💡 Breaking Free from Success Traps: Reclaim Your Power and Redefine Success

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Have you ever achieved something impressive only to discover it didn't bring the fulfillment you expected? This episode shares the powerful journey of a client (called "Jessie" for privacy) who found herself in exactly this position – working on the most prestigious project of her career yet feeling profoundly unhappy.

The story begins with an unexpected phone call after a podcast recording. Despite being among the most accomplished, confident, and creative people I know, Jessie reached out in a moment of vulnerability to share her struggle. Though externally successful, she was miserable, and her prestigious position was negatively affecting both her performance and personal life. This moment of courage – what Brené Brown would describe as "the willingness to show up and be seen, even when vulnerable and afraid" – became the catalyst for profound transformation.

Our work together centered around a simple but powerful insight: Jessie already knew the answers she needed but hadn't been asking herself the right questions. Through our sessions, she redefined what success truly meant to her, recognizing that her strengths were tools to be used intentionally rather than defaults that should dictate her path. Three months later, Jessie made the bold decision to walk away from the prestigious project, creating a life of her own design that brought genuine happiness and fulfillment.

This episode reminds us that success is deeply personal. The very achievements we chase can sometimes stand in the way of becoming who we truly want to be. As you listen, I encourage you to reflect on your own definition of success. Are you living in alignment with your values, or letting external expectations guide your choices? You know the answers – you just need to start asking the right questions.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there.
So I want to share a true storywith you about one of my
clients.
I've changed the name forprivacy.
Let's just call her Jessie.
This client faced a pivotalmoment in her life and her story
highlights the power oflistening to your inner wisdom

(00:20):
and finding the courage toredefine what success truly
means.
It's a reminder that sometimes,the most important shifts
happen when we allow ourselvesto be vulnerable and to ask
ourselves the right questions.

(00:43):
It was a late afternoon on acold, snowy day in February 2020
, and, like everybody else in2020, I was working from home.
I had just signed off fromhosting a podcast interview with
Jesse, who is among one of themost interesting and
accomplished people I know.

(01:03):
I was walking toward thekitchen to stretch my legs and
make a cup of tea when my cellphone rang.
It was Jessie.
I assumed it was somethingabout the conversation we had
just recorded for the pod.
To my surprise, it wassomething quite different.
She thanked me again forholding space for her in our

(01:26):
conversation and said thatsomething had shifted in her.
After we had talked, she askedif it would be okay to share.
I repeat Jesse is one of themost accomplished, confident,
creative people that I knowconfident, creative people that

(01:49):
I know.
The moment Jessie picked up thephone was a powerful testament
to her courage and vulnerability, showing how listening to your
inner wisdom and facing yourfears can truly lead to
transformative change.
And let's own it Change can befear-inducing.
Let's own it.
Change can be fear inducing.
But, according to Brene Brown,courage is the willingness to

(02:10):
show up and be seen, even whenyou're vulnerable and afraid.
It's about choosing to beauthentic and expressing your
true self, even when it mightlead to discomfort or
uncertainty.
And it's also about having thehard conversations, asking for
what you need and sharing howyou're feeling, all while

(02:31):
embracing vulnerability.
This is exactly where Jessie waswhen she asked me if we could
speak.
Naturally, I said yes.
She went on to tell me that,although she was working on the
most prestigious project of herlife, she was miserable.

(02:55):
It just wasn't bringing her thejoy she had expected and it was
affecting her job performanceand her life.
I acknowledged and validatedher feelings about her
predicament and I honored herfor her courage to reach out.
I have to figure it out.

(03:16):
I just can't go on like this.
I don't know what I'm going todo.
She said, I listened and then Itold her that she knew all the
answers but just hadn't beenasking the right questions.
And then I stopped talking.
There was a long silence on theother end of the phone.

(03:40):
There was a time when thatsilence would have felt
painfully awkward for me and Imight have rushed in to fill it
in with explanations of how Icould help her.
But I waited patiently instead,while Jesse considered what I

(04:00):
had just told her, knowing fullwell that her silence is the
sound of deeper insight.
When she spoke again, she wasdetermined to dig in and
discover what those questionswere.
We started to work together thevery next day.

(04:21):
I helped Jessie to reconsiderand redefine her definition of
what success means to her.
I challenged her to see thather strengths are useful tools,
not defaults, and I helped hersee that how she chooses to
engage in life is entirely up toher and connected to her values

(04:47):
, which can and will shift.
Three months later in thespring, I was outside my garden
enjoying the morning sun whenJessie called again.
She told me that she had walkedaway from the prestigious gig
and is happier and moresuccessful in life and career

(05:09):
than she ever could haveimagined back on that cold
February day, when she firstcalled me, and that our work
together helped her realize thatsuccess meant much more to her
than another award or credit onher resume.
What Jessie is doing now is notimportant.

(05:31):
What matters is that she wasable to create a life of her own
design, and I am so honored tohave helped her uncover what she
already knew.
Success is personal.
Like Jessie, I refuse to bedefined by what I've done or

(05:56):
make choices based on what Ithink I should be doing next
should be doing next.
I understand that success isoften the very thing that stands
in the way of becoming who Iknow I can truly be, and even if
I don't know what that is rightnow, I am open to be courageous
and vulnerable and to live acreated life of possibilities

(06:25):
life of possibilities.
As you reflect on Jesse's story, I encourage you to ask
yourself what does successreally mean to you?
Are you living in alignmentwith your true values or letting
external expectations dictateyour choices?
You know the answers, my friend.

(06:46):
You just got to start askingthe right questions.
I'm Lisa Hopkins.
Thanks so much for listening.
Stay safe and healthy andremember to live in the moment.