January 30, 2024 • 29 mins
Welcome back, dear friends! As we kick off the new year and our second podcast season, gratitude fills our hearts for your steadfast support. In this season, we continue to spin tales of triumph and self-awareness, weaving them into a vibrant tapestry of laughter and shared experiences, emphasizing that the journey of growth is best experienced together.
We're all about realistic ambitions over here—celebrating the small wins, like remembering to fill up the car before the dreaded 'E' looms, and embracing those liberating "whatever" moments when plans go awry. Sharing a slice of our lives, from family histories to our afternoon soda rituals, we're underscoring the importance of self-compassion and embracing our unique paths through life.
So, pull up a chair, grab your beverage of choice, and let's toast to individuality, the joy of collective growth, and, of course, finding success on our own terms!
We're all about realistic ambitions over here—celebrating the small wins, like remembering to fill up the car before the dreaded 'E' looms, and embracing those liberating "whatever" moments when plans go awry. Sharing a slice of our lives, from family histories to our afternoon soda rituals, we're underscoring the importance of self-compassion and embracing our unique paths through life.
So, pull up a chair, grab your beverage of choice, and let's toast to individuality, the joy of collective growth, and, of course, finding success on our own terms!
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka
Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
Follow us on FB, IG, TT, YT and TW @siarzatheagency
Follow Kristelle @kristellesiarza
www.misskristelle.com
Follow Jace @jacedowneyofficial
www.jacedowney.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kristelle (00:00):
One of the things that you wrote down was patience
over planning.
What does that mean Exactly,especially in the context of
resolutions?
Jace (00:08):
Yes, it's season two.
Kristelle (00:16):
I don't know why that had to happen.
Yeah, no, no, no, it's OK.
Justin knew I was going to bescreaming.
Season two yeah.
That's why he was just likepushing the microphones away.
Jace (00:26):
Get this out of your face.
Please don't make that jobharder.
Kristelle (00:31):
Oh my God, you people .
Happy new year, Happy new yearyes.
I am very excited about seasontwo, yes, and the new year.
We have had such great successon the show.
Thank you to all of ourlisteners, our viewers, our
friends, our moms, our everybodythat has been such a big
support on stories, success andstuff.
(00:51):
During the break we have notonly planned an incredible
season of content, of joy, ofstories of tears we can't really
plan our tears, but that's OK.
Jace (01:01):
We can't.
We could try.
We can't no.
Kristelle (01:03):
Yeah, maybe.
Jace (01:04):
Could say really insulting things to one another until one
of us cries.
I mean it's totally off brand.
But we could do it.
I'm just saying we're in chargeso we can do that if we want.
I don't like this episode.
It's not fun anymore.
Kristelle (01:14):
Most importantly, thanks to Jace and to Justin for
having such a great, successfulpodcast.
We've heard from folks from themayor's office, from folks from
Alaska.
If you were in Alaska, yeah,what They'd be chilling.
Yeah, jennifer, thank you, loveyou.
I think you've been so fuckinghilarious.
(01:34):
Every single time I hear you.
Jace (01:36):
And thank you for laughing at that bad joke, Justin.
I appreciate that.
I totally missed it.
Kristelle (01:40):
In unintentionally, accidentally.
Jace (01:43):
Sorry, it was in neighboring territory.
Kristelle (01:48):
OK, I got that one.
We are exploring I could makean explorer joke, but I won't.
We're exploring the topic todayof resolving resolutions,
resolutions for whatever itmight be through the new year,
the old years, that you mighthave had Resolutions.
Are you a resolution maker?
Jace (02:07):
No.
Kristelle (02:08):
No.
Jace (02:09):
And if we're diving right in.
My whole system got like wetalked endings and beginnings at
the end.
Kristelle (02:16):
Does that sound different?
For exploding yeah, oh, ok.
Jace (02:19):
It was like an explosion crumble scenario.
Kristelle (02:20):
It sounded like simmering.
Jace (02:22):
Oh well, we simmering now.
Now I got a new systemsimmering which actually will
play in quite well.
But yeah, we talked endings andbeginnings.
We talked a little bit about.
I shared a little bit about howI get ready for the new year
and what that process looks likefor me.
Right, I did that this year Alittle bit different, a little
more reflecting.
(02:43):
I wasn't as like gung-ho.
I have like a little less hopein my life and myself.
Just, you go through enough andenough doesn't work out and
whatever.
You kind of get older and soyou got a little less spark.
Right, it doesn't come for freeanymore.
Anyway, I was like, oh yeah,it's going to be a cool year,
whatever.
And I'm talking to thisincredible friend of mine, very
wise friend, love her dearly andshe was saying how she was like
(03:07):
I really think that new yearshould come in spring, not
January 1st, but that we shouldreally do new years in spring,
because then nature is cominginto a new year in a really
visible way and we're seeinglife and there's more of this
energy that's visible, that wecan participate in and we
connect with, and winter isreally that time to go within
(03:30):
and, yes, you're planting seedsand things like that.
But it's a nurturing time, it'snot a growth time.
And then here we are as humans,coming in, being like January 1
, I'm doing all the growth, allthe action, all of that yang
energy that the natural worlddoes not support around us.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I'mmaking this so hard on myself,
(03:52):
putting all this pressure, that,like come January, I got to be
in action mode and then the daysare shorter, we have less
energy, nature around us is notdemanding action, and so I
thought that is so simple.
And I'm sure other people arelike, yeah, jace, that's how
nature works.
But for me I was like I've beenworking against nature all of
(04:14):
these years and making it harderon myself and putting all this
pressure on myself.
And then we talk aboutresolutions not working out.
Yeah, because we're trying todo them in a time of dormancy
and sleepiness and everythingaround us isn't supporting it.
So my new plan is to still dothe reflection and all of that
at the end of the year, to stilldo that whole process, but then
(04:35):
to give myself the first 2 and1 1⁄2, 3 months of the new year
to maintain that meditativestate, to be more in a planning
mode instead of thinking I gotto hit the ground running, but
to really allow those desiresthat I have, the intentions that
I have to take growth on theirown time and to match my cycles
(04:56):
with nature when it comes to newyear planning.
Kristelle (04:59):
If you were asked what type of fish you are, hear
me out.
Jace (05:04):
Love it.
Kristelle (05:05):
What type of fish would you be?
This will kind of answer alongthe same lines of what you're
talking about right now whattype of fish would you be?
I?
Jace (05:14):
don't know that many fish.
I feel like I'm just going tosay whatever fish.
Kristelle (05:18):
I know what comes to mind.
What comes to mind.
Jace (05:22):
My friend has an aquarium and there's one fish that only
wants to live in the pirate ship.
He doesn't want to come out ofthe pirate ship.
Kristelle (05:32):
Are you talking about finding Nemo?
Jace (05:35):
No, it is an orange fish, my friend's name Dory.
No, it's just this, like littleblob fish that just wants to
hang out in a pirate ship allthe time, and though it seems
like a lonely existence, thatwas the first fish that came to
mind.
It's a clownfish.
It's not a clownfish.
Kristelle (05:50):
It's not a clownfish.
Jace (05:52):
I've never seen a fish like this, and it just wants to
be in a pirate ship all day andit's like you know what.
I can kind of get on with thosevibes.
Kristelle (05:56):
Fish is a very good example of nature.
Like, I love my metaphors,right, and so, talking about
this metaphor that you'retalking about, right, or that
you're talking about the cycleof life and nature, right, there
are fish that swim upstream.
Jace (06:10):
Yeah.
Kristelle (06:11):
If you said salmon, I'd be like oh, she's constantly
used to that, like making theworld working against the
universe going against the train.
If you're that one fish thatalways swims flat, right,
there's a flat fish.
I sound like so uneducatedright now, but fuck it.
Jace (06:27):
No, it's going swimmingly.
Kristelle (06:27):
Yeah, yeah.
So it has like a dark side anda light side and that type of
fish like obviously he swimsvery differently.
You're the pirate fish.
Jace (06:36):
Yeah, I want an analysis on being a pirate ship fish.
Kristelle (06:40):
The way that you I know that sounds really
ridiculous, but it's just theway that you described what type
of fish you would be in anaquarium very much matches the
vibe that you just talked aboutabout how you start the new year
.
Jace (06:51):
Oh, like down in the depths, chilling, hanging out.
Yeah, what's your fish?
Kristelle (06:57):
My fish is ooh, I think I would be the ugly algae
fish the hell's that called.
I don't know.
Jace (07:07):
Ted.
Kristelle (07:08):
No no not Ted.
Jace (07:09):
I knew a guy.
No, I'm just kidding.
What on could be Ted?
We don't know.
Kristelle (07:14):
You know it's the fish that sucks up the algae.
I'm the type of person.
What the hell's that called analgae fish?
Jace (07:20):
Yep, it's definitely called that.
Kristelle (07:23):
People are really and I tell us what it is.
You know, you know what it is.
One of you fuckers out there.
Jace (07:30):
Knows what this fish is, put it in the comments.
Oh my God, educate us.
Kristelle (07:34):
So the fish that sucks up the algae would be mine
, because, in an environment, Iknow how to chill and be at rest
, which was what my new yearstarted as, okay, I started at
rest, but it also started amongmarinating with the people
around me, which is what thatalgae fish does, like you just
(07:54):
want to talk about, right?
No, okay, so in an aquarium,there's always one fish that
sucks up all the algae and he'slike your natural cleaner.
Jace (08:02):
Does it just like stay sucked to the aquarium?
Kristelle (08:05):
side.
Uh, huh, yeah, okay.
Jace (08:06):
Those can get really big.
Yeah, my friend has one ofthose too, and then he showed me
video.
Those are fucking huge.
Don't put those places they'renot supposed to be.
They're taking over parts ofthe world.
I'm not kidding, I mean they'retaking over the world.
I mean it's wild.
Don't put those.
Leave fish where they'resupposed to be.
Kristelle (08:20):
Yeah, but like.
Jace (08:21):
PSA from.
Kristelle (08:22):
But Filipinos are taking over the world, so it's
even more relevant that I thinkthat's all right, that I can.
Jace (08:28):
you all aren't ruining ecosystems, as far as I know.
So and you bring Lumpia.
Yeah, I mean yes, exactly.
Kristelle (08:36):
So this sucker, that would be my fish, because I know
how to be at rest, but I alsowant to be useful.
Jace (08:42):
Yeah.
Kristelle (08:43):
I want to feel useful to the world or to the
environment that I'm in.
So that's the fish that I'm at.
Jace (08:46):
So I feel like you do support your like servant
leadership, right.
So you're like supporting therest of the tank and maybe
people don't even the other fishdon't even know it.
They're like just like lazy intheir pirate ships and whatnot
and you're like taking care ofshit.
Kristelle (08:57):
They're the most like , they're cheap and you don't
have to hire anybody to cleanthe damn tank.
Jace (09:01):
Yeah.
Kristelle (09:03):
And if you don't have them in there, then everybody
else is fucked because theycan't see.
Jace (09:07):
So that's why it's we should call it a fish eat fish
world, because I've learned alot about fish from my friend
and his aquarium and there's somuch to fish I did not know it's
a tough.
Kristelle (09:17):
Gaggy eater.
Is that really what it's called?
Yeah, yeah, right here I'll GEater.
They could have come up withsomething a little better than
that.
I says the girl who named hercat kitty.
Jace (09:27):
Okay, I was like I don't have a cat.
Kristelle (09:30):
So, if I so, what's my metaphor about the new year,
or resolutions because of that Ihave had this?
2023 was an epic year.
I it's, and I talked about itin the last episode.
I won't stop talking about howit was like one of the most
memorable times of my life.
Like there's no, there's nodoubt about it I'm very excited
(09:51):
for 2024, but it's it's thatevolution of stability that
we've talked about in some ofour previous episodes.
Right, but there was somethingreally fun about thinking how
this new year had started.
Resolutions None.
However, I talked to you aboutit.
I talked to Lucy about it.
I talked to my husband about it.
I said, okay, this is myresolution, because I know that
(10:14):
I'm going to try really hard notto break it, but, at the same
time, it's more of like a okay,fuck it, I'm, I'm going to do
something different.
I'm just going to disrupt my,my normal mode and my, and that
fuck it.
I don't know if you rememberthis.
My fuck it moment was like okay, if I know somebody is very
smart and competent and if Iknow that I, if I'm very aware
(10:37):
that I trust them as much asthey want to lean on me and as
much as easier for me to say,okay, I'll help you, as much as
I want to say I'll help you, Iwon't do it.
I'd be like you know what.
I trust you to complete it onyour own.
So do you remember thatconversation that I had?
Jace (10:54):
Yes, I do because I I was like I don't feel comfortable
doing this and you're like oh,go on, you go and do it.
Kristelle (11:00):
I didn't do anything, somebody else did it.
Jace (11:02):
I passed it off to somebody else To the right
person to a legal person.
Kristelle (11:05):
I'm not a legal person.
Perfect right.
Yeah, we got it done.
Yeah, it got done.
And I was really and that's thething that I had to tell myself
I'm like that was actually veryhard for me to say, ok, do it,
I'm not going to get involved.
And I'm learning a lot aboutmyself, because you would think
that, as an entrepreneur, as aleader, you're like how does she
(11:25):
not know how to delegate?
That's one of the thingsentrepreneurs are the worst at
yeah and I asked somebody at, soI started the year in Palm
Springs with the CounselorsAcademy folks, beautiful place
Met our mutual friend, salvatore, your friend first, absolutely
amazing.
So one of the cool things that Ilearned in Counselors Academy.
(11:47):
I said how do companies buildthemselves to the 20 to 50%
agencies at the summit andsomebody is like delegate,
delegate, build up your team,empower them, make them stronger
than what you might see it asand build them up so that way
they grow and they growexponentially and that way you
can just take a step back andwatch the whole thing and I'm
like I want that.
I really want that that's not myresolution for 2024, because if
(12:10):
it was a resolution, I'dprobably break it, but it's
definitely not a fucking momentLike, I want to make sure people
succeed and I wanted to makesure that I learned something
new whenever I was at this event.
So that's how I startedlearning something new around
people that totally understoodmy lifestyle, which is running
an agency and acting like achicken cutoff without a head
(12:32):
anymore.
What's the name of?
Jace (12:32):
that first we got the chicken with its head cut off.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, good stuff comes out ofCounselors Academy which, by the
way, crystal will be speakingat in the spring and we're going
to be featuring quite a fewdifferent folks and speakers
that are also part of thatcommunity as well.
They really know their stuff inthis space, so part of season
two will be featuring some ofthese really cool folks, you're
(12:54):
really good salesperson.
Great Well, we'll see.
I don't do they?
watch.
I don't know, but I want tomake sure people know what's
coming up, absolutely.
Kristelle (13:02):
No, no, no, and it's useful.
Jace (13:04):
It's very useful.
Kristelle (13:05):
They got useful.
Jace (13:06):
We're going to have useful stuff.
Kristelle (13:07):
I think what we it was like an indirect, direct
resolution for the show wascontinuing what we love,
continuing the things that wewere really happy with, not only
from Justin, but also from you,justin, our videographer, video
lead, our director, everythingeditor, whatever you think.
(13:28):
And I say that because when wehad our meeting of what are we
going to do for the podcast, allof us were in sync of, like
number one are we going tochange this format?
Nope, works great.
Are we going to change thesetup?
Nope, ok, works great.
Are we going to change thepromo?
No, works great.
Jace (13:45):
Are we going to change our mugs?
Yes, we are.
Mine even has my name on it.
Someone made this for me as agift.
I forgot mine.
It's my winter mug.
It's your winter mug.
Kristelle (13:55):
You have a very an affinity for that beautiful
hound.
Is it houndstooth print?
Jace (14:01):
This is not houndstooth.
What is it More just like a, Idon't know like a flannel
Flannel or jack Flannel.
Girl, don't get me started.
Kristelle (14:11):
I'm sorry.
Anyways, I would say that theshow kind of took its own
resolution, which was addingmore beautiful people to it.
Jace (14:21):
Well, and that was always the plan, bringing guests on, we
had to kind of get our our beaksweat, if you will.
I wish that hadn't come out ofmy mouth, but it did.
But you know, and what the showis and let it have its own
personality.
Before we brought other peopleinto the mix, yeah, but now we
are.
Yeah, we're spicing it up.
Kristelle (14:40):
Let me ask you this yes, as our awesome producer of
the show, planning normalcy andyou talked about planning not in
a way like this is not theright season for it, et cetera.
So one of the things that youwrote down was patience over
planning.
(15:01):
What does that mean Exactly,Especially in the context of
resolutions?
Jace (15:06):
Yes, so often, and I actually gave a talk on this
last January.
It was the New Year's talk thatI gave, which I called it to be
decided, and their promotionperson was like I need your talk
title and I'm like no, no, thatis my talk title.
I did not.
I'm not leaving it hanging.
My talk title is to be decidedand it's this notion that
(15:28):
oftentimes we can get this idea.
I'm like this is what 2024 isgoing to be and we can get into
super planning mode and we wantto have all of this agency over
what's to come.
Oftentimes we've just reflectedon, perhaps, what did not come
to fruition and we can maybeblame ourselves.
If only I'd done this and ifI'd done this, and this year I'm
definitely getting to the gymor whatever it is.
So we get all of this momentumon what we are going to do and
(15:51):
we get it all planned out,schedule it out, all of the
things, which is great, and thatcuts us off from what might be
available.
I don't know about you guys,but I can get blinders on when I
have an idea and I get tunnelvision and then that's the thing
and I'm missing all of theseother opportunities.
Or whether you believe in theuniverse, nature, sky, daddy,
(16:12):
like whatever you want to callit, whatever the unknown is, can
I often have really incrediblemagic waiting for us, and if we
plan ourselves out of that, wemiss out.
So having some comfort withambiguity, just some acceptance
with ambiguity, and allowingthat patients to be there to let
(16:34):
things unfold, instead ofoverplanning the year.
Kristelle (16:38):
Multiple people have told me that you are the
therapist that they didn't knowthat they needed.
That probably curses a lot moreand that was exactly an example
and the reason why I took kindof piggyback off of that.
Patients and planning,overplanning October and
November always catch me off.
Sorry, october and Novembercatch me off guard, but more so
(17:02):
January and February catch meoff guard as months as seasons.
Jace (17:06):
You don't hear that as much, but people are always like
can you believe it's November?
I can't believe it.
It's November already.
How did this happen?
It's like every year, folks,every year.
Here it is.
Kristelle (17:16):
Because I plan for timelines and blocks.
It's either a project is 90days or six months, or the year.
So November throws me off,because usually I've
accomplished everything I neededto achieve and I either have
more to do in November andDecember or I have nothing to do
(17:37):
and I'm pleasantly surprised.
But where January and Februarycatch me off guard it happened
again this year was that I wasso focused from January 1 to
December 31st 2023, that whenJanuary 1, 2024 came around, I
was like, oh shit, I have thingsI have to do.
(17:58):
I have projects.
I have to accomplish Leftoversthat were like no, it's due in
2024.
So I failed at likeaccomplishing failed.
I failed at planning properlyand I know you're saying
patients overplanning.
I didn't give myself thepatience to gradually go through
everything and I rushed a lotof the work.
(18:21):
So, by work, what exactly,chris?
What am I talking about?
I'm talking about strategicplanning that caught me off
guard when I've been doing itfor 10 damn years, 10 years.
One of our big balloon eventsthat I'm volunteering for, that
caught me off guard because it'sdue in February.
Why did I not start planningthis in August?
(18:41):
Right, I was getting married.
That's, besides, the point,right, like I think that we are
very used to planning everythingout that we don't see, I would
say, yes, patience is really keyin the whole process, but also
not looking in the tunnel of 12.
Jace (19:03):
Yes, yes, like that's such a nice little little bite that
we can put it in, but that's notlife.
Kristelle (19:10):
No, no, no, that's not necessarily life.
Jace (19:12):
It kind of blew my mind.
Two things you said wereshocking to me.
One you mentioned somethingabout me planning normalcy.
No one's accused me of thatever before.
I'm like I am.
Someone told me the other daylike about me having a stable
life and I was like oh shit,that's true, I do have a stable
life and I was like that wasshocking, because that's never
been, I know, and that's alllast year.
Kristelle (19:31):
That's what I was working on, right?
So I?
Jace (19:32):
was like the whole season one that was the jam, yeah, and
so I was like, oh, I've done it,so like, but you're being like,
oh, you, how you're so good atplanning normalcy.
I'm like, does that happen?
But the other thing was you'relike, yeah, when you're like you
know you have a thing inFebruary and you plan it in
August, and I'm like, is thatwhat the rest of you are doing?
Should I have been doing that?
Like God, that soundsresponsible.
I'll do more.
I do.
I do plan further out now.
(19:56):
But part of that and I'll justthrow this this end, because it
I learned it and it's a thingthat's true about being a human
A lot of folks, especially withthe trauma background, don't
have the same developmentalprocess in the brain and body as
others and that longtermplanning is one of those
processes that doesn't developuntil you have an extended
period of safety, stability andsecurity where you're not in
(20:19):
survival mode.
And then it's like, oh, I don'thave to just focus on right now
, this minute I can actuallythink out.
So I used to give myself such ahard time that I'd get to
February and I hadn't beenplanning in August.
And I've learned it's actuallyvery normal.
It's a symptom of trauma thatcan be reversed, that can be
healed, and now I am starting toplan out and I get excited.
(20:39):
If I plan out like three weeksin advance, that's pretty
exciting for me.
If I fill up my gas tank beforethe light comes on, also very
exciting.
I did not do that today, that'sa good celebration Just over
here on my way to work.
But yeah it, you know, we havethese standards that assumes a
baseline of health that mostlyno one is at, and I don't know
where these standards came from,but we do, and then it's.
(21:00):
It's that same notion of likehaving to fit in a year or
having to start it.
At these times, humans are sounique, we're so unique and
mysterious, and I wish we couldall just let some of that
pressure go and be who we areand like be okay with that and
eventually like be reallyexcited and supportive of
(21:21):
ourselves in our own cycles.
Kristelle (21:23):
Which reminds me of my next topic that's on here.
Fuck it.
Jace (21:27):
Fuck it, which is interesting because there's two
different.
When I read that, I was like isit like a fuck it moment or
like fuck it?
Kristelle (21:36):
Or see what happens.
Jace (21:37):
Yeah, oh, I like that.
Arms down, fuck it, Arms up,fuck it.
Those are different fuck it.
Kristelle (21:41):
So it was an arms up, fuck it in this instance.
Jace (21:45):
T-shirt Arms up fuck it.
Kristelle (21:47):
Arms up, fuck it Because I said to myself and I'm
going to, you'll see thecontext, like I'm going to.
Tarantino it for a minute.
Jace (21:56):
I was just going to say.
Can you do it in the actualvoice and tone you talk to
yourself?
Kristelle (22:02):
Hey, crystal, shut the fuck up.
That's what I say to myself.
No, no, no, don't be an asshole.
Today we talked about thattoday.
No.
So I had a fucking moment acouple months ago where I was
like, of course I'm gonna stayhealthy as best as I can.
Jace (22:13):
Of course.
Kristelle (22:13):
I'm gonna take care of my body, but there are a lot
of things that are out of mycontrol, that I don't understand
what's going on and I just hadto say fuck it, because normally
January 1st is man, we ate alot of sweets.
Man, we ate a lot of shit foodduring the holidays.
It's time to get our asses backinto the gym.
I didn't do that.
(22:34):
That was not what I wanted todo.
I've just learned that,obviously, watch what you eat,
get some a little bit exercisewhenever you need to keep your
heart rate up, at least once aday.
I've had to learn fuck it,crystal.
Your body's completelydifferent from everybody else's.
Completely different fromeverybody else's.
So I'm my parents, and my momand my family have pancreatic
(22:56):
cancer in their history.
Right, my dad has hyper bloodpressure.
I don't have a gallbladder, soI have GI issues.
I'm aging.
Jace (23:08):
We were talking about that earlier.
We make sounds when we get upand down.
Kristelle (23:11):
Yeah, oh, I even said to myself I literally put this
on my threads account.
I said, oh my God, did I hitthat part in my midlife crisis?
Because I enjoy going toMcDonald's and getting a large
diet coke at two o'clock in theafternoon.
That's a midlife crisis onitself, that's a thing.
Jace (23:28):
That's totally a thing.
Or are you not in middle oflife?
Yeah, I know You're gonna havea short life.
Kristelle (23:32):
Yes, yes.
So that's what I'm saying.
I'm like, oh my God, fuck it.
Embrace the diet coke at twoo'clock in the afternoon
Interesting.
Jace (23:40):
Yeah, I have a different theory.
Around the holiday, I don'ttouch diet coke.
I could go for one.
Better off drinking a regularcoke.
No, around the holidays Itypically do the opposite, and
I'll explain why.
So instead of starting to getfit in January, I like to start
watching what I eat and thingswhile everyone else is eating
(24:03):
junk.
That way, if I lose five pounds, it's more like I lost 10
pounds compared to everybodyelse.
That's my exercise weight losshack for you for the coming year
, if you double your weight lossaround the holiday season.
So I do it opposite.
I did not this year, clearly,but I can see the comments being
like that's fucking brilliant,it is because then everybody's
like damn, you're like lookinglike extra trim and fresh
(24:25):
because no one else is.
So more bang for your buck.
There you go.
Life hack from Jace Double yourefforts by just starting
earlier.
Fuck it, Fuck it.
That's how I roll.
How can I do less but have itperceived as more?
Kristelle (24:41):
Oh, my God, story of my life.
Three, four more fans, rightfrom 100% 100%.
Jace (24:49):
So whatever happened to Hondo P, do you remember when
people said that Hondo P yeah?
Kristelle (24:54):
100%.
Is that like Hondo?
Jace (24:55):
P, it's your, hondo.
Like it took me, I didn't knowwhat it meant for a really long
time, so I was really late onthe game, but then I liked it
and I think I held onto it solong I might bring it back.
Hondo P, who's with me?
Kristelle (25:07):
My Mexican self was like wait, wait, wait.
Are we talking about gettingall PP hearted again?
Jace (25:11):
No, not gonna be all PP hearted.
To be fair, I was living inAustin.
I don't know if Hondo P didn'tcome here yet it is to Mexico,
we might like in six yearsyou're just gonna be Hondo P and
they'll be like Jay said thaton Story, Success and stuff Just
a trendsetter.
You guys watch that show, HondoP.
Kristelle (25:26):
What are you all gonna be?
Pp hearted?
Okay, so we have a couple moreminutes left.
If you were to talk about the,what are we even talking about?
Jace (25:36):
The whip and like fish.
We're talking about all thosethings.
You don't have a gallbladder.
Kristelle (25:40):
When it comes to resolutions, what advice would
you have for somebody thatactually did set a resolution?
And they're at that point intime it's only what January.
Jace (25:50):
Well, February 2nd.
Okay, so February 2nd, right.
Kristelle (25:53):
They're listening to the show and they're like fuck.
Jace (25:56):
I set a resolution.
Yes.
Kristelle (25:57):
I love this.
Jace (25:58):
What do I do?
And they're like failing at ityeah.
Or they're not following orthey're about to quit.
Kristelle (26:02):
Or they have already quit and then now we're making
them accidentally feel guilty.
Jace (26:05):
Oh shit, no, we can't make you do anything.
We don't have that power.
But thanks for trying.
No, all right, this is my bestthing, and I do this with myself
, with my clients.
Be realistic.
Look at your actual efforts.
If you were like I'm gonna goto the gym, we'll just stick
with this, I'm gonna go to thegym five times a week, and you
got there once, be realistic,I'm gonna consistently go to the
gym once a week.
(26:25):
You can always build off ofthat.
But we often set these goalsthat don't match what we're
ready to put in Start with whatyou're already putting in.
Look at that realistically andthen stick with consistency.
Small efforts done consistentlyover time is how change happens
.
So don't give up.
Just be realistic, with noshame.
(26:48):
I go to the gym once a week,fuck.
Yes, go to the gym once a week,fuck it.
And then if you get inspired togo twice, great, do that.
Yeah, be realistic, with noshame.
Kristelle (27:00):
My advice is someone that's listening that has said I
had a resolution and I failedat it.
It's a matter of understanding.
Like the TikTok trend right nowis in and out lists, right, I
say don't fall within a listLike don't follow these lists
Like in and out burger.
Yeah, you know, no, no, no, thatsounds really delicious right
(27:21):
now.
But no, in and out lists ofpeople are writing like what's
in, what's out, and they'retalking about their personal
lives.
I think, yes, it's fun, it'strending to do an in and out
list on TikTok and that's great.
It's good for content, Isuppose.
But I think compartmentalizingfailure is not healthy to some
folks and to some degree that Ithink.
Just letting go and just sayingyou know, falling forward, it
(27:45):
didn't work, that's okay.
But I know what to do the nexttime around.
I decided to retry this andwhen I retry it I'm gonna do a
lot better.
Or I realized that this isn'tfor me and I'm not gonna force
myself into this.
Jace (27:57):
Yeah, this wedge Just collecting data.
That's what I look at.
Everything, do it as anexperiment, collect the data,
adjust as needed.
Kristelle (28:04):
Yes, yes, 100%.
Jace (28:06):
And.
Kristelle (28:07):
I'm bringing it back, that's gonna do it for.
Story Success and Stuff forthis week's episode.
I'm Crystal and this is Hondo P.
I don't want it as a nickname.
God, thank you so much forjoining us as we talked about
resolutions, we have a fun, funepisode for you next week, and
(28:29):
this is Mr Ken Jacobs.
Ken Jacobs is an executivecoach for public relations
professionals across the countryand we're very excited to have
him and his support of StorySuccess and Stuff, and so that's
gonna be a really fun andexciting episode.
If you enjoyed today's episode,don't forget to visit us on
your favorite social mediachannel, your favorite podcast
platform or CRScom.
Thanks so much.
This is Jace.
(28:50):
I'm Crystal.
We'll see you in the nextepisode of Story Success and
Stuff.
Poor you.
One of the things that you wrote down was patience
over planning.
What does that mean Exactly,especially in the context of
resolutions?
Jace (00:08):
Yes, it's season two.
Kristelle (00:16):
I don't know why that had to happen.
Yeah, no, no, no, it's OK.
Justin knew I was going to bescreaming.
Season two yeah.
That's why he was just likepushing the microphones away.
Jace (00:26):
Get this out of your face.
Please don't make that jobharder.
Kristelle (00:31):
Oh my God, you people .
Happy new year, Happy new yearyes.
I am very excited about seasontwo, yes, and the new year.
We have had such great successon the show.
Thank you to all of ourlisteners, our viewers, our
friends, our moms, our everybodythat has been such a big
support on stories, success andstuff.
(00:51):
During the break we have notonly planned an incredible
season of content, of joy, ofstories of tears we can't really
plan our tears, but that's OK.
Jace (01:01):
We can't.
We could try.
We can't no.
Kristelle (01:03):
Yeah, maybe.
Jace (01:04):
Could say really insulting things to one another until one
of us cries.
I mean it's totally off brand.
But we could do it.
I'm just saying we're in chargeso we can do that if we want.
I don't like this episode.
It's not fun anymore.
Kristelle (01:14):
Most importantly, thanks to Jace and to Justin for
having such a great, successfulpodcast.
We've heard from folks from themayor's office, from folks from
Alaska.
If you were in Alaska, yeah,what They'd be chilling.
Yeah, jennifer, thank you, loveyou.
I think you've been so fuckinghilarious.
(01:34):
Every single time I hear you.
Jace (01:36):
And thank you for laughing at that bad joke, Justin.
I appreciate that.
I totally missed it.
Kristelle (01:40):
In unintentionally, accidentally.
Jace (01:43):
Sorry, it was in neighboring territory.
Kristelle (01:48):
OK, I got that one.
We are exploring I could makean explorer joke, but I won't.
We're exploring the topic todayof resolving resolutions,
resolutions for whatever itmight be through the new year,
the old years, that you mighthave had Resolutions.
Are you a resolution maker?
Jace (02:07):
No.
Kristelle (02:08):
No.
Jace (02:09):
And if we're diving right in.
My whole system got like wetalked endings and beginnings at
the end.
Kristelle (02:16):
Does that sound different?
For exploding yeah, oh, ok.
Jace (02:19):
It was like an explosion crumble scenario.
Kristelle (02:20):
It sounded like simmering.
Jace (02:22):
Oh well, we simmering now.
Now I got a new systemsimmering which actually will
play in quite well.
But yeah, we talked endings andbeginnings.
We talked a little bit about.
I shared a little bit about howI get ready for the new year
and what that process looks likefor me.
Right, I did that this year Alittle bit different, a little
more reflecting.
(02:43):
I wasn't as like gung-ho.
I have like a little less hopein my life and myself.
Just, you go through enough andenough doesn't work out and
whatever.
You kind of get older and soyou got a little less spark.
Right, it doesn't come for freeanymore.
Anyway, I was like, oh yeah,it's going to be a cool year,
whatever.
And I'm talking to thisincredible friend of mine, very
wise friend, love her dearly andshe was saying how she was like
(03:07):
I really think that new yearshould come in spring, not
January 1st, but that we shouldreally do new years in spring,
because then nature is cominginto a new year in a really
visible way and we're seeinglife and there's more of this
energy that's visible, that wecan participate in and we
connect with, and winter isreally that time to go within
(03:30):
and, yes, you're planting seedsand things like that.
But it's a nurturing time, it'snot a growth time.
And then here we are as humans,coming in, being like January 1
, I'm doing all the growth, allthe action, all of that yang
energy that the natural worlddoes not support around us.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I'mmaking this so hard on myself,
(03:52):
putting all this pressure, that,like come January, I got to be
in action mode and then the daysare shorter, we have less
energy, nature around us is notdemanding action, and so I
thought that is so simple.
And I'm sure other people arelike, yeah, jace, that's how
nature works.
But for me I was like I've beenworking against nature all of
(04:14):
these years and making it harderon myself and putting all this
pressure on myself.
And then we talk aboutresolutions not working out.
Yeah, because we're trying todo them in a time of dormancy
and sleepiness and everythingaround us isn't supporting it.
So my new plan is to still dothe reflection and all of that
at the end of the year, to stilldo that whole process, but then
(04:35):
to give myself the first 2 and1 1⁄2, 3 months of the new year
to maintain that meditativestate, to be more in a planning
mode instead of thinking I gotto hit the ground running, but
to really allow those desiresthat I have, the intentions that
I have to take growth on theirown time and to match my cycles
(04:56):
with nature when it comes to newyear planning.
Kristelle (04:59):
If you were asked what type of fish you are, hear
me out.
Jace (05:04):
Love it.
Kristelle (05:05):
What type of fish would you be?
This will kind of answer alongthe same lines of what you're
talking about right now whattype of fish would you be?
I?
Jace (05:14):
don't know that many fish.
I feel like I'm just going tosay whatever fish.
Kristelle (05:18):
I know what comes to mind.
What comes to mind.
Jace (05:22):
My friend has an aquarium and there's one fish that only
wants to live in the pirate ship.
He doesn't want to come out ofthe pirate ship.
Kristelle (05:32):
Are you talking about finding Nemo?
Jace (05:35):
No, it is an orange fish, my friend's name Dory.
No, it's just this, like littleblob fish that just wants to
hang out in a pirate ship allthe time, and though it seems
like a lonely existence, thatwas the first fish that came to
mind.
It's a clownfish.
It's not a clownfish.
Kristelle (05:50):
It's not a clownfish.
Jace (05:52):
I've never seen a fish like this, and it just wants to
be in a pirate ship all day andit's like you know what.
I can kind of get on with thosevibes.
Kristelle (05:56):
Fish is a very good example of nature.
Like, I love my metaphors,right, and so, talking about
this metaphor that you'retalking about, right, or that
you're talking about the cycleof life and nature, right, there
are fish that swim upstream.
Jace (06:10):
Yeah.
Kristelle (06:11):
If you said salmon, I'd be like oh, she's constantly
used to that, like making theworld working against the
universe going against the train.
If you're that one fish thatalways swims flat, right,
there's a flat fish.
I sound like so uneducatedright now, but fuck it.
Jace (06:27):
No, it's going swimmingly.
Kristelle (06:27):
Yeah, yeah.
So it has like a dark side anda light side and that type of
fish like obviously he swimsvery differently.
You're the pirate fish.
Jace (06:36):
Yeah, I want an analysis on being a pirate ship fish.
Kristelle (06:40):
The way that you I know that sounds really
ridiculous, but it's just theway that you described what type
of fish you would be in anaquarium very much matches the
vibe that you just talked aboutabout how you start the new year
.
Jace (06:51):
Oh, like down in the depths, chilling, hanging out.
Yeah, what's your fish?
Kristelle (06:57):
My fish is ooh, I think I would be the ugly algae
fish the hell's that called.
I don't know.
Jace (07:07):
Ted.
Kristelle (07:08):
No no not Ted.
Jace (07:09):
I knew a guy.
No, I'm just kidding.
What on could be Ted?
We don't know.
Kristelle (07:14):
You know it's the fish that sucks up the algae.
I'm the type of person.
What the hell's that called analgae fish?
Jace (07:20):
Yep, it's definitely called that.
Kristelle (07:23):
People are really and I tell us what it is.
You know, you know what it is.
One of you fuckers out there.
Jace (07:30):
Knows what this fish is, put it in the comments.
Oh my God, educate us.
Kristelle (07:34):
So the fish that sucks up the algae would be mine
, because, in an environment, Iknow how to chill and be at rest
, which was what my new yearstarted as, okay, I started at
rest, but it also started amongmarinating with the people
around me, which is what thatalgae fish does, like you just
(07:54):
want to talk about, right?
No, okay, so in an aquarium,there's always one fish that
sucks up all the algae and he'slike your natural cleaner.
Jace (08:02):
Does it just like stay sucked to the aquarium?
Kristelle (08:05):
side.
Uh, huh, yeah, okay.
Jace (08:06):
Those can get really big.
Yeah, my friend has one ofthose too, and then he showed me
video.
Those are fucking huge.
Don't put those places they'renot supposed to be.
They're taking over parts ofthe world.
I'm not kidding, I mean they'retaking over the world.
I mean it's wild.
Don't put those.
Leave fish where they'resupposed to be.
Kristelle (08:20):
Yeah, but like.
Jace (08:21):
PSA from.
Kristelle (08:22):
But Filipinos are taking over the world, so it's
even more relevant that I thinkthat's all right, that I can.
Jace (08:28):
you all aren't ruining ecosystems, as far as I know.
So and you bring Lumpia.
Yeah, I mean yes, exactly.
Kristelle (08:36):
So this sucker, that would be my fish, because I know
how to be at rest, but I alsowant to be useful.
Jace (08:42):
Yeah.
Kristelle (08:43):
I want to feel useful to the world or to the
environment that I'm in.
So that's the fish that I'm at.
Jace (08:46):
So I feel like you do support your like servant
leadership, right.
So you're like supporting therest of the tank and maybe
people don't even the other fishdon't even know it.
They're like just like lazy intheir pirate ships and whatnot
and you're like taking care ofshit.
Kristelle (08:57):
They're the most like , they're cheap and you don't
have to hire anybody to cleanthe damn tank.
Jace (09:01):
Yeah.
Kristelle (09:03):
And if you don't have them in there, then everybody
else is fucked because theycan't see.
Jace (09:07):
So that's why it's we should call it a fish eat fish
world, because I've learned alot about fish from my friend
and his aquarium and there's somuch to fish I did not know it's
a tough.
Kristelle (09:17):
Gaggy eater.
Is that really what it's called?
Yeah, yeah, right here I'll GEater.
They could have come up withsomething a little better than
that.
I says the girl who named hercat kitty.
Jace (09:27):
Okay, I was like I don't have a cat.
Kristelle (09:30):
So, if I so, what's my metaphor about the new year,
or resolutions because of that Ihave had this?
2023 was an epic year.
I it's, and I talked about itin the last episode.
I won't stop talking about howit was like one of the most
memorable times of my life.
Like there's no, there's nodoubt about it I'm very excited
(09:51):
for 2024, but it's it's thatevolution of stability that
we've talked about in some ofour previous episodes.
Right, but there was somethingreally fun about thinking how
this new year had started.
Resolutions None.
However, I talked to you aboutit.
I talked to Lucy about it.
I talked to my husband about it.
I said, okay, this is myresolution, because I know that
(10:14):
I'm going to try really hard notto break it, but, at the same
time, it's more of like a okay,fuck it, I'm, I'm going to do
something different.
I'm just going to disrupt my,my normal mode and my, and that
fuck it.
I don't know if you rememberthis.
My fuck it moment was like okay, if I know somebody is very
smart and competent and if Iknow that I, if I'm very aware
(10:37):
that I trust them as much asthey want to lean on me and as
much as easier for me to say,okay, I'll help you, as much as
I want to say I'll help you, Iwon't do it.
I'd be like you know what.
I trust you to complete it onyour own.
So do you remember thatconversation that I had?
Jace (10:54):
Yes, I do because I I was like I don't feel comfortable
doing this and you're like oh,go on, you go and do it.
Kristelle (11:00):
I didn't do anything, somebody else did it.
Jace (11:02):
I passed it off to somebody else To the right
person to a legal person.
Kristelle (11:05):
I'm not a legal person.
Perfect right.
Yeah, we got it done.
Yeah, it got done.
And I was really and that's thething that I had to tell myself
I'm like that was actually veryhard for me to say, ok, do it,
I'm not going to get involved.
And I'm learning a lot aboutmyself, because you would think
that, as an entrepreneur, as aleader, you're like how does she
(11:25):
not know how to delegate?
That's one of the thingsentrepreneurs are the worst at
yeah and I asked somebody at, soI started the year in Palm
Springs with the CounselorsAcademy folks, beautiful place
Met our mutual friend, salvatore, your friend first, absolutely
amazing.
So one of the cool things that Ilearned in Counselors Academy.
(11:47):
I said how do companies buildthemselves to the 20 to 50%
agencies at the summit andsomebody is like delegate,
delegate, build up your team,empower them, make them stronger
than what you might see it asand build them up so that way
they grow and they growexponentially and that way you
can just take a step back andwatch the whole thing and I'm
like I want that.
I really want that that's not myresolution for 2024, because if
(12:10):
it was a resolution, I'dprobably break it, but it's
definitely not a fucking momentLike, I want to make sure people
succeed and I wanted to makesure that I learned something
new whenever I was at this event.
So that's how I startedlearning something new around
people that totally understoodmy lifestyle, which is running
an agency and acting like achicken cutoff without a head
(12:32):
anymore.
What's the name of?
Jace (12:32):
that first we got the chicken with its head cut off.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, good stuff comes out ofCounselors Academy which, by the
way, crystal will be speakingat in the spring and we're going
to be featuring quite a fewdifferent folks and speakers
that are also part of thatcommunity as well.
They really know their stuff inthis space, so part of season
two will be featuring some ofthese really cool folks, you're
(12:54):
really good salesperson.
Great Well, we'll see.
I don't do they?
watch.
I don't know, but I want tomake sure people know what's
coming up, absolutely.
Kristelle (13:02):
No, no, no, and it's useful.
Jace (13:04):
It's very useful.
Kristelle (13:05):
They got useful.
Jace (13:06):
We're going to have useful stuff.
Kristelle (13:07):
I think what we it was like an indirect, direct
resolution for the show wascontinuing what we love,
continuing the things that wewere really happy with, not only
from Justin, but also from you,justin, our videographer, video
lead, our director, everythingeditor, whatever you think.
(13:28):
And I say that because when wehad our meeting of what are we
going to do for the podcast, allof us were in sync of, like
number one are we going tochange this format?
Nope, works great.
Are we going to change thesetup?
Nope, ok, works great.
Are we going to change thepromo?
No, works great.
Jace (13:45):
Are we going to change our mugs?
Yes, we are.
Mine even has my name on it.
Someone made this for me as agift.
I forgot mine.
It's my winter mug.
It's your winter mug.
Kristelle (13:55):
You have a very an affinity for that beautiful
hound.
Is it houndstooth print?
Jace (14:01):
This is not houndstooth.
What is it More just like a, Idon't know like a flannel
Flannel or jack Flannel.
Girl, don't get me started.
Kristelle (14:11):
I'm sorry.
Anyways, I would say that theshow kind of took its own
resolution, which was addingmore beautiful people to it.
Jace (14:21):
Well, and that was always the plan, bringing guests on, we
had to kind of get our our beaksweat, if you will.
I wish that hadn't come out ofmy mouth, but it did.
But you know, and what the showis and let it have its own
personality.
Before we brought other peopleinto the mix, yeah, but now we
are.
Yeah, we're spicing it up.
Kristelle (14:40):
Let me ask you this yes, as our awesome producer of
the show, planning normalcy andyou talked about planning not in
a way like this is not theright season for it, et cetera.
So one of the things that youwrote down was patience over
planning.
(15:01):
What does that mean Exactly,Especially in the context of
resolutions?
Jace (15:06):
Yes, so often, and I actually gave a talk on this
last January.
It was the New Year's talk thatI gave, which I called it to be
decided, and their promotionperson was like I need your talk
title and I'm like no, no, thatis my talk title.
I did not.
I'm not leaving it hanging.
My talk title is to be decidedand it's this notion that
(15:28):
oftentimes we can get this idea.
I'm like this is what 2024 isgoing to be and we can get into
super planning mode and we wantto have all of this agency over
what's to come.
Oftentimes we've just reflectedon, perhaps, what did not come
to fruition and we can maybeblame ourselves.
If only I'd done this and ifI'd done this, and this year I'm
definitely getting to the gymor whatever it is.
So we get all of this momentumon what we are going to do and
(15:51):
we get it all planned out,schedule it out, all of the
things, which is great, and thatcuts us off from what might be
available.
I don't know about you guys,but I can get blinders on when I
have an idea and I get tunnelvision and then that's the thing
and I'm missing all of theseother opportunities.
Or whether you believe in theuniverse, nature, sky, daddy,
(16:12):
like whatever you want to callit, whatever the unknown is, can
I often have really incrediblemagic waiting for us, and if we
plan ourselves out of that, wemiss out.
So having some comfort withambiguity, just some acceptance
with ambiguity, and allowingthat patients to be there to let
(16:34):
things unfold, instead ofoverplanning the year.
Kristelle (16:38):
Multiple people have told me that you are the
therapist that they didn't knowthat they needed.
That probably curses a lot moreand that was exactly an example
and the reason why I took kindof piggyback off of that.
Patients and planning,overplanning October and
November always catch me off.
Sorry, october and Novembercatch me off guard, but more so
(17:02):
January and February catch meoff guard as months as seasons.
Jace (17:06):
You don't hear that as much, but people are always like
can you believe it's November?
I can't believe it.
It's November already.
How did this happen?
It's like every year, folks,every year.
Here it is.
Kristelle (17:16):
Because I plan for timelines and blocks.
It's either a project is 90days or six months, or the year.
So November throws me off,because usually I've
accomplished everything I neededto achieve and I either have
more to do in November andDecember or I have nothing to do
(17:37):
and I'm pleasantly surprised.
But where January and Februarycatch me off guard it happened
again this year was that I wasso focused from January 1 to
December 31st 2023, that whenJanuary 1, 2024 came around, I
was like, oh shit, I have thingsI have to do.
(17:58):
I have projects.
I have to accomplish Leftoversthat were like no, it's due in
2024.
So I failed at likeaccomplishing failed.
I failed at planning properlyand I know you're saying
patients overplanning.
I didn't give myself thepatience to gradually go through
everything and I rushed a lotof the work.
(18:21):
So, by work, what exactly,chris?
What am I talking about?
I'm talking about strategicplanning that caught me off
guard when I've been doing itfor 10 damn years, 10 years.
One of our big balloon eventsthat I'm volunteering for, that
caught me off guard because it'sdue in February.
Why did I not start planningthis in August?
(18:41):
Right, I was getting married.
That's, besides, the point,right, like I think that we are
very used to planning everythingout that we don't see, I would
say, yes, patience is really keyin the whole process, but also
not looking in the tunnel of 12.
Jace (19:03):
Yes, yes, like that's such a nice little little bite that
we can put it in, but that's notlife.
Kristelle (19:10):
No, no, no, that's not necessarily life.
Jace (19:12):
It kind of blew my mind.
Two things you said wereshocking to me.
One you mentioned somethingabout me planning normalcy.
No one's accused me of thatever before.
I'm like I am.
Someone told me the other daylike about me having a stable
life and I was like oh shit,that's true, I do have a stable
life and I was like that wasshocking, because that's never
been, I know, and that's alllast year.
Kristelle (19:31):
That's what I was working on, right?
So I?
Jace (19:32):
was like the whole season one that was the jam, yeah, and
so I was like, oh, I've done it,so like, but you're being like,
oh, you, how you're so good atplanning normalcy.
I'm like, does that happen?
But the other thing was you'relike, yeah, when you're like you
know you have a thing inFebruary and you plan it in
August, and I'm like, is thatwhat the rest of you are doing?
Should I have been doing that?
Like God, that soundsresponsible.
I'll do more.
I do.
I do plan further out now.
(19:56):
But part of that and I'll justthrow this this end, because it
I learned it and it's a thingthat's true about being a human
A lot of folks, especially withthe trauma background, don't
have the same developmentalprocess in the brain and body as
others and that longtermplanning is one of those
processes that doesn't developuntil you have an extended
period of safety, stability andsecurity where you're not in
(20:19):
survival mode.
And then it's like, oh, I don'thave to just focus on right now
, this minute I can actuallythink out.
So I used to give myself such ahard time that I'd get to
February and I hadn't beenplanning in August.
And I've learned it's actuallyvery normal.
It's a symptom of trauma thatcan be reversed, that can be
healed, and now I am starting toplan out and I get excited.
(20:39):
If I plan out like three weeksin advance, that's pretty
exciting for me.
If I fill up my gas tank beforethe light comes on, also very
exciting.
I did not do that today, that'sa good celebration Just over
here on my way to work.
But yeah it, you know, we havethese standards that assumes a
baseline of health that mostlyno one is at, and I don't know
where these standards came from,but we do, and then it's.
(21:00):
It's that same notion of likehaving to fit in a year or
having to start it.
At these times, humans are sounique, we're so unique and
mysterious, and I wish we couldall just let some of that
pressure go and be who we areand like be okay with that and
eventually like be reallyexcited and supportive of
(21:21):
ourselves in our own cycles.
Kristelle (21:23):
Which reminds me of my next topic that's on here.
Fuck it.
Jace (21:27):
Fuck it, which is interesting because there's two
different.
When I read that, I was like isit like a fuck it moment or
like fuck it?
Kristelle (21:36):
Or see what happens.
Jace (21:37):
Yeah, oh, I like that.
Arms down, fuck it, Arms up,fuck it.
Those are different fuck it.
Kristelle (21:41):
So it was an arms up, fuck it in this instance.
Jace (21:45):
T-shirt Arms up fuck it.
Kristelle (21:47):
Arms up, fuck it Because I said to myself and I'm
going to, you'll see thecontext, like I'm going to.
Tarantino it for a minute.
Jace (21:56):
I was just going to say.
Can you do it in the actualvoice and tone you talk to
yourself?
Kristelle (22:02):
Hey, crystal, shut the fuck up.
That's what I say to myself.
No, no, no, don't be an asshole.
Today we talked about thattoday.
No.
So I had a fucking moment acouple months ago where I was
like, of course I'm gonna stayhealthy as best as I can.
Jace (22:13):
Of course.
Kristelle (22:13):
I'm gonna take care of my body, but there are a lot
of things that are out of mycontrol, that I don't understand
what's going on and I just hadto say fuck it, because normally
January 1st is man, we ate alot of sweets.
Man, we ate a lot of shit foodduring the holidays.
It's time to get our asses backinto the gym.
I didn't do that.
(22:34):
That was not what I wanted todo.
I've just learned that,obviously, watch what you eat,
get some a little bit exercisewhenever you need to keep your
heart rate up, at least once aday.
I've had to learn fuck it,crystal.
Your body's completelydifferent from everybody else's.
Completely different fromeverybody else's.
So I'm my parents, and my momand my family have pancreatic
(22:56):
cancer in their history.
Right, my dad has hyper bloodpressure.
I don't have a gallbladder, soI have GI issues.
I'm aging.
Jace (23:08):
We were talking about that earlier.
We make sounds when we get upand down.
Kristelle (23:11):
Yeah, oh, I even said to myself I literally put this
on my threads account.
I said, oh my God, did I hitthat part in my midlife crisis?
Because I enjoy going toMcDonald's and getting a large
diet coke at two o'clock in theafternoon.
That's a midlife crisis onitself, that's a thing.
Jace (23:28):
That's totally a thing.
Or are you not in middle oflife?
Yeah, I know You're gonna havea short life.
Kristelle (23:32):
Yes, yes.
So that's what I'm saying.
I'm like, oh my God, fuck it.
Embrace the diet coke at twoo'clock in the afternoon
Interesting.
Jace (23:40):
Yeah, I have a different theory.
Around the holiday, I don'ttouch diet coke.
I could go for one.
Better off drinking a regularcoke.
No, around the holidays Itypically do the opposite, and
I'll explain why.
So instead of starting to getfit in January, I like to start
watching what I eat and thingswhile everyone else is eating
(24:03):
junk.
That way, if I lose five pounds, it's more like I lost 10
pounds compared to everybodyelse.
That's my exercise weight losshack for you for the coming year
, if you double your weight lossaround the holiday season.
So I do it opposite.
I did not this year, clearly,but I can see the comments being
like that's fucking brilliant,it is because then everybody's
like damn, you're like lookinglike extra trim and fresh
(24:25):
because no one else is.
So more bang for your buck.
There you go.
Life hack from Jace Double yourefforts by just starting
earlier.
Fuck it, Fuck it.
That's how I roll.
How can I do less but have itperceived as more?
Kristelle (24:41):
Oh, my God, story of my life.
Three, four more fans, rightfrom 100% 100%.
Jace (24:49):
So whatever happened to Hondo P, do you remember when
people said that Hondo P yeah?
Kristelle (24:54):
100%.
Is that like Hondo?
Jace (24:55):
P, it's your, hondo.
Like it took me, I didn't knowwhat it meant for a really long
time, so I was really late onthe game, but then I liked it
and I think I held onto it solong I might bring it back.
Hondo P, who's with me?
Kristelle (25:07):
My Mexican self was like wait, wait, wait.
Are we talking about gettingall PP hearted again?
Jace (25:11):
No, not gonna be all PP hearted.
To be fair, I was living inAustin.
I don't know if Hondo P didn'tcome here yet it is to Mexico,
we might like in six yearsyou're just gonna be Hondo P and
they'll be like Jay said thaton Story, Success and stuff Just
a trendsetter.
You guys watch that show, HondoP.
Kristelle (25:26):
What are you all gonna be?
Pp hearted?
Okay, so we have a couple moreminutes left.
If you were to talk about the,what are we even talking about?
Jace (25:36):
The whip and like fish.
We're talking about all thosethings.
You don't have a gallbladder.
Kristelle (25:40):
When it comes to resolutions, what advice would
you have for somebody thatactually did set a resolution?
And they're at that point intime it's only what January.
Jace (25:50):
Well, February 2nd.
Okay, so February 2nd, right.
Kristelle (25:53):
They're listening to the show and they're like fuck.
Jace (25:56):
I set a resolution.
Yes.
Kristelle (25:57):
I love this.
Jace (25:58):
What do I do?
And they're like failing at ityeah.
Or they're not following orthey're about to quit.
Kristelle (26:02):
Or they have already quit and then now we're making
them accidentally feel guilty.
Jace (26:05):
Oh shit, no, we can't make you do anything.
We don't have that power.
But thanks for trying.
No, all right, this is my bestthing, and I do this with myself
, with my clients.
Be realistic.
Look at your actual efforts.
If you were like I'm gonna goto the gym, we'll just stick
with this, I'm gonna go to thegym five times a week, and you
got there once, be realistic,I'm gonna consistently go to the
gym once a week.
(26:25):
You can always build off ofthat.
But we often set these goalsthat don't match what we're
ready to put in Start with whatyou're already putting in.
Look at that realistically andthen stick with consistency.
Small efforts done consistentlyover time is how change happens
.
So don't give up.
Just be realistic, with noshame.
(26:48):
I go to the gym once a week,fuck.
Yes, go to the gym once a week,fuck it.
And then if you get inspired togo twice, great, do that.
Yeah, be realistic, with noshame.
Kristelle (27:00):
My advice is someone that's listening that has said I
had a resolution and I failedat it.
It's a matter of understanding.
Like the TikTok trend right nowis in and out lists, right, I
say don't fall within a listLike don't follow these lists
Like in and out burger.
Yeah, you know, no, no, no, thatsounds really delicious right
(27:21):
now.
But no, in and out lists ofpeople are writing like what's
in, what's out, and they'retalking about their personal
lives.
I think, yes, it's fun, it'strending to do an in and out
list on TikTok and that's great.
It's good for content, Isuppose.
But I think compartmentalizingfailure is not healthy to some
folks and to some degree that Ithink.
Just letting go and just sayingyou know, falling forward, it
(27:45):
didn't work, that's okay.
But I know what to do the nexttime around.
I decided to retry this andwhen I retry it I'm gonna do a
lot better.
Or I realized that this isn'tfor me and I'm not gonna force
myself into this.
Jace (27:57):
Yeah, this wedge Just collecting data.
That's what I look at.
Everything, do it as anexperiment, collect the data,
adjust as needed.
Kristelle (28:04):
Yes, yes, 100%.
Jace (28:06):
And.
Kristelle (28:07):
I'm bringing it back, that's gonna do it for.
Story Success and Stuff forthis week's episode.
I'm Crystal and this is Hondo P.
I don't want it as a nickname.
God, thank you so much forjoining us as we talked about
resolutions, we have a fun, funepisode for you next week, and
(28:29):
this is Mr Ken Jacobs.
Ken Jacobs is an executivecoach for public relations
professionals across the countryand we're very excited to have
him and his support of StorySuccess and Stuff, and so that's
gonna be a really fun andexciting episode.
If you enjoyed today's episode,don't forget to visit us on
your favorite social mediachannel, your favorite podcast
platform or CRScom.
Thanks so much.
This is Jace.
(28:50):
I'm Crystal.
We'll see you in the nextepisode of Story Success and
Stuff.
Poor you.
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