November 29, 2023 • 23 mins
Join Kristelle and Jace as they traverse personal stories of gratitude and kindness, sharing how these heartfelt experiences have played a crucial role in their success.
We don't stop at personal stories, though. We also examine the power kindness holds in leadership and its significance in our societal fabric. As we welcome the holiday season, we remind ourselves and our listeners about the profound impact of kindness and gratitude. So, pull up a chair, lend us your ears, and let's start this journey of kindness together.
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka
Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
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Follow Kristelle @kristellesiarza
www.misskristelle.com
Follow Jace @jacedowneyofficial
www.jacedowney.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jace (00:00):
Kindness can be just.
It can be the smile, it can belistening, it can be expressing
something in a gentler way.
You know, it can be a lot ofdifferent things.
It can just be like, hey, howare you doing?
Like, are you doing okay?
And like actually listening forthe answer or giving a hug.
Kristelle (00:21):
Okay, we have to begin now, don't you ever feel
really excited whenever you clapthat thing?
I?
Jace (00:26):
always feel really excited when I clap that thing.
Kristelle (00:29):
Hey it's the day after Thanksgiving weekend.
Yep, the four day weekend.
Yes, welcome back.
Excited to have you back,excited to have you all back on
Stories, success and Stuff.
I'm gonna jump right into it,because not only are we.
Let me start with this, thetopic is kindness.
(00:53):
But before we talk aboutkindness, let me ask you what
were you thinking?
I know that you were verythankful for the company, but,
personally, what were youthankful for for Thanksgiving?
Jace (01:03):
I am thankful for having a strong group of people in my
life.
So my family didn't gettogether this Thanksgiving,
which was sad.
I'm pretty traditional when itcomes to the holidays, so we
didn't get together.
So I said but I have reallybeautiful, wonderful friends
here in town so I got to spendtime with them and they're kind
(01:23):
of my chosen family.
Yeah, yeah, so that was reallynice.
Yeah, and my big sister, myoldest sister, did come and
joined for one of them and thatwas really fun and we have a lot
of fun together.
Yeah, and so that and that wasa relationship that was pretty
tumultuous for big parts of ourlife.
Yeah, and the fact that you twocan come together now, yeah, and
that we actually really liketime together, so I was really
(01:43):
grateful for that, and this is Iknow we're like let's do an
upbeat episode, but unless thereare some wild magical things in
the mix, these will beCharlie's last holidays, so I
was super thankful that he ishere and that the pups are happy
and healthy.
Well, we had a pretty toughhealth weekend for Charlie, but
(02:09):
he's here and he's happy, and sojust recognizing like next
Thanksgiving will feel verydifferent.
It'll be the first one in myadult life without him, and so
staying in the present Isimportant With that now.
Kristelle (02:24):
And that's the next episode for sure.
And I mean it plays into.
Kindness is our topic for today, but gratitude is obviously
something that brings us joy, soI'm sure that you were grateful
to spend those moments with him.
Jace (02:37):
Absolutely, which is huge.
What about you?
Kristelle (02:39):
Chosen.
Family is very important to meas well, but this is my first
Thanksgiving as a married couple.
It was really nerve-wracking atfirst, because it was the first
time our families, like,actually were in the same
household together.
And the whole time I was likeit's hot in here, somebody turn
up the damn AC.
I am like is this whatmenopause feels like?
(03:00):
That was me whole Thanksgiving,oh wow.
But I cooked my ass off becauseI love the traditional sides.
Well, I love food, and there'sso many things about preparing
for a party that just remind meof my mom and my dad.
Jace (03:15):
And I miss them.
Kristelle (03:16):
They're in the Philippines.
Like, thank God I still havethem.
But it definitely became amoment of well, I wish they were
here, but I'm gonna definitelycrush it.
I fucking crushed Thanksgiving.
Nice.
I started cooking Tuesday night, cooked all day Wednesday and
then finished off everything onThursday and, like, got to take
(03:38):
my time With the fact that it'stime to now invest into shaping
dishes.
Everything was great, mine sansthe shaping dish little debacle
that we had.
Jace (03:48):
Shaving dishes.
Kristelle (03:49):
Yeah, yeah, Not like when runners run and it hurts,
like not that type of shaping,but like buffet servers, like
with the burners the butaneburners they're called chafing.
Jace (04:01):
Yeah, that does not sound appetizing at all.
Kristelle (04:05):
Buffet dishes.
Yeah, okay, okay, on the nextepisode of Stories to Session.
Jace (04:10):
I'm hearing like chafing and like no, I don't know it's
not producing good things in myhead.
It's okay.
It's like serving Buffet.
Kristelle (04:18):
Serving dishes yeah, buffet tables, yeah yeah, so,
like my parents run a restaurantcalled Castellina Angeles in
San Fernando, which is in thePhilippines, and I'm always
appreciative of the time, of theamount of kindness that they
show in their homes in Cebu andthen also here when they're back
home in Albuquerque, so it'salways really nice whenever we
(04:40):
have a get-together just to cookand actually like nail a recipe
and everything's like reallygood, everything's really
delicious, like I actually enjoy.
I don't usually like myleftovers when I cook.
I don't usually eat.
Jace (04:52):
I would die without leftovers.
Kristelle (04:54):
I am my life.
I am still enjoying leftoversafter day four and I'm pretty
proud of myself.
Jace (04:59):
Anyways, Well before we leave, food and gratitude and
kindness, a friend asked me likewhat was your bed, what was
your favorite thing?
I'm like oh no, this was handsdown the best tasting
Thanksgiving that I haveattended.
And I cooked and baked as well.
But my really good friend, myclosest girlfriend in town, she
converted her whole menu togluten free.
Kristelle (05:21):
Oh, wow.
Jace (05:22):
For me.
Kristelle (05:22):
Yeah, oh, I should have known.
Jace (05:24):
I'm like what's my stuffing recipe?
She, oh my gosh, her stuffing.
I literally like I wasspeechless.
It was so good.
So she did gluten free mac andcheese stuffing.
She did a mushroom gravy for me, oh wow.
And like, she did a gluten freewalnut pie.
I did a pumpkin pie, I did apot pie, but like, so I got to
(05:45):
eat everything this year.
Oh, that's really sweet.
Yeah, yeah, and like.
And she did her regular stufftoo.
So she ultra cooked, but shereally went out of her way to
make sure that I could haveeverything for Thanksgiving,
which, to me, like food is.
food and time are my lovelanguages.
And so someone taking time tomake me food and to go out of,
(06:07):
like that to me, I was like intears afterwards, like in the
mix of it was like busy andwhatever.
But that level of kindness whensomeone will do something for
you, yes, like so caring for me,that just was so touch.
And then I'm still eating itand like I was telling her, like
you're mac and cheese at threeo'clock in the morning, I was
(06:27):
like that's the best, like it'severything.
Kristelle (06:30):
Well, it's a really great segue into the topic of
kindness.
Jace (06:32):
Right.
Kristelle (06:33):
Like what's the best way you know?
There are studies have shownthat kindness actually helps
with mental health right.
Taking that high road, but youbring up things.
It was really funny, actually.
My son said this today he goes.
I learned that a way to awoman's heart my son's 15, a way
to a woman's heart is throughfood.
And I was like yes, yes, younailed it Right and it's, and
(06:54):
he's.
He can be kind when he's notbeing a teenage boy, a teenage
boy.
So what, in your opinion, isthe best way for somebody to
show kindness?
Is it what we see in currentevents, or is it an adaptation
per person?
(07:14):
Is it like especially curatedfor that individual?
Jace (07:18):
I think it's especially curated per individual and
different circumstances as well.
Like my friend, spending hoursmaking things for me, that's
incredible Kindness.
It was so touching.
But I also think about a timenot too long ago where I was
stressed out and I wasfrustrated and I was just kind
of in a really tough morning andI'm walking the pups and
(07:42):
there's this lady across thestreet who's looking over and we
kind of make eye contact andlike oh hey, like the quick good
morning, but she keeps lookingat me.
Kristelle (07:50):
Is this the same lady that called out your Abba
concert?
Jace (07:53):
No.
Kristelle (07:53):
No, no, no, no no.
Jace (07:55):
No, this is just a stranger.
I don't know who this is, butshe smiled at me and I smiled
back.
But then she just held my gazeand, like, really smiled at me,
made sure I received that.
I don't know why.
I don't know if she could tellI needed it or if it was just
the universe working through her.
But that was a simple,momentary act of smiling at me
(08:20):
and it completely transformed myday.
It just reminded me like, ohyeah, be in the present, like be
in that connection.
I'm cared about, I'm not alone.
There was a lot packed in thereand it was just a tiny little
smile from a stranger, that's so.
Kristelle (08:36):
That's so warming to me and I think of these every
time.
I think of a kindness and it'show my brain is wired now,
especially after working withthem for so long.
But we have this really greatnonprofit that we work with, the
Jennifer Reardon Foundation Inhonor of Jennifer Reardon, an
amazing community individualthat her legacy lives on through
(08:56):
kind, loving, caring andsharing her motto.
I want to be her at some pointin time, right.
But what was really great isthat moments like that get
beautifully captured through thekindness app, and so I and when
I think.
What I love about the teamworking on that project is it
takes them.
You take a moment where youlike, sit and you are present in
(09:22):
the kindness that.
Not many people feel thatfeeling because their day just
goes on or life just happens ortheir schedules goes on, but the
fact that we get the kindnessthat makes you sit and reflect
about what did you do, that'skind enough today.
That helps you through grief,helps you through pain, helps
you through the bad times, thegood times, whatever you might
(09:43):
be going through, kindnessreally is healing.
Jace (09:45):
Yeah.
Kristelle (09:47):
And in a particular moment in my life is that my son
was eight, eight around, sevenor eight.
He had just moved back and Iwas really tired.
It was 2017, I remember like itwas yesterday.
It was the week that my momstarted to go through her major
health challenges.
She's a pancreatic cancersurvivor and it was just when we
(10:09):
started to discover everythingkind of going down.
December and January was when itstarted to happen, and I was at
the Sadies, just right aroundthe corner, and Jonathan and I
just sat in the back in a big,wide room and there was only
four people there.
Oh, there was only three peoplethere.
It was my son and I and thisrandom lady she gave and you
talking about like that smile,that genuine smile.
(10:30):
She looked at me and I had amoment of wow.
She was really nice, but Ithought why is she so friendly?
She didn't say anything to me.
Well, she walked off and she'slike having a day and I was like
okay, bye.
And you know, jonathan was justlike I want soapy peas, I want
(10:50):
this, and I'm like I'm fuckingtired.
Jace (10:53):
I don't wanna cook.
Kristelle (10:54):
My mom is like not well right now.
My Spencer and Anaheim werejust dating and I was like he's
here but like he doesn'tunderstand what's going on, and
now they're getting mad at himfor being my boyfriend, us
moving in together.
Jace (11:07):
That's what it was.
Kristelle (11:08):
And all of a sudden, I get this napkin.
I still have the napkin to thisday and it said I appreciate it
when mom and sons are together.
I still like cry about it too.
I appreciate it.
She said something along thelines I appreciate it when mom
and sons get to have qualitytime together and dinner Hope
you have a good dinner together.
And she paid for my bill.
(11:29):
I died like.
I cried, I was like she had noidea what it was going through
and how difficult it was, andthen I said to myself it was
2017.
I said to myself I'm gonna dothe exact same thing that she
did for me.
It has to be like the perfectsituation.
It has to be a mom that looksreally tired and a kid.
And it happened a couple monthsago.
I felt like the act of kindnessthat I want, like and everybody
(11:52):
does acts of kindness in variousdifferent ways but it's really,
it's really fulfilling when youdo it, when, like it's that
serendipitous movie moment, likewe have Justin in the room and
so he understands like that,that that movie scene, that
cinematic scene, and thecinematic scene for me was
sitting at noodle house justright down the street and
Jonathan and I really love theirShaolong Bao, which is their
(12:15):
scene dumplings.
So we're sitting seeingdumplings and I see this mom
walk in and she's like visiblytired.
She's in her scrub still andshe has this two year old.
That's Iron man.
Iron man walked in and they sattogether.
He got the biggest meal and shehad the smallest cup of soup
and I was like I know exactlywhat she's doing and so I said
to Jonathan it was like hey, bud, do you remember that one time?
(12:37):
And he goes is it time to payit forward?
Sure enough, like kindnesscomes in the most craziest ways.
Jace (12:44):
Yeah.
Kristelle (12:44):
The craziest, the craziest stories.
And like I don't like to gloatkindness, I don't, I don't, I
don't like to brag aboutkindness, I don't like to brag
about the fact that our teamdoes what we do in the kind
moments that we have, but, atthe end of the day, like it
helps us be human, kindnesshelps us be human in the most
(13:05):
craziest times of our lives.
I think Absolutely so.
What do you?
Jace (13:09):
think about.
I know a lot of people getupset when kindness is
publicized, like oh, youshouldn't, you shouldn't tell
anybody or you shouldn'tdocument it because, then it's
selfish or it takes away from it, or you're not doing it to be
kind, you're doing it foryourself.
But there's a lot of ideas andpeople get really annoyed when
others show their kindness.
But there is a guy on I see himon Instagram.
(13:31):
I don't know who it is.
Mr Beast?
No, oh, okay, I don't think so.
Okay.
Tell me, tell me, what is he, hegoes and like, goes to little,
he's not in America, orsometimes he is.
Kristelle (13:43):
Yeah, I don't know, it's not Mr Beast.
Jace (13:44):
Okay, um, but he'll go to like a taco stand and be like
how much for all of your tacos.
And he'll just buy out theentire truck and then put out
signs for like free tacos andjust buy lunch for everybody,
that's right.
Or he went to um, where likeday workers are and was like hey
(14:05):
, I need four or three orwhatever, like who's available,
and then just took them toDisneyland.
Oh, that guy, that guy.
Kristelle (14:12):
Yeah, that guy was so rad, yeah, and like.
Jace (14:14):
so he gets flack for taping all of that.
But I love seeing it and to seethe result of that kindness and
to just transform somebody'sday with this simple act, right
when you know.
For some people buying out ataco truck wouldn't be simple,
but if you have the resourcesit's not that hard to do, right?
And so I like seeing that stuff.
It inspires me, like how can Ishow up in my day, even if it's
(14:39):
just a smile or even it's justlistening?
Listening is one of thegreatest acts of kindness.
Yeah, I've discovered.
Yeah, so what do you thinkabout people?
And it's not bragging.
To show something doesn't meanbragging.
It's not like oh, let me, letme tell you what I.
You know there's a difference,but what do you think?
Kristelle (14:53):
Yeah, it's when you put that fake on face.
It was when you put that fakeface on and you're just like.
Well, I did this because I feltlike it was in the goodness of
the community and have thatmochismo look Like.
That's when I say who is itserving?
Yeah, like.
I believe in the phrase servantleadership for a reason, and
(15:15):
servant leadership doesencompass um, it does encompass
empathy, it encompass kindness,it encompasses discipline, um,
and so those are three thingsthat I think servant leadership
really have.
Hmm, what he did today he'stelling his story.
I'm all for that.
(15:36):
I'm not for when you're tellingthe story to serve your ego
when you talked about ego in aprevious episode and it's
self-serving.
Like, if it genuinely bringsyou joy, don't shit on him.
Like don't shit on somebodyelse's joy because you're not
happy, until you become theperson that actually is the
recipient of that free fuckingtaco, they'll be like this guy's
(15:57):
fucking awesome Right.
Jace (15:59):
Who doesn't like free tacos?
They're like fucking free tacos, right.
Kristelle (16:02):
But my point is I get grumpy when people shit on
other people's kindness and makethem feel belittled.
Let him do what he does, aslong as he has it in the right
intentions.
I personally like to talk aboutwhen we volunteer and we do
kindness activities, when theonly time I like to do this is
(16:22):
not as a way to promote thecompany.
I don't think that's genuine.
I think it's more of a look atwhat we do as a team.
Yeah, it's a team building.
Jace (16:34):
We love it yeah.
Kristelle (16:35):
And we really like to get out of the office right,
and we like to keep things funaround here.
What's more fun than wrappingChristmas presents or setting up
food?
Jace (16:46):
at a food bank.
I was like I like when wecooked for Ronald McDonald house
charities.
That was really fun.
We all made a big meal together.
That was one of my favoritethings that we did.
And then to like, sit and share, Like again, food right.
Yeah, food Time kindness Likethose are my.
I love doing that together as ateam.
That was really special for me.
Kristelle (17:03):
Yeah, like, at the end of the day, we never.
I think the part that's alwaysreally nice but I never expect
it, is when we get letters ofthanks from the residents or we
don't get them at all.
I'm OK with that, I'm prettyhappy with that.
I think what becomes veryheartwarming is the fact that we
see kindness as a way of justportraying emotion or giving out
(17:27):
emotion, and I think that I'mstill of the vein that it's
harder to be positive than itit's easy to be negative.
I think staying positiveincludes taking the high road
and being kind.
I know I sound really angryabout kindness, but like I just
have, there's a lot of peoplethat ruin kindness and it's like
, don't do that.
Jace (17:45):
Right, and I think when we're showing it, when people
will display it and others getmad.
I'm like, but there's so manynegative things that get
displayed on the news, on social, on whatever, and it's like,
why not balance that with alsoseeing that there's a whole lot
of wonderful people and acts,way more than there are negative
, but we don't see them and thenyou get in trouble for showing
(18:08):
them and I'm like I'd like tosee them.
Bring on more displays of humanconnection Because, like you
said, we are actually wired forkindness and connection.
We have all kinds of rewardsthat are built in when kindness
is in the mix or when we arebeing in service or volunteering
or whatever, and it's like well, if it feels good to you, then
it's not.
That it's like doesn't countand it's like but we're designed
(18:31):
, we literally get rewarded withfeel good chemicals when we do
kind things.
Yeah, so why can't like?
It's supposed to be mutual.
Humans are designed for thingsto be mutually beneficial.
And kindness is one of them.
Kristelle (18:44):
Well, I always like, when you talk about the human
element and I talk aboutleadership, like I think that
there's that stigma ofleadership that's out there that
you have to be big, badass,boss, bitch, cool, yeah.
But the best bosses that peopleremember are the ones that were
incredibly kind, and bosses gettaken advantage of like their
(19:06):
kindness is genuine.
I've been that person wheresomebody took advantage of my
kindness.
It's very defeating, but thatcan't, I would say if any of you
all are listening, that areactual bosses right now, or in
charge of a company, a smallbusiness owner, and it gets very
hard whenever you're lookingfor continuing on your kindness
(19:27):
but you can't afford it, orsomebody abused it or somebody
just kind of spit it back inyour face, like it happens to us
small business owners.
It happens to us in leadershipJust keep going like, be kind,
because at the end of the day,no matter how much money you
have, people are gonna rememberyou for the kind act that you
(19:48):
did for them.
That's very true.
Jace (19:51):
And on all of this I was reminded in a really big way
last week somewhere that I gooften.
Somebody who also is thereoften, had gone, seemed totally
normal, was out just having whatappeared to be a regular night
this is not someone I'm close toand went home and killed
(20:15):
himself.
Oh no, yeah, and there was nolike clear sign of that
happening and it really hit me.
Not because I have a personalconnection.
I didn't particularly like theperson I know.
After someone's gone we'resupposed to like, oh, he's a
saint.
No, we didn't vibe, but thisidea and I was sitting there in
(20:38):
the same place that he had lastbeen beforehand and I'm looking
out at all of these people andI'm going.
We have no idea what any one ofthese people who are going
through at all, and we might and.
I've been that person where Ihave a smile on and I seem like
everything's okay and no one hadany idea.
Even when I was planning mysuicide, not a single person had
(20:58):
any idea of what was actuallygoing on inside and it was that
reminder to me to be kind.
There's that saying right, likewe don't know what people are
going through.
Be kind always.
And it was just that like holyshit, this person was here
amongst hundreds of people andthen went home and it was just
having a completely differentexperience inside than we saw
(21:21):
outside and I just thought, fuck, just be kind Like.
That doesn't mean I have toallow people to walk all over me
.
It doesn't mean that I don'tget to have boundaries.
People think that like, oh,we'll have to protect my
kindness can be just, it can bethe smile, it can be listening,
it can be expressing somethingin a gentler way.
You know it can be a lot ofdifferent things.
(21:41):
It can just be like hey, howare you doing?
Like, are you doing okay?
And like actually listening forthe answer or giving a hug.
You know it doesn't have to bethese big acts, but it was such
a huge reminder to me that I donot know what people are going
through inside.
Kristelle (21:56):
Yeah, and especially the holidays too.
I think, with all of the hooplathat's going on, it's important
to stick paid attention becauseyou never know, like you said,
what somebody is actually whatinner demon might be tackling
somebody on.
And I think it is important tokind of end on this good note
that, like, at the end of theday, life is very short and the
last thing that you want to beremembered for is just how kind
(22:18):
you are or the act of kindnessthat you might have did for
somebody, because that's gonnamake moves.
That's gonna make motions, youknow.
So it really does.
Yeah, I appreciate you talkingabout kindness and that human
element and having us anopportunity to, like, sit and
enjoy it.
I'm also looking forward to ournext topic.
Our next topic is Contentmentwhile striving forward.
(22:44):
Yes you said it better.
Yes, I was like.
Jace (22:46):
I was like how does it phrase that?
Yeah, this notion.
Kristelle (22:50):
Gratitude, no ego, no contentment got it.
Jace (22:55):
Yeah, how do we look towards the future and work
towards something while alsobeing in acceptance of the
present?
In acceptance of the present,for sure yeah harmonizing those
two not an easy task.
Kristelle (23:05):
Exciting episode for sure.
So thanks for joining us.
We really appreciate youlistening to us on stories,
success and stuff.
Hey, don't forget to subscribeon Spotify, on Apple iTunes and
any type of your favoritepodcast channel and, most
importantly, don't forget tofollow us on your favorite
social media channel.
At CRs of the agency.
I'm Crystal.
This is Jace.
Thanks for listening to Stories, success and Stuff.
(23:26):
Thank you.
Kindness can be just.
It can be the smile, it can belistening, it can be expressing
something in a gentler way.
You know, it can be a lot ofdifferent things.
It can just be like, hey, howare you doing?
Like, are you doing okay?
And like actually listening forthe answer or giving a hug.
Kristelle (00:21):
Okay, we have to begin now, don't you ever feel
really excited whenever you clapthat thing?
I?
Jace (00:26):
always feel really excited when I clap that thing.
Kristelle (00:29):
Hey it's the day after Thanksgiving weekend.
Yep, the four day weekend.
Yes, welcome back.
Excited to have you back,excited to have you all back on
Stories, success and Stuff.
I'm gonna jump right into it,because not only are we.
Let me start with this, thetopic is kindness.
(00:53):
But before we talk aboutkindness, let me ask you what
were you thinking?
I know that you were verythankful for the company, but,
personally, what were youthankful for for Thanksgiving?
Jace (01:03):
I am thankful for having a strong group of people in my
life.
So my family didn't gettogether this Thanksgiving,
which was sad.
I'm pretty traditional when itcomes to the holidays, so we
didn't get together.
So I said but I have reallybeautiful, wonderful friends
here in town so I got to spendtime with them and they're kind
(01:23):
of my chosen family.
Yeah, yeah, so that was reallynice.
Yeah, and my big sister, myoldest sister, did come and
joined for one of them and thatwas really fun and we have a lot
of fun together.
Yeah, and so that and that wasa relationship that was pretty
tumultuous for big parts of ourlife.
Yeah, and the fact that you twocan come together now, yeah, and
that we actually really liketime together, so I was really
(01:43):
grateful for that, and this is Iknow we're like let's do an
upbeat episode, but unless thereare some wild magical things in
the mix, these will beCharlie's last holidays, so I
was super thankful that he ishere and that the pups are happy
and healthy.
Well, we had a pretty toughhealth weekend for Charlie, but
(02:09):
he's here and he's happy, and sojust recognizing like next
Thanksgiving will feel verydifferent.
It'll be the first one in myadult life without him, and so
staying in the present Isimportant With that now.
Kristelle (02:24):
And that's the next episode for sure.
And I mean it plays into.
Kindness is our topic for today, but gratitude is obviously
something that brings us joy, soI'm sure that you were grateful
to spend those moments with him.
Jace (02:37):
Absolutely, which is huge.
What about you?
Kristelle (02:39):
Chosen.
Family is very important to meas well, but this is my first
Thanksgiving as a married couple.
It was really nerve-wracking atfirst, because it was the first
time our families, like,actually were in the same
household together.
And the whole time I was likeit's hot in here, somebody turn
up the damn AC.
I am like is this whatmenopause feels like?
(03:00):
That was me whole Thanksgiving,oh wow.
But I cooked my ass off becauseI love the traditional sides.
Well, I love food, and there'sso many things about preparing
for a party that just remind meof my mom and my dad.
Jace (03:15):
And I miss them.
Kristelle (03:16):
They're in the Philippines.
Like, thank God I still havethem.
But it definitely became amoment of well, I wish they were
here, but I'm gonna definitelycrush it.
I fucking crushed Thanksgiving.
Nice.
I started cooking Tuesday night, cooked all day Wednesday and
then finished off everything onThursday and, like, got to take
(03:38):
my time With the fact that it'stime to now invest into shaping
dishes.
Everything was great, mine sansthe shaping dish little debacle
that we had.
Jace (03:48):
Shaving dishes.
Kristelle (03:49):
Yeah, yeah, Not like when runners run and it hurts,
like not that type of shaping,but like buffet servers, like
with the burners the butaneburners they're called chafing.
Jace (04:01):
Yeah, that does not sound appetizing at all.
Kristelle (04:05):
Buffet dishes.
Yeah, okay, okay, on the nextepisode of Stories to Session.
Jace (04:10):
I'm hearing like chafing and like no, I don't know it's
not producing good things in myhead.
It's okay.
It's like serving Buffet.
Kristelle (04:18):
Serving dishes yeah, buffet tables, yeah yeah, so,
like my parents run a restaurantcalled Castellina Angeles in
San Fernando, which is in thePhilippines, and I'm always
appreciative of the time, of theamount of kindness that they
show in their homes in Cebu andthen also here when they're back
home in Albuquerque, so it'salways really nice whenever we
(04:40):
have a get-together just to cookand actually like nail a recipe
and everything's like reallygood, everything's really
delicious, like I actually enjoy.
I don't usually like myleftovers when I cook.
I don't usually eat.
Jace (04:52):
I would die without leftovers.
Kristelle (04:54):
I am my life.
I am still enjoying leftoversafter day four and I'm pretty
proud of myself.
Jace (04:59):
Anyways, Well before we leave, food and gratitude and
kindness, a friend asked me likewhat was your bed, what was
your favorite thing?
I'm like oh no, this was handsdown the best tasting
Thanksgiving that I haveattended.
And I cooked and baked as well.
But my really good friend, myclosest girlfriend in town, she
converted her whole menu togluten free.
Kristelle (05:21):
Oh, wow.
Jace (05:22):
For me.
Kristelle (05:22):
Yeah, oh, I should have known.
Jace (05:24):
I'm like what's my stuffing recipe?
She, oh my gosh, her stuffing.
I literally like I wasspeechless.
It was so good.
So she did gluten free mac andcheese stuffing.
She did a mushroom gravy for me, oh wow.
And like, she did a gluten freewalnut pie.
I did a pumpkin pie, I did apot pie, but like, so I got to
(05:45):
eat everything this year.
Oh, that's really sweet.
Yeah, yeah, and like.
And she did her regular stufftoo.
So she ultra cooked, but shereally went out of her way to
make sure that I could haveeverything for Thanksgiving,
which, to me, like food is.
food and time are my lovelanguages.
And so someone taking time tomake me food and to go out of,
(06:07):
like that to me, I was like intears afterwards, like in the
mix of it was like busy andwhatever.
But that level of kindness whensomeone will do something for
you, yes, like so caring for me,that just was so touch.
And then I'm still eating itand like I was telling her, like
you're mac and cheese at threeo'clock in the morning, I was
(06:27):
like that's the best, like it'severything.
Kristelle (06:30):
Well, it's a really great segue into the topic of
kindness.
Jace (06:32):
Right.
Kristelle (06:33):
Like what's the best way you know?
There are studies have shownthat kindness actually helps
with mental health right.
Taking that high road, but youbring up things.
It was really funny, actually.
My son said this today he goes.
I learned that a way to awoman's heart my son's 15, a way
to a woman's heart is throughfood.
And I was like yes, yes, younailed it Right and it's, and
(06:54):
he's.
He can be kind when he's notbeing a teenage boy, a teenage
boy.
So what, in your opinion, isthe best way for somebody to
show kindness?
Is it what we see in currentevents, or is it an adaptation
per person?
(07:14):
Is it like especially curatedfor that individual?
Jace (07:18):
I think it's especially curated per individual and
different circumstances as well.
Like my friend, spending hoursmaking things for me, that's
incredible Kindness.
It was so touching.
But I also think about a timenot too long ago where I was
stressed out and I wasfrustrated and I was just kind
of in a really tough morning andI'm walking the pups and
(07:42):
there's this lady across thestreet who's looking over and we
kind of make eye contact andlike oh hey, like the quick good
morning, but she keeps lookingat me.
Kristelle (07:50):
Is this the same lady that called out your Abba
concert?
Jace (07:53):
No.
Kristelle (07:53):
No, no, no, no no.
Jace (07:55):
No, this is just a stranger.
I don't know who this is, butshe smiled at me and I smiled
back.
But then she just held my gazeand, like, really smiled at me,
made sure I received that.
I don't know why.
I don't know if she could tellI needed it or if it was just
the universe working through her.
But that was a simple,momentary act of smiling at me
(08:20):
and it completely transformed myday.
It just reminded me like, ohyeah, be in the present, like be
in that connection.
I'm cared about, I'm not alone.
There was a lot packed in thereand it was just a tiny little
smile from a stranger, that's so.
Kristelle (08:36):
That's so warming to me and I think of these every
time.
I think of a kindness and it'show my brain is wired now,
especially after working withthem for so long.
But we have this really greatnonprofit that we work with, the
Jennifer Reardon Foundation Inhonor of Jennifer Reardon, an
amazing community individualthat her legacy lives on through
(08:56):
kind, loving, caring andsharing her motto.
I want to be her at some pointin time, right.
But what was really great isthat moments like that get
beautifully captured through thekindness app, and so I and when
I think.
What I love about the teamworking on that project is it
takes them.
You take a moment where youlike, sit and you are present in
(09:22):
the kindness that.
Not many people feel thatfeeling because their day just
goes on or life just happens ortheir schedules goes on, but the
fact that we get the kindnessthat makes you sit and reflect
about what did you do, that'skind enough today.
That helps you through grief,helps you through pain, helps
you through the bad times, thegood times, whatever you might
(09:43):
be going through, kindnessreally is healing.
Jace (09:45):
Yeah.
Kristelle (09:47):
And in a particular moment in my life is that my son
was eight, eight around, sevenor eight.
He had just moved back and Iwas really tired.
It was 2017, I remember like itwas yesterday.
It was the week that my momstarted to go through her major
health challenges.
She's a pancreatic cancersurvivor and it was just when we
(10:09):
started to discover everythingkind of going down.
December and January was when itstarted to happen, and I was at
the Sadies, just right aroundthe corner, and Jonathan and I
just sat in the back in a big,wide room and there was only
four people there.
Oh, there was only three peoplethere.
It was my son and I and thisrandom lady she gave and you
talking about like that smile,that genuine smile.
(10:30):
She looked at me and I had amoment of wow.
She was really nice, but Ithought why is she so friendly?
She didn't say anything to me.
Well, she walked off and she'slike having a day and I was like
okay, bye.
And you know, jonathan was justlike I want soapy peas, I want
(10:50):
this, and I'm like I'm fuckingtired.
Jace (10:53):
I don't wanna cook.
Kristelle (10:54):
My mom is like not well right now.
My Spencer and Anaheim werejust dating and I was like he's
here but like he doesn'tunderstand what's going on, and
now they're getting mad at himfor being my boyfriend, us
moving in together.
Jace (11:07):
That's what it was.
Kristelle (11:08):
And all of a sudden, I get this napkin.
I still have the napkin to thisday and it said I appreciate it
when mom and sons are together.
I still like cry about it too.
I appreciate it.
She said something along thelines I appreciate it when mom
and sons get to have qualitytime together and dinner Hope
you have a good dinner together.
And she paid for my bill.
(11:29):
I died like.
I cried, I was like she had noidea what it was going through
and how difficult it was, andthen I said to myself it was
2017.
I said to myself I'm gonna dothe exact same thing that she
did for me.
It has to be like the perfectsituation.
It has to be a mom that looksreally tired and a kid.
And it happened a couple monthsago.
I felt like the act of kindnessthat I want, like and everybody
(11:52):
does acts of kindness in variousdifferent ways but it's really,
it's really fulfilling when youdo it, when, like it's that
serendipitous movie moment, likewe have Justin in the room and
so he understands like that,that that movie scene, that
cinematic scene, and thecinematic scene for me was
sitting at noodle house justright down the street and
Jonathan and I really love theirShaolong Bao, which is their
(12:15):
scene dumplings.
So we're sitting seeingdumplings and I see this mom
walk in and she's like visiblytired.
She's in her scrub still andshe has this two year old.
That's Iron man.
Iron man walked in and they sattogether.
He got the biggest meal and shehad the smallest cup of soup
and I was like I know exactlywhat she's doing and so I said
to Jonathan it was like hey, bud, do you remember that one time?
(12:37):
And he goes is it time to payit forward?
Sure enough, like kindnesscomes in the most craziest ways.
Jace (12:44):
Yeah.
Kristelle (12:44):
The craziest, the craziest stories.
And like I don't like to gloatkindness, I don't, I don't, I
don't like to brag aboutkindness, I don't like to brag
about the fact that our teamdoes what we do in the kind
moments that we have, but, atthe end of the day, like it
helps us be human, kindnesshelps us be human in the most
(13:05):
craziest times of our lives.
I think Absolutely so.
What do you?
Jace (13:09):
think about.
I know a lot of people getupset when kindness is
publicized, like oh, youshouldn't, you shouldn't tell
anybody or you shouldn'tdocument it because, then it's
selfish or it takes away from it, or you're not doing it to be
kind, you're doing it foryourself.
But there's a lot of ideas andpeople get really annoyed when
others show their kindness.
But there is a guy on I see himon Instagram.
(13:31):
I don't know who it is.
Mr Beast?
No, oh, okay, I don't think so.
Okay.
Tell me, tell me, what is he, hegoes and like, goes to little,
he's not in America, orsometimes he is.
Kristelle (13:43):
Yeah, I don't know, it's not Mr Beast.
Jace (13:44):
Okay, um, but he'll go to like a taco stand and be like
how much for all of your tacos.
And he'll just buy out theentire truck and then put out
signs for like free tacos andjust buy lunch for everybody,
that's right.
Or he went to um, where likeday workers are and was like hey
(14:05):
, I need four or three orwhatever, like who's available,
and then just took them toDisneyland.
Oh, that guy, that guy.
Kristelle (14:12):
Yeah, that guy was so rad, yeah, and like.
Jace (14:14):
so he gets flack for taping all of that.
But I love seeing it and to seethe result of that kindness and
to just transform somebody'sday with this simple act, right
when you know.
For some people buying out ataco truck wouldn't be simple,
but if you have the resourcesit's not that hard to do, right?
And so I like seeing that stuff.
It inspires me, like how can Ishow up in my day, even if it's
(14:39):
just a smile or even it's justlistening?
Listening is one of thegreatest acts of kindness.
Yeah, I've discovered.
Yeah, so what do you thinkabout people?
And it's not bragging.
To show something doesn't meanbragging.
It's not like oh, let me, letme tell you what I.
You know there's a difference,but what do you think?
Kristelle (14:53):
Yeah, it's when you put that fake on face.
It was when you put that fakeface on and you're just like.
Well, I did this because I feltlike it was in the goodness of
the community and have thatmochismo look Like.
That's when I say who is itserving?
Yeah, like.
I believe in the phrase servantleadership for a reason, and
(15:15):
servant leadership doesencompass um, it does encompass
empathy, it encompass kindness,it encompasses discipline, um,
and so those are three thingsthat I think servant leadership
really have.
Hmm, what he did today he'stelling his story.
I'm all for that.
(15:36):
I'm not for when you're tellingthe story to serve your ego
when you talked about ego in aprevious episode and it's
self-serving.
Like, if it genuinely bringsyou joy, don't shit on him.
Like don't shit on somebodyelse's joy because you're not
happy, until you become theperson that actually is the
recipient of that free fuckingtaco, they'll be like this guy's
(15:57):
fucking awesome Right.
Jace (15:59):
Who doesn't like free tacos?
They're like fucking free tacos, right.
Kristelle (16:02):
But my point is I get grumpy when people shit on
other people's kindness and makethem feel belittled.
Let him do what he does, aslong as he has it in the right
intentions.
I personally like to talk aboutwhen we volunteer and we do
kindness activities, when theonly time I like to do this is
(16:22):
not as a way to promote thecompany.
I don't think that's genuine.
I think it's more of a look atwhat we do as a team.
Yeah, it's a team building.
Jace (16:34):
We love it yeah.
Kristelle (16:35):
And we really like to get out of the office right,
and we like to keep things funaround here.
What's more fun than wrappingChristmas presents or setting up
food?
Jace (16:46):
at a food bank.
I was like I like when wecooked for Ronald McDonald house
charities.
That was really fun.
We all made a big meal together.
That was one of my favoritethings that we did.
And then to like, sit and share, Like again, food right.
Yeah, food Time kindness Likethose are my.
I love doing that together as ateam.
That was really special for me.
Kristelle (17:03):
Yeah, like, at the end of the day, we never.
I think the part that's alwaysreally nice but I never expect
it, is when we get letters ofthanks from the residents or we
don't get them at all.
I'm OK with that, I'm prettyhappy with that.
I think what becomes veryheartwarming is the fact that we
see kindness as a way of justportraying emotion or giving out
(17:27):
emotion, and I think that I'mstill of the vein that it's
harder to be positive than itit's easy to be negative.
I think staying positiveincludes taking the high road
and being kind.
I know I sound really angryabout kindness, but like I just
have, there's a lot of peoplethat ruin kindness and it's like
, don't do that.
Jace (17:45):
Right, and I think when we're showing it, when people
will display it and others getmad.
I'm like, but there's so manynegative things that get
displayed on the news, on social, on whatever, and it's like,
why not balance that with alsoseeing that there's a whole lot
of wonderful people and acts,way more than there are negative
, but we don't see them and thenyou get in trouble for showing
(18:08):
them and I'm like I'd like tosee them.
Bring on more displays of humanconnection Because, like you
said, we are actually wired forkindness and connection.
We have all kinds of rewardsthat are built in when kindness
is in the mix or when we arebeing in service or volunteering
or whatever, and it's like well, if it feels good to you, then
it's not.
That it's like doesn't countand it's like but we're designed
(18:31):
, we literally get rewarded withfeel good chemicals when we do
kind things.
Yeah, so why can't like?
It's supposed to be mutual.
Humans are designed for thingsto be mutually beneficial.
And kindness is one of them.
Kristelle (18:44):
Well, I always like, when you talk about the human
element and I talk aboutleadership, like I think that
there's that stigma ofleadership that's out there that
you have to be big, badass,boss, bitch, cool, yeah.
But the best bosses that peopleremember are the ones that were
incredibly kind, and bosses gettaken advantage of like their
(19:06):
kindness is genuine.
I've been that person wheresomebody took advantage of my
kindness.
It's very defeating, but thatcan't, I would say if any of you
all are listening, that areactual bosses right now, or in
charge of a company, a smallbusiness owner, and it gets very
hard whenever you're lookingfor continuing on your kindness
(19:27):
but you can't afford it, orsomebody abused it or somebody
just kind of spit it back inyour face, like it happens to us
small business owners.
It happens to us in leadershipJust keep going like, be kind,
because at the end of the day,no matter how much money you
have, people are gonna rememberyou for the kind act that you
(19:48):
did for them.
That's very true.
Jace (19:51):
And on all of this I was reminded in a really big way
last week somewhere that I gooften.
Somebody who also is thereoften, had gone, seemed totally
normal, was out just having whatappeared to be a regular night
this is not someone I'm close toand went home and killed
(20:15):
himself.
Oh no, yeah, and there was nolike clear sign of that
happening and it really hit me.
Not because I have a personalconnection.
I didn't particularly like theperson I know.
After someone's gone we'resupposed to like, oh, he's a
saint.
No, we didn't vibe, but thisidea and I was sitting there in
(20:38):
the same place that he had lastbeen beforehand and I'm looking
out at all of these people andI'm going.
We have no idea what any one ofthese people who are going
through at all, and we might and.
I've been that person where Ihave a smile on and I seem like
everything's okay and no one hadany idea.
Even when I was planning mysuicide, not a single person had
(20:58):
any idea of what was actuallygoing on inside and it was that
reminder to me to be kind.
There's that saying right, likewe don't know what people are
going through.
Be kind always.
And it was just that like holyshit, this person was here
amongst hundreds of people andthen went home and it was just
having a completely differentexperience inside than we saw
(21:21):
outside and I just thought, fuck, just be kind Like.
That doesn't mean I have toallow people to walk all over me
.
It doesn't mean that I don'tget to have boundaries.
People think that like, oh,we'll have to protect my
kindness can be just, it can bethe smile, it can be listening,
it can be expressing somethingin a gentler way.
You know it can be a lot ofdifferent things.
(21:41):
It can just be like hey, howare you doing?
Like, are you doing okay?
And like actually listening forthe answer or giving a hug.
You know it doesn't have to bethese big acts, but it was such
a huge reminder to me that I donot know what people are going
through inside.
Kristelle (21:56):
Yeah, and especially the holidays too.
I think, with all of the hooplathat's going on, it's important
to stick paid attention becauseyou never know, like you said,
what somebody is actually whatinner demon might be tackling
somebody on.
And I think it is important tokind of end on this good note
that, like, at the end of theday, life is very short and the
last thing that you want to beremembered for is just how kind
(22:18):
you are or the act of kindnessthat you might have did for
somebody, because that's gonnamake moves.
That's gonna make motions, youknow.
So it really does.
Yeah, I appreciate you talkingabout kindness and that human
element and having us anopportunity to, like, sit and
enjoy it.
I'm also looking forward to ournext topic.
Our next topic is Contentmentwhile striving forward.
(22:44):
Yes you said it better.
Yes, I was like.
Jace (22:46):
I was like how does it phrase that?
Yeah, this notion.
Kristelle (22:50):
Gratitude, no ego, no contentment got it.
Jace (22:55):
Yeah, how do we look towards the future and work
towards something while alsobeing in acceptance of the
present?
In acceptance of the present,for sure yeah harmonizing those
two not an easy task.
Kristelle (23:05):
Exciting episode for sure.
So thanks for joining us.
We really appreciate youlistening to us on stories,
success and stuff.
Hey, don't forget to subscribeon Spotify, on Apple iTunes and
any type of your favoritepodcast channel and, most
importantly, don't forget tofollow us on your favorite
social media channel.
At CRs of the agency.
I'm Crystal.
This is Jace.
Thanks for listening to Stories, success and Stuff.
(23:26):
Thank you.
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