🌍 Where You Come From Matters —and it isn't a place 💫

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A chance encounter on a train becomes a moment to challenge assumptions about nationality and kindness. When an elderly couple attributes my patience to being Canadian, I return to clarify that values, not citizenship, define our interactions with others.

• Reassuring an anxious elderly couple that their pace wasn't inconveniencing me
• Couple assuming my kindness was because I was Canadian
• Returning to explain I'm a dual citizen and my kindness comes from within
• Reflecting on how assumptions rob us of authentic connections
• Understanding that values, not nationality, shape our interactions
• Making choices that create space for reflection and deeper understanding

Remember to live in the moment.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there.
So I was on the train a fewweeks ago, returning from a
lovely visit with my dad inOttawa, and I was boarding the
train and just ahead of me inthe aisle were an older couple.
Now I say older, thoughtruthfully they probably weren't
that much older than I'll besoon enough, but they felt older

(00:22):
to me in that moment.
Anyways, the point is that theyweren't speedy or agile, and so
were taking a bit of timegetting their luggage situated.
When they noticed I was in theaisle waiting, their zipping and
tripping became frantic, whichof course, didn't help at all
with them going faster, slowdown to speed up.

(00:44):
I thought Don't worry aboutwhat others think about you.
Focus on what you want, in thiscase to get settled, not what
you don't want like annoying theother passengers, in this case
me.
As they looked back over theirshoulder and smiled at me
apologetically, I smiled backand told them not to worry.

(01:07):
The train wasn't going todepart any sooner because I got
to my seat faster.
They were visibly relieved.
They went on to remark that noone in London would ever have
been as kind and courteous as Ihad been, would ever have been
as kind and courteous as I hadbeen no one in all of London,

(01:28):
really.
They told me they had beentraveling for three weeks and
were on their way home.
We exchanged a few moreniceties and I made my way back
to my seat a few rows back.
I felt good that I was able tohelp them not feel so stressed,
especially after what I learnedhad been a long trip away.
Isn't it funny that, no matterhow far you might have traveled

(01:50):
on your journey, that last legof the trip home always seems
the longest.
Anyways, I sat down in my seatand I reflected on what they had
said to me, and the more Ithought about it, the more I
felt something rising inside ofme that well, that needed to be

(02:12):
spoken.
It would have been so easy tohave ignored it and complied
with the well unspokenconventions of travel etiquette
or talking to strangers, but thevoice of my inner agent.
It's far stronger than thewarnings of my inner critic that

(02:32):
were trying to hold me back.
It was only a few minutes whenI decided not to resist the urge
and chose instead to follow myinner voice.
It was worth risking judgment,because it felt important,
important to clarify somethingthat I was concerned might have
been assumed or misinterpreted.

(02:54):
Hello again, I said, leaningnow over their seat, back where
they were now sitting, stillwiping their brows now, but
visibly relieved to be somewhatsettled.
I'm sure that when you go backto the UK you'll mention the
very nice Canadian girl youencountered on the train from
Ottawa.
Oh yes, they nodded inagreement, absolutely.

(03:18):
Well, here's the thing.
I went on to tell them that I'ma dual citizen of Canada and
the United States and that Iwanted to be clear that being
Canadian has nothing to do withhow nice I am.
Had we met in New York City, Iwent on to say our encounter
would have been the same.
You see, it isn't about acountry or where somebody is

(03:41):
from.
It's about where a person comesfrom on the inside.
The nice girl you met on thetrain is Lisa.
I wish them a safe rest oftheir trip back and took my seat
again.
I've never felt comfortable withassumptions, good or otherwise,
that are made about people,this incessant need to assign

(04:02):
meaning to why someone is theway they are instead of simply
meeting them where they're at.
It's automatic and it robs usof a gift.
If we become more able torespond to and experience each
person as an individual, webegin to realize that we're all

(04:24):
connected, that every person weencounter is a fellow passenger
in life's journey, doing thebest they can, just like we are
in the very same world we allnavigate each day.
It was my value, not mycitizenship, that shone through
that day in my interaction withmy new friends on the train.

(04:47):
Now, keep in mind that I mightnot have said anything at all,
either while standing in theaisle or returning to speak to
them later again, and guess what?
We all would have arrived atour destinations.
The train would still havestopped at all the stations.
But by leading with my valuesthen, I've created a space for

(05:12):
reflection now for myself, forthem and, who knows, maybe even
for you right now, dear listener.
In any case, it's a powerfulreminder that, no matter where
you go, showing up from whereyou truly come from matters,

(05:35):
because that place not onlytravels with you, it can move
others in new directions.
I'm Lisa Hopkins.
Thanks so much for listening.
Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the
moment.