💡 Coaching Insights: Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen

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Ever stood frozen at the edge of sharing your creative work, paralyzed by what others might think? You're not alone. 

The moment we consider making something private into something public, our brains construct elaborate stories about potential judgment, criticism, and rejection. But what if these "high stakes" are merely illusions? This coaching conversation dives deep into the psychology behind our fear of being seen and offers a powerful reframe: stakes only exist if we decide they do.

When that voice in your head grows louder, telling you to stay hidden, it's actually a sign you're approaching something deeply important. "Fear is a mask for desire," as we explore in this episode. That protective instinct intensifies precisely when you're closest to what you truly want. Understanding this pattern can transform how you approach vulnerability and creative expression.

We also confront the "grandiose thinking" that makes us believe others are deeply invested in judging our work when, in reality, most people are far more concerned with their own lives than with critiquing yours. The truly important question isn't what others might think, but rather: What about the stakes of regret for not trying at all?

Whether you're a creator, performer, entrepreneur, or simply someone who hesitates to speak up in meetings, this episode provides the perspective shift needed to move past fear and into authentic expression. Ready to rewrite the stories that keep you playing small? Listen now and discover what becomes possible when you release the imaginary stakes holding you back.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
We've all been there, holding back from sharing our
work, our voice or ourcreativity because of what
people might think.
The moment something privatebecomes public, the stakes
suddenly feel higher.
But what if those stakes aren'treal?
What if they're just stories wetell ourselves to keep us safe?
In this coaching insight, fromthe room where it happens, we

(00:24):
explore the fear of being seen,why our primitive brain tries to
stop us from stepping into whatwe truly want, and how to
reframe the stakes so they nolonger hold us back.
If you've ever felt paralyzedby the fear of judgment, this
one's for you.
Let's dive in.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
And then, but the thought of putting it onto my
Instagram, because now thatincreases the stakes, right,
because now people are seeing it, you know, and people can
comment, and you know people can, you know, make comments of
like.
You know, well, you know you'renot as good as so-and-so or
something, and now like, wherethis, this, this photo that I

(01:04):
once liked when it was just melooking at it, now has far more,
greater stakes involved.
You know, how do you, how doyou get around?
That, I think, is what Istruggle with, well, they're
only stakes.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
If you make them stakes Also, it's a lie, it's
it's.
It's your primitive braincoming in trying to keep you
safe.
And the closer you get to doingwhat you really want to do but
you've never done it beforebecause it's scary the louder
that voice is going to get.
The stakes are high stakes.
What could happen?
Are you doing it because youcare what people think?

(01:39):
This is so important, though,because it holds us all back so
much.
It's like grandiose thinking,really.
We think that people care, thatpeople do not care.
We care way more.
We're so worried about theother people because we care so
much, but you can't control whatother people think, and if

(02:00):
you're doing whatever you do,whether it's you're being nice
to somebody because you careabout what they think about you,
then what kind of what's goingon there?
I mean, think about it, thinkabout.
Nobody would do anything if weworried about what other people
think.
And also, yes, there's a worldin which there are actors that

(02:21):
got a role and it changed theirlives.
You know a young person whodirected his first show and
ended up with three Tonys, oryou know, and a woman who
started, you know, photographyfrom nothing and suddenly just
went viral.
I mean that, yeah, sure thathappens and you could find
things that happen.
Is your goal to be the viralperson?
Is your goal to win the award?
Is your goal?
We get lost in this?

(02:42):
Two things.
One is it's your primitivebrain, so it's normal.
When you get scared, when thefear amps up, that means you're
getting closer to your edge.
Fear is a mask for desire.
Fear is a mask for desire.
When you get scared, it meansbecause you really want it,
because, yes, the stakes arehigh, but the stakes don't
belong to the other people,they're your stakes

(03:06):
Vulnerability.
What about the stakes of regretfor not trying?