#100 Navigating Life by Design with David B. Prosper

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth
.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Podcast Frank talk about sex and dating.
Hello, Tamara here, Welcome tothe show.
Today's guest is David Prosper,a new author, and we'll be
talking about finding clarityand how lack of clarity
emotionally and mentally showsup in dating, sex and self-worth
.
Thanks for joining me, David.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, I think it'll be great stuff.
I know I often lack claritysometimes, so it'll be helpful
for me too.
So what brought you tounderstand that clarity was good
?
Or you want to talk about thatlike how you got started knowing
that?

Speaker 1 (00:38):
It started with, like growing up in the projects of
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and Iwill see a lot of smart people,
capable people, educated peopledo things that they know, that
they not do things that theyknow they could do.
And it was the lack ofinformation, because there was a
dime, a dozen.

(00:59):
The Internet was there when Igrew up, but it was the lack of
clarity of knowing what to do,how to do it, when to do it and
how to navigate life by designversus reactive.
So I started seeing it and justlike the brokenness in my
community and I was just likeokay, like what is this problem
that we're facing?
And I went on this long hike inColorado Springs a couple of

(01:19):
years ago.
And I went on this long hike inColorado Springs a couple of
years ago and I asked God what'smy purpose?
And he was just like clarity.
So ever since then I've justbeen on this mission, obsessed
with how do people get to thedestination, how do they
navigate life in a way that it'snot reactive but it's more

(01:41):
intentional and it's morereflective.
So that's how the journeystarted for me.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, not that it compares, butI had foster kids who are from
a low-income area and that wasmy goal too is to just show them
, like I would drive them aroundnicer neighborhoods and say,
see, like this is the world outthere, and if you stay in school
, go to school, do well, youknow there's other kinds of life

(02:06):
out there, so I understandwhere that could come from.
So very cool, and on the justout of curiosity, because I
always feel like I may have apurpose as well.
And then the clarity andfeeling like God said something.
Like.
What did that feel like?
Was it just like you just knewit in your bones?
Or it felt like someoneactually said something?
Like.
What did that feel like?
Was it just like you just knewit in your bones?
Or it felt like someoneactually said something or cause
.
I've had an experience where Ifelt like they said he's not

(02:29):
right for you.
Like I woke up, like, oh my God, like someone said you know
when I was with someone that Iwas debating on breaking up, so
how was that for you?

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, it was, it was audible.
And and even then, i'm'm stilla little skeptical because,
granted, I grew up in a churchand I would hear my mother and
she was a pastor, but I wasstill skeptical.
So I was like, all right, Iknow you said it, but I'm still
doubtful, so I need someconfirmation.
So I was like, give me someconfirmation.
And I literally drove from myhike in a mountain.

(02:59):
I drove and I saw this sign itwas a store called Clarity and I
was like, okay, like I can'tmiss this, and I've never seen
it.
I've driven that spot everytime and I've never seen it.
And it was like Clarity.
And I was like, okay, all right, that's you who said that.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, that's very cool.
And what, now that you're onthat path, what have you done to
help people or what's?
I know, obviously you justmentioned that you wrote a book
recently, so talk there, or moreof the journey to get to the
book.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah.
So both the journey to the bookwas it was quite the journey.
I believe as authors sometimeswe can speak from the
mountaintop of where we'vearrived, but it's the process
that I love.
And throughout the book, eachchapter that I wrote that's

(03:53):
coming out August 2025, I had togo through my own crucible,
like some chapters were superhard for me because I had to go
into the trauma of my pastrelationships, and one of the
chapters I was talking about thepower of subtraction and I talk
about sometimes we need to findonly quality people and in that

(04:18):
chapter, like I cried theentire time, I told my
girlfriend I was like I lost alot of people and we took
different paths and we haddifferent intentions and
purposes.
So the book was.
It is written from a place ofauthenticity and is more of a
conversation of here's thejourney I've been through in
clarity.
Here's some example, here'ssome neuroscience, here's some

(04:39):
psychology, and then there'squestions throughout the book
that has the reader to startreflecting, because there's
nothing worse than somebody justtalking and then no one having
a chance to ask questions oreven reflect.
So the book is more of aconversation that you're having
over a cup of coffee and Ibelieve that clarity isn't this

(05:00):
like there's a myth that youhave to have everything figured
out, and it's not that.
It's what is my next right stepand throughout the book is what
is your next right step.
And those things create acompound clarity which creates
momentum, and momentum changestrajectories and lifestyles and
legacies.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah, yeah, I like that, yeah, cause I felt like
that too, like where I'm notsure what to do, and then
something happens like, okay,I've always had plan A through D
in my mind and so whichever Ilike work towards all of them.
But one becomes the clear thingand I, like you said you
mutually, or just had to be likeI, yeah, I need to move on from

(05:50):
you, kind of thing.
Do you like have theconversation and say that, or do
you just stop talking as often?
Or like, how did that workgenerally for you?

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh, that's such a good question.
I believe in having difficultconversations and I believe
difficult conversation leads todeeper relationships and
difficult conversation doesn'thave.
I grew up in a toxicenvironment trauma and
communication.
It was violence all the time.
I grew up around that.
So I was like okay, I'm goingto do the opposite of this

(06:22):
because clearly this doesn'twork for anybody involved.
Okay, I'm going to do theopposite of this because clearly
this doesn't work for anybodyinvolved.
So when we think of difficultconversations, there's like a
perception that it has to berude, it has to be crude, it has
to be hurtful.
I believe that we can lovepeople with truth and grace.
So I've had many difficultconversations and then, for
example, it would look like thisIf we were ending a

(06:43):
conversation, it would be like,hey, I'm going to share some
things that's been bothering me.
I want to hear what's beenbothering you and how you view
things, and at the end of itlet's find a resolution.
And my first pursuit is how canwe resolve it?
But if we can't resolve it,then how can we move forward
amicably?

(07:05):
And then I share the things thatbothered me and I'm like, okay,
what did you hear from what Ishared?
And they were, they would sharewhat they shared, and I was
like okay, what's the resolution?
How can we solve this andresolve this?
If the person's not willing,then you can't make the person
do it.
So it's just like okay, like Ilove you and I've said this to a
lot of family members I loveyou and I'm thankful for you,
and there's always a space here.

(07:25):
Here is the standard, though Ifwe're going to interact with
each other, it's gonna behealthy, and if we're not gonna
be healthy, then we're no longergonna interact with each other.
That's just the standard.
There's always a space if youdecide to come back, but until
that, I'm just gonna love youfrom afar, know that you're in
my heart and that I'm prayingfor you and that the bridge is

(07:47):
always open.
But this is the standard ifwe're going to interact with
each other.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, that's a great way to do it Because, like you
said, difficult doesn't have tobe mean or hard and you can grow
closer potentially if youactually resolve everything,
Because so many guys not justguys, but so many people I'll
just say in my experience, likein the past, where guys they
don't want to talk about it,let's just move on, and then you
never resolve the thing and youknow it's just much healthier

(08:15):
and helpful if you can actually,like, have a difficult
conversation, resolve some stuffand move on.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah, we all need it.
We all need it.
We all need it.
And I remember the first time Istarted dating my girlfriend, I
told her from the beginning Iwas like, just so you know,
we're never going to fight.
She was like what?
I was like we're never going tofight.
Like what do you mean?
I was like you and I are nevergoing to fight.
He was like say more.
And I was like we are alwaysgoing to have a conversation.

(08:42):
I don't care how much tensionin there.
We're going to have aconversation that's going to be
respectable, it's going to bevalidating and it's going to be
you're going to say I statements.
You're not going to say you,you, you, if you want me to
interact in a way, that's waslike this has been the most
healthiest relationship I'veever been.

(09:02):
I was like that's standard,because we don't fight.
That's stupid.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm in the same boat forthe first time, like a nice
healthy, just have conversationsand work stuff out.
It's such a refreshing change.
I like it, yeah.
So what are some of the otherchapters that stood out or that
you think are most helpful?
Or the next thing that'shelpful?

Speaker 1 (09:26):
All of it is helpful.
But one of my couple of myfavorite personally is Behind
the Curtains and it's the lastchapter.
So there's this book thatinspired me by Napoleon Hill,
called Outwitting the Devil, andin that book, like he's having

(09:47):
this fictitious conversationwith the devil and he's
interviewing him.
So I was inspired by that bookbecause I've read that a couple
of times and I was like OK, likehow can I intertwine this?
So in Chapter 13 of FindingClarity there's is called the
Behind the Curtains of FindingClarity.
There's it's called the Behindthe Curtains and in this chapter
there's a conversation betweenGod and the devil on behalf of

(10:12):
the people.
So there's spiritual forceshappening around us and the
devil is typically trying tokeep us in a space of comfort
and chaos and God is trying tobring us to a space of clarity
and wholeness and healing.
So there's this conversationhappening in the background
while Emily is going to coffeeand she's feeling heavy and
she's in her car and she'scrying uncontrollably and she's

(10:35):
making progress and then she'sgoing back to what she said she
would never do again and likegoing, seeing that from a front,
like seeing that up front, andthen seeing the conversation
that's happening on the back endis one of my favorite chapters.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Okay, and then as far as like dating and finding
clarity, like what are yourthoughts on?
Like how would you approachlike I know you have a
girlfriend now but in the past?
Like how would you bestapproach like dating in the
dating world or suggest othersdo?

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, I would say one of the biggest things I learned
in dating is that we haveexperienced so much hurt from
our past that we're unable toarticulate what we actually want
.
And when I say that, I rememberI've gone on dates and I would

(11:31):
ask girls and I would say, hey,like, what are you looking for?
And the first thing that theywould tell me is, well, I'm not
looking for someone who'sabusive and a narcissist.
And I was like time out, timeout, time time, wait a minute.
I said what are you looking for?
Not what do you don't want.
So, like when dating, I believelike we don't have to be

(11:54):
completely healed to get into arelationship, and I know there's
people that are like healedfirst, like because
relationships should be a spaceof healing, but we should deal
with a lot of the things thathaven't been dealt with and we
should never place thatexpectation or that burden on
people.
So I believe, when it comes todating and finding partners or

(12:14):
friendships or whatever it lookslike, is really doing the work
of what do I want, and thatseems like a big audacious
thought what do I want?
Well, I don't know.
Like the movie, the Notebook,what do you want?
I don't know, but I wouldventure and say, asking what

(12:36):
makes me feel alive when I havedeep conversations?
Do I feel alive when I haveshallow conversations?
Do that make me feel alive?
When I'm doing, when I'mcreating experiences, does that
make me feel alive?
Or I'm getting gifts, does thatmake me feel alive?
So it's finding things thatmakes us feel alive and do I

(12:56):
feel better as a result of beingaround this person is the
biggest indicating.
Like every date I've come from,I've always asked myself do I
feel better being around thisperson?
And the answer is yes, I'll bearound them more often.
The answer is no, and theirenergy and their vibe and their
auras.
It's like I'm not trying tocreate a project and I'm not

(13:20):
trying to fix something or makesomething artificially happen.
So I would say finding out what, what makes us feel alive and
and what do we want, versusfocusing on the pain that we
experienced in our past.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, for sure.
So, since this podcast is aboutdating and sex, like, is there
anything you would say aboutclarity in sex?
Like is it?
It?
I'm imagining a open dialogueas well.
In general, like is that yourrecommendation, or like thoughts
on clarity around that?

Speaker 1 (13:52):
a hundred percent, like right, the.
I believe the the best intimacy, the best sex experiences are
the one that's the mostcommunicated Like.
So when we have this, when wedon't communicate what our wants
are and our needs, that's likesetting the other person up for,
like failure, and like it'slike food, right, you can say,

(14:14):
hey, I want more of that.
Can you do that?
You know more of that.
So it's the same thing in sex.
It's like, hey, I like when youperform this and this was what
gets me going, and it starts theprocess of being wanted and
clarity.

(14:34):
It starts in communication andit's like here's what I want.
And it starts at the beginningof the day.
It's not when it the actactually happened.
It's like, hey, like in themorning, hey, I want you, you're
beautiful.
Like I tell my girl, like, and,and it becomes.
It becomes this journey versusthis one-time act that becomes

(14:58):
so, uh, the experience fallsshort.
So, yeah, clarity is needed inwhat do I want, what's enjoyable
in this process, what we agreeon, because one person can agree
on something, another persondon't agree on it.
That's miscommunication rightthere and people are frustrated.
So, just having thatunderstanding of what works for

(15:20):
us and what doesn't work for us.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, I like that.
And then you also talked aboutfinding clarity, both
emotionally and mentally.
Is there anything you want tosay about one of those?
First?

Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah, emotionally and mentally it goes hand in hand.
I believe that emotionallyhappens after the mental and it
happens after, when we'regrounded.
So I always encourage myclients and the people in my
circle if they're stuck, if theyjust like don't know where to
go, first get grounded.

(15:53):
And when we're in anxiety andif we're in our trauma brain or
our amygdala brain fight orflight and constantly in
survivor mode, we won't have theemotional capacity nor the
mental capacity to hold spacefor other people around us.
So getting grounded.
And then, once we're grounded,then we can use our prefrontal

(16:15):
cortex to start reasoning whatmakes sense, what doesn't make
sense, what's the next best step.
And then, when we're at thatspot, then we can start changing
the stories that we tellourselves.
Often, and the storiestypically influence our emotions
.
So if the story I'm tellingmyself is that I'm not enough
and that I'm not worthy of love,then the emotion is gonna feel

(16:36):
like sadness, depression,isolation, discouragement, and I
tend to repeat that story andnow it reinforces that emotion.
So I would say the mental pieceof getting grounded, moving
from our amygdala to ourprefrontal cortex, what allows

(16:57):
us to reason, and then changingthe stories we tell ourselves,
it then changes the emotionsthat we feel.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, yeah, definitely agree.
And then the other point youmentioned, where we talked about
early on, was talking aboutself-worth.
Is that, I'm guessing it'ssomewhat similar to the
emotional, mental, like thestories you tell yourself, or is
there more to the self-worthpart of it for you?

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, that's a great question.
So self-worth is?
I believe it's.
It's the, it's the by-productof in in action or action.
So when we say we're going todo something and we don't do it,
then we start trustingourselves.
So we become less confident andconfidence is believing in

(17:45):
one's ability to get the jobdone.
So I believe a lot of people whostruggle with with self-worth
issues just like I have when Iwas younger I made promises to
myself that I didn't commit to.
So when we have clarity, itallows us to understand why
we're doing something, how to doit, when to do it and how to

(18:08):
navigate through it.
Then we start taking steps.
It starts becoming those micromoments of confidence builder,
like when we're in grade schooland we're learning basic math
one plus one is two, two plustwo is four, and then we get so

(18:31):
proficient in doing that thing.
Then now we move on to the nextgrade and just like, oh, ok,
like I did addition, now we cando multiplication and let's ask
them division, because I've donethis before, now I can build on
what I've done.
So I believe when individualsstruggle with self-worth and
self-esteem issues is becausethey haven't built anything they

(18:53):
can leverage from.
And the first thing is likejust do one small thing and be
honest with yourself and do whatyou say you're going to do, and
do that enough times and thencelebrate that you've done it
enough times.
And that's where confidencecomes from.
It's like like the birds, likethey're not.
They're not afraid of thebranch breaking because they

(19:14):
believe in their ability to fly.
And it's just like anythingelse, like I don't care what
comes my way because I believein my ability to navigate.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
That Very cool.
I was going to ask who are.
I know you mentioned NapoleonHill reading his book.
Are there any other influencersor or celebrity or people you
look up to, like that, thatshare your philosophy or you've
learned from?

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yeah, first and foremost, jesus Christ.
He set the blueprint, and thebest book I've ever read was the
Bible.
So, like it, it it's taught mehow to, how to love, how to
serve, how to give, how tocreate boundaries, how to set
standards and how to navigaterelationships in the healthiest

(20:00):
ways.
So that's who I look up to.
As far as specific celebrities,there's no one I look up to.
There's people who I like a lotof their teaching styles and
their strategies, but I don'tplace any man or woman on a
pedestal to say I want to belike that.
No, it's just like I like that.
But I'm David Prosper andthere's one of me, just like

(20:23):
there's one of you.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, it just cause you remind me of some of the
people that I follow and myboyfriend follows.
So I was just thinking of, butyeah, I can see that where you
are, just who you are, and I cansee you becoming one of those
people.
So, if you're not already, butI mean you know, like more
well-known, like like AlexHormozy or something like that.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, he's awesome.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's, that's the vibe I get.
So, yeah, but on that note, howcan people reach you or work
with you, or until how to reach,get your book and all that?

Speaker 1 (20:55):
First and foremost, you can reach me directly at
davidbprospercom.
I'm on all social networkplatforms, but the place I live
is Instagram and you can find meat.
I am prosper one underscore Iam prosper one underscore.
Or you just put in David BProsper and you'll see me as
well.
So those are the two placesthat I live, but I'm on all

(21:16):
social network.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Okay, and I know you said your book comes out August
2025.
And is it going to beeverywhere, or like Amazon first
, or like?
I don't know how new books workif it's certain places are
everywhere?

Speaker 1 (21:28):
It's going to be on Amazon, so it's going to be
super simple and Ingram sparks,but most people know Amazon
because, Amazon day is coming up, but no, it's already started.
So, yeah, it's going to be onAmazon as well as different
platforms.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
All right.
Well, is there any liketakeaway or last kind of closing
thoughts kind of thing?
Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I would encourage everyone every day, find clarity
every day, make progress and ifyou do those things, you'll
eventually end up in the spotthat you want to end up in.
And progress looks differentlyevery day.
So, whatever you're goingthrough, whatever you're
navigating, whatever challengesyou have, some day progress is
10%, some days it's 100%, butit's still progress.

(22:12):
So celebrate that, walk forwardand stay clear.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
All right, well, thank you very much.
That's some great informationand I appreciate you being on,
and if you love this episode, besure to tell your friends about
it and rate it as well, andfollow the show, of course, and
check out him on Instagram DavidB Prosper.
Search.
That way, the easiest way.
It sounds like.
All right, well, thank you verymuch for being on again.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Thank you All right.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Well, thank you very much for being on again.
Thank you All right.
Thanks everyone.

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