Mic Drop Moments: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

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Conquering Stage Fright: Expert Tips and Techniques

 In this episode, I dive deep into overcoming stage fright, drawing from my early experiences of stepping onto the stage with nerves and sharing fascinating historical facts like Thomas Jefferson's aversion to public speaking. 

We discuss common fears such as being judged, forgetting your lines, and handling small versus large audiences. 

I provide you with actionable tips and powerful breathing exercises to manage those jitters and deliver confidently.

 Remember, your calling and preparation matter more than the audience's opinions.

 Join me as I offer practical advice and encourage you to embrace the excitement and nerves that come with your mission. Practice those breathing techniques, and step boldly into your calling. Tune in for more expert insights on StorySpire!

00:00 Introduction to Storyspire Podcast
00:19 Overcoming Stage Fright: Lessons from History
02:35 Identifying and Addressing Common Fears
06:44 Practical Techniques to Calm Your Nerves
10:47 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the Storyspirepodcast.
I'm Mary R.
Snyder.
I am your host and storytellingstrategist.
I'm here with expert advice,actionable tips, and frameworks
to create the stories that willinspire hearts and minds because
stories change the world.
Let's get into it.
I've been a speaker for over 20,more like over 25 years.

(00:24):
And I realized that this issomething I dealt with a lot
when I first started, but I'vebeen comfortable on a stage for
so long, but I wanted to go backto those early days when
stepping on that stage, steppingonto this, the wings of a stage.

(00:46):
Would send me into a little bitof a fight or flight and it's
not a little bit It is a fightor flight.
Now what I think is fascinatingis that the way we stand on
stage and speak We are judged alot by that and here's one of

(01:07):
the things that I found funny Isthat as I was studying this
fight or flight the stage frightis I learned that Thomas
Jefferson, the signer of theDeclaration of Independence and
our 3rd president would havestruggled to get elected today.
And here's why he had a veryhigh pitch voice and a slight

(01:31):
list and he despised givingspeeches so much.
That he sent his State of theUnion address to Congress by
letter rather than stand up anddeliver it in person.
I just found that to befascinating.
Now, we would not put up withthat today.
We would require him to speak.

(01:52):
Think about what we would havemissed out on in Thomas
Jefferson.
So, let's not be like ThomasJefferson.
I want you to work on Handlingthose nerves.
Now, I also want to tell youthat there is a fine line
between excitement andnervousness.

(02:12):
Both of them can manifest verysimilarly.
I can go into all the reasonswhy we feel like this, because
we feel like we're under attack.
And we go back into the way wewere created to make sure that
we're okay.
We do the fight or flight thing.
But let's talk about how we aregoing to deal with it.

(02:35):
Now, number one, let's talkabout what we're worried about.
What are you worried about whenyou step on that stage?
Now, I don't know about you.
And I say this consistently.
If I come off the stage and Ihaven't fallen down, I feel like
I've won.
Now, people laugh, but it's oneof my biggest fears.

(02:56):
And I've fallen off a stagebefore.
It wasn't a long drop, and I wasable to, like, pick myself up
and gather myself.
And I was not in the middle ofspeaking, I was, leaving the
stage.
What are we dealing with?
Well, here are some of thethings that I've recognized.
In my past is the number 1 thingis I want the audience to like

(03:20):
me.
So, there's this fear of themnot liking me a fear of being
judged and I'm going to put thatto rest because when you are
stepping onto that stage.
In the calling that God hasplaced on your life, you are
speaking in and on the topicthat he has given you and that
you have prayerfully enteredthat ministry, that calling, and

(03:45):
that you have accepted thisopportunity prayerfully knowing
this is where God has called youand you are Really, truly
prepared and prayed up to stepon that stage, then you don't
need to worry about what anyonethinks that's on them.
Not you, you do what God'scalled you to do.
And I'm preaching to you and tome at the same time, because

(04:07):
this is a tough one for all ofus.
There's also the fear offorgetting what I'm supposed to
say, and I'm here to tell youit's happened to me, you know,
and there's a fear of a bigaudience.
Now, a lot of people say theyare fearful of a large audience.
I am more fearful of a smallaudience.

(04:27):
And you're wondering, what?
Because to me, it is harder tospeak to a group of 20 than it
is to speak to a group of 3,000.
Because in 3, 000, that's a lotof people.
When it's 20, it's one on one onone on one.
It's a little harder for me.
We're all different.

(04:48):
We're all unique.
The fear of panicking.
Like losing where you'resupposed to be, losing your
space, and then panicking, andliterally asking for a do over.
Now, if that happens and youhave to ask for a do over, so be
it.
Such is life.
You'll ask for the do over, andyou will do over, but we're not

(05:11):
gonna go there.
The fear of looking nervous.
I don't want to look nervous.
I may be nervous, but I don'twant to look nervous.
Here are some external fears youmay be dealing with, you know,
that you are carrying thisweight of what God has given you

(05:32):
to share, and you want to honorthat, and I don't think that is
not a bad, and let's not call ita fear, it's a burden, and it's
a good burden, you are fearfulof the audience's reactions.
You see somebody yawning orscrolling their phone, just
assume they've got somethingelse going on.
It is not about you.
I was recently speaking at anevent and in the back rear of

(05:55):
the room, there was a group ofpeople talking and it was rather
disruptive.
So what did I do?
I just kept going.
Now everything in me wasyelling.
I wish they'd sit down and hush,but I just had to keep going.

(06:15):
And here's why, because everyoneelse in that room was waiting
for me to speak.
They were there to hear what Ihad to say.
I like to change that to hearwhat God had to say through me.
You're fearful that your slideswon't work, that the microphone
might go down, that it's toodark to see your notes.
That has happened to me.

(06:35):
That's why it's so essential tocheck your stage.
These are all natural.
This is normal.
Don't feel bad about this.
Now, I want to give you somethings to help you overcome your
fears.
Number one is knowing yourmessage.

(06:57):
Now you've heard me say, I don'twant it rehearsed.
It's your story.
You're gonna tell it.
So know how you will start.
Know that opening.
Inside and out.
You want to know exactly thefirst words that will come out
of your mouth and how they willflow.
Know how you'll stand.

(07:18):
How will you stand there?
And we're going to talk aboutthat in an upcoming episode.
Is how Your body languageimpacts what you say.
So know how you're going tostand.
Know what you're going to dowith your hands.
Know where you're going to placeyour notes.
And know how you will end yourmessage.

(07:39):
Now what does the middle looklike?
Well the middle is really youtelling the story.
So that's your preparation.
But what do you do when you'restanding the side of the stage
and you are shaking?
I have a couple of things I wantyou to do.
I want you to stand upright andI want you to put your hands

(08:01):
together as if you were praying,palm to palm, and make your
forearms parallel to the ground.
And then I want you to breathein through your nose and hold it
for a couple of seconds.
And then I want you to push yourhands together as hard as you
can and squeeze the air out ofyour lungs through your mouth.

(08:24):
So you're going to breathe inand you're going to squeeze your
hands together and blow out allat the same time.
And there is this release andwhat it does that releases the
tension in your upper chest andit also engages your diaphragm
as you push the air out.
So it's a great exercise.

(08:45):
Here's another one.
This is gonna help slow downyour heart rate.
If you feel like your heart'sracing, I want you to do this.
And this is when I do sidestage.
Breathe in for a count of threethrough your nose.
We're gonna breathe in, we'regonna do it together.
You ready?
1, 2, 3.
And then we're gonna breathe outthrough our nose for a count of

(09:06):
three.
1, 2, 3.
And you're gonna repeat that twomore times.
18 full seconds.
And you will be surprised at howmuch calmer you feel.
It will settle your heart.
And if it doesn't, then I wantyou to do it again.

(09:28):
Now, if you feel yourselfstarting to panic, if you feel
yourself starting to get thatoh, oh, that feeling, I want you
to take in one long, deep breathin.
And at the same time, I want youto hold that air in your lungs.
Then I want you to hold thatbreath as long as you can.

(09:50):
Focus.
And then I want you to slowlylet that out through your mouth.
This breathing technique helpscalm our mind.
Now, if you're someone who getsnervous standing on the side of
the stage, these are exercises.
That will greatly help yousettle your nerves.

(10:11):
What I like to do is, because Ireally don't get nervous, but I
do want to settle myself beforeI step on stage, because I am
super excited and I typicallywill do a long breath in.
I'll release it and I may dothat two times and then I will
just say a prayer and I willsay, Lord, More you, less me.

(10:35):
Use me to the fullest of whatyou would have for me.
I hand it all to Jesus and layit at the altar and I step out.
Excitement and fear sit side byside.
Because we are handling such abig calling, communicating what

(10:57):
God has given and gifted to us.
That we do hold it a littledifferent, that we do have a
level of nervousness,excitement, responsibility, that
we step onto any platform,whether it be a virtual event,
which we don't even see how manypeople are there, or whether

(11:18):
it's a live event with a handfulof people, or a few people, or a
few hundred, or a few thousand,it really doesn't matter the
number, what matters is itmatters.
You are doing exactly what Godhas called you to do.
You may feel a little nervous, alittle unsettled at times, but

(11:41):
know this.
He has gone before you and madea way for you and this message.
Step into what he is calling youto do.
All right, go practice thosebreathing exercises.
Thank you for spending your timewith me today.

(12:01):
I hope you enjoyed this episode.