November 23, 2021 • 32 mins
Episode 1: Chapter 4 - William Cole - Recovery from a farm motorcycle accident which resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) - New habits & perspectives.
In the first episode, we meet William Cole, a 25 year old farmer from Bookaar in Western Victoria. William had a farm motorcycle accident in 2017 which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. In this fourth and final chapter of the episode, William talks about his new habits and perspectives following the accident, what he is aiming for now, and we hear about some of the work he's doing to share his learnings with others.
Transcript and show notes are available for each episode on the podcast website: storiesofrecovery.buzzsprout.com
Shownotes:
- 00:30 - Strangely enough, William now considers that things in his life have changed a lot for the positive since his accident. He cites greater maturity and appreciation for life, more respect and love for himself and other people, and more presence in the moment,
- 02:05 - "More, more, more". William's reminder to himself each day to be 'more understanding, more caring and more respectful' with those he encounters,
- ^05:10 - Journalling has been very important in William's recovery. "Just start writing..." Put your thoughts, your worries and the things that are concerning you down on paper. For William, it's helped him work through his issues and resolve them,
- ^07:00 - Listen carefully to your doctors, treat them with respect and build a friendship,
- ^08:00 - Ask a friend to go to the shops & get you 3 books (on topics that you are really interested) or which you really want to read (let your interests guide your recovery),
- ^09:15 - Don't be afraid to share your story. Telling your story and listening to others within the rehabilitation setting, and talking about your accident/injury/condition with family and friends in William's view "is one of the biggest parts of healing". It'll help you reflect on and process the injury or condition and connects you with those around you,
- ^12:40 - Avoid alcohol and drugs for as long as you can following your accident/injury,
- ^14:30 - Extending on the earlier recommendation regarding journalling, William suggests trying to notice if something is getting you down, writing it down and exploring it and if needed, taking it to a friend or a neuropsychologist to help you work through it,
- 15:48 - William talks about a public event he organised in his local community with the assistance of his neuropsychologist. The aim was to bring together people who had been impacted by brain injury and included guest speakers, the sharing of tips and tricks, and advice from his treating team. William's keen to run more sessions like this and needs help. If you'd like to work with William to run events like this in the future, you can contact him at: willyjcole@gmail.com,
- ^27:54 - Final thoughts from William: "Keep on being you, and you shall keep on".
^William's main tips
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Robbie - Introduction (00:11):
Welcome to Chapter Four- New habits and
perspectives.
Robbie - Host (00:31):
So I guess in the last two years, or since your
accident, have there been anynew things that stand out in
terms of behaviours or habitsthat you've introduced into your
day to day?
William Cole - Guest (00:42):
Yeah, it's funny.
It's changed a lot for thepositive.
I guess because before I wasjust your classic 22 year old
Aussie bloke, having fun, youknow'beers with the boys' and
stuff like that and wanting togo in the fast lane a lot of it.
Robbie - Host (01:05):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (01:05):
But after the accident, I sort of found
myself more reserved and matureand chilled out, you
know...funnily enough.
Like you'd say I'd been thereand done that, but I had a
massive motorbike accident andsort of realised how good it is
to be alive sort of thing.
So yeah, in terms of socialhabits, I stay a lot longer and
(01:30):
really want to chat a bit more,especially to the older
generation because they've got awhole wealth of chats and talk
and knowledge about things.
So I find them very fascinating.
And just general respect andlove.
I came up with this thing that Ithought about, cause I wanted to
(01:55):
be like'how can I show that I'mmore caring?' It was quite funny
because...
Robbie - Host (02:02):
Because you obviously(felt it)...So you felt
it and it was like'I want todemonstrate this'?.
William Cole - Guest (02:05):
Yeah I think that I was pretty caring
in my own respect.
But I thought how can I...
For some reason I I just thought I was bad at it, but
anyway.
So I came up with this thingthat was a little concept that I
did because I would often writein my book and just let my
thoughts go wherever.
(02:25):
And I just write about whatevera nd t here's drawings and
events and random daydreamingstuff.
So I was writing in that bookand came up with the"more, more,
more" concept.
And it's quite easy because youcan just think"more, more, more"
in your head.
And so when you're active in aconversation with someone or a
(02:47):
friend or a spouse or whatever(it means'show') more
understanding, more care andmore support.
And you could write that morelist of more everything, but to
start....to try and makeyourself think that quickly
before(you see someone)"more,more, more", and you just can
(03:09):
sort of jump into a new(mindset)...
like take a breath and yeah,feel really reserved(calm and
centred), and like you really docare about someone and the
conversation that you're having.
Robbie - Host (03:22):
So, sorry, just to clarify, do you mean, you'll
say that to yourself"more, more,more" meaning'In this moment, I
need to be more understanding,more...
William Cole - Guest (03:30):
...caring, and yeah more respectful.
Robbie - Host (03:34):
Wow that's a really cool way of just planting
yourself into that moment isn'tit.
William Cole - Gues (03:38):
Absolutely.
And yeah it's quick to thinkabout and yeah.
Just quickly think about it inyour head before you walk into
the cafe or...because in myindustry you're always working
in the yards and shearing sheepetc.
and you're pretty tuckered outand knackered and stuff.
So it's a good little quick waybecause you don't want to
(03:59):
present yourself to everyone asdirty, stinky and grumpy just
because you're tired.
So you just want to at leasthave a good chinwag with them
and make it worth(both of) yourtime.
Robbie - Host (04:10):
Totally, totally.
William Cole - Guest (04:12):
But yeah, well I'll touch a little bit
more on that.
I guess it stemmed from notbeing able to communicate
properly after the accident...
with that lack of focus andattention and being able to
string together a sentence to beable to start thinking'more,
more, more' to really get a goodconversation flowing and going.
(04:36):
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (04:37):
Okay.
So that was actually a tool tohelp you kind of tap back into
your own....
William Cole - Guest (04:43):
Yeah, yeah , yeah.
And I have/had started thinkingof a fair few or writing about a
fair few, but'more, more, more'was the quickest and easiest and
simplest and there's a couple ofpages(of notes of journalling)
behind it, you know, of writingmy experiences and how I find
things.
Really to nut everything out.
And then all of a sudden I justcame up with that.
(05:05):
So it was a lot of refiningbefore there was a result.
Robbie - Host (05:10):
That journaling.
That's something that soundslike it's been pretty
(beneficial)?
William Cole - Guest (05:13):
Yeah.
All my life.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Robbie - Host (05:15):
And that's been helpful to you in your recovery?
William Cole - Gues (05:18):
Absolutely.
A hundred percent.
I never date anything, but ifpeople want, they can date,
Robbie - Host (05:24):
You just start writing?
William Cole - Guest (05:25):
Just start writing...because there're books
that I could read of my writingthat're about six plus years
old, but I'd still not know whenit was.
Yeah.
And it's quite funny becausesome days you know, I don't
really want to read them but Ijust pick them up sometimes if
I'm moving stuff out of mybedroom or clearing stuff and
(05:46):
I'm like'oh yeah, I know thatbook', but don't know the last
time I read it and just open itand you're like'ah, oh yeah!'
You know, you're sort ofrecalling the old self of you or
just what you were up to Iguess, in the journey of life.
You know what you were sort offiguring out about or what you
were thinking or feeling andyeah.
So it's a good little, a goodlittle tool to have for anyone.
Robbie - Host (06:09):
Yeah.
Do you write in that every day?
William Cole - Guest (06:11):
Not every day.
At least...at least twice aweek.
Robbie - Host (06:13):
Yeah.
Do you make time for it or doesit just sort of happen?
William Cole - Guest (06:16):
I do make time for it by laying in bed,
before I go to bed.
Robbie - Host (06:19):
Yeah.
William Cole - Guest (06:20):
I always pack it with me and even if I'm
going to a mate's house, becauseit's just like, for me, it's
just like a phone charger,because it's an escape.
Yeah.
And you know, I don't need to godown to a friend's house and
vent my spleen to them aboutthis or that I can sort of keep
(06:40):
myself contained.
Robbie - Host (06:40):
Do it yourself?
William Cole - Guest (06:40):
Yeah.
No one needs to hear mythoughts, especially, which is
kind of handy, but the bad ones,because I can just get it in
there and yeah,
Robbie - Host (06:50):
Sort them out yourself.
William Cole - Guest (06:50):
Yeah sort it out yourself and sort of draw
some conclusions and try andcome up with a bit more of a
mature understanding I supposelater.
Robbie - Host (07:01):
Yeah, nice.
What advice would you give toyourself if you were to meet
yourself a week before youraccident?
Or what advice would you tellyourself to ignore?
William Cole - Guest (07:15):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Um, I'd definitely give theadvice to listen carefully to
the doctors and again, make goodfriendships with them, sorta
become friendly rather than thatworker, carer thing.
(07:37):
I would have given myself thestuff about subtitles and m
ovies.
Robbie - Host (07:44):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (07:45):
Definitely because I figured that one out
about a month or a bit into thestay at the Epworth.
Robbie - Host (07:53):
Could have saved you some time...
William Cole - Guest (07:53):
Yeah.
I could have been writing booksby then.
I would have said to myself toget someone to go down to the
(08:17):
shops and get like three thingsthat you really want or like
really want to read or, youknow, that reminds you of you.
Something...like it might be athing that you like or a book
that you like to read.
Robbie - Host (08:28):
Well for you what would that have been?
What would that have been inyour case?
William Cole - Guest (08:35):
Well, I got given a beginner's guide to
growing hops.
Robbie - Host (08:41):
Okay.
William Cole - Guest (08:42):
From dad.
Robbie - Host (08:42):
Nice.
William Cole - Guest (08:42):
And, um, I've read bits of it, but I
requested to him that I wanted abook on stone masonry.
So I got that and I love stonemasonry so I was yeah,
fascinated by that and yeah,that was a lot of fun.
It's quite fun, like I'mfascinated enough that I'll just
(09:02):
watch YouTube for hours on endof these old Scottish blokes or
Irish blokes just being like"nowyou get your stone and they
do..." It's a lot of fun.
Yeah, and definitely journal,but also definitely to not be
afraid to share and chat withthe other people in the ward and
(09:23):
not feel afraid to talk aboutthe accident itself.
Because I think in the ward likeno one really(talks about it).
I was good mates with one girlwho was my age and she was from
not too far away from here andwe just sort of had that local
connection.
But she was the only one that Ihad heard about her accident and
no one sort of really sharedthat with anyone or really
(09:46):
talked about it.
I guess it was you know, ahospital healing environment,
but yeah, I would've said thatwould've been a good bit of
advice to myself.
Robbie - Host (09:56):
Talk about it?
William Cole - Guest (09:56):
Yeah.
Just to show that...to be ableto share and open up I suppose,
and not have to always talk tothe professionals, because they
always will give theirprofessional response and have
to be professional I suppose.
Just chat to you know, someonethat you can become mates with
(10:18):
and just have a properconversation about it.
Robbie - Host (10:22):
Has it been...would that advice also
extend to people outside thehospital setting or in your
normal life?
Like, is it something...wouldyou encourage people to speak
about it with their friends andfamily and people they know or
not to?
William Cole - Gues (10:38):
Absolutely.
I think it's one of the biggestparts of healing...is to be able
to share your story and to beable to get it out.
Because you're doing a lot ofreflecting when you're trying to
tell your story and you'rereally processing it yourself
(10:58):
and understanding that that'syou and that's what happened.
And for your friends to be ableto listen and take it in is
yeah, great and supportive.
But you know they're obviouslythere for you, so you can share
that story and it shows a lotabout the friendship and how
(11:19):
special those friends can be.
Yeah, it's a good time foreveryone.
I think it's, I can't reallythink of the words for it, but I
just find it a very strong thingto be able to do, for a lot of
people, to share their story andin, in a positive way.
I hope that they hope withintheir mentality that they really
(11:43):
want to strive to get to 100%and really want to prove what
may be easily possible, butprove those negative thoughts in
their head completely wrong.
I do think that sharing yourstory with others really does
help.
Being able to talk and say, well"Hi, I'm Will.
This is my story" and you know,stuff like that.
(12:07):
Because I feel those peoplewould become a lot more open
later down the track with theirsocial interactions because they
know that they've had thisaccident and their friends know
that and people around thedistrict acknowledge you for
that and stuff.
So you're not...then all of asudden you don't become this
isolated person.
(12:27):
Like everyone knows who you areand you know, you're still
included.
You never were excluded, butyou've just been given...
Robbie - Host (12:34):
It's not the elephant in the corner.
William Cole - Guest (12:35):
Yeah, exactly.
Robbie - Host (12:40):
Any bad recommendations you've heard
throughout your recovery?
William Cole - Guest (12:45):
Definitely the ones that the hospitals tell
you, which is alcohol and drugs,because there was one bloke at
the hospital who got hit by acar at high speeds.
He was in a wheelchair and hewas crossing a road and just got
hit.
Anyway, he was still in hiswheelchair and he got put into a
(13:05):
share house where they wereall...they'd have a person come
in and check on them.
Robbie - Host (13:10):
Yeah.
William Cole - Guest (13:10):
And they could sort of do what they want,
but yeah, they used to drink alot and a lot.
And you'd see...it would affecthis relationship....
with the hospital staff was sonegative and his whole
motivation to get better was sonegative.
It was quite tough because thisman had a young daughter and he
(13:34):
was trying to obviously findwork and he was a foreign man
and the language barrier wastough.
I felt for him a lot because I'msure he was a really nice guy
and stuff but he couldn't walk,he was getting pushed around in
a wheelchair and he was tryingto find work so that he could
put his young girl through highschool.
(13:55):
So yeah, I'd say definitely,alcohol and drugs do stay away
from them for as long as you canafter the accident.
Robbie - Host (14:06):
Are you back drinking now or do you stay off
it?
William Cole - Guest (14:08):
Yeah I do drink, I took a whole year and a
bit off afterwards and that wasgood.
But yeah, I'll have a drink withthe mates at the football or
Melbourne cup day, which istoday, but I'm not at the cup.
But if I was at the cup initself, you know, there in
person, absolutely.
(14:29):
Why not?
I guess also...comparingyourself to(before), don't
compare yourself to before.
Try and really notice the badthings that you're doing to
(14:51):
yourself and thinking about andwrite it down and tell someone,
you know.
Robbie - Host (14:57):
What do you mean by that?
William Cole - Guest (14:59):
Try and notice what gets you down.
Like what upsets you in your dayto day life?
It could be one little smallthing.
Robbie - Host (15:11):
Just happening again and again.
William Cole - Guest (15:13):
Yeah.
And write it down and go to afriend even, or a
neuropsychologist or apsychologist or someone and
share it with them and don't beafraid to write down what you're
finding is difficult and find aresolution for it.
(15:35):
There are a lot of services outthere and you yourself can
really make a difference if youreally want to sit down and
think it out and have theattitude to want to get better.
Robbie - Host (15:48):
Now, you also ran this brilliant event.
I've heard a little bit aboutit.
Was it last year?
William Cole - Guest (15:54):
It was yes, it was in 2018.
Robbie - Host (15:57):
Do you want to tell me a little bit about that?
William Cole - Guest (15:59):
I was back from hospital and I was working
alongside my neuropsychologist,who was amazing.
I said to her about this ideathat I had, that it would be
great for everyone in thedistrict(and it was being a bit
keen if I got everyone in thedistrict), but people around the
(16:20):
district who had had theseinjuries to get into one room
together and to be able to sitdown and share their stories and
feel like there's a littlecommunity behind it.
And so we started writing a fewthings down and got some
planning things ahead, and wecame up with a date.
(16:41):
And so I got myneuropsychologist and then
another two ladies who werehelping me, a speech pathologist
and an occupational therapisttogether and we thought out the
best way to be able to bringeveryone together is to do some
(17:01):
guest speakers.
So people can listen and we'llhave a break and have a drink
and something to nibble on andthen get back into some talking
and then some questions and thena mingle afterwards.
So we came up with that littlestructure for the evening.
We ran it on the 12th of July in2018, starting late in the
(17:26):
evening and it was quiteamazing.
I spoke for about 10 minutes andspoke about the injury and how
it affected me, and myrehabilitation and the community
support that I had behind it.
And then also I got to sharesome tips and tricks and
(17:48):
strategies with the other peoplein the room who had gone through
a similar injury.
Then my neuropsychologist andthe speech pathologist and the
OT talked about brain injury andwhat their role is as a
(18:09):
neuropsych or a speechpathologist.
And my neuropsych she was verywell-spoken and I could see it
in her, she was reaching out tothe crowd to be like'I really
want to help you too'.
You know she really just wantedto help everyone and she just
(18:32):
shared some rehab approaches andstrategies and just little
things.
Robbie - Host (18:38):
Anything that you want to share now?
William Cole - Guest (18:39):
I think I've got all mine out earlier
today.
But she was going on aboutcauses and effects and it was
great.
The question time was goodafterwards because a lot of
people were funnily enough,asking questions about comparing
themselves(to before).
(19:02):
One of the ways it was askedwas, one girl, she said she was
doing something and then shestopped and then she'd run into
the next room and come back andbe so frustrated at herself and
then wonder why(what she'dstarted) wasn't done.
And then she'd start gettingangry at herself for not doing
(19:23):
it.
And we sort of sat down andchatted about that for a couple
of minutes and came to thereason that she was comparing an
old(version of) herself to a newself that she'd switch all of a
sudden her attention and betrying to be her old self but
not accepting that she is a newself.
(19:44):
It was an amazing event.
We got it published in the paperand we had a turnout of about 30
to 40 people.
And you could see firsthand theimpact it had because after all
the speakers we had the questiontime and then a bit of chit
chat.
But at the start the wholegeneral vibe was a bit isolated
(20:06):
I suppose, like everyone wassort of just there waiting for
it to start and not reallyacknowledging each other and
just(thinking) who's that guy,who's this and dah, dah, dah.
But then afterwards, everyonesort of became friends and their
eyes had lit up and they werechatting.
And the amazing thing was theywere chatting about their
injuries and not feeling scaredor nervous or judged or
(20:28):
anything.
Robbie - Host (20:28):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (20:30):
And that was, it was just unreal to see.
And of course the OT and myneuropsych and whatnot were
there.
And they were getting absolutelyworked out because a lot of
people were there.
A lot of carers were there aswell and they were asking things
that they'd noticed in theirpartners and they're taking on a
(20:52):
caring role and were chatting tothe professionals and getting
some tips and tricks.
There were also numbers beingexchanged with the neuro
psychologist and new clients.
So it was a very constructiveatmosphere.
Robbie - Host (21:07):
Beautiful.
It felt...it really felt like Iwas on top of the world after it
happened, because it was justsomething that really should be
happening more.
Totally.
William Cole - Guest (21:18):
And it was so reinforcing of the fact that,
yeah, where there's community,there's definitely a way out.
Like everything can really beresolved through a community and
help is on its way.
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (21:33):
Is it something you're hoping to kind of
replicate or continue?
William Cole - Guest (21:38):
Yeah absolutely.
Because I have sort of returnedback to my life.
I do, with my journal and stuff,I've been writing stuff about
it.
I sort of do need a big kick upthe bum to really start getting
going again.
But I'm very passionate aboutit.
Robbie - Host (21:55):
You're doing alright!
William Cole - Guest (21:56):
I'm working a bit flat and that
annoyingly takes over, but yeahI'd love to do more information
sessions.
It is a little bit tough becausewith the passing of my
wonderful, amazingneuropsychologist, she really
helped get the ball rolling.
(22:16):
But I guess if anyone islistening and wants to get the
ball rolling(with me), someonewho's keen...
I'd just be keen to put these sort o f days together or
information n ights for peopleto come across.
I've got a network of treaterswho would be more than happy to
(22:38):
speak and s o there's everythingthere.
We just need to start gettingthem more on the frequent and a
bit more of a structure andsystem behind it.
But I also n eed someone to helpme, to b e my offsider,to be
like"right, it's going to behere on this night and we've g
ot to get all this set up..."Because I think trying to do it
by myself w ould be a bit, a bitfull on, especially with my own
(22:58):
work commitments.
And going forward from there,one thing that I would also love
to be able to help out with isat the Epworth and it was quite
good because I was doing myEpworth longitudinal head
research study thing, and I waschatting to the girl about this
(23:18):
and it was a mentorship programof people w ho've had brain
injuries to be able to go intothe hospital and meet people who
have had the same injury maybe acouple of weeks after when t
hey're sort of feeling back tothemselves.
Just to be able to go in andchat and share their experiences
(23:40):
and sort of be a mentor, but you k now, not a mentor, like a
big brother or a big sister...
and just to be like"Hey, I've been there and...
Robbie - Host (23:47):
"I'm ok"
William Cole - Guest (23:47):
Yeah, exactly.
Just sort of reinforce that ittakes time and you've got to
work on some steps as opposed toother steps and just to help
guide them and to further thereassurance for their
rehabilitation.
And you never know, they stillmay be friends for 10 years or
(24:08):
something.
But to sort of get something inthe works that people who have
been through all of that andbeen(come) out of it, you know,
for five or so years, and haveobviously had plenty of
experience with the new self tobe able to go and share tricks
with those people in thehospital.
Because we had, like, when I wasat the Epworth we had breakfast
(24:32):
club and stuff and that wouldbreak up the day, but, well,
it's tough to say, but it wasquite dull because you're all in
bed or, you know, you're all illand in hospital, so no one's
really trying to be chirpy, youknow, stuff like that.
Um,
Robbie - Host (24:51):
So just to have some people, an injection of
some people coming back in whounderstand, but have come out
the other side and can(sharetheir experiences)
William Cole - Gues (24:57):
Absolutely.
I just think it would be ofbenefit to the hospital and the
people who have had thoseinjuries a lot more and maybe
help them change their attitude.
Because I think the whole thingfor me personally has been, just
your mindset behind what youbelieve in and what you don't
(25:21):
and just your mentality behindit.
I think for that event, peoplewould hear and see these other
people and feel like, you know,they got some helpful tricks and
(thought) yep, that's gonna beme in a couple of years.
I'll be out of here and be backto myself or doing what I want
to be doing at least.
Robbie - Host (25:41):
Brilliant.
Well we'll watch this space andlook forward to seeing that
program take off.
William Cole - Gues (25:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (25:47):
Is there anything in particular that you'd like to
share before we wrap up?
Any thank you's or any sort offinal thoughts you want to leave
with people?
William Cole - Guest (25:58):
Always want to get better and always
have a good relationship withyour doctor or treater because
they put in a hard amount ofwork for you to help you get
better.
So always be respectful of themand the work that they do.
And so too with carers.
A massive thank you to AmbulanceVictoria, the chopper driver,
(26:26):
the Epworth, the Royal Melbournehospital and all the treaters:
the occupational therapist...thewhole of them across the bloody
nation.
They're really, really doinggreat work and really helping
out people that have experiencedhitting rock bottom through an
accident or a fall...orsomething.
Because yeah, it's just amazingto have these systems set up in
(26:54):
place behind it and yeah, ahuge, huge, thank you to the TAC
(Traffic Accident Commission).
Without them, oh God, I heard astory when I was in the bed.
My mate said there was a guy inAmerica who had a similar
accident and he woke up and hegot slapped with about a$600,000
bill.
His response was"Why didn't youkill me?
(27:15):
I can't afford to pay that".
So it's amazing to have such agood, such good things in place
in this country.
And just to know that they'rereally caring for you and they
will help you, fund you or dowhatever(they need to).
They're really good people.
I think that sort of covers itin terms of thank you's, I guess
(27:42):
my friends and family andcommunity.
They're all amazing in their ownregards.
But yeah, that's quite it....Ifyou are listening, keep on being
you and you shall keep on.
Robbie - Host (27:59):
Thank you very much.
You're an inspiration and I lookforward to seeing you...
I mean, to me, you already looklike you're a hundred percent.
You look brilliant.
You sound fantastic.
But yeah, best of luck on thecontinued recovery back to a
hundred percent or towards ahundred percent of your new
self.
And I'll look forward towatching your progress and
(28:21):
seeing what you do.
Thanks so much for your time.
William Cole - Guest (28:23):
Thank you very much Robbie.
Cheers.
Robbie - Outro (28:48):
I'll have show notes on everything we talked
about this episode on thepodcast website, along with a
full transcript if you find thateasier to follow along or to
find what you need.
Now, I do need to highlight thatneither I, nor any of the people
that I interview on this podcastare medical professionals.
The advice and learnings whichwe share during our discussions
are not medical advice andshould be considered and
(29:10):
reviewed in consultation with atrusted medical professional
prior to being acted upon.
These are our learnings from ourexperiences take what is
valuable and leave the rest.
Next episode, we'll be speakingwith Trevor Barker, a tremendous
fellow who's experiences fromliving and recovering from
chronic pain, are both shockingand awe inspiring.
(29:31):
To give you a sneak peek,following a minor back injury at
his workplace during histwenties, his quality of life
deteriorated over the subsequentyears to such a point due to the
increasing and broadening painthat by the age of 53, he could
no longer work, he'd lost hisfamily, his friends, and all
forms of social connection.
(29:52):
He was considering his nextmove, which at that point was to
check himself into a retirementvillage for the rest of his
days.
His learnings in recoverythough, when they came were
shockingly swift and he's nowback to a full and active life,
working, in a lovingrelationship, very happy and now
(30:13):
an incredible advocate andsupport for others still within
the darkness.
He's a passionate and creativeindividual and a fantastic
storyteller.
And I look forward to sharinghis story of recovery with you.
Until then, I wish you courageand energy on your own journey
forward.
Thanks for listening.
Welcome to Chapter Four- New habits and
perspectives.
Robbie - Host (00:31):
So I guess in the last two years, or since your
accident, have there been anynew things that stand out in
terms of behaviours or habitsthat you've introduced into your
day to day?
William Cole - Guest (00:42):
Yeah, it's funny.
It's changed a lot for thepositive.
I guess because before I wasjust your classic 22 year old
Aussie bloke, having fun, youknow'beers with the boys' and
stuff like that and wanting togo in the fast lane a lot of it.
Robbie - Host (01:05):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (01:05):
But after the accident, I sort of found
myself more reserved and matureand chilled out, you
know...funnily enough.
Like you'd say I'd been thereand done that, but I had a
massive motorbike accident andsort of realised how good it is
to be alive sort of thing.
So yeah, in terms of socialhabits, I stay a lot longer and
(01:30):
really want to chat a bit more,especially to the older
generation because they've got awhole wealth of chats and talk
and knowledge about things.
So I find them very fascinating.
And just general respect andlove.
I came up with this thing that Ithought about, cause I wanted to
(01:55):
be like'how can I show that I'mmore caring?' It was quite funny
because...
Robbie - Host (02:02):
Because you obviously(felt it)...So you felt
it and it was like'I want todemonstrate this'?.
William Cole - Guest (02:05):
Yeah I think that I was pretty caring
in my own respect.
But I thought how can I...
For some reason I I just thought I was bad at it, but
anyway.
So I came up with this thingthat was a little concept that I
did because I would often writein my book and just let my
thoughts go wherever.
(02:25):
And I just write about whatevera nd t here's drawings and
events and random daydreamingstuff.
So I was writing in that bookand came up with the"more, more,
more" concept.
And it's quite easy because youcan just think"more, more, more"
in your head.
And so when you're active in aconversation with someone or a
(02:47):
friend or a spouse or whatever(it means'show') more
understanding, more care andmore support.
And you could write that morelist of more everything, but to
start....to try and makeyourself think that quickly
before(you see someone)"more,more, more", and you just can
(03:09):
sort of jump into a new(mindset)...
like take a breath and yeah,feel really reserved(calm and
centred), and like you really docare about someone and the
conversation that you're having.
Robbie - Host (03:22):
So, sorry, just to clarify, do you mean, you'll
say that to yourself"more, more,more" meaning'In this moment, I
need to be more understanding,more...
William Cole - Guest (03:30):
...caring, and yeah more respectful.
Robbie - Host (03:34):
Wow that's a really cool way of just planting
yourself into that moment isn'tit.
William Cole - Gues (03:38):
Absolutely.
And yeah it's quick to thinkabout and yeah.
Just quickly think about it inyour head before you walk into
the cafe or...because in myindustry you're always working
in the yards and shearing sheepetc.
and you're pretty tuckered outand knackered and stuff.
So it's a good little quick waybecause you don't want to
(03:59):
present yourself to everyone asdirty, stinky and grumpy just
because you're tired.
So you just want to at leasthave a good chinwag with them
and make it worth(both of) yourtime.
Robbie - Host (04:10):
Totally, totally.
William Cole - Guest (04:12):
But yeah, well I'll touch a little bit
more on that.
I guess it stemmed from notbeing able to communicate
properly after the accident...
with that lack of focus andattention and being able to
string together a sentence to beable to start thinking'more,
more, more' to really get a goodconversation flowing and going.
(04:36):
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (04:37):
Okay.
So that was actually a tool tohelp you kind of tap back into
your own....
William Cole - Guest (04:43):
Yeah, yeah , yeah.
And I have/had started thinkingof a fair few or writing about a
fair few, but'more, more, more'was the quickest and easiest and
simplest and there's a couple ofpages(of notes of journalling)
behind it, you know, of writingmy experiences and how I find
things.
Really to nut everything out.
And then all of a sudden I justcame up with that.
(05:05):
So it was a lot of refiningbefore there was a result.
Robbie - Host (05:10):
That journaling.
That's something that soundslike it's been pretty
(beneficial)?
William Cole - Guest (05:13):
Yeah.
All my life.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Robbie - Host (05:15):
And that's been helpful to you in your recovery?
William Cole - Gues (05:18):
Absolutely.
A hundred percent.
I never date anything, but ifpeople want, they can date,
Robbie - Host (05:24):
You just start writing?
William Cole - Guest (05:25):
Just start writing...because there're books
that I could read of my writingthat're about six plus years
old, but I'd still not know whenit was.
Yeah.
And it's quite funny becausesome days you know, I don't
really want to read them but Ijust pick them up sometimes if
I'm moving stuff out of mybedroom or clearing stuff and
(05:46):
I'm like'oh yeah, I know thatbook', but don't know the last
time I read it and just open itand you're like'ah, oh yeah!'
You know, you're sort ofrecalling the old self of you or
just what you were up to Iguess, in the journey of life.
You know what you were sort offiguring out about or what you
were thinking or feeling andyeah.
So it's a good little, a goodlittle tool to have for anyone.
Robbie - Host (06:09):
Yeah.
Do you write in that every day?
William Cole - Guest (06:11):
Not every day.
At least...at least twice aweek.
Robbie - Host (06:13):
Yeah.
Do you make time for it or doesit just sort of happen?
William Cole - Guest (06:16):
I do make time for it by laying in bed,
before I go to bed.
Robbie - Host (06:19):
Yeah.
William Cole - Guest (06:20):
I always pack it with me and even if I'm
going to a mate's house, becauseit's just like, for me, it's
just like a phone charger,because it's an escape.
Yeah.
And you know, I don't need to godown to a friend's house and
vent my spleen to them aboutthis or that I can sort of keep
(06:40):
myself contained.
Robbie - Host (06:40):
Do it yourself?
William Cole - Guest (06:40):
Yeah.
No one needs to hear mythoughts, especially, which is
kind of handy, but the bad ones,because I can just get it in
there and yeah,
Robbie - Host (06:50):
Sort them out yourself.
William Cole - Guest (06:50):
Yeah sort it out yourself and sort of draw
some conclusions and try andcome up with a bit more of a
mature understanding I supposelater.
Robbie - Host (07:01):
Yeah, nice.
What advice would you give toyourself if you were to meet
yourself a week before youraccident?
Or what advice would you tellyourself to ignore?
William Cole - Guest (07:15):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Um, I'd definitely give theadvice to listen carefully to
the doctors and again, make goodfriendships with them, sorta
become friendly rather than thatworker, carer thing.
(07:37):
I would have given myself thestuff about subtitles and m
ovies.
Robbie - Host (07:44):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (07:45):
Definitely because I figured that one out
about a month or a bit into thestay at the Epworth.
Robbie - Host (07:53):
Could have saved you some time...
William Cole - Guest (07:53):
Yeah.
I could have been writing booksby then.
I would have said to myself toget someone to go down to the
(08:17):
shops and get like three thingsthat you really want or like
really want to read or, youknow, that reminds you of you.
Something...like it might be athing that you like or a book
that you like to read.
Robbie - Host (08:28):
Well for you what would that have been?
What would that have been inyour case?
William Cole - Guest (08:35):
Well, I got given a beginner's guide to
growing hops.
Robbie - Host (08:41):
Okay.
William Cole - Guest (08:42):
From dad.
Robbie - Host (08:42):
Nice.
William Cole - Guest (08:42):
And, um, I've read bits of it, but I
requested to him that I wanted abook on stone masonry.
So I got that and I love stonemasonry so I was yeah,
fascinated by that and yeah,that was a lot of fun.
It's quite fun, like I'mfascinated enough that I'll just
(09:02):
watch YouTube for hours on endof these old Scottish blokes or
Irish blokes just being like"nowyou get your stone and they
do..." It's a lot of fun.
Yeah, and definitely journal,but also definitely to not be
afraid to share and chat withthe other people in the ward and
(09:23):
not feel afraid to talk aboutthe accident itself.
Because I think in the ward likeno one really(talks about it).
I was good mates with one girlwho was my age and she was from
not too far away from here andwe just sort of had that local
connection.
But she was the only one that Ihad heard about her accident and
no one sort of really sharedthat with anyone or really
(09:46):
talked about it.
I guess it was you know, ahospital healing environment,
but yeah, I would've said thatwould've been a good bit of
advice to myself.
Robbie - Host (09:56):
Talk about it?
William Cole - Guest (09:56):
Yeah.
Just to show that...to be ableto share and open up I suppose,
and not have to always talk tothe professionals, because they
always will give theirprofessional response and have
to be professional I suppose.
Just chat to you know, someonethat you can become mates with
(10:18):
and just have a properconversation about it.
Robbie - Host (10:22):
Has it been...would that advice also
extend to people outside thehospital setting or in your
normal life?
Like, is it something...wouldyou encourage people to speak
about it with their friends andfamily and people they know or
not to?
William Cole - Gues (10:38):
Absolutely.
I think it's one of the biggestparts of healing...is to be able
to share your story and to beable to get it out.
Because you're doing a lot ofreflecting when you're trying to
tell your story and you'rereally processing it yourself
(10:58):
and understanding that that'syou and that's what happened.
And for your friends to be ableto listen and take it in is
yeah, great and supportive.
But you know they're obviouslythere for you, so you can share
that story and it shows a lotabout the friendship and how
(11:19):
special those friends can be.
Yeah, it's a good time foreveryone.
I think it's, I can't reallythink of the words for it, but I
just find it a very strong thingto be able to do, for a lot of
people, to share their story andin, in a positive way.
I hope that they hope withintheir mentality that they really
(11:43):
want to strive to get to 100%and really want to prove what
may be easily possible, butprove those negative thoughts in
their head completely wrong.
I do think that sharing yourstory with others really does
help.
Being able to talk and say, well"Hi, I'm Will.
This is my story" and you know,stuff like that.
(12:07):
Because I feel those peoplewould become a lot more open
later down the track with theirsocial interactions because they
know that they've had thisaccident and their friends know
that and people around thedistrict acknowledge you for
that and stuff.
So you're not...then all of asudden you don't become this
isolated person.
(12:27):
Like everyone knows who you areand you know, you're still
included.
You never were excluded, butyou've just been given...
Robbie - Host (12:34):
It's not the elephant in the corner.
William Cole - Guest (12:35):
Yeah, exactly.
Robbie - Host (12:40):
Any bad recommendations you've heard
throughout your recovery?
William Cole - Guest (12:45):
Definitely the ones that the hospitals tell
you, which is alcohol and drugs,because there was one bloke at
the hospital who got hit by acar at high speeds.
He was in a wheelchair and hewas crossing a road and just got
hit.
Anyway, he was still in hiswheelchair and he got put into a
(13:05):
share house where they wereall...they'd have a person come
in and check on them.
Robbie - Host (13:10):
Yeah.
William Cole - Guest (13:10):
And they could sort of do what they want,
but yeah, they used to drink alot and a lot.
And you'd see...it would affecthis relationship....
with the hospital staff was sonegative and his whole
motivation to get better was sonegative.
It was quite tough because thisman had a young daughter and he
(13:34):
was trying to obviously findwork and he was a foreign man
and the language barrier wastough.
I felt for him a lot because I'msure he was a really nice guy
and stuff but he couldn't walk,he was getting pushed around in
a wheelchair and he was tryingto find work so that he could
put his young girl through highschool.
(13:55):
So yeah, I'd say definitely,alcohol and drugs do stay away
from them for as long as you canafter the accident.
Robbie - Host (14:06):
Are you back drinking now or do you stay off
it?
William Cole - Guest (14:08):
Yeah I do drink, I took a whole year and a
bit off afterwards and that wasgood.
But yeah, I'll have a drink withthe mates at the football or
Melbourne cup day, which istoday, but I'm not at the cup.
But if I was at the cup initself, you know, there in
person, absolutely.
(14:29):
Why not?
I guess also...comparingyourself to(before), don't
compare yourself to before.
Try and really notice the badthings that you're doing to
(14:51):
yourself and thinking about andwrite it down and tell someone,
you know.
Robbie - Host (14:57):
What do you mean by that?
William Cole - Guest (14:59):
Try and notice what gets you down.
Like what upsets you in your dayto day life?
It could be one little smallthing.
Robbie - Host (15:11):
Just happening again and again.
William Cole - Guest (15:13):
Yeah.
And write it down and go to afriend even, or a
neuropsychologist or apsychologist or someone and
share it with them and don't beafraid to write down what you're
finding is difficult and find aresolution for it.
(15:35):
There are a lot of services outthere and you yourself can
really make a difference if youreally want to sit down and
think it out and have theattitude to want to get better.
Robbie - Host (15:48):
Now, you also ran this brilliant event.
I've heard a little bit aboutit.
Was it last year?
William Cole - Guest (15:54):
It was yes, it was in 2018.
Robbie - Host (15:57):
Do you want to tell me a little bit about that?
William Cole - Guest (15:59):
I was back from hospital and I was working
alongside my neuropsychologist,who was amazing.
I said to her about this ideathat I had, that it would be
great for everyone in thedistrict(and it was being a bit
keen if I got everyone in thedistrict), but people around the
(16:20):
district who had had theseinjuries to get into one room
together and to be able to sitdown and share their stories and
feel like there's a littlecommunity behind it.
And so we started writing a fewthings down and got some
planning things ahead, and wecame up with a date.
(16:41):
And so I got myneuropsychologist and then
another two ladies who werehelping me, a speech pathologist
and an occupational therapisttogether and we thought out the
best way to be able to bringeveryone together is to do some
(17:01):
guest speakers.
So people can listen and we'llhave a break and have a drink
and something to nibble on andthen get back into some talking
and then some questions and thena mingle afterwards.
So we came up with that littlestructure for the evening.
We ran it on the 12th of July in2018, starting late in the
(17:26):
evening and it was quiteamazing.
I spoke for about 10 minutes andspoke about the injury and how
it affected me, and myrehabilitation and the community
support that I had behind it.
And then also I got to sharesome tips and tricks and
(17:48):
strategies with the other peoplein the room who had gone through
a similar injury.
Then my neuropsychologist andthe speech pathologist and the
OT talked about brain injury andwhat their role is as a
(18:09):
neuropsych or a speechpathologist.
And my neuropsych she was verywell-spoken and I could see it
in her, she was reaching out tothe crowd to be like'I really
want to help you too'.
You know she really just wantedto help everyone and she just
(18:32):
shared some rehab approaches andstrategies and just little
things.
Robbie - Host (18:38):
Anything that you want to share now?
William Cole - Guest (18:39):
I think I've got all mine out earlier
today.
But she was going on aboutcauses and effects and it was
great.
The question time was goodafterwards because a lot of
people were funnily enough,asking questions about comparing
themselves(to before).
(19:02):
One of the ways it was askedwas, one girl, she said she was
doing something and then shestopped and then she'd run into
the next room and come back andbe so frustrated at herself and
then wonder why(what she'dstarted) wasn't done.
And then she'd start gettingangry at herself for not doing
(19:23):
it.
And we sort of sat down andchatted about that for a couple
of minutes and came to thereason that she was comparing an
old(version of) herself to a newself that she'd switch all of a
sudden her attention and betrying to be her old self but
not accepting that she is a newself.
(19:44):
It was an amazing event.
We got it published in the paperand we had a turnout of about 30
to 40 people.
And you could see firsthand theimpact it had because after all
the speakers we had the questiontime and then a bit of chit
chat.
But at the start the wholegeneral vibe was a bit isolated
(20:06):
I suppose, like everyone wassort of just there waiting for
it to start and not reallyacknowledging each other and
just(thinking) who's that guy,who's this and dah, dah, dah.
But then afterwards, everyonesort of became friends and their
eyes had lit up and they werechatting.
And the amazing thing was theywere chatting about their
injuries and not feeling scaredor nervous or judged or
(20:28):
anything.
Robbie - Host (20:28):
Yep.
William Cole - Guest (20:30):
And that was, it was just unreal to see.
And of course the OT and myneuropsych and whatnot were
there.
And they were getting absolutelyworked out because a lot of
people were there.
A lot of carers were there aswell and they were asking things
that they'd noticed in theirpartners and they're taking on a
(20:52):
caring role and were chatting tothe professionals and getting
some tips and tricks.
There were also numbers beingexchanged with the neuro
psychologist and new clients.
So it was a very constructiveatmosphere.
Robbie - Host (21:07):
Beautiful.
It felt...it really felt like Iwas on top of the world after it
happened, because it was justsomething that really should be
happening more.
Totally.
William Cole - Guest (21:18):
And it was so reinforcing of the fact that,
yeah, where there's community,there's definitely a way out.
Like everything can really beresolved through a community and
help is on its way.
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (21:33):
Is it something you're hoping to kind of
replicate or continue?
William Cole - Guest (21:38):
Yeah absolutely.
Because I have sort of returnedback to my life.
I do, with my journal and stuff,I've been writing stuff about
it.
I sort of do need a big kick upthe bum to really start getting
going again.
But I'm very passionate aboutit.
Robbie - Host (21:55):
You're doing alright!
William Cole - Guest (21:56):
I'm working a bit flat and that
annoyingly takes over, but yeahI'd love to do more information
sessions.
It is a little bit tough becausewith the passing of my
wonderful, amazingneuropsychologist, she really
helped get the ball rolling.
(22:16):
But I guess if anyone islistening and wants to get the
ball rolling(with me), someonewho's keen...
I'd just be keen to put these sort o f days together or
information n ights for peopleto come across.
I've got a network of treaterswho would be more than happy to
(22:38):
speak and s o there's everythingthere.
We just need to start gettingthem more on the frequent and a
bit more of a structure andsystem behind it.
But I also n eed someone to helpme, to b e my offsider,to be
like"right, it's going to behere on this night and we've g
ot to get all this set up..."Because I think trying to do it
by myself w ould be a bit, a bitfull on, especially with my own
(22:58):
work commitments.
And going forward from there,one thing that I would also love
to be able to help out with isat the Epworth and it was quite
good because I was doing myEpworth longitudinal head
research study thing, and I waschatting to the girl about this
(23:18):
and it was a mentorship programof people w ho've had brain
injuries to be able to go intothe hospital and meet people who
have had the same injury maybe acouple of weeks after when t
hey're sort of feeling back tothemselves.
Just to be able to go in andchat and share their experiences
(23:40):
and sort of be a mentor, but you k now, not a mentor, like a
big brother or a big sister...
and just to be like"Hey, I've been there and...
Robbie - Host (23:47):
"I'm ok"
William Cole - Guest (23:47):
Yeah, exactly.
Just sort of reinforce that ittakes time and you've got to
work on some steps as opposed toother steps and just to help
guide them and to further thereassurance for their
rehabilitation.
And you never know, they stillmay be friends for 10 years or
(24:08):
something.
But to sort of get something inthe works that people who have
been through all of that andbeen(come) out of it, you know,
for five or so years, and haveobviously had plenty of
experience with the new self tobe able to go and share tricks
with those people in thehospital.
Because we had, like, when I wasat the Epworth we had breakfast
(24:32):
club and stuff and that wouldbreak up the day, but, well,
it's tough to say, but it wasquite dull because you're all in
bed or, you know, you're all illand in hospital, so no one's
really trying to be chirpy, youknow, stuff like that.
Um,
Robbie - Host (24:51):
So just to have some people, an injection of
some people coming back in whounderstand, but have come out
the other side and can(sharetheir experiences)
William Cole - Gues (24:57):
Absolutely.
I just think it would be ofbenefit to the hospital and the
people who have had thoseinjuries a lot more and maybe
help them change their attitude.
Because I think the whole thingfor me personally has been, just
your mindset behind what youbelieve in and what you don't
(25:21):
and just your mentality behindit.
I think for that event, peoplewould hear and see these other
people and feel like, you know,they got some helpful tricks and
(thought) yep, that's gonna beme in a couple of years.
I'll be out of here and be backto myself or doing what I want
to be doing at least.
Robbie - Host (25:41):
Brilliant.
Well we'll watch this space andlook forward to seeing that
program take off.
William Cole - Gues (25:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Robbie - Host (25:47):
Is there anything in particular that you'd like to
share before we wrap up?
Any thank you's or any sort offinal thoughts you want to leave
with people?
William Cole - Guest (25:58):
Always want to get better and always
have a good relationship withyour doctor or treater because
they put in a hard amount ofwork for you to help you get
better.
So always be respectful of themand the work that they do.
And so too with carers.
A massive thank you to AmbulanceVictoria, the chopper driver,
(26:26):
the Epworth, the Royal Melbournehospital and all the treaters:
the occupational therapist...thewhole of them across the bloody
nation.
They're really, really doinggreat work and really helping
out people that have experiencedhitting rock bottom through an
accident or a fall...orsomething.
Because yeah, it's just amazingto have these systems set up in
(26:54):
place behind it and yeah, ahuge, huge, thank you to the TAC
(Traffic Accident Commission).
Without them, oh God, I heard astory when I was in the bed.
My mate said there was a guy inAmerica who had a similar
accident and he woke up and hegot slapped with about a$600,000
bill.
His response was"Why didn't youkill me?
(27:15):
I can't afford to pay that".
So it's amazing to have such agood, such good things in place
in this country.
And just to know that they'rereally caring for you and they
will help you, fund you or dowhatever(they need to).
They're really good people.
I think that sort of covers itin terms of thank you's, I guess
(27:42):
my friends and family andcommunity.
They're all amazing in their ownregards.
But yeah, that's quite it....Ifyou are listening, keep on being
you and you shall keep on.
Robbie - Host (27:59):
Thank you very much.
You're an inspiration and I lookforward to seeing you...
I mean, to me, you already looklike you're a hundred percent.
You look brilliant.
You sound fantastic.
But yeah, best of luck on thecontinued recovery back to a
hundred percent or towards ahundred percent of your new
self.
And I'll look forward towatching your progress and
(28:21):
seeing what you do.
Thanks so much for your time.
William Cole - Guest (28:23):
Thank you very much Robbie.
Cheers.
Robbie - Outro (28:48):
I'll have show notes on everything we talked
about this episode on thepodcast website, along with a
full transcript if you find thateasier to follow along or to
find what you need.
Now, I do need to highlight thatneither I, nor any of the people
that I interview on this podcastare medical professionals.
The advice and learnings whichwe share during our discussions
are not medical advice andshould be considered and
(29:10):
reviewed in consultation with atrusted medical professional
prior to being acted upon.
These are our learnings from ourexperiences take what is
valuable and leave the rest.
Next episode, we'll be speakingwith Trevor Barker, a tremendous
fellow who's experiences fromliving and recovering from
chronic pain, are both shockingand awe inspiring.
(29:31):
To give you a sneak peek,following a minor back injury at
his workplace during histwenties, his quality of life
deteriorated over the subsequentyears to such a point due to the
increasing and broadening painthat by the age of 53, he could
no longer work, he'd lost hisfamily, his friends, and all
forms of social connection.
(29:52):
He was considering his nextmove, which at that point was to
check himself into a retirementvillage for the rest of his
days.
His learnings in recoverythough, when they came were
shockingly swift and he's nowback to a full and active life,
working, in a lovingrelationship, very happy and now
(30:13):
an incredible advocate andsupport for others still within
the darkness.
He's a passionate and creativeindividual and a fantastic
storyteller.
And I look forward to sharinghis story of recovery with you.
Until then, I wish you courageand energy on your own journey
forward.
Thanks for listening.
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