🌱 Never Assume That It Goes Without Saying: Love Out Loud 💜

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We explore how the common phrase "it goes without saying" creates missed opportunities for meaningful connection and how explicitly expressing our feelings strengthens our relationships.

• Examining the dangers of assuming our feelings are understood without expression
• Why important emotions like love, pride, and gratitude should never remain unspoken
• The difference in impact between assumed versus explicitly stated feelings
• How emotional shortcuts lead to disconnection in both personal and professional relationships
• Why saying "I appreciate you" sometimes carries more weight than "I love you"
• The reciprocal benefits of expressing pride and appreciation
• Finding fresh ways to express common sentiments to maintain their power

The challenge is to practice not assuming feelings "go without saying." Share your experience with expressing feelings you normally keep unsaid - I'd love to hear from you!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey there, I've been thinking a lot about the
expression.
It goes without saying it's afunny one, it goes without
saying.
Does it really go withoutsaying?
I mean, is it ever a good ideato assume that people know how

(00:24):
we feel, that it's obviousenough and doesn't need
repeating?
What conclusions are we makingwhen people don't respond to our
feelings as we expected becausewe assumed that they already
knew how we felt?
Have you ever said somethingyou regretted in the heat of the

(00:45):
moment and then just assumedthe other person knew you didn't
mean it, maybe even opting outof apologizing, taking for
granted that it is understoodthat you didn't mean it at all?
This emotional shortcut has ledto much unnecessary

(01:05):
disconnection.
At a certain point inrelationships, both personal and
professional, we stopexpressing how we feel and
simply assume that it's known.
Instead, an assumption isdefined as a willingness to
accept something is true withoutquestion or proof.
So how many things then?

(01:30):
How many things that we assumeare obvious or go without saying
don't actually go at all?
They're lost in the translationor the lack of translation.
And even if the feelings aremutual or understood, what
opportunities are we missing fordeeper, more meaningful
connection in our relationshipswhen we opt not to say it or

(01:54):
express it out loud andreinforce the sentiment.
Take a moment to think about thethings in your life that you
assume or even expect to gowithout saying.
I'll go first.
It goes without saying that Ilove my daughter unconditionally

(02:18):
.
It goes without saying that Iam grateful for my family and it
goes without saying that I'mproud of my friend.
But wait a second.
If I'm assuming that it goeswithout saying, what am I

(02:39):
missing when I think about mydaughter?
What can I grow and share andexpand and increase in our
connection by telling her I loveyou unconditionally?
Gratitude for family.
Well, I hear it over and overagain.
People tell me I'm so gratefulfor my family, my family means
so much to me.

(02:59):
But how many of us actually sayit to our family?
And it goes without saying thatI'm proud of you.
But does it?
You know, my dad recently toldme that he was proud of me.
You know, my dad recently toldme that he was proud of me.

(03:20):
He didn't need to say itbecause it goes without saying,
doesn't it?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I hope that he's proudof me and I look for signs that
he's proud of me.
But boy oh boy, when he told meunequivocally how proud of me
he is, he just can't replacethat.
It does not go without saying.

(03:42):
Don't let these things gowithout saying, my friends.
Think about it.
Don't cheat yourself of thebeautiful connection available
to you.
By saying how you feel, by beingclear, by never assuming that

(04:03):
people know how you feel, howmight you demonstrate what is
already known in a differentlight?
Maybe you've said I love you amillion times in the same way,
but it starts to feel nodifferent when you say times in
the same way, but it starts tofeel no different when you say I
love you, as if you said I'mtired.
Same tone, same tenor, sameenergy, or I'm hungry, I'm bored

(04:24):
.
In fact, I've heard people sayI'm hungry with a lot more
passion than I love you.
Oh, I'm so hungry.
And then there's I hate you orI hate that.
Well, hate seems to elicit amore intense physical response,
doesn't it?
I hate it when that happens.

(04:45):
When someone does that, I mean,I can feel it.
It's visceral and it'seffective in matching the
physical feeling with thesentiment.
But when was the last time youactually felt love or a positive
feeling, pride, when youexpressed it for someone you
love or for yourself.
That feeling of being proud,it's reciprocal.

(05:08):
When you tell someone thatyou're proud of them, it makes
you feel good.
If you really feel it, it willcome back at you.
It's an energetic exchange.
And you know what I have foundmore connection with people when
they say to me I appreciate youthan I love you.
It's said so often I love youstarts to lose its power,

(05:32):
especially when it's not felt,or especially when it's assumed
that it goes without saying.
What if your partner, whoalways says I love you at the
end of a phone call or alwayskisses you goodnight and says I
love you, said I appreciate youinstead?
What are other ways that we canexpress how we feel so that it

(05:56):
does not go without saying orthat we say it by rote?
It goes without saying that Iam grateful for you for
listening, dear listener, butdoes it?
How would you know that if Idid not say it?
And it does not go withoutsaying that you're enjoying this
.
Why not send a message?

(06:17):
Why not engage?
Why not tell me that you'reenjoying this?
Why not send a message?
Why not engage?
Why not tell me that you'reenjoying this?
That's my challenge to you, notbecause I want you to reach out
and listen to the podcast tellme how great it is, but to
practice, not assuming that itgoes without saying.
I promise you, my friends, thatby saying that you like

(06:39):
somebody, by saying that youwere impressed by something, by
saying that you feel a certainway in all aspects of your life,
with those you love, with thosethat maybe you feel for granted
without realizing it and, forgoodness sake, for yourself, it
does not go without saying.

(07:00):
I'm Lisa Hopkins.
Thanks so much for listening.
Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the
moment.