I worked for a fertility office and I actually
never crossed my mind likesurrogacy never crossed my mind
until I started working there.
I did a lot of monitoringpatients, so I did a lot of
blood draws and ultrasounds forthem and one of the girls was
just like, oh, you know, I'm asurrogate and um, the IEP is
(01:32):
flying me out first class andthis and that, and um, she would
just tell me like everythingevery, every time she would come
in.
We'd have like this really longconversation and and um, one of
actually one of our patientsthe couples they asked if I
would be interested in beingtheir surrogate.
And yeah, and it was.
(01:54):
It was totally random because Ijust had this surrogate.
And then the couple asked andthen, um, so I talked to my
husband and my husband was like,yeah, you know what?
Like I'm, I'll support youwhatever you want to do, and so
I had told her yes and she endedup actually getting pregnant on
her own.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Oh well, good for her .
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, but that's it, huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, that's.
That's a very cool way to getinto this, the fact that you
work in the industry.
Well, what?
The fertility industry?
That's cool.
That, but the fertilityindustry, that's cool.
That was always something Iwanted to do, so that's.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
You already have a heads up on what's needed and
what's like.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
You already do half of it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A little bit more knowledge on the terminology.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean, it was totally different because at the
clinic that I was working at atthe time I was just doing basic
stuff, like just blood draws,and then maybe helping like in a
procedure every now and thenmaybe helping like in a
procedure every now and then.
But then, like once I startedmy journey, I quit and I went to
another fertility office and atthat office I did everything.
(02:54):
So I've done everything fromlike retrievals, the
hysteroscopies.
I've done transfers.
I started with our patientsfrom A to the very last step
till graduation day.
So I learned, definitelylearned, a lot there.
It's I love the field.
It's it's unfortunate field,but it's so rewarding at the end
.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Right, agreed but that's so cool, that's I would
love to be.
I would love to be in yourposition when being a surrogate,
like because when people, whenpeople talk to me in the
fertility world, like you know,when I pop into the office and
they're like this and that, andI just go, whatever you say, I
agree, whatever.
(03:34):
Yeah, the fact that you know it, that's gotta be.
That's just huge on your part.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, it's cool.
Sometimes it's kind of a badthing because, like so, I yeah
I've done three journeys, butunfortunately I've only had one
successful birth, yeah.
And so, like, just within thejourneys and seeing the
ultrasounds, I'm like, oh no, Iknow what's wrong.
Like this is, you know,subchorionic or it was a
(04:03):
miscarriage or this or that, andyeah, okay, so pluses and
minuses for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that though.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
So what do we talk?
Are we going to discuss all ofthem, or are we just talking
about the which one?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I mean, we can Okay.
So then I'm open to everythingI love surrogacy, I love
fertility, I love goodeverything about it okay great,
okay, so then let's just go backto what?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
to what we just talked about.
Right, the um, how the sparkstarted.
So the spark now started.
And how, where do you go?
Because now she's pregnant onher own, yay for her.
So where do you?
What, what, what now?
What are your steps?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
So, um, I started looking up agencies around the
area and I had found one and Ium signed up or did everything
that I, I matched, I, um, I metthe.
I didn't meet the couple, but I, I zoomed them and then, um, we
had like a, so their, theirprocess was different.
They, I zoomed them and thenimmediately they put me in a
(05:07):
chat with them, right off thebat.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah, With the intended parents yeah, before
you're medically cleared.
And everything or no Beforeeverything?
Yeah, that's risky.
That's risky, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And and so they were a great couple.
I love them, but the agency wasjust not good.
Okay, there was a lot ofmiscommunication, there was, um,
a lot of things that were likenot going right and it kind of
sucked.
So I I ended up breaking offwith that agency and that couple
(05:42):
, okay, um, but they were sosweet and I and I still wonder
till this day, like if they everyeah, you know got pregnant or
or had a baby, I know it's hardhow many years
ago was this yeah, this was in2022.
Oh, that's when I started, yeahokay, you're, you're fresh yeah
(06:03):
wow, okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
So it's kind of not at the end of pandemic, kind of
like, yeah okay yeah yeah, 22.
Okay, so you break with them.
Do you find another one or doyou go yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I did so.
Then I found another agencyhere in San Diego.
Um, actually they're inCarlsbad and they're like super
amazing, just total 360 from youknow.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Oh great.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I love them and I'm still working with them till
this day.
They've been, they've done allof my journeys and I just.
They're so great, they're socommunicative.
They're communicative, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
You said it right to me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
They, they're just, I mean mean, everything about
them is just great.
And then the founder, she's um,she actually lives down the
street from me.
No, way.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, that's funny yeah meant to be.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, for sure okay, so, um, so you found them, and
then you are like, hey, I wantto be a surrogate and I'm
assuming that their processmight be a little bit more, um,
ethical, normal stream, yeahright yeah, so they, um, they do
, you know, the screening andthen they do the match process
(07:20):
and then they do medical recordsthe medical clearance, and then
they'll do records the medicalclearance, and then they'll do
um the medical clearance, site,background, legal and then
transfer okay okay okay, and sowhen it came time, I'm just
curious you don't have to answerthis, but I'm just curious did
you know, going in like kind oflike an idea of who you want to
(07:42):
match with, like you know,domestic or international, same
sex, like, not same sex, singlelike did you?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
did you care?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
you have a wish list.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, yeah so when I, when I first did it, I didn't
because I I didn't have a lot ofknowledge right um, so I was
just kind of open to whateverand, and I know, they did send
me some international profiles.
But then, I think, after I sawthe international I was like, oh
, maybe someone stateside wouldbe better, okay, um.
(08:13):
So then they did send me twoprofiles to be um review and
there was a couple in Ohio andthen um a couple in Texas, and
we picked a couple in Texas tointerview and we had it all.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I like that, that they sent the profiles to you.
And then once you liked one,they sent your profile to them.
Or were you both looking at thesame time?
Do you know?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Um, to be honest, I think I don't know, but what I
think they do is that they putmy profile out there and then,
whenever an IP shows interest,they reach out to me, okay okay
yeah, makes sense, that wouldmake sense is that not how
everybody does it though?
No no, everybody's different, Iknow yeah, yeah like some,
(08:56):
sometimes like I've yeah, like
Speaker 2 (08:58):
sometimes um like my mom.
Well, you can speak foryourself.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Go ahead, mom yeah, they just gave me couples Like I
got the first couple, the firstone, the next couple on the
list, that's who I got.
We didn't connect, we didn'tnothing.
It was horrible.
They wanted to buy a baby andthey did.
That's all.
In my journey on on the podcast, yeah, second one, I got a
little bit more wiser and I said, hey, I want to see more
profiles.
And they and I kept asking.
I think I saw six and itfinally landed on the couple and
(09:25):
I have an excellentrelationship with them.
Now, that's because I was ableto help pick third one.
Nope, I didn't get to pick themeither.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
So, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
So it's helpful that surrogates get to have a have a
say in it, cause if you, ifthere's a red flag in there and
you're like oh God, no, I can't,I can't, you shouldn't have to
go with them just becausethey're the next on the list,
right?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
yeah, which I don't think.
A lot of agencies, I don'tthink any of them do that
anymore.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Most of them don't do it anymore, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I know they really try to get, they really
try to their matching person,really tries their hardest to
get it, like the first time.
But yeah, and then mine wassimilar to hers, almost copy
paste, I got to.
I got to look at my second oneand that's the one that I have a
relationship with, whereas likethe first one, luckily we just
worked out like it was great.
But my first two wereinternational and I think I want
(10:16):
someone domestic now because Ididn't get to like really be a
part of a journey with somebody.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
So yeah yeah it's definitely different, for sure.
I mean like the relationshipsare different, but yeah and they
can come to more stuff too.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Typically right, yeah you don't have to worry about
the time difference being 12hours ahead or something like
that, like you're not sleepingand they're awake, like that's.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
That's a lot yeah, it is it is yeah, especially on
transfer day.
It's so like nerve-wracking,like are they up all night, like
what are you doing right?
Exactly like let me send youthis picture.
Let me facetime you, but it'slike one o'clock in the morning,
right, yeah, pretty much it'slike.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I'll just tell me in the morning.
It's like my morning or yourmorning okay yeah, yeah, okay.
So, um, so you got to matchwith with a couple in texas, and
when did you guys get to likemeet in person?
I'm curious, was it beforetransfer?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
um, so we actually didn't meet in person until like
the week before delivering wow,and they're stateside.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
How did you feel about that?
Were you you okay with it like?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
um, it was fine.
I mean I I would have liked forher to be there more, um, but I
mean they were in texas andthey they have a restaurant in
texas.
Oh, that's busy.
You know they were kind of busy.
And yeah, I mean I understand,it's sure I I would um send her
pictures all the time and, youknow, text her updates all the
time.
So I mean it was fine.
(11:44):
And when we met, we met at a,at a restaurant here in carlsbad
for breakfast, and, um, when wemet it was like we've known
each other forever yeah, that'sreally nice, that's cool oh,
that's perfect.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Was this their first baby?
That?
They were yeah, oh, that's sofun.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Did you know the sex before I did?
It was a little girl oh yeah sodid.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
First did the first um transfer take it did not, it
did not no, and she only had twoembryos and um her the first
one didn't take, so that was alittle nerve-wracking right yeah
, that's yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
So they also because okay.
So then that answers my otherquestion, which was how many did
they put in?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
but they only put in one so how, how, how far between
were the transfers?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
do you remember the months like how, um the first
one was, uh, the middle of june,june 23rd okay on my husband's
birthday actually, yeah and thenuh, so that one failed and then
the second one was september1st wow, that's quick yeah, that
is quick oh that's a lot of ivfmeds on you, yeah yeah, it's
(12:58):
pretty rough and within the lastthree years I've done a total
of like seven cycles seven medcycles.
Are you like bruised like?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
well, not now, but oh my god, I'm assuming a lot of
them were injections.
Yes, actually I've done nine.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, because I did two, two retrievals for myself
in between.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
You did, I did yeah, wait, okay, can we elaborate
just a little bit were youdonating, or were they for you?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
no, for myself.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Look at you I don't think I've ever, we've ever have
not to a surrogate, that'sthat's for herself yeah yeah, is
there anything behind that mom?
You're getting so personal it'sokay, super young like you,
(13:50):
wouldn't need to do that unless,yeah, maybe whether it helps
scare or something, but gosh no,we just um.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I mean my husband and I have been together for six
years.
We haven't had any kids.
I mean I have one and he hasone none together, okay, but
since I work in fertility, weget like one free cycle, so
we're like let's just do it.
Yeah, cool, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I need to go over to that, that's cool yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Anybody needing coverage apply, oh my gosh,
that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah, that is super cool, okay, that makes sense.
That's super cool, okay, thatmakes sense.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
All right, that's very cool, it is so.
Second transfer takes Mm-hmmAny.
Is it smooth sailing?
Are there hiccups along the way?
Because you said you know whatthe ultrasounds look like and
all of that.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So, at that time I didn't know I didn't switch over
to the other clinic where I wasdoing a whole bunch until I was
like four or five months old,ok, ok, yeah, but the transfer,
the second transfer, was smooth.
The HCG was a little bit on thelow side, it was like 64, I
think.
Ok, we were kind of likenervous but yeah, it was
doubling, it went up and good,good, good, but yeah, it was
(15:09):
doubling, it went up and good,good, good, she's here, yeah
right.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
When was she born?
She was born may of 23 of 23.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Oh wow, she's two, she's, yeah, she's two.
So cute.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah, oh my gosh, how'd the?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
delivery go wait mom, stop it you're joking.
You want to ask.
What do you want to ask?
How was your whole pregnancy?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Oh, I did ask that.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, I thought you were referring to the beginning,
but like you know, like did youhave any?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
like weird or happy things, yeah, so I hadn't been
pregnant, and so my son is 14now.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh my God, you have a 14 year old.
There's no way.
What is happening?
I so my son is 14 now.
Oh my God, you have a14-year-old there's no way.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
What is happening?
I need your skin regimen.
I can't.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I was picturing you saying that you have like a
nine-year-old or something, ohno, 14?
.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, he just turned 14 this year, so my last
pregnancy was in 2011.
Wow, and so it was 2011 to 2023, yeah, and, but it was the
pregnancy.
Honestly, it was amazing.
Like I didn't feel like I waspregnant first of all.
(16:17):
It was just so like the best,it was so perfect.
That's awesome, yeah, and it'sum, I, I, yeah.
There was nothing that Icouldn't complain about.
I did have cravings to likevinegar.
Oh, how random.
Yeah, like I wanted a lot oflike vinegar, um, not pickles,
(16:38):
but like pickled beets, or umlike ginger, uh, yeats, or um
like ginger, uh, it just likethat vinegary taste.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, like I think, likethe last month before I
delivered, um the shower waterand I don't know what it was you
like the flavor.
(16:59):
I like the taste of it.
I wouldn't I wouldn't drink it,but I like the taste of it.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
That's funny it's probably clean yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I always got clean water and some and in your area
yeah yeah, yeah and then I think, the only thing so I'm a big
like steak eater, I love steak,um, but I couldn't eat steak
throughout the pregnancy I hadlike a steak aversion.
And then, um, I think, likebarely like two months ago, it
(17:31):
started coming back to where Iwas like okay, I want me, you
know and it's been two yearsyeah that's weird.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, I've had similar things I I used to eat
eggs all the time before I waspregnant with my son.
While I was pregnant with myson, I can't eat an egg to this
day, and I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
She's like I wouldn't mind that aversion.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Yeah, oh my gosh that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Ok, so, ok.
So now go ahead, mom, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Well, no, so now she's, is it.
Is it a couple yeah that you'reOK?
Is it a couple yeah that you'rehere before?
Okay, so they're here the weekbefore delivery.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And are you induced or is it natural?
So I was induced, okay.
So let me go back a little bit.
So with a pregnancy, besidesfeeling great like my husband
loved me while I was pregnant,he wants me pregnant all the
time because I'm so much nicerto him.
Oh, my gosh, how funny.
(18:29):
I'm so nice, I'm so loving, I'meverything that's cute.
But anyways, it must be justwith the girl, though only girl,
oh, okay, yeah you would thinkit'd be the opposite then right,
yeah, I think I tell him like Ithink I have a hormone
imbalance and the baby maybejust balanced me because I was
(18:50):
so happy, like could be what isdepression or what is anxiety,
I'm so happy, but okay.
So then for delivery, I wentinto an appointment like the
last week, the 39 weekappointment for the NST testing
and the first appointment, Ithink, was like Monday and my
(19:14):
they were saying that my fluidwas a little bit low, okay, and
so they made me hydrate and thenthey checked the fluid and it
was fine, okay.
I was like barely at the, atthe fine line I think it had to
be like at a four or five orsomething like that.
So they sent me home and then Icame back Thursday for a second
(19:34):
check and that day she saidthat my fluid was really low, so
they sent me to the hospital tobe induced.
Yeah, and it was crazy, cause Iremember I was just looking at
the shirt that I was wearingthat day um I I called my
husband in the bathroom, Istarted crying and he was like
what's wrong?
And I'm like I'm just gonnahave a baby today and I'm so
(19:57):
scared like I haven't had a babyin 12, 13 years, like what's
gonna happen, wow.
But, um, when we ended up goingto the hospital, they admitted
me um, they, they did like theballoon and that I think out of
the entire pregnancy, delivery,everything postpartum, the
balloon was the really worst ohyuck thing I have ever
(20:23):
experienced in my life like, canI ask and this might be TMI,
but like pressure wise was thatlike what it was for you?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
it?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
it wasn't pressure, it was just uncomfortable.
To be honest, I don't even knowhow to explain it it was just
bad, it just felt like that ohno, I get it.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I get it.
It's not pleasurable at all.
It's not, especially if youdon't have an epidural yeah, and
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Okay, I didn't have one um, but they did the balloon
and then, um, I think when theytook it out, I was like at a
two or a four.
Yeah, I didn't do very much.
So Ips were there but they werelike running around doing some
(21:13):
stuff because, you know, theydidn't want to be at the
hospital for two days.
And then, I think, like thenext day, who told them it would
be two days?
No, well, I mean, they werestaying like next door, okay,
but um but they were just likedoing stuff, like outside the
hospital waiting for me to tellthem to come.
(21:33):
Oh, okay, yeah.
But the night that I actuallydelivered, the nurse said like,
hey, you might want to get IPsin here, because it looks like
you're going to start pushingaround one.
So I let her know um, I'm gonnastart pushing around like one
o'clock.
So then, um, my husband wasthere and I was with kaiser, and
so they only let two people inand it kind of sucked, because I
(21:55):
wish the dad was there wait,even with this kind of situation
, they're not nice no, all right.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Well, that's kind of messed up.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Wait, wait you're not in a surgical room, you're like
in a normal nursing room.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
That's weird, okay, because you said 2022, may, no,
no, no, 2023.
2023?
.
So no, it wasn't a COVID thingeither.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
No, it's their protocol only to people, because
even now, like so, I worked forkaiser for a couple months, um,
just recently, and that'sthat's like their protocol only
to people, regardless of thesituation okay really that's a
shame.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, that's very sad .
The mom was in the room then.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yeah, the the mom was yeah, okay, all right, and so
then I started pushing at likeone in the morning, and then she
was there.
She was holding my leg and myhusband, and when she came out,
Sorry, still no epidural.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
You're like powering, oh no yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I did get the epidural oh my goodness.
No, yeah, yeah, I did theepidural.
I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, I did.
Okay.
No, I wanted to have a naturalbirth, but no, I don't think so.
I had a c-section with my son.
You went to v-back and I didhave a v-back v-back.
It was successful.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah surprises well, but you're.
You're what?
12, 13 years apart?
So yeah they're usually likesure yeah, you're healed, you're
fine, like that's a long enoughtime wow yeah, good for you.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Congrats on that one.
Absolutely thank you.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I know I'm so proud of that too, yeah that's awesome
.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Okay, sorry, so she's there, she's in the room yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So she's in the room, um, and uh, so she comes out
and they put her like on me, oh,and they're cleaning her up,
but she, um, like, wasn'tbreathing I guess.
Oh my gosh, she, she was kindof blue, um, but I don't, I
don't know if it was a sit, Ididn't.
I don't know if they knew thatthe baby was not breathing when
(24:01):
she came out, because the nikkiteam was was in there.
Oh yeah, they had everythingset up.
So I don't, they didn't tell me, they didn't tell her, they
didn't tell anybody.
Wow, oh, and my um.
I know I didn't say this, butmy IPs were Chinese, okay oh,
okay yeah, so, um.
So the baby came out, she wasn'tbreathing, um.
(24:22):
So they took her.
She cut the cord, mom cut thecord, they took her to the
little incubator and they weretrying to get her to come back
or cry, and then we just heardthat.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Oh, thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, it was just such a relief.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Sorry, is that normal to have the NICU team in there
for a baby delivery?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
No 39 weeks.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I don't think so.
They knew.
They had to have known.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Yeah, was the cord wrapped around her neck?
No, I wonder if her cells wentdown, like if she was, you know,
d-cell?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Yeah Right, it was dipping the last hour, but they,
but they never like, made itseem like it was an issue
because right once I had acontract once that my
contraction stopped, it would goback to normal.
Okay, so, like they, they weresaying she was in distress, but
it wasn't like in distress, likeemergency.
Yeah, um, they let me push,yeah, let me push her out.
(25:25):
And I mean, they never made itseem like it was a nine one.
One thing yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
But since she's already in the pelvic canal and
you're already, you know, 10centimeters and you're pushing,
so it's better to just get herout than to try and go in and do
a C-section.
If she wasn't, if there wasnothing on the monitor, right,
then that becomes that diresituation.
But they were still gettingsomething, obviously.
But good for them to have theNICU in there, right, yeah, and
not to panic you, because that'sthe last thing you need when
(25:51):
you're a baby yeah, yeah, thatwas that was.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
It was kind of scary like at that moment, but then it
was.
I remember looking at the momand and, um, the mom was like,
is she okay?
And I was like, yes, like she'sfine.
And then, um, you know, likethey took her and she was still
holding on to my hand, she wascrying like she was panicking
and um, yeah, when we heard thebaby cry, I was like go to your
baby.
Like you know, go go see yourbaby like that's yours, like go
(26:19):
take care of her.
And yeah, when they, when they,when she started crying, like
immediately they took her theytook her and mom.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
So good, and then did they get to go meet up with dad
yeah, um, you know what?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
I don't know right, yeah, they're probably going to
the NICU, so maybe he was goingthere, who knows?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
gonna go there yeah yeah so then after I delivered,
um, I didn't, I didn't talk tothe ips until like the next day.
Oh yeah, until the next day inthe evening, oh wow, yeah they
didn't even check on you well,no, because I think there was
(26:58):
just so much going on with thebaby, yeah, and and um, so they
moved me downstairs to therecovery, okay, and then.
So I was there and then mycoordinator came with dad.
Um, you know, they brought mesome flowers and I was like, oh,
how's the baby?
(27:18):
And he was just so grateful,like, oh my gosh, liz, like sory
, and and it was, it was just soemotional, right yeah, I'm like
how's the baby?
and he said, like she's fine,like she's in the NICU.
She has to stay for a coupledays, but she's good, good good,
good, did you know her weight?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
did they give you all , like the 9-1-1s, all the info?
The 4-1-1, excuse me, 9-1-1,not an emergency she was 22
inches.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah, yeah, she was long.
Yeah, um, she was six pounds.
Okay, that's good, that's agood size, yeah, but she was so
tiny, like I mean she was longand it was funny because her
feet were like scrunched upbecause she was so long and she
never even looked cute yeahshe's so adorable, so fun,
that's so sweet my mom's likeare you sure that's not your
(28:10):
baby?
Because you looked chinese whenyou were born.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Oh my gosh so do you get to hold her before you leave
the hospital or no, becauseshe's in the NICU?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
yeah.
So then okay.
So then I stayed overnight thenext day.
So then the following day I was, I was uh, discharged, okay,
and you know I texted mom like,hey, do you mind if I come down
to see the baby?
And so she said yeah.
So then we went down to theNICU and the baby was under my
last name, so it was baby, ohlee, yeah, instead of their last
(28:48):
name, um, and so I went down, II let them know, which was kind
of weird because I I told herthem her last name and then they
were like no, and then I waslike, but I just got discharged,
what do you mean?
The baby's not here likethey're so good you know.
And then mom comes out, and thenshe's all oh, you know, she's
under Lee.
So then, yeah, she, let us goback there.
(29:12):
Me and my husband just satthere for like 10 minutes, I
think, but like when I got inthere I could not stop crying,
right.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
I just seen her Look at the beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
you just did yes, yeah, like I just couldn't
believe it.
You just did yes, yeah, like Ijust couldn't believe it, and
then she was like hooked up tolike the monitors and stuff, I
don't know.
It just kind of made me feelsome kind of way.
For sure I get that but she'sthriving now, yeah yeah, yeah,
she's walking and talking.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Oh my gosh everything does she know about you?
I mean, she's what two, somaybe not too little.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Yeah, I don't know.
To be honest, I don't know, Idon't really talk to the parents
too much.
Yeah, they send me a pictureevery now and then I'll text mom
like hey, happy new year orhappy birthday or Merry.
Christmas, every first I send ahappy first birthday.
(30:05):
I send her a gift, so she'llsend me like a picture.
That's sweet, yeah, but otherthan that I don't know yeah, did
you want more?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
did you want to be able to stay in touch, like and
just or no?
It did.
You just didn't know.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Because it was your first journey, you were like I
don't know so I, I didn't knowat first um, I did want it, but
I wasn't sure, like, whateverything was gonna look like
at the end.
Yeah, um, she stayed in thehospital for seven days a week
yeah, a week in the NICU andthen they left.
(30:39):
Like five days later they droveback home, but I got to see her
the day before they left too,at the hotel.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Oh, good, did your son get to go see her like was
she like not really.
I mean he's older, so maybehe's like not even interested so
funny thing about that so myhusband's son.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
He's now 11, so he was nine ten yeah yeah, they.
Well, they were two yearsyounger than what they are now.
Okay, um, they didn't know thatI was pregnant.
I didn't tell them that we weredoing this.
They didn't know the whole timelive with you guys.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
There's like a they do live with you guys.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
They do yeah, wait like okay so like every other
like every other weekend thingor no.
So my, my son lives with mefull-time and he goes with his
dad on the weekends.
And then my other son, he ishere half the time, half the
time with his mom.
Okay, um, but my, my son, he'slike he has, he's so innocent,
(31:43):
like he just doesn't know, likeif he doesn't know he's not
gonna question it.
Okay, he's you know.
And so I wasn't gonna be like oh, hey, I'm having a baby,
because they've they've alwaysexpressed that they want a
sister, that they want a babysister.
So I was like I don't want totell them and have them feel
some kind of way.
So we went throughout thepregnancy I would go to like
(32:04):
school events with him and theteachers would ask him like hey,
you're gonna have a sibling,and he's like no, or like that.
I remember he said theprincipal asked me if you're
pregnant and I said okay, tojust tell him I'm fat, I was
gaining a lot of weight, and Iguess at one point he did tell
her that like, oh, she's justgaining weight, and the
(32:27):
principal never asked after that.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
So okay, yeah, so did you not have like a visible,
like like a bum?
Like if people are asking ifshe's pregnant, yeah you
probably know, I know, but likeI, like I couldn't hide it, like
you would look at me and belike she's pregnant, like you
know like it's that's what it is.
I did ask somebody.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
They the baby was born eight months ago and I
asked them when's the baby due?
So like I've never done thatagain.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
So yeah so it can happen, right, but oh yeah, wow,
I'm just shocked yeah, the factthat you hid it from your kids
who like live with you.
Yeah, my son would be way tooinvested.
He'd be like what's going on?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
yeah, well, I mean my , my younger one, um, his mom is
really nosy, so I know she toldhim that, um, because she asked
my sister in law and then mysister-in-law was like I don't
know, I'm like that's not mybusiness, whatever, um, but but
she, you know, she ended upfiguring out that I was a
(33:27):
surrogate.
So I think she did tell myyounger one and so I think at
the end they, they knew, I meaneverybody, everybody knew did
your family know, yeah, myfamily.
Everybody knew about my kid,okay, okay okay, okay, that is
funny.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I mean props to you.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah, did you pump for the baby or anything like
that.
Did you even go down that road,or no?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I tried.
I did pump for six, six weeks,eight weeks good for you.
But they didn't want the breastmilk.
They didn't.
No, I know, and I kept tellingthem, like she's in the NICU,
it's gonna help her, like herLike let me take it to her Right
.
And no, they didn't want it.
Speaker 5 (34:10):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Yeah.
Were you able to donate it orno, I did.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I was going to a chiropractor during the
pregnancy down the street and Iguess her sister her sister went
to jail or something Like.
I mean Aaron out there doinglaundry but she ended up getting
like custody of the baby and soI gave her the breast milk and
(34:38):
yeah, that worked out.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, very nice.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
That's very.
Look at that Making lemonadeout of lemons.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Yeah, yeah, okay, so you heal really well.
Yes, no complications, okay,awesome.
And then do you get the bugagain.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
You're like I got to do this again, yeah, so then,
okay, so I had the baby and then, like that same.
So I think I had the babyWednesday, I don't remember what
day, yeah, wednesday.
So then we had a tournamentthat weekend I went, and then on
Sunday we had a soccertournament right back into life,
(35:19):
yeah yeah, just like not wasnever pregnant.
I know that we had a, we had apractice or we had a tournament.
Then we had a tournament thenext weekend and then I went to
both and then she's like theteam mom, she's like where, what
, what happened where?
Where's the baby?
Just pop it out and come back,huh.
(35:39):
So, um, but the agency had abrunch on Sunday and I went and,
um, yeah, and I told her likeI'm ready to get back in it,
like, oh, my god, put me in.
So they did um, they got myprofile ready again to get
rematched, um, and, and I gotmatched pretty quick.
Um, I think actually I mighthave had to wait three months to
(36:03):
get rematched okay, that's fairum, but it was still pretty
fast, yeah, still quick, stillfast, yeah, and so I rematched
um with an ip from uh shanghai,oh, yeah yeah, and they were.
They were great.
They were a young couple and umwe matched, so we were going to
(36:26):
go through the process and then, I guess during like the
medical record screening, thedoctor told her that he wanted
her to try um transferring herown embryos to herself first
before getting a surrogate so we, so they broke the match.
Oh, okay, yeah.
So then I got rematched againto a single dad in China.
(36:54):
Oh yeah, he was 50 years old.
Wow, it was pretty crazy.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
But it's an undertaking for him, like you
know.
You're just like wow really,but maybe he just never found
the right partner either.
Yeah, female, whatever.
Wow, okay, that worked out.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
He was a gay single dad.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
So, um, he was saying that hejust wanted to have kids because
it was just he.
I guess he was an only child.
He have kids because it wasjust he.
I guess he was an only he wasan only child.
And his mom was getting olderand it was just him.
So he wanted to have kids ofhis own.
So he had um, a donor, a 26year old donor, um, and then so
(37:38):
we we matched, we did everything, and then we get to like our
transfer and then I find outthat he has a second surrogate
at the same time.
Oh, you find out at transfer.
Yeah, so my husband says thatthis was told to me during the
match meeting.
Really, I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Oh, but your husband remembers, he remembered.
He says he thinks he remembers,okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
It could be one of those things where like you you
know like, you think about itfor a long time, then you start
to question like, did thatactually happen?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
like this or like that?
Yeah, he was doing a dualjourney.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Yeah, having two tandem, tandem journey, yeah,
and.
And so me and the othersurrogate were having transfers
like, um, I think the first onewas like a week apart.
I was first and then she wasnext, and then so the first
transfer again did not work,okay.
So then her first transfer alsodid not work, yeah.
So then we were kind ofquestioning like, oh, you know,
(38:38):
is this going to be a problem?
So we decided to do anothertransfer, so we go into the
second transfer and again she'sdoing the transfer a week apart
and my transfer takes, but hersdoes not, okay.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Yeah, so one out of four tries.
Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Yeah, so it was a little tough.
So then that whole journey itwas kind of like an eye opener
to all the problems that couldcome with surrogacy.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
It was it was pretty rough.
You're still with the sameagency, right?
So, yeah, they were able tonavigate all of that with you
and be helpful.
They were, yeah, good.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Good.
Yeah they were yeah, good, good, yeah, um.
So we have the, the beta, betaday.
Um, numbers were great, theywere awesome.
They're doubling um.
Numbers were rising fast andgood, okay, um.
So then at some point I waslike oh man, you, you can't tell
if you're having twins ortriplets with the with the hcp
(39:45):
number, but it was so high thatI was questioning like what?
Is happening here yeah,multiples yeah, and so, um, then
.
So then we're good, we'reconfirmed pregnant.
And then my husband and Idecided to take a trip to, like
Big Sur.
Okay, oh, okay, yeah, and um, Ialready had like a feeling like
(40:10):
something was off, and so weget to our hotel.
Well, first of all, a lot ofthings went wrong on that trip
too.
We got to the hotel, we didn'teven have a room.
I booked the wrong hotel forthe wrong date, but we ended up
getting a room and then, um, youknow, we're hanging out, we go
to dinner.
We come back then the next day,where we just ran, we had our
(40:31):
dogs with us, we decided to goon a walk and I just felt like
this huge gush, oh.
And I was like babe, like no,like this is not good.
So I ran to the bathroom andthere's just like blood
everywhere.
Like no, no, no, it was justreally bad.
So I'm like freaking out andcan I ask you, do you think like
(40:52):
?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
were you thinking because you're in the field
right?
Were you thinking worst casescenario?
Or were you thinking likesubchronic hematoma?
Speaker 3 (41:01):
so I I I instantly thought maybe it's a
subchorionic.
Okay, at least I was hoping.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Right, yeah, because those are common.
Yeah, but thought ofmiscarriage.
Actually, no, no, no, I takethat back.
So I did think I was having amiscarriage, just because it was
so much.
Okay, and so we went to thehospital.
We went to the hospital, theydid a scan, um.
(41:30):
We went to the hospital, theydid a scan and, um, like I,
she's asking me these questionslike, um, when was your transfer
?
Like, how far along are you?
And?
And so she's asking me thesequestions, like telling me that
the baby's there, um, and thatshe had found a heartbeat.
Like she didn't tell me, butshe asked me a question.
I don't remember what she askedme, but I was like the baby has
a heartbeat and she's like, oh,I can't tell you.
The doctor will go over it withyou.
(41:50):
Tell me, like, can I look atthe screens?
Like, let me look.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
But she didn't.
So then we go back and thedoctor comes in.
He's telling me that there is aheartbeat, that he sees the
flicker, okay, um, but that the,the baby looks not normal, that
the ember, the sack andeverything doesn't look normal.
So then he talks to, like thedoctor, the fertility doctor,
(42:17):
they end up connecting and he'slike oh well, if you see a, uh,
you know everything, there is asubchorionic and so she's fine,
just have her relax, be on bedrest, yeah okay I'm like okay.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
So so you got one doctor saying things don't look
normal and you got anotherdoctor saying like you're fine,
just go home and rest yeah, itwill happen.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
Yeah, well, they had seen the sack.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah, I wish I had the pictures actually, guys,
because it because, it's big.
Pretty crazy, really, yeah.
So like it's the sac right orlike the you know the yeah, oh,
my God, I can't think.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
The amniotic sac, your uterus, oh, the uterus.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
So it's your uterus, and then you know the little
embryo in the sac.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah, yeah, and so it was kind of like it looked like
a fish.
Oh, it looked like a swedishfish actually.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Yeah, I know the red ones, yeah, yeah, and so on the
side, you know, there was like abig black spot, so that was a
subchorionic white and but, whenthe doctor, he was like it
looks not normal, but there's aflicker, like there's a
heartbeat, so the baby's there.
It's just too small, okay todictate whether it's it's good
or not, okay.
So, um, the fertility doctor's,like she just has subchlorion
(43:37):
and do bed rest.
So I, we went back, I, wedidn't do anything after that,
we drove home and then I had mylike six week appointment.
Um, I was doing monitoring atmy clinic that I worked at and
the doctor, she is amazing, Ilove her, I trust her with my
life.
Obviously I did two retrievalswith her myself, yeah, but, um,
(44:00):
she's just great, dr Davis, andshe, um gave it to me straight.
It's just like this is not anormal growing embryo, okay, um,
the there was like uh, on thepicture that she gave me it was
with the uterus, and then therewas like a line, there was like
a tissue line, oh yeah, and thenthere was like the embryo and
(44:23):
the, the baby and the sack, andthere was like a line, the the
sack was like kind of collapsing, it was like weird, but she
didn't find a flicker, shedidn't find a heartbeat, nothing
, okay.
So they sent those results tomy fertility clinic, um, to the,
the transfer one, yeah.
(44:45):
And then they were like, oh no,like can you come to LA to, so
that the doctor can just checkyou himself?
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Oh to LA.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
So I did.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
The next day my husband and I drove up to LA.
The doctor found a heartbeat.
Really, yeah.
And with like the baby's fine,like there's a heartbeat, like
they're fine.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Huh yeah, and was like the baby's fine, like
there's a heartbeat, likethey're fine.
Huh yeah, so that was uh.
He didn't say anything aboutthe abnormal looking sack or
anything and the tissue line andall that, nothing, huh, okay,
what?
Speaker 3 (45:15):
no, he didn't, and I haven't even told him like so,
the baby, when, like when yousee the flicker, there was a
ring around the heart.
So I had asked him I said, isthat ring normal there?
And he's, he's, like it's fine,but I don't know if it was just
like not to worry me, or for menot to ask questions, or yeah,
(45:38):
right, I don't know, are youstill bleeding at this time?
Speaker 4 (45:41):
because the the um, the hematoma are, you, are, you,
are you not at this time, okay,no, and stops um.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
So then after after that appointment, um, uh, we had
a trip to kentucky to go see myhusband's sister, and so we
flew there and then I had to dolike my 10 week appointment,
okay, and so I did my 10 weekappointment in Louisville, and
(46:12):
when I went there I kind ofalready had a feeling that it
was like not good, and so theyconfirmed that there was no
heartbeat and that it was justnot there anymore, Wow.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
You don't recall losing anything like another
gush or nothing like that.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
No, just absorbed.
Wow, I mean, it was still there, it just had no heartbeat.
No heartbeat.
Okay, the baby was still there.
Speaker 4 (46:44):
Aww, yeah.
What's the intended dad doingthis whole time?
Is he communicating with you,is he?
Speaker 2 (46:49):
just crickets.
First of all, does he speakenglish?
He, he spoke a little bit ofenglish, okay very little.
That makes it challenging Iknow with wechat.
It makes it easier, but it'sstill challenging.
So you were must have beengoing through the agency and the
agency was keeping him updated.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
Yeah, yeah, well, we were on wechat, so I would give
him the updates there and hewould respond yeah, okay, but um
, like I was giving him theupdates, so when I started
bleeding I didn't message him, Imessaged my coordinator and she
got in contact with them to letthem know, um, but then when I
saw a heartbeat, or when theycome from the heartbeat and the
(47:26):
picture, I sent them the picture, yeah, and he was super excited
and yeah.
But then when I miscarried andall that stuff, like there was
just crickets, like nothing,absolutely nothing, yeah.
And so crickets from him, yeah,okay, yeah.
(47:47):
And so, um, crickets from him,yeah, okay.
So then, um, they gave me theoption to do the pill or to let
it pass naturally or do a dnc,um, but I was just kind of over
it at that point and I was likeI just want to, you know, just
let my, you know, get it out,yeah and um, so my, my doctor
(48:10):
that I worked with, she did adnc.
They sent it out for testingand it was normal.
I was, the tissue was normal.
So I don't, I don't know, Idon't know what happened just a
fluke one.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Yeah, that's very sad .
Speaker 4 (48:26):
So you don't continue on with him, no, right.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
No, I broke the match with him after that because
three out of four.
And then a miscarriage abnormalmiscarriage.
And to not get the support orany check-in, just like you know
, just like the humanness of it,right, right, yeah that's super
and I think that was kind oftough because, like, he didn't
(48:53):
even say like I hope you'redoing okay or like how right,
like any question, and I mean Idid fine, I didn't have any
connection, you know, to theembryo.
Yeah, they need to ham and thatthing, so it was okay, um, but
I think I think my feelings justgot hurt.
Then I still tell my husbandlike I can't believe you didn't
(49:16):
even ask if I was okay.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Right, because it's the human body through right
it's the human decency to belike, are you, are you okay?
Like you were doing this thingfor me.
I don't know, I right, and Ihate to say it like that,
because, but like if I was anintended parent, I would
definitely feel myself like areyou okay?
Like I'm hurting this is awful,like yes, but are you okay too?
(49:38):
Like thank you, you know, fortrying and doing this, like
right, I'd want to assure, butthen again, right, I'm biased
because I'm a surrogate, butlike I would want to and I
wouldn't want to make you knowthat I appreciate you and I
don't think it's your faultright I think that's what every
surrogate wants to hear.
I appreciate you.
I don't think it's your fault.
(49:59):
I think science is science andthings are going to happen and
I'm in a lot of pain and I needtime and I hope you're okay,
like if I were to get that right.
Okay, sending you my love Talkwhenever, like simple cutoff,
totally fine, yep.
So yeah, it makes sense whyyour feelings were hurt, like
(50:20):
that's a really dramatic thing.
Speaker 4 (50:22):
When did this all happen, Liz?
How far ago.
Speaker 3 (50:26):
So this was in 2024, so march last year.
Yeah, last year, okay marchmarch 13th, 2024.
Knows the date?
Yeah, what's my brother'sbirthday?
Speaker 2 (50:38):
so oh my gosh, first your husband's birthday.
People just gotta stop havingbirthdays yeah yikes yeah, but
that was so then.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
So then I had talked to my coordinator.
I guess he wanted to do anothertransfer with you.
He was open to doing anotherone, yeah with with you the
person you didn't like check inwith?
Yeah, with both of us, with meand the other surrogate but so
the other surrogate had held offbecause she wanted to see what
was going on first, right, right, so I made the decision to
(51:13):
break match, and then she brokethe match with him too.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Okay, yeah yeah, did you know her?
Did you ever meet her?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
no, I didn't, but I guess she was, um she's friends
with one of the uh coordinatorsat my agency.
Okay, um, so I have like seenher profile, but I, you know, I
would always tell her like, tellher I said good luck and like
right, you know, yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
So does nothing after mark like are you done?
Are you thinking taking time?
Are you trying it again?
Speaker 3 (51:46):
no, so we went right back into it.
You did, oh my god, like backto back.
Okay, yeah, so then.
Okay.
So then I start my next journeyum, again, I get matched, and
then with another couple inchina, and um, we matched.
(52:07):
We're gonna go through theprocess.
But I think when they werereviewing my records, the doctor
had told the ifp that theywanted me to do a hysteroscopy.
Okay, and he was like oh, no,no, I think she needs too much
testing, so let's just break thematch.
So they broke the match wowdude.
Speaker 4 (52:23):
Most everybody has to have a hysteroscopy.
I mean that's just normal, thatthat's they want to just see if
you can hold the fluid like no,but he was like no.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
She needs too many testing.
I need to do my job and I don'tfeel like wait.
Speaker 4 (52:34):
That was the ivf doctor, not the family, who said
she needs too much testing theidea, the family did that.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
oh, just kidding, sorry doctor.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
I like being like what a rude doctor Never mind my
bad Sorry.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Oh, no, the dad.
My records were approved withthe same clinic, but the dad was
like she needs too many thingsand so they broke the match.
I'm sorry.
Okay well on to better, yeah, sothen I get rematched.
Oh my gosh, my Lord.
Well onto better.
Yeah, so then I get rematched.
(53:10):
Oh my gosh, so I get rematchedwith a, um, another couple, and
she's so great like she's, shewas really nice and, and, um, I,
I wish everything worked outfor her, but it unfortunately I
didn't either.
Um, yeah, we, so then we gothrough everything.
Uh, we ended up doing threetransfers, oh, wow, yeah, and
(53:33):
they all failed too uh, weretheir hair, her eggs, or or did
they get donor?
they were hers they were hereggs, her eggs and and and his
sperm and um but um.
He was transferring embryosfrom one clinic to another and
(53:54):
yeah and there was just a lotgoing on um the first transfer.
Actually I I was.
I'm not like a habitual tester.
I will literally test the nightof transfer, oh my god, I love
you and I have no shame becauseI will test.
I want to see the progressionin lines.
Yeah, I get that, I feel thatgotcha and um, so I I was
(54:16):
testing every day and then, Ithink like day four in the
evening, I got a line, um, andby day eight it was gone.
Oh yeah, so it was trying, butit just it didn't.
And we did two more and then inbetween I did a hysteroscopy, I
(54:37):
did endometrial biopsy, wow, ohmy god um I mean, everything
was normal with me, everythingwas fine, but it just it didn't
work that's a shame, yeah I'msorry to hear that.
Speaker 4 (54:54):
So now, yeah, so when does that all end?
Because to do three transfers,that's, that's a good, that's a
lot.
And if this eight, nine, tenlike and that was only march of
24 that the other thing happenedright with the guy.
So when yeah when do you breakmatch?
Speaker 3 (55:07):
obviously so she actually broke the match with me
.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So now I'm, I'm on the searchagain, but I'm not very hopeful
actually.
No, I'm wrong, because theagency actually did match me.
Or I had a meeting with um,another couple from china, but
(55:30):
um, he was also 50, he was like57, wow, and she was younger.
He already had kids.
She had two older kids.
Okay, um, but I don't knowsomething like in me and even my
husband was saying like youhave, you know that history with
an older couple or an older man, you don't know, you don't want
(55:52):
to go through that.
And then yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (55:54):
So I told the agency no, yeah, you have to go with
what feels right for you.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (56:00):
Yeah, so I'm hoping Okay.
Speaker 4 (56:04):
Yeah, okay.
Well, good luck to you, becauseI hope you've been through
enough.
It's time.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
Yeah, good vibes coming your way, I know actually
, geez, you don't seem to belike a match though no, you
don't seem hard to be matched.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
No, no, no, I think this time it's taking a little
bit longer, but that's okay Imean as an ip, like, well, I'm
not an ip, like if I was an IP Iwould probably be.
Really I mean, who wouldn't?
It's three failed transfers, amiscarriage.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
Oh, I see.
So you're saying they're peoplelike that and have had an open
mind to ask the questions likethey're out there and they yeah,
you know there.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
There are people out there that are like that, that
are like well, that wasn't myembryo.
What does the doctor say like?
Speaker 4 (57:00):
what does my doctor say like things like that so,
and if the agency is willing tomatch you and keep you in their
rotation and the IVF doctor hascleared you, you're fine, it's
not, it's nothing.
It's the circumstances that weredealt with.
I mean, when you well, I won'teven go there, but when you were
talking about the one story andI'm just like, oh, this doesn't
(57:22):
sound, and he was doing dual ortandem, as you use the word,
I'm thinking, hmm, maybe healready knows something's up and
he's just trying, you know,more bang for the buck or, you
know, just trying to getsomething to take.
I feel bad for him.
I hope he's gone on to find, tobe able to have children, if he
, if that's really what hisdream was.
But you've had enough, you, you, you need, you need a couple in
(57:43):
their thirties who just kidsand just, yes, do it, it, yeah,
that's that live in san diegotoo, would be nice.
Speaker 3 (57:49):
Oh my god dream, dream watch you're gonna show up
tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
You're gonna get a profile tomorrow watch I know, I
know, oh, my gosh love it yeahI just, I just wish they were
more understanding.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Like I know, not everybody knows about ivf and
you know how it works and andthe statistics of it and being a
surrogate and how that worksand yeah and but I, I mean, if I
didn't have the informationthat I, that I know, I, if I was
an IPA, I'd be like no, I wouldwant someone that is perfect, I
get that.
Speaker 2 (58:19):
Who's perfect.
Speaker 4 (58:21):
I know If you're a first time surrogate, you're not
a proven surrogate, so thatcan't be considered perfect,
right, right if?
If you're a third timesurrogate and the first two went
well, doesn't mean you'reperfect, right, it's.
It's everything you know,science, it's everything
together yeah, yeah, no, you'rewho knows.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
I mean, that's the reason that we like started the
podcast to begin with, right tospread education and awareness
about things that aren't reallytalked about or that aren't,
that aren't really like outthere to help you understand,
and so maybe somebody's gonnahear this and be like I, like
Liz wait, she seems great Idon't care about all that, let
me talk to her.
Speaker 4 (58:57):
Let me talk to her, let me know all this you know
what I mean, because I, honestly, half of it is the match.
It's the people who are doingthis together.
It really is.
There's got to be the supportand there's got to be the
understanding, and we're workingtowards an end goal, which is a
baby, a healthy baby and whenit's meant to be, it'll be.
Yeah, it's going to happen foryou.
Yes, it is, and it sounds likeyou've got a great agency.
(59:19):
Did you want to give them aplug?
Because they sound like they'rephenomenal?
Speaker 5 (59:31):
Seriously road to baby in carl's band okay I was
like I think you're I thinkyou're the surrogate that I
follow.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
That's with road to baby oh yeah, I'm pretty sure
it's her.
Speaker 3 (59:36):
That's a cool name, that's awesome and they're
amazing.
I mean they're so supportiveand throughout the whole journey
.
I mean they're always giftingyou stuff throughout your
journey too, like send you likeall these gift bags, and I mean
it's cool to know that, like youknow, someone cares, even if
that's why you're with an agency, because there are times and
you needed it over yeah, yeah,you needed it because some
(59:58):
surrogates.
Speaker 4 (59:59):
Don't need it at all because everything's just like
we got it, we're great, right,and that's the dream.
But more often than not,there's going to be a hiccup and
you're going to need somebodyin your corner.
So so, thank God, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
And they're amazing Like they always backed me up on
everything, like I know withwith the second journey that
that I had the miscarriage youknow there was.
There was stuff with somepayments and stuff like that,
and they were always like on topof it to get everything done.
And I mean I love them.
I don't have anything bad tosay about them.
(01:00:30):
They are the best agency I'veever worked with and I've
reached out to multiple andtheir process is just so easy
like I literally don't know.
Throughout the first journey Ididn't have to question anything
, I didn't have to do anything,just sign, sign the paper, read
and sign.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
Good.
Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Glad, happy for you.
Yeah, shout out to road to baby.
Speaker 5 (01:00:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
You've got a supporter in Liz yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
You are one strong woman.
I will say that you aredetermined and strong, and
that's you know very needed incircus.
Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
yet yeah, pretty happy and stuff.
So I don't know.
I think your husband needs totake another look, you don't?
Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
need to be pregnant.
It's because he's not here.
No, yeah, there you go there,you go.
Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
His energy's not in the house yeah, oh how funny oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Well, do you have any advice to give anyone that's
like looking to become a firsttime surrogate, or like for
their next journey?
Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
um advice.
Let's see.
Well, if you're trying to be asurrogate or if you've been
thinking about being a surrogate, just do it.
Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
I love it just do it before I hit record just decide
no.
Before I hit record.
Before you popped on mom.
I was talking to Liz, I waslike I love all your tattoos.
She was like thank you.
I'm like I really want a halfsleeve, but I like don't know,
and she's like just do it yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
There you go.
I think that's your mantra.
Just do it, it's your motto.
Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
I mean, do your research on your agencies.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
But yeah, if you've been, if you've been looking
into it like, just you need thatpush.
This is your, this is your sign.
Just do it.
I love it.
It's some of the best advice.
Yep, yeah, yep, dive right in.
Right, yep, dive in.
You should.
You'll figure it out as you go.
We're all here to help you.
Yeah, well, good luck to youGood luck.
Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
I hope it all works out for you.
Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Thank you, I do too, I hope so.
Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Keep us posted I mean I follow you so like I'll keep.
It's so funny.
I was like I think she's withroad to baby.
Why, I know that, but I knowthat.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I know that Maybe you've postedabout it, or maybe I don't know
.
Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
I have a few times okay, yeah okay, because I like
stuck in my head and I tag themon all of like my surrogacy
stuff too.
Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Okay, yeah, because I think you're the only surrogate
that I know that's with them.
Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
That's the first time their name yeah, which is weird
because it's a california-basedagency, but it's just not la, I
know, like all the la ones,it's just yeah, I didn't know
that one, san diego.
Now I do there, you go now I do, yeah, lovely, they're awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
And the owner she's great, she's amazing, I love her
.
Shout out to jen no, thank you,that's perfect, thanks for
sharing all that with us.
Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
Oh my gosh, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
I know, sorry no don't be sorry.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
Never apologize, never, and you were so positive
through all of it and you'relike, okay, then this happened
and that I was like I know thisgirl has been through the ringer
, but you're gonna get it again.
It's gonna happen again.
Yeah, it just.
It's just not that right matchyet.
It's just not there.
Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
They're there yeah, they're out there, yeah, and
they're gonna hear this and belike I love liz, like and you're
gonna have like six people go.
Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I want her.
Yeah, yeah, really, get tochoose, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
And you know it's funny, because I love being a
surrogate so much that when Iwas working with my doctor, with
Dr Davis, I would tell her likehey, dr Davis, like you know,
if this patient needs, she wouldsay like, be a surrogate for
these patients, a joke, I don'tknow if she was joking around,
but she would say it and I'd belike you know what, just put
them all in me and I'll havethem all like like baby roulette
(01:04:12):
.
Speaker 4 (01:04:15):
And we can DNA test them when they come out.
Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
Yeah, I wish I could help everybody.
Oh right, Wouldn't that?
Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
you got the right heart, liz.
That's that's well.
That's the heart behind asurrogate I wish.
I could help everybody Yep.
So more power to you, girl,good luck.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
Again, I know that was a lot to share, but I we so
appreciate it.
We really do.
We really really do andhopefully we'll see you at the
next brunch, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
That would be really fun If you're not doing anything
tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
Okay.
Sounds good, sounds good I knowI have work.
I know that pesky little thing,a job.
All right, thank you so much.
Yeah, thanks so much.
All right, you take care.
Good luck, man.
She had, she had a rollercoaster, yeah, with all the
loops like oh my god, I'm soimpressed because she just kept
(01:05:09):
the positivity up and thatthat's hard to do, but she's
clearly not hard to match noshe's been matched several times
.
Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
No, oh, it's not a.
Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
I really don't think that that the history of
whatever you want to call allthat has anything to do with it
I you know, because you got tolook into why that history.
Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
You gotta look at each I would like to look into
why and I you got to look ateach scenario I would like to
look into why, and I would too.
Obviously there are but butright, but just how like?
Surrogates want particular IPs,IPs want particular surrogates
we get that, we get that, butthere is definitely somebody out
there.
Oh God, yes, yeah, yeahabsolutely.
Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
There's so many people in the world.
So during your journey, Liz,you'll have to come back on when
you're pregnant again.
Speaker 5 (01:05:50):
No, no, when she has the baby.
Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
Okay, I like talking to them in between.
I like talking to them whenthey're not having a baby.
Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Okay, well then, sure , let's do that, ellen.
Speaker 4 (01:05:57):
Let's do that Just to find out how things are going,
just to get excited.
A mid-checkup and people canget going to have a baby.
Countdown, countdown to baby.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I like it, I love it.
All right, Okay Well, thank youso much, Liz.
If anybody has any questions orstories they would like to
share, please feel free to reachout to us on Instagram at stop
period sit period surrogate, oryou guys can reach out in an
email at stop period sit periodsurrogate at gmailcom.
Speaker 4 (01:06:22):
Thanks for listening everybody.
It's been another edition ofStop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Bye Bye.
Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Hey everyone.
If you ever thought aboutbecoming a surrogate, I want to
share something with you.
Speaker 5 (01:06:33):
Stop Sit Surrogate is now a matching and referral
agency that helps guide youthrough the very first steps of
your journey.
We'll walk with you untilyou're matched and connected
with a trusted agency thatsupports you all the way through
.
It's such a meaningful processand knowing you're not alone
makes a huge difference.
So if you're curious aboutsurrogacy or ready to take that
first step, check us out atstopsitsurrogatecom.
Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a
like and subscribe.
Also, check out the link to ourYouTube channel in the
description, and be sure to alsocheck out our children's book
my Mom has Superpowers, Sold onAmazon and Etsy.
Welcome.
We are a mother-daughterpodcast about all things
surrogacy.
Together, we have brought eightbeautiful babies into this
world and we would like to sharethrough education and knowledge
about surrogacy with those whowant to educate themselves on
the topic.
This is Stop Sit Surrogate.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hi everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with
Kennedy and Ellen.
Hey everybody, welcome back toStops it Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Everybody Today we are welcomedby a surrogate.
I'm so excited.
We've talked online, but now weget to talk in person a little
bit.
So do you want to introduceyourself?
Hi, I'm Liz.
Hello Liz, are you Californiabased or are you like East Coast
(00:46):
?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I california-based, I'm in san diego, yeah, any
first time, second time, thirdtime, um, so I've done three
journeys, um wow, yeah yeah, wow, girl.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
How'd you find out about surrogacy?
Let let's start with that.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
So I actually work in the fertility field.
I'm a medical assistant.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
And.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I worked for a fertility office and I actually
never crossed my mind likesurrogacy never crossed my mind
until I started working there.
I did a lot of monitoringpatients, so I did a lot of
blood draws and ultrasounds forthem and one of the girls was
just like, oh, you know, I'm asurrogate and um, the IEP is
(01:32):
flying me out first class andthis and that, and um, she would
just tell me like everythingevery, every time she would come
in.
We'd have like this really longconversation and and um, one of
actually one of our patientsthe couples they asked if I
would be interested in beingtheir surrogate.
And yeah, and it was.
(01:54):
It was totally random because Ijust had this surrogate.
And then the couple asked andthen, um, so I talked to my
husband and my husband was like,yeah, you know what?
Like I'm, I'll support youwhatever you want to do, and so
I had told her yes and she endedup actually getting pregnant on
her own.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Oh well, good for her .
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, but that's it, huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, that's.
That's a very cool way to getinto this, the fact that you
work in the industry.
Well, what?
The fertility industry?
That's cool.
That, but the fertilityindustry, that's cool.
That was always something Iwanted to do, so that's.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
You already have a heads up on what's needed and
what's like.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
You already do half of it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A little bit more knowledge on the terminology.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean, it was totally different because at the
clinic that I was working at atthe time I was just doing basic
stuff, like just blood draws,and then maybe helping like in a
procedure every now and thenmaybe helping like in a
procedure every now and then.
But then, like once I startedmy journey, I quit and I went to
another fertility office and atthat office I did everything.
(02:54):
So I've done everything fromlike retrievals, the
hysteroscopies.
I've done transfers.
I started with our patientsfrom A to the very last step
till graduation day.
So I learned, definitelylearned, a lot there.
It's I love the field.
It's it's unfortunate field,but it's so rewarding at the end
.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Right, agreed but that's so cool, that's I would
love to be.
I would love to be in yourposition when being a surrogate,
like because when people, whenpeople talk to me in the
fertility world, like you know,when I pop into the office and
they're like this and that, andI just go, whatever you say, I
agree, whatever.
(03:34):
Yeah, the fact that you know it, that's gotta be.
That's just huge on your part.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, it's cool.
Sometimes it's kind of a badthing because, like so, I yeah
I've done three journeys, butunfortunately I've only had one
successful birth, yeah.
And so, like, just within thejourneys and seeing the
ultrasounds, I'm like, oh no, Iknow what's wrong.
Like this is, you know,subchorionic or it was a
(04:03):
miscarriage or this or that, andyeah, okay, so pluses and
minuses for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that though.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
So what do we talk?
Are we going to discuss all ofthem, or are we just talking
about the which one?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I mean, we can Okay.
So then I'm open to everythingI love surrogacy, I love
fertility, I love goodeverything about it okay great,
okay, so then let's just go backto what?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
to what we just talked about.
Right, the um, how the sparkstarted.
So the spark now started.
And how, where do you go?
Because now she's pregnant onher own, yay for her.
So where do you?
What, what, what now?
What are your steps?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
So, um, I started looking up agencies around the
area and I had found one and Ium signed up or did everything
that I, I matched, I, um, I metthe.
I didn't meet the couple, but I, I zoomed them and then, um, we
had like a, so their, theirprocess was different.
They, I zoomed them and thenimmediately they put me in a
(05:07):
chat with them, right off thebat.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah, With the intended parents yeah, before
you're medically cleared.
And everything or no Beforeeverything?
Yeah, that's risky.
That's risky, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And and so they were a great couple.
I love them, but the agency wasjust not good.
Okay, there was a lot ofmiscommunication, there was, um,
a lot of things that were likenot going right and it kind of
sucked.
So I I ended up breaking offwith that agency and that couple
(05:42):
, okay, um, but they were sosweet and I and I still wonder
till this day, like if they everyeah, you know got pregnant or
or had a baby, I know it's hardhow many years
ago was this yeah, this was in2022.
Oh, that's when I started, yeahokay, you're, you're fresh yeah
(06:03):
wow, okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
So it's kind of not at the end of pandemic, kind of
like, yeah okay yeah yeah, 22.
Okay, so you break with them.
Do you find another one or doyou go yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I did so.
Then I found another agencyhere in San Diego.
Um, actually they're inCarlsbad and they're like super
amazing, just total 360 from youknow.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Oh great.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I love them and I'm still working with them till
this day.
They've been, they've done allof my journeys and I just.
They're so great, they're socommunicative.
They're communicative, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
You said it right to me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
They, they're just, I mean mean, everything about
them is just great.
And then the founder, she's um,she actually lives down the
street from me.
No, way.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, that's funny yeah meant to be.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Yeah, for sure okay, so, um, so you found them, and
then you are like, hey, I wantto be a surrogate and I'm
assuming that their processmight be a little bit more, um,
ethical, normal stream, yeahright yeah, so they, um, they do
, you know, the screening andthen they do the match process
(07:20):
and then they do medical recordsthe medical clearance, and then
they'll do records the medicalclearance, and then they'll do
um the medical clearance, site,background, legal and then
transfer okay okay okay, and sowhen it came time, I'm just
curious you don't have to answerthis, but I'm just curious did
you know, going in like kind oflike an idea of who you want to
(07:42):
match with, like you know,domestic or international, same
sex, like, not same sex, singlelike did you?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
did you care?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
you have a wish list.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, yeah so when I, when I first did it, I didn't
because I I didn't have a lot ofknowledge right um, so I was
just kind of open to whateverand, and I know, they did send
me some international profiles.
But then, I think, after I sawthe international I was like, oh
, maybe someone stateside wouldbe better, okay, um.
(08:13):
So then they did send me twoprofiles to be um review and
there was a couple in Ohio andthen um a couple in Texas, and
we picked a couple in Texas tointerview and we had it all.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I like that, that they sent the profiles to you.
And then once you liked one,they sent your profile to them.
Or were you both looking at thesame time?
Do you know?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Um, to be honest, I think I don't know, but what I
think they do is that they putmy profile out there and then,
whenever an IP shows interest,they reach out to me, okay okay
yeah, makes sense, that wouldmake sense is that not how
everybody does it though?
No no, everybody's different, Iknow yeah, yeah like some,
(08:56):
sometimes like I've yeah, like
Speaker 2 (08:58):
sometimes um like my mom.
Well, you can speak foryourself.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Go ahead, mom yeah, they just gave me couples Like I
got the first couple, the firstone, the next couple on the
list, that's who I got.
We didn't connect, we didn'tnothing.
It was horrible.
They wanted to buy a baby andthey did.
That's all.
In my journey on on the podcast, yeah, second one, I got a
little bit more wiser and I said, hey, I want to see more
profiles.
And they and I kept asking.
I think I saw six and itfinally landed on the couple and
(09:25):
I have an excellentrelationship with them.
Now, that's because I was ableto help pick third one.
Nope, I didn't get to pick themeither.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
So, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
So it's helpful that surrogates get to have a have a
say in it, cause if you, ifthere's a red flag in there and
you're like oh God, no, I can't,I can't, you shouldn't have to
go with them just becausethey're the next on the list,
right?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
yeah, which I don't think.
A lot of agencies, I don'tthink any of them do that
anymore.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Most of them don't do it anymore, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But I know they really try to get, they really
try to their matching person,really tries their hardest to
get it, like the first time.
But yeah, and then mine wassimilar to hers, almost copy
paste, I got to.
I got to look at my second oneand that's the one that I have a
relationship with, whereas likethe first one, luckily we just
worked out like it was great.
But my first two wereinternational and I think I want
(10:16):
someone domestic now because Ididn't get to like really be a
part of a journey with somebody.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
So yeah yeah it's definitely different, for sure.
I mean like the relationshipsare different, but yeah and they
can come to more stuff too.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Typically right, yeah you don't have to worry about
the time difference being 12hours ahead or something like
that, like you're not sleepingand they're awake, like that's.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
That's a lot yeah, it is it is yeah, especially on
transfer day.
It's so like nerve-wracking,like are they up all night, like
what are you doing right?
Exactly like let me send youthis picture.
Let me facetime you, but it'slike one o'clock in the morning,
right, yeah, pretty much it'slike.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I'll just tell me in the morning.
It's like my morning or yourmorning okay yeah, yeah, okay.
So, um, so you got to matchwith with a couple in texas, and
when did you guys get to likemeet in person?
I'm curious, was it beforetransfer?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
um, so we actually didn't meet in person until like
the week before delivering wow,and they're stateside.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
How did you feel about that?
Were you you okay with it like?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
um, it was fine.
I mean I I would have liked forher to be there more, um, but I
mean they were in texas andthey they have a restaurant in
texas.
Oh, that's busy.
You know they were kind of busy.
And yeah, I mean I understand,it's sure I I would um send her
pictures all the time and, youknow, text her updates all the
time.
So I mean it was fine.
(11:44):
And when we met, we met at a,at a restaurant here in carlsbad
for breakfast, and, um, when wemet it was like we've known
each other forever yeah, that'sreally nice, that's cool oh,
that's perfect.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Was this their first baby?
That?
They were yeah, oh, that's sofun.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Did you know the sex before I did?
It was a little girl oh yeah sodid.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
First did the first um transfer take it did not, it
did not no, and she only had twoembryos and um her the first
one didn't take, so that was alittle nerve-wracking right yeah
, that's yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
So they also because okay.
So then that answers my otherquestion, which was how many did
they put in?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
but they only put in one so how, how, how far between
were the transfers?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
do you remember the months like how, um the first
one was, uh, the middle of june,june 23rd okay on my husband's
birthday actually, yeah and thenuh, so that one failed and then
the second one was september1st wow, that's quick yeah, that
is quick oh that's a lot of ivfmeds on you, yeah yeah, it's
(12:58):
pretty rough and within the lastthree years I've done a total
of like seven cycles seven medcycles.
Are you like bruised like?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
well, not now, but oh my god, I'm assuming a lot of
them were injections.
Yes, actually I've done nine.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, because I did two, two retrievals for myself
in between.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
You did, I did yeah, wait, okay, can we elaborate
just a little bit were youdonating, or were they for you?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
no, for myself.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Look at you I don't think I've ever, we've ever have
not to a surrogate, that'sthat's for herself yeah yeah, is
there anything behind that mom?
You're getting so personal it'sokay, super young like you,
(13:50):
wouldn't need to do that unless,yeah, maybe whether it helps
scare or something, but gosh no,we just um.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I mean my husband and I have been together for six
years.
We haven't had any kids.
I mean I have one and he hasone none together, okay, but
since I work in fertility, weget like one free cycle, so
we're like let's just do it.
Yeah, cool, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I need to go over to that, that's cool yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Anybody needing coverage apply, oh my gosh,
that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah, that is super cool, okay, that makes sense.
That's super cool, okay, thatmakes sense.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
All right, that's very cool, it is so.
Second transfer takes Mm-hmmAny.
Is it smooth sailing?
Are there hiccups along the way?
Because you said you know whatthe ultrasounds look like and
all of that.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
So, at that time I didn't know I didn't switch over
to the other clinic where I wasdoing a whole bunch until I was
like four or five months old,ok, ok, yeah, but the transfer,
the second transfer, was smooth.
The HCG was a little bit on thelow side, it was like 64, I
think.
Ok, we were kind of likenervous but yeah, it was
doubling, it went up and good,good, good, but yeah, it was
(15:09):
doubling, it went up and good,good, good, she's here, yeah
right.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
When was she born?
She was born may of 23 of 23.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Oh wow, she's two, she's, yeah, she's two.
So cute.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah, oh my gosh, how'd the?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
delivery go wait mom, stop it you're joking.
You want to ask.
What do you want to ask?
How was your whole pregnancy?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Oh, I did ask that.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, I thought you were referring to the beginning,
but like you know, like did youhave any?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
like weird or happy things, yeah, so I hadn't been
pregnant, and so my son is 14now.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh my God, you have a 14 year old.
There's no way.
What is happening?
I so my son is 14 now.
Oh my God, you have a14-year-old there's no way.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
What is happening?
I need your skin regimen.
I can't.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
I was picturing you saying that you have like a
nine-year-old or something, ohno, 14?
.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, he just turned 14 this year, so my last
pregnancy was in 2011.
Wow, and so it was 2011 to 2023, yeah, and, but it was the
pregnancy.
Honestly, it was amazing.
Like I didn't feel like I waspregnant first of all.
(16:17):
It was just so like the best,it was so perfect.
That's awesome, yeah, and it'sum, I, I, yeah.
There was nothing that Icouldn't complain about.
I did have cravings to likevinegar.
Oh, how random.
Yeah, like I wanted a lot oflike vinegar, um, not pickles,
(16:38):
but like pickled beets, or umlike ginger, uh, yeats, or um
like ginger, uh, it just likethat vinegary taste.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, like I think, likethe last month before I
delivered, um the shower waterand I don't know what it was you
like the flavor.
(16:59):
I like the taste of it.
I wouldn't I wouldn't drink it,but I like the taste of it.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
That's funny it's probably clean yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I always got clean water and some and in your area
yeah yeah, yeah and then I think, the only thing so I'm a big
like steak eater, I love steak,um, but I couldn't eat steak
throughout the pregnancy I hadlike a steak aversion.
And then, um, I think, likebarely like two months ago, it
(17:31):
started coming back to where Iwas like okay, I want me, you
know and it's been two yearsyeah that's weird.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, I've had similar things I I used to eat
eggs all the time before I waspregnant with my son.
While I was pregnant with myson, I can't eat an egg to this
day, and I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
She's like I wouldn't mind that aversion.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Yeah, oh my gosh that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Ok, so, ok.
So now go ahead, mom, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
Well, no, so now she's, is it.
Is it a couple yeah that you'reOK?
Is it a couple yeah that you'rehere before?
Okay, so they're here the weekbefore delivery.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And are you induced or is it natural?
So I was induced, okay.
So let me go back a little bit.
So with a pregnancy, besidesfeeling great like my husband
loved me while I was pregnant,he wants me pregnant all the
time because I'm so much nicerto him.
Oh, my gosh, how funny.
(18:29):
I'm so nice, I'm so loving, I'meverything that's cute.
But anyways, it must be justwith the girl, though only girl,
oh, okay, yeah you would thinkit'd be the opposite then right,
yeah, I think I tell him like Ithink I have a hormone
imbalance and the baby maybejust balanced me because I was
(18:50):
so happy, like could be what isdepression or what is anxiety,
I'm so happy, but okay.
So then for delivery, I wentinto an appointment like the
last week, the 39 weekappointment for the NST testing
and the first appointment, Ithink, was like Monday and my
(19:14):
they were saying that my fluidwas a little bit low, okay, and
so they made me hydrate and thenthey checked the fluid and it
was fine, okay.
I was like barely at the, atthe fine line I think it had to
be like at a four or five orsomething like that.
So they sent me home and then Icame back Thursday for a second
(19:34):
check and that day she saidthat my fluid was really low, so
they sent me to the hospital tobe induced.
Yeah, and it was crazy, cause Iremember I was just looking at
the shirt that I was wearingthat day um I I called my
husband in the bathroom, Istarted crying and he was like
what's wrong?
And I'm like I'm just gonnahave a baby today and I'm so
(19:57):
scared like I haven't had a babyin 12, 13 years, like what's
gonna happen, wow.
But, um, when we ended up goingto the hospital, they admitted
me um, they, they did like theballoon and that I think out of
the entire pregnancy, delivery,everything postpartum, the
balloon was the really worst ohyuck thing I have ever
(20:23):
experienced in my life like, canI ask and this might be TMI,
but like pressure wise was thatlike what it was for you?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
it?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
it wasn't pressure, it was just uncomfortable.
To be honest, I don't even knowhow to explain it it was just
bad, it just felt like that ohno, I get it.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I get it.
It's not pleasurable at all.
It's not, especially if youdon't have an epidural yeah, and
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Okay, I didn't have one um, but they did the balloon
and then, um, I think when theytook it out, I was like at a
two or a four.
Yeah, I didn't do very much.
So Ips were there but they werelike running around doing some
(21:13):
stuff because, you know, theydidn't want to be at the
hospital for two days.
And then, I think, like thenext day, who told them it would
be two days?
No, well, I mean, they werestaying like next door, okay,
but um but they were just likedoing stuff, like outside the
hospital waiting for me to tellthem to come.
(21:33):
Oh, okay, yeah.
But the night that I actuallydelivered, the nurse said like,
hey, you might want to get IPsin here, because it looks like
you're going to start pushingaround one.
So I let her know um, I'm gonnastart pushing around like one
o'clock.
So then, um, my husband wasthere and I was with kaiser, and
so they only let two people inand it kind of sucked, because I
(21:55):
wish the dad was there wait,even with this kind of situation
, they're not nice no, all right.
Speaker 5 (22:01):
Well, that's kind of messed up.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Wait, wait you're not in a surgical room, you're like
in a normal nursing room.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
That's weird, okay, because you said 2022, may, no,
no, no, 2023.
2023?
.
So no, it wasn't a COVID thingeither.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
No, it's their protocol only to people, because
even now, like so, I worked forkaiser for a couple months, um,
just recently, and that'sthat's like their protocol only
to people, regardless of thesituation okay really that's a
shame.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, that's very sad .
The mom was in the room then.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Yeah, the the mom was yeah, okay, all right, and so
then I started pushing at likeone in the morning, and then she
was there.
She was holding my leg and myhusband, and when she came out,
Sorry, still no epidural.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
You're like powering, oh no yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I did get the epidural oh my goodness.
No, yeah, yeah, I did theepidural.
I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, I did.
Okay.
No, I wanted to have a naturalbirth, but no, I don't think so.
I had a c-section with my son.
You went to v-back and I didhave a v-back v-back.
It was successful.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah surprises well, but you're.
You're what?
12, 13 years apart?
So yeah they're usually likesure yeah, you're healed, you're
fine, like that's a long enoughtime wow yeah, good for you.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Congrats on that one.
Absolutely thank you.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I know I'm so proud of that too, yeah that's awesome
.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Okay, sorry, so she's there, she's in the room yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So she's in the room, um, and uh, so she comes out
and they put her like on me, oh,and they're cleaning her up,
but she, um, like, wasn'tbreathing I guess.
Oh my gosh, she, she was kindof blue, um, but I don't, I
don't know if it was a sit, Ididn't.
I don't know if they knew thatthe baby was not breathing when
(24:01):
she came out, because the nikkiteam was was in there.
Oh yeah, they had everythingset up.
So I don't, they didn't tell me, they didn't tell her, they
didn't tell anybody.
Wow, oh, and my um.
I know I didn't say this, butmy IPs were Chinese, okay oh,
okay yeah, so, um.
So the baby came out, she wasn'tbreathing, um.
(24:22):
So they took her.
She cut the cord, mom cut thecord, they took her to the
little incubator and they weretrying to get her to come back
or cry, and then we just heardthat.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
Oh, thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, it was just such a relief.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Sorry, is that normal to have the NICU team in there
for a baby delivery?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
No 39 weeks.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I don't think so.
They knew.
They had to have known.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Yeah, was the cord wrapped around her neck?
No, I wonder if her cells wentdown, like if she was, you know,
d-cell?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Yeah Right, it was dipping the last hour, but they,
but they never like, made itseem like it was an issue
because right once I had acontract once that my
contraction stopped, it would goback to normal.
Okay, so, like they, they weresaying she was in distress, but
it wasn't like in distress, likeemergency.
Yeah, um, they let me push,yeah, let me push her out.
(25:25):
And I mean, they never made itseem like it was a nine one.
One thing yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
But since she's already in the pelvic canal and
you're already, you know, 10centimeters and you're pushing,
so it's better to just get herout than to try and go in and do
a C-section.
If she wasn't, if there wasnothing on the monitor, right,
then that becomes that diresituation.
But they were still gettingsomething, obviously.
But good for them to have theNICU in there, right, yeah, and
not to panic you, because that'sthe last thing you need when
(25:51):
you're a baby yeah, yeah, thatwas that was.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
It was kind of scary like at that moment, but then it
was.
I remember looking at the momand and, um, the mom was like,
is she okay?
And I was like, yes, like she'sfine.
And then, um, you know, likethey took her and she was still
holding on to my hand, she wascrying like she was panicking
and um, yeah, when we heard thebaby cry, I was like go to your
baby.
Like you know, go go see yourbaby like that's yours, like go
(26:19):
take care of her.
And yeah, when they, when they,when she started crying, like
immediately they took her theytook her and mom.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
So good, and then did they get to go meet up with dad
yeah, um, you know what?
Speaker 4 (26:33):
I don't know right, yeah, they're probably going to
the NICU, so maybe he was goingthere, who knows?
Speaker 3 (26:36):
gonna go there yeah yeah so then after I delivered,
um, I didn't, I didn't talk tothe ips until like the next day.
Oh yeah, until the next day inthe evening, oh wow, yeah they
didn't even check on you well,no, because I think there was
(26:58):
just so much going on with thebaby, yeah, and and um, so they
moved me downstairs to therecovery, okay, and then.
So I was there and then mycoordinator came with dad.
Um, you know, they brought mesome flowers and I was like, oh,
how's the baby?
(27:18):
And he was just so grateful,like, oh my gosh, liz, like sory
, and and it was, it was just soemotional, right yeah, I'm like
how's the baby?
and he said, like she's fine,like she's in the NICU.
She has to stay for a coupledays, but she's good, good good,
good, did you know her weight?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
did they give you all , like the 9-1-1s, all the info?
The 4-1-1, excuse me, 9-1-1,not an emergency she was 22
inches.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah, yeah, she was long.
Yeah, um, she was six pounds.
Okay, that's good, that's agood size, yeah, but she was so
tiny, like I mean she was longand it was funny because her
feet were like scrunched upbecause she was so long and she
never even looked cute yeahshe's so adorable, so fun,
that's so sweet my mom's likeare you sure that's not your
(28:10):
baby?
Because you looked chinese whenyou were born.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Oh my gosh so do you get to hold her before you leave
the hospital or no, becauseshe's in the NICU?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
yeah.
So then okay.
So then I stayed overnight thenext day.
So then the following day I was, I was uh, discharged, okay,
and you know I texted mom like,hey, do you mind if I come down
to see the baby?
And so she said yeah.
So then we went down to theNICU and the baby was under my
last name, so it was baby, ohlee, yeah, instead of their last
(28:48):
name, um, and so I went down, II let them know, which was kind
of weird because I I told herthem her last name and then they
were like no, and then I waslike, but I just got discharged,
what do you mean?
The baby's not here likethey're so good you know.
And then mom comes out, and thenshe's all oh, you know, she's
under Lee.
So then, yeah, she, let us goback there.
(29:12):
Me and my husband just satthere for like 10 minutes, I
think, but like when I got inthere I could not stop crying,
right.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
I just seen her Look at the beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
you just did yes, yeah, like I just couldn't
believe it.
You just did yes, yeah, like Ijust couldn't believe it, and
then she was like hooked up tolike the monitors and stuff, I
don't know.
It just kind of made me feelsome kind of way.
For sure I get that but she'sthriving now, yeah yeah, yeah,
she's walking and talking.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Oh my gosh everything does she know about you?
I mean, she's what two, somaybe not too little.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Yeah, I don't know.
To be honest, I don't know, Idon't really talk to the parents
too much.
Yeah, they send me a pictureevery now and then I'll text mom
like hey, happy new year orhappy birthday or Merry.
Christmas, every first I send ahappy first birthday.
(30:05):
I send her a gift, so she'llsend me like a picture.
That's sweet, yeah, but otherthan that I don't know yeah, did
you want more?
Speaker 4 (30:14):
did you want to be able to stay in touch, like and
just or no?
It did.
You just didn't know.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Because it was your first journey, you were like I
don't know so I, I didn't knowat first um, I did want it, but
I wasn't sure, like, whateverything was gonna look like
at the end.
Yeah, um, she stayed in thehospital for seven days a week
yeah, a week in the NICU andthen they left.
(30:39):
Like five days later they droveback home, but I got to see her
the day before they left too,at the hotel.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Oh, good, did your son get to go see her like was
she like not really.
I mean he's older, so maybehe's like not even interested so
funny thing about that so myhusband's son.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
He's now 11, so he was nine ten yeah yeah, they.
Well, they were two yearsyounger than what they are now.
Okay, um, they didn't know thatI was pregnant.
I didn't tell them that we weredoing this.
They didn't know the whole timelive with you guys.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
There's like a they do live with you guys.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
They do yeah, wait like okay so like every other
like every other weekend thingor no.
So my, my son lives with mefull-time and he goes with his
dad on the weekends.
And then my other son, he ishere half the time, half the
time with his mom.
Okay, um, but my, my son, he'slike he has, he's so innocent,
(31:43):
like he just doesn't know, likeif he doesn't know he's not
gonna question it.
Okay, he's you know.
And so I wasn't gonna be like oh, hey, I'm having a baby,
because they've they've alwaysexpressed that they want a
sister, that they want a babysister.
So I was like I don't want totell them and have them feel
some kind of way.
So we went throughout thepregnancy I would go to like
(32:04):
school events with him and theteachers would ask him like hey,
you're gonna have a sibling,and he's like no, or like that.
I remember he said theprincipal asked me if you're
pregnant and I said okay, tojust tell him I'm fat, I was
gaining a lot of weight, and Iguess at one point he did tell
her that like, oh, she's justgaining weight, and the
(32:27):
principal never asked after that.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
So okay, yeah, so did you not have like a visible,
like like a bum?
Like if people are asking ifshe's pregnant, yeah you
probably know, I know, but likeI, like I couldn't hide it, like
you would look at me and belike she's pregnant, like you
know like it's that's what it is.
I did ask somebody.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
They the baby was born eight months ago and I
asked them when's the baby due?
So like I've never done thatagain.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
So yeah so it can happen, right, but oh yeah, wow,
I'm just shocked yeah, the factthat you hid it from your kids
who like live with you.
Yeah, my son would be way tooinvested.
He'd be like what's going on?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
yeah, well, I mean my , my younger one, um, his mom is
really nosy, so I know she toldhim that, um, because she asked
my sister in law and then mysister-in-law was like I don't
know, I'm like that's not mybusiness, whatever, um, but but
she, you know, she ended upfiguring out that I was a
(33:27):
surrogate.
So I think she did tell myyounger one and so I think at
the end they, they knew, I meaneverybody, everybody knew did
your family know, yeah, myfamily.
Everybody knew about my kid,okay, okay okay, okay, that is
funny.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I mean props to you.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah, did you pump for the baby or anything like
that.
Did you even go down that road,or no?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I tried.
I did pump for six, six weeks,eight weeks good for you.
But they didn't want the breastmilk.
They didn't.
No, I know, and I kept tellingthem, like she's in the NICU,
it's gonna help her, like herLike let me take it to her Right
.
And no, they didn't want it.
Speaker 5 (34:10):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Yeah.
Were you able to donate it orno, I did.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I was going to a chiropractor during the
pregnancy down the street and Iguess her sister her sister went
to jail or something Like.
I mean Aaron out there doinglaundry but she ended up getting
like custody of the baby and soI gave her the breast milk and
(34:38):
yeah, that worked out.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, very nice.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
That's very.
Look at that Making lemonadeout of lemons.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Yeah, yeah, okay, so you heal really well.
Yes, no complications, okay,awesome.
And then do you get the bugagain.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
You're like I got to do this again, yeah, so then,
okay, so I had the baby and then, like that same.
So I think I had the babyWednesday, I don't remember what
day, yeah, wednesday.
So then we had a tournamentthat weekend I went, and then on
Sunday we had a soccertournament right back into life,
(35:19):
yeah yeah, just like not wasnever pregnant.
I know that we had a, we had apractice or we had a tournament.
Then we had a tournament thenext weekend and then I went to
both and then she's like theteam mom, she's like where, what
, what happened where?
Where's the baby?
Just pop it out and come back,huh.
(35:39):
So, um, but the agency had abrunch on Sunday and I went and,
um, yeah, and I told her likeI'm ready to get back in it,
like, oh, my god, put me in.
So they did um, they got myprofile ready again to get
rematched, um, and, and I gotmatched pretty quick.
Um, I think actually I mighthave had to wait three months to
(36:03):
get rematched okay, that's fairum, but it was still pretty
fast, yeah, still quick, stillfast, yeah, and so I rematched
um with an ip from uh shanghai,oh, yeah yeah, and they were.
They were great.
They were a young couple and umwe matched, so we were going to
(36:26):
go through the process and then, I guess during like the
medical record screening, thedoctor told her that he wanted
her to try um transferring herown embryos to herself first
before getting a surrogate so we, so they broke the match.
Oh, okay, yeah.
So then I got rematched againto a single dad in China.
(36:54):
Oh yeah, he was 50 years old.
Wow, it was pretty crazy.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
But it's an undertaking for him, like you
know.
You're just like wow really,but maybe he just never found
the right partner either.
Yeah, female, whatever.
Wow, okay, that worked out.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
He was a gay single dad.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
So, um, he was saying that hejust wanted to have kids because
it was just he.
I guess he was an only child.
He have kids because it wasjust he.
I guess he was an only he wasan only child.
And his mom was getting olderand it was just him.
So he wanted to have kids ofhis own.
So he had um, a donor, a 26year old donor, um, and then so
(37:38):
we we matched, we did everything, and then we get to like our
transfer and then I find outthat he has a second surrogate
at the same time.
Oh, you find out at transfer.
Yeah, so my husband says thatthis was told to me during the
match meeting.
Really, I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Oh, but your husband remembers, he remembered.
He says he thinks he remembers,okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
It could be one of those things where like you you
know like, you think about itfor a long time, then you start
to question like, did thatactually happen?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
like this or like that?
Yeah, he was doing a dualjourney.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Yeah, having two tandem, tandem journey, yeah,
and.
And so me and the othersurrogate were having transfers
like, um, I think the first onewas like a week apart.
I was first and then she wasnext, and then so the first
transfer again did not work,okay.
So then her first transfer alsodid not work, yeah.
So then we were kind ofquestioning like, oh, you know,
(38:38):
is this going to be a problem?
So we decided to do anothertransfer, so we go into the
second transfer and again she'sdoing the transfer a week apart
and my transfer takes, but hersdoes not, okay.
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Yeah, so one out of four tries.
Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Yeah, so it was a little tough.
So then that whole journey itwas kind of like an eye opener
to all the problems that couldcome with surrogacy.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
It was it was pretty rough.
You're still with the sameagency, right?
So, yeah, they were able tonavigate all of that with you
and be helpful.
They were, yeah, good.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Good.
Yeah they were yeah, good, good, yeah, um.
So we have the, the beta, betaday.
Um, numbers were great, theywere awesome.
They're doubling um.
Numbers were rising fast andgood, okay, um.
So then at some point I waslike oh man, you, you can't tell
if you're having twins ortriplets with the with the hcp
(39:45):
number, but it was so high thatI was questioning like what?
Is happening here yeah,multiples yeah, and so, um, then
.
So then we're good, we'reconfirmed pregnant.
And then my husband and Idecided to take a trip to, like
Big Sur.
Okay, oh, okay, yeah, and um, Ialready had like a feeling like
(40:10):
something was off, and so weget to our hotel.
Well, first of all, a lot ofthings went wrong on that trip
too.
We got to the hotel, we didn'teven have a room.
I booked the wrong hotel forthe wrong date, but we ended up
getting a room and then, um, youknow, we're hanging out, we go
to dinner.
We come back then the next day,where we just ran, we had our
(40:31):
dogs with us, we decided to goon a walk and I just felt like
this huge gush, oh.
And I was like babe, like no,like this is not good.
So I ran to the bathroom andthere's just like blood
everywhere.
Like no, no, no, it was justreally bad.
So I'm like freaking out andcan I ask you, do you think like
(40:52):
?
Speaker 2 (40:52):
were you thinking because you're in the field
right?
Were you thinking worst casescenario?
Or were you thinking likesubchronic hematoma?
Speaker 3 (41:01):
so I I I instantly thought maybe it's a
subchorionic.
Okay, at least I was hoping.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Right, yeah, because those are common.
Yeah, but thought ofmiscarriage.
Actually, no, no, no, I takethat back.
So I did think I was having amiscarriage, just because it was
so much.
Okay, and so we went to thehospital.
We went to the hospital, theydid a scan, um.
(41:30):
We went to the hospital, theydid a scan and, um, like I,
she's asking me these questionslike, um, when was your transfer
?
Like, how far along are you?
And?
And so she's asking me thesequestions, like telling me that
the baby's there, um, and thatshe had found a heartbeat.
Like she didn't tell me, butshe asked me a question.
I don't remember what she askedme, but I was like the baby has
a heartbeat and she's like, oh,I can't tell you.
The doctor will go over it withyou.
(41:50):
Tell me, like, can I look atthe screens?
Like, let me look.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
But she didn't.
So then we go back and thedoctor comes in.
He's telling me that there is aheartbeat, that he sees the
flicker, okay, um, but that the,the baby looks not normal, that
the ember, the sack andeverything doesn't look normal.
So then he talks to, like thedoctor, the fertility doctor,
(42:17):
they end up connecting and he'slike oh well, if you see a, uh,
you know everything, there is asubchorionic and so she's fine,
just have her relax, be on bedrest, yeah okay I'm like okay.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
So so you got one doctor saying things don't look
normal and you got anotherdoctor saying like you're fine,
just go home and rest yeah, itwill happen.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
Yeah, well, they had seen the sack.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah, I wish I had the pictures actually, guys,
because it because, it's big.
Pretty crazy, really, yeah.
So like it's the sac right orlike the you know the yeah, oh,
my God, I can't think.
Speaker 4 (42:54):
The amniotic sac, your uterus, oh, the uterus.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
So it's your uterus, and then you know the little
embryo in the sac.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Yeah, yeah, and so it was kind of like it looked like
a fish.
Oh, it looked like a swedishfish actually.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Yeah, I know the red ones, yeah, yeah, and so on the
side, you know, there was like abig black spot, so that was a
subchorionic white and but, whenthe doctor, he was like it
looks not normal, but there's aflicker, like there's a
heartbeat, so the baby's there.
It's just too small, okay todictate whether it's it's good
or not, okay.
So, um, the fertility doctor's,like she just has subchlorion
(43:37):
and do bed rest.
So I, we went back, I, wedidn't do anything after that,
we drove home and then I had mylike six week appointment.
Um, I was doing monitoring atmy clinic that I worked at and
the doctor, she is amazing, Ilove her, I trust her with my
life.
Obviously I did two retrievalswith her myself, yeah, but, um,
(44:00):
she's just great, dr Davis, andshe, um gave it to me straight.
It's just like this is not anormal growing embryo, okay, um,
the there was like uh, on thepicture that she gave me it was
with the uterus, and then therewas like a line, there was like
a tissue line, oh yeah, and thenthere was like the embryo and
(44:23):
the, the baby and the sack, andthere was like a line, the the
sack was like kind of collapsing, it was like weird, but she
didn't find a flicker, shedidn't find a heartbeat, nothing
, okay.
So they sent those results tomy fertility clinic, um, to the,
the transfer one, yeah.
(44:45):
And then they were like, oh no,like can you come to LA to, so
that the doctor can just checkyou himself?
Speaker 5 (44:54):
Oh to LA.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
So I did.
Speaker 3 (44:55):
The next day my husband and I drove up to LA.
The doctor found a heartbeat.
Really, yeah.
And with like the baby's fine,like there's a heartbeat, like
they're fine.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Huh yeah, and was like the baby's fine, like
there's a heartbeat, likethey're fine.
Huh yeah, so that was uh.
He didn't say anything aboutthe abnormal looking sack or
anything and the tissue line andall that, nothing, huh, okay,
what?
Speaker 3 (45:15):
no, he didn't, and I haven't even told him like so,
the baby, when, like when yousee the flicker, there was a
ring around the heart.
So I had asked him I said, isthat ring normal there?
And he's, he's, like it's fine,but I don't know if it was just
like not to worry me, or for menot to ask questions, or yeah,
(45:38):
right, I don't know, are youstill bleeding at this time?
Speaker 4 (45:41):
because the the um, the hematoma are, you, are, you,
are you not at this time, okay,no, and stops um.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
So then after after that appointment, um, uh, we had
a trip to kentucky to go see myhusband's sister, and so we
flew there and then I had to dolike my 10 week appointment,
okay, and so I did my 10 weekappointment in Louisville, and
(46:12):
when I went there I kind ofalready had a feeling that it
was like not good, and so theyconfirmed that there was no
heartbeat and that it was justnot there anymore, Wow.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
You don't recall losing anything like another
gush or nothing like that.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
No, just absorbed.
Wow, I mean, it was still there, it just had no heartbeat.
No heartbeat.
Okay, the baby was still there.
Speaker 4 (46:44):
Aww, yeah.
What's the intended dad doingthis whole time?
Is he communicating with you,is he?
Speaker 2 (46:49):
just crickets.
First of all, does he speakenglish?
He, he spoke a little bit ofenglish, okay very little.
That makes it challenging Iknow with wechat.
It makes it easier, but it'sstill challenging.
So you were must have beengoing through the agency and the
agency was keeping him updated.
Speaker 3 (47:04):
Yeah, yeah, well, we were on wechat, so I would give
him the updates there and hewould respond yeah, okay, but um
, like I was giving him theupdates, so when I started
bleeding I didn't message him, Imessaged my coordinator and she
got in contact with them to letthem know, um, but then when I
saw a heartbeat, or when theycome from the heartbeat and the
(47:26):
picture, I sent them the picture, yeah, and he was super excited
and yeah.
But then when I miscarried andall that stuff, like there was
just crickets, like nothing,absolutely nothing, yeah.
And so crickets from him, yeah,okay, yeah.
(47:47):
And so, um, crickets from him,yeah, okay.
So then, um, they gave me theoption to do the pill or to let
it pass naturally or do a dnc,um, but I was just kind of over
it at that point and I was likeI just want to, you know, just
let my, you know, get it out,yeah and um, so my, my doctor
(48:10):
that I worked with, she did adnc.
They sent it out for testingand it was normal.
I was, the tissue was normal.
So I don't, I don't know, Idon't know what happened just a
fluke one.
Speaker 2 (48:23):
Yeah, that's very sad .
Speaker 4 (48:26):
So you don't continue on with him, no, right.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
No, I broke the match with him after that because
three out of four.
And then a miscarriage abnormalmiscarriage.
And to not get the support orany check-in, just like you know
, just like the humanness of it,right, right, yeah that's super
and I think that was kind oftough because, like, he didn't
(48:53):
even say like I hope you'redoing okay or like how right,
like any question, and I mean Idid fine, I didn't have any
connection, you know, to theembryo.
Yeah, they need to ham and thatthing, so it was okay, um, but
I think I think my feelings justgot hurt.
Then I still tell my husbandlike I can't believe you didn't
(49:16):
even ask if I was okay.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Right, because it's the human body through right
it's the human decency to belike, are you, are you okay?
Like you were doing this thingfor me.
I don't know, I right, and Ihate to say it like that,
because, but like if I was anintended parent, I would
definitely feel myself like areyou okay?
Like I'm hurting this is awful,like yes, but are you okay too?
(49:38):
Like thank you, you know, fortrying and doing this, like
right, I'd want to assure, butthen again, right, I'm biased
because I'm a surrogate, butlike I would want to and I
wouldn't want to make you knowthat I appreciate you and I
don't think it's your faultright I think that's what every
surrogate wants to hear.
I appreciate you.
I don't think it's your fault.
(49:59):
I think science is science andthings are going to happen and
I'm in a lot of pain and I needtime and I hope you're okay,
like if I were to get that right.
Okay, sending you my love Talkwhenever, like simple cutoff,
totally fine, yep.
So yeah, it makes sense whyyour feelings were hurt, like
(50:20):
that's a really dramatic thing.
Speaker 4 (50:22):
When did this all happen, Liz?
How far ago.
Speaker 3 (50:26):
So this was in 2024, so march last year.
Yeah, last year, okay marchmarch 13th, 2024.
Knows the date?
Yeah, what's my brother'sbirthday?
Speaker 2 (50:38):
so oh my gosh, first your husband's birthday.
People just gotta stop havingbirthdays yeah yikes yeah, but
that was so then.
Speaker 3 (50:48):
So then I had talked to my coordinator.
I guess he wanted to do anothertransfer with you.
He was open to doing anotherone, yeah with with you the
person you didn't like check inwith?
Yeah, with both of us, with meand the other surrogate but so
the other surrogate had held offbecause she wanted to see what
was going on first, right, right, so I made the decision to
(51:13):
break match, and then she brokethe match with him too.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Okay, yeah yeah, did you know her?
Did you ever meet her?
Speaker 3 (51:20):
no, I didn't, but I guess she was, um she's friends
with one of the uh coordinatorsat my agency.
Okay, um, so I have like seenher profile, but I, you know, I
would always tell her like, tellher I said good luck and like
right, you know, yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (51:40):
So does nothing after mark like are you done?
Are you thinking taking time?
Are you trying it again?
Speaker 3 (51:46):
no, so we went right back into it.
You did, oh my god, like backto back.
Okay, yeah, so then.
Okay.
So then I start my next journeyum, again, I get matched, and
then with another couple inchina, and um, we matched.
(52:07):
We're gonna go through theprocess.
But I think when they werereviewing my records, the doctor
had told the ifp that theywanted me to do a hysteroscopy.
Okay, and he was like oh, no,no, I think she needs too much
testing, so let's just break thematch.
So they broke the match wowdude.
Speaker 4 (52:23):
Most everybody has to have a hysteroscopy.
I mean that's just normal, thatthat's they want to just see if
you can hold the fluid like no,but he was like no.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
She needs too many testing.
I need to do my job and I don'tfeel like wait.
Speaker 4 (52:34):
That was the ivf doctor, not the family, who said
she needs too much testing theidea, the family did that.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
oh, just kidding, sorry doctor.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
I like being like what a rude doctor Never mind my
bad Sorry.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Oh, no, the dad.
My records were approved withthe same clinic, but the dad was
like she needs too many thingsand so they broke the match.
I'm sorry.
Okay well on to better, yeah, sothen I get rematched.
Oh my gosh, my Lord.
Well onto better.
Yeah, so then I get rematched.
(53:10):
Oh my gosh, so I get rematchedwith a, um, another couple, and
she's so great like she's, shewas really nice and, and, um, I,
I wish everything worked outfor her, but it unfortunately I
didn't either.
Um, yeah, we, so then we gothrough everything.
Uh, we ended up doing threetransfers, oh, wow, yeah, and
(53:33):
they all failed too uh, weretheir hair, her eggs, or or did
they get donor?
they were hers they were hereggs, her eggs and and and his
sperm and um but um.
He was transferring embryosfrom one clinic to another and
(53:54):
yeah and there was just a lotgoing on um the first transfer.
Actually I I was.
I'm not like a habitual tester.
I will literally test the nightof transfer, oh my god, I love
you and I have no shame becauseI will test.
I want to see the progressionin lines.
Yeah, I get that, I feel thatgotcha and um, so I I was
(54:16):
testing every day and then, Ithink like day four in the
evening, I got a line, um, andby day eight it was gone.
Oh yeah, so it was trying, butit just it didn't.
And we did two more and then inbetween I did a hysteroscopy, I
(54:37):
did endometrial biopsy, wow, ohmy god um I mean, everything
was normal with me, everythingwas fine, but it just it didn't
work that's a shame, yeah I'msorry to hear that.
Speaker 4 (54:54):
So now, yeah, so when does that all end?
Because to do three transfers,that's, that's a good, that's a
lot.
And if this eight, nine, tenlike and that was only march of
24 that the other thing happenedright with the guy.
So when yeah when do you breakmatch?
Speaker 3 (55:07):
obviously so she actually broke the match with me
.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So now I'm, I'm on the searchagain, but I'm not very hopeful
actually.
No, I'm wrong, because theagency actually did match me.
Or I had a meeting with um,another couple from china, but
(55:30):
um, he was also 50, he was like57, wow, and she was younger.
He already had kids.
She had two older kids.
Okay, um, but I don't knowsomething like in me and even my
husband was saying like youhave, you know that history with
an older couple or an older man, you don't know, you don't want
(55:52):
to go through that.
And then yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (55:54):
So I told the agency no, yeah, you have to go with
what feels right for you.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (56:00):
Yeah, so I'm hoping Okay.
Speaker 4 (56:04):
Yeah, okay.
Well, good luck to you, becauseI hope you've been through
enough.
It's time.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
Yeah, good vibes coming your way, I know actually
, geez, you don't seem to belike a match though no, you
don't seem hard to be matched.
Speaker 3 (56:18):
No, no, no, I think this time it's taking a little
bit longer, but that's okay Imean as an ip, like, well, I'm
not an ip, like if I was an IP Iwould probably be.
Really I mean, who wouldn't?
It's three failed transfers, amiscarriage.
Speaker 4 (56:35):
Oh, I see.
So you're saying they're peoplelike that and have had an open
mind to ask the questions likethey're out there and they yeah,
you know there.
Speaker 2 (56:55):
There are people out there that are like that, that
are like well, that wasn't myembryo.
What does the doctor say like?
Speaker 4 (57:00):
what does my doctor say like things like that so,
and if the agency is willing tomatch you and keep you in their
rotation and the IVF doctor hascleared you, you're fine, it's
not, it's nothing.
It's the circumstances that weredealt with.
I mean, when you well, I won'teven go there, but when you were
talking about the one story andI'm just like, oh, this doesn't
(57:22):
sound, and he was doing dual ortandem, as you use the word,
I'm thinking, hmm, maybe healready knows something's up and
he's just trying, you know,more bang for the buck or, you
know, just trying to getsomething to take.
I feel bad for him.
I hope he's gone on to find, tobe able to have children, if he
, if that's really what hisdream was.
But you've had enough, you, you, you need, you need a couple in
(57:43):
their thirties who just kidsand just, yes, do it, it, yeah,
that's that live in san diegotoo, would be nice.
Speaker 3 (57:49):
Oh my god dream, dream watch you're gonna show up
tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
You're gonna get a profile tomorrow watch I know, I
know, oh, my gosh love it yeahI just, I just wish they were
more understanding.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Like I know, not everybody knows about ivf and
you know how it works and andthe statistics of it and being a
surrogate and how that worksand yeah and but I, I mean, if I
didn't have the informationthat I, that I know, I, if I was
an IPA, I'd be like no, I wouldwant someone that is perfect, I
get that.
Speaker 2 (58:19):
Who's perfect.
Speaker 4 (58:21):
I know If you're a first time surrogate, you're not
a proven surrogate, so thatcan't be considered perfect,
right, right if?
If you're a third timesurrogate and the first two went
well, doesn't mean you'reperfect, right, it's.
It's everything you know,science, it's everything
together yeah, yeah, no, you'rewho knows.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
I mean, that's the reason that we like started the
podcast to begin with, right tospread education and awareness
about things that aren't reallytalked about or that aren't,
that aren't really like outthere to help you understand,
and so maybe somebody's gonnahear this and be like I, like
Liz wait, she seems great Idon't care about all that, let
me talk to her.
Speaker 4 (58:57):
Let me talk to her, let me know all this you know
what I mean, because I, honestly, half of it is the match.
It's the people who are doingthis together.
It really is.
There's got to be the supportand there's got to be the
understanding, and we're workingtowards an end goal, which is a
baby, a healthy baby and whenit's meant to be, it'll be.
Yeah, it's going to happen foryou.
Yes, it is, and it sounds likeyou've got a great agency.
(59:19):
Did you want to give them aplug?
Because they sound like they'rephenomenal?
Speaker 5 (59:31):
Seriously road to baby in carl's band okay I was
like I think you're I thinkyou're the surrogate that I
follow.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
That's with road to baby oh yeah, I'm pretty sure
it's her.
Speaker 3 (59:36):
That's a cool name, that's awesome and they're
amazing.
I mean they're so supportiveand throughout the whole journey
.
I mean they're always giftingyou stuff throughout your
journey too, like send you likeall these gift bags, and I mean
it's cool to know that, like youknow, someone cares, even if
that's why you're with an agency, because there are times and
you needed it over yeah, yeah,you needed it because some
(59:58):
surrogates.
Speaker 4 (59:59):
Don't need it at all because everything's just like
we got it, we're great, right,and that's the dream.
But more often than not,there's going to be a hiccup and
you're going to need somebodyin your corner.
So so, thank God, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
And they're amazing Like they always backed me up on
everything, like I know withwith the second journey that
that I had the miscarriage youknow there was.
There was stuff with somepayments and stuff like that,
and they were always like on topof it to get everything done.
And I mean I love them.
I don't have anything bad tosay about them.
(01:00:30):
They are the best agency I'veever worked with and I've
reached out to multiple andtheir process is just so easy
like I literally don't know.
Throughout the first journey Ididn't have to question anything
, I didn't have to do anything,just sign, sign the paper, read
and sign.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
Good.
Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Glad, happy for you.
Yeah, shout out to road to baby.
Speaker 5 (01:00:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
You've got a supporter in Liz yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
You are one strong woman.
I will say that you aredetermined and strong, and
that's you know very needed incircus.
Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
yet yeah, pretty happy and stuff.
So I don't know.
I think your husband needs totake another look, you don't?
Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
need to be pregnant.
It's because he's not here.
No, yeah, there you go there,you go.
Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
His energy's not in the house yeah, oh how funny oh
my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Well, do you have any advice to give anyone that's
like looking to become a firsttime surrogate, or like for
their next journey?
Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
um advice.
Let's see.
Well, if you're trying to be asurrogate or if you've been
thinking about being a surrogate, just do it.
Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
I love it just do it before I hit record just decide
no.
Before I hit record.
Before you popped on mom.
I was talking to Liz, I waslike I love all your tattoos.
She was like thank you.
I'm like I really want a halfsleeve, but I like don't know,
and she's like just do it yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
There you go.
I think that's your mantra.
Just do it, it's your motto.
Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
I mean, do your research on your agencies.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
But yeah, if you've been, if you've been looking
into it like, just you need thatpush.
This is your, this is your sign.
Just do it.
I love it.
It's some of the best advice.
Yep, yeah, yep, dive right in.
Right, yep, dive in.
You should.
You'll figure it out as you go.
We're all here to help you.
Yeah, well, good luck to youGood luck.
Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
I hope it all works out for you.
Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Thank you, I do too, I hope so.
Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Keep us posted I mean I follow you so like I'll keep.
It's so funny.
I was like I think she's withroad to baby.
Why, I know that, but I knowthat.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I know that Maybe you've postedabout it, or maybe I don't know
.
Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
I have a few times okay, yeah okay, because I like
stuck in my head and I tag themon all of like my surrogacy
stuff too.
Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Okay, yeah, because I think you're the only surrogate
that I know that's with them.
Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
That's the first time their name yeah, which is weird
because it's a california-basedagency, but it's just not la, I
know, like all the la ones,it's just yeah, I didn't know
that one, san diego.
Now I do there, you go now I do, yeah, lovely, they're awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
And the owner she's great, she's amazing, I love her
.
Shout out to jen no, thank you,that's perfect, thanks for
sharing all that with us.
Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
Oh my gosh, that's a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
I know, sorry no don't be sorry.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (01:03:28):
Never apologize, never, and you were so positive
through all of it and you'relike, okay, then this happened
and that I was like I know thisgirl has been through the ringer
, but you're gonna get it again.
It's gonna happen again.
Yeah, it just.
It's just not that right matchyet.
It's just not there.
Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
They're there yeah, they're out there, yeah, and
they're gonna hear this and belike I love liz, like and you're
gonna have like six people go.
Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I want her.
Yeah, yeah, really, get tochoose, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
And you know it's funny, because I love being a
surrogate so much that when Iwas working with my doctor, with
Dr Davis, I would tell her likehey, dr Davis, like you know,
if this patient needs, she wouldsay like, be a surrogate for
these patients, a joke, I don'tknow if she was joking around,
but she would say it and I'd belike you know what, just put
them all in me and I'll havethem all like like baby roulette
(01:04:12):
.
Speaker 4 (01:04:15):
And we can DNA test them when they come out.
Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
Yeah, I wish I could help everybody.
Oh right, Wouldn't that?
Speaker 4 (01:04:21):
you got the right heart, liz.
That's that's well.
That's the heart behind asurrogate I wish.
I could help everybody Yep.
So more power to you, girl,good luck.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
Again, I know that was a lot to share, but I we so
appreciate it.
We really do.
We really really do andhopefully we'll see you at the
next brunch, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
That would be really fun If you're not doing anything
tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
Okay.
Sounds good, sounds good I knowI have work.
I know that pesky little thing,a job.
All right, thank you so much.
Yeah, thanks so much.
All right, you take care.
Good luck, man.
She had, she had a rollercoaster, yeah, with all the
loops like oh my god, I'm soimpressed because she just kept
(01:05:09):
the positivity up and thatthat's hard to do, but she's
clearly not hard to match noshe's been matched several times
.
Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
No, oh, it's not a.
Speaker 4 (01:05:19):
I really don't think that that the history of
whatever you want to call allthat has anything to do with it
I you know, because you got tolook into why that history.
Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
You gotta look at each I would like to look into
why and I you got to look ateach scenario I would like to
look into why, and I would too.
Obviously there are but butright, but just how like?
Surrogates want particular IPs,IPs want particular surrogates
we get that, we get that, butthere is definitely somebody out
there.
Oh God, yes, yeah, yeahabsolutely.
Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
There's so many people in the world.
So during your journey, Liz,you'll have to come back on when
you're pregnant again.
Speaker 5 (01:05:50):
No, no, when she has the baby.
Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
Okay, I like talking to them in between.
I like talking to them whenthey're not having a baby.
Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Okay, well then, sure , let's do that, ellen.
Speaker 4 (01:05:57):
Let's do that Just to find out how things are going,
just to get excited.
A mid-checkup and people canget going to have a baby.
Countdown, countdown to baby.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
I like it, I love it.
All right, Okay Well, thank youso much, Liz.
If anybody has any questions orstories they would like to
share, please feel free to reachout to us on Instagram at stop
period sit period surrogate, oryou guys can reach out in an
email at stop period sit periodsurrogate at gmailcom.
Speaker 4 (01:06:22):
Thanks for listening everybody.
It's been another edition ofStop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy
and Ellen.
Bye Bye.
Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Hey everyone.
If you ever thought aboutbecoming a surrogate, I want to
share something with you.
Speaker 5 (01:06:33):
Stop Sit Surrogate is now a matching and referral
agency that helps guide youthrough the very first steps of
your journey.
We'll walk with you untilyou're matched and connected
with a trusted agency thatsupports you all the way through
.
It's such a meaningful processand knowing you're not alone
makes a huge difference.
So if you're curious aboutsurrogacy or ready to take that
first step, check us out atstopsitsurrogatecom.
Speaker 4 (01:06:56):
If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a
like and subscribe.
Also, check out the link to ourYouTube channel in the
description, and be sure to alsocheck out our children's book
my Mom has Superpowers, Sold onAmazon and Etsy.
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